The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 311- I Got Cheated On And DUMPED HIS A$$.

Episode Date: April 24, 2022

BE KIND.  Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up, guys? It's episode 311. Welcome back to the show. in the court of public opinion i believe many people would say that what I'm doing here on this episode is unhinged. It's immature. It's cheap. It's crazy. It's reckless. It makes me look like a jealous, bitter person. And I'm aware of that. I'm aware of what this is. However, I hit record today for a reason. Like I do every week. I'm here to help people. And I believe that my story today about how my boyfriend of a year cheated on me can help people. So, yep, the episode title is I Got Cheated On and I Dumped His Ass. That's what I came up with.

Again, I understand this is wild and immature and crazy and whatever. but it's juicy it's uh current and I think the number one thing I want to do here because because nothing about cheating and nothing about people that cheat is high class nothing about it is positive so I want to do this episode in the most elegant high class way possible because that's the type of woman I am you might have your opinion again about this whole thing in general, just me even coming on a podcast today to air out my dirty laundry about my relationship. But yeah, I want to add as much wisdom and helpful insights to this episode that I learned about along the way. I want to talk about the red flags I ignored. I want to talk

about my ego and what it was doing throughout the relationship and how it was holding on to this person and when I should have let him go and I have so much to say that I think again is going to be it's not going to be dirty and cheap and you know shallow I'm not going to say terrible things because I think it'd be really easy for me right now to pop off and you know say like you know say every name in the book about this person but here's the thing unfortunately this is a reality that a lot of us go through and it's absolutely gut-wrenching it's disgusting I'm you know definitely in the first phase of shock and um just I I'm I yeah I guess that's the word I'm kind of in shock so um I think yeah a lot of us go through this unfortunately it's disgusting

and I want to podcast about it today because I learned so much and you guys I here's the thing oh my god welcome back to the show welcome back to the Jacqueline Monroe show hey if you're new um hit that subscribe button uh you can listen to me on Apple Spotify wherever you listen to podcasts make sure to follow me everywhere um and if you want to support the show uh head over to patreon.com slash TJMS and sign up. It's $5 a month. It's a way to support me. Um, so go check it out. Patreon.com slash TJMS. So, um, I guess where should I start? Do you guys want the tea first? Do you want to know the backstory, the love story? Do you guys want to know the once upon a time when I met him first? Should I talk about the red flags? Um, so essentially I came

out of the pandemic, um, well, 2021, I came, I was in a good place and I was like, okay, I'm gonna, you know, start dating again. I'm going to download, download Hinge and I'm going to put myself out there and go on dates. And long story short, I meet this guy on Hinge and, um, I, it he on paper everything was fine you know I was like this is there's there are no red flags it took me until a year a year into it to like recognize how many red flags there were but um long story short he cheated on me should I just tell you guys what happened I feel like you want to know up front fuck I'm doing this off the cuff um I do have a couple notes here about like never lowering your standards never settling um if you think they're cheating they

are red flags I ignored um so yeah I'll just go back to I met him everything was amazing uh I fell in love like it was a it was a slow burn it was a very gentle tender kind love where most of my past relationships where I had that chemistry with someone were more hot and heavy and more intense where when I met this man I just felt a sense of peace and being around him felt like a home like I I just I've never felt so comfortable in my skin and and I've never felt so comfortable to be exactly who I am um with a man until I met him so it was like wow you know you're maybe you're gonna be the father of my kids maybe you're gonna be my husband someday I don't know but things were going really well up until, um, not too long ago when he cheated on me. So yeah. And the thing is,

it's like, I'm in that shock where I'm like, you're telling me I'm in love with you. You're my baby. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. I love you so much. I, you know, all the love, love, love all the words of affirmation that make you feel so good and feel so loved. You know, I was getting, getting all of that up until the end. Um, you know, it's insane. I went to my, I, I can't go on TikTok right now, but, uh, I went to my last TikTok and I was gloating about, I did like a little story time about how I felt like I was living a fairy tale. And I described how, you know, a few weeks back I'd gone over to his house and walk my dog there and delivered him oat milk for his coffee. And I felt like that was such a wholesome, like fulfilling

memory or like moment because it was so simple, but it felt so good to sit with him in the sun in the morning and, um, say hello and give him his oat milk. But yeah, it's just wild how you can literally go from a hundred, a hundred to zero in a relationship like that. And I'm there. I, you know, like I said, I dumped his ass and, um, it is what it is, but, um, let's see here. I want to start with, I guess what happened. So let's see, um, this is, like, hard to talk about, I, I know I'm doing this, I'm strong, I can do, this is the thing, I'm, I, I want to, I want to tell the story, I really do, um, it's important, I think it's also an empowering thing, I feel, you guys, by the way, this could not have happened at

a better time, I feel so amazing right now, I feel so confident, and, like, I'm on a high in life right now I had a huge thing happen at my job the other day I have an exciting appointment on Monday for something I'm doing for my birthday that I cannot wait for I all my other relationships are happy and healthy and like solid I have a lot of new friendships um my health is good my mind is good so this I'm happy that all my you know buckets are full in the other areas unfortunately I got cheated on and I am breaking up with my boyfriend or I broke up with him but um thank god i've it's a good time i guess if it was going to happen at any time it should never happen first of all i have no tolerance for cheating i have no tolerance for

um going behind my back ever in a relationship and being dishonest and honesty and trust are right next to each other for me so if you break my trust and you're dishonest it's or if one is broken and the other isn't whatever it goes hand in hand and i'm absolutely done but you guys okay this is what I want to say really quick. When I tell you the things I didn't, I ignored and let slide over the last year, one, including a, I'll just kind of air it out right now. He was directly involved and responsible for a medical proceed, a very traumatizing medical procedure I had and didn't even offer to pay for it. Didn't take care of me after I had the surgery and literally left me high and dry and like he like that was like what I don't understand how I allowed a

person to uh that so he apparently loves me um like do that to me and not actually like care for me and take care of me and and like for something he was a hundred percent responsible for it not paying or not even it's not about him paying for everything it's just like you're part of this and you didn't even offer to uh foot the bill for what it was and I'm alluding to something maybe you guys are reading between the lines I don't want to say the language and use the words of what it specifically entails but um that was probably like wow the biggest red flag I ignored um so what was I gonna say oh I was gonna I was gonna tell you what happened let's get into it so um

I've been really excited to start golfing because I followed golf my whole life I've watched on tv ever since I was a like an infant my parents would play it on tv all the time and it would rock me to sleep when I took naps growing up and I'm obsessed with golf. I've followed it my whole life. And for some reason I've never gone on the, I've never, I've never played golf. Um, like for real where, you know, I've borrowed people's golf clubs and hit balls around at the range and that kind of thing, but, and putt putt obviously, but I've never had my own set. I've never gotten into it. So this spring I got, um, I got really excited because I bought my whole, a full set of Callaway golf clubs and I was going to start playing and my boyfriend's an avid golfer. And he, um, you

know, when we traveled back last summer and, um, went over to the East coast, um, I remember him teaching me how to golf. Um, we were just chipping balls and he's such a good, he was such a good teacher. And I love golfing with him because he helped me so much. And I'm a newbie. I have no technique I don't know what to do and um you know he was a really good instructor I guess I don't know why I'm saying it's hard to say something positive about him right now but whatever um so I wanted to take up golf this spring I'm still going to um and basically what happened is I went golfing for the first time with him here in San Diego and we played nine holes just like we not it was just like a quick, um, you know, easy game of golf, like a, not a, not a super fancy

course. And that was on a Monday, Monday night or Tuesday night. Um, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Like I just, I just played golf with you for the first time. And I looked at him, I remember when we were walking on the course, I was like, this is such a big deal that you're taking me out golfing for the first time ever right now like this means so much to me like whoa whoa I'm doing it oh my god I've been wanting to do this my whole life basically so yeah it meant a lot to me and it was uh just to have him there and um be the first person to show me how to golf and play with me and um so yeah that was earlier in the week and then on that Thursday he had um plans with his work buddies and one of his good guy friends that was

coming into town to go golfing and he's like yeah we're gonna go out and uh you know our tea time's at like 4 30 something like that and um then we're gonna probably go out for drinks later so I was like fine whatever you golf with your guy friends all the time no big deal so here's what happened um basically uh he had called me earlier that day he had something exciting happen at work and he was like so excited like woo you know this happened woo I'm you know, proud of myself, whatever. And he was calling, he called me about it and everything was good. You know, I love you, baby. Like all that kind of stuff. And, um, that night after he finished golf around like eight, he gave me a call and it was a little odd because I trust him.

I've always trusted him to like go out with his friends. I don't control him. I don't need to know every detail about what you're doing but he was giving me all these random details that seemed like and he sounded nervous or like off or his energy was different and I talked to him on the phone almost every day so like I know what he's like when he's being just like fully himself and normal and yeah he was like telling me how oh we're gonna meet here we're gonna go out here and get drinks here and then like all these like skittish details like nothing was really making sense, but he was like, it seemed like he was trying to make sure that I knew exactly what he was doing and not leaving a single detail out. So I got a pit. I got a pit in my stomach.

Like the gut feeling that I've been getting throughout this year about a situation involving another person. And I had a bad feeling that this, I don't want to use mean names and nicknames, this person who I want to thank for, I guess, is it like homewrecking the relationship? I want to thank, how do I say this? That's not very nice. My whole thing today on my laptop it says be kind I just want to like thank this woman for you know doing whatever she did or like getting involved with my boyfriend whatever happened because like I'm free and I feel like it was for a reason and it sucks it hurts it's it's mean it doesn't it's like everything about it is disgusting and it's psychologically fucking hard to process and

everything. But yeah, I just want to thank her, you, whoever, whoever you are. Cause fuck, I think it was a good thing at the end of the day. And what is it? Hindsight's a blessing or that whole phrase. So let's get into it. What did Jacqueline discover? So something you need to know about me is that I am very pro using social media as a tool to get clarity in shady situations. And what that means is that I am pro burner account. I am pro have a stalker account have a little account ever I mean it's like old news that everyone does this I'm not even embarrassed I'm not even ashamed I don't care if you think oh she's a crazy psycho she's always like looking at other people's instagrams I don't give a fuck it is what it is

I'm very pro that and I think if you even this is where I'm at I think if you even need to make a stalker account if you even need to if you're even suspecting your boyfriend's cheating on you and need to go look at another girl's Instagram account because you're you know paranoid or whatever that's like a red flag in itself just get in the relationship I know that so like this was just like okay I'm I'm pretty sure this is my gut feeling I'm pretty I feel I just felt there's things leading up to this you guys there's backstories why I think this was going on um that like red flags and and signs that um I ignored and just like let slide so yeah I get it Like if you're even doing this, if you're even having to stalk your boyfriend and figure out like who he's with and what he's doing, that's not healthy.

So it just sucks because I was kind of in a compulsive mood to like find out for myself and I found exactly what I was looking for. Um, this person, um, upon my browse, my browsing session on her social media had, um, filmed my boyfriend golfing and, uh, she was in the little golf cart. She showed herself off and then she flipped the camera and there's the love of my life. There's my man. There's my person. um I'm not gonna get emotional and that's when I got the first pit like fuck I knew it I knew it was always gonna be her I knew it was I knew they were behind going behind my back I knew I knew I

knew and I honestly was initially enraged at this woman for having the like balls I don't know how else to say it to put if you I don't know I guess okay there's like more to this I should just cut it so she filmed him playing golf filmed like took a picture of him whatever they were clearly out together and I didn't know she was going to be there so at the end of the day my boyfriend withheld this information that she was going to be there and told me he's going with his two buddies. So yeah, but I was just like, what woman with any respect for another woman and her relationship and the man in his relationship would be that ballsy and that, what's the word? There's like a better word than ballsy.

um it's cheap at the end of the day it's very cheap it's very immature it's immature to film someone's boyfriend and like as if you're on a golfing date with them you know what I mean so that was calculated she knew what she was doing I feel like she's been in love with my boyfriend this whole time has always wanted to like steal him back whatever the fuck but I just that sat wrong with me at the end of the day I'm it's not her it's my boyfriend who is in the he's majorly in the wrong. So, and he's responsible for all this. So, um, yeah, that's what I found out. And, um, long story short, he lied to me again about her and they're at Coachella as a couple coming out as a couple right now, all over their social media. And, um, he lied to me and said, I'm going

to Coachella with my guy friends after I like confronted him about this. And we talked about the situation and how, you know, it made me feel. And I told him how much it hurt me that he did that. Um, at the end of the day, like this is like done, right? Like anyone would say breakup with his ass. If he even withheld that information, information that this, this girl is going to be there. And this is the thing I didn't mention. They had, they had a past. Okay. They had a past they dated before and he always refers to her as a good friend nothing romantic and he's he said everything negative about her oh I don't even think she's that attractive um she's looks better on Instagram you're way prettier than she is she's like um what else has he said like he said

all these like negative things to me about her before which is weird I feel like that's a red flag like if a guy's talking a lot of shit about a girl it probably means he actually wants to fuck her right like I don't know I get suspicious about that kind of stuff um but yeah they had a past so that's why I was uncomfortable by I knew about her in the in the past so um yeah it wasn't cool so um I guess I should clear that up what the past was so when I before I started dating him and we became boyfriend and girlfriend um officially we um how do I say this he was okay he never thinks that he never thought this was wrong because he said well we weren't official and here's what happened and after a couple months of dating last spring um

he throughout that time I mean it was like full-on lovey-dovey like that kind of shit it was like very sweet and romantic. And I, I see, you know, I see you in my future. Like I see us long-term, all this like stuff, you know, whatever. A lot of talk, talk's cheap. Okay. That's what I learned. Here's a lesson. Watch what they do. Don't listen to them because actions are, they definitely speak louder than words. So yeah, a couple of months into the relationship, he was very clear about how you're the woman, only woman I'm talking to. Like I'm just dating you. I'm not seeing anyone else I want you I want you I want you blah blah like let's do this thing you know um and that was very reassuring I felt like I was doing the same thing I wasn't dating anyone else

and um one weekend he goes he had planned a road trip with his guy friends and um a climbing trip and he told me everyone who's gonna everyone he was going with and they were all boys names um this person he cheated on me with has a boy's name. So it didn't sound like a red flag when he said it like, Oh, Oh, there's gonna be, you know, a girl that like, okay. Um, just you one on one climbing this mountain together, uh, her, him and a girl, but she has a boy's name. Does that make sense? So, um, I didn't, it didn't even register. And, um, long story short, I thought it was odd how guys it's not like I pay attention to like who watches my story and shit but sometimes like if you just like pull it up real quick people that are like freshly like

random accounts I like see the like recent people that look you know if you if you like post a story and then lift it up so I saw this account I was like oh interesting um why is she on my shit and then I'm like oh you guys just climb this mountain together what the fuck you went on a solo like climbing trip and you didn't tell me it was with a girl one-on-one like what the fuck and of course when I confronted him about it um he was just like oh it's she wanted to climb this mountain really bad she had a permit um we're just friends we're friends we're friends I think we were like we were out getting a drink one time and that's when he started talking shit about her and was just like it didn't work out we have no chemistry it's like we're not like it

just it's not like it's not like we're just friends we're just like homies whatever and I'm very against like honest to god uh what's it called um uh like uh male female friendships with like one-on-one with like conventional like okay this is the thing it's not how do I say this um it just she kind of had a like a similar vibe to me I was like you're not like some doorknob looking girl like I'm not stupid it's not like I mean she's like a bombshell like sure like I'll just say it like I don't I don't think she's some like dipshit person he just like he wouldn't want to be romantically involved with clearly uh he did this whole time because they're at Coachella, you know, doing stuff together. So, um, being a couple, uh,

coming out as a couple, um, after he cheated on me with her. So that's cool. Um, so I was just like, this doesn't sit right with me. Like, you know what I mean? I'm a little, I was like, okay, what the, like who, and then what girl like goes on road trips and excursions with a man one-on-one who they don't see as a protective like man who's gonna take care of them and like I feel like that's dating that's like going on a trip with a guy in a way and it was a long trip I would think it was like nine days um their stint was like less than that but anyways there's this is like too much information so that was a red flag I was like okay um I'm uncomfortable with that um you know I found out he did that and he just said yeah we're just friends no big deal I want you

I'm in love with you or he didn't say I love you yet at that time but you know I want to be your boyfriend and you know all that stuff um so yeah they had a past that's kind of what happened before we started dating and it just made me uncomfortable like that it started that it started out that way where I was like okay this can't continue like you can't just go on these road trips one-on-one with her I'm your girlfriend like I'm you're dating me and I'm not cool with these like yeah one-on-one hangouts as friends like I don't that's just bullshit to me um I think anyone listening right now would agree that that's a little shady or very shady so and I and I get hello from his perspective it's oh well we weren't official yet but he also was lying to me

about how I was the only woman in his life at that time and he wasn't involving himself with anyone else. And, you know, they spent the night together. It's not like, I think, you know, it was probably a, they, they had to hike in and camp and stay the night in a tent together, like the fuck, you know? So, um, moving forward, let's, I guess maybe talk about more red flags. Um, yeah, there's a lot. I think that medical one I meant, or that, that surgery I had earlier that I mentioned was probably, like, the worst one. I just started with it. So, he almost broke up with me because I didn't get vaccinated. Did I miss anything here? Hold on really quick. What did I say? I'm going to blanket you guys

with wisdom and insight insight or actual and I'm going to give you actual insights about uh relationships and and what I learned um let's see here oh do you want to know what happened when I found out that she went golfing with him behind my back this is where I called him and I was just honest that's all I only know how to be honest unlike him I was just fully like hey I thought it was weird how you're talking on the phone I thought you were acting off and it made me I just had a bad feeling in my stomach and I went on a little browse and discovered that instead of introducing me to your childhood friend at this golf course today who came to town instead of me just riding along in the golf cart and being your

girlfriend and you showing me around to your co-worker and your and your friend uh you took your friend your friend that's a girl you took this friend quote-unquote friend and she got to come along instead of me today and you didn't even include me you didn't even tell me she's gonna be there you know what the fuck so um he goes oh I don't have to tell you who I'm hanging out with it doesn't matter uh she's just a friend I know you don't like her so I didn't tell you I just figured that you know it's better to keep things to myself like that so that it doesn't piss you off and like he intentionally withheld the information that was true that was strategic um just like her filming my boyfriend was very calculated and strategic and and literally like

so like are you in high school that's so immature um it's like so obvious and desperate looking to me like oh look at me I'm with your boyfriend and of course I'm gonna find out I'm not a fucking uh, dipshit who is just like, my boyfriend's not cheating on me. Like I find everything out. I'm a cancer. Okay. I'm a cancer with a, I'm a rising Leo. That's why I'm a podcast host. I'm, uh, an entertainer. I'm, I want to be in front of people and talk and be, uh, be on display here. But, um, so yeah, he was strategic and withholding the information. So I talked to him and he kept saying it was so wrong it was like I understand Jacqueline I understand how this make made you feel um hurt I get from your perspective why this doesn't sit right with you

and why you're uncomfortable about her coming along and me not telling you but Jacqueline you will never understand my perspective and how I see her and she's just a friend she uh I'm not interested in her in any other way than just a good friend from San Diego and you don't have to worry there's nothing you need to worry about so you know he was trying to be like oh I get where you're coming from but nothing you say is going to change the fact or like you'll never understand my perspective and here's the thing I was I'll be honest this is because again I only know how to be honest I was enraged I was using language like lunch lady fat arms I was using language like this is like the I'm opposite of be kind right now I'm actually being absolute

this is not this is rude and um totally disrespectful and I'm just being honest about like I said every name in the book homewrecker town bicycle she's been ran through she's a like all the bad words I was enraged and um I think that's just like your visceral like woman like you know in love and war no one or no no one is more barbaric than a woman is especially in love and I am protective I'm it was like a visceral reaction I was just like you know like on the phone just saying every horrible thing about this person it's like it's like at the end of the day he fucked up he went behind my back um but I was also really pissed at her for what she did and how fucking mean it is that um and and it's very um evil in my opinion

to intentionally because she had to know she had to know that I'm his girlfriend like come on I'm not she stalked my shit all the time like she's I've seen her around my Instagram before it's just like I know she knows and um yeah here's what pissed me off is I was saying all these like lunch lady fat arms that's like a thing I said about her which is again kind of fucked up I'm just like envisioning I don't know why um like it's like this homewrecker fucking lunch lady uh yeah it was bad guys that's just realness I think when we're pissed and we're and we're hurt you say sometimes it's easy to go it's that was me just being shallow or that was me having a low moment obviously for good reason in my opinion um but what he did is he said Jacqueline that's

really disrespectful stop saying that about her stop saying that about her that's really disrespectful um stop um you know she's a good friend we were hanging out and it was just like me and the guys and her, and we were cracking jokes. And I think she's, you know, she's like fun to be around. She's a good personality. And she even said something like, Oh, this is so much better than being on a date, like being out on the golf course instead. And so much better than, you know, getting drinks or something like that. And I'm like, she thinks she's on a fucking date with you. Got a boyfriend, man, dude, whatever my boyfriend, I don't want to say his name. I'm like, come on. Like, she's not just one of the boys. And I don't like that energy. I'm not

into women that are just one of the boys they're you know always like involving themselves with men that are in serious committed relationships and they're always like on the outskirts like just hanging out with them like oh we're just a bunch of friends like I don't fucking do that I think it's um it's uh it's uh conniving and it's um it's not just friends you know what I mean There's always an intention. And I think this person has a deep rooted wound somewhere where they need that male validation and attention and they get a thrill off of getting someone else's man back or poaching another woman's man or because you guys, this is a wild story. I got to tell you something right now. That's going to blow your fucking mind about what I found out about this person. Um, holy shit. I just remembered. Holy shit. Just get ready. Okay. I recently became friends with this girl in San Diego that does personal training online

and we haven't met in person yet, but she's been helping me with my, um, workouts right now in my, um, glute program or I'm doing her glute program. And we, she's kind of like always checking in with me we're always talking like how's life what's up how's your stress like how's your you know how are your workouts going whatever and um I had uh we do these like voice notes back to each other and I was just honest there I'm like look this is what just went down um and you know just a girl friend being a girlfriend to another girlfriend she's like give me this girl's name and she goes what the fuck are you kidding me this same woman creeped on my man while we were dating and was like also like flaring up for me as a

bad energy conniving person um around my boyfriend and like what are the what are the odds that me and some random girl here in San Diego are relating and have we had the same experience with the same person um it's just like that was such a that gave me the that was like wow that's the confirmation I needed that this is like a pattern maybe this is like again like some sort of like wound or thing she has a she it's like I don't know what it is and I it's like at the end of the day empathy love like I want to lead with love I don't want to I I hope that you know eventually you evolve hopefully heal and learn and grow and you don't and you treat people with respect and you have even self-respect I think it's also like a self-respect things enough

self-respect to not um do these kinds of mean things and that are purposeful and um yeah so anyways that's what's wild is my my new trainer it's like we had the same experience with the same person with our boyfriends. And we bonded over that. I was like, what the fuck? So, um, yeah, the phone call. So that night he went out and got drinks. And this whole time I'm like, why am I not with you right now? I'm your girlfriend. This is a huge red flag. It's like, include me in your life. If I want a man to be like, Hey, I'm going golfing. I'm, I know you, you just, this is the thing. This is what broke my heart. Honestly, golf means a lot to me I've been really excited about getting into golf and I just went with him

uh for the first time that week and then a few days later he went behind my back and um the what the it's like that hurt I was like why wasn't I on the golf cart you know I I'm not good enough to play that course the one they went to is like literally well it's tory pines i'll just say it um and he even used that as a justification why he brought her not me he goes well she's she's uh jacqueline i don't want to make this sound i don't want you to think i know this is going to sound rude but she's a better golfer than you and so um and she's more experienced and so that's why i invited her is because she can play this course and you can't it's like well fucking a like i want a man to be

like oh my god I know you're so excited about golfing and you want to golf and I know you enjoy I've ridden along with him before on the golf cart I know you'd enjoy coming along and playing it or like to watch us play and it's like none of that happened and here's what's fucked I just thought of something hold on so when I talked to him on the phone after I found out that she went with him that night I'm like when's the last time you um saw her like when's the last or no no I said or I'm like when's the last time you talked to her and he goes oh well you know when you brought up one time that she kept stalking all your shit um back around like Thanksgiving um I told I told her about that how it made you like I said that you know hey like they talked about

the fact it made me uncomfortable she stopped she was like stalking my Instagram all the time so he went behind my back and like talked to her about that like what so so then he said that that's when they talked and then he and then I'm like when's the last time you saw her in person pregnant pause like I can only imagine how many calculations he was doing in his head how many rate how many moments in person with her he was erasing in his head that he's had recently that he's like okay it wasn't like two weeks ago okay oh it's when we climbed that mountain last year but it was like the way he said it was so like I think this is like what I should say because this is what she thinks is the last time I saw her in person like it just was so that you know fishy

and weird how he took that much time and then um I'm like so how did all this go down how did this golf uh golfing date whatever you want to call it get set up like who coordinated it and he goes oh well she reached out to me and said she wanted to do something and do something with me and I invited her that's cheating that's going behind my back coordinating a let's just call it what it is a little golf date with another woman and like sending messages and texting another woman and oh and his brain is just like friends guys they're it's like they're like, I know I said this earlier, it's, like, no, I just got the confirmation I needed that he always wanted her back, or she always was in love with him, or whatever, because it's, like,

they're literally, like, being too little, immature, mean, like, I keep saying the word calculated, people posting their, like they're a couple all over Coachella right now like you know what I mean like it was always gonna be her it was always that that was her evil plan she she got him back okay so yeah all this stuff about she's just a friend and we're you know he didn't think that was wrong because she's a friend and she she she messaged me to hang out so red flag that's what my grandma does if you're on the video right now my grandma does this whenever I talk to her about boy stuff if she's like red flag red flag um so speaking of red flags let's get into it um one time back in

you want to know the most romantic thing he did let's lighten this bitch up real quick he went to Greece um when we started dating in the summer last year um I should have I'm like I should have been there when I think about it I'm like why wasn't I with you going to Greece that seems like the most romantic place and we were dating for a couple months at that point but he didn't make it happen that's the thing about him it's like he never really included me in the travel like I wanted him to and like it was just always like him living his life and and doing whatever he wanted and then like here and there I'd get included but for the most part it was like I'm not really a part of his trips and stuff like the way I thought I would

want to as a girlfriend like I'm your woman like show me the world like let's go together let's go to Greece you know but the most romantic thing he did do I will say is one night he was watching the sunset in Greece and he called me and he you know it's beautiful there the sunsets there beautiful and he goes Jacqueline I want you to go over to your window right now and look at the sun he goes the sun is setting right now here where I am and I'm looking at it and you and I want you to look at the sun and we're both looking at the sun at the same time like you know what I mean like it's like oh we're both seeing the sun at the same time it's so romantic and and he goes Jacqueline I'm surrounded by these you know beautiful women here on vacation

in Greece I'm at the I'm going out with my he met all these like he met he went with like a group like a touring group all the all of his friends were new friends were going out to like the you know the clubs and stuff there and goes you know i'm surrounded by all these beautiful women and you know i because he would go he would go back to his hotel room and call me um before he went to bed and he's like this is confirmation that i just want you i don't want any of these other girls i'm not i don't i'm not interested in anyone else but you like i want you you um i wish you were here and all this stuff like i'm not this was like what i needed to like for him it was like oh when I'm out at a club you know by myself in Greece I don't care about any other one I don't

care about any other women but my girl my girlfriend back home basically so yeah that was like the most romantic thing he did and okay that was a lot of talk and you know how did it work out that's the thing about him is he just made me feel like I was his world um I felt like he really genuinely deeply to his core loved me. And, um, I'm literally like holding back tears right now because that's the sucky part. It's like, fuck, don't fall in love. Don't fall in love. That word gets thrown out, thrown around a little too much. I think these days too. And it's like, I felt it though. I felt, I thought it was, you know, I thought it was real. I thought he really cared about my feelings and would never hurt me and never thought he would cheat on me.

Um, so let's talk about red flags. So we were in Coronado at a, we were out at the, what's it called? The hotel Dell in Coronado having fancy drinks. His friends came to town and we're all sitting around the little outdoor fire pit. We're all looking, you know, fancy and we're watching the sunset and you know there's good lighting and somehow we got on the vaccine conversation and he's very pro-vaccine very pro like this is the way the truth like this is how this pandemic ends everyone gets vaccinated herd immunity or whatever and it goes away like he was very like like into the vaccine like he had only positive things to say about it and that's fine like I don't honestly I don't know anything about I'm I'm I'm not a scientist like I only I only

could uh make sense of it based off of the it's like the two sides this is what one side's saying and then this is what the other side's saying and what happened to me is I got very I got a little I was one of those people that was a little bit paranoid to be honest and I was expressing this to him while we were having drinks that I'm uncomfortable about getting vaccinated it kind of makes me scared. And, um, you know, I, I know that might seem irrational and stupid, but I'm just, I don't know what to do because I know that I'm going home for Christmas and I'm going to be around my elderly grandparents and my mom who had breast cancer, who, you know, is a, she's a higher risk, um, person with getting COVID. And so I was just in this like mode of like,

you know, I was just telling him how I felt about it. And he ramrodded down my throat, how much, like it got to the point where he was almost borderline yelling at me. And we had to like walk away from the table and we were walking and talking and it was very like heated over how you're going home for the holidays. And if you don't get vaccinated and your grandma comes to your house and you get COVID and you're not vaccinated, you're going to give a turn and And just like all that talk, all that chatter, we're all familiar with all those debates we've had with people. I don't know what side of the coin you're on with the vaccine, but it was just like intense. And just like, there was no, he, this is the thing about it.

I understand his perspective. I get it. But he never made me feel like, oh honey, baby, I get why you're nervous. Or I get why you're, you're, you know, I, I, I see, I hear you. I see I, I, like he never validated or never gave me that, um, that kind of like, I guess it's respect. It was kind of disrespectful. He just blew, he didn't care about my feelings. He didn't care about what I thought about it and what I was going through mentally about getting the vaccine.

And so that was, you know, in the fall and then, oh, I have a whole list guys. he never bought me a bouquet of flowers. He never went on a walk with me and Jimmy. What else could I air out right now? Yeah, he never bought me a bouquet of flowers. And was also just so tired all the time. Like always tired. I have a whole list. I'll send it to, not send it to you. I'm going to read some of it, I'm sure. Like red flags, I guess, that I let slide. So let's speed up to Christmas I get COVID I got one vaccine I didn't get two and that always pissed him off and he looked at me different he said this whole situation of you getting COVID over the holidays and putting your family at risk made made me look at you differently as a person and your judgment

is something that I don't know if I can um like put up with with things like this because in the future when it comes to you know decisions decision making like getting a vaccine and similar things like I don't know if I can trust your judgment and and what you're going to decide to do and so he literally asked for three weeks I think it took the only thing that well he asked for space and I don't like that because if a man needs space away from me to figure out whether or not he wants to be with me to figure out whether or not he can handle my judgment and how I handled the vaccine. If you need space, get the fuck out of my life. Like you're not, I don't, I want someone who's like, you're, I want you. I know I want you. And in the trenches, when things suck and when

we're fighting and when shit hits the fan and when you piss me off and when things get chaotic and, and messy between us I'm not gonna I'm not gonna cut you off and and do no communication for three weeks I'm gonna come to you and I'm gonna solve this I'm gonna I'm not gonna retreat I'm gonna solve I'm gonna move forward I'm gonna I'm gonna go to you even though it's hard I'm gonna work with you and let's like solve this together and and hold each other accountable and call each other out like hey dude it's uncalled for in my opinion that you this isn't a rational reaction I didn't think it was to um what happened with me getting COVID and only getting one vaccine this seems like a little bit um irrational and and you know I I wish we he he doesn't communicate

that way he needs space and he asked for space and I thought that was very it made me feel like shit it really made me feel like this man is unsure of me now because I got COVID guys this is the red flag I'm talking I'm bringing up a red flag right now like what the fuck Jacqueline get out of the relationship this is stupid like that's so fucking stupid I would never and this is the thing about COVID and the vaccine and everything I never gave a fuck what anyone else did everyone's got their own opinions on it everyone's doing their own thing with getting vaccinated bitching about the vaccine you know supporting what Biden's doing supporting what Trump's doing supporting what the media is doing or hating on the media or what the fuck what the fuck ever I didn't

everyone's doing their thing and I never was like oh because you made this choice I see you differently as a person and I cannot be friends with you or I can't I look at you differently now because here's the thing we're all fucking confused this thing was a no this COVID thing was a washing machine of misinformation constantly and and you know two sides constantly arguing and and so many um contradicting pieces of information and advice from even the medical community that made everyone go um that split people up and so of course if someone's really pro the vaccine and and into it and like my boyfriend was and everything like i get why they are that way i get why their brain comprehends the situation that way but if you know I don't look at my

boyfriend and think any less I mean it was a little bit like are you not critical thinking bud you know all right this isn't critical like he didn't do a lot of critical thinking in my opinion around uh COVID it was just very like whatever CNN is saying he was like cool we're in I'm into it Biden's right everything he says everything comes out of his he thinks Biden's gonna get re-elected that's a red flag in itself. He said that Biden's getting reelected because of how he's handling the Ukraine situation. What the fuck? And he was very serious about it. And no sarcasm. First of all, he has no sarcasm, doesn't understand humor. We were never going to work out because of that alone. Like I put up with a lot of, um, awkward silence after I cracked jokes and said sarcastic

remarks to him like he just doesn't he's not on the same wavelength so whatever um so he needed the weeks of space at that time the medical thing went down and basically that kind of rebonded the relationship because he had to step up as a man in that situation um even though he didn't he again didn't offer to even pay or support me and in the recovery process he just kind of literally dropped me off and left me high and dry um and that's he's so selfish like doesn't he generally doesn't give a fuck about especially women i don't think he he doesn't respect women the way he would talk about other women um was very off-putting especially towards his one of his so his sister i got i got to meet um i'll never forget how he popped a cork

over the fact that she needed help taking the garbage out. And instead of just getting up and helping her, he ramrodded down her throat how it's not his responsibility. He's a guest. He's all about like, I'm the guest in this house. I'm visiting you at your house. That's your garbage. And it was just, he was just being so immature about it. It's like, if you're a real man, go help your fucking sister haul this heavy garbage out and just get it over within two minutes instead it was like this whole shit storm of him beating her up and I'll never forget the way he yelled at her because I thought about fuck if that's what he's doing to his sister that's what he's gonna do to me okay and that just I'll let that slide and I did tell him

how it made me uncomfortable that night and I told him why and I told him how he knows about my past. He knows about, um, how my father cheated on my mother. I'm saying father, mother. I never say that. Um, with a past, a woman from his past, he knows about that. And he literally just did that to me. Um, and knowingly and, and intentionally and strategically. And, um, it wasn't just like happenstance. It was very, again, calculated. Um, but he was aware that this, you know, yelling is is hard for me it's triggering I'd hate to say triggering but I don't do yelling I don't do you coming at me with a screaming at me over things like this and I and I that makes me extremely uncomfortable and it really um hurts me um mentally to be yelled at because

I've been yelled at I mean I was in a very chaotic abusive screaming household growing up um you know so it wasn't all the time but when i did i just i hated how scared that made me as a kid and i just don't see myself in a relationship with a man that is a hothead and a screamer and he did have a inkling of this rage that was kind of always inside of him and here and there like he'd read some news on his laptop and he would just go so fucking stupid these stupid fucking republicans these stupid fucking people like he'd always bitch about republicans and stuff and it was just like very intense like angry and and just like road rage even it's just like this man is angry and that was also a red flag to me like he's not well he's not at peace inside if there's

something about him and I know man like I want my man to have some angst and some you know fire under his ass and I want him to have that like you know he's gonna pop he's gonna speak up and and be vocal and and aggressive is the word aggressive and protective uh you know he has that capability he's not just a soft like everything's fine and we're just all here to be peacemakers like I need a little bit of action um for my man so I kind of thought well you know he's got an edge he's a man that's just kind of like part of them it's testosterone or whatever you know I'll just like let it slide so yeah the way he yelled at his sister um was just like really, that was hard to watch. Um, she actually told me, uh, Hey girl,

this is how he treats women. And I've witnessed this many times. And I don't know if it was, I didn't like how she got involved with our relationship and was like saying that behind his back. It's just kind of like, I just met you. I don't even know you that well. I know you're his sister, but like, you know, it was a little awkward. I just didn't say much after, but she's like, he's gonna treat you this way, um, eventually, so, uh, just a heads up, girl, you know, just want you to just, you know, think about that, so, um, he made a hinge behind my back, so he made a hinge behind my back, I found out, and he denied it, um, and then he started crying, and then he was, like, so lost about like i don't know what i want i just want something that lights my world on fire

and i'm really lost right now with life and i've got so much going on with my job and you know what the future looks like and um this is like classic 30 year old shit he's 32 this year like just so like at a crossroads with everything career love life like what am i gonna do next so yeah he literally made a hinge behind my back after that medical procedure that literally was a hopefully once in a lifetime thing I'll have to go through and I remember that was after the three weeks like the few weeks of space after Christmas time when I got COVID um when I had the procedure and I remember when he dumped me off he said like see ya like as a joke like like because we were on a we were on a space break at that point even while I had that

procedure thing done. I was just like, then he made a hinge after that, like literally a week later. And I remember the night before, um, yeah, I was like helping him edit a photo and that's what he had on his fucking hinge. So he's always cheating on me, swear to God. And I've, I found hair too. I'm pretty sure it was this golf girl's hair in his bathroom one time. And like the last time I stayed over at his house this was like not even that like a couple weeks ago um I thought it was odd how he has a new bedroom he like moved bedrooms in his apartment house whatever and on the side of on my side where I slept there was like a water glass pair of shorts that were his were like just kind of like wadded up like why were your shorts on

over here and it just looked like like you don't sleep on the side there's like stuff on the window so first of all red flag is beds up against the the window no I'm kidding I mean he has a sweet view I'll give him that he has a sweet view that's why he moved into that bedroom but like it just it just felt like someone was here and it wasn't me and that's like the intuition thing that I ignored you know with the hair in the bathroom I remember one time I hadn't been in his place in a couple weeks and I was like that's a pretty light brown hair like that the hair is a little too light that doesn't look like my hair my hair's dark brown what the fuck so here I am in his bathroom and this is like at this point he's cheating on you girl get out break up you

know what I mean I understand I understand what I was letting slide and ignoring that's why I'm talking about it today I'm like having um I'm debriefing about the relationship basically with you right now, so I literally, I'm in his bathroom, like, plucking my dark brown hair out, and I'm, like, holding the two strands, and I'm, like, no way, no way, I know his roommate, first of all, his roommate, that's also, that's kind of a bitch thing, bitch, bitch thing of me to say, but two roommates at 32, I don't know, I have, that's maybe shallow, or whatever, but uh that was kind of annoying um but I'm like okay like his roommates girls don't come in his bathroom because it's his bathroom and it's just his and no one no one else comes to his bed

something this hair is like but it also looks strategically placed on the soap like this hair was like stuck on the soap the bar soap I'm like it's like someone purposely like put their like plucked their hair out like hey girl I'm here too my boyfriend is cheating on you here's my hair here's your little uh like flag of this is your flag uh that he's cheating on you so like that was a thing um yeah it's just all a mess you know and I think at the end of the day let's just like re uh sum things up real quick a little bit this relationship taught me a lot about myself. And that's what all relationships do. That's what

all hard life lessons, um, or experiences do is they, they teach you something about yourself. And when you, when I, I had a bad feeling about this person from the beginning of the relationship, i read energy through social media pretty well and i was like as persons um they're not a good person they're gonna i feel like you're gonna you're evil i just felt like this person's still into my boyfriend and i just had like a bad vibe about about it and then at the end of the day they're like together you know fucking at coachella right now you know and it's just like, next time I will, first of all, break up with someone that doesn't respect

or like needs to take space away from me for getting COVID. You know, all the red flags, like I think when the red flags come, I'm going to be better at paying attention to them, which is basically we all do. We all do this. We're blinded by love. We think they're going to change and that this is a one-time thing and it's not going to happen again but at the end of the day you can't change you can't change a person you can't fix them um he will always be a lying he's very he lies a lot to me now that I think about it all the lies he told me he always lie manipulate cheat just uh be deceptive go behind my back um manipulate me um he's gonna always that's just his character that's who he is he showed his true colors came out at the end and um I just can't

relate to that I can't relate to him I I'm not his person I am not um I would never ever put someone through that uh there's a a way to break up with someone you break up with someone and then you go date the person you don't cheat and then they find out and that you know it's a fucking mess. And I have enough self, um, I have enough self-respect and dignity or what's the word? My core values are so, um, set where I'm like that in my conscience, it's like for my conscience, like I could never do what he did. And even if I was the quote unquote other woman to be that like show-offy about your new man who just cheated on his girlfriend is so classless it is so classless it is so um cruel you know I have a heart I have a soul I'm

a person I I have feelings fuck I'm crying and yeah like I just can't relate to that kind of psychology and that kind of, um, human behavior. I, I, I don't know how I got involved with this man. Um, you know, and I think they're perfect for each other because they're both conniving, um, manipulative, uh, people that, um, you know, that they're, it just seems like a good fit, honestly. And I hope they, uh, live happily ever after, but, um, yeah like treat just be kind that's my thing on my laptop today like I just don't understand cheating I don't think I ever will I think again unfortunately it happens to so many of us and it's almost like you just expect it at certain points in a relationship

like oh probably getting cheated on and yeah social media doesn't help um what other red Flags. Should I tell you guys, like, the cons list? Am I crazy? Is this a crazy? Am I acting crazy? What's your take on this episode? Like, what's the public? So I said at the beginning, the public opinion would say, or people would be like, this is unhinged. You're crazy. You're airing out your relationship drama publicly about how your boyfriend cheated on you and you broke up like I think I'm doing rock solid I'm actually proud of this episode and I think it's a I feel very um proud of myself because I I staying with him

would be settling and period, end of story. And I'm not a woman who's going to settle. I'm not, I don't see myself with a dipshit loser cheater. Sorry. I'm saying I'm not being kind right now. I don't, I would never try to make that work. And, um, that's empowering. And I think that that's what life's all about. And I, you guys, this is the thing, you know, it's only been a short period of time out of when I found out that he cheated on me, and I've literally never been better, like, it's like this weight is off my shoulders, I feel light, I feel happy, I'm, I'm free, and I, and I'm like, this man was weighing my life down, and I didn't even realize that his energy was so draining, like, let me get into the, the list here, like, um,

I mean, I wrote, he always, he was always tired, low energy, not, I wrote, not fun and zesty. Never went on a walk with me and Jimmy, my world, my son, like never was like, hey, I know you, like I walked Jimmy twice a day. He works from home. I work from home. Hey babe, you know, let's do a little sunset walk with Jimmy and, you know, take him downtown tonight. Or like, let's go to the park with him. None of that ever happened. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't care. he didn't care about my life and my hobbies and what makes me happy and like he didn't participate in the things I enjoy he always dragged me into I was the sidecar girlfriend like I'm gonna he's in the motor he's on the motorcycle living his life and I'm in the sidecar and I'm just riding

along so whatever he's doing I'm coming along but it was never reciprocated and it just sucked because after the, like, this all went down, I'm, like, right, you know, I'm thinking of, I wrote things down, you know, and I'm, like, oh, my God, I don't want a man to be that absent from my life, and, and, like, not care, and the thing is, is I couldn't even tell him my moves, you know, towards the end, the last, like, month or so, I had some really exciting thing happen with work, and he goes, well, telling me this isn't going to change anything, like you always tell me all these things and you don't take action on it like I had an exciting idea about something for my job and he goes well stop telling me go do it

and I'm like yeah no shit you know shit right but I'm talking to you because I'm your girlfriend and I'm updating you about my life and I'm sharing with you something exciting and you just cut it off and go well go do something about it don't tell me like he didn't he didn't give a fuck he didn't care what was going on like he genuinely was just like and I think he was really hung up on I'm like what is it that I don't take action on like I've literally accomplished every fucking goal I've ever had for myself so far like I have a goal I make it happen I've never failed I mean I failed a lot all the time but when I want something I go get it and I just

proved that to myself last week like I just did something huge and elevated myself in my life and I'm doing that again next Monday something that I've been setting out to do for literally a decade I'm finally getting it took me 10 years to accomplish the goal but like eventually it happens and I take action and you can't call me a actionless dipshit doorknob who just doesn't do anything because what episode is this 3 12 3 11 and I work a full-time job and I have a fucking dog and I have my health and my mind together and I have a clean apartment and I pay my bills on my own and I like fuck you like that's how I feel I'm just like I'm a goddamn catch okay I am I have so much going on it's so much to offer and I've worked so hard to get to this place in life

and for him to say oh you don't take action on things or like I can't even share with him that kind of stuff he just doesn't give a fuck he's not a partner not a partner um he wasn't a morning person that kind of was annoying like I like to work out first thing in the morning he didn't like to work out he liked to sleep in because he was always tired ate so much ice cream um like I I love ice cream too but like he literally ate so much fucking ice cream at some point I'm like how do I tell him that I think eating a pint of ice cream every night of the fucking week is making you drained and tired and the fact you don't eat that well like you say you do but you could clean it up and tighten it

up and probably work out more like these are just like common non like um no bullshit um it's like this is, like, obvious, but, like, he was still, like, I'm always tired, I don't know why I'm always tired, it's, like, diet and exercise is the cure to that, and sleep, and he sucked, well, he, he biked a lot, but that's about it, um, I can't say some of these things because they're sexual sorry mom actually I already talked to you on the phone about that my mom knows how I how the sex life with us was she knows everything is that inappropriate I don't know my mom is so cool like shit man she's been through this she's like hey when I when your dad

cheated on me I said all the names in the book about the other woman I called her a homewrecker cunt slut whore I'm just she's like hey girl like I you know I know you're my daughter and whatever but like she was just relating to me and such a like it felt like wow mom thank god for you right now because she's like I've been through it girl I can you know this what you do this is what you go through so um some things that were red flags or cons the fact he thinks Biden's getting re-elected red flag um I would never hang out with his friends by myself that's a big thing for me first of all I would never want him to be the father of my children um those things went two separate ways sorry but you know number one for me is

when I'm dating a man it's like do I want my kids to be like you do I want my kids to be parented by you and like that's huge for me because I do want kids eventually so it's like whoever I'm dating it's like if I can't see you as a father to my kids it's not a good sign and um also his friends like when I think about it if I was ever one-on-one with his friends hanging out I would never choose them for my my own I wouldn't they didn't vibe with me I have a different personality type banter my the banter I like to have with people is a little more let's just say inappropriate unprofessional less quote-unquote like he not that there's anything wrong with it but he was friends with a lot of like left brain engineered type very

like smart which is fine it's all fine like kind of nerdy dorky and it's not that it's like oh I'm judging that personality type it just isn't my fucking vibe like I like people that can shoot the shit and banter and like be quick-witted with me and and you know shoot the shit like I just never felt like when I was with his friends I could like shoot the shit like that it was just always kind of like dorky and like awkward and like the stupid jokes that were all like they weren't even funny and like I just felt like it didn't fit in so that's huge for me with friendships with who you're dating like that's kind of you got to think about that like if these are his life friends like you're gonna be around them all the time and you're gonna make sure you

enjoy hanging out with them so I wrote that down I probably should wrap this up I don't know how long this is going um yeah the way he yelled at his sister he always oh he acts like a little bitch when he gets hurt and stubs his toe yeah one time he was in my kitchen cooking me dinner and like something fell on the floor and hit his foot and he goes he just said it was like you know the ick thing like this gave me the ick he was just like ow that hurt oh it was just like just say fuck dude just say fuck get it over with it hurt fuck oh fuck oh fuck my toe bum boom done it was just like so like i'm hurt oh my god and he like took like 30 seconds to like rub his toe it's like holy shit um that just wasn't very uh manly in my opinion I'm so mean I mean no he's

an asshole he cheated on me so and went behind my back um doesn't like big dog oh that's not really a big one for me yeah he didn't like big dogs he's like oh I like small dogs I don't like big dogs bad music taste when i was in his car he would play his like house music only and just like that's it uh he wasn't into like hard rap and like um country music he hates country he's like it's too he doesn't like america okay this man doesn't even like this fucking country i swear to god and he's um he's uh first generation what do you call it austrian german or whatever like he has his parents are you know from other countries and they're which is it's like fine there's nothing wrong with that but the way he would talk about this country was always like

uh he like hated country music because of what it talked about and how like he thinks everything's like rednecky and like don't like he he has a such a high opinion of himself um this is where i'm talking to you i don't am i being kind right now i gotta keep myself on track am i being kind be kind jacqueline be kind um he has such a high opinion of himself and regards any blue collar like republican uh person that's like driving a truck living in louisiana listening to country music as a literal like like scum like useless human being like he just talks so much shit about like your average like American you know who's just working a blue-collar job and like you know and and he's all high and proper and high and mighty with his east coast upbringing and his

foreign background and his you know wealthy fucking family or whatever and just seems so like I'm he seems so pretentious and like above everyone and he was like he's always like proper about everything it's all about optics and this is me and my perfect life and look at all these adventures I go on and look at all these mountains I climb and all these countries I've been to I've been to 50 countries and my whole family travels to every country in the world and we're so I have multiple passports and I'm just so cultured and worldly and it's all about like look at me I have such a full life and it's just like all about he yeah like he's just like I'm and that energy came off and I just ignored it it was just so in my face and I ignored it like fuck I mean do I do

anything like that now I'm checking in like do I post where it's like look at me I mean I'm a chick I'm allowed to post thirst traps on Instagram I'm allowed to post a selfie okay sit the fuck down but he was he was always vocal about how you have one life and you want to make the most out of it and do as much as possible and go on as many many adventures as possible and explore as much as possible and just like make live life to the max the fullest and like go go go do do he never seemed satisfied and he never seemed content with just like like being still he's always like planning the next thing doing the next thing and it's just like wishing and wanting like I want to buy a house but I can't afford one or like I want to

in California which obviously like it's you know it's rough out there right now for certain people but um yeah I was wanting to buy things all the time for himself and like he never fucking bought me a bouquet of flowers never just the little things like yeah i'm trying to think if did he ever do anything for me that was like extra special i mean took me to a pretty fan one i went on one fancy dinner date with him to uh for valentine's day um i wear a really pretty red dress and i look so fucking hot and that was a good because i like that's the thing i love being wine to dine i love going to restaurants, um, and this man doesn't do fancy restaurants, he doesn't wine and dine, he doesn't

buy flowers, he doesn't buy me chocolates, he doesn't take care of me after surgery, uh, he doesn't, uh, give a fuck about my feelings, and he is all about himself, and his perfect little full adventurous life, and that's it, that's who he is, and his true colors came out, um, He cheated on me. He lied to me. I wish I told him this. God, I wish I just like, what a dumb ass. Hold on.

So when I called him out on the phone about the whole golf with the girl, just his friend girl, that he's now romantically fully fucking in love with a Coachella or whatever. When I called him out about that, he goes, I'm sick and tired of these things that these things keep happening they keep happening and and um you know blah blah and I'm like look dude you created this if you were honest with me if you said it like it is this wouldn't happen I was I I need total brutal honesty and if it's if even if it's hey Jacqueline look this is gonna break your heart. Okay. I think I'm still in love with her. Okay. I think I've always, I think I'm, I'm, I, I need to break up with you. I I'm picking her or whatever, or something like that.

Um, but just as simple as simple, like, just tell me, Hey, she's coming golfing with me. That's all I wanted. Obviously it wouldn't sit right with me. Obviously I'd put up a little bit of a fight about it um because of who she is and what I know about her um and him in the past but like I wish he said that or just ended the relationship you don't even need to tell me about your feelings towards her your real feelings because he blanketed everything as oh she's just a friend I will never put up that bullshit ever again um it's just you like do you know fucking do you know you think I'm that stupid like that's how I'm like You literally are so, you don't know who I am.

Like, you know, nothing about me. I'm, I have the strongest intuition. I've like, it's sick how much my intuition is right. Like I, I know everything. Like there's nothing I don't like, I, I have a six, I have a sense of people's energy and their intentions and I can read anyone in any room at any time. I swear I should work for the FBI or whatever. And I have, I just read people well.

and that's what I caught on to with this other person I was like bad energy bad intentions with my boyfriend I just see how this is gonna end and it fucking ended exactly how I thought it might have um and yeah he was never honest with me and yeah but when he said I'm sick of these I'm sick and tired of these when these things keep happening and just like it's never me it's never you coming to me with an issue it's me coming to you with an issue you're the issue like you're I mean what do what part so I'm always asking myself like where am I playing a role in this and where am I going wrong I think a lot of people out there would be like hey you're crazy you're keeping up with who he's hanging out with on Instagram stalking and you're following his moves and stuff

and it's like you're part of the problem it's like no well I don't fucking know it's just like at the end of the day, all I asked was, all I asked of him was honesty and respect. He disrespected me. That was a huge thing too. It was just, um, not even, yeah, just not even having the, he had no respect for me. Um, doesn't care about me. Doesn't care about women. Doesn't even care about this new woman or who this past woman I know he's um it's all out of spite right now it's all um it feels like a rush because it is you know when people cheat and when people have affairs when people do things behind people's backs they have to hide it it adds an element of like a thrill to it and it's a rush and it feels like you're more the emotions become more intense

and you think you're in love with them and we're meant to be and all this shit and it's like that's gonna crash and burn and karma's a bitch and you know I wish always I'm always wishing people well you know uh has nothing to do with me at the end of the day and um I can't relate to that kind of, uh, those kinds of people. I don't want to be involved with those kinds of people. And God, another thing is like, Oh my God, I keep thinking of stuff. I was expressing to him on the phone when I was, you know, that night when I found out that I was like, look, I'm hearing you say she's a friend, but that just doesn't sit right with me because I know I know about your past and he'd always deny anything a romantic or this and

intimate and we never you know well he'd always deny all that like oh we're just friends like hey buddy you know I just didn't sit right with me and I'm like look I don't I cannot and is this a deep insecurity thing on my end I think so I don't I don't know who's a psychologist out there just someone like explain is this all about like insecurity and jealousy is that what all this is about I mean there's an element of that to it of course but I'm with you buddy my feelings like please respect me and my feelings you know you're my boyfriend so what he did on the phone and this really set me off is he goes I don't do ultimatums I'm gonna he basically when I said like, Hey, I don't feel comfortable with you hanging out with her and being friends with

her. Um, because of what she did, it was just very obvious. She was like showing off my boyfriend and she's like being little, like immature, like high school, like no more like elementary school girl. Like, Hey, you know, um, I was like, I don't like that energy. She's got, she's got ill intentions there or something. She's up to no good. And I don't feel comfortable with you hanging out with her. And I said that to him and he goes, well, um, I don't know what to say, jacqueline i don't do ultimatums and um i'm gonna continue being friends with her and so that was basically saying like well i'm saying i don't want you to be friends i i don't feel comfortable or i said to him like hey look bring me along like i could have been on the golf cart too if you're

all just friends and you're a group of friends golfing like include me why is it such a big deal if i'm there you know and she's there you know what i mean so i was like okay at least like do that like can I meet this person and obviously it's not gonna go well but um basically what he was telling me is like my friendship that's now romantic as of Coachella um is like what the fuck they're it's like all in your face like look we're together now we're coming out as you know boyfriend girlfriend and we're at Coachella and we're just so in love and we're dancing and we're on Coachella weekend too which is like kind of dorky anyways to be at the second weekend anyways um so yeah like oh I'm gonna continue it's like her friendship with me

is I'm I'm that's more important to me than your feelings and like how and and yeah he like didn't give a fuck how I felt about it like Jacqueline I don't know what to tell you like I'm gonna stay friends with her but like you know I know you feel this way but I'm not gonna stop being friends with her just because you feel that way and it's like there's no compromise it's so selfish there's no empathy there's no understanding there's no like hey I see like no sane person would do that and just kind of brush my feelings off no like kind-hearted good person would do that and he just didn't give a fuck I'm gonna still be friends with her I'm allowed to go golfing with her we're friends we're friends it's like

now you're fucking you know so it all came full circle that's my cheating story that's um what happened I can't say that I've had this kind of thing exactly happen before um you know I've had suspicions of cheating I guess I've been cheated on before yeah I have but this one hurt a lot because I loved this man and you know things were going really well up until this point and it just sucks it just fucking sucks and so kind of like part of why I'm podcasting a part today and part of why I'm um like debriefing the relationship is just to have a sense of like it's to like come to a close here and to like button it up and wrap a bow around it and send it off and say okay

not for me um I kind of detailed out all the things that I ignored I you know the red flags the things I let slide that now that I've talked it out and I've shared it with you it's like no shit Jacqueline like you're not supposed to be together and you know good for you for standing up for yourself and breaking up with them and not allowing that kind of toxic behavior into your life anymore. Um, yeah. So, um, what am I going to do next? What am I going to do next? That's the question. Jacqueline is single. I am dating. I'm going to start dating again. I I'm in such a, this is what I was telling my mom on the phone. I'm like, I'm so rock solid I've I've worked my shit out through and through like I'm in such a good

place in life and at this stage in my 20s where I'm like I don't need to do like oh I just broke up with my year my boyfriend for a year I need to just do me right now be single live my best life and like be single single I don't I'm no I want to date because I I'm in such a like a solid place where I'm, like, I don't need to go do that, like, me time self, like, work, I don't need to read self-help books, and, like, I've done it all, like, I'm in such a, yeah, like, a good position to meet someone again, so I plan on, you know, continuing my social outings with my girlfriends that I've been doing this year so far, which has really enriched my life outside of my relationship, and then I'm going to date date and date and date and just keep moving forward um

because things are going really well I don't think this is gonna break me um it just sucks in the moment I think because the initial like shock of um I thought you loved me and how could you hurt me like this and how could you go behind my back and do this and how could you be so public already about this other person and you're together and it's just like that sucks but um if a if a woman if a woman could steal my man if a woman is capable of stealing my man away from me i wouldn't want him anyways i would not want a man is that kind of what i'm thinking like

yeah he definitely has um deep insecurity about himself and he i think i was too much for him and too successful for him and too outspoken for him probably and too cool for him he's not cool i'm fucking cool i know i have it going on and he was boring as fuck um again jacqueline be kind like it is what it is like personality clash we had a personality um you know they weren't a good fit and i just wish it's like wow i never thought you'd be the type of person to do this to me you never think that And it's always the ones you, is it, is not the phrase, like, it's always the people you don't think are going to do it and they do it. It's like, holy shit. And that's why I'm like, it's almost like I'm laughing. Cause I'm like, I thought you, I always said you're a good one. That's why I love you. Like, you're just such a good guy. You're such a good man. You would never hurt me. And I, and I know deeply in my soul that you are, he would say, he said it on the phone call, Jacqueline. And, um, you know, I, I only want you and, and I don't want to see anyone else.

I don't want to have to get to know anyone else. I don't want to have to date anyone else. I don't want to have to, I just want you, you, you. This is literally when I call them out for cheating on me. It's just like, fuck. Like, you know, dummy sound now, like now you're doing the opposite, buddy. I never want to see him or talk to him again. I'm definitely pissed, obviously.

And I have a right to be, and it's all justified. but um yeah I'm just like it's it's like laughable and like I would never oh my god like to do what he's doing now is so classless and loser-y to me and just he's such a tool like you're just frolicking around Coachella now with the girl you always told me not to worry about and like you know I'm just her friend and it's just like because I mean he lied to me he's like I'm going to Coachella with my boys no you're not so fuck it um I'm gonna be better off for this for sure I already feel like I'm better off for it and um life goes on never settle

like know your worth set boundaries don't ignore red flags never date someone who doesn't take care of you after surgery or thinks they need to break up because you got COVID just don't date assholes, you know what, he's, to a T, he's an asshole, a selfish asshole, and, and, you know, he said that on the phone to me, oh my god, it was laughable, I, I had a, like, that was, like, a good one, Jacqueline, and I was really popping off, you know, I think we were talking until, like, two in the morning, and he goes, Jacqueline, he's, like, you can call me selfish asshole, you, you know, he's, like, Jacqueline, I know, I know you want to call me

a selfish asshole, I know you do, and you can tell me that, you can say it, say it, you can say it right now, and I'm like, I don't have to, you just said it about yourself, because he knows, he knows that's his brand, he knows that's his personal brand, his character, selfish, only cares about himself and his life, and he's an asshole, and meaning, meaning that, Jacqueline, be kind, come what I'm saying asshole right now and I'm on the be kind episode here fuck um he doesn't treat people with or women especially with um respect and loyalty and um dignity and he's very evil in that way and just doesn't care is this socio what's the thing narcissism maybe he's a narcissist. I don't know. You know, that's a red flag. His fucking background on his phone

and his huge work computer is himself. Jacqueline, duh. It's literally him in Greece on his phone, I think still, or no, that used to be, no, it's his background on his work computer. It's like him, like in the mountains. It's just like, I don't know. Guys, he's also an athlete, professional athlete I'm like I'm not giving any specific details but he was a professional athlete a former professional athlete who in his position was like on his own which is like you're always about you you you it's like you and and everyone and he's he's never faced adversity in his life like I was telling him about some of the hard things I went through as a kid couldn't relate to any of it nothing wrong with that it's just like he doesn't have that I know of like everything's

good in his life and he's just like living for himself and it's just like over it done bye that was a good year of learning a lot about myself and growing as a person through it all and it could not have come at a better time I'm like actually genuinely so proud of myself and happy about where I'm at in life right now and I'm doing so well and I think maybe it's a good sign the fact that I'm not crumbling and like in a ball sobbing and like crippled by this I think it's in a way like telling me that that's telling me that not that I have I have moments you know I've had that like those initial moments of absolute fucking gut-wrenching uh you know terror not terror what's the word um sadness and

and heartbreak about it all but the fact I've stayed up and I'm positive and like after this episode I'm like already stoked about what I'm gonna do for the rest of the day and I'm just like moving forward and I'm not um super hung up on it I think that means that um it wasn't that strong of a love and i am not heartbroken like i'd expect to be heartbroken by someone who was you know um the love of my life like i i kept thinking he was and yeah what a fucking roller coaster honestly and again like back to what i said earlier of the odds of like my new friend trainer and this other person like having the same thing happen with the same woman like with her boyfriend like it's just that's kind of why I'm like fuck I need to share

this story and I don't know if you got anything out of it I don't know what probably just you got the tea you got the tea you got the juice you got the details and that's you know I listen to podcasts all the time and sometimes it's just like the gossip's interesting it's fun to listen to and you know, um, I don't, I, I'm not worried about this, to be honest about like what this makes me look like as a person. I think it's, um, it's just, it's whatever you, you know, everything can be, you can turn anything into something positive just by how you frame it. Right. So like this could in some in some people's brains this episode was a fucking uh crazy overshare like what was the thing I said earlier um reckless um unhinged uh yeah they might have an opinion

that that's kind of what this was and I'm just I'm just rolling with it and I'm reminding myself that I am always going to stay true to who I am. I'm always going to be authentic. I'm always going to be honest with my audience. I'm never going to sugarcoat anything or make things sound better than they are in my life. And I think with moments like this, this is like a teachable moment for not only myself,

but maybe listening. And I think it's worth sharing. So thank you so much for tuning in today. I appreciate you being here. Um, go ahead and subscribe to my podcast wherever you're listening right now. And if you want to support the show, head over to patreon.com slash TJMS and it's $5 a month. If you want to support me and my little podcasting career, I'm building out for myself right now. Go check it out.

That's patreon.com slash TJMS. follow me on instagram at jocelyn rowe and send me a dm what do you think about this episode um slide in um keep it pg please um be kind uh don't cheat uh don't cheat be a good person be kind but especially don't cheat ever all right that's it love you guys talk to you next week bye