The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 319- Smells Like Fish

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

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What's up guys, it's episode 319. Welcome back to the show. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. Hi. So right off the bat, I'm going to set the scene because this is an audio only episode and you can't see me right now. I'm in my kitchen. It's a Tuesday night at 7 38 PM. This episode needs to be, needs to be done by eight Oh five because I'm cooking salmon and I'm standing. Well, I didn't say this, but I'm, did I say I'm standing? Does it matter?

you can't see me. I'm playing with my belly button ring. A lot's going on. Jimmy's breathing down my neck. My golden retriever's breathing down my neck because he didn't get to play today and he's like hustling me right now to play and to go run, but I need to get this episode out. So that's happening. I'm eating, I've been eating cherry tomatoes compulsively for the last hour because I've been doing computer work and I sat and snacked while I did it. And there might be, uh I might belch uh often on this fucking episode also I'm drinking a green juice uh it's nighttime usually I drink coffee when I record but I'm drinking a green juice because it's Tuesday and I'm trying to you know keep it tight um what else is fucking what else is going on I'm not

gonna swear uh okay first off if you're new hi welcome back wait just let the silence let's just be, be uncomfortable, Jacqueline, get comfortable with the silence instead of having to talk so fast. Okay. Hi, if you're new, welcome to the show. Uh, please hit the subscribe button wherever you're listening right now. Uh, I'm on Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts and make sure to review the show while you're there. Uh, follow me on Instagram at Jacqueline Monroe and TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe I also have a YouTube channel if you want to watch the podcast normally this is a video and an audio podcast go over to YouTube and subscribe to my YouTube channel if you want to hang out with me face to face okay what else is going on

oh patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show it's five dollars a month that's my uh it's like my monthly tip jar it's like a way to tip me for entertaining you for an hour every week okay go check it out patreon.com slash tjms so um okay so I mentioned the scene it's the end of the day okay it's a Tuesday night uh I need to get this out I need to get this done by 8 0 5 because I'm cooking salmon it's gonna fucking burn or I'm gonna have to take it out while I'm recording knowing me this is gonna be a three-hour episode because I have zero self-control when I press record and also I have a lot to report on I just went on two trips I went on a trip to Vegas and I went on a trip to Washington so I'm going to read this episode's going to be

all about those two trips I'm going to recap tell you what I got up to um but yeah it's I'm having I've had a very full day and the day it's like I haven't eaten dinner yet and I'm so hungry for this salmon right now and I'm like okay get the episode done then chill but uh content comes first all right so okay um last episode I was on my way to Vegas and it was it was a road trip episode me and my boyfriend Corey were side by side driving to Vegas um from San Diego and you know, he was part of the, part of the episode and I introduced him to the world publicly as my boy, I came out as a, we publicly announced our relationship. What am I saying? Um, yeah, he, he recorded the episode with me in the car. It was super fun. Um, and yeah,

the last we talked, we were on our way to Vegas and we mentioned that we were going there because he had a golfing tournament and he played in that. And then that's why we went, oh my God, this is interesting. Okay. I honestly don't have, I'm probably, okay. I can't remember. Honestly, I'm like, what, what funny stories could I tell right now? Because like, literally it was like, we went to Vegas. We went to know, we went, okay. We drove into Vegas. We went to our hotel. Oh, I'll tell you stories I just remembered we go to the hotel we stay at Caesars or we stayed at Caesars and it looked like the goddamn airport like I have never seen a hotel lobby so full and chaotic and like it like the line to check into the room was was like the airport and it was so

obnoxious and so that was kind of like my first our first night we had when we checked in and yeah it's funny we're still saying to each other oh I bet those people are still in line because like what we did because we're smart is we uh maneuvered our way around the the just it's like it's it's like the whole like follow the herd thing everyone was like following the herd and we're like we're gonna go against the herd right now and we found a loophole in the system and we fucking went into some side there was like a side room where you could there were there were little um what are they called like kiosks it's like self-checkout at fucking vons um there were little computers you could check in on that no well people are using them but it

wasn't as backed up so we like we like snuck our way into that kind of cut the line or whatever and got into our room within like 15 minutes of showing up in that lobby full of people and yeah it was crazy I mean what day did we get in a Sunday night it was nuts like I've never seen a lobby so full of people checking into their hotel room like I don't and I've also never stayed at Caesar's so maybe that's a regular thing but uh anyways we uh get the room keys eventually after like 15 minutes drag our bags up to the 37th floor we were room 3763 I still remember I don't know if that's but does is that I mean we're out of there now uh I'm like is that safe like to tell you yeah obviously so fucking we go to the hotel room and wait what did I wear

to Nobu I'm trying to remember like I unpack or I unzip my suitcase because we only had like a little bit of time to go to our um to get to our reservation at Nobu and um I unzip my suitcase and and I have never scrambled so quickly to put on put an outfit together and the thing is I didn't plan outfits for this trip I just threw a bunch of shit in my bag and said okay I have enough here to make something happen but it was not that was not a good idea because when we had to get ready for dinner like I don't even know what I ended up wearing like I think I wore like all black or no I wore jeans and a black top with sparkly heels and none of it made sense but he said I look good and anyways it doesn't matter like I'm not trying to the thing is I'll say this okay I

have never been to Vegas with them like I haven't gone to Vegas um I've okay the only time I've ever gone to Vegas I was single and I was trying to impress right and this trip was so different I'm not trying to go out go out and show out and look hot every single time I step outside my hotel room right so I don't know it was kind of like it was so different and so much chiller um like the experience than what I I guess I'm used to when I go to Vegas Vegas but um yeah so we go to Nobu first off we um or the first thing we saw I'm I'm going if you can't tell the pace is fast because I am currently once again cooking salmon uh if you want to know my recipe it's very simple I just sprinkle a little salt and pep I do a little uh what else do I put on it dill dried dill I

don't have fresh dill I usually I always do dry dill and then lemon uh if I had butter I'd put butter on top because I think that makes it way better um but yeah I'm the pace is quick because I'm hungry for this goddamn salmon and I am like okay I need to get this episode out because it's fucking Tuesday I usually post Sunday and that's a whole thing that's a whole other issue which is like if you want to know the backstory why it's Tuesday and this episode's going out Tuesday instead of fucking Sunday like I committed to and you know as you all know I always say I post on Sundays right where's the podcast Jacqueline you owe us a podcast you know basically I'm going through a transition in my life that is exponentially uh sucking up my time

what I mean is I'm going I I'm going through a career change and things are different with my schedule now that I'm not used to and I have to really be even more disciplined about having my doing my passion here and my podcast on the side of that so this doesn't pay the bills as you know if you want to support my podcasting career and get me out of the day job I'm kidding I love my job okay I didn't mean to say that I'm gonna get fired on fucking day two probably they all want to know what my podcast is and they want me to send them the link and now I'm fucking nervous because they're going to listen to this and go what if you want to support my side hustle and my podcasting fucking passion uh patreon.com slash tjms go check it out five

dollars a month uh support your local podcast host here okay uh it's a tough economy you know I'm not shy about asking for money I mean what the fuck is going on if you're even listening I don't expect you to i mean no way like i'm i'm very aware of like the financial crisis this world is facing right now or this fucking economy is facing i don't know how what the terminology is but like don't feel bad you know if you don't if you can't afford five five dollars a month i'm i'm i i get it you know uh just put one less put one less gallon of gas in your car okay and shove and throw it my way that's like well the other day i drove by a shell and it was like 5.89 i'm like oh gas is cheap or i'm like oh gas got really cheap and it's like because i'm used to seeing

seven dollars that's fucked let's go brandon you know what i'm saying um should i talk about the trump raid or the or the mar-a-lago fucking raid right now should I switch this Vegas subject to that um I'll never forget the last week my ex and I were dating I don't know why I bring him up on every goddamn podcast but I've literally brought you through the entire journey of that relationship up until this point so whatever I remember the last week we were dating and we went golfing and on the way to golfing he um pulled a let's go Brandon sticker off the gas pump and gave it to me because he did he isn't supportive of that or it doesn't he doesn't think that's funny at all

or uh anything so he like ripped it off like aggressively and gave it to me and I and uh I thought I mean I kept that I still have the sticker okay uh anyways so oh um what was I saying about donating to your local podcast as charity fucking patreon Vegas Nobu outfits um yeah let's just tell you what happened I'll just tell you what happened at Nobu I don't know how I got here holy shit um I like these audio only episodes I feel less insecure like I'm not I'm just free because I'm not on camera and I don't know why the camera makes me more like maybe it clams me up I don't know do you guys notice a difference on this episode or is it because it's 7 51 p.m on a Tuesday night while I'm cooking dinner and I'm

rushing because I'm hungry and I want to eat this goddamn salmon okay is it that um I've been up since five okay if you want to know about my day I'll get back to the Nobu and the Vegas and the golfing and the when I went to Washington and and surprised my grandparents for their 84th and 83rd birthday party I'll get to that okay it's coming but already lost my train of thought um got up at five. Okay. If I was listening to myself right now and I'm new and I was new to them and I was tuning in for the first time, I feel so fucking annoying. I'm not, okay. Um, is I feel annoying. I feel like there's a really popular podcast, like an extremely popular, like top of the charts, top of the world podcast I occasionally listen to and I feel like that's the the host on that

episode's energy is how I feel right I feel like I'm matching that energy and I know when I listen to it I can't stand it past five minutes and I so anyways I'll calm it down okay so I woke up at five and I went to the gym and I met my boyfriend there and I saw him and he was doing chest and I was doing I decided to do Stairmaster and um I went to Starbucks after and I got an iced Americano and I came home and it was okay why am I telling you my day right now is this this is a I I I looked it up one time is this called like hyperactive I think I have when I podcast it makes me realize how when I'm purging my my thoughts and I'm putting them into words on my show here I'm it I have so many I'm it's a hyper I have like a hyperactive brain I think

that's a thing I don't want to diagnose myself right now but is this like 80 like is 80 something is this 80 80 I don't know whatever I just get excited something about turning on the microphone really gets me going. And, uh, it's like creative. I have to come up with shit on the fly to keep you entertained. Cause I'm doing this alone and it's like an adrenaline rush. It's like, what am I going to say next? You know? And I always have to think about what the topic is, what tangent I'm on, where I'm going, when's this going to wrap, you know, is the salmon almost done? Like, does it need two more minutes? I also have to consider that my dog also hasn't played today. He hasn't ran he hasn't shit so that's another thing I have to keep track of right now um but anyways okay so

yeah I had a great day anyways I worked out this morning uh saw my boyfriend I don't know what I why did I say that I don't remember um so we go to Nobu I've never been at it was at Caesars and uh in my black top jeans and stupid sparkly heels that didn't go together it's like literally like Levi's and a black like evening blouse crop top thing that like looked fancy but my jeans were really casual and like cut at the bottom and then really glittery heels and I had gold jewelry on and my heels were silver like it was a fucking mess but anyways I walk into seat or I walk into Nobu and I saw Chris Voss it was so sick I saw him he was standing in the lot like in the what's the front of the restaurant called the waiting area the foyer the fucking

standing room anyways Chris Voss was standing there I think he was interacting with his fans or something I don't think he knew these people but I saw him in the flesh it was so surreal like he's the type of person who looks like no one I guess maybe it's because he's like super well known and like pretty pretty famous like he he's him right like he he looks like him and what am I saying like he just stood out and I think I was just so starstruck by Chris Voss and it was so cool to see him at Nobu like right when we walked in and anyway so that was like cool um like I'm not the type of person to get starstruck but for some reason he really fucking was like um he's the he's the negotiator guy am I getting that right why do I feel like I'm fumbling that

name right now it's not Rich Roll it's Chris Voss why am I thinking that's a different guy Chris Voss is that even his name I don't have a fact checker on this oh yeah CEO of the world's top negotiate negotiation coaching firm the Wall Street Journal best-selling author of never split the difference yeah he's a fucking g i don't even follow him i need to follow him now um did he have a he had a podcast right called like how to negotiate anything anyways that was super cool we walk into nobu we saw chris voss uh we had to wait like 15 for our table so we sat and drank two mojitos um you know we wanted something refreshing because we oh my god i forgot to tell you here's the ADD thing I'm already on a new tangent um I don't is that see now it's like

when you talk and say anything like that you have to be like oh uh you have to be like that's insensitive to or that's gonna offend the people that actually have ADD like literally if you have a fucking iPhone you have ADD so whatever I'm sorry if you're not if you're offended grow up um anyways we go to a fucking Jimmy John's on the way in when we showed up at Vegas and that was sick because I had I hadn't had Jimmy John since college and um yeah I think that's all we did though we went to the hotel checked into that crazy lobby or at the at the um the like yeah we checked in and uh got a room and then changed and went to Nobu okay so uh we got sat at the bar drank two mojitos finally got seated at a beautiful table with like really

nice cushy uh it was like a booth but like it was shaped like a bean like the table was shaped kind of like a bean and the booth was it was really dark in there and there were there were these like lanterns that kind of look like jellyfish or something or like a clam slash jellyfish they were white it was really pretty um I've seen all the bougie pictures of Nobu all over Instagram for years but I've never been so this is like a moment for me this is like a very exciting day um and we ordered it all I mean we ordered oh my god I'll I just remembered the dish I have to recreate fuck okay um so we got uh my boyfriend's gonna kill me I can't remember what we ate So I ordered the salmon with the crispy broccoli, or the, excuse me, the crispy spinach.

He ordered the, fuck, albacore or something, or no, the swordfish, or no, what's the fish he always gets? It's like the sea bass. He ordered the tempura sea bass, lightly breaded sea bass. we got cauliflower we got a roll we got like an albacore roll we got or something else I don't know but this salmon let me get to the salmon I ordered it and I and it was wild Alaskan salmon I think king salmon and I have never I mean I grew up eating salmon up in the northwest obviously but like this salmon changed my life it changed his life we're eating it we're just like shitting

our pants as like we're so taken back by the salmon and the sauce on it this sauce was so good it was like we kept it at our table to dip other shit in it was a butter ponzu sauce we asked I had to ask ask the waiter what the name of the sauce was I'll get to that I'll get to why I really needed to know what the name of the sauce was so anyways we had the salmon perfectly cooked with the crispy spinach. It was almost like air fried spinach on top. And then it had really thinly shaved garlic in it. Super simple, but so fucking good. And, um, you know, my boyfriend Corey's pretty, he's a goofy, goofy motherfucker, motherfucker like myself. And, um, he goes, he's like, look, like, how did he say it? Like, I wish he was here to say it. Cause I can't say

it as good as him but like essentially he's like uh if you want a proposal and then what did he say I will marry you if you he goes I will propose and marry you in like the next three months if you figure out how to make this sauce if you can recreate this sauce in this dish I will marry you like and I got and he was like and so we joke about it or we joked about the whole trip because like I kept looking up YouTube videos on how to make this sauce I was looking up recipes so I ended up asking the waiter what it was and anyway it's kind of a funny thing between us and it's like we're just stupid little uh not stupid we're like just disgustingly um in it to win it with each other what am I saying I don't know how to talk about I mean guys I don't know how to I don't

want to gush about my boyfriend but it's like it's hard not to but like yeah it was kind of funny he's like he's like the way he said it though is so funny he's like if you want if you want me to because like I I mean I want that so like of course I'm going to figure out how to make this sauce and I actually bought um rice wine vinegar it's like one of the ingredients I need um to make the sauce but anyway so we ate we ate at Nobu the next morning we had an early start actually we golfed that day fuck so we get to vegas midday he golfs 18 holes before his tournament the next day i rode on the cart the whole time with him and um yeah and then we went to jimmy john's we went to jimmy john's then we golfed and then we went to the hotel then we went

to no okay that was day one that was sunday tuesday or holy shit i need water um where's my green juice actually like drink that and say we're four minutes away until I have to take the salmon out by the way so um okay let me stay focused so yeah we golfed we went to Spanish Trails Country Club right in Vegas that's where it was it was beautiful uh and I just love being out there. You know, I, I love, as you all know, I'm learning how to golf. So like the more I can be around golf, uh, you know, even if I'm not playing, like watching, I learned so much, so much from watching him and he's a pro golfer. So like he knows what the fuck he's doing. And yeah. So, um, or was a pro golfer. I don't know. He's a pro golfer. Yeah, he is. I don't want to fuck

that up. Cause I feel like someone listening to me like, no, he's not. He used to be, or he'll say that and be mad. He won't be mad at me for saying that. He's probably be mad at me more for backtracking like I am now and getting into a spiral about fucking if he's a pro golfer. Um, fuck. So Tuesday or Monday morning after Sunday, cause Sunday night we came in, um, Monday morning early wake up for the golf tournament uh we got a coffee it's kind of misty out but like super warm because it's Vegas it's like muggy a little bit um I sat or I stood by the putting area and watched him putt while he warmed up and then I got the golf cart and, um, yeah, he golfed and that was it. I mean, he did really well. I think

he was like top 10 or some shit. I don't remember, but, um, that was the reason we went. He golfed. I was his caddy. Oh yeah. There was this bitchy old lady there. So, um, I can't wait oh my god I forgot this we were so the guy he was golfing with in the tournament his dad was his caddy and I was Corey's caddy so like the dad and I were talking the whole time and um it was we had a bonding moment the guy's name was Michael and um his kid and we had this we had this bonding moment over Tim Dillon and he's like I don't know how the subject came up because I told his dad I have a podcast and then I was asking what podcast he likes or he he told me we love Tim Dillon they're patrons like they're obsessed with Tim Dillon and I know it was like

such a cool moment because like I don't know why that felt like such a like like there's no no fucking way you two like or like you know about the same person and you're like you are obsessed with the same person it was like you're both fangirling over him or fanboying whatever um fan what's the gender neutral way to be a fan boy or I don't know it's not even a thing fanning we were fanning over Tim Dillon while he was golfing that was a cool moment um and what the fuck am I saying he uh so they got they golfed and then we ate afterwards we had at a Salmon Caesar at the country club like restaurant place with him and his best friend back from college he played golf with he was also in the tournament um we sat and caught up with him

and I was like sitting there like thinking this is the coolest fucking like it was he was such a cool guy and such a like like sometimes you meet new people and they're like kind of hard to read or they're a little phony or they're a little um like like not very they're not very normal like what's the word normal or real or whatever like this guy we met his best his friend from college was so cool and like humble and just so like fun to talk to I don't know I was just like sitting there thinking that while we were talking to him and you know that doesn't happen all the time like um so that was a highlight I guess salmon caesar fucking chili diet cokes out the ass. They gave us a fucking pitcher of diet Coke and I got to take the salmon out. Holy fuck.

Speaking of salmon Caesars. Sorry, Jim. He's scared. Okay. Intermission. Seventh inning stretch. Everybody, everybody, if you're sitting down right now, please stand up, touch your toes, stretch it out. If you're on the treadmill right now, crank that bitch up to 12 or that's uh that's the incline you need to be at right now um jesus so yeah and then on monday night we oh wait we went to a show it was a really quick trip maybe i'll just make this podcast the vegas recap and not the washington fuck okay no i have to do both because the washington stories like just as i don't know it just happened over the weekend so like i need to tell it right gotta stay gotta keep the stories fresh and like current you know so

fuck am I still being annoying I kind of feel annoying am I being annoying whatever um I'm standing like my teacher Mrs. Haley from fifth grade right now she used to like tuck her ass under and like lean back and spread her legs to like support herself she wasn't even like a fat lady to support like she wasn't doing that to like you know how like fat people stand she wasn't doing that she was like fit but she like clenched her ass cheeks tucked them under and like put her legs out to the side a little bit and kind of lean back and like just stood like that while she taught class and that's how I'm standing right now and um yeah it's kind of comfy so Elon Musk was on an elk pod or the full sun podcast I just remember that uh Trump's house was raided by the FBI I

could talk about that. What else is going on? Um, so Monday night was the big, the big night because we went to see a Cirque du Soleil show at Mandalay Bay called The One. And it's all about Michael Jackson. It's like a tribute show to Michael Jackson. Like the whole thing is top to bottom Michael Jackson. Okay. So my boyfriend really hyped this up. I'll just call him Corey. just just know that when I say Corey it's my boyfriend okay Corey was like hyping this show up for like a month he got his front row tickets but I don't know what that was about because when we got there we had like the third row but he got his third row tickets he was hyping this show up he said he's seen it a couple times and this show was like the best show he's ever seen

in his life he's made all of his friends and family see it and they all say the same thing so i had really high expectations about this michael jackson show so monday night after golfing we ate dinner at oh my god i literally ate cheese with a spoon out of a fondue pretzel pretzel fondue uh dish for dinner all right i had a fucking filet we had crispy cauliflower pretzel fondue and like what else do we eat some ceviche and that cheese goddamn like you put a you put hot melted cheese in front of me i'm eating it all i'm clear i'm like scraping the bowl of it i i ate it like it was soup the steaming hot cheese you're supposed to dip the pretzel and I was, I ate it like soup. And that was the pre Michael Jackson show, uh, meal. So

we show up to the venue at Mandalay Bay. It was kind of sweet. Like when we walked in, I had like a flashback to the first time I went to Vegas with my family back in high school. And, um, we stayed at Mandalay Bay and it was so crazy to be like, Oh my God, now I'm with you. And we're here like all these years later. And I remember back then they were promoting this Michael Jackson show I saw it all over the walls like they had a bunch of posters and yeah I don't know it was like a full circle moment and yeah so we walk in we get our seats and like his energy shifted when he walked in like he it was just like he got it was like he was so excited and just so like quiet almost and like taking every little thing and he saw like

he's singing again for the first time or whatever um or seeing it for the first time and i was like doing the same thing i guess because i was like okay he thinks this is the coolest show in the world this changes fucking life so i i'm like really paying attention to the surroundings and it was sick i don't know if i'm supposed to disclose what the show like wait a minute they're very strict about filming in there um can i even talk about it fuck um basically it's Circus LA. They put on a great show. It's fucking deluxe. Okay. There's people spinning off the ceiling, climbing the walls, um, and they're disappearing. They're hovering. They're jumping off like the rafters into the audience. There's lights that are shooting at your face and fucking

snow falling. At one point there was snow falling on us. Um, like incredible actors and actresses And these dancers were dancing like Michael Jackson. They were wearing the most lavish costumes I've ever seen. Some of them had fucking feathers on them. Somehow they tied in feathers to the Michael Jackson experience. Like, or they made that work. What was my favorite part about the show? Like there was this act.

So there was this, the first thing you see when you sit down are, you see these like, this group of young, I think they're supposed to be like teenage. teenagers but they're all obviously like 30 year olds you see these like this little crew of four people the shit ton of stage makeup on which was like my favorite thing because you could totally tell they weren't part of the crowd but they were like trying to be part of the crowd and like sitting down and standing off to the side like they were getting their seats um but i don't know why i like loved that part of the show um and there's this one guy with a backpack on with a beanie and you know what this made me realize or watching them act made me realize that like our reality don't worry I'm not getting too deep um I won't I won't do it but like

I feel like reality and like our surroundings and interacting with people like strangers in public Like I feel like it's, it's like dulled down or because of social media and our phones and how much we're like staring at our phones and how beautiful things on social media look or looks every day. I feel like reality looks dull and like the way people are seems dull sometimes. And like, I don't know when I saw these kids doing their acting shit with their fucking stage makeup on and their, their movements, like they're every time they take a fucking step it's they have so much flair and like it's so bold so the person like the 400th row in the

back can see them you know that's like I remember when I was younger and I acted like you have to project your voice like you're screaming to or you're talking to the person in the back of the the auditorium and every time you move it's like bigger and and more um like with more energy and I don't know when I was watching them like why doesn't this like if everyone acted like that it'd be so fun. I don't know. I was just like into it. And I thought that one kid with the backpack, he was my favorite with the beanie. Um, cause his face facial expressions were so like cartoony and like the way he, his eyes got really big and just like, and he, when he looks scared, he looks so, it was perfect. Like his, his, I guess that's what actors are good at.

Like their facial expressions, but I don't know. Um, there was a hologram of Michael Jackson. I'll I'll tease that or I'll say that I don't even know like why do I feel like the fucking FBI is gonna come raid my apartment for um publicly disclosing information about a Circus LA show there was a hologram of Michael Jackson dancing that made me almost tear up I was pretty close to tearing up it was it was cool um so yeah that was the show um incredible like you can't go wrong with a Cirque du Soleil show I've seen one before called Ka K-A and that one was sick it was a totally different type of show but um yeah Cirque du Soleil they uh do a big and every detail is uh detailed as fuck so highly recommend the one at Mandalay Bay if you're

looking for a Vegas show to go see um did I walk out of the auditor did I walk out of the show uh saying this is the best show I've ever seen in my life no and I felt insecure about telling my boyfriend that like when he was checking in with me like did you like it like was that it wasn't that amazing like oh my god like I was kind of like underwhelmed and I'll only the only reason I say that is because I was expecting a like an impersonator of Michael Jackson and not a bunch of like it was an entire cast of people doing Michael Jackson type stuff on the stage the whole time and not like a singular Michael Jackson impersonating like you know what I mean and it was still incredible I feel like that's what was missing for me but other than that like

it was one of the best shows I've ever seen in my life so I but not the best one and he also said like he saw it a while ago and he said he wasn't he didn't do it for him this time like it did the first time so anyways um what did we do that night oh I had a fucking breakdown um oh shit fuck me okay so we um he wanted to play like three card poker or some shit and I he wanted me to sit the table next to him while he gambled and I was like okay so I give her I give the lady my ID and um it's expired and I had a fucking meltdown over it and I was really mad and it's a whole thing but um yeah like I mean I I was I think he was like fine and I was I was like in my head about it and really like mad at myself about it like my fucking ID's expired I'm in Vegas like

I need my ID to like sit and go to these casinos and like sit at gambling tables and shit and like what the like I don't know I was like spiraling for no reason really and um yeah so that happened um how did that night end I think we ate peanut M&Ms and scrolled social media next to each other in bed and like passed out or wait was it peanut M&Ms he gave me like two I'm like what the fuck I wanted like 10 and he he like threw them at me like he was feeding a bird that's why i have abs and he doesn't okay so um he'll shoot me for saying that i can't even say that can't even mention guns or shooting or even joking about that fuck me it's 2022 jockeling keep it

keep it fucking what's the terminology for when you keep it um professional no not professional you keep it socially um safe or you keep it what's the word you guys dm me the fucking word i'm looking for right now i can't do it um so that was vegas we drive home the next day road trip back what did we eat? Wait, what did we eat? I don't know why I'm thinking we ate something good. I think we got some egg bites at Starbucks. Oh yeah. And oh wait, we had Chipotle like for lunch, but I got to tell you, I'm on this coffee, coffee kick with him, this Starbucks iced coffee kick with him and it's got to stop like it I think we mentioned it together on the last episode during

our road trip episode like there are our order and I'm it's bad because like I'm craving it I'm addicted I know I'm addicted to it because like every morning I usually drink black coffee but now every morning I want to go get this Starbucks drink like my body's like a chemically like addicted to it so what it is if you didn't listen the last episode it's uh it's okay let me just say how I tell the lady at the speak loudspeaker thing the ordering booth the fucking drive-thru window hi can I get a triple blonde shot on ice in a venti cup with salted cold foam on top. I just fucked up. Hi, can I get a triple blonde shot on ice and a grande cup with salted cold foam on top? It's grande, not a venti. If you get a venti,

you get a quad shot. Yeah. So anyways, that's our order. And like sometimes, what does he call it? He calls it a mocha frappalaca. He's like, can we get a mocha frappalaca? Like it'll be a, So I think like a week ago, it was like a Sunday or something. Actually, I don't know what day it was, but in the morning, he's like, you want to go get a mocha? He like wants it now in the mornings like me. And I mean, it's just a little foam on top. It's not going to kill you, but like, it's so sweet because they put the sugar caramel

shit on it. And I don't know if it's that healthy to spike your insulin, you know, upon waking up like that. but, um, I mean, we're guys, I lost 20. I gained 25 pounds in the pandemic. Actually, I think it was, we calculated it. I told him my highest weight and he did the math. He's like, no, that was 30. I think it was 30 pounds. And I took it all off and I haven't dieted or really done anything this whole time to take that weight off. And like, I've drank these kinds of Starbucks drinks the whole time. And yeah, so like you can, you can like, you can like keep it tight and incorporate

the shit you want to eat and like still lose the LBs that you want to lose so like anyways um I was gonna cook him chili tonight fuck me okay so he really wants chili me saying like two episodes ago I love cooking for a man I am such a homemaker the reason I like having a boyfriend is because I love cooking for him and like me right now 8 22 p.m just cook myself salmon. Um, I had to tell him I couldn't hang tonight cause I had a podcast and that really derailed him emotionally. But, um, but now me at 8 22 PM, like cooking salmon for myself and like bitching about how I have to cook them. I don't have to cook them turkey chili, but like he wants it. And now would be the, tonight would be the night to do it. So,

um fuck okay so we got we road trip home I'm really proud of his golfing abilities like it's like fun to date someone who's good at golf or like or like pro at it so um yeah really turns me on if you know what I'm saying I don't know what it is about guys that golf but like fucking goddamn you know um the weight here's what it is the way I'm doing the stance right now the way like when they're putting they like when they're waiting to uh to putt and they like stand they all all men stand like this when they're putting they do one leg crossed in front of the other hand on the hip with their like their putter in their hand like like a cane kind of and they just stand there and watch with

their head tilted down and they're always wearing hats and it's like the hat's like shadowing their eyes and you can just see their jawline and like that is the hottest shit I've ever for no reason that is the hottest shit a man like I've ever seen a man do and um yeah so shout out guys who golf um I don't know why I'm saying this right now I feel cheesy corny obnoxious annoying so like when did we go to washington oh my god we had to board the dogs he is a bulldog i have a golden retriever he's an english bulldog i'll uh adjust socks you know like they're the cutest ones um yeah we had to board them um and then like we had a one day turnover before or to like get ready to go on our next

trip to Washington so what was that day even I don't even know what I did I think I took Jimmy to the beach did a bunch of errands um repacked for Washington and then like the next or that night or like the next night we got on a plane and flew home to my family so like Washington why did we go what's going on let's get into it um by the way if you're liking this episode right now if you're really like vibing with me if you're really like enjoying your time and this hangout and you feel like uh you know if you're feeling generous like you know I don't know how to ask people for their fucking money if you're feeling like that and you want this show to go on for all of time uh please go over to patreon.com

slash tjms and sign up to be a patron um yeah go check it out patreon.com slash tjms it's just a way to donate and to your local podcast so there's no it's i don't want to sell myself short but you're not getting a fucking extra episode you're not getting vlogs you're oh like behind the scenes footage of me like you're not getting pics you're not getting any of that shit on my patreon okay I used to do that uh mama can't do it all right now okay I'm I cannot believe I just referred to myself as mama um it's just a a way to donate or just not why do I have to say donate Jesus oh my god yesterday in front of Target I got stopped and now I'm supporting a i'm donating i donated to a charity in ecuador now i'm i'm really excited about it i'm support

i have a i'm sponsoring a kid in ecuador this little girl which is cool so um yeah patreon.com slash tjms if you want to like oh my god what if i just took the patron money and and like sent it her way am I trying too hard right now my is this a reach am I trying to sound how am I oh my god this is a train wreck um I will personally sponsor this child in Ecuador with my $30 a month and I don't know why I can join that with my Patreon donation of $5 a month that I'm asking you to do. Okay. Let me get to the Washington story. I don't like this. Okay. So, um, what just happened? Fuck. Okay. So about a month ago, my mom calls me and she's like, Hey, you're coming home. We're surprising your grandparents for their birthday party.

Everyone's flying home. Your brother's flying home. The whole family's coming to town to surprise them. And I was like, fuck. Yeah. Like I haven't been home since Christmas. Like, of course I'm gonna go so we booked the flights we line it up boom like a day after we're in Vegas we fly to Washington Corey meets the entire family like that that was a big deal like he met literally everyone in my family all at once for this surprise birthday party and yeah like we fly so let me see what happened on the plane um god I had a break I had another breakdown at the airport why did I get weird what was the topic um I don't know I'm like learning a lot about myself like every time I date someone new like you learn about yourself while you're dating someone and I'm like

things are like coming up where I'm like I don't think I need to work on that or like that's something I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing or that's a way I'm acting that I shouldn't be you know what I mean like it's I think it's a healthy thing that I'm addressing it I'm like aware of it and I'm not acting like I'm perfect you know but something I don't remember but something happened before our flight I don't remember I really don't remember yeah I'm not fuck it was something stupid I think what happened is sometimes I get in my head or I'll get in like a like a um something might like slightly set me off and I can't snap out of it unless I literally take a nap or like remove myself from the scene or like the person you know what I mean like I

have to just like I have to snap I can't just like instantly snap out of it sometimes I can depends on what it is but for some reason I couldn't snap this snap out of this plus I was getting all nervous for this flight I don't know why but I get flight anxiety now not like bad but like I get weird about takeoff and like getting on the plane. And so it was like all, it was like a whole thing, but we got on the plane, had a couple of cocktails as he's, he's like obsessed with saying cocktails. That's like his favorite word. Cocktails have a couple of cocktails. So we had canned wine, um, complimentary canned wine. Cause we were in row eight or some shit. I don't know how it works. I didn't book my ticket. Shout out mom. She was like, she got me my fucking,

she got both of our tickets jesus christ um so that was very lovely of her to do but we got her complimentary wines and our goddamn pretzels and sat there and played a game on his iphone the whole time and i we were fine like we nothing bad between us happened it was me it was me being me and having a little stupid moment but um so what happened on the plane I don't know like I swear to god all we fucking do is laugh and I can't remember what we laugh about we're just laughing non-stop it's the best um never been happier truly never been happier uh it's incredible uh yeah laughter is so I didn't understand how important it was for me to laugh or have a partner that makes me laugh to the point where like I'm in pain you know or I'm

like snotting or like sharting from like that level that level of laughter okay yeah we had a great flight um my mom picks us up like the next day I think that night oh yeah we went to the house smelled like fish my sister's bodybuilding she's cooking a lot of or she's prepping for a bodybuilding competition she's cooking so much goddamn fish and like she I think she cooked fish that night like I walk in it's like fish and I'm like I'm not sleeping here first of all it's like too hot um I'm such a goddamn this mom if you're listening sorry but like we walked in and I was like I just we we need to stay at a hotel so I booked a hotel I think we planned that before we got there actually but that like that like reconfirmed or like re um like staying at the

or planning but what am I saying walking in I was just like guys literally I went vegan back in college when I lived with my sister while she was doing her bodybuilding stuff I literally went vegan because I had the smell of fish in the apartment like got to me so bad that I was like I just can't do meat like I can't see me I don't want to think about me I don't want to smell it like then literally the next day I went vegan am I insane probably a little bit but you're entertained if you're still listening if you've made it this far you are locked the fuck into my chaotic um stories i'm telling on this episode so yeah we got a we got a hotel we stayed at the what did we stay at the hampton

some like three-star hotel in malvern and washington my hometown it was great um little musty when we walked in the room little musty um but it was highly air conditioned which was nice um what am I saying it's kind of tough because like out where we live like it's it's Washington normally it's freezing it's it's not warm but like in the summer in August that house gets hot so like anyways um and I'm like a grown-ass woman like I don't need to I can stay a hotel with my boyfriend when we come to town like that's not weird that's like what we should like shouldn't we do that I don't know so and it was like I wanted our experience when he came home to be different than anyone else I've taken home okay and I've never stayed a hotel I've always

like made the guy stay in my fucking high school bedroom and it's just like I didn't want to do that to him okay so goddamn um the next day we go to Cabela's for like five fucking hours we buy I got a Carhartt hoodie he got some um apparel for himself we looked at knives we looked at guns we looked at all the hunting and fishing shit and he was so excited to go to Cabela's because there isn't a Cabela's in in uh California apparently and like that's literally how we started our day we got our mocha chocolaca at fucking Starbucks our iced coffee drink thing we drove straight to Cabela's and I don't even know what we did after that we like site we he had he's never been to my hometown he wanted to see where I came from so we like toured my hometown a little bit drove around

I showed him my high school I showed him like I don't know just the town oh yeah we met up with my sister had some lunch um I think that was after Cabela's we saw my brother he came to town he met my brother um what did we do that night I wait hold on I don't remember we like oh did we go to dinner did we eat dinner at the house I don't know wait did we all I know okay all I'll say is this my grandparents surprise party was like the reason to go to this on this trip and that's like that was Saturday um oh this is such a long podcast holy shit is this over fuck sorry I'm I'm I'm hitting a wall guys this salmon's getting cold

fuck me I really can I have a snack right now well who's gonna get mad if I eat a cherry tomato I'm feeling I'm feeling uh lightheaded there you go enjoy if you haven't been so funny i always say this tune out take your headphones off eating cherry tomatoes on the microphone fuck god damn i'm putting in like 18 hour 18 hour days that's how i feel right now holy shit it's 8 39 30 10 i need to get to bed by and at least i want to shoot for 10

because i want to go to the gym tomorrow at five but fuck okay jesus i need to also upload this do some other shit it so I blacked out on Friday night basically I okay that's the story I was trying to tell so we on I don't know like we went and got oysters at Taylor shellfish farms we what did we do after oysters we went to La Conner one of the small towns like next to Mount Vernon and we walked around and like did we eat I don't I'm always like what did we eat I don't even remember I can't remember what we ate um anyways we walked around the corner and looked at all the cute little stores and then decided like oh wait we went into this store what did he buy he bought a

knife yeah he had to buy it so he went to Cabela's to get a knife and like the lady couldn't find the box the one he wanted was the display it wasn't they didn't have inventory of it other than the one that was in the in the display case and anyways they couldn't find the box that it went in so we couldn't get the knife so we ended up buying a knife like this other one at the little gift store thing we went to in the connor and um yeah i don't know why i'm saying this that's what we did before i had like literally nine fucking beers or some shit so then fuck we're like i wasn't really hungry neither was he or whatever like we're just like let's go grab a drink the tavern the le connor tavern and i thought it'd be cool to go there because i grew up going there

eating fish and chips by the water um my parents would take us there sometimes for dinner um there's like a restaurant part where you can like it's not in the bar you know what i mean family-friendly location for, away from the weirdos, the local weirdos, so, guys, I'm so, I'm, like, foaming at the mouth, I'm so, like, tired and, and worn out right now, and God, I'm not complaining, but this is what separates the boys from the men right here, what I'm doing, okay, this is what separates the fucking winners from the losers, okay, I'm pushing through, I'm getting episode 319 done, uh, at the 11th hour, because I made a commitment that I do a pod that I pump a podcast out once a week and I I'm committing to it okay

consistency I've been consistent I podcast now for a year and a half or almost two years and I've consistently pumped out an episode 319 times now so I'm used to this sometimes this happens. Um, so anyways, we go to the tavern and, um, we want it. He's like, do you, what do you have? What light beers do you have on tap? And I'm like, okay, okay. Yeah. I'm like feeling like a light beer. Um, I was staring at a Corona across from me and I kind of just wanted that, but like we ended up getting something on the, um, off or what is it on the tap off the tap? I don't know, whatever. She pulled us, pulled us. Is that the term pulled us a light beer in a glass or pulled club tired guys I'm sorry I'm so sorry okay we drank a light beer it was really good really

refreshing and we sat there and talked he really liked the tavern he it was like really old and rustic you know and um it was cool because he's like you know you you know like oh you grew up coming here now I'm here you know one of those moments or whatever stupid thing we said I don't know we were just talking and then um for some reason I was drinking these things really fast so I had I had two okay then I get a call from my brother he's in town and I don't know what it is about my brother but whenever I see him I'm like let's get fucked up let's party right so like literally literally um he comes to the tavern to hang with us and grab a drink and you know he shows up he orders something like he had like one ipa and for some reason i don't know i don't know

where what happened where the time went but i'm pretty sure cory said oh you had i think it was seven like okay seven beers and then uh i think cory had like four i don't even know how that happened guys i'm not like that i don't do that i don't like i don't drink like that i don't know what was happening I think it was because it tasted so good it was really refreshing and I was drinking it like fucking water I think I just needed to drink water because I was thirsty but yeah seven beers later uh so my brother uh what did we even talk about at the tavern I think we got some shrimp I think we got some fried shrimp it was really fucking good um I also lost my wallet but like it I left it in my mom's car and it wasn't because I was drinking

or anything I just but I just remember that um yeah we just chilled and he met my brother and we talked about like stocks and I don't even know what we talked about real estate stocks life things okay we're you know just chilling and um we ended up driving back to my mom's house and then uh at the pool we went and sat by the pool wine started being poured and I didn't have I was good you know I didn't need any but like I was sipping on it okay like I was sipping Corey's wine and I don't know how much I had I just drank some wine guys I'm literally like why am I telling you guys this chain of events before I blacked out and had another goddamn come apart episode at Rite Aid or CVS in front of Corey while he was drunk. Fuck. That was like three strikes

or out this trip. Like I fucked, I fucked up three times in front of him or I, I, he caught me slipping three times and I, I don't know why, like he, it wasn't even that bad, but I think I'm just so like, I'm better than that. Like I'm so above this kind of behavior, especially like in a new relationship the walls are coming or the the the I think it's because I'm so comfortable with him I don't know how that works but anyways um then we go to our favorite Mexican actually our least favorite Mexican we have a love-hate relationship with this Mexican restaurant we go there i don't even remember what i ordered oh my god i think i got an i got an enchilada the problem was guys this was the problem i didn't eat i like literally had like a couple

shrimp at that tavern and then like a couple fries and then when we went to get enchiladas i was more focused on my gaudium margarita that i ordered than the food in front of me so i didn't really eat my dinner um and then I ended up ordering a second margarita at that table and then that's when all the that's when everything fell apart and like literally I haven't blacked out since college I don't know how the night ended why is this podcast now about me over drinking and blacking out I don't know I don't know if I feel comfortable disclosing this information but I just did it and I'm not gonna edit this and cut it out because that's what I do here like I literally I'm just like hey I'm your friend I'm picking up the phone I'm talking to you I'm like just

telling you about my life and what's going on that's the format of the show there isn't a I'm not sitting here trying to like educate you on the how to find the circumference of a circle like I'm not you know it's just a it's an audio vlog it's all about me and my life and what's going on and that's all it's ever going to be I mean I I do pepper in the current events the news and the society um the rants about society here and there but for the most part it's like I get on here and tell stories about my life okay so I blacked out in my hometown because I saw my brother and I was like let's fucking go it was kind of like seeing him made me I don't know what it was I don't know what it was just something I'm not blaming him

I'm responsible for my own actions but like something his like presence just makes me want to get fucked up it's because whenever we're together and we're having the best time of our lives we're like in Vegas in the middle it's like in a club vibing and like drinking and so like that's what I want to do when I see him I guess like so it's like a subconscious thing at this point so anyways um we had to go we had to go to Rite Aid to get Neosporin and I can't tell you why but it's really fucking funny um also we needed neosporin and I needed iodine he needed me Corey needed neosporin I needed iodine and I'm not gonna tell anyone why but we fucking needed it okay um so but yeah I think what happened was we walked in

I don't remember anything after Rite Aid that night let's just say that that's how I know I blacked out like the next morning he tells me oh yeah like we showered and did this and that the other thing and like I don't even remember showering like it was weird um so but in Rite Aid I like took he had his arm around me while we were walking in and I like pulled it off of him I guess and like went really fast I like was like I don't know I was like being like ooh like get off me or something like that to him and I obviously don't want to be like like I didn't I don't know we all act psycho when we drink sometimes right girls hey where my hot bitches at we're fucking crazy I'm no different than all of y'all so you know what

own it that's the thing like I'm not proud of these some of these moments I have but like sometimes in life you just gotta fucking own it like you know what I'm this way I'm not perfect I fucked up I acted out I was being stupid you gotta own it square up to it face it be aware of it and you gotta you can't be stubborn and act like nothing happened and you're perfect like those are the worst people to be around like i'm i'm pretty i i feel like that's maturity right like as i've gotten older i've learned that the best thing you can do when you um are in any kind of a confrontational situation or you piss someone off or you make them feel bad is admit you're wrong like asap like instantly like don't pretend like you didn't do anything wrong or don't

backtrack and go no no no or justify it or or say oh I was I I I said fuck you because of this or like you said you said this to me and so that I'm justified for acting this way like no you know when you're being a little shit or you're being a little psycho and just fucking own up to it because that's going to make the other person feel a thousand percent better and because nothing's worse than when someone like blames it on you like the other person or like acts like they don't have a problem or they didn't do something wrong like shut the fuck up like like you're literally like taught right from wrong when you're two like that you know what's up like you know how to be a good person and so yeah I I think that's um something healthy about or our relationship or like what I

bring to the relationship even though i'm ashamed of my fucking behavior that evening blacking out and like acting out like that and fucking right aid but so anyways um vegas golf trip michael jackson show no boo uh washington i didn't even talk about the birthday oh my god we're not we're at the we're at the evening of drinking. We're not even at the birthday yet. That was Friday. I'm not even on Saturday at the birthday. Oh my God. I don't know if I have it in me. I'm so fucking hungry. The salmon is cold. So like basically all my aunts show up, uncles, cousins, uh, great aunt an uncle um my grandparents friends show up everyone's there right for my grandparents 84th

and 83rd birthday party and it was so fucking beautiful my grandpa drove in in his ford like i don't even know what it is it's like a ford model it's like 1929 model t kind of but like it's newer than that i think i don't know he like rolled in to the backyard drove on the lawn in that honked the horn and got out with his cane it was really cute and my grandma showed up and she was wearing the cutest little shirt and she was being so funny and uh yeah we like my aunt she went she went crabbing in her boat and she brought like 50 crab to the party and we all ate crab and we cooked oysters on the barbecue that's what we picked Corey and I picked up oysters that was probably one of the highlights from the Washington trip um for for him to see how how

that's done or where that place is because it's it's pretty cool like going out to the oyster beds and it's called Taylor Shellfish Farms it's been around for I guess a super long time but um yeah we had oysters we had tons of just like hors d'oeuvres and oh my god it was so good um yeah like it was so amazing to see family like I I obviously made a decision when I moved to California um that or I was aware that this decision is going to affect how often I get to see my family and so um it was so like I felt so full after that and I still I feel like that filled me up for a long time just seeing everyone and talking to everyone and especially my cousins Cause I don't get to hang with them that much.

And even if we didn't hang that long, like it's, um, it meant so much just to like be in their presence. And especially around my grandparents, cause we all grew up going to their house and going to their Christmas tree farm and, and like, you know, going camping with them. And here we all, here we are all grown up, still with them, still all together. And, um, don't get emotional, Jacqueline, Jesus Christ. And so, yeah, that was incredible. Like, um, I'm really happy or grateful that I still have my two grandparents, um, and all of my family around me and all of them are loving and supportive and, um, just, yeah, it was, it was sweet. just and also being at home like nothing makes me feel more like at peace it's like crazy because

like sometimes i hate going home because it's washington the weather sucks but like i don't know it's still it'll always be home and like your soul knows that when it's home um and i and i loved it so um anything else from the birthday that i missed um i was cut off from alcohol at the birthday party, and I have one sip, after, after that Friday night, Corey's, like, you're, he, I mean, I decided on it, he didn't tell me to, but, like, um, yeah, that was funny, what happened to the party, though, did anything happen, I don't know, the next morning, we flew out that afternoon on Sunday, after the birthday, and my grandparents and all of us went to our favorite place for breakfast called the farmhouse and um we got some omelets and I got a cinnamon roll and it was so

good and we just hung out and said our goodbyes and that was the trip so I think I'll end it there um I really need to I'm starting to like understand when people say oh I I forget to eat or like I'm so busy I like don't have time to eat like I I feel like I'm becoming that person and that's not good because like if I don't eat I get really um bitchy like I turn into a fucking cunt like I'm trying to eat more regularly and literally I was facetiming Corey earlier um when I told him that I can't hang out tonight because I need to podcast and I'm like I'm so proud of myself I ate I was like I ate breakfast and this is what I had and then I had lunch and then I had a snack and then I'm

to make dinner and I was like I'm so proud of myself I ate like consistently throughout the day because I can't tell you how many times I've gone over to his place or he's come here or whatever and I'm like I'm so exhausted I tell him I'm like I'm so tired like I I'm not even hungry I'm so tired he's like well what did you eat today and I'm like coffee I'll be like I had a protein shake he's like that's a problem then then then we get dinner and I perk up like the food makes me awake you know so I don't know I definitely feel like today was one of those goddamn motherfucking Tuesdays that I don't know why I'm guys it's just my brand okay I'm not professional I'm not I don't I'm not poised elegant eloquent or whatever I'm not sophisticated okay it's it's a

little rough around the edges here it's it's uh it's tacky it's brash uh that's just how I am when i hang out with myself and talk on my podcast okay so apologies for the swearing it for the for the people out there that are offended by my word choice no one's a fucking offend if you're offended or maybe you're just not vibing with it like i don't know are there people out there that like hear someone cuss like me and they're like she swears way too much i don't know i heard it was like a form or a sign of intelligence or something one time i think i started pouring i started pouring pouring on the f bombs started pouring on the the swear words poured i started pouring on the the swear words thick poured on thick pour after i heard that i don't know

it's like a habit so yeah it's one of those tuesdays um i'm grinding still at fucking 9 p.m here on my show went way over time i called it i wanted this to be a 25 minute episode and turned into a, about an hour and a half here. And, um, I mean, I just know, I just know how I am. Like you can't tell me, like literally when you find your passion, I don't know who's listening out there, but like one day, if you haven't found it yet, you'll find it. And it's one of those things where like you could do it all day long and never get sick of it. And that's how I feel when I podcast so um yeah that's why I haven't stopped in 319 episodes now and it's like a sick obsession I really can't help it it's like and it's also one of those things where I'm like it's all about

me me me it's so narcissistic and self-indulgent it's all about me um like listen to me listen to, you know, I want you to know all about me, me, me, me, but I just know how it feels to listen to other podcasts, host talk, and how fun that is, or, like, how fulfilling, or what's the word, like, comfy, like, I would say listening to podcasts is comfy, because it feels like you have a friend, or, like, you're part of a conversation, or, like, you're hanging out with someone like I know that's my why like why do I do that I want to be that person for for you if you're listening I want to be that podcast for you so um sometimes I get in my head about how like self-serving this is but it's really not like yeah it helps me because I get

to purge my thoughts and get everything out of my brain um which is super I've found to be a super helpful thing for my uh mental health and my happiness and my um confidence all this this podcast has helped me tremendously like overcome all of my issues and um so yeah it helps me and it obviously if you're still listening at this point if you've been engaged this long like something in your brain is liking it so it's probably helping you too um I'm not and I always say this like why do I why do I even say this well I'm not special I need to stop saying that like I I feel like if you're listening to me you probably relate to me in some way and um like we're all

kind of the same you know what I mean we all have different lives but like we have we experience we experience similar things and um I know when I listen to podcasts hosts talk about their lives I feel like oh yeah like they're just like me or like I'm not it makes people feel less alone you know all the good fuzzy feeling or good fuzzy all like fun what's up Jacqueline on the episode all those feel good things okay so this world needs entertainers I signed up to be one back on September 4th 2020 and I haven't stopped since okay I didn't even sign up I just it just happened I don't want to retell a story now but like that's my favorite thing about my show it's like I literally didn't say one day oh I want to start a podcast like literally like it all happened so

serendipitously where like one thing led to another and all of a sudden I'm sitting there with my iPhone and my head like I old iPhone headphones plugged in with a little microphone on the side like downloading an audio recording app or whatever or like a and then like yeah it just happened it was there's the story I mean I don't want to retell the story but like someone had dm'd me that I should do a podcast on a certain topic I had posted on Instagram on my story and then um I like stopped everything I was doing and I started talking and then I got I instantly was like oh this is what I'm supposed to do so it's kind of the what's that called an elevator pitch that's like the two second synopsis on

how I got started here okay love you so much love you um thank you for listening thanks for hanging out if you enjoyed this episode please review the show like review my show on Spotify Apple wherever you listen to podcasts it really helps me out helps other people find out about the show uh helps the algorithm i think push me to the like top of the fucking charts i don't know how it works but like review it that's that's super important review the show if you enjoyed it uh subscribe wherever you're listening right now follow me on instagram at jacqueline monroe TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe and if you want to watch me on my podcast on YouTube subscribe to my YouTube channel uh for the video version it's also on Spotify video which is super sick

um I was like one of the first people to be on Spotify video next to Joe Rogan and like one time I DM'd him that I was on Spotify and he said congrats and like oh my god so anyways um i don't know what how to end the episode love you thank you for being here uh you matter god damn it if you're having a bad day you you are important there's no one in this world like you and uh yeah you're the shit okay tell yourself that every day just tell yourself until your confidence is 10 out of 10 just self-affirm every day affirmations positive self-talk keep it positive keep it optimistic like glass is always full um why am i turning this into a self-help monologue

at the end like literally just don't be depressed okay I don't know how else to say it like just no I hate when people used to tell me that like just stop thinking about like don't you know they just snap out of it it's like sometimes you can't do that but uh for me it's talking out loud to myself on my podcast that cured me and um maybe that'll work for you maybe you need to start a I don't know, Jacqueline and the episode, so, like, yeah, just realize how fucking amazing you are, and how, like, I don't know, like, I used to talk shit to myself every day, and I literally don't do it anymore, and it's, like, I don't know, I'm, like, how do I teach someone right now, why do I feel compelled, I need, I feel like I need to add some value right now, or, like, like, tell someone something profound, who's listening, who's struggling, but, like, literally, I think it's time. Time heals all. I totally believe that you have to trust that time, it gets better. Time heals all. And somewhere along the way during the show, I talked it out so much, that's what healed me and all my own bullshit and all my own negative self-talk. and it got me out of my depression and everything that I was going through and but somewhere along the way I got really good at shutting off having a like a light switch or like a shut off valve

to my negative mind stuff and I think I had an epiphany on the actually I remember I had an epiphany epiphany on the show while I was talking where I realized that that thinking is like ruining me like okay Jacqueline like it's oh it's simple it's simple like when people used to say oh just like cut it out like just talk nice to yourself or whatever they would say I was so annoyed by it but like literally that's like how I stopped I got good at like telling myself just to snap out of it and I would do that over and over and over again once it started I would snap out of it shift have a it's like Tony Robbins is fucking what does he call it a something a state change you need like a shift you got to switch out of that mode um because it's easy i

mean i don't know why is this self-help podcast now jacqueline i'm so the salmon is cold it's probably bad to eat right now fuck me so yeah like you um i know it's what am i saying oh sometimes you get caught in a dark place in life and it's hard to snap out of it and get out of it but um or it's hard yeah so been there done that I'm right there with you if that's what you're going through right now um yeah shit all right gonna go eat my rotten cold salmon I'm blessed to even have salmon i mean see positive i'm gonna go eat my salmon i'm so blessed to have and so grateful to have for dinner uh and i'm gonna upload this episode do like something else probably some other task on my to-do list cramming in right before the the lights shut out um for bed

and um that's how i'm gonna end my night so hope you enjoy this episode thanks again for hanging out subscribe like whatever review all the things um before you x out of this app or change to the next episode go to go to my show and give it some tlc with your fucking thumb give it a nice give that just massage the uh what's it fucking called the review stars massage those stars one through five give it give it a nice massage on your phone right now review the show one through five stars um this might be i don't know it's audio only but like i i i think it's a five star episode um personally so um yeah review the show that would help me out and that's it love you talk to you next week bye