The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 322- Happy Fall

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

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what's up guys it's episode 322 welcome back to the show Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. Hi. Hi, if you're new. Hi, if you're returning. Please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now, and yeah, let's just get into it. I feel really, I feel over-prepared today, which is not how things usually go. I usually press record and wing it the entire episode, but I'm looking at a two-page Google Doc for today's episode, and I'm really proud of that. I took my time, got prepared, um, I listed out all these segments I want to do and we're going to just, yeah, I want to jump right into it.

Did I ask you to subscribe yet? Yeah, I did. Uh, yeah, please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now. And if you want to support the show, it's, uh, $5 a month over at patreon.com slash TJMS patreon.com slash TJMS. Go check it out. Another way to support the show that really helps me. got lowballed. Someone gave me a one-star review on Spotify. I'm at a 4.2 right now. I'm not excited

about that. Hi, if you're listening, thank you. If you want to support the show or another way to do it is review the show and you can do that over on the Apple or Spotify apps and just scroll on the show and find the review button and hit, please hit five stars. What the fuck? I mean, if you're here, if you're listening, if you're making it, if you've made it this far, I mean, so far it's been a five-star episode so things are looking good I'm feeling yes very prepared and yeah it's gonna be a good show I've got um life updates I've got news a lot of current events I'm going to talk about I've got life advice I'm going to share something I love something that pisses me off a fun fact and then we're going to end with a fall quiz because it's my favorite season it's

fall. It's gourd season. There's just, there's pumpkins everywhere. Pumpkin shit flavored everything, uh, or pumpkin spice flavored everything. Yeah. It's a great, it's a great season. I think fall is definitely my favorite season. So we're going to talk about like fall stuff at the end. Um, yeah, but what the fuck? I got a one star, sorry. Yeah. I got a one star review and I'm like just seem like maybe it's something I said about guns a few episodes back or Andrew Tate I'm really like surprised so I don't do I want to talk about Andrew Tate right now bring that all up again I don't know I had some hot takes about him on a few episodes back and it's literally like if you go on my Instagram I have these reels I made of like that episode

and I mean people liked it people like what I said but I feel like it's kind of like looking back and like I can't believe I'm I'm leaving that up there but that's how I am I don't I feel like yeah I can change my mind at any moment but I still what I said I still like I believe in what I said and I'm not going to change my mind on that just because he got canceled now or whatever um anyways so shit how do I start uh life updates so the last episode was titled my dirty little secret because I revealed to everyone that I've been keeping my little vaping addiction to myself for the last not like I needed to share it publicly like who fucking cares but I've been keeping my vaping thing on the DL like I don't you would

never know that I vaped but I did and I gave it up so my dirty little secret was I was addicted to nicotine and my vape and I my life update today is that I am I'm on day 12 of no nicotine I feel great I feel I definitely feel like healthier when I work out like I did the assault bike this morning and I could tell my lungs were like there was a big improvement from a week ago so because I did it last Sunday so yeah I'm on day 12 no nicotine that's my life update i'm on month four with my boyfriend cory as immature as that sounds like we we keep track right and it we just hit our four months and that's really exciting um am i gonna whiz through these i feel like this could be a quick episode why not make it an hour not two hours like why

not make this quick um i watched the fight last night the canelo triple g fight um it was a good time we went over to Corey's friend's house and hung out and watched it um is this like boring why do I feel okay I don't know I need to like spice things up um you know what I mean like I'm I have an itinerary I'm sticking to the topics but like or the segment topics but like you know like I feel like usually when I free flow it it's like more I go on a tangent immediately and it's just it's like more fun but let me just knock here's the thing if if you're a listener from two years ago now by the way I also celebrated my two-year podcasting anniversary last episode I've been doing this for two years when I started I did it seven days a week for 300 days

in a row and I used to do this 24-hour update segment where I would tell you what happened since I last talked to you so that's the whole like the idea here is that I'm giving you my like life updates from the last week I don't know what the fuck I'm like am I I look my energy right now as a host like this is not typical normal of me I feel very like am I being shy with you like I don't know what the you know what I mean I feel shy why do I feel shy um weird so it's just I think what's weird to me is I'm out of the flow with these um podcast notes I don't usually do this and I feel like I'm just like reading off a list and it's like clunky so let me know if you like the structure after this episode um we're trying

something new I haven't done this in a while we're gonna go down this list again I watched the fight last night Canelo won I also um watched a couple before that there's this young like 22 year old his name's like bam rodriguez i think that's his like nickname bam he was really good um yeah i'm like into boxing i think it's cool it's fun to watch um we ate some really good pizza and his friend's daughter made us cookies i had like eight of those um it was a good time trying to think what else happened um Yeah. So, so I watched the fight last night. So here we go. I'm on day 12, no nicotine. I'm on month four with my boyfriend, Corey. We're going strong. And I watched the fight last night. Okay.

Go, go Canelo, go boxing, go sports. Yay. Go Seahawks. I'm wearing my Seahawks hat today. Um, it's football Sunday. I hope your teams are winning right now. I hope you're making all that money. If you're betting on whatever, like, um, sports, love sports, love watching it. You know, I am a big football fan. I really only care about the Seahawks. Um, should I insert this right now? Cause I kind of feel I'm in my head about it. I'll, I'll tell you in a sec, maybe. Um, so, okay. I went on a sushi double date Friday. I wrote sushi double date Friday. This is fucking boring. Okay. I got sushi on Friday at our favorite sushi spot. It's called Nico-san, uh, Nico-san Sushi in La Jolla, um, we ate our faces off, um, I have been working out at the gym, I don't think I can do this, I really don't, I fuck, I can't do this, I don't think the, the, the, the, the, the fucking, oh my god, the listing is, is good for me, um, so yeah, I've been working out at the gym,

I've been hitting the gym really hard um I feel good I feel healthy I feel strong I said it on the on the last episode that now that I quit nicotine I'm like I really want to see what I'm capable of like I know that that was I wasn't being honest with myself but honestly over the last like six months when I would work out I would feel a little like my deep I wasn't deep breathing like my my lungs my breathing is all sorts of fucked up because of the nicotine and and vaping 24-7. So now that I've quit, I'm starting to notice like how I'm more calm when I'm working out. My breaths are deeper. They're like, my exhales are longer. I feel like my, um, I have like more stamina. I don't know. So yeah, I've been working out a lot lately. I've

been doing, um, I'm at this new gym. I joined Corey's gym and they have this setup where you can do hip thrust and it's so it's like the best thing ever because at my old gym I had to like set it up myself I had to like use a normal bar and the bar the the setup the the um the what's it called the hip thrust setup at this gym is perfect it's got there's like a I don't even know how to explain it it's like made for hip thrusting so I've been doing a ton of glute stuff because that's what my body responds the best to. And I feel like I can just like lift super heavy and see results from glutes out of any other workout. Or like, I mean, I could do back probably and get my back super jacked, but I'm not trying to do that. So I mostly like, do I sound like a dumb? I feel

like I'm talking like a ditz. Um, so a lot of booty days, a lot of thrusting, a lot of hip thrusts. So basically what I'm telling you is I have a fat ass. I'm growing it really big and I'm really proud of that and I've been hitting the gym hard and I'm also proud that I I'm just like yeah honestly I'm really proud that I'm on I'm on episode 322 what the fuck you know what I mean like what's going on you know what's going what's happening like it's crazy um I gave my next life update is I gave Corey his birthday gifts I mentioned last week that I got him this knife i do have it on set here today it's a bench made turret knife um i got it from cabela's and he has the same one and i have to return it so i thought he was going to keep it i think i mentioned on the

last episode show on camera go to youtube or spotify to watch i thought he was going to keep it because he has the same one in montana and he said oh because i already told him that i got him got it for him um because I was like what the fuck you have this I saw it in Montana when we just visited and I was like oh no shit like I just got this for your birthday and you have you already have it so anyways thought he was going to keep this one in San Diego but it's actually not the right it doesn't have a spring on it it has like a clicky thing so he was telling me that it's not ideal because when shit goes down you you want to be able to like open it fast and it's kind of hard to open fast so um I can't believe I'm just like

fucking with this on like is this I don't know what the rules are like can you show weapons on online it's it's a knife I mean you can literally cut um it's like if like it's not that it's not like a gun right like this is fine um so yeah I gave him his gifts and it's like what do you so so I got him this knife I'm returning it got him like I got him like 25 things I swear and like half of them haven't arrived yet so I'm giving him a second wave of gifts um I'm actually putting it all together today after I record because it's all getting like a bunch of stuff's getting delivered today but anyways the one I wanted to tell you about the present I got Corey that I want to tell you about is um it's like what do you get a man for his birthday that has

everything you get them a shit test okay I got Corey a Viome gut intelligence test which is basically a kit that they send you in the mail Viome and it has a little vial in it has a it comes I've done it before I did like two years ago you put this thing in your toilet you take a shit it catches the shit on it so that it doesn't go in the water then you take this tiny little like um it's like a mini shovel they give you you shovel your shit like a little like honestly the size of a p not very big and you put it in this vial with a solution in it and you shake it put that in an envelope like a ups envelope they they give to you in the in the kit and then you ship it to like i think it's in texas i think their headquarters are in like austin or something

I'm not quite sure. Um, anyways, so then you do that and then you get your results back about your microbiome and like how you're, um, if you're super inflamed or if you're good or whatever. And it tells you like which foods you should eat, which foods you should avoid, which foods are like your super foods. Like I found out when I did it a couple of years ago that I shouldn't eat spinach anymore I shouldn't eat almonds I shouldn't eat I think shellfish there's a few other things obviously dairy sugar refined sugar um but my superfoods were like rice bananas bok choy goji berries I think what was the other one um what the fuck was the other one there was like some random ones but yeah it tells you all this

information about, um, like, yeah, your gut and which foods you should eat. So I got him that for his birthday. That's what I'm saying. It's like, what do you get a man who has everything? It's a great gift idea, honestly. Um, or if you're like, what should I get? It's like that whole 23andMe thing or, um, it's just like a cool test. Cause I think it's really good. I think it's good to know like which, like, it's cool to know which foods you should eat and which you should avoid because I don't know maybe you're feeling all messed up right now and you're like what's going on I think I feel like I eat healthy and then you might find out that broccoli's fucking your stomach up or like you shouldn't eat any more chicken or like for now your gut changes

um obviously depending on like your like I feel like yeah it's not always gonna be the same like parts of the year you're like good parts of your constipated parts of your like you have the watery shits for two months and you're like what the fuck's going you know what I mean like shit happens uh literally and it's good to know so take a Viome test uh this is not sponsored I do I'm a big fan of the company they were actually a past client um when I worked at my old company and I got to interview the um CEO Naveen and he's a really cool guy and big fan of Viome yeah once again Viome.com slash okay that'd be a cool sponsor honestly um i just realized i haven't been shit on yet

like speaking of shit like i okay i don't know like have you been has a bird ever shit on your head i feel like i just realized that's never happened to me what does that mean is doesn't that mean like it's like a sign of something or it's like a good luck thing or i don't know um yeah another life update so i got him a shit test okay fine it's called i am um drinking my coffee protein shake if you're curious in this cup um um another life update a couple things so like i said i've been with cory four months now things are going incredibly well. He's my best friend. Um, just, I remember here's, here's how

it's like, here I am again, talk about my relationship. I watch a lot of podcasts and one of my favorites is, um, your mom's house with Christina Pajitsky and Christina P and Tom Segura and their husband and wife duo. They have a podcast. And their banter is my favorite thing ever. And I'll sit and watch that for, like, three hours straight. Instead of watching a Netflix show at night, like, I'll turn on your mom's house and I'll sit and watch it. And I had a thought a while ago, I don't know, maybe a couple years ago. I was like, it'd be so cool to meet someone.

Or, like, my ideal partner would be, like, I would want to have, oh, my God. Like, say it, Jacqueline, come on. like I want what they have if that makes sense where they're both they're both obviously comedians and they have this banter that flows so well and it's just like it's its own little thing and I feel like I found that I found someone that's like they make me laugh they're actually funny they're like super inappropriate like me they have the dark humor thing they're just very uh they're you know they're like a like me and a man's body if that makes sense and we value humor we value laugh like it's a big part of our life and I recognize yeah when I

watched watched um your mom's house when I first started watching I was like that would be cool to find someone um that I could see myself put on a microphone like or co-hosting the podcast with and just shooting the shit and having that kind of flow. So yeah, it's super, super crazy that I feel like I found someone that's that we have that. And so crazy. Oh my God. I'm, am I hitting a wall? It's 2 20 PM on Sunday. I've been getting ready for the last four hours. If you can't tell, I have 42 pounds of makeup on my face. I even did the chest. Okay. I'm really pale right now. my hands if you look at my hands versus my I mean smoke and mirrors baby showbiz this is a showbiz um the reality of showbiz like a lot of smoke and mirrors um so I'm in a wall what am I saying

so yeah I'm like super stoked I found a boyfriend that's really like funny and I have a good time with oh my god how interesting great for you to know right that was so worth your time thank you for sitting through that with me. Um, speaking of Corey, there's a couple of things that, yeah, in the last four months that have, um, happened. Um, I started shaving my face because of him, because one day he mentioned that he could see my peach fuzz on my cheek and it made me insecure immediately. And I shaved my face. I started shaving my face after that. And now I'm going to be shaving. Speaking of shaving, I'm going to be shaving my nose hairs. Now he pointed out that he can see my nose hairs. I don't shave my nose hairs. So now life update, I'm shaving my nose

hairs. Haven't done that my entire life until I went to court. So basically the way this all went down was we were in the bathroom and he was shaving his face and he started doing his nose hairs. Then I was looking in the mirror at my nose hairs and I was like, huh. I was like, do I need to do this too? Like, do you see my nose hairs? He's like, oh yeah. Like he was very quick to say, yeah like no has like I can see them yes you do need to shave your nose your nose hairs like it was like he's been thinking about it he's noticed it and this was his chance to tell me like Jacqueline shave your fucking nose you know it's weird to reflect on here's the thing about me like I don't give a fuck if a man tells me hey you're hairy bitch shave like I don't even care

I agree like I don't want to have hairs coming out of my nose I appreciate his advice or his input um but what's weird to reflect on is like literally every time I've started shaving a part of my body was because of a man this is crazy like I'd say like most so my was it was because of a man saying something about my hair my body hair like when I was on the school bus in elementary school there was this kid named I think it was my babysitter's brother named Adam and he used to tease or it was always the older boys on the back of the bus would like tease me about my leg hair because I used to wear uh like a skirt a uniform to school and it was always like a score or like a plaid skirt and I'd have like little white socks on and little like Mary Jane

shoes and my legs were exposed most like a lot of the time when I would go to school on the bus you could like literally just sit next to me and be like okay that bitch has a hairy has hairy legs and they would always tease me about it and it got to the point where it's like fuck I think when I was 11 I asked my mom I think I don't know how it went down but I'm pretty sure I was like hey can I start shaving my legs and I don't know why I had to ask for permission it's kind of like how you did things when you were a kid and I started to shave my legs as the boys on the bus made me insecure about my goddamn leg hair and I noticed it too but like you if you see like young girls like that haven't shaved their legs yet it's fucking long okay and I have dark hair so um

yeah and then my arm hair I started shaving my arm hair because of my brother he used to he used to make fun of me for how hairy my arms were and I again like here's the thing when he told me that I was like fucking pissed right I was like fuck you like be nice like how dare you you know but then I did it and I was like shit this looks better thank you like same with my boyfriend with my nose hairs it's like hey shit I didn't realize I got nose hairs hanging out thank you or even the face shaving like recently when he brought it up like hey I can see all the peach fuzz and I used to let that shit fly like I didn't really care I didn't see it as like a like it didn't look I just kind of I got used to seeing it so I didn't think about it

but now that he told me like hey my I can see your peach fuzz and you know and I started shaving I'm like shit looks better thank you you know I I don't know I'm not the type of person if you can't tell I just don't really take things that serious or like deeply and make it like oh I'm offended like when you're a kid obviously you're like that made that hurt my feelings a little bit when the boys would tease me but now that I'm older I'm like thank you it's just like I don't give a fuck it looks better I agree with you thanks for telling me like um that's the thing I like about guys they're straight up they're not passive-aggressive they're not like they won't lie to you um well boys do boys do lie to you that's not 100% I mean anyone can lie boys

and girls but um it's not like they're always 100% truthful no one is um well it's good to be truthful it's good to be oh my god that's another thing he's uh the white lies I have this bad habit where I feel like I make everything a joke to the point where like I'll quickly like joke and lie about something and then two seconds later take it back but then he's like are you being like was that a joke like I gotta watch that because sometimes it's about serious things and he doesn't know if like what the truth is until I like really tell him like hey I was just fucking around I wasn't lying like or I was lying about that but as a joke not like as a I wasn't trying to be serious but I deadpan I say things with a straight face and I feel like it's a bad

habit and I need to like work on that especially but anyways oh my god where are we at I life update I'm shaving my nose hairs okay cool um let's move on to the next segment um we're gonna talk about news um things that I've missed so currently as I'm podcasting Hurricane Fiona is taking out puerto rico and they are 100 without power um that's straight off cnn.com this is happening right now live from cnn hurricane fiona is taken out the caribbean it's puerto rico is out of power um i don't know the severe severity of it i could do some more research right now what kind of size she is um I mean from the aerial view of this um weather channel graphic it's looking it's looking pretty bad I mean it is hurricane season

um doesn't apply to me but shout out or my heart goes out shout out shout out to Puerto Rico stay strong um i don't like is this gonna like take out is this gonna is this catastrophic like i need to know um oh warns it so the national there's warnings of catastrophic floodage there's flash flood warnings as the hurricane brings torrential rainfall the weather service in san juan warns catastrophic flooding impacts are expected across the core delorella delorella corduroy i feel like i have to say that with a mexican accent corduroy corduroy corduroy corduroy can't say it and the southern half of puerto rico between five and ten inches of rain have fallen since midnight holy shit according to the weather service additional rainfall amounts up to

of four to six inches are expected before 9 a.m so uh there's your news uh first news topic hurricane fiona is uh making landfall in puerto rico and fucking shut up all right the queen died i missed that i didn't comment on that last episode r.i.p to the queen um first of all okay can i is it i can't make a joke it's like probably i can't make a joke i don't want to just shit i should have just made the joke and moved on um but yeah rest in peace to the queen i gotta i want to be classy about this i mean she was a queen of england like okay um yeah i don't really know how to feel about it other than like she was 96 she lived a long life um

yeah god rest her soul i mean there's a beautiful footage of the the um like the the casket in the what's it called the hearse the glass hearse i saw a picture of a hearse with like a glass the casket inside there was like a plane a big jet in the background i don't know they were like on the tarmac at some airport i think this was going somewhere i don't really know what's going on all i know is the queen died obviously everyone's aware of this right now if you're listening at this point it's been a week um next piece of news in pop culture news uh there are rumors circulating that leonardo dicaprio is dating uh gg hadid i really see the thing is is like i could

there's hair in my eye like i don't really pay attention like i don't watch the bachelor i don't really pay attention to like what the kardashians are doing i don't really keep up with pop culture news i don't really care about any of it like i'll see stuff i say this about news in general like i see things right but i don't get into rabbit holes with it or like really pay attention and follow stuff um in the pop culture in the hollywood world i just so but i feel compelled like on this show especially today because I'm like I'm doing segments I'm going to talk about the news I feel like I need to mention pop culture stuff things going on like another pop culture news headline

today is R. Kelly has been found guilty of sexually abusing and urinating on a 14 year old girl in the infamous tape um I think his the minimum prison sentence is 10 years I think I saw that um so yeah like do you like listening to me talk about the news and things going on the world is this like i feel like when i listen to podcasts i like when they're talking about current events i like when the hosts are like on those they're on the they're mentioning things that are currently going on um so i'm you know i'm dabbling in that today i mean it's not my favorite thing to do like again i don't really give a fuck about any of this like again another headline the iphone 14 came out like the that's like the biggest snooze fest of a launch I've ever seen like it literally is like

it's just a new iPhone launches are so boring now like unless they haven't been that different like the new ones haven't been that different where I'm like whoa you know um I don't understand so that they got a they came out with a new Apple Watch with the SOS um feature in it where it's kind of like having a Garmin inReach on your watch which is like a GPS satellite communicator thing where you can like tell the Coast Guard that you need a ride or something like hey I'm stranded help me come pick me up in a chopper on this mountain fuck you know that's But it's that kind of technology. It's like GPS location satellite connectivity with help in the wilderness

where there's no service. So the new Apple Watch has that. I don't understand. This is where I'm going. This is where I'm trying to get to here. I don't understand why they didn't put that in the iPhone. If they put that in the iPhone, I would be a little more excited. If that makes sense.

Maybe that will go in the next iPhone. Jimmy? oh he's sleeping but making noise now um you know what I mean so yeah uh another that's it for news that's all I have on the list cool um I have two segments here called something I love and something that pisses me off so um should we just jump into it I really wish I made more coffee um okay so something I love I love

so I mentioned it's fall it's gourd season it's pumpkin spice season I fucking love fall right so that's what something I'm loving right now I'm loving the cooler weather here in San Diego it's slightly cooler it's not like it's not something extreme but it's nice it feels good um I've been bringing out the boots the sweaters like I've been getting excited wearing more like I did dark nails um I actually have a story about these nails and then this bracelet on set here I want to tell I don't want to forget that um yeah dark nails boots sweaters like the pumpkin spice in my oatmeal like the I don't know I don't even know what's in pumpkin like what is it like card like ginger um cinnamon cardamom nutmeg like pumpkin I don't fucking know

what's in pumpkin spice but I have a little like a little shaker bottle the pumpkin spice my shit I've been buying, I got a pumpkin spice Starbucks drink the other day, but specifically, so what I wrote down here for something I love, I love Trader Joe's in the fall. I love walking through Trader Joe's during when they have all their pumpkin spice products out. And I love browsing and looking at everything and like seeing, you see the baskets with the gourds outside. You have pumpkins, they have gourds, the little ones, they have the big pumpkins with the, I mean, it's literally, literally September. It's not even October yet, but like, I'm already feeling that kind of, it's like spooky season. It's like fall. It's like cozy weather. It's like pumpkins and

bats and witches and war, you know, it's just, it's that, like, I want to watch Harry Potter. I want to bundle up, want to curl up. I want to read a book, um, by the campfire. That's more like a winter thing for me. I just want to be cozy. And it's September. What's the date today? 18th. It's basically October. So yeah, I love Trader Joe's. I love all their pumpkin spice products. I love walking around and like seeing what's new. Um, I was just there buying my weekly groceries and I think I walked, I literally walked out the only pumpkin spice shit I bought. Cause like most of it isn't, it's not the healthiest. Okay. I mean, there's like pumpkin spice hummus and shit um i didn't even buy anything pumpkin themed except for jimmy's dog

treats and then i got their new candles they're like vanilla pumpkin and their harvest apple candle um but like their pumpkin spice um fucking what are they jojo's do they make those pumpkin spice cookie butter pumpkin spice popcorn pumpkin spice fucking butter and shit like they every they have all this oh they're oat milk you know it's all there so i like trader joe's in the fall i like going there it just feels cool it feels like it's decorated and um jimmy are you okay it's okay it's okay you're fine he's like pawing at the couch like he's digging a hole hey bud you want to come on set and say hi do we need to do a little break come up up up up he's too tired to jump up um he's jimmy's good life update jimmy's good

something i love yeah trader joe's in the fall it's it's best um yeah so the thing i hate something i hate or i wrote something that pisses me off this week and this is just kind of how i've been feeling lately and I don't want to get into like a negative spiral here but because because it's something that's like a concept in my mind like a lot of things are when I'm on the show that I haven't really gotten clear about but basically the thing that pisses me off right now is how weird the world is and how weird it's become lately like nothing makes sense like when I it's just it's a weird time and it's been weird like I feel like

the pandemic really accelerated this and really topsy-turvied everything to this point to the point now where like yeah ever since then it's kind of like weird just like everything's weird and nonsensical and um I don't know if that's because I'm getting older now and I'm more aware of how the world works and politics and the way the like things are signing but like i don't know everything just feels weird it feels i don't know it's like i didn't when i was younger i don't know if i would have guessed that i don't know i'm trying to maintain a level of um sanity and i feel like the way i've been doing that is yeah i don't pay attention to what's going on in the world that much or like the news headlines that are happening

I don't really keep up because when I do it, it fucking like my brain hurts and I see shit. I'm just like, I, I like can't, I can't. So I, I stay sane by staying off the news obviously.

And I've been trying to like focus on the simple things in life that make me happy. And just, I do those things. I don't pay attention to much of anything else. So that's like going on walks with my dog, taking my dog to the beach you know going um to the movies with my boyfriend or going on little trips with him like we just went rafting we um you know we rode horses the other weekend we go

golfing we um or I the simple things I do I you know what I mean like just that I call my mom Like I just FaceTime my mom today while she was bushwhacking the bushes or what was she doing? She was hedging. She was like taking a big saw and cutting our bushes back home in Washington. FaceTime my mom. And like that, it's just the simple things that make you feel full and happy. I focus on that. And like a lot, cause the world is weird. Like when I go online, I read stuff. I'm like, what's going on? And I feel like it makes me crazy. So, um, but there's, there, um, speaking of how weird the world is right now and how nonsensical everything is there, there's two sentiments I've come across and I can't remember where I've heard

these, but it's kind of because they're these, these two ideas or ways of looking at this is mostly about the left and the right. I feel like really sum up kind of my, or they really like describe it well. And that's basically that the, like, super woke liberal left crew, it's like, I can, I look at that now, like, that's a cult. That's, like, that's a cult. And then at the same time, something else someone said is that the right, like pro-America, pro-freedom, like anti-woke, you know, like pro-common sense, that crew, like a lot of the alpha male, like military, like hunting, fishing, guns, like family first fucking pro-america a lot of those people are starting to act like whiny cry

babies too and like they're both doing it you see that on the left and the right now and it's like everyone's just whining and crying and bitching and i think i forget where i heard this from but yeah it's just a shit storm out there online and i don't know i feel like those two ways of saying things like really made sense when I came across those ideas what am I saying it's just like because like I'm like I lean more towards like yeah those pro-America pro-freedom pro-common sense you know pro-family at first all that side I lean like okay yeah but then when I go on their profiles when I go look at their shit when I follow them it's like non-stop bitching complaining whining about the left and how fucked up the you know the government

is and like how everything's fucked and we need to do this x y and z to like repair america and fix everything and make it you know back to the way it should be and it's just like everyone's bitching and complaining and whining about everything on both sides and it's so yeah i guess can we just like not do any of it maybe i don't know like why do we have to put so much why do have to be so outraged and offended and put like riled up about everything because i don't know it's just a lot of that and i feel like that gives people like they really feel like they're doing something they really feel like they're i just i feel like it just furthers the division because in the

if the left sees the right talk about that then they're like they're you know everyone just is they're doing the same thing at each other but they both think they're right. So it's like, how do you, I don't know. I don't know how to make sense of it. I don't know what to do. Um, other than just like not watch and not follow and not, not dive too deep and keep up with it. Cause it's just a fucking show. Yeah. So, um, let's see what else is there. Okay. So I just did something. I love something that pissed me off. Now I'm going to do a fact. Um, this kind of goes along with spooky, spooky season. this is premature I know it's September but what the fuck who cares um the fact of the day is

without bats we wouldn't have tequila tequila comes from the agave plant which bats pollinate so bats pollinate agave plants we make tequila from agave and if we didn't have agave we wouldn't have tequila if we didn't have bats we wouldn't have tequila so fun fact um back bats pollinate agave which is where we get tequila okay um without bats we don't have tequila how many different ways can i say the same thing um it's national cheeseburger day september 18th um another fact um sandwiches taste this just popped up i have uber facts on my instagram it's one of the accounts i follow it says sandwiches taste better when they're made

by someone else when you make your own you anticipate its taste and become less hungry for it that's true like there's nothing better than someone making you a grilled cheese and giving it to you on a plate and like like they're like here here's a grilled cheese or like here's a turkey sandwich or like with Swiss and and tomato and onions and sprouts and Dijon and a little mayo and really good turkey maybe a little cranberry sauce fuck it you know oh my god I cannot wait this is I had a bonding moment with my boyfriend over cranberry sauce the other day um i'm mentioning this because i just thought of thanksgiving and cranberry and how that's uh part of the it's like a festive thing we all eat during the fucking

november the holidays oh my god um i have a very specific or very strong opinion about cranberry sauce and my boyfriend my boyfriend cory shares the same opinion and we discovered this the other week just shooting the shit talking about whatever food maybe thanksgiving because i'm going to thanksgiving um to his parents house this year and i think it came up cranberry sauce and like so in my opinion the only cranberry sauce that should be consumed on thanksgiving is ocean spray canned cran okay cran canned cranberry comes in a can it's cranberry sauce made by ocean spray again

how many different ways can i say the same thing and reword it um so yeah homemade cranberry sauce go fuck yourself buy the canned cran from the grocery store the ocean spray canned cranberry is the best one um so anyways we somehow this came up and he goes yeah i could eat an entire can of that like i fucking love canned cranberry sauce and i was like no shit i'm like what about homemade he's like fuck no and i'm like yes so a lot of that happens a lot with us and it's so weird because like i think we're the same person but we're two different people i don't know um you know what's weird to reflect on too right now is that you know I've been in multiple relations I've had many boyfriends right but I've never my question for you actually listening is have you

ever had the same dynamic with multiple people where you're like I met my best friend they make me laugh they check every single box I'm in love with them you know blah blah blah blah all the things are per you know in your head are perfect with that person and have you had that with multiple people in multiple relationships because in my experience this is the first time i'm like every single thing is it's like in sync a hundred percent because yeah in my past relationship was always like something was like a few things were off a few things i was like settling on it wasn't this like not perfect like perfect nothing's perfect but like we didn't mesh this well I've never dated someone I've meshed this well with where our energies match our everything

flows um but yeah have you ever had that where you're like yeah my boyfriend back in college we were like you know I don't know like it's just weird maybe that's why I'm so like hyped up and excited and I talk about it so much on here because I'm like what the fuck is this how everybody feels in their really like with their boyfriend and girlfriend like is this what I've been missing this whole time like what is going on I literally told him today in the car on the way to the gym I was like I've been chasing looks and not personality this entire time and I'm 100% like responsible for that and I am I can admit that um yeah and I and I totally feel like that's been my my thing is like my friends would always say

like they're like like if they describe my type they're like oh your type is hot as fuck like unattainable unattainable like model like none of my boyfriends have been under six four um I joke with Corey I say you're the shortest guy I've ever dated he's six three like I go for height I go for build I go for like face like really good jawline like beautiful beautiful men like that's my type that's what I go for and in my experience so far it's like no personality it's very I haven't I found someone that's like that yeah makes me laugh and it's like so important right like duh and so it took me a while to figure that out but um yeah looks fade um personality loss

it's kind of like crazy how I he's what do I call him the tp he's a total package I mean he looks great and he's also an amazing personality and I do want to bring this up right now because I'm holding it I mentioned how I did my nails dark um for fall um I've been doing long nails lately because I don't know. I'm like, I just like how they look. And Corey likes when I scratch his back. I'm not blaming it on him, but like, I can't put my bracelet on my birthday bracelet. He got me because my nails are so long. And so like when it's crunch time, when it's date night and I have to, you know, be ready at like six 30, this is the last thing I do. And it takes me so goddamn long to put on because my nails I like can't do the clasp because they're so long and

so yeah that's what why am I griping about my um bracelet right now why did I bring that up oh this has been a sore subject in our relationship lately because he got this for my birthday my birthday is July 7th and I broke it it's a floating pearl gold um super dainty bracelet it's like beautiful it's like me in a bracelet and so my birthday is July 7th I broke it like a week later I was putting my hair up in a ponytail and I ripped I like ripped it with my finger on my wrist and long story short I didn't take like I'm pissed off about at myself about this like I didn't immediately go take it to the jeweler to get fixed it took me like a week or so and then I was trying to get this fixed before we

went to Vegas um what was that last month and like I I saved it for the day before assuming that I could walk into a jewelry shop and they could fix this in like 20 minutes because the clasp it had to do with like the clasp where it broke um so yeah the day before I went to Vegas I'm driving around I went to like 10 jewelry stores but like it was on a Sunday a bunch of them were closed and then every time I walked in somewhere they're like yeah we can take it but it's gonna be like a two-week wait or like we have to wait for the jeweler to come in shit like that so long story short I didn't take this to Vegas I didn't wear this in Vegas and you know I that he he kept bringing it up as like a joke like oh like I don't know he's like oh you never wear the

bracelet I'm like yeah it broke I finally had to confess and tell him um I was like I literally was called my mom I was like crying about it I was so sad um like damn it I like love this thing and I just broke it and he yeah but um I wanted to wear it maybe I'm this is where I'm going I wanted to wear it on the podcast today and once again long nails I went to class but I was like I can't I'm like I don't I need to get this recorded I don't have time to sit and fuss but um okay we're on day 12 no nicotine i'm on four months with cory watched the fight last night i went on a double date to the sushi place friday was fun uh i've been working out um i gave cory his shit test for his birthday i have 15 presents coming today that i'm going to package after this

and give to him on his second gift um i just realized i haven't been shit on yet see i wrote that down I might have said that nonchalantly like I like it came off the top of the brain earlier in the episode I actually wrote that down because I realized that while I was writing anyways um again showbiz smoke mirrors you never know what's really what's not that's the thing like I back to the white lies thing I think it's no way to live I gotta work on that I need to like I I'm brutally honest like no bullshit type of person but when i'm just like hanging out with court i'm like i seem to or i tend to like but then i always take it back two seconds later and say the truth but at first i

say the lie it's like why do i do that what does that mean why do i joke and say the lie whatever um no way to live shaving my nose hairs the queen died hurricane fiona's taking out puerto rico we got leonardo and gg hadid dating the i-14 i-14 came out it's fashion oh I didn't mention it's fashion month, September, New York, New York fashion week just went on and it's crazy how I used to really care about fashion. And I thought it'd be so cool to go to fashion week someday and like put on a sick outfit and sit at a show and like be out in New York city at night during fashion week, like with all the social lights or whatever the fuck, like that was my in my brain like that was like my goal or like the world that I wanted to live in when I was

maybe 18 and it's crazy how like now I see fashion week and I love it like I'll go and look at um I'll go and look at the pictures from the runway shows like just to kind of see what's going on it's cool I appreciate it like that's the I appreciate the art the fashion the art of fashion I appreciate like the design I think it's so cool like I don't I'm not like fuck fashion I don't get it but um I used to collect Vogue magazines like like it was like a like my thing I had like a whole thing of Vogue's like on a shelf like I was obsessed with fashion and I wanted to go to fashion school one point like but it's weird what I'm saying is it's crazy how like yeah fashion fashion week rolls around once again and I'm like I literally don't care um it's cool but I don't

care um I've been driving around in silence doing things in silence lately I love Trader Joe's fall I'm recapping the episode I'm just kind of like seeing what's going on here I love Trader Joe's fall um products pumpkin spice products um it's weird the world's weird right now and it's kind pissing me off how yeah it's just a very like bitchy and complaining and whining world and yeah it's just like that's what gets the most attention obviously controversy gossip drama that rises to the top every single time like no one really you know what i mean so i'm not surprised um so oh bats pollinate agave which is where we get tequila so without bats we wouldn't have tequila

all right should i do this quiz to finish the episode buzzfeed quiz it's kind of a stupid one i used to do these at the end of the shows it's fall themed um i think it's like do this quiz and then go on a fall adventure we'll tell you which fall thing to try or something um you know what's really been getting me through it lately and like i again i listen a lot of podcasts but like i getting me through it i am fucking obsessed with the h3 podcast it is it is my most I I feel so relaxed and calm when I watch it and it's just like Ethan Klein and his wife Hila and their crew talking about I don't even know what the half the time I'm like I don't even know this drama I don't even know who they're talking about I don't even know this gamer they're

interviewing but like I'll watch it and it just feels good I don't know it's just the energy it's very like maybe it's because they all kind of seem like well even especially kind of like depressive people and i like relate to that kind of vibe a little bit like you're just like you just want to like sit and chill and just like look online and shit all day and like veg out it's kind of like the vibe of the show and like see what the gossip is and you don't really want to do much you just want to like chill so when I watch it and I'm chilling it's like yes you know does anyone else watch the h3 podcast it's a huge pot I didn't realize like it's got a huge fucking following but um yeah I've been that show I've been watching that a lot lately

and I'm like yes um I think Ethan there's something about him where I'm like he just it's like what is it he's just kind of like funny and like dark and yeah so shout out um h3 podcast big fan um I had Bert Kreischer I think it's a spam I don't I shouldn't bring it up I think I had like a bot come at me and claim to be Bert Kreischer's manager i don't even want to bring it up it's i think and then they like deleted the message and then they're like hey please can you do me a favor and they have a bunch of followers director of communication at burke kreischer i don't know if this is real or not maybe i don't and then i looked and he doesn't follow her so whatever um

yeah it's another podcast obviously i watch is two bears one cave birdcast i just fucking love podcasts i love that everyone loves pop i think it's just it's a good time i like that i'm doing it too oh my god um so oh i also pulled up this article called therapist psychologist and other mental health experts are sharing red flags to look for in the first six months of a relationship I mentioned earlier that I'm in my fourth month with Corey and I thought this might be interesting to read um I think the red flag he's noticing obviously the white lies and it's like a joke but like not a joke I need to fucking stop like why do people say white lies I'm gonna literally I'm gonna

google this why do people say white lies like what is it your motivation for lying in one situation might differ from your motivation other for example some situations involve social rituals such so i i don't i think i'm gonna overthink it here and i i don't really need to google this and really look it up because when i think about it it's always a joke like i'm lying the joke the lie is a joke and i come out and say the truth like right after but at first it's the joke but like he'll ask me a serious question then i'll say the lie joke and it's like jacqueline you don't always have to fucking joke so maybe that's all it is my reason for doing it is because it's like a it's like my default setting is like

i lead with humor i deflect with humor i cope everything's that's how i handle things or converse with people it's like joke first then get serious even if it's serious subject i don't know. Um, so yeah, but yeah, this might be interesting. The red flags look for in this first six months of relationship. Um, there's no red flag. That's a crazy thing. We were having dinner with his parents and, um, this was last Sunday. I think that was after last week's episode. I was like, I have to get to dinner at five. We went over to his parents' house and had like, um what do we eat um chicken and what do we eat was so good chicken thighs yeah it was really good um an ice cream cake um it was good what was i saying oh

i don't know like maybe his dad was like hey like how do you like cory so far and i'm like there's nothing wrong with cory and they start laughing like oh oh it's coming and it's just weird like yeah this episode is called my boyfriend is perfect the end like I don't know what to say why do I keep talking about it because maybe it's like I'm so surprised um or it's current it's my life it's kind of what I do here but um it is kind of weird if you listen to the show for a while it and I looked up I was like going through my old notebooks like it's weird how a year ago I was talking about a completely different person in a positive way like my ex-boyfriend like it's weird how I guess that's

life like you move on from one person to another person but now it's like fucking it's a whole different level and yeah so let me know are you is this interesting to listen to someone talk about their I need I need to like make him a regular co-host because we did one episode together and I feel like he yeah we need to start podcasting as a little duo because it's fun as shit talking to him I mean we like we'll just get in bed and he'll just be like let's chat and then four four hours later we're fucking talking about god knows what like we we can talk forever that's the best part we can just flap our gums and um yeah so that's cool um should I read this or do the quiz I don't know maybe I'll read a couple

of these and then do the quiz because I'm looking here one glowing hot red flag is when one or both partners do not feel safe or comfortable sharing hurts needs or wants in their in the relationship ignoring individual needs in order to maintain status quo will only work for so long six months in you should not be able to feel safe you should be able to feel safe emotionally and if not find out why before spending any more time building, find out why before spending any more time building or sustaining a relationship. Yeah. I definitely feel safe to just fully tell him every single little thing, um, Jesus Christ, bitch, like, it's my podcast, I'll talk about whatever I want, goodbye, uh, if you're annoyed, just fucking leave, it's an option at all

times, you can unsubscribe, you can give me a one-star review and fuck off, like, straight it up I love you but if you I love that anyone that listens shout out thank you for your support and your listenership but it's always available to you at any time if you're like why am I here why do I listen to her say this stuff and go on and on and on about her boyfriend like um you can always stop listening so um I mean that with love like um yeah what am i saying uh number seven here poor conflict resolution skills they always blame the other person or you and take zero accountability they never apologize or never apologize unless prompted to they have explosive rage they do not ask for what they want or need

but instead get angry and resentful later they may even act out later you ask for what you want or need in a relationship and they seem to ignore your needs or requests this includes respecting your boundaries this is not this does not exist this will probably never exist in our relationship because we are very pro like take accountability apologize like don't be stubborn that's my thing it's definitely his thing too um i've even talked about the white life thing i'm like i'm i'm really trying to work on it like i'm sorry i i you're right like i i'm noticing this about myself it's coming out when i'm hanging out with you like what is this thing you know and it's something I'm working on I don't act like I'm not doing it or it's not weird or like when I'm being a dumb

blonde brunette I'm like yeah what the fuck like I don't feel like what's going on you know so um like I've been super ditzy lately it's so weird okay let's do this um what's it called the fall quiz and have a fabulous afternoon send you off with a jolly old fall feeling um it says we'll give you a fall activity to try but you have to plan the perfect autumn day first autumn autumn with an n at the end is so unnecessary we'll give you a fall activity so we have to plan a perfect fall day to find out which activity we should try or it's going to tell us which one okay first off when do you wake up 9 a.m. 8 7 whenever I feel like it 6 or 6 30 6

actually wake up at 5 30 5 5 30 but I'll say 6 it's the only option that was just a subtle flex i'm a 5 a.m person um only losers like it's weird to wake up at seven now i used to wake up at seven a lot or for like like this time last year i think i was waking up at like seven yeah now i wake up at 5 5 30 um time to get dressed what will you be wearing um a cute cardigan a flannel a jean jacket, a white tee, a nice blouse, or just a tank top. I mean, I'm in San Diego. I'm probably not wearing a jean jacket. I mean, yeah, you can wear this shit at night. Um, I busted out. So I went through my closet. I busted out six jean jackets. I didn't even know I had, um, I never wear them. I'm keeping all of them because I feel like with like your wardrobe, there's certain

things that are timeless that you should just, you should keep forever. It's like, yeah, I don't wear them but like they're they're good to have they're you should have one of each of those of one each of a staple wardrobe piece and my jackets are like you got it I'll have them forever like they'll never go out of style I should keep them but it's like why didn't I wear these it's like well I live in San Diego but then I was out I was in Montana and I was going out I was at this bar we were out with a bunch of um I like met some new girls there and I was looking at one of their outfits. And I was like, white jeans, white jean jacket that matches it. This looks so cute with like a little top. And I'm like, I have the same outfit. I never would think to wear it. So it's

like, I saw that. I was like, I'm going to start wearing my white jean jacket. Maybe like, it looks so fresh and cute. And I was like, that's why I'm keeping it. So yeah. What am I going to wear? Probably going to just wear a tank top. um what's for breakfast a cinnamon donut maple pancakes this is fun avocado toast a pumpkin latte cinnamon oatmeal or pumpkin muffins I mean realistically looking at this I'm just having um I'm having avo toast or oh I mean I don't eat any of this shit usually for breakfast but like it's fall I want a cinnamon donut maple pancakes wait a pumpkin cream cheese muffin is what I'm picking it's not an option but a pumpkin muffin

um I saw that on the menu at Starbucks this morning and like I want it so bad the pump anything like pumpkin pastry pumpkin spice pastries fucking the pumpkin loaf at Starbucks is that what it's called the pumpkin spice spice loaf so good um it just makes you feel so like warm and fuzzy inside what's the first activity of the day antiquing reading a book for a while apple picking kayaking going to a coffee shop or a short walk in the crisp air the first activity of the day oh this is my perfect fall day so I have to like plant so so what am I wearing I'm waking up at 6 a.m I'm putting on a tank top I'm eating a pumpkin cream cheese muffin I'm the first activity I'm doing is I would say a nice brisk walk I mean I assuming

I'm having coffee with this muffin going on a little walk sounds nice um what's for lunch sushi a panini curry a croissant pumpkin soup I mean what the what what is this quiz why am I doing this this is like are you in fourth grade whatever um it's fall themed I I used this is like a habit like I used to do this at the end of the show I go on buzzfeed I pick out a quiz and I take it and then sometimes it's like it gives me things to talk about and like I'll go on a tangent about like sushi for example for 10 minutes but I mean I do remember the first time I had a panini. Oh boy. God, it's just like a road biker outside wearing jeans, you know, like probably homeless, but they made it up the hill. I live on the top of a really steep hill and

yeah, I like, speaking of homeless people, I was at a red light yesterday and I looked out my my window and there was this there was this guy he had really nice clothes on but he's clearly homeless he did all of his stuff with him um he's just sitting there just kind of like dozing off and then he looked up and I saw his face and I like made eye contact with him and I just got really sad like I just get really try not to think about it too much but sometimes when I see homeless people, I'm like, fuck, and he, like, he's, like, tweaked out, like, oh, fuck, mess, he's all messed up, um, brand new clothes, I was like, damn, he's looking fresh, like, suit, he looked, the hair was all fucked, and, like, the face looked very, it looked,

he looked like he's been outside for a while, but, um, like, brand new Nikes, like, nice jeans, like a LeBron t-shirt or some shit like a Nike like whatever um yeah why did I bring that up first time I was gonna talk about first time I had a panini yeah like my mom got a panini press one time but I remember going to the grocery store back in Washington in my hometown called Hagen and it was such a mind fuck I was like wait I ordered a sandwich like an Italian sandwich at the deli and I didn't even know it was what like I didn't I didn't know it was gonna be hot I didn't even I didn't know it was gonna be pressed but I got it and the bag was warm and I was like what the fuck and then I went and sat and ate it

I was like this is so good it's like and there was lines on it like where the panini press had pressed it and I was like oh my god this is the best thing ever because I thought I was getting like a cold Italian see how much nope the lady in the back panini'd it so that was the first time I had a panini in I don't know just because of that story I'm picking out a panini I want a panini um one more activity for the day I think this is wrapping up we're almost done how's the lighting are we good okay um wearing a lot of a lot of lip gloss right now my lips are like eating it um one more activity for the day I'll knit I'll knit a sweater picking pumpkins a hike playing in the leaves read

shopping for Halloween costume so me and a panini and then am I going for a hike or am I getting pumpkins. I mean, it's fall. I do love hiking. Shopping for a Halloween costume or reading. I'm going to go with a pumpkin patch. Um, what's for dinner? A fall salad, butternut squash, mac and cheese. It's like, why is all this like a food quiz? Shrimp fried rice, pizza, turkey mashed potatoes salmon and zucchini i mean this is not the quiz but this morning in the sauna i literally i looked at cory and i said what do you want to eat this week because last week i made him chili i made him it was the best fuck i made the best chili of all time for him last week um

and because he wanted chili he's like i want chili can you make chili i'm like sure i made chili now this week i looked at him in the eyes in the sauna this morning i'm like what do you want to eat and he goes it's like chile chilean sea bass over mashed potatoes and a vegetable i'm like you motherfucker like i wanted him to say like lasagna or something like i want like something like homey and like just a just chilean sea bass over mashed potatoes and i'm like fine but i love when he tells me what he wants because then it gives me an idea of something to cook this week and um I'm glad he said that because I have these Yukon gold potatoes from my grandma's garden my mom had visited me like a month ago and she showed up with this box of

potatoes garlic and tomatoes from my grandma's garden I think the tomatoes were from her garden she gave them to me and so I still have the potatoes I'm gonna make those with the bass sea bass I think I'm gonna do broccolini yeah I don't know um what's for dinner I mean I don't know turkey mashed potato sounds good Sam I've been eating so much goddamn salmon I'm on a salmon kick um probably gonna have that for dinner tonight I don't know what I want it's fall I want butter butternut squash mac and cheese that's the only fall thing on this or the salad like an apple-y salad a fall apple harvest salad with the fucking cranberries in it or something i don't even know pine nuts pine nuts he likes cory likes to say peanuts package of peanuts i

think we were on the plane and i was like flying back from montana i was like can i get a package of peanuts. We flew, what did we fly, Delta? Delta's nice. I think Delta's my favorite. Especially their upgrade, like their nice planes, the new ones. It's great. Their snacks are, their snacks are, I don't know, airplane snacks are kind of like whatever. Every time I fly Alaska though, they just give you the Biscoff cookie and I never want it. I always want like something else but um yeah guys I need to quit diet coke we've been drinking I drink diet coke every like literally every day now it's a problem just thought of that day 12 no nicotine uh next will be diet coke and you know what's weird like not weird I mean whatever I go in

phases but I'm like not about drinking anymore I don't even like I'll have a beer and be and I'm like if we go out or something I'm like I don't even want alcohol like I don't maybe it's because I'm like trying to feel really healthy right now and stuff I'm like I don't want to be hung over I don't want to be drunk I don't want to do this like it's I don't know if it's a phase but um yeah I'm not into like partying I'm like am I getting boring and old I don't know but lately it's like like last night at the we had a bunch of coronas I could I drank like a half of one I was like i don't even want to finish it so yeah i'm like not true i haven't smoked i don't smoke weed i don't do anything no nick i'm glad i got rid of the the vape though that was a disgusting

habit i saw a girl we were actually talking about her we got out of the starbucks drive-thru this morning and like we people watch and then we talk about what we see and he was mentioning her her hair and how it looked like shit and I agreed and was like really fried whatever we were talking about her and then we noticed we drove by after we got our drink and she dragged a vape and I was like oh god I was like I can't believe that was me for like this whole year again no one would I was so like I never you would never see me do it unless you hung out with me but it's just not I the thing is is the main reason I quit it's like I don't want to obviously it's for my health um like mostly because I don't know what the long-term effects are and I feel like

shit's gonna come out in 10 years and it's not gonna look good and I don't want to be a part of that statistic of people that were vaping you know in 2022 and before that and then now they're just you know they're whatever terrible thing happens to them like I don't want to be in that group so and it's it was a crutch like I noticed when I did it it was like a like if I was feeling anxious or whatever I would smoke and it was like relieving that anxiety and even though like I've not it it's mostly like now I feel more calm that's a big change I've noticed why I keep sorry um if you're on if you're watching on video you know what I'm talking about a big a big thing I've noticed in the last week is I feel more

calm and like more I have more energy or it's like weird I'm more like even like yeah because I was probably more short of breath obviously yes I was with the the pen and anyways I need to pick a dinner on this perfect fall day I'm gonna go with fuck it um turkey and mashed potatoes whatever what's for dessert pecan pie apple pie pumpkin pie cheesecake or molasses cookies or no dessert fuck off if you pick no dessert pecan pie the best one on this list pecan or pecan what do you say pecan pecan pecan what do I say I say caramel or caramel caramel caramel I say caramel I say pecan no I say pecan I say pecan pecan pick one more thing to do before bed a night walk terrifying i want to watch a horror movie

also terrifying a warm bath sounds nice i would love it's one thing about my apartment i don't have is a bath it's not ideal um one last coffee stop with friends or just a few more pages if i chose to read a book earlier i'm gonna end the day with a bath oh this is so fucking stupid i just wasted 15 minutes of your time i do apologize it recommends this quiz the quiz was titled we'll give you a fall activity to try but you have to plan the perfect fall day first what the fuck why did it's telling me to go to a fair there's nothing better than a traditional fair complete with ferris wheels and farm animals like i don't even i mean whatever there aren't even fall fairs i think we're gonna go i'm gonna drag

him to the pumpkin patch we're gonna carve pumpkins I am doing that there's a haunted house thing he wants to take me to and I don't do good with I don't do well scary stuff I don't watch scary movies even thrillers like I have a really I don't like to get scared um I think there's a reason for that too which I don't really I feel like like I've had a lot of fight or flight experiences in my life and I don't like to feel that way when i watch a movie i want to feel good when i watch a movie not scared so um yeah oh my god there's a hair in my eye fuck but yeah we're gonna do some fall activities together i'm gonna dress the dogs up we're gonna do like a halloween costume thing with them um we'll take them

trick-or-treating what am i saying jesus um i think what do i want to dress jimmy up as I think we're gonna do Louie Louie's gonna be a lion and Jimmy's gonna be I don't know oh Woody I think Jimmy's gonna be Woody from Toy Story I don't know why I just get that he's like it's kind of like the personality he has like that kind of look to him that makes no sense I love dogs like I get it's weird like I love dogs like I've always loved them but now that I have my own it's like different like when I see someone walking their dog it's like I know that you that's your baby I know that's your love the love of your life I just like know like I and I love your dog too I love all everyone's dogs I'm like yes just like let me

just fucking pet them and hug them and touch them and care for them and give them a good life and cuddle with them and feed them treats and cheese and peanut butter and Jimmy's looking at me right now because he knows what that means do you want to cook cookies and lots of cookies yeah he's getting hungry I did make him these pumpkin fall pumpkin treats I bought oh I did buy I bought um a bunch of canned pumpkin at Trader Joe's for for his treats I make I do peanut butter mixed with pumpkin canned pumpkin and then I have this omega oil that I'm trying to feed him for his skin I pumped a little bit a little bit of that and it started it up and then I freeze these little like cubes of them um so yeah how should I end it I think

that's it for the episode I got through my notes thanks for hanging out thanks for being here um a little rough honestly like I shouldn't it's like don't even tell the goddamn audience that you feel like it's rough. I mean, who cares? It's like, um, what am I saying? The format stick into a schedule during the episode is it's an, I haven't done that in a while. And um, the truth is when I feel the most like on point, when I, when I make, when I make you guys a podcast, when I concoct a podcast, when I create a pot, when I record a podcast for you, something that, and another thing about the show, this is like a tangent within a tangent.

Um, let me just like put a pin. Remember that topic. I'm going to say, um, something I do here on the show is I talk about podcasting while I podcast a podcast host to talk about podcasting. I take you into my world as a host, like, live on the air while she's doing the thing. That's part of the, it's a theme of the show. But something that, back to the thing I was going to say, when I feel the most, like, on point and on, it's when I've gone throughout my week. and i've written down my observations and then i come to the show on sunday and i talk about my observations and it's usually like ridiculous things i've seen in public that's like a my favorite thing to riff on and that's when i go really hard in the paint and i get really like

that's when i really go off and you've probably if you've listened to a few of these episodes that's when you you probably heard some of those episodes like it's like a good time because I don't hold back and I feel like that's that's when I have the most fun when I record this whole like fucking telling you the news telling you the life updates it's kind of dry in my like you know and then I recently it's like this is the post-show debrief I'm doing while I'm recording um hi we're not ending the episode I could I could keep this to myself but I'm going to share it with you whatever like lately it's like a lot of my boyfriend and I are so perfect and this is what we do together and it's just so much fun and it's like I don't know if that's worth talking about

but I feel like I do a little too much of that I don't know whatever um it's it's like how again how can I not again I don't think I mentioned this once but I mean I've learned I've grown and learned so many things in life like i i feel like i have a lot to say that i that could um help people like i could leave you with something each episode that's like actionable advice like something that you could put into action and you could do yourself you know and i guess today the thing i did mention that is i believe extremely valuable for all of us especially in 2022 when we all are like this all day with our goddamn Instagram and we're all like watching TikTok videos all day and shit

um it's the silence thing like scheduling in the silence making it a point to when you unwind it unwind at night get ready for bed do all that stuff and like go to your bed without your phone and like just lay there maybe read a book or like zone out with silence and like just you and your bed no phone like it's crazy like it's so hard to do and it's just weird how like how did we get here you know what I mean that's what's that's back to the world being weird thing and the thing that pisses me off the topic or the segment I mentioned earlier it's like how did we get here you know this it's like an extension of my my arm now it's like part of who I am and I don't know this is what I was signing up for like I don't know this wasn't like a

conscious it kind of happened to like yeah we're all in control of our own lives but this kind of just like happened to us like we all chose it we all bought our phones we all downloaded instagram we all posted on it we all followed people and we watched their shit like we decided on that but now it's like whoa we're really in deep now like and i guess the wisdom like the way to be wise about it or is to acknowledge that yes you i am addicted like i am addicted to my cell phone i am constantly on it whatever and then it's like how can i tailor my day or like live my life in a way that keeps this uh keeps my addiction at bay you know where i'm going like try to like yeah schedule in the silence and the time away from it

and um whatever just it's a lot of it's a way a lot a lot of us make our money on our phones though so like you kind of have to have be on your phone all day to earn a living and that's a whole thing in itself like content creators i mean it is what it is but yeah um anything that's i don't know what else is valuable just like don't get offended by shit because like why you know be impenetrable and impenetrable be be unshakable be impenetrable like nobody can get to you you know it's like easier said than done but I don't know just don't take things too personally I'm just blabbing about what did my mom tell me on the phone today she's like I was listening to this NPR podcast and they were talking about

there's a linguine linguine we couldn't say a linguist a linguine a linguineist we kept we kept saying linguine and then a linguist someone that talks about language and whatever she's saying that while she's listening to it they mentioned how blabbing is a the reason we do that is because of uncertainty we're not certain with ourselves and she's like Jacqueline listen to your last episode you mentioned that and I was like yeah because when I'm just shooting the shit with myself I'm not really it's not like I'm scripted here that tends to happen and yeah I'm like uncertain of what I'm going to say next or what where I'm getting go where I'm getting to with the topic, you know, or whatever. So it, it trails off sometimes. And I, another, I say this all the

time. It is what it is. Like, I'm not too in my head about it, but, um, being articulate is a skill that you have to cultivate and practice and really work on because, um, like when I listened to Lex Friedman's podcast I'm like holy fucking shit it's very makes me like go wow I just want to I just want to talk better I just want to speak slow more slowly and pause then say what I'm going to say but um we're trailing off I feel like this is the same shit different podcast I'm doing this at the end here a little reflection um do i need do i need to attend a speech therapy course or something like do i need to fucking nothing adults can take it's like actors or performers like broadway people like they do the tip of the tongue on the top of the teeth

i used to do that when i did like plays back in the day as a group we'd all do these like New, unique, New York, unique, New York, unique. And we do like face exercises. Cause I don't, Oh shit. You know what I was going to do? So I like, I make Instagram reels, right? And I was going to make a, or do a little clip here just for an Instagram reel, but I didn't plan it. So I don't know what I'm going to do, but I thought I'd address, like I talk straight to the camera and say like hi Instagram and then like say the thing I was gonna say and then like I don't know make it like a call to action like hi this is my podcast check me out and then post it but again it wasn't planned so like here's the real part

of the show that I it's not gonna I can't clip this now if I do and I this does become a real then and people watch it and like it and and go to my podcast from this whole wow I mean it worked but this was not that was like the idea and then now it's I didn't really execute on it but I did have a thought so another topic I was going to do for an entire show was um the the title would be review the show and the entire episode would be me asking you to review the show and I would be creative about it I would like I don't even know what I do I might do that next episode I don't know like reviews are that you I need reviews so please if you're listening right now you made it this far and you enjoyed your time with me today please review the

show on the apple or podcast or the apple podcast or spotify app um it would help me out a lot helps people find out about the show you're welcome to write something a little little uh two sentence essay on what you think about the show and what you like about it or don't like. I'm open to, I want to know about that one star. I wonder who I, I wonder who I rubbed the wrong way or who I, I don't know. Why would someone one star me? Because how did it go from a five star on Spotify to a 4.2? And I don't have that many reviews. So it definitely was a one star, right? Is that how the math works? If you average it, I don't even know. But yeah, please review the show. I'm going to end this, end the episode right now, please review the show, subscribe wherever you're

listening right now, and on, I'm on YouTube, if you want to watch this, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, um, follow me on Instagram at Jacqueline Monroe, TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe, and say my name so fast, Jacqueline, Jacqueline Monroe, Jacqueline Monroe, Jacqueline Monroe, Um, yeah, follow me everywhere. Um, I think that's it. Thanks for being here. Thanks for hanging out. Um, had a good time. Hope you enjoyed listening today and I will talk to you next Sunday. Okay. Bye. I see my veins. I've been driving this train years in this lane. There's no stop in this flame. Cause I came to the game and I changed it to play how I like rearranged it.