The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 358- Matt Rife, Leave The World Behind, Exposing Myself, Golf, and MORE!!

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

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What's up, guys? It's episode 358. Welcome back to the show. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. welcome back to the show and happy Merry Christmas happy Hanukkah happy holidays happy whatever you celebrate does anyone remember or if you're currently working in retail how much you were reprimanded for saying Merry Christmas during this time of year like I remember when I worked at Tommy Hilfiger I worked at Tommy Hilfiger coach Juicy Couture what else yeah and that was like part of the training or like during the holiday season was like okay make sure make sure to say happy holidays because not everyone celebrates Christmas and um please hit that

subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on apple spotify google podcast hit your breaker overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button I'm here once a week um I gotta record this right now for Instagram we're uh we're doing a promo video we're gonna repeat that so enjoy this repeated intro actually I'm not going to I'm just gonna say my I'm gonna you know I'm gonna tell my origin story I'm gonna tell my origin story before I tell my origin story I want to tell you what I've got for you on the podcast today okay we've got drama we've got news we've got Matt Rife we've got Netflix we've got a viral product I purchased and immediately returned because it sucked and a story about how I bought

something in that same category that's 10 times more expensive um that's arriving tomorrow that I will get into in a second um and I'm gonna go off on viral TikTok shop products and how they suck and how um I'm like absolutely burnt out and disgusted and over the consumer culture we live in fucking TikTok shop like every time I go on TikTok now it's like the little thing on the bottom is like TikTok shop it's like so gross and I'm so over it and I was influenced to buy something that sucks from TikTok shop and here I'm talking about TikTok shop giving them like I just hate that whenever someone's like I was on TikTok shop I'm like shut up um what else do I have I'm gonna expose myself we're gonna talk about my screen time this week some

weird google searches I've made um golf Taylor Swift yeah uh let's get into it so like I said I'm gonna tell my origin story for Instagram right now because I'm assuming that most of you watching this right now hi if you're listening I'm over on my phone doing a selfie video I'm assuming that most of you um I'm getting myself all cute now because I'm like okay now I'm gonna to tell my story I'm assuming that if you're watching this on Instagram like you follow me you're like I know she has a podcast but I haven't really listened to it before I don't know much about how she got started in podcasting and I'm curious so this is my origin story hi I'm Jacqueline I'm a podcast host I've been podcasting for three years and this is how it happened okay I never set

out to be a podcast host that wasn't my plan um but I was 26 it was 2020 I'm 26 years old I had hit my rock bottom okay pandemic hit I'm down and out I'm depressed I gained 35 pounds I'm like on my couch watching Netflix all day like not going outside this was from like May to September okay on September 4th 2020 I sat down on my couch in my little apartment it was a very cute apartment I do kind of miss my apartment anyways I sat down on my couch in my little apartment and I put on the uh I put on YouTube and I put on the last episode Joe Rogan recorded in his old studio before he moved to Austin this happened to be a five-hour podcast with Duncan Trussell okay I was committed I'm on my couch it's like 9 p.m I was like I'm

staying up all night i pop some popcorn okay and within 10 minutes i'm already on my phone like watching it on the tv like passively watching on the tv and then being on my phone like scrolling instagram and i got a dm from someone that i should start a podcast because they responded to my story about something i had written and they're like you should do a podcast on this without hesitation i went into my bedroom grabbed my little old apple headphones with a little microphone the corded ones I grabbed that I plugged it into my phone I downloaded an audio recording app and told my entire 2020 story start to finish from like month by month by month and immediately all the stars aligned I got the bug and I decided to podcast seven days a week

for a year okay I made it 300 days and now it's a weekly podcast but that's the gist like it was literally a DM I got from someone shout out Kane I don't think you follow me anymore but I'm gonna tag you um you sent me the DM the DM and now 358 podcasts later I'm still doing it and this is my passion this is my dream this is my retirement plan like it's so natural to me I feel like I'm flying and the number one takeaway or the number one thing that this podcast has done for me is this too long for Instagram I'm okay gotta keep I wanted to make this like a one minute reel but like this is gonna be like a 10 minute Instagram video like whatever um podcasting completely healed me because I was listening to my soul speak every single day I was is this

redundant for the people like I'm like okay I got you you're new you're learning about my story over here on Instagram and I've got my OG listeners on my audio here like over they're rehearing this story for the 50th time but this is important because I gotta share my story and tell my audience here on Instagram they need to know too um by the way subscribe my podcast go to my bio or whatever and like it's the Spotify link go follow my podcast um I was listening to my soul speak for seven days a week okay I was and what I mean by soul speak is you've got all this stuff in your head right and people recommend journaling meditation like getting your thoughts on paper talking to a therapist talking to a friend I was literally talking to myself out loud and that gave

me it what did it do it like built this super strong bond with myself and this love for myself that was like so like deep because when you hear your thoughts come out and you're just sitting with yourself like that is so healing and so that's what happened and I went from being down and out like I started this story in the beginning saying you know I'm down and out I'm on my couch I'm I have nothing going on I was on unemployment I was I had no job at the time like I was just I was like a lost little puppy in this pandemic world like I don't know what to do right so this completely 180'd my life and everything just improved since then and um I can't recommend talking out loud to yourself enough like literally it is the shit like people think it's like

and and people are like my favorite like I don't know where this story is going now but we're just gonna keep going um and then I gotta get back to my podcast we're gonna talk about all those topics I mentioned in the beginning people are always like I don't get how you podcast and talk to yourself for an hour sometimes this is two hours like they're like I don't get it and um this is easiest shit I've ever done like literally like this is it's like the thrill there's so much I get all this adrenaline and excitement about coming up with shit on the fly and like keeping people's attention and like at any one time I like 10 tangents in my head and I go from like one to the other back to this one back it's like this fun game this entire time and um it's hard for me

to shut up a lot of times I end my podcast and I'm like I I don't want to stop like um it's literally like this is how you know you found your passion this is my advice like it's got to feel like that it's got to feel like what did I say like I'm flying like I'm so giddy I'm so happy I love it like and I know a lot of people out there starting podcasts too and I'll just be raw right now people are doing podcasting now because it's super lucrative and they can make all this money and it's like you know big money grab now and they can which is great we all gotta live we all have to make our money I haven't made shit from this podcast it's a little secret to the audience right now to you literally like people meet me and they're like what the fuck I thought this was

your full-time gig I'm a full-time nine-to-five chick work from home chick on the on the side okay that's my that that keeps the lights on this is the passion right that's insane so um going into 2024 we're gonna switch some things up okay we're gonna like get things and kick things into high gear okay because I'm turning 30 and uh like I want to just really want to prove to myself that I can build this into a business because at this point it's like what the fuck are you doing you have almost 400 podcast episodes and you haven't made a dime from it like what are you doing uh by the way if you want to put a little tip in my tip jar patreon.com slash tjms it's five dollars a month if you enjoyed this if you're still here if uh you know you want to support

me and my podcast retirement plan career journey whatever um patreon.com slash tjms it stands for the Jacqueline Rowe show um sorry if you're on the audio right now this is a long thing we're gonna get to the main podcast but this is this is important that I post this on Instagram for people that don't know me like this okay I feel like they just see that I have a podcast but they've they don't know they don't know the backstory so um what else uh what's my why why do I want to do this why do I why do I want a podcast and what's the whole point um yo we're all the same okay we all have the same problems we all go through the same shit I literally think like it's so crazy especially when I see like uber famous people on like regular bitches podcasts

I'm like what the fuck like they're talking about like real life stuff it's like we're all the same we're all going through it I want to be a sense of comfort and companionship for you a best friend online someone who's just you know sharing their life and making you feel like you're not alone I mean all the cliches like literally because I know what it's like because I used to listen to podcasts around the clock and I still do I'm a huge fan of podcasters and podcasting in general but like I know what it's like to be like a little down and out depressed taking a walk and listening you a podcast and feeling a sense of comfort and peace so that's what I that's my why like I want to give that to you and I also want to teach people how to live a kick-ass life and how to

like be the shit for real like be the shit and like think you're the shit because and not in like an arrogant like narcissistic cocky way but in like a real way because is this too long for Instagram can Instagram do 20 minute videos okay this podcast if you're on the audio like I keep going back to this this is taking a weird uh this is a just skip ahead if you if you've heard this like skip ahead okay um I lost my train of thought this happens all the time we'll get back to it um oh living a kick-ass life and being the shit so I want to see more people with their shit together on the internet I'm pro that I'm anti like all these people talking about all their problems all day long because I and I want to be a source of the opposite of that I want to be like

hey I was on this journey I didn't have my shit together but now I do and here's how you can have your shit together too okay I don't sit and talk about my mental health all day and how I'm down and out and how like I it's not about that it's about here's all the things I learned and here's how I'm living now because I've gone on this journey and now I'm on the other side if you're on a journey your whole life and you're always down and out and trying to figure it out like listen to my podcast okay I'm gonna help you get to the other side okay because I'm on the other side now and literally it's like I it's a mind fuck how good my life is and I'm not being like that might sound insane because like who says that but literally I don't have my the same

struggles mentally physically that I used to so because I literally talked it out on my podcast honestly and I figured it all out and I've applied all these lessons I've learned um and I've had all these epiphanies live on the podcast before which are crazy like when that happens it's like oh my god and I talk about them all the time so um yeah that's the story that's my origin story that's how I started podcasting again if you want to hang out with me once a week go on my uh bio to my Spotify link you can also listen on Apple Spotify I just said that all the places you listen to podcast you can go subscribe there love you uh thanks for listening to my story and I will talk to you on this podcast go listen to this episode 350 I'm gonna get back back to it right now okay

that was a little weird I'm still here um I really wanted to do that though so if you're still here or I'm sure you skipped ahead like that was important I did that because for the longest time I feel like I've been throwing out podcasts throwing throwing out clips and like the dots just probably they probably don't connect for anyone that comes across my podcast for the first time on on like Instagram or TikTok or whatever because unless you're like an actual listener like you probably know nothing so or you like you don't know like why I'm here and what my story is so I really wanted to get that out and um it's kind of like I killed two birds with one stone I could have just recorded that separately and then posted it

but I did it during the podcast which is fun for you if you're all if you're new right now because you got to hear that for the first time but probably not super fun if you already heard that okay um because I've talked about it I feel like I reshare my origin story like every three months okay so um Taylor Swift I had a thought about Taylor Swift okay she needs a happily ever after okay she needs the she she needs a fairy tale I want it so bad for her I want her and Travis to get married to go the distance to have a beautiful little family and to live happily ever after like I like because people are being haters you know they're like oh like you know they always like to talk shit this relationship won't last blah blah blah I'm not like a super fan of Taylor

Swift I'm like I'm kind of neutral like I think she's great I think she's such a she's like the most talented songwriter of our generation you know she's a mogul she's everything like she's I put her above Beyonce to be honest like Beyonce's here nor there to me because I don't know I just don't like how she's like an ice queen and she just seems like she's not like Taylor Swift is like girl next door down to earth super normal super cool super real like she's close with her fans like I don't know I love everything about that side of her so um anyways she needs the fairy tale she needs a happily ever after I want to see this happen I'm I want to put this out there like I they're gonna get married Taylor Travis is gonna propose to her and people are

like predicting like February um no but like literally I'm like what a perfect ending to her story you know she starts out when she's like what 16 writing her little our song is you know that and then it's like album after album after album tour after tour after tour and she's talking about you know her love stories and her breakups and all this shit and it's like for her to have a perfect happily ever after right into the sunset with like a hot NFL player and like have a cute ass family with him like yes that is like the American dream and I and I really um because he's a I think it's a whole like he's a football player thing you know it's not like he's an actor right or a singer like yeah he's a podcast host I was listening to his or I was

watching a clip from what's it called it's called like something hype I don't know no the long what is their podcast called with his brother anyways I was watching a clip of him talking about that lateral pass he threw in the last game and how um he was like breaking down like how he saw the defenders coming and like the open spots and how I don't know he's like getting all technical with it and anyways it was it was cool um yeah so there's your Taylor Swift segment um let's get into the the viral curling iron okay don't buy it it's a piece of shit okay I think there's this Amika one I think it's the original thermal brush from Amika I bet I'm assuming that's the best version of it or the best brand to buy if you don't know what if you don't know what i'm talking

about for the last i don't know like two months two three months i've been seeing non-stop sponsored like tiktok shop i hate tiktok shop is so i'm over i'm like it's just so popcorny what is the word like gimmicky like i feel like i'm at the fucking carnival like that is tiktok shop makes me feel like i'm walking around a carnival putting in like trying to get tickets to buy shit at the little you know little kiosk where you can give them tickets and they give you a toy or something like it's just it's so gimmicky i don't know there's just something about it anyways i've been seeing this thermal brush okay you got the every age group you got 12 year olds you got your 20 year olds you got your 35 year olds you got your 45 like literally

all these women are coming on with their long hair they're curling their hair on this thermal brush and they're like holy shit this is like you went to the salon you got to blow out okay I got influenced okay I saw one too many ads and I was influenced to buy the K&K thermal brush from Amazon okay I didn't buy it from TikTok shop I think I think I made it sound like I did but I didn't um I'm a little weary about putting my credit card information on TikTok I don't know is that how you do it do you just buy it all through the app it's like a little weird so i got the knk thermal brush for 56 okay um it's a piece of shit it's an absolute piece of shit it doesn't get hot enough you can't change the heat settings it like rips your hair so like

the whole idea is it doesn't make noise people are like um they're they're hyping it up because they're like oh my god like usually if you use like the revlon blow dryer one the the one everyone has I have it um I'm throwing it away tomorrow and I'll tell you why we're gonna get to an exciting purchase in about two minutes um people are like oh it doesn't make any noise it makes a perfect like blowout look I think if you had short hair okay it would probably work but I have long thick fine hair and it's trash like I let me de-influence you right now like if you have long hair if you if you don't want to spend like I thought it was going to be a quick like oh I'm going to just put some curls in my hair and like go no it's it takes a long ass time so um like does anyone wear hot

rollers anymore are hot rollers around like I remember I remember growing up like getting ready for school and I'd put little hot rollers in my hair uh and they worked so well maybe I'll get hot well I won't now because you'll hear about my exciting purchase um I think you might know where I'm going we're in we're in the hair tool segment right now so let me just like tell you well, I already kind of told you the categories of this podcast. I'm just going down the list. Okay. I had to tell my origin story. That was important for me. Okay. I'm going into the new year. I want to acquire, you know, fresh listeners from Instagram and now they have my story on a little selfie video. I think that's a cute way to do it. Um, cool. I'm wearing a red sweater

for Christmas. So curling, uh, yeah, the curling tool sucks. So, um, I'm returning it. And what did I buy? What did she buy? All right. Get on the edge of your seats or maybe stand up or brace yourself or I don't know why they make this so dramatic. I got the Dyson Airwrap. Okay. I got the blue blush limited edition holiday limited edition Dyson Airwrap. Okay. When you girl math this biatch because it's $600 I got it on sale for $4.99 when you girl math this it's free it's basically a dollar a day okay think about how many times you whip out your hair tools okay it's a daily occurrence why haven't I bought why did I not buy this when it first came out like I think the price tag for a hair tool is a little steep like I don't think it's worth I think it's I know

there's like the shark one that everyone loves that it's like the similar it's a similar like air drying heat stuff i don't know like curling hair tool it's from shark shark also makes vacuums i believe they also made a hair a dupe for the dyson air wrap oh my god this is a tongue twister so because so back to the girl math and the dollar a day like i'm gonna use this every day of my life like it's worth the money because i'm using it every day and i think i i talked about this on my christmas gift episode a couple weeks back i talked about how when you're buying gifts whether this is for other people or yourself or just not even gifts just things for yourself in general or other people let me include other people um think about the

categories that you use every single day of the week like toothbrush hairbrush loofah body wash pillows like things around your house like you use them every day let's get into curling irons hair dryers every day buy the best thing in that category if you can invest in the best thing with the best quality with the best result with the best like i got a sonic hair toothbrush okay I was using a manual toothbrush for like three years okay three years I'm 29 years oh I don't like saying that fuck me I'm 20 I can't wait for my 30th birthday episode that's gonna be insane I don't know what I'm gonna do uh for my 30th birthday I'm gonna manifest this right now I want to be on Joe Rogan's podcast that's how I want to kick off my 30s send someone that's

listening right now please send this if you know Joe Rogan like send this to him um so yeah buy the best thing in that category what am I saying so for me it's a Dyson Airwrap right it's like the Rolls Royce of hair tools buy it like I just do it I'm I know like I haven't even used it yet but I just know it's gonna like literally change my life so um yeah back to the gift guide gift giving tip like think of all the categories even like um like shoes is kind of different um thinking of like I'm thinking of like the self-care type things like um yeah just try to find like the best quality in that category skims like if you want good quality underwear underwear oh my god that was like the number one thing my mom taught me as a young person I don't know when

I was like 12 or what she's like never buy shitty underwear always buy the best underwear you wear them every single day underwear and bras don't be cheap about it um cool so uh Merry Christmas to me it's funny because I wasn't planning on buying this like I literally was so fed up with this goddamn thermal brush that TikTok influenced me to buy I'm gonna delete TikTok in 2024 like I'm just I'm just my the internet is rotting my brain it's rotting it it's rotting yours too like I'm sure you're probably addicted to your phone like I am I'm gonna expose myself on my screen time at the end of this episode so stick around if you want to hear how many hours I'm on my phone every day um it's definitely rotting my brain but um yeah the I got I was so burnt out of or so

over this thermal brush I I was trying to make it work because I'm like everyone raves about it it's cheap like people make it seem like it's the greatest thing ever and I'm like f this so um literally this is a story about the Dyson so like literally yesterday I'm like let me take a gander over on Dyson.com let me go see what's uh what's on sale over there in the Dyson air wrap category and little did I know they had a hundred dollars off their blue blush air wrap and i just started obsessing okay then i went back to tiktok like literally it's like i look for tutorials on tiktok of this thing unboxing videos once this happens i'm fucked okay this happened with my wedding dress too like once i get something on my brain

like a product i want or like a thing i can't if i if if i start obsessing about it like looking it up, dreaming about it. Like I need to get it. Like, that's how, you know, you need something. It's like, it's not, it's like $500. It's like, that's a lot for curling iron, but like, it's a Christmas. It's so the story I want to tell is like literally yesterday, I didn't plan on buying this. I haven't talked about it ever with like Corey. I, we, it was like, I knew about it for like years right it's been around but i didn't is this too long of a segment on the dyson air wrap ipod whatever um if you want to look hot this is a tip hair tan nails that's it i talked about this before you don't have to have like super glam makeup on but like if your hair

looks like you went to the salon and got it blown out okay your nails are nice and done they don't have to be fake you don't have fake nails just nice nails nice hair and a little glow to your skin it's the winter season you don't need to have a dark fake tan on okay tan tan nails hair the trifecta of being hot get it figure it out okay i have had shitty hair and i'll admit it my hair sucks okay i've been getting it colored i've been getting it cut recently so it's starting to look nicer but i don't put any time and effort into making it look styled and nice and with like a good bounce and shape and volume because my hair tools suck okay fuck the Revlon fuck that it's like frying my hair all the little bristles are like cracked and crumbled and like broken I

like can't wait to throw it away like figure it out okay make the investments in those three categories okay uh protect your skin from the sun obviously but like get a little glow action going with little like Juergens seven uh gradual tanner seven do you remember that shit when that came out I was buying that around the clock in high school this the gradual Juergens natural glow anyways yesterday Corey calls me at lunch because he always calls he always calls me at lunch hold on I'm getting parched he always calls me at lunch it's one of my favorite things about him get a man get you a man that checks in with you all day long but not in like a obsessive way in like uh we're just always in communication and we always want to like talk to each other and hear

from each other and it's like a good good feeling like I don't know and we always FaceTime like I think that's a big red like not a red flag necessarily but like off the bat it was like FaceTime calls all like only from Corey and I just think there's something about that um they're just so much better anyways um I put it in his ear I said honey I can't stop thinking about the Dyson Airwrap I can't stop thinking about the Dyson Airwrap and he goes well how much is it and I said they're doing a sale it's $4.99 he goes he's like get it you'll you know you'll use it all the time like you know you'll um love it and you know you're like he was just like saying all the you know the things you should say and um that he was clearly on the website

okay then he starts asking me he's at work right he's like he's like now do you like the this is where like the tone started shifting he goes well do you like the blue one or the red one or they have this gray one here with like orange on it he's like what color do you like best so he's all right he's on the website and that's when i started getting excited i'm like he's gonna put this in his cart and buy it for me right here right here now okay that's how full of shit I am no I'm kidding um so I started noticing wait he wants to buy this for me or like I think he thinks I'm calling him because I want him to get it for me for Christmas right and it's like as he should because I'm sure if you're listening you're like yeah he should get you that um he's gotten me a

lot of nice things okay like I don't expect this I never expect anything that's another number one relationship advice or tip if you're a girl out there and you think you're hot shit and you a man should just fully 100% bend over backwards and take care of you and where you don't have to lift a finger like like you're full of shit wait what am I saying the tip is don't be so entitled and expect things just be gracious and if they want to do it for you allow them to don't push back like let them do it because they want to it makes them feel like you know that that's how men show their love a lot of a lot of the times it's by providing gifting taking care of you with nice things and just be gracious and don't don't expect it like I don't know I'm always just

dumbfounded like I'm always like what like you want to get this from your like yeah it's always a nice gesture and I'm always just like holy shit like I can't sometimes I'm like this is so nice and like I don't know like I know I deserve it but like it's sometimes hard to receive like I'm kind of one of those people it's like I'm I'm like good at receiving gifts and stuff but like not at the same time because I'm like I don't know I didn't grow up with like super nice things all the time and like experiences and dinners and like now that I have it it's like whoa you know um but anyways he goes what color do you like and then I knew where this is going and I'm like okay and he's like well do you want me to get it for you and I was like no no no no

like um long story short I bought it for myself I did I bought it for myself and um I did it this morning in the sauna like at the gym like I was just like okay I gotta get this done um and it's literally getting shipped it's like coming tomorrow that's how fast it ships or whatever um but it's funny how this morning we were talking about it in the car on the way to the gym and he's like i know why you called me yesterday you wanted me to buy it for you i know this game i'm not new to this game blah blah blah just funny how like i told him i'm like i just needed your input as like a friend like i just need to know like some advice or like what you think about this purchase like i wanted to run it by you first before i did it anyways like it's funny how um

i don't know uh i've golfed last weekend i made my first birdie shout out point loma or the loma club that's where i golfed i chipped one right next to the hole literally within two feet and i was like okay okay this is i get it this is why people golf and this is why people this is why people are obsessed with golf when you hit those shots you're like it it's like it puts chills down my spine like my technique isn't super sound yet like as far as my like chipping goes and even my full swing like it's a little wonky it needs work I'm still working on it you know I'm going into year two of golf and my latest kick or the latest goal I have for myself is to go play golf instead of

just hitting balls of the range so um yeah i had a few good shots i had my first birdie so i'm golfing and we're probably going to golf again this weekend um now we're going to talk about netflix so what have i been watching on netflix do you ask how are you doing by the way let me do a little check-in get a little do a little pulse check on the audience here um i'm getting notifications off the chain right now hold on oh god I cannot repeat what Corey texted me just get you a man that sends you texts that make you want to throw your or like bury your phone especially if you're in public because you're like oh my god if someone read that they would be like okay oh oh like you know get like those kind of texts so um

it's like I'm smiling so big because he sent me something oh my god I just I'm just such a giddy little school girl um that's how you should be in your relationship like if you're not if you're like sad all the time and angry and like pissed off like okay I was getting my laser hair removal done she probably listens to this because I told have this pocket well maybe she does but it's so crazy it's so crazy to me when I listen to people talk about their relationships or their exes or whatever because I'm like okay we've all been there like I've allowed so much shit in relationships I let things slide for so long like I know what that's like like I've been there done that but now that I'm on the other side and

something super healthy and super like ideal as far as like life partner choosing goes and like marriage goes and future daddy or future father to my kids goes like like I've landed something that's like a neat I swear to god it feels like I found the chalice what's that thing called the holy grail of men like literally and well for me because it's like you know not everyone's his cup of tea not everyone's my cup it's it's finding your match right so um what am I saying holy shit what is this podcast we can do it we can do it we're gonna get through it because I it's I want to have a wild Friday Friday night I don't want to be staring at this uh podcast and editing it for too long so we got to like keep it on on the tracks um totally went blank

whoa holy shit oh shit I scored a man what am I saying I um oh it's crazy when I hear people talk about their relationships and when they start complaining about the guys they the guy they're with and they've been with them for like three years and they're talking about it's like and I'm like I just don't I'm like whoa dude like I have I know I have it really good I know I'm really blessed and lucky or whatever like I have all those things on my like I you know I'm the god said here Jacqueline like you're gonna have you're gonna get a good one and it's all gonna work out and you're gonna be extremely happy and extremely like fulfilled and you don't have anything to worry about there will be no drama no like anything no like anger rage craziness toxicity

you will have a healthy situation that's like what I was given from the heavens like I swear to god like that's how it feels um but yeah I just sometimes when I listen to people talk about their relationships or when I oversee things or overhear things I'm like oh my god like it doesn't have to be like that and if it is like that I think it's about self-love because to be honest to be honest like I allowed the when I was when I didn't really know my worth and I didn't truly like love myself and when I didn't value my or yeah like that's when I allowed all the toxic behavior because I just felt that that was a dynamic like I was malleable I was moldable I was willing to put up with things because I was like holding on for dear life because I

um also had like an ego like about like I don't want to lose this man because I want to keep him because I feel like he's the prize and I put him on a pedestal like that whole thing oh my god never do that um so I was like yeah always like holding on like gripping on for dear life and anyways but when you're when you know you're worthy of perfection and really nothing's perfect but when you when you yeah know your worth and love yourself um you don't put you don't have time for bullshit you don't put up with it you cut it off like it just if it happens you're like oh well okay goodbye done I know it's easier I know it's that's like an easy thing to say or like it's not that simple um and love is blind ain't that the truth like you um my whole career in dating was

like oh I'm super physically attracted to them and so as long as even if they're like pissing me off right now well they're fun to look at like that was always the thing like they're because I was so attracted to them like all the bad things they would do to me and how they would treat me would like slide or I would like not I would like kind of like I was like blind to it because I was like oh they're hot that's not good that's not good so um another tip like I don't know this is going to be the relationship advice segment for some reason I don't know what was I going to talk about oh Netflix is and I've mentioned this before but longevity or like if you want longevity in a relationship you where it's like fun and exciting and it never dries out or whatever

like all the all the things that people talk about like marriage is boring or it's like your life ends when you get married people are so like dramatic about it like the secret to relationships and for long-term relationships is like being best friends truly like liking them as a person being able to just talk to them all day long about whatever like you go on a seven-hour road trip it's banter the whole time it's fun the whole time there's jokes there's fun there's deep talks there's everything like you that is this true because a lot of life is mundane is boring is transitional like you're going from the car to the house you're going from the house to the you're like walking around room to room and you're passing by each other and it's just very like

it's just yeah kind of mundane and ho-hum like you know but if you meet someone or if you're if you can date someone or marry someone that makes those little transitional lulls and weird like boring moments fun and entertaining you won the lottery like that is the secret right there because i have that and i can tell you right now life is fun as shit when i'm with cory because everything is like literally and i've talked about this so many times like it's from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed it's like all day long um i'm literally marrying a joke machine like a comedy machine it's so fun like um and I guess it's everyone's got you know their preference what they like what they're into I didn't realize how important I

knew I loved comedy I love humor I'm I'm not a serious person myself and um it's really nice when you meet someone who matches that kind of energy and um he's like actually funny like like i feel like all the guys i've ever dated were like dad joke guys like squares squares which is crazy because cory's a golfer and like most golfers are very square very boring very like robotic he's like not but um am i a square i'm kind of am i like a goober he says i'm a goober kind of a nerd sometimes when i listen back to my podcast i feel like do I have a lisp what kind of what's my vibe wait I always wonder this like like you can never perceive yourself from the eyes of someone else

but so the whole like social media thing is like the it's like the attempt or the you attempt to control your attempt to yeah manage the perception manage other people's perception of you by what you post and that's like what everyone's doing everyone's like like this is who I want to be this is how I want people to think of me so I'm gonna therefore I'm gonna post this kind of stuff and these kind of pictures and write these kind of things and it's all about like controlling people's perception of you you'll never be able to perceive yourself from the eyes of someone else so it's always interesting to me I'm like what the fuck is my vibe okay like I I'm a little tacky I'm a little

brash sometimes I swear I you know I know that I'm not polished and like you know hoity-toity like that um just just you know I'm I don't know I'm I'm just I'm a good fucking time if you're still here I'm a good time that's what this is I'm a good time um yeah if you're yeah if you're still listening it must be a good time because uh hi um my listening rate or whatever is crazy it can like show you now like i have these analytics on spotify like the retention of your listeners over the course of an episode and i'm always just like i i want to shit my pants i'm like um people apparently like to hear what i have to say so we watch leave the world behind on netflix okay leave the world behind it's got oh my god is it bullock or is it andrews

okay Andrew no Jennifer no Julia Roberts wait Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock are the same person prove me wrong hold on let me look at Google Julia Roberts I'm watching this leave the world behind documentary on Netflix it's very dystopian it's very like end of the worldy kind of like you know if shit hit the fan and the power grid turned off and we all had to like fend for ourselves like what would happen like it's it's very realistic like that um hold on Julia Roberts Sandra Bullock um but I'm like oh wait Julia Roberts Sandra Bullock Jennifer Gardner same person wait a minute is this a thing oh my god wait a minute this is scary it's mostly Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock for me

that confuse me um they like facially or they've been in similar movies like like rom-coms and like like is Miss Congeniality Sandra Bullock or is it Julia Roberts it's Sandra Bullock but like my brain gets discombobulated okay anyways so it's I'm looking at their faces right now it's Julia Roberts is in this who else is in this Robert Downey Jr. I think isn't it what's the cast whatever it's produced by the obamas weirdly um people are like the only reason i oh no ethan hawke julia roberts kevin bacon not robert downey jr um i can't say his name but his it's like ma or marsh marshala marshala ali great actor um yeah people online were talking about how the obamas produced it and it's like super realistic as if the government

like wrote the script like okay you're on a family vacation you're at an airbnb and this is the the premise you're at an Airbnb and then I don't know at some point you're like trying to turn on the tv to watch movies or something and the internet goes out and okay so now you have no wi-fi and then like weird things start happening someone knocks on your door and it happens to be the owners of the Airbnb and they had to flee the city because the power was all out there or something and they had to go they wanted to stay at their home that they rented out to you for the week for your vacation and now they want to come and stay with you because they don't feel safe in the city like something like that like I don't know if I'm getting that perfect um but yeah it

was this crazy like kind of thriller vibe documentary highly recommend watching if you haven't um and what I loved what I what I think it depicted so perfectly is building trust with strangers over time and how at first like this couple not this couple this daughter and this son no mother of god am i here we're here we're on the rails we're back okay this father and daughter knock on the door because they own this mansion it's like this beautiful i think they're outside of new york somewhere i don't know what the location was but kind of outside of the city they knock on the door and they were at like the symphony or at some like hoity-toity party that's the word of the podcast hoity-toity um and they had to leave because you know the power

shut off or the wife I don't know like something happened with the grid and they knocked on the door and these people came to like stay on vacation there and they're just so sketched out like the dad so it's Sandra Bullock or excuse me Julia Roberts and the husband you know answer the door the kids are like asleep they have two kids there and say uh Julia Jesus Julia Roberts is getting all like she's picking up the like sketchiness of this situation she's like you know we didn't see their car pull in we didn't even hear them like come up to the door like I don't trust these people there's you know she she was getting all like weirded out by them and but what i'm trying to say is over the course of the movie you see how the trust starts to build because

shit's hitting the fan there's like planes planes crashing because there's the sensors on them get all fucked up when the grid goes down there's like crazy um sound weapons blasting there's um weather shit happening there's um i'm trying to remember like the scary parts of this movie or just like the weird parts it's kind of just it was weird um oh yeah like cars crashing like anyways i just really liked that part how it was very it was realistic like seeing because at first when you meet someone you're like and you're welcoming welcoming they were welcoming the dad and the daughter into their own home but they were like we're renting this on airbnb like this is where we're staying on our vacation and there but the what we didn't know is the dad was part of

this he like knew people that worked in the defense department and he had overheard things about this happening and blah blah blah blah so he like knew what was going on and that's why he wanted to come stay at his own house and hunker down and um it was really cute i don't know like with a daughter and she was like obsessed with friends and the ending's kind of like you'll either either love it or hate it i was really hoping for a sequel situation um am i still recording yeah okay i'm like dragging this netflix thing on a little too long so you watch that we're also watching the world war ii on the front lines documentary where it's got raw footage from world war ii like super up close and personal in color because they've completely like revamped the

footage the black and white footage and it's gripping like oh and what i can't get over i'm like it's just so strange to me or it's hard to like wrap my head around the look and the feel of world world war ii meaning like they just look too they're dressed a little too nice for being soldiers or something like it was weird like the english the germans the french everyone was just like in the videos like so the japanese the americans i don't know i just had such a they're all so clean cut and i know that's how our soldiers are now in the military like clean shave clean hair you know nice outfits or like they're a little more like rugged looking now i guess with their outfits but like back then it

was just so they looked a little too pristine to be shooting the shit out of each other and i don't know it was just like just and then also hearing from the soldiers like they interviewed them and the Nazis are still alive and it's just it's this one guy had said he like was walking in the forest and he was ordered to shoot this Jewish man and he like let him go and he told the guy you know I'm not a monster I'm a human being and he like kept walking and he lived and I don't know it was just it's crazy so we're watching that on netflix highly recommend leave the world behind the world war ii on the front lines documentary and then we watched this surgeon i think it's called bad surgeon no is it bad surgeon i think it is about this windpipe uh surgeon who like was a complete

fraud and it's like this love story triangle thing it's crazy so watch that um i really like those medical documentaries where it's like dr death was a good one um where they're just complete flukes and just like literally using people as guinea pigs and they don't even know what the fuck they're doing or they do know what they're doing and they're just pretending like it works for example this guy was cutting people's throats apart and putting plastic tracheas in them that were supposedly meant to grow stem cells on them but these poor people's windpipes these plastic windpipes were collapsing and they weren't functional and the stem cells weren't even growing on them and they were they died it was horrifying like i think that it was a rough watch

because they had footage of like post-surgery you know this nice looking young girls like you know smiling at the doctor and um you just know that over the next three years she's going to go through hell because her windpipe i don't know how she lived for three years they like kept her alive like she couldn't talk but she could like write and um it was like her throat was like rotting from the inside out was horrible like some people died faster obviously like within a month or two after the surgery he was he's he's walking and talking right now living a free man living as a free man um doctor it's like mock bad surgeon i don't know do you like this thing are you into these topics i don't know bad surgeon love under the knife

maccherini a palo maccherini yeah it's he was like dating this woman and she was like you know drinking all the snake oil or whatever and he was just schmoozing her the whole time meanwhile he had like a wife and kid in Italy and then like another wife and kid in Barcelona like that she found on a girl's trip because she was suspicious and it was like this and they were supposed to get married and like I don't know he like knew all these super high level people like he wanted to invite like the Clintons to his wedding in Italy and like um what's his face the piano man um Rod Stewart not him who's the other guy that's really good at piano

Bon Jovi no I can't say his name it's like I'm drawing a blank right now Bad Surgeon Bad Surgeon Leave the World Behind and the World War II docs highly recommend very good very good watches across the board um I haven't seen those are it's it's been a while where I'm like I like it's hit or miss on Netflix but those ones are really those are all really good ones um Matt Rife I guess I'll talk about him so my whole brand here has always been I don't talk about things I don't know about um and this is this is one of those things the Matt Rife drama where I'm like I don't really know about it I didn't watch his Netflix special I've heard about what he's said and done and I just think he's too pretty that's all I

that's all I know like he's um I feel like he's going a little too hard in the paint defending himself or like going on podcasts and talking about it like just I don't know why this is even a thing and why it's such a huge like topic right now like everyone's talking about what matt rife did it's like okay like this is nothing it's a it's a nothing burger in my opinion like he made a domestic violence joke on in his netflix special and um he has a mostly female female audience because he's like a pretty boy like hot boy like you know it looks like he could be in like one direction or whatever like um and so and he grew on tiktok for doing all of his crowd work uh clips and he was like forbes whatever most he made like 20 million dollars

this year um you know he's high level like at that he's on his way up or whatever like he's uh peaking or not peaking he's hot right now that's what it is he's hot right now and i've seen his crowd work i think he's really quick i think he's great i don't really have anything negative to say about him i just know like everyone's like he did make a stupid ass comment on that um on a video bunny i think's her name on tiktok she like she's like this blonde fun like creator that sits in her closet and talks about i don't know like girly stuff i've i've watched her videos um but anyways matt rife made a comment on one of her videos to um directed at her six-year-old son and said something along the lines of like um Santa's not real and your mom

buys your Christmas presents from the money she makes on OnlyFans like just such an out-of-pocket like not even it's not even accurate like she doesn't have OnlyFans she doesn't make her money off that it was just like what the like why comment that so people are just hating on him for that too like big time and um I don't know I think he's giving it a lot of he's yeah it just seems like he's giving us too much attention it doesn't like I don't know okay here's my whole opinion about being targeted online or being quote-unquote like canceled for something you say it's not even like you're canceled you're just like hated on for a while about something you said or did my whole take on it is like don't react don't react to it act just keep it moving

that's what I don't understand like when people literally go dark go off the internet like unless you did something that's literally illegal that you could go to jail for like if you said something people are offended by and you lost your female audience like oh that's shitty right like you know what a how ironic is that you know you're offending the it's like it's comedy I don't know like again I didn't watch his special i think i saw a clip of it it was very quick like he made a quick comment about something about like if a woman this woman knew how to cook she wouldn't have this black eye or i don't know something along those lines and um but yeah the whole cancel thing like um you know

i've said some out-of-pocket shit about like or in support of andrew tate before i'm keeping that shit on the internet like i don't care you don't like it like he like you don't have to follow me watch me listen to me like that's how i think i don't understand how people let the masses like shut them down or make them like why say anything like don't clap back don't try to defend yourself never never explain that's the best advice never explain you don't need to like i don't know um this guy made a good point about it he's like Matt Rife didn't sign the social contract that he's like a white man in society who's like a

good-looking white man comic he speaks what he says isn't it's it's as if that's Matt Rife himself in his worldview not a character he's playing as a comics worldview we're like if you're kind of doing a shtick or if you're doing a bit and you say something it alleviates that like it it alleviates that thing where the audience the audience doesn't perceive what you're saying as like that's coming from what you think in your mind it's like the act you're doing or like the shtick or the bit like a character so I don't know how to explain it like it just softens the blow a little more it makes it less like it's coming straight from your mind and because Matt Rife blew up because of his crowd work like we know Matt Rife is Matt Rife

on stage talking to people as Matt Rife and so I don't know this guy made a good point like you have to like know your audience and like her know where they're coming from and like I don't know what the fuck i don't know it's just some shit i overheard what's new um okay time to expose myself history on my google well we know i just searched sandra bullock and julia roberts okay we checked out on dyson.com i probably don't have any weird google searches on my laptop here cropped workout tee vintage yeah i've been wearing this waist trainer at the gym and i don't like wearing a sports bra with it where i'm like sports bra waist trainer and leggings i like having a

flowier top the crop top over the waist trainer and then the leggings if that makes sense like that whole silhouette so um let me go on my my iphone i'm gonna do my screen time and my google searches and I need to wrap this up because I want to have a wild Friday night and I don't want to be this is actually how I um okay sorry I'm like doing two things at once oh god history google history how do I go to it oh did I clear my history why is it not popping up it's probably taking a while to populate see if i have any like oh my god nfl sunday ticket that's such a okay i gotta go on a rant right now about watching nfl games what there needs to be

now i'm a seattle seahawks fan okay i live in california they always whenever it's like sunday and the seahawks are playing and like the chargers or the rams are playing or like the raiders i don't know people more in this region people teams more in this region those are the games that are broadcasted on like abc um fox like you know like the main nfl game channels okay like for me to watch the seahawks i have to literally go through all of these hula hoops pay all this money and then sometimes when i go all that go that distance i can't even i can't even figure it out and find it and watch it. And it's like a whole thing. So I, I finally figured out, okay, the key to success. If you want to watch a Seahawks or all the games for the most part

is YouTube TV plus NFL Sunday ticket. Tell me why. Okay. I'm paying for like, what is this? Um, am I paying for his query? We've got direct TV here. Okay. And we have apps. We have an Xbox. seahawks we have all different types of ways to watch we've got another tv with different apps we've got fubu we've got like i don't know peacock we've got we've got all of them okay um and what am i saying but watch this seahawks i got youtube tv okay so i'm what am i saying the direct tv that whole situation plus like you know our subscriptions for all the other apps is like I don't know 150 plus dollars a month ish maybe less um I don't know if that includes wi-fi probably does whatever so for me to watch the Seahawks I have to pay $72.99 a month for YouTube

TV we already have direct TV so we're already watching all the main channels that YouTube TV basically has too so it's like buying the same thing for $72.99 a month plus the NFL Sunday ticket gives you access to all the games but it's like 350 on top of the 72 72.99 a month so it's been this whole thing where like it's sunday you know maybe we're here maybe we're at cory's parents house or wherever someone's house with a tv and i want to watch the seahawks and we're like oh shit we need to you i'll have to like log into my youtube youtube tv will i keep canceling it because i'm i'm like oh i'm only going to use it for this game because i don't want to keep paying for this then I have to rebuy it get a refund like I go through all these like

I try to you know finagle a little bit just because I'm a cheap ass because it's like why would I spend that fucking much just to watch one game um I think the key to success is go to like a Seahawks bar there's one in Pacific Beach here in San Diego it's called Thrusters like I should just show up there every weekend because like honestly I'm a little checked out of the Seahawks this year at this point it's a little bit um you know all I have to say is Charbonnet Charbonnet Charbonnet right is how you say it kick-ass running back he cuts he cuts like it's there's certain running backs where you watch them you're like it's just like they get through the line they're passing the defender they're just getting through it and they're making they're making yards

they're making those getting those yards they're not just i feel like most of the time you watch a running back they just run into the the line and they're tackled like they don't cut they don't get around it charbonnet he's this kid out of ucla i believe um so good we also have walker he's good he's solid i think he's our like main first string um gino's hurt i don't know he hasn't really impress me this year like he's he's pretty solid but like a lot of a lot of the times of the fourth quarter he like he just shuts down in the pocket and you're like come on you know what I mean like get out of there get a little athletic with it like back up 20 yards if you have to like run around like but he'll just kind of like back up and get sacked and it's like fuck me you know

um I get real passionate about the Seahawks it's just like it's the one thing that makes me connected to my home in Washington the most you know like something about the Seahawks okay Google searches we didn't get to those but I pulled up oh um oh because I had a YouTube TV uh tab open pepperoncinis I googled pepperoncinis how I googled how narcissists handle confrontation here's a fun thing to read so I was dealing with a narcissist and I was like trying to get I was confirming that I wasn't crazy basically by reading this I was trying to like confirm that I wasn't crazy so how do narcissists handle confrontation and I've dealt with a lot of narcissists in my life it's like um

yeah it's unfortunately they're everywhere um but if you don't know that you're dealing with one dealing with one then you'll the you'll react um how a normal person would react and you're going to get burned every time and defeated and you're going to feel crazy and you're going to just like feel like your life is hell but if you know you're dealing with one you know how to respond and react and the best way to deal with a narcissist is to not give them anything they want you to respond and react and fight back and get they need that that's how they thrive so um you can't you almost it's it's so hard to do in the moment but like that's the that's the key so i was googling this is one of my google searches how narcissists handle confrontation number one

rage at you number two gaslight you use word salad and confuse you three stonewall you say nothing at all like you don't matter uh number four lie and or play the victim play the victim is a huge one uh five twist everything said deflect then blame you and six punish you for making them liable give you silent treatment and yeah yeah so it's very manipulative it's very just on it's just not it's like so easy to live a good life and be a good person and not be so emotionally unstable like I always go back to perspective like I don't know what I don't know maybe it's because of all the adversity I faced and all of the trauma and the bullying and the blah blah blah all the

the shit bag of things I've gone through in my life I swear I feel it's like I had to go through all of that to gain this immense perspective about life and the world around me and people and relationships like all of the things right and so now because I have that overarching perspective and like very macro view of things. I don't, I don't get, I don't get hung up on details and small things. And, um, when people do me wrong, I don't know, like I don't get all, I don't re I'm not highly reactive and angry and like, I just choose peace and love every time, like as much as possible like it's just not worth it it's not that I'm just a I don't let people walk all over me okay but if someone walks all over you makes you feel like shit like I think

old me younger me you know it took me a while to get to this point I think I would tell them off and get all like heated and shit but like now I'm literally like level-headed like this hurt my feelings when you said this I don't appreciate you know I'm more like eloquent about it or more stable like level about it than all emotional like fuck you like it's just not worth it um those types of people are never worth it either like if someone does you wrong like that or makes you angry makes you feel crazy or hurts you or whatever like just like pray for them literally just like pray for them like like oh um what other weird google searches are on here um

how to make tamales in the instant pot i don't even have an instant pot oh like um um how to remove a stuffy unclog and uncle how to remove uh or how to unclog your sinuses a booty workout last oh this is like an old search last living suspect in 1996 drive-by shooting of tupac shakur shakur indicted in las vegas on murder charge that's crazy that happened like back a couple months ago now um okay screen time this is where this is where we get embarrassed or not even embarrassed we get we get honest we get really um where do i go to screen time home screen do i just search screen time i think it's like six hours let me guess what it is i bet it's like six something

okay my average my daily average in the last seven days is five hours and 33 minutes um on my phone how do I see okay today I was on my phone for four hours I was on Instagram for an hour and 26 minutes a TikTok for 42 okay Reddit for six minutes this is very eye-opening so like so in the course of this week I've been on my phone for 33 hours and 23 minutes I invite you before you like judge me because I oh fuck it I don't even care I own this like I know what I'm doing but like I'm sure like if your screen time is like an hour and a half whoa like I don't know anyone out there that's literally that low

um I guess if you're like doing stuff all day long and like you're just not you don't have any downtime or like you just read instead of I don't know um it's like a way of life now it's a really weird thing to reflect on like it's been exasperated post pandy post pandemic like the the phone usage like it's kind of always been in my hand and in front of my face for like the last 10 years now 10 maybe like 12 but yeah but um it's just wild like it's I think there was a time I don't know like maybe just say like six years ago where I wonder like if I had to look back six years like what my screen time would have been then versus now I don't know like I'm trying to like think about this like

it was like a slow burn over time where now everywhere you go all the time people are just staring at their phones like I was in the grocery store I was at Trader Joe's and like I can't tell you how many people were like headphones in like phone in their hands like shopping like grocery shopping like I don't know like standing in line just staring at their phones like you know and I I always go back to the Gary V quote like don't fight reality like embrace it like you can't you're not gonna you're not gonna change it I think the only thing you can control is how much you're on your phone like discipline is like it's the highest form of self-love as they say it's the highest form so like my quality of life is very high okay I have a very good

life a very easy life I am very blessed I'm very privileged I don't struggle a lot like I'm you know what I mean so I wonder how much more my quality of life would improve by not looking at my phone because I'm not really affected by it I'm sure I am I'm sure I'm all the things that are bad about social media are you know they've hit me in some way or another in the in my career on the internet like I'm sure okay I'll of course um but I don't fester about it I don't think about it I just I think one thing I've been good at is curating my feeds where I'm only seeing things that I unfollow and I mute a lot or like get rid of the clutter as much as possible like I try not to I don't know like follow people that irk me you know like

that's not good or um I follow a lot of like news accounts because I think that's what it is I like to go on my phone for news stories and like seeing what's happening in the world like I think it's good to have a pulse on that at all times like just having a you know a light understanding of what's happening in the world like you know there's a 52 foot whale that washed up here in San Diego a couple days ago like I'm glad I saw that I'm glad I followed that uh NBC San Diego feed because I got you know what I mean like I that's like that's a good way to use your phone for for news for connecting with people your friends like seeing what they're up to like you know I don't think it's that bad I just yeah quality of life improving if I I don't know like

do I just I always think about like what would I do instead because I've been reading more I think reading um I don't know I don't have any like yeah area I'm like where are my areas areas of weakness that I need to improve like okay I'm on my phone a lot we clearly just found that out but like what area is like eating me alive right now not really anything like where I'm like oh I need to get super disciplined and like switch it up and like you know change something I'm doing in my life I need to make a change like I don't feel like I need to make a change um like I'm always I'm always working towards like little goals big goals whatever but like I'm talking about my day-to-day routines and how I live my

life like what do I really need to switch like that's the thing when shit hits the fan this is how I know that it's time to make a change okay and I'm this I'm this kind of person I don't know if you can relate to this but unfortunately this is it's how I'm wired I get to a point where I literally crack and I get so over it over how I'm living over how I'm acting over my situation over it where I'm like it's almost like it's been beat to death I've been putting up with it for so long and then I'm like at this rock bottom where I'm like okay tomorrow I'm gonna start fresh I'm to change my life I mean like it has to get to that point though so I think I'm at a point in my life now where things things might not be a 10 out of 10 they're like an 8 out of 10 but like

they could be a 10 out of 10 if I had a little more discipline or what you know what I mean like I can make micro adjustments to improve in certain areas but nothing where I'm like a rock bottom where I'm like fuck me you know and I've been there most of my life I feel like um not most of my life I go in waves but I just always think of like from 16 maybe even younger than that let's just say 16 to 26 that was kind of my those were my growing pain years of just like being a teenager going to college moving to California by myself figuring it out dating people breaking up with people like you know and then now I'm 29 I'm engaged my life's pretty sweet and yeah I want to ride this fucking wave for the rest of my like like I don't know how to explain

it I'm like dude like isn't this this is like so then it's inspiring then I get inspired by myself and then I'm like how can I level up again or like how can I have this as my launching pad and then where could I go from here and I think I'm at that place where I'm like I'm ready for that next you know endeavor that next thing because I'm in a good I have a good base now um but we'll see what that is I'm excited for my 30s let's just say that I think um kids are in the works or going to be in the works or in the conversation and on this podcast um which is so insane I like get so excited and nervous about at the same time like it's like I don't know how to explain it it's just so crazy I'm like and I always reflect on

this I'm like there's so many things in my life like time fucking flies okay I definitely went through the whole pandemic skip where like okay it's 2020 now it's 2023 like what the fuck happened like where did that time go and now I'm turning 30 next year like what you know but it's crazy like all I talked about all all of these excuse me let me get water then I'm gonna wrap this up I would say things when I was younger like oh I want to get married someday I want to have kids or I always envisioned by the time I'm 30 or around 30 I'll like settle down or I'll like start a family you know but then it's crazy when you're like right there doing it and reality hits and you're like oh my god and that's so exciting it's like

yeah like because I I think it feels good I always say this like it feels good to put stakes in the ground and make decisions in life and commit to things commitment feels fucking good it does and I think so many people in my generation are scared of commitment they're scared of settling down they're scared of oh god if I have kids I'm gonna be I can never go back or if I get married I'm oh the divorce rate it's like they're just so they're so negative about it and I think I've always took the approach that like what do I have to lose like I only see the net positive over time like I always recommend or something that I've heard and other people recommend is like think of yourself at 52 like

and not having kids or like I don't know like think of yourself as an old person like and it's just you like you don't want that you know so figure it out figure it out figure it out the figure out your hair your good hair your tan and your nails figure out your relationship family situation if you want it I only can speak from my experience what I want so it's like easy for me to say these things but like I get it like most people or not most like a good amount of people out there don't want what I want so who am I to say that you know that this is what you should go after I just see I just uh it's like again it's like so so easy for me to say because i know that i am lucky like i so that's what i'm here for like you know if anything

i i hope to be a source of inspiration and light and hope and like that it's possible like i literally my biggest episode is my episode about getting cheated on and then i met cory within like a month and now i'm engaged to him we're getting married like dude life just it gets it keeps going it goes on you will get through it and yeah what are my pillars of my main pillars on this show decide commit because it feels good don't be wishy-washy and indecisive because yeah commitment feels good deciding on things feels good uh stop thinking shut your brain off shut your goddamn brain off stop overthinking stop thinking have a short have a shut off valve for shit talk in your mind okay if you have to get

on prozac like myself go fucking talk to a psychologist like i swear to god like one of my biggest tips or if you really if you spiral all day long if you're really depressed all the time and negative and down on yourself all the time and gloomy just always in like a frumpy dumpy mood i'm pro medication okay i'm i used to be oh my god it's oh i don't want to be on meds and then you see all these fucking fitness people now like oh every girls need to get off birth control off meds like you need to be all natural track your cycle eat your fucking red meat like I get it like there's such an idealistic um like picture being painted right now of like a perfect little healthy body mind and soul out there like I don't know super like holistic and whole and well

and it's like um if you're curious I'm in my luteal phase so apparently I'm gonna be a raging bitch in the next week um yeah but if you're take it from me I when I was at my rock bottom I got with a therapist I got a medication and it shut off that shit talking part of my brain and I remember telling my therapist I was like you know we do our check-ins you know she's like how are things going blah blah and I'm like I don't hate myself anymore like I don't think about all the negative things about myself anymore like I literally don't and now it's leaving all this space for me to think about what I'm good at think about what I like about myself and it's like holy shit I'm actually a cool person I'm actually like I got it going on and so like yeah but if you can

naturally just shut that part off of your of your brain because it doesn't serve you there's no it's not useful your mind your negative comments to yourself in your mind are useless the you know I'm too fat people don't like me I'm awkward I'm weird in social situations like none of that helps you none of it does it's it's useless information for you to think about so if you medication helps take it from me practicing it helps um talking it out helps like you know talk to someone um what are my other tips I don't know I have all these things like I do want to, I want to go into 2020. I want to make my brand. I don't know, like let me end the episode. Like I think we're going to see a big shift in content creation in 2024. I feel it

coming. I feel like people are getting burnt out. Like I said, in the beginning of this consumer culture, this over-consumption culture, this influencer culture, this flashy people just spending and blowing money and trying to be famous and shake their ass and show their tits and swipe up and blah blah like i think we're kind of maxing out of that as a society and i think the rise of regular people is gonna um take over unfold where i know that's kind of happening already but like i don't know i want to see more people with their shit together that's another thing you know less of like let's all like you know how i know this is happening victoria's secret is getting the hot bitches they're they're bringing the hot bitches back okay victoria's secret is bringing the angels

back they're saying fuck we've lost money people aren't buying our shit we're bringing what victoria's secret is all about back which is unattainable beauty okay when so that's a good sign okay when the fat models start going away and the hot bitches come back like that's when you know things are heading in a better direction as a society and I'm because we need that we need to be looking at things that are like everything like ebbs and flows or there's always the pendulum always swings back to the middle eventually but like we've had too much of this like here are my stretch marks my cellulite my pimples and I have all these problems and I'm going to therapy and I'm on fertility treatment

and I am telling you all my problems with my relationship and I told you all it's just like over sharing as fuck and it's like I want to teach people how to have their shit together and how to like be hot healthy and happy you know that's my that's my why hot healthy and happy hot healthy and happy Corey just texted me are you still filming um I don't know I'm just I don't want to contribute to like the just bullshit of the internet am I probably a little bit like you know what's happening though like people are pushing back on influencers like they're over oversharing is cringe oversharing is cringe and I kind of get it like

I've been doing that for three years so I'm a little bit it's like too far gone now and like this is i'm not changing what i'm doing here at all um but yeah anyways i gotta wrap this up should i call cory and put him on speaker and just see what's going on let me call him he always picks up get you a man that always picks up hi honey you're on the podcast oh wonderful how you doing good i'm wrapping it up but i just wanted to check in are you still at the office I am yes okay goodbye um do you want me I'll be back in about a half hour just checking in okay well okay well I'm just wrapping up do you want to say anything to the podcast or do you have any life advice don't wait find what your passion is

and go for it just don't wait and never stop just keep doing what you love and buy buy your woman the dyson air wrap so she doesn't i'm kidding no buyer woman lays her hair of all true i'm kidding i talk that keeps on giving because the dyson wrap can break but no hair will stay forever do you know it grows back after pregnancy honey no like literally oops no like it could happen it might not but like it sometimes happens well we'll just pretend it won't yeah i didn't hear that la la la la la la okay um do you want normal dinner here or fancy dinner or what kind of dinner well let's do a little of both we'll do normal fancy here do you want me to cook you're good at that yeah we have a lot of food

we have so much food yeah i got really good cottage cheese today let's do cottage cheese and something else and beef yeah i like beef and like i don't know i'm feeling like kind of feeling like pasta but i know i have i have some we can make that are you feeling it kind of let's do that in like your meatballs okay should we just go to an italian restaurant instead i mean no no we can do that on the weekend yeah let's yeah keep it tight let's stay true to what we're talking about stay true to who you are um yeah uh oh do i have anything else to ask you

um i wish i had i know i wish i had a fun riddle or something like a joke like what does the cat say to the what do you call a cow with no legs what is the what did i what do i say to you in the morning don't go to the road that's untraveled but take the highway to the no you say don't take the don't go down the path if you don't know the road or don't go on the road if you don't know the map really don't go down the dirt trail if you can't go on the main road i don't know um honey why are you so like up in the morning like in high spirits well a lot of it depends on what happened the night before so nothing happened the night before

if you know what i mean then honey no i'm not talking about like okay i'm talking about like your resting state in the morning is just so positive i mean i choose to look one or the other and i choose the latter okay i always talk about how in the morning you're like how many different ways like you're it's like as if your brain is like how many different ways can i make jacqueline laugh in the first five minutes of her waking up i know well when you have triple deep breaths honey that's really what happens that's why it's like i feel it okay it's still there okay that's why i should interview you i should put you on here more on your patreon this is your patreon no do you know what my patreon is uh sexual context no no i'm no oh

my god why are you like your head it must god damn okay uh do you know my link remember uh this is my show get you a man that publicly sexualizes you on the internet to that's right millions of people this is my show i'm kidding um patreon.com slash tjms that's right cool therapy square five dollars in a bit i'm leaving in 10 minutes okay love you oh you too okay bye patreon.com slash tjms for uh if you want to tip me it's five dollars a month yeah I'm gonna wrap the show up right now um yeah it's funny I I went to Victoria's Secret oh fuck I don't know whatever let's talk about my tits for two seconds I went to Victoria's Secret after I got my boobs done and I was like

so curious I wanted them to size me and they they said I was a triple d and I'm like I've made it like I felt like in that moment when she said you're a I'm a 34 triple d and she's like or I was just like I'm a woman bitch I'm a fucking no I was just such a moment um I never told that story I don't know if I ever will I don't know I feel kind of you know this is another opinion I have about the internet what I'm sick and tired of seeing is people that overshare about all of the work they've had done to the point where it just makes them look like they're a product or like a they're just like a piece of meat that's just

getting lasered and snatched and botoxed and injected and you know surgeried and it's just like they're they're like I want to be as honest and as authentic and as raw as to my audience as possible I don't want to hide anything I want to share everything and blah blah blah blah and it's like I don't know it just feels gross like I that's like private I feel like like your medical stuff is just like just do it and like I I've said this before but I feel like if you look at certain people and like you're like oh they're looking a little different and then you notice their side profile it's like oh they got a nose job like they don't need to tell you that they did that you can just tell like or you know oh they're looking a little more awake or nice oh

they probably got some Bowie like most chicks are gonna know if they're watching you on the internet like oh she went to a med spa last weekend like oh like we're not stupid but I ever it's almost like it's become this um I just hate the influencer culture everyone is like cosplaying too do you notice that they're cosplaying the type of person they want to be and not the person they actually are you know what I mean like it's so hard because when you're exposed to so many faces so many videos so many people all day long on your timelines on your phone you people start molding into the same person over time like and that's why there's this whole like there's a TikTok voice the way people talk on their videos like it's this or an influencer voice where they

pause because they're thinking and it sounds like this or whatever like and then there's like cosplaying the like the um the look and the feel of your content meaning like there's a subset of um fashiony influencers where every single one of their pages looks the same they're all taking the same types of photos using the same types of filters all the shots look similar it's very like pinteresty and pretty and like nice i don't know it's like like i i don't know everything is like rubbing me the wrong way i'm just like i just want to see regular ass motherfucking people i can sit around a goddamn campfire with and drink a goddamn coors light and shoot the shit with like that's what i want to see so i started unfollowing like anyone who's

like a little too curated a little too fancy schmancy i'm like oh my god um it's like get a just they just want to look a certain they want to have a certain look and vibe to their shit or they i don't know it's hard it's really hard when we live in this world where like you're constantly getting inspiration from other people it's hard to be original and hard to be unique and i think uniqueness is your superpower that's your that's like all you've got you know that's what makes you you and it's easier said than done I think you know I fall into all the basic bitch categories I'm the first one to admit it but like sometimes I'm like god damn you know what would it be like to dye my hair purple and fucking turn into like a western

like a goth western bitch and that's my brand like I don't know like doing something so off kilter and just different because I just to like be unique what did I say last week or I was like literally for me to like grow this podcast at this point it's like I need to sit in a field in Ohio I need to paint my body hot pink with Pepto-Bismol I need to be eating lobster with my bare hands and um while I'm podcasting and also getting a back massage from a monkey while I'm doing it like literally like it's just insane um or you could just be hot apparently that's what sex still stuff in uh breaking news uh sex still sells on the internet and it's just such an easy route it's just it really is it really it's so fucking tempting

just keeping it sexy online and just getting that getting those likes and that attention is just god it's so appealing I was looking at some archive photos I posted during the pandemic and it is so cringy and and disturbing like I literally have this photo of me in my old apartment in the living room on my ottoman in this romper thing that's super low cut and I don't have tits at the time and I was fully blonde and I'm like spreading my legs on it and I'm like taking a photo with my self-timer on my iPhone 7 or some shit and I posted that like what like I got sucked into some stupid ass like slutty propaganda or whatever like I just got I was like oh I'll take hot pics too why not I'll post these I don't know there's a way to be like classy and hot at the

same time and it doesn't matter just do whatever the fuck you want I'm not against it I'm not I'm just like not for me personally but you do you and i'm not ending this episode what even is it's literally dark out and the dogs need to walk they need to eat the farmer's dog um that'd be a sick sponsorship it's that shit's not cheap and we have two dogs um it's like 193 a month or maybe you ever too no I don't know I it's a lot um but they're happy they're super energetic and I don't know they their poops look healthier and oh I don't like that word poop I need to end this I feel like I'm really winding down all right I love you oh I don't remember when I had a hard time saying that the other week I was like I think it's weird to tell the internet you love them like

I love you oh my god bitch I love you so much um love you um i'm gonna make dinner walk the dogs feed the dogs post this podcast um yeah thanks so much for hanging out thanks for being here this is a good episode i really enjoyed it today um i always enjoy it sometimes they're better than other times so um thanks so much for hanging out taking the time it means a lot to me hope you're having a wonderful holiday season if you're not just keep listening to my podcast it'll help you get through it trust me like i would listen to my own podcast if i was going through it um i'll be there for you if you're going through a hard time this holiday season um yeah but i hope you know you're keeping

your chin up things are well in your life you're healthy you're happy you're having fun um please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and finally review the podcast give this a five-star review on the apple or apple or spotify apps helps me out helps me out helps people find out about the show that's it thanks so much for hanging out and i'll talk to you next week bye I go crazy when I'm mad And now you gon' wish you had shut the fuck up real bad

And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back I don't fuckin' take smoke, I'ma poke a hole through you Chokin's overdue Come at me and you won't get any older, dude Crack your hold or two Heated up inside of me, blood so violently, thanks for trying me Now it's finally time to see how this rivalry becomes my dynasty

I know there's no turning back Oh God, adrenaline wasted, so mad I can taste it I know there's no turning back Ayo, ayo, I'll do what it takes, I ain't making mistakes like that I'll bleed on your face just to make you go take it back I'll lose my shit, I go crazy when I'm mad And now you're gonna wish you had shut the fuck up real bad And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back

And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back Thank you.