The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 329- I Am Innocent

Episode Date: January 26, 2023

In this episode, I talk about a viral TikTok that blew my mind, the LA dance hall shooting, Kylie Jenner's lion's head dress at Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week, Doja Cat's red body paint and 30,000 crystal outfit, my latest golf obsession, how to full send your personality, rating food items, and more! Thanks for listening ILYSM!!  Patreon.com/TJMS

What's up, guys? It's episode 329. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show what's up um hi thanks for being here thanks for hanging out today this is going to be a very I don't know what kind of episode is this going to be this is going to be like a show and tell episode uh discover things about the world as I go episode um I used to I used to do this a lot where I'd sit down and I'd read cnn.com for like an hour just like check out all the latest headlines and like get a pulse on the world around me and what's going on because there's a lot there's a lot going on there's a lot we need to talk about I want to start off with this okay

um first before I get into the crazy ass video I'm about to play um hit that subscribe button if you haven't already and head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show it's five dollars a month uh go check it out at patreon.com slash tjms it's my it's like it's my subscription service um just go over there and you'll figure it out um okay let's get into it yeah I'm not even gonna do life updates I'm not gonna do any of that I mean like it's same it's like okay well she's been I've been working I've been golfing I've been uh I've I will life update I'm taking golf lessons um so that's happening now I'm doing life updates let's get to the video it's like if you are a regular listener uh not a lot to update you that's new okay cool

I've been dreaming on in my head like I've seen it a life worth living is a life with meaning I'll do what I love till my heart stops beating I'm feeding this demon I need to direct your attention to at dot I dot am dot innocent on TikTok okay uh it says her her name is not a murderer and before I play her videos from a distance when I'm looking looking at her thumbnails she looks about I'm gonna put her at 15 16 somewhere in there she's white strawberry blonde hair um she looks like she plays soccer or something like she's involved in her student Bonnie she looks like a really nice girl she definitely does not look like a murderer okay um so yeah from a distance I I mean sweet as apple pie like America's uh girl next door okay

that's the vibe so let me just play it here we go and we're gonna like figure this out together because I'm so lost hi my name is Melissa and I'm a junior in high school and I've recently been accused of murdering my brother so i'd like to come on here and spread the truth about how this did not happen because i know there's been a lot of false information being spread on the news i am innocent okay that's the first video here's the second video there's three my lawyer is telling me not to speak publicly about my murder case but i will not be silenced when my brother was killed it was 10 30 and i was at my friend's house at 11 how can i kill someone if i'm not even with them okay third video jesus christ hello everyone i hope you all had a great christmas

and i just wanted to come on here and update you about my murder case my lawyer is suggesting that i plea guilty due to the evidence that the prosecutors have against me and this would mean that i would be accepting a plea of 20 years but i have decided to decline this offer and go to court to fight for my freedom okay so her name is melissa she's a junior in high school and she is claiming that she did not murder her brother now she's saying there's misinformation or lies all over the news i personally haven't heard about this melissa kills her brother googling that on tiktok are people talking about this um oh in quotes here maybe this is the the answer uh in quotes class project melissa accused of murdering murdering brother explained as tiktok

gets trolled for seemingly fake homicide okay like it's so fucked up to fake this that's why a lot of people in the comments were thinking this was like a class project but let me read it here um oh wait there's another guy his name's daniel doing the same thing wait on one hand melissa's account is under the name i am innocent and her friend daniel's account handle is I am guilty surprisingly surprisingly there are only three and three and six videos on their accounts respectively all talking about the alleged incident okay so is this a class project is that and Daniel's first video we didn't watch Daniel's videos um the daniel guy said a little update for you guys me melissa are in an ongoing investigation

for melissa's brother's murder and we want justice i am innocent and i can be an alibi for melissa and say that she's innocent as well because on the day of the murder we were hanging out so if this is i don't know this is a class project that's so i mean it had people so confused it had me confused this is like some dumb shit i saw on the internet today when i said we're gonna sit and discover the world i mean i have i have some saved tiktoks that i thought would be interesting to bring to the table today for you to like i don't know get entertained by with me so um there's like a mass shooting to talk about um in LA at a dance studio that happened two nights ago um yeah 10 people dead 10 people

injured 72 year old gunman I guess is he on the loose should we go into that now there's like Andrew Tate stuff there's oh Jesus it's hard I mean being a content or being a podcast host with your own show like it's my self-titled the Jacqueline Monroe show podcast right um it's like with okay here's here's my issue i'm fucking brilliant sometimes uh duh jacqueline you didn't niche down okay your niche is your life and your and your like life updates and whatever you want to talk about so good luck it's a big pond of information out there you could sift through every time you record um like it's just never ending there's so much to talk about there's so much going on going on all the time on the internet um okay so i think this whole

yeah the whole like class it was a class project let me see where the top comments were really quick um hope you all had a great christmas this is giving mock trial vibes better calls um this has to be a skit this is definitely a high school project what are the comments on that i've i've been a tiktok rat rat lately like um i remember during 2020 when i was like down and out i just watched tiktok for literally six hours at a time doing i do nothing all day and i've gotten so far away from that where i didn't even I didn't have TikTok for a while and then I redownloaded it and I'd go on it maybe like twice a week but now now it's a not only I'm making content for TikTok now like I'm actually

posting fun little vids um I'm watching it like all the fucking time like it's pretty bad I if you have a boyfriend out there that you live with or a husband or a wife or if you sleep next to someone every night maybe your roommate I don't know do you does can anyone relate to this you get ready for bed get in bed with your phone maybe you turn the tv on and you start you click the Netflix app okay and then all of a sudden an hour and a half has gone by and both of you have been you're laying next to each other and both of you have your volume at a pretty low level so it's not disrupting the other person's listening or video watching you both have your volume at a pretty low level and you're scrolling TikTok

and just in your own world next to your like the person or you're next to each other doing that like like I know we're not alone in this I know we're not alone um it just sort of happens like all of a sudden you look over at each other like oh my like you it's like a blackout it's like you're in the TikTok black hole you're down the TikTok rabbit hole and your brain is so locked into your screen and then one of you are like yeah he'll like look over at me and we'll both kind of slowly turn our heads at the same time and we'll be like like literally like bracing ourselves like holy fucking shit it's like 11 30 p.m or no we don't stay up that late it's like we get in bed at nine and it's like 10 30 and we're still scrolling and we're like we haven't

then you know like what so yeah that's something we're um consciously working on as a couple as of yesterday I mentioned it I was like I think we're like I feel disgusted by this like in the moment I'm like I fucking love it I'm it's we're chilling we're together you know you're right there I'm you know we're close just like and it's a relaxing it's a nice little because tiktoks are there's they're fun as fuck to watch and um yeah so anyways how did i get on that oh i said i'm on tiktok now um where was i before that should we get into the yeah what happened in la yesterday it's fucking terrible um la shooting mass shooting oh jesus what what exactly happened um he's dead oh jesus suspect in shooting this is as of

last night at 8 43 p.m january 22nd suspect in shooting at dance hall near los angeles los angeles is dead sheriff says a motive remains unclear in the attack in southern california which killed 10 people and injured 10 others who had gathered for a lunar near lunar near near new year festival jesus um what to know about what to know about the mass shooting in monterey park so this was at a dance hall right what kind of dance hall um monterey yeah dance hall that's what they're calling it 10 people killed and at least 10 others were wounded here the suspect was identified as who con can h-u-u-c-a-n last name can c-a-n

oh wait there's the third oh fuck who can tran 72 who died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound los angeles county sheriff robert luna said the suspect was found dead in a van in torrance after a traffic stop led to a standoff oh shit okay authorities found evidence in the van linking the suspect to both the monterey park shooting and another incident in the nearby city of alhambra alhambra is that how you say it um i'm going cross-eyed this new microphone i'm like viewing the screen between sorry talking about imagining I should not be laughing this is like whatever um it's it's terrible like okay um stay on Jacqueline stay on task here I am talking about going cross-eyed I want to say speaking of going cross-eyed I'm also going

blind okay life update I need an I need glasses I think I need I think it's officially i'm officially at the point now where i need to get my eyes checked because i was at salt and straw getting a scoop of ice cream yesterday after i ate an entire large pizza with cory after we golfed and i was at salt and straw and i looked up at the fucking flavors to pick out and i knew i wanted a salted malted cookie dough whatever flavor they have i already knew i wanted that one but I couldn't fucking read it on the on the on the board okay it was it's I could read it but here's what's going on it's fuzzy okay words are fuzzy now from a distance I'm good up close but fuzzy from a distance and then Corey was like hey can you read the there's like a disclaimer thing

at the very bottom that was in tiny print and it was a struggle it was a it was like I had to pause between each word like I couldn't and I used to think I had eagle eyes I used to think I had 20 you know I was like that was my flex I was like oh I have you know great vision and shit it's getting bad um probably from falling asleep to my iPhone every night um you know like am I starting okay I wish I was into like biohacking and like okay not that I'm not I wish I like like I know things are bad for me and I could do better but I do them anyways like I know that falling asleep with your phone is probably not is affecting probably my sleep even though it's not so fucked up I feel great I feel like I'm aging like a fine wine that's not an issue

I feel like other than my eyesight going bad from my phone I don't really feel like yeah i'm addicted to it i'm obsessed with like tiktok right now like i don't know like i don't think my life sucks that bad because i'm addicted to my phone i don't really think my life sucks in at all so like whatever but but yeah as far as health stuff goes i'm like i feel like there's so many little things i could be doing different i wake up and i chug 200 milligrams of coffee or caffeine every morning before the gym at like 5 30 a.m it's probably not healthy then I'm spiking my cortisol and I like ran four and a half miles 4.45 really proud of that around that ran that this morning on the treadmill after I drank all that caffeine

and my cortisol is probably through the roof it's probably affecting my hormones it's probably affecting my uh energy for the rest of the day it's probably you know like you hear all these things this what's so annoying about the internet there's so much information out there that's contradicting where I'm like wait so I've been told that like over exhausting yourself doing cardio is gonna fuck up your female hormones and blah blah blah blah you should focus on lifting and strength which I are all I probably do I do strength I do Jesus I'm on a tangent and I apologize I was I was I'm gonna finish this murder uh the mass shooting in LA thing because I want to kind of see the what the like remaining information is on it Jesus how did I get here

this is why I love podcasting I am drinking nice coffee at late in the afternoon okay so I lift weights say like 80% of the time maybe more than that um and then I do I always do if I want to if I do cardio I do like 20 minutes at the end of my lifting workouts so I feel like I'm doing it right I feel great anyways um but yeah there's all these little tips and tricks and hacks and like put red light bulbs in your bedroom and put your phone in the kitchen and you know all this stuff you hear where I'm like I don't implement very much of it like I do what works for me and I always preach that I'm like test it out see if you like it if you don't that's okay doesn't mean you're not going to be a healthy person you know because it's endless the bio

hacking the self-improvement the self-help the books you can read the conference or the Tony Robbins Tony Robbins conferences you go to the types of the acupuncture the whatever like you could do it all it never ends just figure out what works for you and do that um but yeah I like waking up and going to war at like five in the morning um 5 36 at the gym and like like exhausting myself in a workout but then I'll read some shit on or I'll see something on um tiktok or instagram or some like health person saying oh that's specking your core you're elevating your and I'm like okay but anyways oh yeah now there's this new thing it's it's like working out according to your cycle and like when you're ovulating it's

the best time to that's when you can max do your highest weight and like in most intense workouts and then when you're on your period just like stick to like volume and like don't don't work out as hard and like when um the day after your it's just like oh my god I'm actually into that I think it's a pretty pretty cool um uh concept going around the internet right now that you should that you can like work out the way you work out or you should work out you should let's get this straight i'm this is i'm in a fog i'm in a haze hold on i don't the the workout you choose to do that day should um follow your cycle or should be in alignment with your fucking cycle by the way okay um moving on let's get back to the

so seven of ten people injured in the mass shooting remain hospitalized seven of ten injured people who survived saturday nights saturday nights mass shooting at a monterey park california dance hall remained at hospitals sunday evening there's this the surviving victims were not identified in individual conditions for them was unavailable authorities initially said some of those survivors were in critical condition while others had been stabilized like do we know excuse me do we know about like age like like these teenagers were they older people like i don't know it's just fucking scary I just hate I just hate hate I hate death and I hate destruction I hate like why just why why you

know sometimes if I this is what happens when you read the news too much especially when there's shootings I'm like sometimes it feels like every time we step out in the world it's like a major life or death major life or death risk I and I know like the odds are in your favor for the most part you're gonna walk outside your door you're gonna go to the store you're gonna go to the football game you're gonna go to the movie theater and everything's gonna be fine you know but these headlines you see it's just like I get like paranoid I get paranoid and that's why even with this fucking Koberger Brian Koberger case like I've been and I talked about this on the last episode the Idaho murder case like

my paranoia in my EBG I have the EBGBs now about getting stabbed in my sleep like that never like last night and I'm just more on edge I guess is the word I'm more because I've gotten in too deep with that case and I've been trying to wean myself off of it because there's still there's a lot of content on the internet going around about it and it's fucking sad it's it's sad that it's become entertainment for people and it's like we're all in this real time true crime show and there's even I can't even believe they did a date line already on it and they already had like the they're interviewing the parents and like it's just it seems way too soon because this just happened in what was it November yeah so anyways

um i've been trying to wean myself off of it a little bit but um like like last night for example i don't really get spooked or scared easily like i do like it depends like if i'm in a haunted house or something but i walk in jimmy um god i passed out i was like you know when you're like fully done for the night like tired wise like your whole body's heavy your eyes are heavy you're just done like you can't even move your your it's sleep time um I was in that mode and then Jimmy my golden retriever comes over to the bed and does a little stupid whine that he does when he needs to shit and I'm like because I know that my sleep's about to get disturbed and I hate when that happens and

admittedly it's my fault because he went out at like seven and that's like that was his last walk and I didn't give him a lot of time to take a shit so maybe if I gave him another five minutes he would have so long story short um even after I took him out let me get to the story okay so I throw on a bathrobe my slippers um get the leash I take Jimmy out and he takes he takes a piss I walked him back and forth a few times no he never shits at the end of the he never took a shit so I'm like I'm annoyed I'm like just got up from my deep sleep for this bullshit um I always have a thought my thought when I walk my dogs uh is always like life is not all about you Jacqueline like this is the moment of your day

that it's for someone else you're giving your you're putting you're helping some someone else you're not that you're putting yourself what am I saying it's the one time a day when I walk the dogs it's like I'm helping them they're this is it's like the least selfish part of my day I guess is what I'm saying and it feels good right so like even though I was frustrated with him for not taking a shit that's I kept reminding myself like you know he needed to go out he obviously needed to pee or whatever but this part of the story I'm trying to get to is when I walked him back for the last time on this there's like a sidewalk um I saw a fucking face there's like a teeny there's construction right and there's like a little alleyway where there's like boards on

each side of it and I just saw the face it was like lit up by a light it was just a guy's a like a man's face I don't really remember what it looked like it was just like a fucking face and my heart I mean I had my heart was in my ass or my stomach was in my like everything dropped I went into fight or flight I grabbed Jimmy I sprinted and that reaction the reason I'm saying that is that was so like yeah I got spooked but normally if I got spooked like that I just probably go oh shit and then I like you know what keep walking I was acting as if that was a man with a fucking knife coming after me like it was that intense I come inside on my heart's racing i'm telling cory like i locked the door all like i was being so fucking dramatic i'm

this is the thing i you know i tend to wear my flaws on my sleeve here and i don't know if that's the best thing about or like a healthy thing or whatever i like i like let it all hang out tell you and admit shit when i'm not proud of it and i feel like there i always find the humor in it too so it's like I don't know whatever but like as I was like actually spooked like genuinely like I'm scared but I feel like I played that up like with the way I or I was like acting am I not am I fucking not am I fake am I okay I'm like locking the door all dramatically and I'm like panting as I come inside which was real I actually had like my heart my heart was racing but it's like Jacqueline why did you have to go onto your breathwork app

next to Corey in bed and like calm down like that like why were you being that dramatic like I was safe I know I was safe but he's like oh you're it was that bad it's like there's something something always happens when I go outside I swear um but anyways so it's just because of all this murder shit I'm seeing I get I'm like on edge now um I don't know if that happens to you but it happens to me it's like the yeah the paranoia I'll never forget when um I forget what shooting it was I want to say it was a Vegas shooting yeah it was after the Vegas shooting I remember I worked at my on my college campus at Washington University

and um I was walking home from work one day and that whole time I was so paranoid I remember I there were two movies I went and saw around that time and I literally I left during them like I couldn't sit in a movie theater um I was too anxious the whole time and then I was walking home from work one day and I saw a guy in the back of the library after hours with a black hood on okay with his laptop open and all i saw was a black handgun video playing on youtube and he was like laying low in a hoodie in the back of the library at like 5 30 p.m and i'm just like this looks odd i literally called and reported it and it turns out they actually sent someone back there to check it out this guy was in the police academy or some shit but like i was

paranoid and i like you know um i just hate that feeling i just fucking hate that feeling of being scared um who likes that feeling i don't it's just it's no fun um what else is going on uh okay we talked about the shooting should i go on buzzfeed just see what like the headlines are i don't know I used to do this too um oh shit okay I saw this video there's like fashion week or something going on right now I don't know I used to have an idea about well what's what's going on the fashion world now I'm out of the loop um but I saw this video of Kylie wearing a lion's head on her chest like as a dress and is it my question the thing I'm trying to get to here is and there was a girl on the runway wearing it

it's Shia Pirelli Shia Pirelli hot couture hot couture how do you say it hot couture it's paris fashion week i think that's what they're wearing shia peli sheer shia parelli hot couture yeah i just want to know is that a real lion's head because if it is like that's so fucked up um i i hope it's fake um um lion's head kylie dress will that show question mark real um pita defends kylie jenner's polarizing lion headdress fabulously innovative fear not the lion on kylie's dress is fake yeah yeah you just could not get away with that if you had a real lion's head on your dress like like it looks sick though

like it's it's so fucking i don't know i love it i think it looks what do you call that like a juxtaposition is that the right word juxt juxtaposition definition juxtaposition definition the fact that two things are being seen are placed close together with contrasting effect yeah um it's just and then doja cat had like she was all red like crust encrusted in red like crystals or something like head to toe like every cranny of her body including like her eyelids had this like red beading on it I don't really know what's going on I just saw some content of this and I was like that's fucking crazy so it's a it's a couture show in Paris for spring 2023 um I like the I like fashion shit I think it's cool I used to collect

Vogue magazines I used to want to be a Vogue girl like the devil I wanted to be like um Anne Hathaway's character in the Devil Wears Prada like I romanticized that life for so long when I was probably in like high school and early college and I almost went to fashion school but I don't know like my life looks so just like what I'm into now has shifted so much and just what what's important to me I guess um but I think that's normal like when I was younger I was more materialistic and I like I always wanted new new like new stuff like I was always like thinking about I want this I want that I like never look around I don't look around anymore and want anything if that makes sense um I'm like annoying like that like what are you juggling what you know

what do you want for your birthday what do you want for Christmas like it's like for the most part I'll buy it for myself but I don't I'm not a big dreamer when it comes to like you know I want to buy a yacht someday or I want to buy a you know a beachfront house in Malibu or I want to like I don't sit and my brain doesn't even dream that up um I have big dreams but it's not it's not for things it's not for like I mean there's a handful I guess of like oh big purchases that would be exciting to make someday I guess that well I don't know I don't like look like I noticed like I don't know it's not like I have like stuff saved on my Instagram of like I want that I want that

I do buy a stupid shit on Amazon it's probably I mean that's like daily stuff you need though I don't know what I'm saying um but yeah to have like a Prada couture dress or something like I don't like dream of like or dream of what's like an example like bags aren't shit to me I used to work at coach um at the coach outlet mall or coach factory outlet and I know too much about the the industry of like bags and shit where I'm like I don't really I it's the thing the thing is is I don't put it doesn't mean anything to me it's just like oh that's nice like I appreciate it I appreciate a luxury good appreciate the craftsmanship I appreciate like the beautiful like I got this beautiful cashmere coat yesterday at the farmer's market and I was it's like a blend

of cashmere and something else and I like I was so the material was so um buttery and heavy and and it just it hung so well and like like I have appreciation for it so it's not like I'm shitting on things that are nice it's just that I don't it's kind of here nor there to me um it's not yeah i don't like strive for one of my so basically i'm telling you i'm not a materialistic bitch like i used to be when i was younger but um i'm all about experiences and like you know having beautiful relationships and um you know what i'm into now fucking golf where do i even start i didn't go on i didn't even go on buzzfeed so as you can tell if you follow me on instagram i'm a

uh driving range rat at the moment i'm taking golf golf lessons and i'm trying to work on my golf swing so i can go play 18 holes like a fucking champ okay so i just like the idea of being really good at golf and i don't i don't know how to explain it i'm like what's the point of playing if you suck you know what's the point of it's like so hard like it's so hard to get good at I mean there's so many little things and just the game itself the rules of the game to know like all the little nuances of golf like there's so much to know and like like putting for example like I was taught oh like at first my ex he

I love when I met Corey when we went golfing for our first date and like two weeks before that my ex why am I talking about my fucking ex on my podcast I shouldn't even bring him up I never I haven't talked about him in like nine months whatever but I remember like Corey corrected all the things my ex taught me about my golf swing and it made it 10 times better. And now I'm like killing it. Right. Like compare, compared to what I started at. And I just like, I don't know. It just made me, it just made me laugh. Especially my putting, like my putting technique is, it's just like, there's the thing, the thing is with golf is it doesn't really matter how you do it. It just like get the ball in the hole. Right. Like that's what everyone's trying to do. There's

all these methods and techniques and swing thoughts you can have and like grips. And there's so many little things and ways of getting the ball in the hole. Right. And it doesn't really matter how you do it. So, but I just feel like, yeah, I'm pretty blessed that Corey's in my life because it's been so fun. Like we go, we go to the range like fucking three times a week. It feels like right now and lessons on top of that and um it's just it's fun because yeah I like the idea of getting really good at it and just doing it for life like it's because what happened so I went to school right elementary school middle school high school and I played like the typical sports like volleyball soccer basketball you know all the team sports and then you graduate high school and

you're not going D1 you're not if I'm not gonna go play basketball at a fucking D3 school like I didn't want to keep going right like it stopped for me and then now I'm just a gym person and I just work out all the time that was that was my like fitness um or my sport that became like my sport and then yoga at certain points and Pilates and but what I like about golf is it's like this is a individual sport that you can play for like literally the rest of your life and it's social like you're out in a beat on a beautiful golf course at you know you're hanging out in these gorgeous country clubs all over the country you can travel and do it you can go like in other countries and do it it's great it's like a lifestyle thing so I don't I just like really

want to kill it. And my goal is to break 90 by the end of the year. And I don't know if that's going to happen, but we're going to try. I'm, I was like, Corey, what, what would impress you in the next year of me playing, uh, me starting golf or like I started in, was it April, 2021? No, excuse me. 2022. Yeah. So it's been under a year. So like, he's like, yeah, if you broke 90 in the first year, I'd be pretty impressed. So challenge accepted. That's the thing. I love golf because I'm really competitive. Like it's, everything's a fucking game to me and I, and I, and I always want to win. And so it's like, and I'm personally competitive. I think that's the thing. I'm like competitive with myself. So it's a perfect sport for me. So what

I'm saying is I'm one sec. We also, I need another water break. am I annoying whatever um hi how are you doing are you enjoying this episode what even happened on this episode I don't know like it's kind of whatever but um yeah I like the mental game the mental challenge the mental um side of golf and it's very therapeutic for me for some reason and so yeah I've been obsessed lately if you can't I mean I've been posting my swing like every time I go the range on fucking Instagram and um yeah so what I'm saying is I'm a golf babe and that's you know just my new it's my new brand um and I love like the clothes like the fucking golf clothes you can buy and like the swag like

just the the bag swag like the little towels you can get and the fucking tees and the I have pink golf balls it's fun as fuck I'm so excited like I first of all like a couple years ago my life has gotten so much better like I love reflecting and looking back because like I started this in 2020 when I was down and out as fuck it's crazy how like now someone like now I have a passion I have a purpose I have hobbies I have things going on I like it's I have a dog I have an amazing boyfriend. I have this amazing, like my job's amazing. Like everything's firing on all cylinders and it's so crazy. Like it just took a little time for me. Like it happened. I'm glad it happened in my twenties. I think that's what I'm proud of. I'm proud of the fact that I did the work early

and I didn't allow problems to fester for a long time because I think people that are, a lot of times people that are miserable and down and out kind of like that because they like being miserable and they don't change and they don't improve themselves because they like the attention they get from the problems they have and they're like that's where they feel like alive or like important is when people give them sympathy and talk to them about their problems all the time like I don't know it's like a it's like a toxic little shit show bubble thing they're in and it's like a perpetual cycle so I'm proud of the fact what I'm saying is I'm proud of the fact that I reckon I recognize that that in myself um in my mid-20s and I was like I don't want to live

the rest of my life like this and I fucking took action I got after it and I um yeah and I feel like that's just one of the best things I did in my 20s or the biggest accomplishments I guess is I personally I healed my personal bullshit and I don't have mental health stuff um anymore not even like what do I have now like what's my shit like what what's my what's my shit I mean maybe it's like what do I I think I still have like the social thing where I'm like I have no friends and I work from home and it's really hard to find friends in San Diego I've been here for four years like I'm insecure about that like what does that say about me as a woman and as a person

that she doesn't have very many friends like that's is that you know that to me I'm judging myself because I'm like other people from the outside looking in probably think of that as like there's something wrong with her you know and there may be truth to that maybe I'm not I'm I don't know I don't know what it is I'm happy with a with a little bit of socializing not I don't need a lot to make me feel okay um but that's the part where that's that's the bucket i'm trying to fill up and i feel like it's always been me befriending my boyfriend's friends and like those are my new friends i don't know that's always been what it is but i don't have my own independently from the relationship and i'm i did meet someone in the sauna the other day

um she's from washington which was cool and yeah my new gym i i'm already chumming people up on a regular basis and getting to know people like in the locker room so it's probably gonna happen this year but um or I want to I want to make it happen like I'm so my shit what I'm saying is I am not I'm not the socialite of San Diego that I want to be uh in 2023 like I said that two years ago as a joke I was like I just want to be like you know when you watch those tv shows and it's like she's you know the main character of the reality show and there's just like gossip all the time about people and like the things they do together and the traveling they do together

and then something went down in Cabo and then they go back to uh Newport and then someone did this and fucked her over and then it's just there's like so much going on in her social life like I was joking like I want to be like that I think I said that for 2021 wait what the fuck okay wait I started my podcast in 2020 wait time doesn't feel right right now like if so like it's like 2020 part three to wait 2020 I need to like does anyone else when you say a date or when you think of time do you see a picture in your head like I see an oval i see an oval and i see months

in an like in a pattern or they like go in the oval okay whatever so 2020 i'm counting on my fingers like a four-year-old 2020 2021 so september 2020 i started September 2021 that's one year September 2021 September 2022 which was just this last fall was two years of podcasting so September this year will be my third year of podcasting holy fuck okay yeah time's crazy right now like when I don't like the date I don't like looking at 2023 kind of pisses me off like the the way it looks the two three I don't know so yeah what was I saying I'm proud of myself I've made it so far I've come a long way this is like um just gonna go on

insta is there anything I saved on my um fuck wait let me go on to my notes app social media death to the female personality oh topics um I do like this video what do you guys think of this I uh kind of goes in line with what I talked about on my last episode I just really like what this guy said about how social media has changed women um I feel like it's just so true and it's kind of undeniable what he says so I'm not really going to elaborate on it because I've kind of ironed this out and I feel I don't know like I said on the I think on the last episode I just feel kind of like

I'm like worried about my tone towards women right now because I'm like really like critical of the way women are in this modern world and then I'm like yeah like I have all these judgments and opinions and then I'm sitting here telling you I'm I don't have girlfriends and then I'm like is that because I'm like so I don't does that go together like is that it can is that connected probably like it's just that I don't like a lot of the way women in my generation and younger operate and conduct themselves and I think it's like just fucking us up as a society and like messing up relationships and making people and like yeah so just hold on let me play the video and then I'm going to shut up and then

go on to something else but that's that's just yeah something I'm kind of thinking about um when it comes to my show here and it's like I'm perceiving myself like why do I always have to do that like how am I being perceived right now by my audience that's where you that's where life that that's where the um the freedom is in life is not giving a fuck speaking your mind figuring it out as you go messing up being authentic being raw being vulnerable saying things exactly how you think them and then just letting it let it all hang out and move forward maybe you learn something maybe you change your perspective maybe you have a new opinion about women in the way maybe I'm

like in a year I'm like fuck yeah OnlyFans woo like get your bad girl like you know show those tits on your Instagram like shake that ass like you know like I could be like that in a year I'm just saying it's it's all good um but right now yeah it's just it's such a strange time and I don't know I just like what this guy said here you go you know what I see Instagram and TikTok doing to girls today you know my generation was one of the first to get access to social media so I got to see how the apps have developed and how people have used them has changed and how it's changed people over time and girls used to be way different their personality was so much more intact because they had to develop the personality they wanted to they didn't have a need to be

absolutely superficially perfect because they didn't have the extraordinary levels of body validation and attention on them at all times online like they do today so it's like the female psyche and spirit is evaporating as the years go on and it's leaving girls i think feeling really empty and weak morally and i don't think anyone can agree that what social has done to us has been a net positive so that's um at kyle x patrick on instagram or excuse me tiktok um he might be on instagram too yeah that one hit me like a bus i was like fuck um because i related a lot to what he said about

let me let me actually riff on this for a sec because i and i know i said i didn't want to elaborate but what's new uh saying i'm not going to talk about something and talk about it anyways like let's take myself let's take this back to and so I'm speaking as a 20-something girl um straight girl I don't know if I say that she or her what do I pronounce like I'm a white woman in society I mean I'm a white 20-something woman in this society with an Instagram account and I've been on social media since I was in seventh grade okay and let's just break this down for a sec so I remember when I got my MacBook yeah my first MacBook it was it was seventh grade and I remember when I started taking like photo booth pictures of myself like cute

little selfies and you know taking pictures with my friends on photo booth and then going to like school parties and dances and posting our pictures on myspace I had like a secret myspace I wasn't supposed to have and then of course we all got Facebook and then you're posting your profile pictures on that and you're you know everyone sees you oh Jacqueline has a new profile picture and it's like holy shit people are liking it they're commenting you're so beautiful blah blah or like you know pretty eyes or whatever they said great smile and that started happening and then you know you're in the tag pictures from all the things you would go to and then you're like think then then this is what started to happen is I became really insecure about my body because of

I was comparing myself to um and this is like so crazy to like look look at right now because I'm so on the other side where I'm it's not that I'm desensitized but like I'm so unfazed by like Instagram and like beauty and bodies and like I don't I guess it's because I've actually gotten I've arrived at a place in my life where I'm extremely secure and I love my body and I'm not critical at the I mean I there's always a little bit of criticism right like you're always going to be like i got you know a little fluffy this weekend when i ate an entire large piece no like what did i have like six slices i actually posted a tiktok of me eating pizza it was kind of funny um you know there's always that little like voice like you know tighten it tighten it up a little

bit do a little more maybe cardio this week or you know cut back on the fucking cheesecake whatever like there's always going to be that but i'm so i'm at a place now where it's like it doesn't rule my life okay but I do remember in high school looking at like profiles of the girls from across town the girls of the other high schools and like their hot pictures they were posting they were like the it was like a different a whole different world of like girls at this high school they're so pretty in my eyes and like like what you'd see in the movies you know like I just remember this specific like friend group I would stalk one of my friends from my elementary school went to that high school and then it was like her friends I just remember

being like oh my god they're so tan and blonde and like pretty so I just always kind of felt like a dumpy frumpy frumpilopolis in high school and I and I honestly like in my eyes I was like I was kind of a chubbier girl in high school not like chubby just like I don't know whatever um so yeah and then all of a sudden I got Instagram when I was 18 freshman in college and that that's when I started like dating guys and like going to college parties and dressing up and like looking quote-unquote hot and taking pictures of my hot outfits and like you know being in the scene and like you know just that kind of lifestyle and I started taking like selfies all the time and posting them and what am I even getting to but I didn't here's what's happened so in my experience

with social media being a girl and posting content of myself and pictures um I feel like even now it's like I'm posting this picture because I feel beautiful and I feel cute and I feel hot well I feel whatever I'm like in my eyes I think I look good so I post it right and it's like I do it it's like I'm doing it for myself and I could give two shits who likes my pictures like that's the thing I don't I think because I used to like I said hate my pretty much just hate myself hate my body hate everything like my personality just um it's almost a it's like what do you call exposure therapy like when I post when I started posting pictures and videos of myself talking even podcasts of me talking where I used to hate my voice it was like

it helped me like love myself more in a weird way like being like oh I think I look good and I'm going to post that picture because I think I look good and then other people are like you look good and then it's just like validation right but um I can confidently say that I didn't lose myself in this process personality wise I think um I I think what I what I see now I'm back to this guy's video it's like girls just they're just your whole lifestyle is about your appearance and the next instagram picture and the next spray tan you need to get the next hair extensions you need to buy the next eyelashes you need to get the next botox the next lip filler and the next jawline filler and the next you know hot outfit

from boohoo and then it's just like that's like then it's just the lifestyle is about how you look which it always has been for women like your appearance is your your beauty is your currency as a woman in this society in this western world whatever I don't know I mean that's just my opinion I think that there is something to be said about that and I do think that beautiful people get ahead in this world and have an advantage and there's a social hierarchy okay and it is what it is like I'm not going to sit here and talk about how wrong that is like that's just almost like evolution right like and then you're all we're all trying to like find a and like you know put her best face and body forward right but yeah again back to this guy's

video it's like women have it's like dumbed us down and I find myself sometimes like if I post like just like a hot pic and I'm like no caption or like no humor nothing I just kind of feel it's always for me though I'm always like I just feel like confident right now I'm gonna post this or I feel cute and I'm gonna post it but I wonder what other people think like oh she's so full of she's so full of herself or she's so obsessed with herself or so into herself or she thinks she looks so hot or but then I'm like those people with those thoughts and having that kind of mindset it's always about they're projecting right it's like something inside of them is feeling insecure or they see something in me that that's within them that they haven't

been able to like express yet or heal yet so they could be where I'm at or do what I'm doing or whatever post what I'm posting so yeah just a funny thing um I I'm really I guess in tune with the fact that um being a pretty girl on Instagram or whatever is um can make you look like a quickly make you look like a fake bitch right so I'm like okay I've established this so many times on the show I'm like well if I'm gonna be a if I'm gonna post the selfies if I'm gonna be a little you know hooty tushy what what's so fucking hot toddy what uh if I'm gonna be if I'm gonna be a thought is that even a slang term anymore like a word people use thought if I'm gonna be a hoe if I'm gonna be a not even a hoe like what what am I saying um find me a slut if I'm gonna post a

pick my tits and ass which I don't really do um I kind of do I let me check in I mean as a sports bra how much different is a sports bra from a bikini and like you know little spandex pants like whatever I'm not gonna overanalyze this um I've I've constantly said that I'm like I'm gonna have my podcast where you can hang out with me for hours on end and get to know my personality because I, it felt so wrong. It just feels, I feel, I feel gross just having like selfies and like pictures and videos of myself and nothing else to go with that. So that's why I love podcasting. That's why I feel good about myself for, I don't know how to explain it. It just, it's a release. It's fun. It's entertainment for my, for you. And it's fun for me. It's just so

fun and um yeah I'm not gonna stop doing it so um but yeah it's sad like when I see a pretty Instagram girl or or like she maybe I don't know like just any like influencer who's just like post so much just I'm like they just look a lot of times my brain goes fake fake fake fake everything's fake fake fake but it's like if you met them they're probably really nice you know but it's funny how our brains do that but then do this is what I don't get I intuitively know that that's how I'm gonna be perceived so and I so I'm like I don't want to come across like a fake bitch so I'm gonna have my podcast I'm gonna talk things out and hang out and shoot the shit and be raw and real here so you can see that I'm not just a fucking collection of pixels on a grid

um but like do other people consider that when they post stuff or that they're just like fuck i'm just gonna be a hot hot chick on instagram or whatever i'm gonna shake my ass on tiktok and like they're just like fuck it like they don't care um i guess that's back to the whole like don't worry don't worry about what other people think about you and their opinion right um yeah anyways did that even did that even sum up or like connect um yeah just like that guy's video so um oh let's go on buzzfeed should i just end this with like a stupid quiz oh shit i was gonna do a list of things that are in and things that are out and i only have one idea so far

here's me shit on women again oh my god um jesus laminate laminated brows I've bitched about laminated brows for years now and I'm I'm still seeing them and I just I would love to see them go in 2023 so things that are out laminated brows things that are in um things that are in I don't know putting putting button-down shirts on backwards i don't fucking know i saw a stupid tiktok that was like trending things in 2023 button-down shirts put on backwards tied in the back um so the doja cat outfit she's covered in 30 000 crystals

that's what it's saying 14 people have failed hard this week um what kind of tabs do I have open here I could get into should I do a quiz I miss doing quizzes this is so like elementary school um for me to do this but um wait what am I doing like what's coming up I'm going skiing I'm gonna go to Mammoth in a bit um I don't want to say when because I don't want people to come off paranoid someone finding me um I'm yeah like what's new what's happening it's just like working golfing gym and repeating eating at beautiful restaurants

what did we eat oh my okay i went to fleming's and had a filet with cory was that our friday night date night and i just gotta gush about how much i love a steakhouse okay i i love sushi i love the mexican restaurant i love a pizza joint but there is something deluxe about walking into a steakhouse with white linen there's like usually a fireplace it's like you're going into a nice dining room right and getting a big ass piece of meat and like mashed potatoes and got like crab cakes and eating we ate like four loaves of bread with butter it was like champagne butter and a thyme butter and then uh yeah eating eating the filet mignon cooked medium medium perfectly cooked perfectly pink inside and then drinking

drinking a beautiful cab was it Dow I think we got Dow and then finishing it off with a creme brulee um yeah I mean I just I fucking love a steakhouse and I think yeah I went to Ruth Chris for my birthday and then he took me to Fleming's where else did we go we went got a steak gone to a few steak places or i've gone i just if i could eat one thing every single day for the rest of my life it'd be a filet mignon with like yeah like a perfectly seasoned salt and pep a little butter and uh a little mashed potato i don't even need the mashed potato i just it's just fuck i might should i do the carnivore diet like should i be eating more red meat i see a lot of

positive so here we go again with the Instagram and the social media tips of the day it's like there's so many memes and graphics going around about red meat and eating steak every day and steak for breakfast and steak for lunch and steak for dinner and steak steak steak get your girl to eat steak it's like I'm really I've been influenced to think that steak's the best thing for me right now and I'm like okay I literally I crave it I'm like I fuck get me a goddamn steak um I almost like and there is something said something to be said about feeling good after now I don't I don't think I I couldn't say that after that meal because at that point it's like with all the loaves of bread stuffed in you and the butter and the potatoes and the creme brulee

and then they gave us like truffles at the end after the creme brulee Corey gets a cappuccino and I uh I was finishing my glass of wine and they come over with a fucking chocolate truffle tray and I'm like are you kidding me see I didn't feel that great after I mean like I couldn't tell but if the steak was making me feel some type of way but like I don't know just it does it it tastes so maybe just because I like the taste it just how the fuck was I vegan for three years like how the fuck so yeah we went and we went to a steakhouse um I returned my cox wi-fi router to UPS um finally got that errand done um like what's hanging over my head right now what's what are my um what's on my list I really need to get my hair done like my hair's been looking like

shit lately like just kind of drab frizzy i think i'm gonna do um some sort of highlighting this year do like a dark brown with some dimension but i'm just gonna pull the trigger and make the appointment and i just haven't and like that's okay why am i telling you this let's do a buzzfeed quiz um i quote these 15 movies all the time can you finish their most iconic lines i went to costco what did i get it caught oh my god jocelyn stay on task um let's do a food quiz i like food quizzes and i'm kind of hungry for a snack right now i need a snack what did I eat today okay I ran 4.45 miles with a Celsius energy drink on board and then I came home had a black coffee until about 10 30 then I opened a can of albacore

tuna from Costco the Kirkland brand and I did a dollop of bitchin sauce it's like an almond based chipotle chipotle sauce they make here in Carlsbad California okay I dolloped some of that in I put a little sriracha a little everything but the bagel and I ate that for breakfast at like 10 30 a.m and then I had a protein bar a Costco protein bar later a few hours later so what am I gonna have next let's do a food quiz I'm hungry um your food will reveal your taste are you a foodie or are you a picky eater I'm not this is kind of stupid pick between sweet and savory foods and see which stranger things character you are no um i like these food quizzes sometimes they're really good

eat a three-course meal and reveal the first letter of your soulmate's name okay it's gonna be if it's not c then what the fuck you know um do you believe in soulmates oh my god tiktok's crazy like i watch a video about like soulmates and it's like love is a choice two people are there's no such thing as soulmates I'm like bitch I'm at my soulmate okay I'm like for sure about that I think when you meet your soulmate it's just like duh it's like like I don't think I could feel this way about someone else like is it when you're like I can't see any in my future if you're not in it like I'm not gonna make it is it that like

intense or like or like um yeah it's like crazy you're just like it's like you're it's like you found your sidekick for life I guess and it's just so fucking fun all the time and like your best friends is that like how you I don't know people have all kinds of definitions for love and soulmates and you know finding the love of your like whatever but I do think that it's a choice um every day you choose them and yeah so anyways why did I get on that um eat your way around the world and we'll and i'll guess your zodiac element okay i don't really give a fuck it's not going to be easy but we're forcing you to save just one dish per category okay i want to do this one let's talk about food okay

okay i like this save a pasta wait can i only pick one it's not gonna be easy but we're forcing you to save just one dish per category okay so we're in the we're in the pasta category um carbonara ravioli mac and cheese lasagna spaghetti meatballs or alfredo i can only have one i mean I'm kind of a lasagna bitch lately I'm gonna have to go with lasagna um ravioli if you want to buy something fucking incredible at Costco buy the spinach ravioli in the freezer section um I told a story about that once here on the show it's pretty funny it was um it's like the reason I went to my best friend's house growing up is to eat the fucking ravioli

um her mom would always buy it and yeah anyways okay save a chicken dish nuggets tenders chicken wings or a chicken sandwich I made chicken wings the other night did I tell you guys the story yet whatever I'll retell it I Corey got me this amazing air fryer for Christmas and it can do like 10 things in one it's more like an oven it's like an air fryer but like a dehydrator it's like I think it's like the best one you can fucking buy I swear it's like the coolest thing ever and I was like I want to make them chicken wings because like we'd go to this bar down the street and watch football or whatever and he'd always get these wings and I know he likes them

so I was like okay I'm gonna make him chicken wings and so I go to um I go to the store and I get a pack of chicken wings thinking like oh this is this is he's gonna love this right and I come home and honestly I wasn't really thinking like when I picked him up I just grabbed the pack and like threw it in the cart it wasn't really like it wasn't it wasn't very thoughtful okay and I bust out the big bowl I'm gonna add the lemon pepper and I'm gonna like season these bitches and I dump them in and he just gags on his just like look he looks at them and gags he's like what in the fuck and I had got I got the ones where it's like the actual wing is flapping or like you know the pointy part on a chicken on a raw chicken it's like the pointy tip

and it curves it's like yeah like literally the wing i got but it's attached to a bone a straight bone like when you get wings um i i don't really order them i've never really eaten them honestly until recently with cory at this at this bar um they're like straight and then there's drumsticks so they're like they're like um it's like a little uh flat straight how do I describe the the fucking you guys know what a getting wings looks like okay so I got the I got those but with the wing attached so he's like so grossed out he's like what the fuck are these and there's kind of like chicken feathers coming off a couple of them like I got like the fully jacked up GMO like injected you know fucking low quality ones at the store

because like I just I don't know I just grabbed the bulk pack I was like I'm making a lot of wings I'm just grabbing this whatever um I was at where was I at like Vons I didn't even look at the organic ones they had available they probably had like nice organic wings I didn't even whatever so yeah I'm like I like I was like are you I'm like so pissed I'm like I fucked that how did I fuck that up then I was thinking I'm gonna cut them off cut the the wing part off and then we ended up eating eating them how they were anyways but um how did I get here oh the quiz I need to fucking finish this episode swearing a lot I feel like am I saying that whatever um I can only save one I mean my go-to is a chicken tender

um dipped in ranch excuse me like if I'm at a restaurant it's like an American restaurant everyone's ordering burgers I tend to be the bitch who's ordering the chicken chicken tenders um I love chicken I think I gotta go chicken tenders I don't I don't like chicken sandwiches are like here nor there those don't those don't excite me chicken nugget chicken nuggets from McDonald's excite me but I'll have that maybe once every 10 years I'm gonna go I'm gonna go tenders okay um oh wait it shows you the percentage of the people that picked it so 13 percent of people pick lasagna okay 35 the majority pick chicken tenders okay save some seafood um oh my god scallops hands down there's shrimp salmon crab or scallops I could eat a salmon

so I could eat a filet mignon and a salmon caesar every single day for the rest of my life and be very happy but I could also eat scallops every day those are like my holy trinity meats scallops are my favorite i would put scallops and filet a filet next to each other but seafood scallops for seafood and then a filet for like meat or whatever um how many people only 11 percent of people pick scallops um save something fancy lobster sushi beef wellington or steak steak and fries um is this like are you is this a waste of your time right now i feel fucking boring okay um i gotta say sushi because come on 38 of people pick sushi save a cheesy item mac and cheese

mozzarella sticks nachos pasta cheeseburger loaded cheese fries hands down mac and cheese come on 16% chose mac and cheese burger or chicken sandwich burger save some fries curly animal style in and out fries regular fries steak fries waffle fries or crinkle cut okay I and I can only have one don't give a shit about the animal style fries had it once at in and out they were cold it wasn't a good experience I actually I don't hate I don't hate on In-N-Out I think it's good um I think I haven't or I have it infrequently enough where it's like it tastes good every time I get it you know like it's not if you have it all the time it's like I feel like it's not as good so I probably eat In-N-Out twice a year so but yeah

animal style fries are like whatever um steak fries it's like too much potato um crinkle cut like if you go to Shake Shack I had Shake Shack once I think yeah one time wasn't into the crinkle cut that reminds me of like cafeteria french fries um so I'm down to regular curly or waffle now I will drive through the Chick-fil-a uh drive through just for the waffle fries and the Chick-fil-a sauce and a diet coke again like chicken sandwiches are kind of like i don't care like i don't know what it is it's just like me it's okay um i do like the spicy ones from mcdonald's though fuck okay i do like a spicy chick what are they mcchickens i like the mcchickens okay cool so i do like waffle fries um curly fries from jack in the box is that where i've had them

curly fries are kind of good wait curly fries are kind of good like at the fair I don't know the last time I had a curly fry I always get regular fries right I gotta go I think just regular fries are are good enough they're it's when I say I want fries I want regular fries so yeah I'm gonna pick regular okay 32% of people picked regular next was curly and then waffle um which flavor from the Neapolitan trio are you saving strawberry chocolate or vanilla oh my god we used to get I don't know do you guys remember growing up when you went to the ice cream section of the grocery store and all of the ice cream was in a box like a little rectangular box yeah like they don't package it like that anymore and

so there's also the, they, I think they still make these, the buckets where there's like a bucket of ice cream and we would always get like the Neapolitan one or the Sherbert and there's like the chocolate. Oh, why do I want that? It's like nostalgic right now. Holy shit. Um, let me drink some water. I'm starting to film with the mouth over this. Okay. Which flavor from the Neapolitan trio trio trio are you saving I kind of want to say strawberry but I don't like when there's strawberry pieces in strawberry ice cream vanilla like the chocolate in those buckets isn't very good it tastes kind of like chemical chocolate you know the strawberry is usually the best part it all goes together when you're scooping a Neapolitan uh ice cream you're you're

scooping all three flavors like that's the point I gotta go my heart wants it to be chocolate because like duh but like the strawberry is the best flavor in that wow 19% of people so the most was chocolate and then vanilla then strawberry save a cookie chocolate chip ice sugar jam filled this is easy chocolate chip okay duh and finally thank god then we can end this episode finally save something random ice cream brownies cheesecake or cake s'mores or cupcakes um what is this gonna guess like something about my personality this quiz I gotta go ice cream um okay wait it didn't give me a result like a fun like oh do this quiz and we're gonna tell you about

it's not gonna be easy but we're forcing you to save some oh this is just like a poll for people on the internet to do. So like how many thousands of people are doing this? Oh my God. That was how I literally just wasted the last 30 minutes of your life. Um, I mean, that's being dramatic. I don't think it was that long, but, um, yeah, I used to, I used to do those buzzfeed quizzes and like, I don't know. This is like something weird to say, but I feel like I used to be so like okay not that I'm not now but like I think when I was starting out I used to do the most like immature dorky things and I don't know if it's because I'm getting a little older now it's only been a couple years but I kind of feel it's hard for me not to post okay I okay

i actually was talking to cory about this i feel like i've gotten boring or more um like the entertainment i used to bring was so like crackhead energy on my old episodes and like so just like all over the place and obnoxious and I was always like on one right and not that I'm not like that now sometimes but if I feel really I feel like it's really toned down and I guess that's growth right or that's maturity or my okay I I want to talk about this I do want to talk about this. I wonder, or I have a hunch, Jesus. I, I started working. Okay. So before the pandemic, I was like, it was 2020. I was like working in coffee shops and restaurants. And I was kind of like making it, like figuring it out. I was in a transition year. Wasn't really

like working a normal job. Like I had before, before that I was in content. I was a content creator, like executive assistant at a startup company. And then before that I was working at my university for the international department. And then, uh, fast forward after the pandemic, I got into my career here that I'm, it's now what my third year in PR and I've been working in PR and I don't know what it is like ever since I in the last couple years working a more corporate style job and I work from home right I feel like I'm I've gotten like for like boring or like less I don't know like my content like I just I almost like want to be more reserved because I have a corporate job or something like that. It's like, it's like, that sounds dumb. I think it's just me

getting a little older and more like polished, I guess. But when it comes to being a daily poster of a daily, geez, oh my God. When it comes to posting selfie videos on my Instagram story of me being dorky and doing some stupid shit or like you know talking to the camera on a regular basis like I don't really do that as much anymore and when I used to show up on snapchat stories and instagram stories all the time and I always it was always a very comedic like jackass thing like that was my brand my personal brand was like I'm just a it's like kind of yeah like I was just being a jackass all the time and being trying to be I was like entertaining people being funny right but yeah that's kind of died and now it's like

okay I'm posting my dogs night 24 7 and I'm posting my golf and now I've made some TikToks recently and stuff I don't know how to explain it it's just like kind of cringy to me more now to like, I don't know. Just fully like let it all hang out because I don't know. I do it here on my podcast. It's good. I mean, that's like where it's at, but what am I saying? I think if you're going to be a podcast host, I'm talking, I'm talking this out with myself right now. It's like, I got to do it all. I got to do the podcast. I got to do the TikToks. I got to do the Instagram. gotta do the Instagram stories gotta be put my personal brand out there so people can find me right and like be uh yeah and I love doing that that's what I'm trying where I'm where I'm trying

to get is I when I used to do that I felt it was fun as fuck I it was funny it was entertaining it was a great time right and I remember I used to do like live streams and I think the longest live streaming I did like a four or five hour Instagram live stream um there's like literally six people watching I don't even know but um it's when I that's when I feel so like on and like on point and like like I don't know how to explain it I'm like fully expressed I'm expressing myself to the fullest it's a creative release it's all those all those things so when I don't do it and then I start doing it again I'm like I it's it's like I've lost touch with my identity on social media and like how i don't know how to fucking explain is that dumb

we're all trying to like curate an image for ourselves and we all like think about it and it's like just who gives a fuck if you don't do that for two years then you start doing it again like i don't think people are gonna be mad that you posted a tiktok of yourself doing your hair or your makeup or whatever like it's always an existential crisis at the end about being a content creator and trying to figure it out this is what I know um podcasting is a shit I'm never gonna stop doing this and however I show up on TikTok or Instagram stories or fucking whatever it is what it is I'll go in phases I think I'm in a phase where I'm like I kind of want to make tiktoks so i'm doing that and yeah so what's up what's new that's it uh

jesus i'm gonna i'm gonna wrap this this is a fun episode i don't really um i can't believe i thought that first video might have been real with a girl faking the murder of her brother like um i just remember the first time it came up on my for you page I was like no fucking way this can't be real like this she just was so it just seems so real like her and like her expression everything um yeah so what else do we talk about I don't know um I feel like I'm missing missing things on the news like let me just go to cnn.com real quick like what's like a big ass headline okay we know about the but um the shooting in Los Angeles okay um massive red formation wait what's this massive

red formation in the sky stuns onlookers I like stuff like this wait yeah isn't there like some ufo whoa ufo shaped clouds in turkey pandemic jobless benefits fraud likely up to 60 billion wait pandemic jobless benefits that fraud jobless benefits what's this more than 60 billion dollars may have been paid out in fraudulent unemployment insurance benefits during the covid19 pandemic according to a report released monday by the u.s government accountability office oh my god at least 4.3 billion dollars in jobless benefits fraud has been formally determined by state

unemployment agencies with at least 45 billion dollars in payments have been flagged for potential fraud but oh my god we owe it to americans to identify how hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars spent under the guise of pandemic relief were lost due lost to waste fraud abuse and mismanagement um a key component of the relief effort was a federal weekly supplement for out-of-work americans the jobless received a six hundred dollars a week boost from april through july 2020 congress then revived the enhancement late december yeah that was a nutso thing nutso time the unemployment people are getting okay I need to I'm like how the how that I'm like how did I get on cnn.com what's like another

okay I think that's it I'm just like I was gonna go to another news site um okay so what's going on for the rest of the night I'm gonna eat first uh post this podcast and cook a beautiful um dinner probably gonna air fry some brussels sprouts cook some salmon and have some sweet potatoes on the side or we'll do like mushrooms so that's how my night's gonna go and then i'm gonna um finish the pharmacist I've been watching the pharmacist on Netflix and yeah do it all again tomorrow wake up work out tomorrow's leg day um I don't really have a schedule I don't really have a program or a plan maybe I should start doing that like I randomly

decided to run 4.4 like saying exactly how many miles I was so proud of myself 4.45 miles like that that was a spontaneous decision but I don't know I feel like for the most part I'm doing legs like right now like I've done it like five days a week on average I'd say that's like way too much I do glute it's not legs it's glutes I don't I don't do quads if thing is is I why am I why am I not ending the episode like I'm all about getting the ass fat and not the legs bigger so because I'm already naturally born I I'm naturally stacked in my quads and my hammies like I just have I'm built like that but um yeah I don't I don't do like you'll never see me put a barbell on my back and squat like with like heavy weight because I'm it blows my quads up

or like I never I'll never do a hamstring curl or like I literally there's certain exercises I just don't even do it's all like glute focused I even stopped doing full hip thrusts where I'm hip thrusting ass to the ground all the way up like I only do I don't know what the abbreviation is they're called KAS hip thrusts where you're just it's almost like you're go down a few inches and come up it's just pulsing the glutes because when I go heavy like I was I was going I was like doing repping like 400 or whatever and I was doing like you know six of those and it's like I'm I'm probably using a lot of quad and hammy to heave that up and that's heavy and then it's like why are my fucking legs so jacked right now it's like I didn't want that I'm trying to have that

Kim K ass with a small tiny uh deer legs like she had no I'm kidding like did she get her ass implants removed or like what's going on with oh my god what first of all what's going on with Chloe I think her it's like she's trying to look as like emaciated as possible for her body like she used to be like a linebacker right like big Chloe was like a big girl like just tall broad bigger you know her bone sugar everything's like bigger on chloe right then she got her ass implants clearly and then why am i talking about another woman's body on my show and judging and commenting like she already gets enough fucking hate and shit and scrutiny and all that and no wonder she's trying to fucking evaporate and be as small as possible

because of the goddamn internet and people like me doing what i'm doing right now so like and i didn't even end my episode this is like actually toxic and actually a problem personally i have a I am personally calling myself out right now I don't know how to end an episode without blabbing on for another 40 minutes and I have no business talking about Khloe Kardashian like I am right now that's just like but it's just everything is just so sucked in and right and tight to the point where i'm like you look like kendall what the fuck that's kendall's naturally like that you're not i'm like how did that happen it was a i guess what i'm saying is her transformation is shocking i think she's beautiful i think she looks i actually think she looks great um but

i don't know it's just probably really hard being her sometimes um getting all the the hate the body hate face hate the that's not your dad your dad's actually the who do people think Chloe's dad is that's another thing yeah I don't know okay um I need to go thank you for being here if you've made it this far I love you I hope you're having a great year so far I hope you're happy I hope you're healthy I hope you're filled with love and joy is you know to the brim I want that for you if you don't have it yet it's coming um it's on its way your best days are not you haven't had your best days yet um or maybe you have fuck I don't know how to I mean shit sometimes it gets worse for people

um I'm so like can I just not it gets better okay in conclusion to summarize my essay you're doing great honey you're doing great and it gets better and your best days are ahead of you and you matter you're important you're you know here's my challenge for you and I was having a conversation with someone who was talking about this and they're like yeah it's weird like I feel like I can't be 100% myself with everyone like I'm I'm more reserved I'm like my challenge for you is to go let your freak flag fly be yourself a hundred percent um just full send your personality in 2023 and stop giving a fuck and stop being so in your head like easier said

than done but i think exposure therapy and just getting the reps in and doing it and pushing yourself and just like i don't know how you get over that but um people don't care as much as you think they do or like at all um it's just you and the driver's seat of your life it's all on you it's your fault everything's up to you to make happen and so if you feel like a little clammed up shy little king or queen out there i never say king or queen um that was weird uh just why you know you know what i'm gonna play this tiktok to end the episode because this is my motivation for you right now or this is my motivational speech that someone else gave to hype you up especially maybe you want to make a pot maybe you're like i'd love i want to i want

to put i want to make a podcast i want to post content on tiktok i want to have a youtube channel this year i have all these content creator goals like this video is for you okay um here you go take it from somebody that posts a lot of content that some people consider cringe worthy your fear of criticism is more than likely what's holding you back. Now, if you want to keep what you do as a hobby, you want it to be a personal cathartic thing, that's fine. But if you want to make something happen out here in the real world, you need to find the courage within you to hit upload to publish your work. Otherwise, ain't a damn thing coming from your efforts. And those are the stone cold facts. If you want to really make something out here, you have to get this through

your head the only way to avoid criticism is by doing nothing and that never sat right with me that guy's um like shot him out at cane kerner on tiktok there you go uh that's how i'm ending the episode i hope that fired you up as much as it fires me up just push push uh or press upload just fucking publish your work um yeah the only way to avoid criticism is by doing nothing by saying nothing by being nothing like no matter what you do someone's gonna probably have a problem with it so just fuck them who cares do it anyways that's a that's the approach i've taken on this episode on this podcast okay thank you love you thanks for being here please hit that subscribe button wherever you're watching or whatever i'm not videoing it today wherever

you're listening right now and head over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show i've entertained you this long uh as a way to tip me if you'd like to uh you can tip me five dollars a month at patreon.com slash tjms again go check it out and it's just like a way to support me in my podcast career okay um and then if you want to follow me on TikTok at Jacqueline Rowe, Instagram at Jacqueline Rowe. And that's it. Love you. Thanks for being here. And I'll talk to you next week. Bye. And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back

I don't fucking take smoke, I'ma poke a hole through you, choking's overdue Come at me and you won't get any older, dude, crack your hold or two Heating up inside of me, blood so violently, thanks for trying me Now it's finally time to see how this rivalry becomes my dynasty I know there's no turning back Oh God, adrenaline wasted So mad I can taste it I know there's no turning back

I'll do what it takes, I ain't making mistakes like that