The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 32- Sex Dreams and Caffeine

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Hiiiiii Here's a fun episode to start your week! I talk about getting a pap smear and cutting back on caffeine. Happy Monday!! Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Happy Monday, October 5th, everyone. It's episode 32. Welcome back to the podcast. Hey! What's up, everyone? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the podcast. Happy Monday. How are you doing? Motivation Monday time. Jacqueline's now podcasted 31 days in a row. So there's your motivation. This is episode 32. I cannot believe this. And to be honest, I'm starting to think that maybe I should like change the tone to be more calm and cozy because I think in the last few episodes I've been so wired up and like maybe maybe you like that but I'm starting to think like it'd be nice to just chill out on a podcast not try to like bring the crazy energy um so yeah I'm

like I'm like my brain is goes Jacqueline like maybe just like calm down today and talk about things you're struggling with and going through in life and that you want to work on this week because it's Monday and I do have a note here on my trusty notepad to discuss the things I want to work on this week and new habits I want to start building because you know what I've done this now for a month and I'm noticing how my like daily routine is going and I've I've pinpointed areas I want to improve in this whole like podcasting daily life shit so we'll be going into that I'm going to obviously talk about the last 24 hours I feel like I want a new like uh title of that segment the 24-hour update I think I could like do a different I don't I'm sick of like saying

24-hour update uh anyways we're gonna do that we're not gonna do a coffee fact because I'm over it I'm like dude 31 days of the coffee facts that's annoying so we're gonna do uh you know what let's do a random fact here I do have a document pulled up my uh big giant google doc of random facts for instagram descriptions I did this summer dude did anyone follow me when I was doing that like I I posted a picture and I'm like I don't want to just post selfies anymore I want to post something that's actually helpful for people so I did like a like a selfie or whatever like I did a picture with a bunch of swipes and I did all kinds of like like history facts life hacks adulting tips recipes uh positive affirmations I basically listed that out underneath the post

and so I have a whole document here pulled up with random facts that I'm going to read today so instead of the coffee fact here's your random fact oh my god no do not okay so random fact today Monday October 5th here you go let's all learn something in a deck of cards the king of hearts is the only one without a mustache I didn't know that so I wonder do I have a deck of cards I do have a deck of cards I'm gonna check this out we're gonna fact check this right now live on the podcast dude this is like a live radio show that's what I realized I'm like dude Jacqueline you're just basically you're a radio host at this point doing it every day king of clubs that's not it king of where am I where's my king of hearts watch this deck not have it

it looks like I'm doing a magic trick on the YouTube podcast dude go to YouTube subscribe to watch the video hey wait where's the king of hearts do not do not tell me oh wait there's diamonds okay guys stay with me stay with me i know this might be boring but we're gonna we're gonna fact check this this king of hearts thing right now clubs wait spade guys i'm not even kidding this deck i'm not singing king of hearts in it dude am i being pranked where's ashton am i being punked what does that show ashton kutcher dude there's not a king of hearts in here jack of clubs queen of clubs dude this is a simulation this is okay i'm showing the camera okay nope wait

oh okay wait i have two cards left in the box you guys this is proof we're in a simulation the simulation the person in control of me right now is fucking with me they left the king of hearts in this fucking box you could i can't make this up everyone just witnessed me on the video podcast doing this this is the best podcast ever episode 32 i'm gonna this is going on in history here is i'm showing the camera that i didn't just fake this king of hearts let's see if it has a mustache compared to the oh it doesn't have a mustache so the fact that you read today was correct they all have a mustache okay guys what just like that was insane I basically okay I took a chance I had the coffee to fact tab open today because I keep it open all the

time with all the random facts and I on the fly decided to fucking not do that and we just had a such I mean I'm like the king of hearts the one I was looking for was left in the box simulation, dude, every time shit happens like that, I'm like, someone up there is fucking with me right now, all right, so let's get into the 24-hour update, that was fun, okay, yeah, go to the video podcast to witness me live on fucking video doing that, dude, best podcast ever, episode 32, this podcast is not older than I am by a lot, shit, okay, so let's talk about what I did yesterday, it was Sunday, and I slept in, so I missed the Seahawks game, but you know what, 4-0 bitch we won of course we did uh beat the Miami Dolphins and uh so I missed the Seahawks

game so I was like you know what I gotta do laundry today so I did my I did my little drive 30 minutes north up to Del up to Del Mar to do my fucking laundry because like I shouldn't probably talk about where I go do my laundry that was probably stupid but whatever I did that again I went on a little road trip and yeah I did my laundry it was an hour turnaround honestly it was like well not like an hour and a half quick drive up quick drive back um came home and I I was very productive yesterday it was Sunday I was like cleaning doing laundry you know what I mean and then I worked out um let's see if I have any notes here I'm referring to my notebook about yesterday I was really I have I have a note here barely on my phone which would be that is correct

because I've noticed I am like basically every time I think about touching my phone I just tell it to fuck off like that's it that's my new thing I'm like and I have a new notification on Instagram to remind me like how many hours I've been on it and so it's like a daily challenge now to never see that notification and I don't want to tell you the hour or the hours that I have for my limit um but let's just say I I'm it's a little game I'm playing with myself right now so yeah there's your little Monday motivation go to your Instagram set a reminder if you go over certain amount of hours like if if you're over like eight hours a day it'll like yell at you if you're over three you can set it to however many you want so yeah I was like barely on my

phone yesterday being very productive did my laundry went to the gym I watched the 49ers Eagles game I didn't finish it though I was on the treadmill just getting my legs lean and long um hold on let me check this score I can't believe I didn't even like check the tv on my way out I ended up lifting afterwards game let's see what the result was hell yeah Eagles won now you might be a 49ers fan out there and that probably uh you're you're triggered right now but I for whatever reason I just cannot stand the 49ers didn't we go to the suit like Jacqueline didn't we go to the Superbowl with him. Seahawks Superbowl. Didn't we do that? Is that why I hate him? Dude, I feel so dumb right now. I feel like that's why I don't like this 49ers. Didn't we go

to the Superbowl with him? Why am I, I'm blushing right now. I feel so embarrassed. We're going to Seahawks, Seahawks Superbowl. Anyway, so I was at the, I was at the gym. Yeah, I knew it. Um, can't stand them because of that. Did we even want, dude, I am so not on task great now I'm embarrassing myself trying to talk football and I suck I don't really know what was going I just know I don't like the 49ers and anyways Eagles won go Eagles woohoo Donovan McNabb fucking is he still the quarterback okay all I remember about the Eagles ever like my only like my I I just know Donovan McNabb was my brother's favorite quarterback back in the day and I think he had an Eagles jersey with McNabb on the back and that's all I know about the Eagles

but anyways okay so I was at the tread I was on the treadmill do my power walking um I've been doing a lot of heavy lifting lately so to balance it out I try to walk a lot and keep my legs like long and lean versus because I if I just lift heavy and do that my legs do bulk up and that is the thing so especially my quads and stuff so I have to like keep them you know I try to like do both a lot of long walks and incline walking and you know what I mean you got to work it's like you got to really work the you got to do it all okay I work I do yoga as well I do like body weight stuff on top of my heavy lifting but last night was a great workout I inclined walked for I was like doing it for an hour watching the game and then I um went and did my I did deadlifting

last night so that was good I got up to 245 which is like crazy and I did like four sets of 12 which I'm like Jacqueline I don't see I don't really know how to do anything at the gym like I just try to go heavy and then do as many reps like that makes sense or whatever that's like it's it's hard but I'm able to like I'll I should I should probably go heavier and do less reps so i should do like i don't know how many like i should like work up to 300 pounds or something and do like three reps to that so that's what's going on um cute boys of course at the gym last night i saw he was definitely like a former uh nfl nba he was like former athlete i could tell this guy knew what he was fucking doing he was doing his warm-up i was on the treadmill and i

was looking up like my peripheral vision and this guy was he was doing like warm-up stuff like pre pre football practice shit. You know what I mean? Or pre basketball, like really intense stretching and like, um, lunging with like his arm up and like grapevine shit where he's like going back and forth by the, the stretching mat area. It was, he was, it was cool. I was like, you know what, you know when you don't see this often, like maybe he was a track athlete. He did like the high knee shit anyways so he's cute too so I saw him and then who else did I oh uh cute flight attendant no cute the cute entrance attendant what did I call him yesterday I can never I don't know what they're called the the store employee the gym employee was there he's working three shifts in

a row three days in a row that I've been there and uh I'm like trying to I don't know I'm just feeling it out anyways okay so then let's talk about what happened last night after the gym I don't know man oh okay I know I have a story and I don't she might be able to hear me but I don't know I never know if like my neighbors can hear me but I'm pissed right now I've got some rustling chairs upstairs and it's really frustrating okay so uh last night my neighbor she she was acting like a like a pissed off man down in the south on his porch with a shotgun sitting there being paranoid about someone out there being a threat like that's how she was acting with her baby um german shepherd dog she has they were she so all i know is i was on my

couch like watching tv and then i hear fuck you fucking fucking fuck you know a lot of f words and just screaming and the dog barking and i'm like what's going on so i like crept up by my window and i looked outside and she's just sitting there with her dog like next to her staring out and i looked through my peephole for like a good minute and she's just sitting there staring back and forth out the out like out at the street like i don't know if she was like yelling at someone who got her upset about maybe the it was I think it was like a man I don't know what was going on and then later I checked because I like was about to go to bed and she was pacing like pissed off like brow furrowed is that the term just like pacing in front of where I live with her dog

just like waiting for some guy to like bitch out or something just very like mark in her territory like like I said it's like a equivalent like what she was doing was like equivalent the equivalent of a fucking guy with a shotgun just like ready to fucking shoot someone's from his porch you know I just like imagine like like back in the day or like I feel like there's still porches like this you know like the wraparound porch and those classic homes out there on the prairie and there's a there's a there's like a porch swing and a man with his legs just like sitting back with a shotgun and a thing of whiskey and he's just like get off my property like that's the vibe I caught last night for my neighbor and uh I don't know what's going on but I did hear a lot of swearing and

something happened I might have to ask her about that today but um anyways then let's talk about dude I'm not even I haven't even updated you on today yet we're getting through it we're getting through it oh last night okay so do you guys want me to be more calm like do you want me to be like I feel like I get too energized and I'm like, I just should, I should just be like, hi, like more relaxed. Okay. So like last night, my, um, like, you know what I mean? Just more calm. Um, but I can't be, cause that's not, I just get too excited with podcasts. I'm only a month into this and I'm like, I feel like a five-year-old just like, I want to play. I want to play on the playground and I want to play with all my friends. Dude, I saw my doctor this morning

and I should have told her about this we'll get into that let me drink some coffee okay so last night I had the most sexual dream I've had in like this whole year and it it was so you know when you have a sex dream it feels so real like no first of all time out no one likes to hear about other people's dreams I know that's annoying it's like who gives a like i hate when someone tries to tell me about their dream especially in person like let's not have a conversation about this it's i don't care but people are like oh my god you have to hear about my dream last night it's like shut the fuck up but um i'm just i just want to inform you that i had it was so vivid and i'm like i woke up and i'm like first of all it was with a prominent figure

in san diego that's all i'm gonna say i'm not gonna say who someone known in the city and i'm like I woke up and I'm like am I in love with it like I was like wait I do I like him like that I was like wait a minute time out first of all in my dream best kisser kisser I've ever kissed so I was like okay that's interesting and I'm like what the fuck that was like the best sex I've ever had I'm like dude this is fucked up that's what happened last night I'm just telling you about my 24 hours I had a sex dream that was insane um it just felt like you know when they feel I think I don't know it just felt really real and I know we've all had that before but and it was someone I've never well should I now I'm like narrowing this down to like who it might

be but I have never met this person which is weird to like think about and you know what when I retrace my steps because you know when you dream about something you're like why did I have a dream about that I realized that I saw it post like I saw a post close to bedtime and that I was like oh and that probably my brain probably was like dude but I've like never thought he was hot or like liked him I was just like what the fuck so anyways that happened last night it was uh it was a good time okay so anyways this morning let's get into this morning what happened so I had a doctor's appointment it's my little checkup like a physical um slash pap smear uh we'll get into that uh so I did that this morning but I just wanted to uh talk to you guys about the fact that I literally this

morning literally I tested out every hairpin on the San Diego freeways that there possibly are like I had my maps on my or my GPS because I didn't know where this new facility was so I was like okay I'll like you know map quest whatever map quest you know what you know what I'm saying I have my GPS on and the the volume volume is off and I'm screaming Harry Styles a song um it was on the the radio adore you like like just that type of screaming like I was having so much fun screaming that song and I was missing all of the exits I was rerouting and I I kept going around the hairpins doing u-turns trying to get to the fucking doctor's office so it was a good I had like such a good morning I woke up I'm like oh I'm not I'm not scared of this I'm like

I'm trying to like psych myself I was trying to like hype myself up about this appointment because sometimes it can be like nerve-wracking I don't know um so anyways I went to the doctors and uh she was so it was quick everything about this appointment was quick I went in for a you know a well woman check is what they call it you know check everything out touch everything like pap smear the whole nine yards and I felt like first of all I'm a I'm a very calm and collected like slow talker when I'm just meeting people for the first time because I recognize a lot of the the communication issues I pick up on in society right now are people are rushed they speak ahead of you they're not really present because they're scatterbrained because of social

media and all that shit so I make it a point when I meet people for the first time to be very slow and like hi like I don't get I try not to rush my talking but that was not we were not on the same wavelength she was super nice but the whole thing felt rushed and I'm like like it was like one thing to the next okay so washing my hands I mean you're witnessing washing my hands because of coronavirus and I was like okay that was you know witnessing that she's like okay two deep breaths and then you know and then it's like okay and then she like moved to my ears and look there and like touch my back and like all this shit and um oh yeah and then like remove your gown now she had to do my palpitation for my mammogram or my breast examination thing and

then it was like okay perhaps in your time but i felt like she's rushing to the paps when you're so quick and i was like i just don't give a shit you know what i mean i'm just like it is what it is this what this what you have to do this what you sign up for as a woman like you just this what happens so um it was just rushed and i felt like dude i don't feel awkward about this like you can be calm and then when she dude first of all sorry guys out there listening if you don't want to hear about a pap smear first of all pap smear it's the worst combination of words in existence anyways that that little device um I would I'm embarrassed to say this that's like the most action I've gotten in a long time all right when she put that thing in I was like oh

oh I forgot I forgot what this is like oh shit okay um and it was very quick she was very efficient when she was doing it everything about her was quick it was like and she was so like like like on point with her words like everything was like like she was so on the zone when she was talking um and like trying to distract me as she was doing my pap smear but yeah it was a good time I was thinking about it i'm like this is fucked up sorry um i wonder if like if there's been a situation ever where like someone she like does a pap smear on someone or doctors in general like i'm sure this has happened like and a girl moans as soon as it like goes in someone just goes you know what i mean like that's the thing it like feels similar you know what i mean i was like

it it's just it was like oh shit okay so anyways um yeah hopefully I get my result I get my results in two days and hopefully it's all clear but um yeah it was a good appointment I don't know I feel uncomfortable sorry if that made anyone uncomfortable but um yeah so I had the doctor's appointment I came home to podcast I was like please Jacqueline like get home ASAP because i want a podcast and guess what i did not only did i test out all of the hairpins in san diego on the freeway because i kept rerouting because i wasn't paying attention to my maps on the way to my apartment like on my way back home i found myself going north and i live south from this location and i was passing schools like elementary schools then i saw the a new high

school i've never seen before and then i'm looking you know here's a new church on the hill i've never seen I'm in this new neighborhood I'm on these fucking four-way stop sign roads back roads who knows where in San Diego and I'm like I'm just joyriding at this point I'm like you know what Jacqueline you've never explored this area of town like just enjoy this so I took a long time to get home I got to the point where I was like I'm gonna like pretend I don't have a GPS and this is 2002 and like I have to figure this out and I did and I found the I found the five and I came home, but too, too many burps. This is not okay. Um, so that was my morning. What was I going to say? Oh shit. How are you doing? Am I, I feel like I'm talking too fast today. Something I want to

work on. I'm going to put this out here right now. Tell this to the universe. I really want to cut back on my coffee consumption this week. I'm going to do it finally once and for all. and I thought I did today but based on my judging by my fucking motor mouth um too much so yeah that's what happened uh yesterday and today oh I got on the scale you know what I mean you know how you have to get like that's the first thing you do at the doctor's office I was like oh shit okay okay girl all right girl I was like okay um that was I don't know like it's I'm at the point now and I think this is a big life accomplishment like I don't I am so relaxed about weight gain and all that stuff where before like the last I would say like honestly up until

probably up until 2000 like all up until this year I would be triggered and like depressed like oh I gained weight you know but now I just don't care it's I'm very I just look at it as oh this is information obviously I've gained weight and there's reasons for it and whatever but I was thinking about it and I'm like you know what you know gained weight and it was like so sexy does anyone remember when um Rihanna like got super thick like all of a sudden everyone's like oh Rihanna like she but she was so she's so sexy like it doesn't matter I'm not like in my head about like oh I gained 20 pounds oh you know um so anyways I I always like it was crazy to get on this the reason I'm saying this is it was crazy to get on the scale today and be so unfazed like

I don't give a fuck um which I'll just put this out there and women and maybe men but I'd say people would probably relate to this or agree that there are women that go their entire lives being triggered and and upset about that fucking scale and I think that's really sad like I don't want I'm 26 and I'm nipping that in the ass now like I don't want to be 60 having issues with that and I think it's it's just one of those things in life like who gives a shit and that's how my whole brand is lately it's like I don't give a shit in fact I'm dude I made a choice to post something on Instagram last night like this stupid well I think now I'm looking at it like that was probably stupid it's just this soundbite that someone clipped or i i like had one of my og

listeners besties he sent me the time stamp of like when i made this insane noise so i decided to post it last night and i'm like that was probably the most unattractive disgusting thing i've ever fucking posted on instagram you can go to my profile and see it but i'm like you know i just don't care anymore like that isn't how i am i'm like i'm sick of trying to portray like you know it's cliche but this i'm this little like barbie cutesy little dainty butterfly chick like that's not me like dude that's just not it so i took a chance and i got like eight likes and it's all good it's all good that algorithm fucking hates me and it's all good dude it's crazy how like I don't and I get it I don't scroll like if someone posts something I never see it because I

don't scroll on my home page on Instagram I just look at like the five stories I watch and then like I look at my profile everyone does this everyone I feel like how many fucking times a day do you look at your own shit like I just look at my profile and like scroll a little bit and I'm like what am I doing so anyways um dude okay so I have some thoughts I want to get into I'm going to change subjects here. Um, first of all, patreon.com slash TJMS. If you want to support the show, you can head over there. I've got a few patrons now. Uh, I posted a lot of, yesterday I posted like, I don't know, like 10 selfies on my phone, like mirror pics and stuff that I'd never posted on online before, just from my camera roll. So I posted a lot of content that I never show the

internet, which is fun. Um, and I shout you guys out at the end of the podcast. So if you become a patron everyone gets a shout out at the end um but also if you're watching on this youtube video right now go ahead and hit that subscribe button wherever it is below or if you're listening head over to my youtube to subscribe to watch this anyways um i hate doing that part i hate doing that part is it okay okay is it annoying when i like giggle and laugh and shit at myself on this is that annoying like I'm too I'm too excited and then I'm like it's probably just frustrating I don't know so I want to talk about something more serious in regards to my podcast yesterday titled I get heated about Trump that is literally what I titled I was like what else is what else am I

gonna call this that's literally what happened I got heated about Trump I just want to talk about how I realized that like the reason I'm upset about people's I guess attitude towards Trump and their I don't know just their opinions of him and everything I'm like people just they need more nuance in their thinking like two things can be true at the same time and I don't think people ask themselves enough questions and really look at things in a nuanced way they're very I don't know just one just I don't know small like yeah you're small-minded you're so open-minded and woke but you're also very small-minded because you're not able to have some reasoning skills and be rational about shit and I don't know and another thing my other like kind of um I don't

know just thought about my post yesterday is like I realize maybe the reason for that and what I'm seeing and how people bitch and hate on Trump is that they people live vicariously through the people they follow on the internet like influencers celebrities and they like they don't really think for themselves independently of that a lot a lot of times themselves it's obvious it's really obvious they don't think for themselves and they don't like they don't even it's like do you even have values do you even know what your values are have you ever sat down and really established that because I think it's a it's a domino effect it's like okay someone of status and someone you look up to post something and you're you you're living vicariously

through them you're like I respect this person I think they are cool I want to be like them and I And I think their opinion and how they're, you know, how they are speaking about politics and what's going on in the world and Trump and everything, or in support of Biden, they, they're like, oh, like, that sounds good. And I get it. And they don't even have, they're not even thinking for themselves. So anyways, just like I had a thought about that. You know, I think people need to be, have more nuance in their thinking. That's, you know, it's dead nuance. Life is all about nuance. Everything in life is. if you really like but it's dead it's dead in conversation it's it's so dead in conversation and i think that's that's contributing that's a huge reason we have such a fucked up communication problem this country is people don't consider the nuance of the situation you know what speaking of people that i look up to and respect that just lost it i'm just gonna say it i don't care like you guys can unsubscribe and be like jacqueline's but i the the rock lost my respect with his um this endorsement of biden and that

whole corny fucking interview he did that was so corny that's all i want to say about that like it didn't feel like usually he speaks from his heart and he's very genuine and like passionate when he speaks but that whole situation where he him uh he he basically posted on instagram this I'm endorsing I'm just I've never done this before but I go big whatever I do I go big and I today I'm endorsing Joe Biden and he had this little interview powwow with him and it was just so corny so yeah anyways like there's an example of hey I thought I was you know I look up to the rock I've always loved him and admired everything about him and then I saw that and I'm just like I just lost respect like like that and I do want to point out the fact that I'm aware that people's

political opinions and their takes on everything are based off their life experience and what they were brought up you know that situations they were brought up in in the home when they were younger and the challenges they faced in society and everything it all contributes to their point of view of you know politics and everything so I don't I'm choosing I'm actively choosing to continue following people and and looking past that because I think it's really easy to go oh they support Trump or though they support Biden unfollow annoyed how could you ever how dare you and I'm choosing to I don't know just look past that because you know what you shouldn't like that's not, it doesn't, that's so irrational. That's not healthy. Um, I think you can be friends

with people and have different political opinions and that's just the way it is. It's one of those things that it's going to November 3rd is going to happen. It's going to blow over and then I'll fucking love the rock. You know what I mean? Like it's not, he just lost my respect. That's what it is. I was just like, Jesus, I was so, I don't know. I don't know if anyone else saw that, but my notebook's falling apart. Um, see what else I could talk about. Oh, I know. Let's talk about uh the trump uh little motorcade drive-by wave session he had yesterday or the day before you know what jacqueline i think i'm gonna refrain from talking about this i was gonna go into the controversy surrounding trump doing his little parade wave by way parade drive-by thing where

he waved out the window inside the the suburban vehicle thing whatever i'm fucking whatever it's called um with the secret service people are upset that he did that and of course they are but um oh like you know putting his secret service in risk of getting COVID which okay I don't really want to go into this podcast I'm already like self-conscious of it got really political there but I just had to speak my mind dude nuance we need more of it that's all I want to say um let's talk about what I want to work on this week so I have a note on my phone like i wrote down stuff that's going well things i'm like doing well with my daily routine now and then stuff i want to work on because it's monday start of a new week i'm not really one of those

people that does i don't like going on kicks and doing things like monday i'm gonna do this for one week straight like i don't do a lot of that maybe that'd be good for me but i get annoyed it's like day two i'm just annoyed i'm like why why am i making this a thing you know what i mean like i'm trying to cut back on this this week or start this new thing this week or work out so many times this week it's just not for me i like to have a consistent balanced lifestyle everything i do is not i don't like to do anything extreme that is what that's because of trial and error it's what i've learned every time i do something extreme there's always an opposite and equal reaction does that make sense y'all know what i'm talking about let me put on some chapstick

i got this uh eos lip balm um dude how crazy was that king of hearts shit in the beginning of this podcast okay so this is what this is what's going well in my life and this is what I'm currently good at in my daily routine so I feel like my obviously my podcasting is just soaring like an eagle it's soaring like an eagle I'm doing it every day I'm being I'm successful at that right now I'm really good at a consistent exercise right now I've been working out pretty much every day even like I'll say it seven days a week is kind of where it's at right now but I I go lighter on like the weekends I've been doing so so far like weekends are usually just

light cardio and I happened to deadlift last night on Sunday but yeah I'm being consistent with the exercise I'm eating really healthy lately which has been nice I just want to I feel better um what else is going well sleep is going yeah yeah we'll talk about that and the stuff I want to work on um I have a note here why am I not looking at it refer to my notes um I don't know like I have a solid morning routine I'm clean I take good care of my skin right now late like since I've been on camera now four fucking episodes I've been on YouTube um so yeah like those things are going well but this is shit I want to work on let's check my note do you guys do this like little this is my morning pages my self-reflection moment I'm talking to you guys

about now but um that's kind of what this is you guys probably I don't know maybe you don't do this maybe this is like your morning your Monday motivation like write down the stuff you want to work on this week so I want to work on my nighttime routine and my sleep because I want to get I think this week I want to strive for eight hours I sleep really well I get I average on my whoop strap it says I average like six and a half which is weirdly my number over the years I've recognized that I naturally wake up after six and a half hours like that's just what happens and uh it happened again today I had um set my alarm for my doctor's appointment but um I went to bed super super late I went to bed at midnight again um but I want to work on my

night nighttime routine where I'm putting my phone away and like just being present with a book in my hand and shit you know what I mean so I don't know this week I'm going to do that um also like this is stupid maybe sounding but what are sentences got my computer yelling at me for something get out of here x out um I want I have this I romanticize the idea of watching a movie start to finish with no distraction and maybe that's what I'll do this week like I'll watch Halloween movies every single day this week at night put my phone in a drawer just tuck it away before bedtime and watch a movie and just watch it you know what I mean I don't do that because I'll do that now this is this is screwed up I'll do that with a podcast on YouTube I will

sit there present as fuck for two hours straight watching that but for some reason movies I get so bored after two seconds I'm like I don't I just don't want to I don't want to like my imaginations is just max the fuck out I don't care I'm like I don't want to follow a storyline right now but I love movies that's the thing as I feel like I miss I went to a movie recently and I was like love movies and I get so hyped when I'm in a movie theater so I think this week I'm gonna start watching movies every night in fact no I'm writing that bitch on a notepad here movies every night this week and I'll report tomorrow morning how my movie watching watching is going movie nights all week dude I'm so organized with my shit I'm writing this on

an orange sticky note for uh Halloween so DM me yeah if you're listening right now DM me movie recommendations I don't like to be I don't like to be scared that's the only thing so if they're Halloween movies it's got to be Disney Channel and fucking Disney Channel hocus pocus type of movies not super scary like horror movies um so yeah I want to work on that this week being more present watching a movie at night not on my phone and I oh man I have to talk about my doctor's appointment this morning I brought up my napping because I've told you guys I've had these really intense naps in the afternoon like almost every day and I think it's due to my medication and I'm adjusting my body's trying to like I don't know

it's my brain is trying to figure out what's going on but I was telling her about this and she was kicking back with information I already knew and I'm sitting there smiling and nodding the whole time I'm like dude Aubrey Marcus the on it team has taught me about human optimization i learned this back in 2016 go out in the morning reset your circadian rhythm drink salt water or drink spring water with a dash of himalayan salt walk out stare at the sun and get as much sunlight on your skin as possible and aubrey marcus i remember watching a instagram video back like yeah 2016 he taught me this reset your circadian rhythm and it's gonna fix your sleep and she was telling me stuff like using terminology that the on it team on it squad out

there is probably that's told me before all these human optimization people i follow like ben greenfield jay ferugia i think is how you say his name like his podcast like all these all these like health nerds out there that are into optimizing the day and getting the best sleep ever and getting sunlight on your skin and natural vitamin d and all this shit so she was explaining to me what I should do in the morning to help my napping situation. And I was like, this is why I love social media. And I feel like I can be a doctor because like the shit she was saying, she was using the terminology that I've seen and I know like super well. So that's cool. So anyways, let's get into the rest of the shit I want to work on. Obviously,

I want to cut back on caffeine. I'd want it not only like, yeah, I want to reset my caffeine this week. Are you guys bored right now? Is this annoying? I'm just talking about shit I want to work on. Sorry. I talked about, did I mention sexy on this podcast? I think that was like the highlight. Dude, pap smear. That was disgusting. Why'd I talk about that? Oh, I told you guys about my sex dream. So this podcast was worth it. I told you my sex dream. I'm going to, you know what I'm going to do now? This is so fucked up. Dude, this is embarrassing. I'm probably gonna go to this particular person person's Instagram and like really take a good look and be like wait do I like him like that like that I know we had sex in my dream last night and

I never like thought I liked you at all but I've been like I I don't want to say if I'm following him or not but I was like maybe so now I know what I'm gonna do today I'm gonna go on a little stalk mission and be like wait I think you're kind of hot wait what the hell this is embarrassing because there's not that many prominent figures in San Diego I feel like there's only like especially the social media prominent prominent social media figures but um I'm just gonna leave it at that it was very odd anyways uh so I talked about sex so this is worth it now I'm talking about boring shit like stuff I want to work on this week let me drink some coffee I'm gonna wrap this up in a sec you guys are busy busy workers out there it's Monday I don't want to distract

you for too long um oh and then I have to tell you guys about a review I got on my podcast and I have a superstition of who it might be and I I'm not gonna name drop but I'm gonna like hint okay so fucking oh okay this is the next thing I want to work on this week is staying productive during the day after a podcast versus just chilling because I podcast it's so like mindless I just pop I record I talk I upload boom done I post my little link on Instagram to listen to it that's it then you it literally takes me no time and this is the thing I'm like now I'm motivated I'm like Jacqueline how efficiently and quickly can you get your podcast routine down so I'm like I want to get so quick at this like I even wrote so this is all I have to do I'm picking my nose

oh my gosh I'm picking my nose on camera no but it itches I've only touched my nose like five times this year because of coronavirus I'm hyper aware of my nose touching no not not it Jacqueline not it not cute no one's gonna ever find you attractive okay um dude we all burp I'm a human being and I'm alive so my podcast routine I wrote a note on my phone I'm showing the camera so I have like pre-podcast stuff recording hour and then I have my post production. Let me read off what I do. So, and I want to get really efficient at this. I want to get really quick at this, especially my post-production. So pre is I wake up, I do my morning routine. Um, I do something to my face, which I can't, I don't want to tell you guys

about. It's kind of, anyways, it's sexual. That's, and I know I've meant, I've hinted at this in the past episodes when I get 10 patrons I'll disclose what I'm doing to my face but um it's really anyways I do that I drink coffee I put on my big sweatshirt I'm an outfit repeater now I'm wearing the same outfit every podcast I put on my little pearls my pearl necklace which is my favorite um I put my hair up in a bun and then I like cover my zits with concealer and shit and then I set up my lights this takes this literally takes me probably 30 minutes to do my morning routine pre-podcast and then I write my notebook my notes for the the show stuff I want to talk about and then I record so it's really quick and then this is what I want to get fast at

you guys are getting insider fucking information this is how I like this is my podcasting routine so I'm a podcaster talking about podcasting once again love this shit it's my new hobby it's my new lifestyle joining the club seven days a week so that my post-production is like this I upload my podcast it takes me two minutes all I have to do is I save the file and I upload it boom two minutes then I post my Instagram story once it's live takes a second it's like well I put a lot of cute little stickers all around the post that sometimes takes sometimes it takes me five minutes to find stuff that's related to the podcast to make it cute and then I edit my footage for YouTube which takes me probably like eight minutes I just I like upload well after it

uploads so this is all like okay as it's uploading I'm drinking water I'm doing stuff around my apartment while stuff's uploading you know what I mean but when I when it comes push comes to fucking shove and I'm sitting there editing it takes me about eight to ten minutes and then I you know save that file and then I upload it to YouTube or I have to compress it then I have to upload it to YouTube and that happens throughout the day because compressing the file and uploading is takes a long time. So I'm going to get that part of my production, like the uploading and editing section super, super fast. Like I bet I can cut that down to like 30 minutes after. Well, yeah. Anyways. So I want to work on that today. Um, after I do this, why am I telling you guys

my podcast routine? I feel weird about that. Whatever. But, um, I just want to be efficient this week. So what did I say I want to work on? I want to work on watching a movie every night. be like a little kid again maybe I'll watch old throwback movies I used to watch as a kid that's gonna be super fun um so I'll work on that I'll work on that work on my my podcast routine getting more efficient at that I forgot honestly I forgot what the other ones were did I write it on my phone here how are you guys doing what's up okay episode 32 is it a train wreck yet. I got a Home Depot truck outside my window right now. Someone's moving. Oh, I saw a funny meme my friend David posted. Let me tell you about it for a second about U-Haul.

Oh, less coffee. Did I mention that? Yeah. And staying productive during the day. So those are my goals this week. All right. The meme my friend David posted is about, let me go to his profile okay he always posts memes he's like sales so it's a meme I'm showing the camera salesperson of the month Gavin Newsom Newsom is that his name the mayor the governor of California salesperson of the month and it's like U-Haul is the company like saying and then it's like a picture of his name because you know so many businesses like thousands the article is says California businesses leave the state by the thousands David posts that he's like we lost Joe Rogan and Brett Contreras because yeah Brett Contreras just moved to

Vegas he had the glute lab here which I never went to that's annoying because I um like I imagined at some point I'd do a little pit stop in there and work out with those glute lab girls because it's like this big crew here and I never did and I'm kind of upset like he well he moved to Las Vegas now he was posting about it the other day but um yeah that's crazy California businesses let's see how many it says 13,000 estimated businesses to have left between oh that's 2009 and 2016 let's look at this year though i mean the taxes here are insane like i i'm i understand why but that's just so annoying dude know your local know who your local politician is politicians are and vote them

out or vote them in like that's what we need to work on it's my little monday motivation like know your local politicians politicians by name what they do and actually vote because they're the ones you know making those decisions for your state and your local shit so yeah anyways it's crazy that shit's crazy all right I'm gonna like end this podcast now I'm feeling like that was a good Monday episode little you know fun quirky I don't know cool episode I'm gonna be productive after this I'm gonna yeah like eat some breakfast like I always do and uh oh I gotta put my couch you guys I went to the laundromat yesterday and I have I I want to update you guys on my couch cushions because I told you how I've been staring at a stain and not giving a shit about it for so

long and I finally got that blueberry juice out of my couch cushion so I'm gonna at some point today have to put those covers back on my couch the cushions and that is so annoying I don't know what's worse I don't know what's worse putting couch cushions covers on the cushions or putting the duvet cover over the duvet I hate making my bed I hate it it's so like I make it every morning but like to do it like from zero and have to like put the bottom sheet on and then everything else is such a chore that's what I want a boyfriend for I just want a boyfriend to be on the other side of the bed helping me make it who wants to be my boyfriend boyfriend you dude I don't want to end this podcast now I'm just hanging out now now I just we're gonna do this for like another

10 minutes so hang on you know what it is honestly I'm really feeling myself like I don't know what it is I just there's something about my life right now that's it's making me confident it's making me like myself it's making me proud of myself and I just want to I just want to keep hanging out but I have to read positive affirmation alarm just went off hold on I want to read this review because I have a superstition. Um, I let a podcaster know, I don't, I'm not name dropping. I'm not saying anything. I let a podcaster know that, um, I have a podcast now and I mean, the message was received. I'll say that. And the, the, um, review I got, I don't know who, like maybe shoot me a DM if you made this if you wrote this review but i'm like this sounds like maybe they're i'm not

gonna say if it's a boy or a girl but this might this sounds like they're like how they would write a review like their word choice and i just i'm superstitious you know it's spooky season halloween is upon us in a few days a few fucking weeks um it's october 5th but I'm like, you know what? It's starting to sound, I'm starting to like connect some dots here. So this is the review. She's great and finding her groove with each new episode. I just want her, I just want even more of her own unique humanness and hope she can trust the listeners to receive her fully. She's got an incredible future here as she continues to explore her own personality on the show worth the listen who wrote me that review DM me I'm so flattered and like taken back

by that but and I got a superstition I just do I don't know what it is there's something about those word choice and uh the the title is downright hilarious and fun to listen to I know I'm self-aware I'm downright hilarious and fun to listen to I mean oh I have another gripe or another thing to bitch about so or haven't bitched yet on this episode well yeah I did about trump stuff but um i saw uh i literally asked google i'm embarrassed i asked google is it okay is it bad to post a podcast seven days a week i asked that because i was just curious what the conversation was out there on quora quora.com fucking quora and there's a someone asked that on quora it's like yahoo answers but it's not it's quora it's like reddit but it's quora

and this nerd was like i've been podcasting for three years and it's you want quality over quantity like i would aim for three a week max just like middle fingers high like fuck off i'm doing it seven days a week like i read that and i rolled my eyes i'm like these these podcasters out there they just don't get it you can bring the heat seven days a week and you can sustain that shit and i've told you many times i'm talking to the camera right now i'm looking at you Okay. Look, if Jacqueline's feeling a little ka-choo, ka-choo on a Thursday morning and she knows she's got a podcast because she does it seven days a week, guess what? I'm going to park my little booty down at my little chair in my podcast studio. I'm going to come on here with

my chicken noodle soup broth and I'm going to say good morning, guys. I'm not feeling that well, but I want to check in and let you know that I'm not feeling well today and I want to get this podcast out for you just do a little life update and talk about shit like I can come on here ill as fuck I can be in my bed podcasting so there's no issue here doing a seven days a week you know what I mean I got a I got an issue with people that think it's uh too much all right I don't know I just anyways um so I won't talk about that let me check my phone to see if I have any dms i don't know do you guys like when i read dms oh i forgot to say this again patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show if you like what you're listening to

if you're like i want more of this girl i want to see these mirror selfies she's never posted on instagram i don't know i'm gonna post a lot of shit on there on my patreon a lot of like content related to what I talk about especially in my old stories like childhood stuff I have pictures to back it up which is kind of fun so you can connect some dots uh so yeah you can go over there and uh support the show on patreon and then youtube of course subscribe to watch the show all right let's check out my dms now that's definitely someone's ring eyed for you what i don't know i posted a dumb video of myself this morning

okay this is boring you guys like reading a dm is so not fun for you guys because you can't see it or it's not interesting um so we'll just end the show now have a happy monday i hope your work is going well i hope your family's healthy i hope you're healthy i hope your cat and your dog and whoever your pets are are healthy i hope you're fulfilled in whatever you're doing in life because that's really important. Fulfillment feels so good. And I finally know what that's like doing a podcast every day. So I hope the same for you and your, and your life. Um, I don't like any podcast, but stick around if you're a patron for your shout out, I'll be shouting you out. And I will talk to you guys tomorrow for Tuesday. And guess what? It's burrito Tuesday tomorrow.

And I can't wait to order my burrito. All right. Have a great Monday. Go Seahawks. Bye everyone. All right. Today's patreon.com slash TJMS. Patron shout outs are about to go down. Thank you guys for your support. I'm going to keep it simple like I did yesterday and shout your names out and just keep, I'm a purist at heart and I think I'll just keep this pure. I'm not going to do that creative Harry Potter, kitchen utensil, hot wheel, car, variety shit. I'm still trying to work out my creative theme I'm going to, I'm going to do for you guys. So today I'm going to keep it simple. Shout out your beautiful names and, um, call it a day. So here you go. First shout out goes to Ricky Jensen. Thank you for your support, Ricky. Really appreciate you. Next shout out goes

to Trevor Garrett. Trevor Garrett. Thank you for your support. And the last shout out goes to Eagle one eagle one you know who you are eagle one eagle one thank you for your support thanks for your support of the show I appreciate you guys you're allowed to message me on patreon by the way to ricky and trevor if you want to if you want a code name instead eagle one wants me wants to be called eagle one and you're welcome to do the same so I can switch up your your names if you want just let me know and shoot me a message that might be a fun way to shout you out Um, anyways, thanks for your support. All right. Bye. Talk to you tomorrow.