The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 328- Nothing Is Wrong With You 2023

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

Happy 2023! In this episode I talk about the Idaho Murder case, avoiding my adult responsibilities, being your own hype man/woman, the positive sides of being a "Pick Me Girl," tumultuous relationships, and more! Thanks for listening! ILYSM!!  Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up, guys? It's episode 328. Welcome back to the show. so in typical me fashion i'm avoiding all responsibilities right now to do my passion instead which is obviously podcasting everybody come here gather round welcome to the freak show the best in town what the hell's wrong with me i don't get along with anybody honestly i've been living in um I think I'm going to start the episode off today by listing off my to-do list and all the adult things I should be doing right now that I'm not and uh I'm also going to talk about something

I won't be talking about if that makes sense and why I won't be talking about it um that makes no sense. I'm going to tell you. Okay. Let me just start with that. So my mom had a good point on the phone last night. Um, we were just catching up and she's like, Jacqueline, sometimes things should, things should just be private. Okay. You should just keep things that you don't need to go and you know podcast about it and and air out all your dirty laundry publicly and I'm like you know what for the first time in my life it's now been what two years of podcasting I'm deciding today I'm literally gonna tell you what I was gonna okay fuck it I'm deciding today to cut it out with all the mental health talk okay and and just i'm gonna refrain from

spewing that on you each episode because i don't know why it's like it's everywhere go listen to someone else's podcast it's not this is not a mental health podcast anymore as of 2023 i'm fucking not gonna do it because i could literally sit here and for your entertainment unload my weekend and what i'm currently going through and the trials and tribulations of my mental health right now um that are that have been i'll just air this out i'll just air this out um they're not doing it I'm not doing so hot in the mind and there's a reason for that I will not be disclosing because I'm not going to fucking talk about mental health but uh let's just let's just

put it this way if you're a long-time listener and you've ever listened to episode one of my podcast um it's actually episode 200 because I released that for my 200th episode I reposted my first episode so if you've ever listened to my if you if you're a long-time listener and you've ever listened to episode one that's kind of how I've been feeling um that kind of energy over the last few days and um it's not fun so instead of deep diving into the minuscule details of my mental health and all the shit I've gone through uh that literally I can't not talk about it this is so stupid I'm trying not to talk about it I'm telling you that I'm not going to talk about it and I'm talking about it um long story short uh here's the little golden nugget of wisdom and all

this um I know there's nothing wrong with me and I know it's all in my head and I know that it's gonna pass and I'll be fine and everything's gonna be okay but uh goddamn you know like sometimes i don't know why i feel like january is like monday the whole month of january is just a never-ending monday and i'm currently going through um a semi-hard time because you know i'm blaming the weather fuck it you know san diego if i didn't know any better um i feel like I feel like I'm in a category five hurricane right now looking out the window like it's California's wet as fuck and I it's dark it's gray um so yeah anyways this isn't what I wanted

I wanted to do the to-do list why did I go on about my mental health shout out mom for your beautiful words of advice and wisdom because I think in the past my justification for talking about my mental health all the time and like my depression and all my the bs i've always gone through as a human being on this god forsaken earth no i'm just kidding beautiful planet beautiful place uh shout out southern california it's paradise um i don't know why i just complained about the weather like we don't get this very often and i should embrace it instead of fight it because i can't change it um so yeah my justification in the past was like oh i'm going to help people. This is for helping. This is, if I tell my story, it's going to help someone

else, someone else out there. But in my experience, when I watch people talk about their mental health all day and all their problems, I started thinking about myself like, Oh, I have that too. Or I started diagnosing myself. And I feel like that's what everyone's doing now. And I just don't want to contribute that kind of content to the internet. I think we're, it's just, it's, it's beaten to death at this point. And, um, I'm promoting 2023. You're fine. And nothing's wrong with you. ride that wave tell yourself that hype yourself up um so anyways um my to-do list and then you know we're gonna talk about shit okay besides my adult to-do list it's like really um just it's just a bitch guys i'm looking at i don't know

what it is about the new year but I really feel like I feel swamped with personal errands and appointments and things to get done um yeah but anyways we're gonna also talk about um obviously the Idaho murder case going on right now um Kanye West is missing I kind of want to look into that apparently no one can find Kanye right now or maybe that's old news I don't know I haven't looked it up in a bit um I moved out of my apartment I want to do a life update on the um the security security deposit uh fuckery that I had to deal with and one of my asshole neighbors um i feel like the megan and harry documentary is old news i don't really want to go into that but and i and i won't go into it i'm just thinking ahead right now if i was to talk about

the megan and harry documentary uh first of all my content already has a strong i wanted to say tinge i said strong i would i'm committing to strong a strong pick me energy to it and a lack of women supporting women and um you know like that kind of vibe so and I'll just own it you know what it is what it is I I'm pro pick me girl I'm pro wanting to be picked by a man and not um uh doing things that shit do you want me to make that a whole segment right now i have a strong opinion about that um okay back to the megan and harry topic real quick yeah i'm not gonna i just don't feel like ripping megan markle apart um and anyways i mean you just

just assume my opinion about it like I'm sure I don't have a unique opinion about Meghan Markle and then Meghan and Harry documentary okay I have I'd say the majority opinion that I've seen on social media so yeah anyways I could talk about that but I'm not going to um we're going to talk about a bonding moment I had with Corey over washing washing machines in Home Depot uh the world cup old news chat gbt kind of old news what else um facebook marketplace maybe I'll talk about that so real quick about the pick me thing wait did I I didn't do my to-do list this is insane I'm trying to remember my podcast segments so far so I'll do I put a pin where did I put the pin I definitely put a pin in the to-do list uh that I that I was going to share at the very beginning

and then oh the pick me girl thing and my support of it and then we're going to get into all the topics that I just listed off um so I've had to re think this pick pick me girl thing that's been that was like a 2022 trend or like topic on tiktok like pick me girl energy and how that's like a negative but I've had to like rethink it and retrain my brain to think of it as a positive because when I really sit down and get straight with myself about what the pick me girl thing is it's a good thing like and the reason I say that and I know there's some cringy pick me girl um behavioral uh examples I could put out there like I can just think of like you're at a college party and you're cleaning up the garbage

in the kitchen with a garbage bag and you know for all like the guys to see you're like a good housewife I don't fucking know like like cringy shit like that I understand there's a lot of cringy pick me girl examples out there but what I'm what I'm getting to or the point I want to make about it is that I think wanting to be picked by a man is like isn't that why we're as women let's just say like single women I'm not single but like let's just group single women together let's say 20s 30s whatever you're dating you're single isn't that why you're I mean I'm just first of all are we we're not all like living for ourselves if we really got honest about it like we're not all just living to be alone are we like you're keeping yourself

together put you're putting yourself together you're staying keeping your body fit and healthy you're taking care of your skin and your teeth and your nails and you're going out with the girls and dressing up and looking cute yeah for yourself and for your friends and you all you know girls love seeing each other in cute outfits and checking on each other's outfits like I get that but like you know you're on hinge you're on match.com you're on fucking e-harmony whatever you use you're you're putting yourself out there to attract a man right like if you're a straight woman like you're doing these routines and these rituals and you're going on those first dates on hinge and you're having the follow-up dates and you're texting guys and you're doing that because

deep down you want to have a you want to find a partner or you know whether that's a a father to your kid someday you want to have a family or you just want a boyfriend like whatever like isn't that what you're working towards by doing these things if you're single because what doesn't make sense to me is like um okay first of all shitting on pick me girls and how they're doing things to like appeal to a man um i think there's nothing wrong with that i think like it's stupid um but then like look you're those same types of people that shit on pick me girls are single and miserable and talk about it too and they're like fuck men you know there's fuck boys everywhere they're liking girls instagram pictures and they're not liking mine

i'm you know and i'm they're dating me and they they didn't tell me that they're also dating other people and i it's just a mess and i'm gonna dump him and like get it together like it's on you and I feel like um yeah my advice is if you're let me link this together okay I think pick me energy and being a pick me girl is a positive um I think it leads you to getting what you truly want which is a man and a boyfriend and a partner again if you're I'm talking about straight women i can only speak from experience and what i'm a straight woman um so i'm only speaking i'm speaking from that perspective so it leads you to what you want which is a man and a good man someone that will respect you and treat you well and take care of you um that's what you truly want provider

protector um you know father to your future kids someday if you want that so being a pick me leads you to that and then because you get picked and you're on the other side you're moving through life like I'm I'm I'm happy you know I feel because I'm in that situation okay now I'm happy and I'm not always single and miserable about men and now I hate men because I went against the grain and I wasn't a pick me and I did all the things guys don't like and then you know so so as far as is this tracking is this do i have any caffeine on board i'm gonna crack open a diet coke this is like 46 grams of caffeine yeah it's weird how like the women supporting women community is also the anti-women community

or anti-pick-me-girl community it's like the same people it doesn't make any sense i'm like look let's just all stay in our lanes and not be so judgy i'm be i feel like i'm being judgy right now i'm being judgy to people that are like shooting themselves in the foot like get it together that's my that's my mantra right now i'm like get it together it's your fault like you're not listening to men i think that's a mistake a lot of women in their 20s and 30s make they live their best lives and they do whatever they want and they post their fucking asshole on their Instagram and they're you know naked bodies all over the place and they're they're not aware that or they're just like you know moving in life like a what's it called a tumbleweed they're just

going in circles going through the motions and they're not like hearing I don't know in my experience whenever I've come across good men and I've come across many I feel like I've been blessed I don't know like it seems they're not they're out there they're out there and there's tons of them um whenever I've listened to them they've a lot of the times we'll just be talking like if I'm dating a guy we'll just be talking about women and uh you know what they like what they don't like whatever and is this a dating and relationships podcast right now what am I doing did I I did not read my to-do list I don't think it's it's probably not interesting to you that I need to return my um i moved out of my apartment i need to return my fucking wi-fi router thing to

cox and i have to go to like ups and i have to call the department of licensing and all this other why did i why did i think that was a good way to start the episode let's get into this this is juice this is this is juicier and i think this is more helpful for people out there listening that are around my age and maybe single or a woman or whatever um hi fuck did i lose my turn i thought i'm usually better if not i'm losing it um so yeah when i am dating guys a lot of times they talk about what they like in women and what they don't like and and instead of fighting that my whole dating life i've embraced it and i've gone okay so they have a list too so guys so men have a list about what they like and women too

oh interesting just like me just like my ideal list of what i want a man so why is it that men can't can't have these lists and it's a problem and it's misogynistic and it's whatever you want to say about women but we can have our dream guy list our six figures six two uh six inches whatever like weak as women like we have these prince charming perfect um you know lists in our head about what we want in a man and then when men do it when you sit down with a man and they tell you what they like we are like fuck you like that's putting women in a box that's that's oppressing women like what you like is like a little dainty flower who doesn't talk like that's an extreme example like obviously not but you know what I mean so I guess my advice or where

I'm getting is like I think listening to men has served me in my dating life and kind of doing what they're saying and not doing the opposite of that and not do you know what I mean so um yeah just kind of like just be a pleasure to be around I don't know what what are like the ways of how do you be white how are you Corey wanted me to talk about how to be wifey teach you Jacqueline you should do a podcast about how to be wifey and first of all that just feels so gross like I need to um get over this because I have skills I have why is my adobe flash player notification coming up right now remind me later it feels gross and self-absorbed or whatever to talk about myself and my good qualities my positive qualities and

things that kind of make me a catch or whatever the fuck. But at the end of the day, I realized like when he said that, I was kind of fighting it. I was like, you know, I just don't, I feel weird about that. Right? Like, who am I to say that about myself? But then I'm like, you know what? Look at all these life coaches out there. Look at all these coaches that are teaching people things. And they're leading by example. And they're the poster child of their coaching company or whatever and they're just like look I'm the shit or I'm great at this or that or you know being a person and here's my self-improvement course and they're just owning it and then they're like helping people that way so that's something I think it's a it's a more of a personal like

um identity issue maybe I have where I'm like I don't feel confident or comfortable using myself as like the positive example and and I don't know why that sounds like it should be a good thing but for my brain's like no that sounds like I'm it's like too self-absorbed if that makes sense so I'm gonna lean in I'm gonna go through the uncomfortable feelings right now and just say that um yeah there's some obvious things you can do as a woman to find a good man and if you listen to men and listen to what they want instead of fighting it you and you're gonna attract that it's probably gonna happen because like look I'll just give an example of someone I don't I want to be vague here someone I saw someone I've had conversations

with I'll just I have to make it a gender I have to say okay so I saw a a girl I know posted tiktok basically disclosing that she's a piece of ass and there's guys in her dms or whatever and then like she made like one of those little cheeky tiktoks like you know it shows like a little caption there's a little song whatever basically disclosing that I'm just a piece of ass the the what she wrote on there and then the conversations I've had with her and I'm just gonna look she's not 21 doing this and call it like a college girl doing it she's in her 30s okay the conversations I've had with her are always miserable about men can't keep just men are you know treat me like shit I can't I don't I can't figure it out I'm always getting ghosted they're leading me on

they're using me blah blah and I'm like that's how you're selling yourself like that's because of the way you're presenting yourself okay you could do a little bit of an adjustment in your content and that might help you out you know what I mean so anyways I just feel like horror being a whore is like trending right now and it's not helping single women at all it's they're just shooting themselves in the foot and so I guess I have a heart and my heart goes out like I get it like I've I'm you know I've dabbled in some tits and ass content like I'm just you know I've I've I've done it like I feel like when I was younger like college I would have a lot more like full ass cheek out and a bikini on my Instagram and I've obviously I've you know I

don't do that anymore but um I get how as a woman you feel like oh this is empowered this is about female empowerment and and you know liberation and showing our body bodies are art bodies are yeah a lot of them say that my body's my art my canvas and then but i'm just saying what men see is not like i've heard this so many times if they if i show if like we're on instagram guys on his instagram and we're like looking and there's like a bikini chick or a lingerie or whatever only fans fucking whatever or tits and ass out and they're like she's a good time but i don't want to take her home to my mom like yeah hi mom here's my you know blonde bombshell girlfriend who's naked all over her Instagram all the time like they say the same every guy I've ever talked to says the same

thing that's a fun time she's hot she's hot as fuck yeah but is that all you want is that why you do it is that why you posted just so you get that male validation like she's hot as fuck and then for other women to be like she's hot as you know it's all for that and that's fleeting obviously and it doesn't lead you and then i just see these podcasts with these types of chicks and they're always bitching about men and talking about men and like how it's just like again get it together it's common sense it's not that fucking complicated to be a um like a uh what's it called a uh catch noah that's not the right fucking term to be a pick me girl it's not that hard to be a pygmy girl you know what i mean don't fight it feel like no that's not the word

i wanted either um it's not that hard to get a good guy if you just present yourself accordingly to what they like and what they want and i don't think there's anything wrong with that why do so many people fight that because men or because women excuse me we do that all the time to men we have all these high we have these high impossible unattainable standards about what we want a man like if a guy walks up to me and he's five seven he's out you know like that kind of shit um but so we can have a we can have the list we can have the idealistic standards but men can't about women like we fight that because yeah of course men like tits and ass of course that appeal that's appealing to them but as far as you know dating you goes

i don't know because then i go shit i see a lot of couples on the gram and the woman's the the girlfriends like or the wife is just like doing like porn on OnlyFans and then she's like the guy doesn't care so there's a spectrum there's levels but I'd say in general from my experience and from the conversations I've had like being a little more conservative is uh probably the way to go if you're if you know what I mean so why did I go this long about this um this diet coke's a shit um I love podcasting so yeah I'm a pick me girl um do you guys like this new microphone this is the new sure sure sm7b studio mic with a cloud lifter whatever that does I think it like hires it hires it increases the

decibels somehow um and that's plugged into this like focus right audio transmission fucking I don't think I'm a bop I don't know what this is I just know that I watched one YouTube video this guy was explaining like the things you need to buy in order for your microphone to work and I bought all of them I'm also using the what headphones are these hold on it doesn't even say on the headphones they're like synthesizer headphones I don't know whatever they're like good monitoring headphones so yeah I hope you're liking the new audio um I didn't even ask you like we're probably 40 minutes in the podcast to subscribe please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on

apple spotify excuse me i gotta put the diet coke away apple spotify google podcast wherever you listen to podcasts i have a youtube channel i have 102 subscribers uh two years in we're doing great um subscribe to my youtube channel let's get me to 105 by 2024 fuck um it's all about i shout out ethan klein like he was on raw talk with bradley martin doing an episode and i was listening to it shout out Ethan Klein for saying it really resonated with me it really fucking hit me to my core and I just wanted to I just fucking love Ethan Klein and I can't explain it there's I feel connected to him in a weird like a weird um almost like he's like his personality it just it just feels like a hug when I listen to him talk so it's not weird he's married he has two whatever

I don't mean it like that I just just know he he makes he's like my comfort podcast h3 h3 podcast my comfort podcast but anyways when he was on raw talk he was telling Bradley Martin that you know he's been in the game for like 10 years on YouTube and podcasting for five or I don't know but he at first he's like you have when you podcast or post YouTube videos whatever start a channel you can't have expectations of success like you have to just do it for the love of the game and if you don't have that i don't think you said this part but in my opinion if you don't have that passion and the love of the game um you're not gonna it's not gonna last and it won't be something you'll probably be successful at so that was a nice little reminder you know

here i am just mocking or making fun of the fact i have 100 and some subscribers after two years of podcasting and to be honest it is what it is I love this this is my passion I don't and it's it's really annoying to people that talk to me about my show they get really annoyed and really like confused when they're like what's what's your plan how are you you know what are you doing to grow your podcast and I'm just like crickets like I don't do anything and I'd like to I know that I'd like to but as of right now I just this is something I also personally struggle with like doing things based on how I feel and not because it should get done if that makes sense so like a lot of the times when I'm like I don't feel like recording my podcast on video today and

editing TikTok clips so I'm not gonna do it but I'll record the episode I'll still get that out you know what I mean I just go off of like how do I feel today but I always go back to this when I recorded my first episode all the stars aligned and it was like an oh duh moment like this is what I'm cut out for this what I'm supposed to do and literally ever since I started it still puts sets my heart on fire and I feel like I'm flying and like this is like the best thing this is my favorite thing to do so I'm not worried about the longevity here because I know I'm gonna be around forever and you know what I mean so um yeah just that that tidbit he said about love of the game you have to do it for that and have no expectations of success when you start

out um that really felt good to hear so again shout out Ethan Klein um so yeah I plugged my shit I'm also on TikTok if you want to follow me there um I'm trying to just trying to okay plug my shit um i love cory's mom she wants to know if i like tuna sandwiches god damn um yeah so where was i pick me girls appealing to a man how that's positive not negative because men and women both have lists and we should we should embrace that and not fight it yeah like duh I don't know why I just feel like this is all common sense I was telling Corey I was like I feel like I'm so no I whatever I need to move on um to-do list let's just kind of pivot to something kind of light here um what did I say at the

beginning this is like typical me um doing my passion my podcast instead of my actual like to-do list things I actually need to get done today I'm sick and tired of being an adult I have to get my first off I've never struggled with standing in a line or really cared that much until i met cory and what i'm getting to here is like literally ever since i've met him met him if we're in a line anywhere um he's immediately unwell and will do anything and everything physically or mental whatever he does everything possible mentally he does like and i appreciate this about him because fuck lines like honestly now i'm like yeah that's like time is money okay you can't get that back and why would I stand in this line if I don't have to so

I don't know he just like knows how to get through the lines quickly and like does a lot of I guess schmoozing would be the word sorry Corey the word you know so um yeah what was I saying um yeah so speaking of lines I don't have TSA pre-check and that's a problem obviously in this relationship when we flew to Washington for Christmas of course we flew on that weekend um Corey he has he has TSA pre-check he stood in line with me in the peasant line in the general screening line and uh he's a red he was red in the face the whole fucking time and it was like the hardest thing he's ever done in his life and why am I being should I fuck it whatever i love you cory you know this is all in good fun and anyways i didn't have tsa pre-check so i have

to get it now which means my first to-do list task is to call the airport like i try to go on the global entry website and find an appointment in california because you have to like go get an interview i've already been approved but i have to go to an in-person interview now and right now if you're on the California global entry website and you make an appointment there's nothing available until like December I think the date was like December 2023 like the end of the year which doesn't make any sense like they've blocked everything out so now I have to like call the airport and get clear instead I guess that's like a workaround to like the global entry thing I don't know. So I have to do like that. Um, I have to return my wifi router to UPS. I want to tell

the story about my security deposit situation too. I don't want to forget that. Um, we have a bike in our apartment here that needs to get, um, stored away and that's hanging over our heads. It's literally, you know, when you're like living in your house or your apartment or whatever, and you're just like desensitized by your environment like other people would notice something if they walked in but you don't because you see it every day well Corey and I have this beach cruiser bike like in the front walkway when you walk in that just it's been there for maybe three months maybe two months three months and I'm like this week it's going away like we're getting we're storing this away like I can't take it any longer so yeah that's another to-do list

item is this fun are you is this interesting is this i really fuck it i'm just gonna keep keep it rolling um i have to call it the department of licensing for tabs um i have to figure out my health insurance it's all fucked up right now and i don't know why i guess it's because of the new year uh but get like riddle me this like you know how you can log into your health insurance portal on the the internet a week ago when i was checking it out it's like seeing what my new id cards look like and you know I was just looking at my my profile everything was there and haven't touched anything haven't clicked haven't clicked any buttons now I'm down to dental insurance and dental dental insurance only okay and I'm like what the fuck I go on my portal and it's like

no medical it's like medical insurance it's gone so I guess I have to make some phone calls get people on the horn you know call 1-800 number and figure out what happened there because I have all these new year new me medical appointment you know what I mean like it's the new year I like to make my appointments at the doctor and get things checked this time of year and I'm you know I guess I am you know what should I be complaining about this I should fuck it is this privilege you know what did it whatever call this what it is call this whatever you want to call it I'm blessed to even have health insurance and health insurance coverage and but damn we're all slaves of the system we're all at the mercy of it like you know here I am just a person with health insurance

thinking everything's good full coverage everything's fine you know trying to make a doctor's appointment and then didn't do anything didn't click anything literally didn't touch anything and then all of a sudden it's gone like and now it's making everything complicated and I I have to waste time calling people and figuring it out, you know? So anyways, um, uh, parking tickets already paid that. I literally had a parking ticket from fucking October that I parked on the street here. I just said where I live. Fuck it. It's a big city. Um, and why am I scared right now? Why did I San Diego? There's like suburbs. I live in one of the suburbs called fuck it whatever um find me good luck um why am I doing this right now why am I

being why am I putting a target on my back publicly um Jesus Christ I feel like that's not weird to say like I'm from like you know people like live in LA they're like oh I'm I live in Malibu or like I'm from Santa Monica like they say where that's fine it's fine it's all good um yeah I had a parking ticket from like October because I parked on the street here and it was like $300 because I didn't pay it in time so I did cross that off last night um to make a hair appointment to get my hair colored I need to buy skims I'm gonna try Kim Kardashian's skims this year I've been putting that off I don't know why like I keep buying these cheap ass like bodysuits and t-shirts and shit like just regular like go to the store go to like they're kind of

like um where would you buy these at like urban outfit like whatever and I feel like the skim stuff it snatches you it's like made to snatch you but like the t-shirts and bodysuits I'm buying are just kind of like there to cover your skin like it doesn't really do anything for you they look great but they're not tight like I want them to be so I need to buy some skims um I bought new underwear last night shout out victoria's secret semi-annual sale that's checked i need to cross that off is this fun i feel like i'm being annoying right now um i have a sephora gift card i need to ball out and buy shit with um guys i had my first golf lesson this week um cory got me golf lessons for christmas and so stoked like i guess my golf update is i'm taking

lessons starting this year or starting this week and um I need to get fitted I really I mean I feel like I did okay like when I first got my golf clubs I just got like a uh general like starter set um from Callaway I didn't really I didn't get anything fitted to me so that's kind of what I'm looking to do I guess soon but yeah golf lessons um kind of hurt my back at the range a couple days ago um I feel like I'm really strong I'm just physically a strong I'm a you know I'm a strong I'm my am I hitting a wall right now um yeah I'm really strong and so I feel like when I'm swinging a golf club I'm like I'm trying to hit it as hard as I fucking can and then I whip my spine around and then I tweak shit so I need to chill out on that and uh have

soft hands and um not I mean sometimes I like death grip it and then I fuck up and it's like no Jacqueline you're supposed to what I'm always told Corey always tells me baby bird baby bird pretend there's a baby bird in your hand so yeah that's kind of it um okay you want to talk about the Idaho murder now do we want to talk about Kanye missing do we want to talk about um Corey and I bonding over you know what I'll just make this brief I wrote on my note here top loader top loader or get the fuck out yeah we don't do front loader we have front loaders here at our place front loader washing machines but in my opinion um we bonded over this because we were at Home Depot and I made a comment he's like yeah yeah

no yeah duh like of course I hate or I hate front loaders and I don't know why you know why that was a big deal to me because I was at Costco with my ex one time we went by the washer and dryer machines and he was like really excited about the front loaders and hyping up how great they are and I'm just like sitting there like no you're wrong and so when Corey was like I love a top loader I'm like yeah it just feels like at home you know every time it doesn't happen like at home we just fucking click on so many levels on literally everything so the reason in my opinion the reason so top loaders are the way to go when it comes to washing machines because when I go to do my laundry I want to take my laundry basket set it on top of

the dryer and pick up the laundry in the basket and dump it in the top loader washing machine next to it does that make sense I don't like heaving dirty laundry sideways I don't like bending over and heaving I like setting the basket up high and setting the dirty clothes in the washing machine if that makes sense it's just better and if there were top loader dryers I would get one I feel like they don't make those or do they there's always no they always have a front door I'm cool with that but not a washing machine top loader washing machines or get the fuck out that's my strong opinion of the day um you know what did I write here this is what I like and don't like and this is who I am yeah I don't know why I literally wrote

this is what I like slash don't like this is who I am that's respectable I always I like people I'm drawn to people that are very that are super opinionated like they've decided what they like and they don't like that is so attractive to me in a person and the older I get I think my I've become more my mind can always change on things obviously and if you've followed me for a long time or watch the show it's like I've contradicted myself thousands of times like fuck you know what mean but um I think decisiveness feels really good to me and stating my opinions and standing my ground and like being and like getting clear on what I like and don't like makes me feel like I like I'm a individual like I'm a I like I really know who I am I don't know if that makes

sense like um because being wishy-washy and not really having opinions and just kind of go like going in the the in the wind what's that term flying in the wind going at the wave of the fucking bird's wing whatever the fuck what the fuck shit flying by the seat of your fucking pants and you know what i mean um you're just kind of like flimsy i feel like people that have strong opinions are like those are like the old oak trees behind a house in fucking savannah georgia or whatever the fuck like those are those are those types of people but like people that don't really and it's an age thing i think you get that with age and again the older i get the more solid i feel like i've become in my opinions and um i wonder what strong opinions have changed that i

could think of right now that have or evolved things I used to say that now I'm I think differently about that's cool you know like that's good um it's unfortunate that our internet world condemns people so often for their opinions and their ideas like we're all just trying to do the best we can with the information presented in front of us and our life experience that we're going through. Like everyone's got a different car. They have different cards dealt to them in life and they're walking down a different path. And like, yeah, the, I just give me another anti-cancel culture, bitch. I'm not going to do that right now. I feel like that's also been beat today just give people a chance give them a chance so yeah top loader get the fuck out

um okay do we want to know about the security security secure security can't even say it um the security security deposit itemization notice I received um from my landlord when I moved out okay so um I moved out of my apartment and city and I spent like a week kind of finally getting all the final things out and cleaning it right and I really detailed my kitchen like I scrubbed my microwave to the point where you know it looks brand new and my refrigerator and the sink was really cleaned up and all the like soap scum and shit was gone and you know I really spent a lot of time in my kitchen and then you know I've bitched about my shower tiles in the past and talked about how whenever I go to clean my shower tiles in my old

apartment it takes me like two and a half hours to get all of the grout fucking clean so by the time I got to my bathroom I was just kind of like I did a little check-in with my boyfriend I was like what's your what's your opinion what's your advice right now I got this apartment it's dirty and I'm moving out they're gonna hire cleaners anyways okay they're gonna do the deep clean with cleaners anyways so why would I be doing this I started talking myself out of it I started justifying why I shouldn't spend two and a half hours cleaning my goddamn shower tiles um you know what I mean so I decided not to I decided not to I decided not to do a lot of things okay I left the place in good condition um I didn't mop the floors I just swept them up I left

a window screen unhinged I forgot a couple nails in the wall um that was about it for the most part nothing was like terrible it just needed a deep clean everything was like wiped down I'll just sum it up to this everything was like wiped down it looked good to go nice like the floor was empty of dirt and shit it was like you know ready for someone to come in and do a deep clean so uh when I got my security I've never had to owe my landlord for damages and I was like wait what the fuck when I got it in my email I was looking I was like is this I was trying to figure it out was like do they owe me this or do I owe them this so it was like $1,500 in damages and literally like one of the items on the list was like remove or uh nail left in wall replaster $350

crack in the ceiling between the dining room and the living room you know $200 or whatever um replace or one missing blind in the right window replaced all three blinds $400 whatever like Jimmy chewed my golden retriever chewed one of the corners of one of the blinds in the first window when he walked in the apartment and I was aware of this I was like okay I know they're gonna have to replace this tell me why tell me why they replaced all three three lines and one of them I just got replaced like six months ago and it's beautiful it's in pristine condition like they literally replaced all the blinds and charged me for it and I'm like there was only one little bite mark in the corner of one slap so that was bullshit um

you know just little things they nickel and dime me for so many little things and um like the shower was they said like um shower was dirty 350 dollars whatever everything was like three hundred dollars of a damage charge so I you know turned to my advisors in my life and my mentors in the real estate world and I was like what the fuck and they're like I would never do this to my tenants this is bs like this is extreme you shouldn't owe them shit if anything they should owe you like they shouldn't charge you this much and they should give you part of your deposit back so anyways um I I will call myself out for this though I will call myself out for this and own up to it I left my mattress at the dumpster okay on the day of the move the final

move I made a game time decision to leave that bitch at the dumpster and within five minutes literally I we pulled out we had this truck we pulled out and five minutes later my landlord text me a picture of my mattress in front of the dumpster and someone ratted me out and so anyways like that was a fine that they and I I was like yeah I'm cool with that I get it but um it was like a rainy day that was like the dumb I feel bad but you know what when I look around this the city when I'm walking by apartments and shit like people that are moving out always leave their mattress by the dumpster like that's just a thing that's like socially it's like a social norm so I think that was like how I decided on that and I just was like I'm fucking out of here just get

me out of here I'm done I'm so exhausted from moving like there is nothing moving sucks the life out of your body unlike anything else and it's always like mentally just looking at stuff like random little things left in your apartment when you're down to the last like 50 items you're I just malfunction my brain short circuits and I'm like I'm just throwing things in bags nothing really goes together I'm just throwing it in a bag or a box I'm throwing it throwing it in the truck like just okay it's got to be out of here so we you know what I mean and then you're just like gross you feel gross you're everything just goes to shit physically I just like you know what I mean like my mustache after like six days of moving out like was fully grown back in I hadn't

shaved my mustache in like a week um you know what I mean my legs weren't shaved like everything's just yeah moving is it's um to grind but I'm I'm happy to be done um and the um result or the the agreement that I I you know called my landlord and was like what the fuck and we just it was a wash and I don't owe them anything and I could have fought a little harder but I was like I don't have it in me I'm just over it you know what I mean like I'm just I don't want to sit and like nickel and dime them about a nail on the wall and say oh you know it should only be a hundred dollars not 350 like I could have done that it's also like is that one of my bad habits or bad practices like I'm just I'd rather just like pay something

and just not have to deal with the bullshit than deal with the bullshit to get to suck all the money out that I possibly or to save the the money does that make sense like I'll never forget one of the best pieces of advice I've financial advice I've ever received from someone was there they told me they're like I'm better at finding ways to make more money than trying to save money or like spending time to save money does that make sense yeah i'm better at finding ways to make more money and i thought about that it's like yeah because then all those little bullshit like tasks you have to do you know as far as um like in in terms of oh jesus christ wheels are off i think the wheels are off one one sec

it's like spending six hours on hold with an 800 number on with an oh my god do i quit i think i hold on um yeah like don't sit on hold with a company for six hours to get fifty dollars back you know what i mean just fucking move on and you could have spent those six hours making more money or finding what you know grinding doing something that'll make you money so um yeah so there's that great transition great segue jacqueline um so word of the day how do you say this word this is this is a doozy and it's one of those words where I don't think I've ever said it out loud I've seen it but I don't think I've ever said it

in a sentence and anyways the other night Corey and I were whatever just laying in bed talking about whatever and I think I brought up um we were talking about like relationships or something or like rocky relationships in the past I don't fucking know but I tried to say tumultuous tumultuous tumultuous and I was like tumultuous relationships tumultuous really I'm like I tumultuous tumultuous tumultuous like I couldn't say it so I finally looked it up to get the vernacular right is that what it's called the vernacular see what the vernacular is the whatever it's tumultuous tumultuous tumultuous not tumultuous like i was putting ch in there so many times so yeah tumultuous tumultuous

now i know how to say it tumultuous um yeah so chat gbt that ai thing is crazy um i feel like that's old news I really don't want to talk about like sometimes I tune into podcasts and because I listen to so many and I'm always like up to date on the latest like topics and pop culture and the news like if I hear one of my favorite podcast hosts start talking about a topic that's like a month old I just get like I don't care I don't know why I just like don't want to hear it so um maybe you want to know about chat gbt or you have no clue what it is it's like an ai software that you can like ask it to do something and then it'll like write out a legal document in like five seconds of exactly what you need it to say it'll just

come up with shit like it it's literally gonna revolutionize it's it's a revolutionary software like thing like it's fucking crazy what it's capable of doing and now there's this guy out of it's like an e-school maybe yale it's on bloomberg i looked it up this is bloomberg and he created a software to see if a document was generated by ai or if it was an original document because now it's like you're writing a college paper and you're asking chat gbt to write it for you and then you're submitting that and it's like how's the teacher gonna know because it's that good you can't decipher what's and a lot of these people are like um they'll recite something on a tiktok video or whatever or they'll read something and then at

the end they're like this was written by ai and it's like holy shit it seems like that's them talking or whatever it's a real thing they're they came up with and it's literally like generated by ai so it's very difficult to decipher what's real and what's not or what's original what's not um let me see if I can find it yeah some guy you know he's like working on something to like um detect if it's AI or not um so yeah chat gbt oh fuck if you can't tell I'm kind of putting the Idaho murder topic at the end here because I'm deciding I'm like as I'm podcasting I'm deciding whether or not I want to talk about it

um I just I just want to say this though like it's kind of just kind of puts puts a little like not anger what's the emotion I just don't like how I go on TikTok a lot and I see updates on the Idaho murder situation and like people are just off the bat talking about it like just getting really into it and I'm like no one's giving their condolences to the family like a very few people start their video with like you know you know prayers for the family you know my condolences to those the lives lost and their

families and like no one's like everyone's just like so at 4.02 p.m or 4.02 a.m he came into the door and then he would and they're just like getting so into it and I there's so much like it's like we're all living in this true crime documentary in real time and everyone's just like on it like a hawk right now and it's almost like it's and I'll admit to it like it's entertainment for me right now but it's so horrible and i feel so horrible for the families and these parents and their their siblings and all the and their relatives that just lost their you know kid like holy shit and it's like for everyone's entertainment right now i don't know there's something so sad about that like that's just the type of world we live in i

guess. Um, you know, there's obviously nothing I can do about it. Um, but it's so fucking heavy and I, I just get really fucking sad when I honestly, I don't think I'm going to hold it together to do this segment. Um, I just wanted to talk about the latest updates and, um, Brian co-worker and um some of the things we know right now as of today um but it's just so fucking terrible you know and i have this thing and i oh god i i i think it's the way they were murdered that is the most disturbing it's like okay i understand if someone went in there with a gun and shot him on the head and then there it's lights out like that but the whole stabbing um thing is like

so that I have this thing where I can take on other people's pain just by like hearing what happened so like if someone it's happened to me before where like my boss at my internship back in the day like was explaining her surgery to me she's telling me like what ligaments they repaired and how they cut their her bone and her wrist and like all this shit and all of a sudden and I'm hooked up to an EKG machine, there's paramedics around me, because I fucking passed out from it, and I get really, like, it's almost like a, I don't know if that's an empathic thing, or whatever, but, so, I keep having these intrusive thoughts about stabbing, is what I'm getting to, and, like, getting stabbed, and, like, feeling that pain, and I, like, can't help but

think about it, because I'm like, what the fuck would that be like? Like, holy shit, that's so like how and then I'm like how the fuck could someone do that to these innocent lives like and then I get angry and then so it's it's definitely stirring up a lot of emotions and I even asked Corey I'm just like I'm like it's almost like I want to know what it's like to be stabbed so I can fucking it's so weird like I have some obvious issues like Jesus to even admit that Not that I want to feel the pain. It's just that I, is it a,

I just want to know, I guess I can't understand. You know what it is? I don't like to see other people suffer. Obviously like it, that's just, it's like hard to watch someone suffer in any form, but to imagine, and it's all, all my brain can do. i have this hyperactive super creative brain like all my brain can do and i feel weird even talking about this right now to be honest like this is a tragic event and this is now part of my podcast and it's for your entertainment listening to me you know discuss my morbid weird thoughts about stabbing like I don't know I'm just gonna because we don't experience this and here's the thing it hits

close to home I went to Washington State State University I would visit U of I all the time I know that drive I know those neighborhoods I know those houses like I know what the areas um or I know that area like the back of my hand and uh Ethan his fucking mom like is neighbors with my aunt you know like shit like it's kind of like a hometown hits close to home type of thing for me and um maybe that's why I'm so on it it's or I'm really I'm keeping up with it so closely it's because of that and I feel like I I really I feel part of it in a way because it's like that was my community is my community my alma mater whatever the fuck you want to say not U of I Washington State University where um it's literally like a 15 minute or less drive it's really close it's

like right on the border um but yeah I hate to see people suffer right and I hate to hear about people suffering and I just want to know I'm like how quick's that death and what's that pain and did they were they just laying there for a long time breathing and not being dead and they're in excruciating pain like I get so worked up about that part where I'm just like you're asleep someone comes in and goes ape shit with their knife on you and you're defenseless you can't do anything and now you're laying there in a blood bath in your own blood and your you know girlfriend or your boyfriend or your friends and it's just like are you does the body go into like when you're stabbed like do you

I just need answers on that I should probably should not fucking again talk about this but Like, do you just kind of go into shock or whatever and you're, you don't feel pain? Like, I don't know. That's the part I, I think I keep having intrusive thoughts about. That's the heart, that's just like my own doing for keeping up with this story and for constantly reading the affidavit and like watching people break it down and, you know, but um yeah that guy's an idiot he's a if that I mean I'm obviously in my opinion like he's the guy but you know innocent until proven guilty um

yeah and I don't like all the shit the surviving roommates are getting it's like people are it's like a lot of people seem more pissed off at them for not calling right away or whatever or not taking action when they heard noise than they are at the guy that actually did it if he did it um brian coberger it's like it quacks like a duck looks like a duck walks like a duck whatever like everything about brian coberger and the evidence we have leads me to believe and i think most people um leads me to believe that he did it and he's the so I don't I don't like how people are taking I mean I guess that's what you do when it's a

it's um an active investigation or whatever like you you don't rule anything out everything's anyone could be a suspect everything's a possibility you're trying to whittle it down to you know exactly who did it or whatever but yeah these if you were in that situation you wouldn't know what you had done um it's a it's a big house it seemed like you know there's lots of people coming in and out and if she saw brian coberger i think it was dylan if she saw him walk you know out the door or whatever down the hallway and she saw him with a mask on or whatever and bushy eyebrows like she said which is great that they have that thank god like a witness saw the killer and could decipher what they look like

they had that at least that um you know could have been her roommate her roommate's one-night stand walking out that night like i don't know what the situation like we don't know a lot but like you know is he covered in blood did he have a knife did she go into shock and lock herself in her room like what the fuck you know like did she get that because i've been in fight or flight many times in my life and i've been in a life or death kind of fight or flight before and you you literally freeze and don't you're like locked like you're just you can't it's so it's inexplicable unless you've gone through it and um yeah so maybe that happened and and of course like with drinking and partying going out like you're passed out you're tired like you don't

really you're not it's four in the morning like you're not thinking straight um but i guess something that was confusing and to me and i guess a lot of people maybe you if you're following this is why didn't they call 9-1-1 right away and why was there like an eight hour six hour delay and then why was the um the police call or why were they why was it reported that there was an unconscious person and I guess what happened was the girls their surviving roommates went into the bloodbath and they saw they opened the door and there's you know they're slain roommates and they are like what the fuck holy shit they run out the run outside and um call 911 one of them's hyperventilating the other one passes out and maybe the dispatcher heard you know she just

passed out and then they're like we got an unconscious person and that was the reason for the unconscious person because that was confusing to me I'm like why would they call a slain you know corpse with blood all around it an unconscious person like that doesn't make sense so I think that was the reason for for that um yeah it's weird how yeah this is like fucking unbelievable like um yeah the kids are just i even got on there i i don't want to keep i get too fucking worked up i just really hope that justice is served and this guy gets his ass um locked up and i mean idaho's got the death penalty and i mean just

saying um do you know how much i guess it all went down in like nine minutes it the amount of physical exertion it would take to kill four people in separate bedrooms like he had to go from one to the next in nine nine minutes like there's the motive i mean if we want to talk about the motive like he there has to be some kind of connection with at least one of the roommates i think it was um kaylee honestly the the girl and you know because and some people are saying maybe he went in there for her and then you know there's four other people and then he had to kill him i don't know we don't fucking know

it's just terrible end of the day at the end of the day it's just it's um yeah it's the worst thing i've ever heard honestly in a really long time and i and i again i think this i'm so on it and i'm so hooked on keeping up with it because it it's yeah it's close to home and i went to those schools and um yeah it's just it's kind of like a what the fuck like i've seen those kind of guys before those brian coberger types in college even at washington state like i was like do i know like not that i know him I'm not saying that at all but it's just like they're around they're around and they have a vibe and I it's kind of like they're they're just awkward guys that don't really get girls and

they usually are super book smarter they're like in they're more yeah they're like the nerd types the yeah and they i guess the um you know he's what a 28 year old getting his phd can't he's struggling with women maybe it was a the motive was because he fucking struck out so many times and maybe one of the girls he struck out with and he's like so fucking enraged with everything i don't know i don't want to speculate and just we're gonna this is all gonna play out but um my heart goes out to all the families and the school and anyone that was close to these victims like i think what it is too is they just look so like all kaylee zanna madison and ethan

yeah they just look like they're at the start of their lives they're what 2021 they just look like kids i know you know their whole lives ahead of them i think that's the part that sucks all of it sucks but the fact they were young and they looked i mean i stalked their instagrams i was you know trying to see who they were and everything and they just look so happy and just like everything's going well you know until that night um and i guess it's like yeah jacqueline hobson perspective people die every day and car crashes and they have cancer and it's like yeah i get that but there's just something about the way they were killed is just it just it hits it

hits no pun intended hits fucking deep um it's like you know i feel weird for even saying no pun intended like jesus christ like i don't know how to talk about this in a eloquent like respectful it's it's one of those things like i'm uh i'm creating content i'm talking about my life i'm podcasting i'm speaking about current events this is literally all over the news right now it's an active case like um I went to Washington State University that's the whole thing like I feel closest because of that part um it just feels different it feels like I'm part yeah like the community I'm kind of still part of that it's just like yeah so I of course I'm gonna talk about it um but um yeah I don't know

what the latest updates are I think he's some people are saying he's gonna represent himself in court which is crazy um there's all these little facts that come out or like so-called facts and you're like I don't know if this source is legit or not but like I did see a girl that went on a tinder date with him post a tiktok and I post and she was explaining her experience with Brian Kober on this date and I guess they matched on tinder and she um he asked her or she asked him if he wanted to see a movie and they went to the movies and then they went back to her dorm that night he kind of invited himself in she said and he wanted to watch a movie on Netflix and so they watched a movie together

and like she was uncomfortable with how he was he was like trying to like touch her and then when she was like stop or whatever he was like gaslighting her like no I wasn't touching you like you know whatever and then she was like you know trying to get rid of him and went to the bathroom like she didn't go to the bathroom and then apparently he like followed her to the communal dorm bathroom just like stood outside of it all awkwardly and she was she admitted she was socially awkward like didn't really know how to kick someone out and say bye like leave so she started pretending like she was puking and then that like worked and he said he left or something i don't know but that painted the picture that he wasn't very good with girls and had like no game and was

just like weird because like you know what i mean so um yeah it just gives me creep vibes and it's all in the eyes like all these killers like when you look at their fucking eyes they're just no one's home they're just dead eyes and it's scary his eyes fucking terrify me in these pictures honestly um so yeah she i saw a tiktok of a girl that went on a date with him i saw a tiktok tiktok of a guy that did a class project with him and talked about him on that i saw a student he was a ta and a student talking about how towards like the last month or whatever before this happened he was like grading everyone 100% and before that he was like a hard ass with grading and then close to like when this happened it was like 100% A's on everything like he was occupied

like he like didn't you could just turn anything in and you get 100% on it so like behavioral changes um so yeah it's interesting people that have interacted with him coming out and talking about you know how he was and everything um um i thought it was interesting i don't know if you saw the video of the police body cam when he got pulled over i think it was december 15th him and his dad were in the white hondi elantra driving from washington state university and they got pulled over for tailgating um and you can like see him talking and they randomly brought up some like shooting at Washington state that had just happened or something with like a SWAT team

member getting shot like during this traffic stop um they're pulled over for tailgating which is a weird reason to get pulled over so then I'm like did this cop at this point in the case or or in the when they were trying to find a suspect or whatever did this cop were they like purposely pulling over white elantras on the you know what i mean on the way like i don't know so i'm like was that the reason and then i'm like why didn't he didn't run his fucking id he didn't check anything the cop just gave it back to him and said hey just please stop tailgating do me a favor and you know stay back from these cars or whatever um but yeah it was such a weird go on youtube if you want to watch um a video of him getting pulled over with his dad then i'm like so his dad was

visiting him and then they drive back to pennsylvania together like there's just a lot of gaps and missing pieces to this that I'm unclear on but um yeah fucking crazy um sorry for or I shouldn't apologize I'm just being myself here like I'm just kind of walking you through my brain um I don't know if anyone else can relate to that or I'm sure if you I always say this if you listen to my podcast I'm assuming you relate to me in some way and can you kind of get where I'm coming from but like the whole like wondering if they suffered when they were stabbed thing like I know that's dark and weird maybe but like I meant I always mean well like I meant that because

I'm my all my brain is trying to calculate when I heard about this happening was like how much pain do they like how much do they suffer because that's the worst part thinking for me the worst part about this is imagining how much they suffered before they died because those are your last breaths and that's what you experience and it wasn't like getting shot in the head and you're just lights out it's like you're bleeding out i i know the security the security cameras picked up whimpering like i didn't fucking need to know that but i read that an affidavit and like the fucking thud on the ground when they found Xana she was on the ground so that must have been the thud like fuck you know that part of it it's almost like I read that

piece of information one time and now my brain cannot stop fucking thinking about it I don't know I I know again I have some kind of um I do have a I always say I've been saying this recently I don't know why maybe I heard it somewhere someone talking about them they said this about themselves and now I'm saying it um why do I think it was Logan Paul he said I have a hyperactive brain or he said that about someone else but I do think I have a crazy imagination and a very like literally crazy and I have a um yeah just my mind just it goes and goes and goes and goes and goes really fast and I can think of like 15 things at once and I can like yeah and it's a it's a really amazing thing in a lot of ways I've it's fun to be me I think it's

fun to be in my head a lot of the times when I'm thinking um I think that's a creative thing I think people can relate to if you're creative um like when your mind opens up and you start coming up with all these crazy ideas and it's cool it's like one of my favorite things about being a person but um yeah in terms of this Idaho murder situation like it's fucking haunting me lately like I was in the shower last night just like thinking about getting stabbed you know what the fuck um I'm sure I'm not the only one out there following this case that's kind of having these you know thoughts or they're you know my mom is we were talking about and she's like yeah it's kind of I'm kind of scared and I look whenever I read about this or keep up with this

I'm like I kind of get scared like yeah so anyways I think I'm going to end the episode um with that um southern california is flooding so just got a notification wow flood warning in the los angeles area damn it's really bad northern california is fucking underwater i've never seen anything like this like this and Corey's lived here his whole life and he's even said that so I've only been in San Diego for five this is my fifth year and I've seen like thunderstorms and like rainy days but

it's been like two or so weeks of gray weather and darkness and rain and today it was like a full fucking downpour like Florida so um yeah we're just having like a I guess there's a lot of like what do they call them in the ocean right now over in like the pacific ocean coming over from asia there's um cyclones they're not hurricanes what are they called storm there's like three of them just in a like three waves coming coming towards us so this is just the beginning i think it's only gonna i don't know what the weather is but um i'm yeah i'm kind of over it to be honest I think that's it I didn't talk about Kanye missing because honestly I think it's a hoax I don't actually again on TikTok I saw someone report they saw Kanye at some fucking

I don't know like hotel resort place or something I don't know so who cares I just don't really want to give Kanye energy or time I don't really give a fuck so I'm not going to talk about it um i think that's it now it's time for me to do my to-do list and upload this podcast like i really get a high off of crossing off my to-do list i love doing it i love getting shit done but the inert there i feel this resistance towards every day and i don't think i'll ever that will ever improve I think that's just like I don't like doing things I don't want to do you know what I mean and then I have to do them but then I feel great after so it's like just do it

just fucking shut up and do it but um I think being on the phone on hold trying to like troubleshoot things is my living hell and I just really want a personal assistant I'm hiring hiring uh no I get it though I used to be an executive assistant I get it when I was doing that I did all of this kind of shit I was making all the phone calls doing all the appointments returning all the packages like you know taking care of business and they didn't have to fucking lift a finger with any of that kind of stuff and they could work on their business and focus on that instead and like wouldn't that be nice but um Jesus it's really not that bad like people have way harder than I do. I feel like I've said this in previous podcasts. I think I'll sum

the episode up by saying that now life is a obvious journey. But I think it's cool to look back a few years and and look at where I was and see where I am now and go like holy shit you got everything you've ever wanted legit like I and I think that finding a partner finding my best friend and having something like real and and healthy and and like it's it just eases so many other areas of my life just knowing I have that and not having because I think that was an area where it's like yeah I was single I was dating and I was like had boyfriends here you know whatever like um like this time last year was in a year-long relationship and you know what I mean like I've but it was never the right person so now I'm like fuck I got I finally figured that

out or it feels it feels like I've like there's no wavering there's no doubts there's no like maybe I don't know it'll work out it's like no we will like it's just that and I cannot believe I'm even saying that so I feel to end the episode I just feel really blessed and super grateful for my life right now and the freedom I have and the love and the, all the doggies in my life and my health. It's just like, everything's firing on all cylinders. I did have a bump in the road obviously this weekend, which I didn't really get into like, um, my mental whole bullshit but um yeah I feel I'm just like I we I always say this to Corey we'll just we'll just be like are we best friends and then like fucking five times a day I'm just thinking to

myself does it get any better than this it can I is it possible for me to get any happier like do I need to start taking drug like what like is this peak happiness like I get so like how does it get better you know like that's insane and back to the whole like leading by example and teaching people what I know to help them and being the poster child of like life like life coaches and shit um sharing their tips and tricks on how to be a person or whatever um I think I'm at that age now where maybe people will take me seriously if I started sharing my life advice and tips and tricks like I don't know I feel like if you're 22 it's like you can't really get out people still do it but it's different like once you as you get older

I don't know I just feel like I have a lot of shit figured out and I'm I don't um and I think I could help you like I don't you know what I mean so I'll get there when I get there but right now it's kind of in that in the works maybe doing a series or really like diving into like just like how to live a fucking rock star fucking great life and how to manifest I don't want to say manifest like literally how to get it because I think a lot of the things I do and a lot of the ways I am or my qualities and my behavior and all that is not being sold anywhere right now and it's not common um especially with it's common but

how do i say this i i think i could help if you're like me i think if i maybe it's like i could help women cory thinks i should do like personal training and share like nutrition advice too i'm like he's got all these ideas for me i'm like god damn maybe i'll build multiple businesses around myself and create create a goddamn empire and fucking do a ted talk someday I don't know but I definitely I just don't struggle like I feel like I have my struggles but there's so many things I do and so many like mental things I do that have helped me so much in my life that I want to share and I think I'm ready to share but we'll get there when we get there of course um yeah what does Corey always tell me I'm just gonna say this because it's so weird

saying what someone else compliments me on but they're like he always just tells me you just get it you just get it like you know when you listen to a podcast or you listen to someone talk and you're just like they just get it there's something about what it is what it means to be a person who gets it or what did I just say I'm so brain dead right now like I think it's a lot of people like that have had a lot of life experience probably a lot of trauma they've had to figure shit out for themselves and they've been through the trenches they've faced a lot of adversity and they've come out on the other side a better person and

I've identified as one of those people and I think that gives me perspective that and if you don't have perspective, if you're not able to frequently zoom out and look at the big picture instead of focusing on the minuscule details of life, if you're not frequently seeing things, yeah, seeing the big picture, then you'll probably struggle. I can, just because I've been there, i i feel like you're that's why people struggle is they're wound up on problems and small details instead of the yeah the big picture and the and big ideas and dreams and whatever like so yeah i could get into another time clearly i can podcast for hours like i think my sweet spot is two hours is this a two-hour podcast um yeah so

what else can i get into should i just end it cory's gonna be home um with louie soon and is there anything fun to tell you about louie louie had his surgery louie no longer excuse me has his balls so that's the latest louie update um I debated with Corey for like an hour about whether um getting a dog neutered and getting getting their balls taken out or chopped off is called neutering or castration I was firm on castration he's like no it's neutering once again he's right we've looked it up it's called like it can be castration it's castration but uh the common term or the right way to say it I guess

is neutering i thought but females are spayed males are neutered and i was like males are castrated females are neutered cats are spayed i was all confused but um our entire relationship is me debating cory and him being right every single time and it's so fun like i don't purpose i just say what i think and then it's wrong like a lot of the times and then he's like why do you even why do you even question me at this point like every time I'm right every it's great I learned so much that's the thing about our relationship I learn so much I'm always learning with him and um like I have a lot of trust in his like um direction like advice and everything because every time he's given me advice every time he's

like taught me something it's usually like the right thing and it feels right so cool um live laugh love merry christmas love you please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now and finally i do have a patreon if you want to support the show uh entertain you now for two hours or whatever if you want to tip me it's just a tip jar that's what my patreon is you don't get anything over there um you can tip me five bucks a month over at patreon.com slash tjms and yeah where else do i need to plug my shit jacqueline on instagram tiktok jacqueline Monroe um that's it love you hope you had a great new year hope you're staying I hope you're reached on I didn't even talk about my new year's resolutions and you know why because I don't have

any I just I'm always always crying you know but that's the thing with goal setting like you shouldn't I get what I get the new year and the fresh start but like I think that makes you put things off until that date and i just like to constantly i like to live my life like consistent patterns over time and little like one percent improvements instead of like on january 1st i'm gonna lose 30 pounds in 30 days you know so all right anyways that's it love you and i'll talk to you next week bye ice in my veins i've been driving this train years in this lane there's no stopping this Cause I came to the game and I changed it to play

How I like rearranged it to my own domain Yeah, I got what it takes Made lots of mistakes Taking shots, skipping breaks Feeling lost, feeling great