The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 320- Stay In Your Lane

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

🍌🍌 Patreon.com/TJMS

what's up guys it's episode 320 welcome back to the show hey what's up it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show um okay this one's a weird one a weird one for me I'm I decided to do a bedtime podcast. Uh, by bedtime, I mean an afternoon on my bed podcast. It's 3 20 PM on a Saturday afternoon. I'm drinking a LaCroix. I'm breathing hard cause I just ate two fucking bananas and I'm getting, I don't know what's going on, but like, I think, I think it's the, the, um, what's and bananas I literally ate two bananas in a row I'm I'm super vascular and I think that's from the sugar and the bananas and the um my like my insulin insulin levels are really high right now

and then I also am like tired from that I don't know what's going on I was just like I'm hungry but I'm not hungry for like an actual meal so I had and I was like doing stuff I was doing like house cleaning and laundry and I was like okay I'll just eat a banana to get me by and then like 30 minutes later I had another banana and then I was like oh fuck I have to podcast so now I'm laying down and I'm looking at my forearm and um I have great veins I don't know what's going on but they're popping um looking really vascular right now um that's like a hot thing for a guy to admit or like to show off but I feel like girls with vascular arms it's like I don't know maybe maybe that's hot too I don't know what I'm saying I don't even know what to tell you

what to update you about um I could talk about my morning I met up with a friend I haven't seen in over four years and we kind of had like a falling out a weird like like nothing big happened but we just we stopped talking um we went on a trip to LA I think that was for my birthday like four years ago and yeah like something kind of stupid happened and then I was like really immature and I honestly apologized to her this morning I was like I don't think I handled that well and I wasn't being a good friend and I was kind of mean so um yeah nothing really big happened when we stopped talking. I ended up moving to San Diego and long story short, we've been kind of chit-chatting over Instagram and she's here this weekend for, uh, one of her friends, like

bachelorettes. And I was like, let's hang and catch up. And yeah, so that was crazy. Um, so that was my morning. Um, sorry, the energy's pretty low. I will say this. what did she tell me she's like yeah sometimes I listen to your episodes and I press like the speed ahead 10 seconds thing or 10 minutes I don't know what that button is and like I shouldn't say this because I should like hype myself up and be my biggest cheerleader about my podcast here but like I wouldn't listen like if okay I would listen to I would listen to me if I was like lonely and I wanted a friend or someone to like I don't know like listen to their life and fucking relate to or whatever but like last episode I'm so I apologize if you listen to

that one I don't know what kind of I don't know what was going on okay um I'm actually getting a psychiatric evaluation. I'm making this sound so bad. Okay. If you listened to the last episode, I was in my kitchen at night cooking salmon and I was, my, I was talking so fast. I was saying the most, I don't even, I don't remember specifically what I said. I just remember being like the, I had crackhead energy the entire time and what I'm saying is I would be so annoyed if I listened to me especially last episode so this is a different flavor I'm chilling on my bed I'm going to this like what's it called like a reunion thing for a I don't really know what it's about it's like a cast or a crew from an old tv show reunion I don't really understand but my boyfriend's

dragging me to it um can't wait no I'm actually excited it's gonna be cool any like any chance I can or anytime I can dress up and like get cute like I love any anytime I can do that I'm down like to go out and um socialize or whatever go to an event or I'm sorry you guys this is bad this is bad um life updates my mom and sister visited me like was that last weekend they just came here for fun and we well they went to the beach the whole time um okay this is really bad I didn't come with notes I did save some things on Instagram I thought would be interesting to talk about like news and like current events I really enjoyed I was listening to it while I was cleaning today the um Mark Zuckerberg episode of the Joe Rogan episode I was like damn I I didn't

really know what to think about him before I listened to that and I was like everyone makes him out to be this like demon this like a lizard purse person demon that's like taking over the world or whatever but after listening that episode I was like oh like changed my mind a little bit or it made it like made him it humanized him I'd say that's what it did like that Rogan interview humanized Mark Zuckerberg for me because I didn't really I'm not really I don't know what it is I don't really keep up with shit anymore I'm not like like I'm like living my life doing my day-to-day thing and then here and there I'll see news headlines and like things that are going on in pop culture or like the whole Biden and the I think he just passed for um student loan

forgiveness like that's something that's happening right now but like I don't really deep dive or like get into what's going on out in the world anymore so like the only thing I've seen about Mark Zuckerberg recently is like metaverse is fucking stupid and he's like it's and he's a lizard person and shit so um so yeah I saved things on my phone here I'm just looking at maybe I'll talk about um I was thinking about this while I was brushing my teeth getting the banana flavor out of my fucking mouth before I started recording I was thinking about the the show I watched last night or the night before with my boyfriend called I think it was like selling OC like selling sunset but like it's selling OC

selling the OC yeah I was thinking about talking about how I had like a I got like really um what's the word like put off and just so annoyed and like it's not like I was mad I was just sitting there analyzing the behavior of the cast the entire time and I got triggered I was like I don't understand how people actually carry this personality type like in real life I know it's a TV show but like I've also recently met people with that personality type of the cast of the selling um OC or like selling sunset and like it's very LA it's very like pretentious and like airy fairy and like what's the best adjective to describe it kind of like it's like ditzy and like they really take the glitz and glamour the glitz and glamorous things

about life super seriously especially like real estate and clothes and cars and like they really like they're really sold on all of it and it really matters to them and then the way they talk the way they carry themselves the way they talk about other people and the way they gossip and fight on the show it's just like i was having a fucking mental breakdown like is this like how are people actually like this what in the hell is the psychology behind these types of people because I just can't I just don't get it I'm like is that it's like it's hard for me to relate and I'll say this when I moved who's texting me god damn it um any chance you can come over earlier so we can eat before we leave bitch I'm full of two bananas right now on my podcast it's my

boyfriend texting me he wants to know if I can come over earlier so we can eat before we go I'm like I will not be eating till tomorrow at 4 p.m okay those two bananas and I also had like what did I have this morning I had two coffees two bananas today I know that's not a lot of food but I had a giant chicken sandwich last night and fucking tater tots and a beer and I'm like good okay I'm I feel gross how do how does two bananas make me feel gross I was vegan at one point and I would eat like 10 a day I was on that freely freely the banana girl shit if you know you know if you know that era of YouTube with all those vegans eating just like fruit all day and then like 10 pounds of potatoes for dinner, like if you, if that, if that just, if you resonate or

that makes any sense to you, like, hi, that was me. Anyways. Um, yeah. Back to the selling the OC. I was like, Oh, I remember I was saying my mom, I remember when I moved to Southern California or maybe it was one time I was talking to her on the phone and I was like telling her about the type of people around here and like how it's so different than what I'm used to up in Washington and my hometown and she told me something that was like it always it always like sits in the back of my head and she says Jacqueline like stay in your lane like you don't have just because that's a common crowd that you're around now down in San Diego doesn't mean you need to like you should feel weird that you don't fit into it like just that's a different you those

aren't your people that's fine just stay in your lane stick to what you know um there's people out there that will feel better to be around that will you know make you feel more comfortable and I don't know I'm always like I'm so um what's the word can you hear that Jimmy's barking um and all that I guess all that like um that glamorous life that a lot of people live down here just doesn't it just doesn't it doesn't matter to me and I don't talk like like I even listen to podcast there's a lot of podcasts out there where it's like hi guys welcome back to the show like this is um Jamie and and Elizabeth and we're gonna talk about like the latest drama on the Love Island today and like they do like an entire episode of like whatever they talk about

but the voice the way they everything I just don't I can't I'm not it's not a it sounds like I'm judging it it's like I just it doesn't fucking feel good when I listen to it watch it or if I'm around it and I honestly and I suppose telling my boyfriend because I he was like is so are you okay like I'm watching the show really focused on each character and like really thinking about are they is this an act they're putting on or are they actually this way and um he's like yeah are you okay like what you're really quiet are you enjoying the show and I'm like no what was I gonna say um fuck um fuck I totally just like blanked when he barked um yeah I don't know if that makes sense to anyone or like if you feel that way too when you watch like certain shows

on tv certain reality shows with like people from southern California but it's just like I don't know maybe it's like I'm not very maybe that's like a more polished um sophisticated way to be and I'm just more tacky and unprofessional and like brash and you know more like that and fucking like I'm a bonfire what are you I used to say fuck okay I used to be like oh I'm a bonfire bitch like all I want to do is sit around a goddamn bonfire with a Coors Light and shoot the shit and hang and wear like Carhartt sweats and like like at my core like I am not glamorous I can put it on I can pour it on thick like I said I love dressing up I love putting on a cute outfit heels makeup like hair I fucking love it

but my personality does like if I see people out in the wild down here a lot of the times that you know I go to at a party with or like meet in public they're like that they might look like me but they're like hi it's so fucking ditzy and fake and I'm I don't I don't get it and oh this is what I was telling my boyfriend I remember now I was like am I is this a talking shit episode about people that are just like richer than me and like hotter than me and like more like famous and more cool than me like is that what this is all about I'm joking but like on paper like yeah that's probably what this looks like Jesus Christ I don't give a fuck I'm just I'm just one of the things I do hear a lot on the show if you're new is I I'm just naturally curious about human

behavior and like why people are the way they are and I do I talk about myself a lot like why am I the why am I why do I act this way why am I like this you know am I stuffed up does it sound like I'm congested god damn I'm late I need to sit up um so yeah that's kind of what this segment is so um apparently my grandma's like counting and tally marking how many times I say fuck each episode I'm joking I feel like my mom my mom just called me earlier and she's like yeah your grandma was listening to the episode you did with Corey and she said Corey only said shit two two times and you said fuck like 14 times I'm like does my grandma sit around while she listens to the episode with a fucking notebook with like a pencil doing the tally marks of how many f-bombs

I drop oh jeez um anyways I was telling my boyfriend while I was listening or watching the show I was like is it bad that like I don't take these type of people seriously at all like I can't even like if I met them if I were at the if I was at that like opening party I watched the first episode if you're like what episode was i watched the first episode of selling the oc if i was at that party they were at where they're all dressed up and like um you know doing like an a launch event or something like is it bad that i like can't it's almost like i want to fucking mock it what why am i like that why can't i just like accept it like it's okay again i'm not i am i am being judgmental like i feel it i hear it in my voice

like but it's almost like I can't take it seriously I just want people like those types of people the people I'm talking about on this show and a lot of reality shows I almost want to like shake them and be like is this how you talk to your mom on the couch at like 9 p.m when you're having a fucking breakdown on a Sunday night after after you had a family dinner is this how you act like is this actually your voice are you actually like this like that's what it seems like to me it's like a learned behavior everyone puts on they increase the octave voice they have this like slow like valley slur accent thing they put on and then it's I'm like is that actually you or is that like how you act when you're like on tv or in in crowds like this like I don't get it

so that's something I'm trying to like figure out in my head for no goddamn reason like it's literally driving me nuts and I'm I don't even know why I give it energy or attention but it makes me it piques my interest or like makes me um something I like I don't know I've recently started like thinking about after I watched that show and um I guess it's like a culture thing that's just a culture out there and a way of being that I don't fit into or I don't really vibe with and that's okay you know um it's I could probably sum it up as as that um but I don't know if anyone else feels that way when they watch reality shows but recently I'm like is this actually like are you I don't know I think it's social media too a lot

of people watch influencers and they watch the way they address the camera and their audiences and the way they talk and it's like everyone's reading from the same script now everyone is putting on that like valley accent and like like Kylie when she's showing off her fucking new makeup on her story and the way she talks. It's like, it's almost like everyone's kind of doing a version of that in their own way, but it all sounds, it's all starting to sound the same. So anyway, should I call my boyfriend back and put him on speaker? That might be fun. He's like, can you chat? Let's do an ambush here. Um, FaceTime. yeah i'll facetime him freak him out put my sunglasses on too

my blue sunglasses he's gonna be like what the fuck um it's gonna be a logistic this is all about like the logistics of the evening tonight so i don't know how to put it so that you can they can hear you you're on the podcast oh nice um to answer your question uh no i cannot come over earlier um i'm also not hungry copy that thanks for calling i put on those sunglasses i don't really need them right now um it's i don't know i need to put it here so they can hear you um it's going well i'm like maybe 20 minutes in and i'm gonna wrap it after after like an hour but are you on the first or second episode don't tell them what

i'm doing today oh no that's behind the scenes information oh yeah that's the juicy next episode i'm supposed to be doing well i'm behind a week so i have to do two in a day but i'm probably just gonna do this gotcha yeah all right well what are you feeling for dinner well if you're not hungry then i guess it doesn't matter right well you're hungry i'll probably just do nekosan alone you know the usual great i was actually going to do speaking of nekosan i was going to do a segment on the top 10 sushi restaurants in the united states oh yeah it's a great transition here i could give you at least five to maybe eight of Um, really, I can give you eight.

No problem. Yeah. Cool. Did you golf today? No, I have a banged up finger. Oh, that's right. Cut that bad boy. Um, so it's a little, not, not doing well.

Still healing. Just been hanging with the pump. Mr. Lumen. Are you comfortable being recorded, like recorded right now? Yeah. I thrive in it. Do you feel ambushed? No, I think it's perfect.

I like surprises like this. Good. Can you tell the audience what the surprise is tomorrow? Absolutely not, but I'll tell you what. Anyone that would go would say wow. It's a show. It's a wow. You said matinee at noon?

Matinee, be ready at noon. It's at 1230. and be ready for a while is it in this state it is oh yeah it's okay it is I really want you to do a riddle about it like a really hard riddle for me to solve or like I'm not going to probably solve it but it'll have me thinking about it'll only be a one word type of thing um didn't he say what'd you say last time health and treatments go a long long ways to finding the true happiness within your soul that's the riddle yeah health and happiness are you proposing to me

not yet we'll wait till episode 386 okay no do you want to know the truth i literally was like when you said i have a surprise this weekend you wouldn't tell me that though no I know I know I would be so I know um okay well I'm excited yeah is there gonna be like

drinks at the thing tonight probably yeah okay um okay I snacked on two bananas today this is why I'm not hungry for dinner and for some reason it made me so god damn full and

that's why I'm not hungry hungry well you're probably not hungry now you wouldn't be hungry in about two hours fuck me wait what time is it this is like all about logistics and everyone's listening to this hey well it's fine i can at least know what's going on in your head um yeah maybe in a couple hours okay wait can i should i come over at six yeah come earlier the better okay um by the way um my friend i met up with this morning i'm not saying her name on the episode but um she said that when she sees me post you on my instagram and like the videos and the pictures she goes you guys your energies match oh that's great

that's awesome i thought that was a really nice compliment very nice yeah so very very nice she's a smart lady well if she can see that through a phone screen that's pretty crazy i know yeah you must know how big your smile gets because mine is probably the same size all right well i'm just gonna keep going off oh i i bitched about selling the oc and the cast oh did you yeah and how i sat there and i was like you thought something was wrong with me but i was like in my head about how stupid these people sound when they talk well i mean i could tell when you start getting silent i was like what's wrong and you're answering with one word answers something's got to you there's those stupid bitches with their fake fucking valley

accents and their goddamn like oh my god yeah so yeah i was being a hater at the beginning of the episode all right well well thanks for the cameo i appreciate it you're welcome yeah it's your second appearance it's the second appearance first surprise thanks for throwing the curveball i know how to hit it do you want to say any yeah you do do you want to say anything profound before you go Fairways and Greens Clubhead outside the hands Clubhead outside the hands Anything profound before I leave

Well Do well to others Be a good person Make people laugh And travel as much as you can I thought you were going to say something sexual and inappropriate but we'll take it alrighty bye

wait no I won't say bye like that I was going to I wasn't sure if the family is hearing this oh my grandma listens so I try to make sure I'm at least PG-13 but yeah I could be rated R but you know

Corey my grandma apparently listened to our episode together and she counted how many times I swore versus how many times you did and she's like cory said shit one time jacqueline said fuck 14 times or something like that my mom told me that today i was like are you because she listens to the episodes that's funny so yeah well grandma's the best she's funny yeah she's smart yeah i don't think i did an update about how you met the family yeah i did i already talked about it okay well toodles see you soon toodles see ya bye

All right. Well, there, there you have it. Fat bitch summer. I'm eating in two hours again and I don't want to, but you know what? When the man's hungry, I don't have to eat. I could probably just nibble at whatever he's eating. We keep saying that we keep going out to eat and like, or like we had, so I haven't worked out once this week. This is so out of character from, or out of, what what what am I saying like I've been so routine and then I like got the spice rack I'm just gonna say should I just do a fucking episode on my boob job like should I just be out in the open about it and not be so like coy and like did I get it or did I not like am I gonna address it publicly or am I not like I don't know I was joking on a couple episodes ago

I was, like, a lot of you have been wondering what's going on. Yes, I got a new spice rack, okay? But anyways, I've been, what I'm saying is I've been so routine with my weightlifting and my working out for most of this year. And then when I got the spice rack in June, the boob job, I was, like, for a whole month I couldn't work out. I walked and that was about it. So, like, now I'm getting back into the swing of things very slowly.

and like my goal was like okay after six weeks i'm gonna go back and start lifting again like i'm i have enough um range of motion like i'm my surgeon's like he's like it's fine like just be careful with your upper body and your back like yes you can do your legs like do leg workouts focus on that you know uh do like stairmaster instead of running right now that kind of shit anyways um but yeah it's been a week we had a week a week off of working out together we usually go in the mornings and like we had fro-yo two nights in a row what else do we eat we had fucking sushi which isn't that bad but we eat so goddamn much of it last night we had like beer and tater tots and fucking burgers and like

i don't know why i'm complaining oh but what i'm saying is like we'll get fro-yo at like 10 30 p.m and and just like we're laying there next to each other in bed eating it watching fucking netflix we're like fat bitch summer I'm literally in like the best shape of my life right now so I don't know why I'm saying this or making a big deal about it but like it bought it's for my mental health like I notice that like I'm not as clear-minded as energized as happy if I'm not working out all the time so a week off like what the fuck is going on um I will be working out tomorrow morning. Um, I, I don't even know how that happened. Um, so, oh my God. Okay. Another show we watched. Am I going to do these? Okay. Let me look at my saved thing about like

the, um, podcast, Instagram posts. I saved American air coming out with a supersonic airplane in 2029. You can go from Miami to London in under five hours. A lot of people are like, oh, that's not probably going to happen. But there is a headline. What else do we have here? There's a conservative-only dating app called The Right Stuff set to launch next month. The app will be invite-only, have no pronouns. It features a lot of white people on its website. I don't know if this is real. The Peter Thiel funded dating app, The Right Stuff, is set to launch next month. The app is the brainchild of Ryan McKinney. Ryan McKinney,

I don't know who that is. Or better known as the sister of former Trump White House press secretary, Kayleigh McKinney. Oh, yeah. Okay. I kind of know who that is. Kayleigh McKinney. Is that how you say her name? Mackinney? Fuck. It's a weird spelling. Anyway, so there's going to be a conservative only dating app, invite only with no pronouns and a lot of white people launching next month called The Right Stuff. You heard it here fucking first. Heineken and shoe designer Dominic Sambone. That's another word I can't say. Sambone. They're releasing sneakers they'll let you take beer anywhere you go it's called walk on beer the bottom of the shoe has like they're like plastic containers you can like put or like what am i saying the bottom of the

sneaker is like a empty tupperware container looking fucking thing where you can put the beer in it that's coming apple's launching the iphone on the iphone 14 on september 7th how the fuck you guys how is it 2023 in like less than six months god um student loan forgiveness is actually happening um then uh do i need to end this this is getting a little train wrecky right now so for those with yearly incomes of less than 120 000 you get 10k and i think if you got the pell grant you get 20k um i don't really know how i feel about the student loan forgiveness i just feel like for any anyone out there that's had a payoff student debt know how knows how fucking shitty that is and how much it sucks and it's like just i i think

the argument is like you know what about all those people out there that paid off their student loans themselves and didn't get that government uh help like that you know it's what the fuck like they had to do it so everyone should do it but it's like in my opinion like we got in this shitty situation that we shouldn't have been in in the first place with student loan debt and i feel like like this should have never happened i don't know what the number is it's like trillions of dollars I think I looked it up the other day it was like one trillion a little more than that in student loan debt maybe less maybe it's billions I don't know I should get the fact straight before I fucking talk about it but um yeah I just I feel like it's gonna help a lot

a lot of these people that are making less than 125,000 dollars like that's gonna improve the the middle class I think or something like the workforce if they're not having to pay that off and they're getting a little help like it's gonna advance them a little bit more and like I don't give a fuck I'm like it's not but then I'm like I don't know where all that money's coming from and how this all works like sometimes when I talk about shit especially right now I'm like in my head I'm like I don't know shit about fuck it's not a quote from Ozark is that the I don't know shit about fuck is the ruth quote right like i'm talking out of my ass when i talk about like so wait if these people that have student loan debt that are making less than 125k a year

get 10 grand from the government to like go towards their student loan debt that's ten thousand dollars that they won't have to pay off which will help improve society because these people will actually i don't know fuck i'm gonna move on um but yeah once again like this is we're in a crazy ass situation here with the student loan debt like I don't know how we get out of it I don't know how it gets improved I I feel like this um isn't the first time there's been government aid like this okay um again like Jacqueline read a book like read some history look up the facts before you speak but it's just kind of my take like I think I was watching something or listening to something that was like

it's like saying someone with I was watching a podcast I think I fucking forget which one because a lot of people are talking about the student loan forgiveness right now and basically my fucking computer's gonna die hold on it's like you're hanging out with me and I'm just like we're on like FaceTime or we're on the phone and my phone's gonna die um jesus jimmy got out like 62 toys and put him all over the living room it's really cute i love when he self-plays like he makes his own fun okay i was like listening or watching a podcast i think it was leftovers from the h3 podcast it's like a series they do on it's a liberal podcast i i listen by

the way like one of the things I purposely do is I listen to all of it I listen to both sides of the argument I listen to all types of people that I disagree with or don't really um not that I I'm not like hardcore with my beliefs at all or nothing really ever pisses me off that much because I give I feel like everyone's got um everyone's coming from a good place and they mean they have good intentions when they talk about political things and um the way things should be in this society so it's like I don't their opinions are just different and they might oppose mine but it doesn't mean it's bad they're not bad people so what I'm saying is I was listening to this I'm pretty sure it was leftovers and one of the hosts was like the whole student

loan forgiveness thing is like if someone if a vaccine came out that cured cancer and all you had to do is get it shot in your arm and then you're cancer free it's like saying to those people that oh because I took chemo and I had to go through all this chemotherapy and radiation and like destroy my body to get rid of cancer you should too that's like saying it's like the same thing or like oh the slaves um I think this guy's name is Hassan I want to quote him or like this is coming from him um Hassan I believe is the host's name on this show or like um instead of or like saying to the when they abolish slavery like saying to the um what the fuck was it it was like saying to the oh we were slaves and so everyone you should still be a slave even though

i abolish slavery something like that i don't know something along those lines so that's what the student loan debt thing in my brain i'm like oh i get that i see that perspective like i understand why people are pissed i understand when people are for it um honestly doesn't really affect me, but I feel like I'm still talking out of my ass. So I did want to talk about a Netflix show, another one we watched. It now costs $300,000 to raise a child. Wall Street Journal. The cost of raising a child through high school has risen to more than three hundred thousand dollars because of inflation that is running close to a four decade high according to a brooking brookings institution estimate just an estimate but

it determined that a married middle-income couple with two children would spend three hundred ten thousand six hundred and five dollars or an average of eighteen thousand a year to raise their younger child born in 2015 through age 17 um the calculation uses an early government estimate as a baseline with adjustment for inflation trends the multi-year total is up twenty six thousand dollars and more than nine percent for a calculation based on the inflation rate two years ago before rapid price increases hit the economy um I was in CVS buying vinegar and sorry I'm stretching I was in CVS buying vinegar and like toothpaste and like butt wipes and shit um the other day and I was looking at the prices

in the I think it got body wash too um I was like for the first time I was looking at the prices of toiletries i don't know what that increases like on makeup and toiletries is it like what's the i should just google jacqueline fucking get someone to google shit while you're talking because jesus christ inflation um the site can't be reached come on google come on come on wi-fi come on wi-fi work with me bitch check the proxy for the firewall okay um yeah what I'm saying is I was walking through CVS I put white vinegar in my laundry loads because I work out my clothes get sweaty and one time my grandma or my mom told me that that's great for deodorizing and fucking you know freshening

up your clothes so like if you're out there and you want to you know switch it up and try something new in the laundry room i highly recommend white vinegar it's like 5.99 actually that's a price i was surprised by i'm like buying this vinegar i'm like i remember when this fucking gallon of vinegar was two dollars now it's 5.99 on sale at cvs what the fuck you know and i'm like then i was going through the toiletries and i'm like this goddamn bottle of shampoo is 9.99 like this Herbal Essences shit used to be like maybe six dollars or like less than that I remember when like bottles of shampoo I love Herbal Essences by the way if you're curious um I remember yeah bottles of shampoo were like three dollars four dollars maybe like just the cheap shit like I

don't know what it is about me but like I've tried this is my take on hair and my hair's on a I'm going through a hair journey right now because I used to be bleach blonde and it's been about a year and a half since I went brunette or about no it's been a year since I went brunette and like it's not a hundred percent back to its health and its full health but my take on hair what I'm getting to is that I've tried all the fancy shit think about it I've I'm I've been around on this planet for a long time what am I saying I'm I've been doing this like girl thing since fucking And I started putting makeup on and like, and doing my hair. I used to do, you know what?

I'll just put my, put this back to three years old. When I used to do dancing, my mama put like rouge on my cheeks. That's what she called it. Rouge and lipstick on me and fucking my hair up. And she put like 5,000 pounds of hairspray on it. Like I've been glamming my whole life, right? I've tried every product under the sun. When it comes to hair, I always go back to it.

it, because nothing makes, like, I always go back to the cheap shit, and those are my go-to products, like, your Pantene's, your Herbal Essences, your Tresemme's, your L'Oreal's, like, those are my holy, all my holy grail, like, favorite products are mostly, like, drugstore, and they're not fancy, they're not expensive, like, your Oribe's, your Away's, or your Kenra's, or, you know, those types of brands, so, um, anyways, but yeah, cheap shampoo used to be, like, five bucks, now it's, like, fucking 10, 1299 for fucking conditioner. Sorry. I'm swearing a lot, grandma. Um, so yeah, anyways, um, inflation's through the roof. It costs $300,000 to raise a kid now. Um, I was going to go through the top 10 sushi restaurants in the United States. I thought that might be a fun

segment because I've been eating so much sushi with Corey. Like that's our thing. Like we go to sushi like at least once a week and it's always at the same place. Um, yeah, I've never, eaten so much sushi in my life and i'm like i have a sushi obsession right now so and we watched i finally watched the jiro i think it's called jiro dreams of sushi documentary on netflix it's fucking great i heard that that was like a really good one to watch but it really makes you appreciate sushi and um yeah so i wanted okay we watched i'll probably end the show with this because I need to I need to shave my legs and get cute for tonight for this I think it's like a an old tv show's cast or not cast crew is having a reunion and we're going to

it I think that's what it is if I remember right and then the surprise tomorrow is some matinee at noon and then he said that whole riddle about like health and happiness and I don't really know it's a matinee I think it's like we're going to a show maybe it's like a and then I I don't know what it's maybe we're going to the zoo because I've never been I don't know so yeah tomorrow we're having he surprised me we're going somewhere tonight we're going to some like event a reunion party thing um so yeah anyways I need to get ready for that um I feel like doing a hundred air squats and like I need to get whenever I feel too full like after I eat I literally had two bananas someone out there explained to me why I feel like a whale

right now like whenever I like eat and I'm like too full like I feel like a hundred air squats and just some movement like anything a walk some air squats some fucking push-ups some jumping jacks just get the you need to get the blood flowing I feel like that's what I need to do after this. Um, and make a coffee so I can shit it all out. I mean, I feel like that's probably why I feel so full. Cause I can't tell you the last, okay. You know what? We're not going to go here. I actually had nervous shits before I went and saw my friend this morning. I hadn't seen her in four and a half years. And it's like, why did I get anxiety and like fucking diarrhea at 7am before I went to go see her? Like, it was like crazy. I'm like, my body was like, Oh my God,

Oh my God. Oh my God. And then, yeah, Jesus Christ. The test, if you want to know if you've met the one or like the person for you is like, when you're shitting, do you want them to come sit on your lap? Because you want to be close to them at all times. Like if you feel, if that's like what you, if you are that close to someone or like that comfortable with someone, I think that's it's kind of the test or like that's the best thing that's that's maybe that's not for everyone I haven't done that with him yet but I've mentioned it and I mean it's one of those things where there isn't a single thing we talked about this last night I don't know why I'm gushing about my boyfriend once again it's like a year ago I was talking about someone else then we broke up

and I'm talking about someone new and I'm like actually in love with the person like in actual real love with a person and that's all I can do to not talk about him okay like just everybody welcome to my life this is what i do on the show i talk about it it's like a pretty intimate conversation i have here publicly and i realize that like if you listen to my show consistently over time like you might feel like you really know me and like we're actual internet besties or whatever the fuck people say now but i like that i like when i i listen to people or watch their podcast I feel like yeah I know them like it's a cool feeling and um I mean you don't actually know me but like you're you know up to speed on my life you probably relate to me

agree with or disagree or whatever I think what I talk about is interesting or entertaining I don't know, but, um, I told him last night, God, I was just, like, there isn't a single thing about you that annoys me, or rubs me the wrong way, or that I have to, like, pretend like I don't see every time you do it, or, like, every, like, there isn't a single thing about him that I'm like oh like that's like a quirk that's a little awkward that you have or like the way you do this task is strange or like bitch or like um like yeah he's not a he's not a fucking puss I feel like I've been dealing with a lot of fucking pussies in my life and I'm like finally I'm dating a man someone that's like got a set and he doesn't he doesn't like

act like a little bitch about things like I don't know what I was doing before or like I was I was always kind of settling for like personality quirks that really annoyed me and I get annoyed by little things I think maybe that's my um I feel like everyone's like this like there's certain things that give you the ick or like you're just kind of like like you can't unsee and every time they do that you're like fuck but you're like oh well other they have these other amazing qualities and like you know you kind of focus on that instead but with him what I'm saying is like with him I'm like there's absolutely nothing you do

that annoys me and that is rare I've never found that I've always kind of along the way things started racking up where I'd be like okay they did this that's a little annoying or I think the way they acted like a little five-year-old girl when they stubbed their toe like canon see that like the way they I don't know um but yeah shitty what did I say oh I know let's back this up I was like oh then I'm gonna make a coffee bananas you guys what is this episode okay I'll end with this we watched the documentary on Manti Teo on Netflix um what's what's the series called like I think it's called Untold

and holy shit I guess I was in high school during that time when it all went down I don't know if you know the story but Manti Teo was a linebacker from Hawaii who played at Notre Dame and while he was at Notre Dame he got involved with a girl on Facebook they were like pen pals that turned into like it was like a romance like a an internet thing where they were like internet boyfriend and girlfriend and he would like tweet about her and um long story short he was getting catfished by this guy who was also was it Samoan is that what they were was he Samoan am I getting that right Hawaiian Samoan I think it was Samoan I think he was yeah this other this the guy who was catfishing him wanted to be a girl made a fake Facebook profile

of a girl that she went to high school with used all of her pictures catfished this guy the whole time and then like faked an illness faked a car crash like ended up faking her death and then coming back to life and like it's this whirlwind of a story where I was like I was so hooked and i would highly recommend if you don't know anything about that story about that football player and that um whole um thing like go watch it on netflix because i was like damn i think the ultimate ending of that would be the real girl the girl he thought was cute in the pictures that i mean the guy catfished him like talked in a girl voice on the phone so like he didn't and he even or like what am i saying the guy that catfished mantai teo

um she is now so he is now a she um she transitioned or he transitioned into a woman like so like that ended up being the all these years later he wanted to be a woman she's finally a woman if that makes sense um but i think the ultimate crazy spin on this would be the girl he thought was cute that he claimed or thought was his online girlfriend that girl in real life and him falling in love like if that happened that'd be crazy like they they actually met um but yeah go watch it on Netflix I think it's called I forget Manti Manti Teo now is like married with her cute kid he played at the Chargers i don't really know much about his football career after notre dame saints

um yeah it's called untold the girlfriend who didn't exist now streaming on netflix this just came out this month i think but highly recommend watching it if you want to it like hooks you in it's really good yeah and it's weird i don't remember like it happened during high school my um guys i need to like sit up this is like my my toxic trait is literally finding any pore on my body that looks slightly clogged and picking the hell out of it like i wanted to wear jean shorts tonight it's not gonna happen okay legs are red i was sitting here talking about that story picking god knows what on my leg pulling a scab off of something that i think is a cut i had and um yeah that's my toxic trait i was even talking to my friend about this morning like

i have a picking problem apparently it's a trauma response or something like a lot of people childhood trauma develop picking addiction or something or picking compulsive behavior um i try not to touch my face so if my body has little things i'm like all right it's go time baby it's fucking go time especially oh my biggest thing about my boyfriend the one thing he doesn't have unfortunately is back knee so if you know anything about or if you've listened the show for a while one of my one of the things I used to say if like if a guy I'm dating has back knee that bumps them up a couple levels or like it's a huge bonus because that means I get to go to town on his back and like um have fun like that whenever i want whatever um

it's weird how like this should i stay on here it's like i'm not even fucking ashamed or embarrassed but like how did i get that's another thing i could unpack right now it's like how did i get like this how the fuck did i get so like I became this like open book all of a sudden when I started podcasting like I never had before and nothing about what I do here is like calculated curated like trying to be a or try I'm not trying to like portray myself in a specific way that I actually like I think before I was really like tight about how I put myself online it was really like yeah calculated about it and I tried to curate this aesthetic or like this way of being that now I'm like I don't even

whatever this is literally like I always say a fucking phone call I'm picking up the phone we're having a conversation like we're friends putting the phone down next week you get to hear from me again like whatever you know it's um but sometimes I say shit I'm like I feel like yeah most people think that's embarrassing or most people be like what the fuck I can't believe you just admitted that or like I just I don't know why I've been saying this a lot lately I'm like you got one life okay you have one life like connection is huge and this life is like all about connecting with people and like make and having like beautiful relationships with people and I think and I listened to Zuckerberg talk about this today he goes I think of the physical world and the

virtual world are yeah they're two separate things but now I don't know if you said it like this but I'll just say I'll phrase it kind of how I think about it I feel like when you think about a human being now a lot of the things you think about them are directly from the virtual world they're coming your brain is thinking about them or the the your impression of them your relationship with a lot of that is coming from the virtual world and so I'm just down I'm like look I'll be a I'll be a content creator I'll do this thing I'll fucking put myself out there because a lot of people um that I listen to and follow do the same thing and I fucking love it and I think it's I've over I've overcome so many of my personal battles by being completely

raw and honest on here and just saying just purging everything like I'm talking to my mom or like a therapist like there's so much freedom and not giving a fuck and I feel like that's a hurdle most people need to cross with themselves and I just happened to cross it in my mid-20s and I I'm so I don't know how this all happened it's kind of like it was like a divine thing where everything all the stars lined and I decided to do a podcast but I would I want that for everyone else so like I hope maybe I'm a source source of inspiration for for you out there if you're listening and you're all clammed up and worried about shit that doesn't matter because like most people do and most people that are miserable focus on the little problems in life and the

little things and they don't zoom out enough and look at the big picture and I think that's just my default setting at this point I fucking zoom out I'm like well that sucked you know I stubbed my toe but I'm not dead that's a horrible maybe that's a horrible perspective to have but like I almost sum up everything in this life whenever shit hits the fan and goes wrong or something doesn't work out or I'm stuck in traffic or my car gets towed or like I get a parking ticket I'm just thinking of car shit I'm like yeah that sucks I'm not dead okay like there's always a everything gets solved there's always a solution to everything and um I don't re I think god is this life advice at the end yes it is I have an hour and a half to get to his house fuck um

for this dinner I don't even want to eat life advice at the end here um what am I saying zoom out look at the big picture don't make mountains out of molehills um what's helped me the most like I really thought I was onto something there and I totally went sideways and forgot yeah it's a lot of like not giving a shit for real what people think about you there's always a little bit of that hanging in the air okay I can't say that's ever eliminated 100% I feel like everyone will no matter how much you think you don't give a shit what other people think about you here and there that'll fly in a little bit into your brain when you're out in

an event and you're meeting new people you're making first impressions you do have a little bit of like there's a thought and I'm still I still have that here and there but I'm so much more comfortable in my skin and confident than now that I've ever been because I've I think most of that like worry and fear and social anxiety that I used to have and like um that feeling like I was getting judged and people were really they were always thinking about me and what I was doing how I looked how I acted like nobody's fucking thinking about you that's another thing that's freeing to think about when you're walking down the street when you're in the fucking grocery store when you're at a party no one's thinking about you no one's like actually like sitting

there ruminating over how you are how you're acting or what you're saying or what you're doing and if they are it's like short-lived it's in the brain they might make a comment to their friend and gossip and then two seconds later it's done it's like and then it's like you wouldn't want to be friends with those types of people anyways but they're talking shit about you but like yeah I don't know maybe what was the freedom thing for me um that like the number one thing I stopped being I noticed that too much introspection and being overly um yeah overly introspective was in theory it's like oh I want to figure myself out I want to understand why I am the way I am but I had an epiphany where I was like it's not that fucking

deep there's nothing wrong with you you're fine like you don't need to you know deep dive into every area of your personality and like diagnose your or like go see a therapist or a psychiatrist what was I saying earlier about getting a psych evaluation um I honestly just want to know like what would a professional like I've had I've had someone I've had therapists before but haven't had someone like do a psyche about me I really want to know what a professional would say about me. Like, um, probably that nothing's, I'm just curious. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with me personally. Like, I think I have all these, like, um, maybe some personality quirks or like maybe some ADD or whatever, but nothing that's like, oh my God, I have, it's like a

challenge in my life that I need to address or it's like affecting my life. No, but I'm very blessed to even say that but yeah too much introspection I think I watch and I'll say this I do follow certain people on Instagram for the sole purpose of like research and I go like there's a certain person I follow you can go to my following list to try to figure this out where I'm like every day is a sob story it's not even like they're just a downer about themselves and they're like I'm learning to let go of the way I talk to myself talk about myself a little I'm like learning to release the chin and I did this light therapy the other day and I discovered this and it's just like back to what I think it's not that deep maybe it works for some people maybe

that's a necessary process for some people to heal but like for me I realized that it's it honestly makes you feel like in my experience like more shitty about yourself and I just want the other route I'm like I'm the shit I'm fine nothing's wrong with me I'm cool I've got a dope personality and life and I have my shit together and I know what makes me happy and I do that and I focus on that and like I just went more um I guess instead of being like instead of like treating it with all the remedies and the the like healing things instead of like going that route I was just like I just went like into full like positivity optimism mode where I'm just in like almost like off I went I went like I don't fucking know you just like puffed my chest like

a gorilla and I was like stop Jacqueline get out of your head stop thinking you're fine and I and I figured out that like that's true like oh nothing's wrong with me and I think a lot of times you follow people on the internet back to what i was saying where you watch them ruminate about themselves and like talk about their you know the things that they're struggling with and it's like you think that that's you too and it's like no it's not and i think it's a vicious cycle for those people where they like honestly it's how they like sharing their problems publicly is like it's like part of their identity at this point and they love to I mean is that what I do here on the show it's weird I don't know I just again I feel very um I'm like

you know it's kind of fucked up I'll just admit it like sometimes my boyfriend will look at each other and we're like why can't everyone be like like because he's exactly like me just in a male body and like I'm like why can't people why can't everyone just be like us like we're just we just figured it out we're like fucking solid in the head common sense we're we're the shit and like it's not I'm not saying that in like a cocky way it's just like I'm saying it because what I recognize from being around a lot of people and interacting a lot of people over time is that I feel like I have a my life is a lot easier and I'm genuinely happier because a lot of because I've eliminated a lot of the bullshit in my brain that most people might still

have that's keeping them down and that they focus on and they get in this loop about and like i think once you like actually eliminate that and you don't focus on those things and you don't focus on the little things in life you you have like a like solid perspective on what's important in life and you really like like lean towards that it's just the best like and i'm like why can't everyone just be like not that i'm better than other people it's just like i've figured it out I don't know how it gets any better than this I don't I honestly don't and I and I say this all the time I'm like I feel like I'm living my dream life genuinely I'm like and it all comes it all starts and ends in the head in the mind and if you don't figure that out for yourself if you've got

shit in your head that you're constantly struggling with year after year after year like cross that hurdle get through that figure that out whatever that looks like for you if you do those you know therapies and crystals and the fucking light therapy and the whatever meditation and another country and like go to these things like do whatever you need to do to figure it out but in my experience like hyping yourself up telling yourself you're the shit being confident about who you are being your biggest cheerleader like hyping yourself up every night being like there's nothing wrong with me because really there isn't you're perfect like no one tells you that shit no one's like I mean yeah we all have yes there are some things yes you need to work on okay I'm

not saying that but for the most part it's like if you tell yourself positive things over and over and over again eventually you won't think they're that you're that you have shit wrong with you you'll find out that you really never did you were just you were just mean to yourself you talked a lot of shit to yourself all day you thought you had a lot of problems you didn't even have so anyways I need to I need to get going um I'm getting texts from the fam my brother is saying what the fuck something's going down let's air out the laundry publicly oh my sister it's bodybuilder she's mowing the lawn

she um she's mowing the lawn she sent a picture of her muscles she's in a thong and some fucking shit kicker like i think those are romeo boots most dairy farmers wear when they're kicking shit around when they feed cows and she's looking jacked as fuck so um shout out to my sister julia for the laugh um i love mowing the lawn that's one thing I'm jealous about she she's still back in Washington she gets to mow my mom's my mom's lawn and I'm like I miss mowing the lawn I do miss mowing the lawn all right that's it um thanks for hanging out thanks for tuning in please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now um I'm on Apple Spotify wherever you listen to podcasts I think that's where everyone mostly

listen stitcher breaker google podcast yeah there's a lot of platforms but go subscribe wherever you're listening right now the parking police is close to my car right now that is not parked that is parked in a red line i need to i need to leave um i will be getting a parking ticket 100 god damn it um fuck i gotta get going but please subscribe wherever you're listening right now and follow me on Instagram at Jacqueline Monroe, TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe. If you want to support the show for $5 a month as a donation to your local podcast host, that's all you're doing. You're not getting anything in return. It's patreon.com. I don't even know why I prefaced this. It's a tip jar. If you enjoyed your time with me today and you want to tip me five bucks

a month, patreon.com slash TJMS, patreon.com slash TJMS. If you want to support the show in my podcasting career go check it out um fuck now the mailman's talking to this parking meter guy so that's buying me some time to move my car but god damn it um this ticket will be like 75 bucks if I don't move it right now so I gotta go love you guys thanks for hanging out and I'll talk to you next week bye