The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 359- Merry Christmas You Filthy Animals

Episode Date: December 23, 2023

BECOME A PATRON! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/tjms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  KEEP IN TOUCH! INSTAGRAM »⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinemonroe/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TIKTOK » jacqueline.monroe  EMAIL THE SHOW! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  MY MUSIC GUY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  SPONSORS Spotify for Podcasters

What's up guys, it's episode 359. Welcome back to the show. I don't ever slow up, no I don't teach. I got no love for the fakeness. If you wanna play tough and wanna hate this, I'll always show up and make a statement. I don't ever slow up, no I don't teach. I got no love for the fakeness.

If you wanna play tough and wanna hate this, I'll always show up and make a statement. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline, welcome back to the show. welcome back to the show and happy almost Christmas merry almost Christmas we are going into the we're going into oh my god this limoncello LaCroix I'm trying to wash down the four Christmas cookies I just ate before this podcast with this lemon limoncello limoncello LaCroix it tastes like a candle I'm a big fan of candles but not when I drink them um

i'm so sugared out right now i don't even know what i just said that's how this that this entire episode episode is gonna be brain fog uh brain fog rants brain fog trailing off about something and then just forgetting what i said because literally i don't know who i am this week or i don't know something about me is that I will never sacrifice or I don't care how much information I know about health and wellness and sugar and you know processed foods and blah I could I don't care I will be a health nerd all year round but something about me is I will never sacrifice the holiday traditions that revolve around good food good baking goods cookies pies cakes like I will never give that up and so yeah

on Sunday let me bring you in right here and then I'll go on the spiel about because I do have a I do have an itinerary about what we're going to talk about I already lost my train of thought um are we giving up sugar in 2024 for real like i don't know i just have like really bad habits where i'm like super it's just so bad for you like i just feel so four ginger snap cookies in a row before this podcast um what was i saying i'll never give up my passions my baking traditions cookie baking I'll never give up making Christmas cookies during Christmas time okay on Sunday I baked all day long by myself like it was kind of like one of those things where I'm like I need

this should be done like at least four people need to be helping out with this like this is not this is a lot for one person to do and I have like limited counter space and like I don't have a KitchenAid. I had to do everything by hand. I made ginger snaps, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate or M&M cookies, peanut butter Hershey Kiss cookies, mint chocolate chip cookies, Russian tea cookies. Am I missing one? I feel like I'm missing one. there's another one I think there was another one I don't I can't think of it off the top of my head I went ham with the cookies okay because it's Christmas week and I baked them for everyone because I'm going over to Corey's parents house and his sister's gonna be there and her family and

a bunch of other people so I'm like okay I'm gonna get these cookies baked and put them in the freezer and I baked I baked cupcakes as well I did bake cupcakes as well so anyways i had a little fun with the the i had a lot of fun with the the cookie baking on a week ago sunday all week i have consumed all week i have consumed no less than like four christmas cookies a day like it's like an all-day thing like every now and then i'll just grab a new cookie i'll eat it and then cory will come home we'll have a couple more literally the other night right before bed I popped in like a chocolate chip cookie at like 9 30 p.m like this is not the time like I don't know my brain does this thing is this the pod

we're doing this yeah we're doing this right now whatever um my brain does this thing where like I'm sure I'm not alone in this I know that like everyone does this during the holidays and I know there's so many cliches like you don't want to be that person who gains 10 pounds and then starts all over in the new year you don't want to be that person blah blah it's like first of all my pro tip for the holidays because like I said I'm eating no less than seven I'll just put no four Christmas cookies a day at this point okay I've done that for a week straight because they're so fucking good like I'm I'm I mean it's annoying like I'm so good at baking cookies that it's like I wish I wasn't that I wish I they're just too good it's it's

like it doesn't make sense sometimes how good they are I'm like oh my like um it's like what are you good at I'm good at baking cookies like really fucking good at it so my pro tip for the holiday season is because I'm a big weightlifter you know that's my workout of choice most days of the week okay pro tip christmas cardio holiday cardio christmas whatever holiday celebrate up the cardio up the sauna up the water intake do not drink this limoncello lacroix it sucks that's what you got to do you got to like you got to think about things logically like or for me i go okay i'm eating a little more sugar than normal like i actually fuck 10 more like i just I every every year every year I get to the point like I'm almost burnt out of the cookie

thing it's been like five days of it now Christmas is on Monday I still have to get through the weekend I'm I always get myself to the point every single year and I usually go home for Christmas I'm like at my mom's house and I literally just eat everything inside the whole entire time I'm home like where I get so disgusted I'm like I don't want anything sweet for like a month and then like literally all of January I don't touch sugar and like it's a whole thing and it's like every single year and it's like enjoyable everything is like it's enjoyable in the moment I'm so fucking happy and then yeah is this disordered eating like I literally you guys go listen to my I don't want to bring it up it's like

I'm on the other side of all that food stuff now so like it doesn't it doesn't like affect me at all it honestly doesn't like but it's like if you know better if you want to feel better do better and I still don't I still don't I still don't learn from my like I'll literally wake up the next morning feel so sugared out and like shit and then I'll go hick I literally was on the stairmaster for an hour this morning and because like that's what it takes like you literally have to if you want to feel good and like counteract it you literally have to go like dude people watching this right now are probably like they just don't if you get it you get it like i don't care if this is like extreme or like

unhealthy or disordered i don't fucking care um no i literally like did cardio for an hour hard like i was going after it and then i sat in the sauna for like 20 minutes and just i i'm like a faucet um and then i got out and i felt felt i felt amazing and let's get into a transition into the next or let's go into this is a good transition for the next topic um i felt amazing i'm like all energized i'm like oh you know we got a coffee after the gym we come home and i have all this energy right and it's a whole like if you know better do better thing so i have this very specific thing that happens before i podcast or or i have this thing that happens where I'm like this is when I need to podcast like right now all like everything is firing on

all cylinders my brain's working my brain's firing I don't brain fog it's the right time of day blah blah so like there's a sweet spot and it's usually after I come home from the gym after a super hard cardio session in the sauna that's when I should podcast you know what I did instead I literally literally I came home from the gym at a coffee so I'm already like getting cracked out a little bit which is perfect for my podcast not this cookie limoncello LaCroix BS okay I come home from the gym and then staring me in the face immediately this is like my new boyfriend or something like it's like the the pull this thing has on me the amount of times I like think about it during the day is insane and it's because it's new and it's because it it was not cheap and it's my Dyson Air

okay what did I do instead of podcasting and I actually walked around my bedroom like I was I showered I had my hair all fresh and clean because I was gonna do the air wrap or and like you know curl it and because it has to be wet before you when you curl it anyways I was like walking in my room to like you know change into some sweats and I had a thought I'm like I'm up I'm up right now I'm good like this is the I should go podcast like I know I have like wet hair I'm like but I really want to do my hair and so what did I do I literally it took me an hour and a half does my hair look like it's $500 hair I don't is this worth it I'm kind of not sold I've I've had the Dyson Airwrap for and I'll tell the story oh my god the delivery story about

the Dyson Airwrap oh my god the it's absurd what happened it's also absurd my expectations around the delivery were also absurd but like I'll get into that what am I saying I yeah I took an hour and a half I've had it for oh I've had it for like three days and I've used it every day and i love it like it works amazing i just don't know if it's worth these curls are like every day i like look at cory after i do my hair and i'm like does this is this like does this look like 500 hair it's usually 600 but i got it on sale because it was they're doing a promo for christmas okay cool i talked about this on my last podcast um so then what did i proceed to do i ate meatballs okay i literally was so i had the entire large so i okay i drank an alani this is the chaos of

my life we'll just fucking go like let's just do it right now the topics we have today by the way we've got this is supposed to be the christmas episode there's a lightning storm last night i talked about baking christmas cookies check that off um i want to talk about uh this dog i almost saw die in the street and how i like went into superhero mode to save it um it was louie's birthday yesterday i want to talk about working on a christmas tree farm growing up um there was a killer whale pod here in san diego that came through and they were they were eating up all the dolphins and i want to talk about that the seahawks versus eagles game i want to talk about that but um

Um, back to, Oh my God. I'm like brain fog is setting in the Dyson air wrap. Um, Oh, the meatballs. Okay. So, okay. I wake up at five 10. I lay in bed until like five 30. Okay. Um, Jimmy, there was a lightning storm last night. Jimmy was on the bed because he, the lightning storm like shook our place. Like it was right on top of us. It hasn't done that. like not even Hillary hurricane Hillary was that intense like it was pretty rough and so Jimmy was like freaking out scratching on our door to come in so he slept with us last night anyways we like cuddle with Jimmy I immediately go and this is like not like Andrew Huberman or like any health and wellness person would be like this is where you're going wrong um notice how I'm like getting

the energy back when I podcast like this is how you know like this is good for you like I'm pushing through the tiredness I'm I know I made a mistake with the four Christmas cookies but like right now in this moment I'm getting my energy up just from talking it out and just from hanging out with you and just from I think it's the bubbles in this that are like literally inflating my soul and rising me up from my sugar coma okay cool so I immediately make our alani energy drinks because I have the packets. I get them on Amazon, those little sticks. I immediately make our Elanis. Okay. I change for the gym. We go to the gym. I do my cardio. Like I said, I do my cardio, my sauna. Corey does legs today. Cool. Come home. I told you the story about

how I made eye contact with my Dyson Airwrap and I showered and did my Dyson Airwrap for an hour and a half instead of using that energy to podcast okay i'm oh we got we got a coffee before our large coffee we get after the gym so we do the alani 200 milligrams milligrams of caffeine then we do the black coffee after the large black coffee it's just our routine this is what i've done since i've met him whatever cracked out on caffeine doing my dice and listening to the um earlier in november they recorded this the fucking we might be drunk episode with tim dylan mark norman and fucking what's his face is it ari shafir i don't remember anyways i was listening to that while i was doing my dyson blow out like i'm not sold like i don't know like

like it's nice like it's cute like it's shaped nice but like it's falling out and i used mousse like everyone says use mousse anyways i'm fully cracked out i'm exhausted from like you know doing the curls um because i have a lot of hair it's like anyways i had to stop like once it was like i was down to like the top here i had to stop because i was going to pass out from being so caffeinated i went went into the kitchen and i got these like not turkey these chicken meatballs these pre-cooked chicken meatballs out of the fridge pop them in the microwave put some sriracha on top pop those in in the bathroom while I was doing my air wrap okay so now I'm full of caffeine and protein okay we're cutting into the morning a

little too far we're pushing past the point of when I should have started the podcast because mental clarity energy you know that's when I would have would have been on point snapping my fingers okay at this point I'm breaking down okay I check some emails I do some things on my laptop I'm like kind of pretending like okay we missed the window to podcast I'll do it this afternoon I'll make another coffee after I take a nap or something like this is not healthy like this is I need to get my shit together in 2024 like I'm just telling you exactly what happened so this is when I started breaking down so I'm checking emails and then i'm getting a pull from the kitchen the kit like this is i'm like i want something sweet

okay it's the holiday season everything i justify everything i'm like oh i want a cookie right now so i have one okay then i have another one and then i have another we're down to four and then i watch a fucking tiktok that was like don't do things when you feel like doing that or don't make decisions based on how you feel and in that moment i'm like i need to do my podcast today and I don't feel energized to do it and I watch this little motivational speech someone's doing on a podcast I don't I don't know and they're like do the hard things when you don't feel like doing them because in the future when the hard things come across your desk you'll know that you can do them and you can do hard things you'll prove it to yourself you can do so like most of

the time if I'm if I do it to myself and I have the cookies and I'm super tired I'll like take the nap and then podcast you know after as an example not today bitch I'm like okay that fired me up I'm doing my podcast we're uh we're like 16 minutes deep right now that's how my morning went I gotta get it together like literally I'm turning 30 next year I like can't get away with the same shit I used to when I was like 16 like health and wellness like you literally have to like sleep eight hours you can't drink alcohol anymore you can't have any sugar anymore you have to like literally stretch and like do all this like myofascial release all the time and like do yoga all the time and like get all your kinks out like my back always hurts it's probably from

golf but like things are breaking down at a faster rate than they used to like to be honest and I know that's like I'm not that I'm like 29 like it's it's subtle but it's enough for me to notice like a difference between like 23 and now cool so um that was my morning now we're podcasting now we're kind of up um yeah so I'm also staring at okay I I have no chill with the cookies like it is so out of control like literally okay I made chocolate chip cookies one batch okay on Sunday right they were gone in two days that's how good they are cory and i ate them in the course of two days okay they were 10 times better than any of the other cookies they're so good like i i made a podcast episode it's called the best chocolate chip cookies ever um if you want to if you want

my recipe go find that episode it's like episode like 352 probably so i have no chill right i'm staring at a bowl of a triple batch of my chocolate chip cookie recipe because that's sitting out because I let them sit overnight because I decided that okay Cory and I ate all the good ones all the chocolate like we ate the chocolate chip cookies and now I can't bring those to Christmas so I need to remake them but this time like I'm gonna double them because I know Cory and I are probably gonna eat like half these anyways before we bring them over so I'm like literally today what am I gonna do again bake cookies like literally like what so um you know it's like super positive though like not to get all deep and like reflective but like

that's kind of what we do here i used to be at a place with like food cookies sweets in the house where like if it was in the house like i would eat literally all of it if i even knew it was there i would like obsess about it all day like i could be in my car like home or like driving to home depot or like run i don't know like i could be in town somewhere and then i'd like constantly be obsessing about it and now it's like i just eat them because they're so fucking good and i have and the thing i told cory like because sometimes like when we eat sweets or like foods that are like not the healthiest option for us that don't make us feel good because like that's the whole thing like they just don't make you feel good like i was saying i feel groggy i feel lethargic

i like have no my clarity the clarity brain my brain fog is like 10 out of 10 um the thing is that I've learned though is that if you eat a bunch of shit and then afterwards you're like oh like oh I feel like shit or like oh I shouldn't have eaten that like your body listens like it it's if you're in that state afterwards like I feel like it's not good for you like if you just keep it moving pretend like it didn't happen that's what I do like I literally just don't think about it um and if I want them like today I had four like I'm not sweating like I'm only sweating because I knew I needed I needed a podcast and now I'm kicking myself because now I feel like a like a like a lethargic slug so I think that's a good intro we're at 20 minutes

here I think I can post this to Instagram which is positive because like last week I posted a clip of my podcast and um I was stressed out because I thought like you couldn't post that that long of a video but apparently I think you can actually post up to 60 minutes I could keep this going why don't I just like who watching this sets their phone up and like plays 40 minute long Instagram videos like who does like I don't personally do that but like um like I was saying last week I want to establish a relationship or like have a give you a window into my podcast um like on instagram if you don't follow it which you should follow it go to the link in my bio to my spotify you can also follow it or subscribe to it on apple and

please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button if you also want to support the podcast patreon.com slash tjms it's five dollars a month check it out patreon.com slash tjms stands for the jacqueline monroe show review the show go give this this episode a five-star review uh just for the give this a five-star review because your christmas present to me is if i know what should i say um because I hate four cookies and I like they were pretty big and I felt tired and I podcasted

anyways because I got hyped up from a from an Instagram video that I should do hard things even when I don't feel like doing them don't make decisions based on how you feel make do them because you should be doing them like I have no issue going to the gym like I love going to the gym like I love I love podcasting but like sometimes if I don't feel right I'm like I'm not doing it until I feel right so um I almost saved a dog's or I saved a dog's life almost saved a dog's life or I thought I was going to so story time about yesterday I'm you know working looking out the window and this little like scruffy what kind of dog was he like a terrier some kind of like terrier dog

was chasing cars like just going full sprint like behind cars or running at a full sprint behind cars and my initial reaction like this is how like this was i was like wow like these moments don't really happen that often when they do i'm like damn like i'm about to like whenever shit goes down like you can count on me to save her life like for real so my initial reaction this second I was in a sports bra and literally like just like whatever I was like in my bra and underwear okay and anyways my initial reaction was I ran in the room I grabbed my sweatpants I grabbed grabbed a hoodie I grabbed my keys to the door and I ran outside to my car because I'm like I have to go I'm gonna have to get in my car to chase this dog to like get it

because no I didn't see any people outside like no one was um it didn't look like anyone was like running trying to like find their dog it was weird and no one was outside like I was like oh my god am I the only person that's seeing this other other than the people in their cars so yeah my initial reaction was like go save this dog's life like go catch this dog so anyways when I got outside to like go to my car I saw my neighbor coming down the street and um she was also looking at the dog and her dog was on the leash and she's like I was like do you know I was like yelling at her about the dog and she's like um oh they got him they got him so like by the time I like ran downstairs like I guess someone had all the cars had stopped and the owner somehow got got him back

but that was so traumatized or like well I've been traumatized by this because um by like dogs running in the street and like dogs getting hit by cars and animals dying in general like growing up on a farm like what's your i have so many forms of not to talk about my trauma like my childhood trauma but like literally watching animals die in horrific ways like pets of mine was very traumatizing growing up like like i saw a lot of death um i i've talked about maria on this podcast before uh usually it's like my cinco de mayo episode because she was born on to go to mile and like literally she lived three months because one time I was coming home from basketball practice like spring basketball practice and it was like 7 p.m or it was like

late at night it was like dark and maybe it was later than that it's a springtime anyways um this big farm truck in front of me like I'm driving home this farm truck in front of me stops right in front of our house gets out of his driver goes opens his driver's side door gets out of his truck walks around the front of the truck grabs my goat maria my little pygmy goat by the feet hangs her upside down you know throws her throws her into the fucking lawn gets in his truck and just keeps it moving because that's what you do out on the farm okay you just hit it you hit a chicken on the on the on the street you hit a cat on the street you hit a goat you hit a cat like whatever you just cried my eyes out that was the most one of the hardest

things to witness like she was out cold like her whole body like the way he hit her i mean her eyes were like bleeding her nose everything was like bloody but like just stiff as a board so also jimmy my golden retriever the day i got him like two hours before i got him okay in my old apartment that we like to call the flea bag here um the flea bag like the way cory like why did he call the flea bag like i think he just like because it's like an it was like an older apartment or something like i don't know he always like joked about the flea bag because it was kind of like old and grimy i lived there for three years anyways that old apartment the day I got Jimmy two hours before I am I'm on a zoom

meeting and I all of a sudden I had like you know tell the people on the meeting I was like hey I gotta go something someone's dying outside like I was like oh my god something horrible just happened all I hear is like a woman in the street wailing like a the most visceral cry like the most like gut like from the soul kind of cry in my street and I lived on a pretty quiet street and all I see is her holding a little Yorkie a dead Yorkie in her hand that had just gone hit because I lived on this on the top of the hill where there was like a blind spot just got hit by a car she's screaming in the street everyone's like coming out of their house and she walks up to the guy who he like pulled his car and stopped it and put the hazard lights on walks over to the

guy who hit her Yorkie and is like crying and she just sets it down right in front of him by his feet and then I got I got like two hours later I go pick up my my puppy so like I've seen not only have I seen a lot of death growing up from like living on a farm but um and just like sad ways animals die like like baby calves always dying and always being dead just like laying out because they didn't make it through birth and like I lived by dairy farms and shit so my initial reaction back to this little dog was like oh my god like this is gonna he's gonna get hit like I gotta go save him and that moment it was like those are the moments honestly like make you feel like so alive and just so like in it like in the moment so um yeah so that's the story about the dog um

the lightning storm last night i mentioned that jimmy was traumatized by that okay we kind of talked about it it was random like i know it's december but it was weird to see like a lightning or like the level of lightning there was and like thunder it was so intense like it was like flash bang flash bang flash bang so um this is like so rookie right now but like am i still recording there's always a point in the podcast that should be like if I ever sell merch it should be like am I recording am I recording just got to double check um yeah it was random like the lightning and thunder it was like right on top of us and it was my heart was fluttering like I don't do well with thunder and lightning um I never did when I was a kid like our power would always go

out it was always scary the Dyson delivery story is this a time where I talk about the Dyson air wrap delivery first of all it's I don't know if this is like messed up to admit or like to say but like I kind of wish I didn't buy it for myself I wish someone else bought it for me like I know I have this I said I have this like pull to it I'm like so excited to have the Dyson Airwrap like this is like the Rolls Royce of hair tools like everyone every girl wants this every girl wants her boyfriend or fiance or husband to buy her this for Christmas and I have it now and I own it and it's like I own this like it's so nice like I did my hair with it like what like it's here and it's just it's in my bathroom all the time like what so I was telling Corey I'm like

I'm like I'm all giddy about it but I'm like it's not the kind of giddiness you have when someone gives you a gift and you didn't it's like someone gave it to you and you're using it like like the feeling I I've never had someone like buy me a brand new car and give me a car but I bet it's like that where you're like I guess it's like getting an engagement ring like you know they pick that out for you and it's like so special because they thought of you like I I feel good about I told a story last week so like go to the last go to episode 358 but like I'm like I know I deserve this I know I can buy this like I should get it for myself I want this this is basically free if you girl math it because if you do your hair every day and it's

$500 then there's 500 days you're gonna do your hair like you're gonna use it every day so it's basically free so like you know um but yeah it's a weird thing where I'm like it doesn't have that same vibe and feel when as like as if like like if someone else bought it for me so yeah um but the delivery story okay I am so conditioned to because of Amazon and just the nature of how things are in the world now like I'm so conditioned or for instant gratification or whatever like I'm so used to buying something and it comes in a couple days right so when I ordered the Dyson I had the option to pick out the delivery day and it was free delivery and it was like okay what day do you want it I ordered it on a Friday it was a Friday morning in the sauna

and the delivery I could I could choose was the next day or like Sunday or like the next week so of course I picked the next day I'm like oh my god it can come tomorrow great so like long story short um it was Saturday I think we were golfing or I don't know I think we were golfing at the time and I was so excited like I was anticipating after we come home from golf I'm like oh my god my Dyson's gonna be here and we live in a place with a gate with a code and so and it's never been an issue for anyone to deliver to our house like it's they always like they'll leave it outside or they'll call you a lot of times they call you because they they're like what's the code and so it's never been an issue but I got a notification from my shop app that

was like delivery attempted you know gate code so I'm just immediately like crushed but then I was thinking about I'm like who am I to think that this should just come the next day like that's I was like oh my god I feel like so disgusting like of course like I'm such a gluttonous like entitled American or just like it's like such a first world problem like you buy your Dyson Air app and you expect it the next day and like your soul's crushed because it didn't show up and you're so like, just sad. Like I was literally like so sad. I was like, I was so excited about it. So anyways, I was like, okay, I'll get over this. But like, it took me a while and I was trying to like distract myself. Cause like, I really wanted it. I was like, so I was obsessing

about it. Like I told you on the last episode, I was like literally obsessing about this Dyson air app. So, um, anyways, I, the next day was Sunday and that's when I baked the Christmas cookies and literally I was like okay I'm gonna run to the grocery store early because it's gonna come today because it said like it was like delivery scheduled tomorrow or whatever like it was gonna reattempt the delivery so I was like okay I'm literally gonna stay inside all day Sunday and bake Christmas cookies like I did so that I'm here in case they come and you know they don't know the code I'll be here so I'll see them drive up and everything and I was like it's like okay I'm gonna I'm not gonna miss this so what was it this time baking the cookies

did we go over to Corey's parents house or something no we were there all day I just think it didn't deliver on Sunday I think I thought it was going to I think it meant the next business day anyways so fail on saturday sunday it didn't come monday okay i think it came tuesday i think it finally took until tuesday monday monday out for delivery out for delivery okay i don't know it was like 12 o'clock yeah it was it was 12 o'clock i remember this well it was it was noon okay all morning it says out for delivery all morning i'm refreshing my shop app to see like the tracking and everything and it's like out for delivery I'm refreshing it to see like if it's delivered or if they're like attempting or like whatever

anything any notifications right so it was literally 1201 I'm in the bathroom going pee like nothing crazy for two seconds you know I'm working here and I'm in the bathroom so I literally sit down to pee and I check the app and it said delivery attempted gate code I sprint out of the bathroom and i'm like no i'm gonna chase this fucking guy down because like i want my dyson air wrap and he's gone like no one's there no one's home the gate's shut obviously like i missed it again and at this point i'm angry like i'm like why aren't they calling me like why don't they like why aren't they trying to like get a hold of me instead of just driving away like you know so then i'm like looking on the dyson customer service and then i'm looking at this

it's called like GLS not to like rat them out or like talk shit like it's called GLS tracking or delivery I don't know um it's more of like a boutique delivery service it's not like your UPS USPS Amazon kind of delivery it's like a small one um so I'm just going I'm going nuts I'm like who can I talk to who can I call who can I text to like get this thing turned around so you can come back and deliver it so then i just gave up i called cory and i'm like i don't think it's meant to be i'm not supposed to have this dyson air app like i this was an impulse purchase this was stupid i'm over i just got to the point where i'm like i'm fucking over it i'm like i'm not i don't care like i'm just f it okay i'll keep my stupid revlon blow out blow dryer

thing that's completely crumbled and broken um not keeping that piece of shit thermal brush that everyone's buying right now because it's definitely worse than the Revlon so anyways the next day it's Tuesday I'm making signage okay I'm making signage I'm opening that gate on the hour every hour throughout the day I'm watching the gate like a hawk making sure if any of my neighbors shut it I go downstairs immediately and I open it back up okay I've got sticky notes on my door on the gate on the mailbox anywhere this guy might go with my Dyson Airwrap I'm labeling it and I'm saying I literally was like do not leave please call my number um like what I don't know what else I wrote Corey was giving me shit he's like because I told him I'm like I'm gonna make

sticky notes and like right he's like oh it's gonna be so fun to watch you like write these out and then like mess up and like crumple them up and like have to like rewrite them and I'm like how do you know like you know me like too well because like literally if I ever write a card any card I ever write like I'm always doing a little rough draft on the side like on a little separate piece of paper I don't know I feel like everyone does that or I have a I have a very embarrassing story about writing a mushy text to one of my exes um I was on a shared note on the notes app with him and his friends for a trip we were gonna do and literally i'm like girls do this i don't give a fuck like every girl has done this like i know

i'm not alone i don't care i was like writing out what i wanted to say i was like trying to collect my thoughts and then get it out um it's like why not just write it on the texting app or on like i'm like i don't know anyways this was getting seen by his friends as i'm writing it because like the note was updating anyways and he like texted me he's like what are you doing he's like like I don't remember what it was it was just it was kind of embarrassing um you know what I just tell myself now whenever this is like my is this like super this might not be like a healthy approach because you don't want to do things that are hurting people obviously like this applies to like being embarrassed feeling ashamed feeling nervous anything like that like just tell yourself

like i know it's the whole like 2020 tiktok be the main character main character energy it's but like literally not it's almost like nothing is embarrassed things are only embarrassing if you let them be embarrassing or if you allow them to be like it's really not you know what i mean it's just how you think about it like you literally just have to be so like like who gives a fuck like in the grand scheme of things are like this is nothing i don't know how to explain it like like it's your world everyone else is living in it and so if they read that mushy text you meant to send to your boyfriend on the group chat no like that's a fun story and like oh that's kind of embarrassing for

her like oh that's a weird weird thing i saw and they feel weird and it's like who cares like whatever like just I always always keep the or I always yeah have the mindset of like just keep it moving keep it moving life goes on it's not that big of a deal um so yeah sticky notes everywhere long story short I get the Dyson delivered that day I had opened the gate a million times because my neighbors kept shutting it and they obviously want it to be secure because because they're they don't want people to like break into their places here so um anyways the guy like I it was like a random van like it wasn't even labeled and I see this guy get out the back with like a box that's like kind of the shape of the Dyson Airwrap and I was like it looks kind of

like a shoebox but like I feel like the Dyson's bigger than that blah blah I'm like I sprint down there he's like yeah I tried to come Saturday and I tried to come on Monday and like I'm like oh my I don't care just give it to me like ran in the bathroom like unboxed it like started using it immediately and I was so excited so that's the Dyson delivery story um Christmas cookies Dyson delivery the lightning storm um the dog running down the street the Seahawks versus Eagles game just want everyone right now to bow their head and join me in a moment of silence for the philadelphia eagles and yeah didn't Jalen Hurts say his team's just not committed enough or something wasn't that the

quote after the game I kept seeing that on like ESPN did he really say that about his team Jalen Hurts like literally that game was so fucking amazing team not committed enough enter i don't think we all are we're committed enough hurt said after the game a few days later the eagles 25 year old franchise quarterback was asked to clarify those comments jalen hurts clarifies this is sports illustrated vague answer about eagles not being committed after raising eyebrows following the eagles week 15 loss star quarterback jalen hurts attempted to clear the air thursday regarding his post-game criticism of the team hertz made headlines in the aftermath of monday night football when the quarterback questioned if the eagles were

committed enough after falling 20 to 17 to the seahawks making the club's third loss in club's third loss in as many weeks he said to well he clarified and said his vague response was more aimed at himself rather than his teammates blah blah blah I don't know like the Eagles are great don't get me wrong like they're not they're a great team but they weren't good enough to beat the Seahawks on Sunday or on Monday and like literally it was one of those games where I'm like we just played our hearts out if you're not familiar I'm a big Seahawks fan I'm from Washington okay go Seahawks like that's just where it's at um yeah we just played I remember there was like a minute left and I was

like however this ends like we can feel good walking away because I feel like we really played our hearts out and we really tried like it was it was one of those games where you could tell the Seahawks were like really playing with their hearts like it was like one of those like efforts where like they're putting it all put it all out there okay and I played sports my whole life and like that's one of the things like in basketball especially like during basketball games it was like the team that wanted it more it's so cliche and like like literally sometimes it comes down of that and everything was everything that could go right went right the catches DK Metcalf made were like otherworldly like the one he caught it almost looked like an interception like on his

thigh and like rolled around and he like caught it on his back kind of um just yeah those last minute touchdowns we got like or that one um in Jimba JSN I don't know his name John Smith and Jimbo Jackson I don't know JSN as they call him the rookie out of um where did he play Ohio State I believe he's killing it um you know how I feel about Charbonnet yeah we're just I mean honestly I feel like DK needs to go to a better team I think a lot of people people are saying that but like we're just not strong in the um I don't want to talk like I know about football like in the pocket like like I'm just speaking out of my ass right now to be honest like go Seahawks like I feel like our quarterback position is lackluster um and it

could be better and I think that Locke played well like he needed that game I feel like that was kind of a redemption game for him and yeah like there's things we do well and things we don't do well and it's fun when all the pieces come together when we win a game like that especially against the Eagles that were literally 10 and 3 and we were 6 and 7 and 6 7 6 and 6 7 and 7 yeah so that was a lot of fun Monday night watching that is this gonna be an hour episode for real like I'm okay I if you're listening to the audio right now I've been doing this entire episode on my phone and I might just post this to Instagram like the whole video um why not so Seahawks the killer whale pod coming through San Diego yeah the other day I was watching the news

and it was like right on my I don't watch the news I watch the Instagram news like the I follow my local news on Instagram they always post like videos there anyways it was like a killer whale a video of a killer whale punting a dolphin out of the out of the water and everyone's commenting on it or like the caption was like oh friends being friends and I'm like no this fucking whale just paralyzed that dolphin and he's gonna eat it like straight up that's how they do it like I think they they clocked like four dolphin deaths I don't know how they know how many they ate but like, you know, they're fattening, fattening their bellies up before they head North or something. I think they're going back home to, uh, the PN dub so that they migrate. Um,

maybe I should look that up. Uh, uh, whale pod. If you're, if you're not familiar, I like all the Pacific Northwest animals the most are like, like my favorite animals are bears. okay no where should I start I love bald eagles because growing up they'd like be in our trees at my house perched on the top of our trees bald eagles killer whales grizzly bears I know that's kind of insane right like grizzly bears yeah I just feel like what other animals wolves wolves are the shit they just released wolves in colorado i don't know if you guys saw that and people are like what about the what about the farmers and their livestock and i don't know it's good for the uh for controlling the population of like elk and

shit and then in the grand scheme of things they're not going to like completely kill out kill off all of the elk all of the prey animals like that's not feasible five wolves I guess they're gonna release like 30 to 50 in the next few months which is crazy like 50 wolves in Colorado like that why does that just seem like way too many like I understand five but like 50 wolves yeah I don't know um whale pod SD whale pod SD there's also a 50 52 foot killer whale or or uh ew that was a gross fart noise there's a 52 foot whale that washed up a couple weeks ago on the beach and i was thinking about i'm like it was dead already and then it washed up on the beach it's not like it washed up on

the beach and people are trying to like pour water on it keep it alive and like let it go back out to see I'm like how would it have gotten on the shore in the first place like my brain was confused like I didn't read the article I just saw the picture and I'm like how does this happen and then I realize it's literally dead and it's probably full of gas I think what's that movie where they're full of gas when they die and it explodes avatar no like wasn't there a movie with a whale that like i don't know okay so what's this pod called this isn't very descriptive yeah i don't know there's like how many killer whales a pot of yeah off of tory pines

a pot of killer whales was spotted off the coast of tory pines by whale watching groups monday um oh they reappeared again on tuesday cool so we knew that there had been killer whales around but specifically eastern tropical pacific killer whales they actually live south of san diego oh that's interesting so because we know they had been spotted off los angeles earlier let me reading like a robot so because we i think it's because i'm on camera and i get stage fright sometimes when I read when I'm not on camera I read flawlessly uh who you know that meme it's like such a millennial meme that's like who remembers reading the paragraph ahead before the teacher called on you like everyone would have to read a paragraph in class in like elementary school or

whatever and you would like count how many paragraphs you had until it was you and then you'd study that paragraph all the words you make sure you have it all tight you're like mumbling under your breath before you're called on meanwhile you have no clue what anyone else read and you're not comprehending anything but you're like ready to perform and then when you're called to read it was like stomach drops stage fright like holy shit it's my turn and it just is so those are the moments that really shape you as a kid like you need those uncomfortable moments just like i need this uncomfortable uncomfortable moment with you right now stumbling as I read this um paragraph about killer whales in San Diego uh because I

consumed four Christmas cookies before this episode and I have brain fog you know what didn't happen on this episode to be honest like I didn't trail off and like get lost I honestly like I feel pretty dialed in right now I was just grabbing my fupa if you can't see on camera it's a little lower nothing cuter than a christmas fupa for your podcast audience to watch you grab um i don't even know what i can joke about anymore like literally i know everyone every like comedian says that it's like just be funny like that's the whole thing if you're gonna have to ask if something's funny or like if you have to second guess yourself about if something's funny like that then it's not funny or like if you're but

it is kind of like a logical question or like a a reasonable question to ask now like because of how stupid and delusional things are it's like what's even allowed or funny or what do people not think things that you would think people think are funny they don't think are funny anymore which is so weird um because they've been so like brainwashed and their minds have been so distorted and warped and I don't know. So anyways, this is a Eastern tropical Pacific killer whale pod. Um, yeah, it was cute to see the dolphins jumping around, but like not cute. Cause you know they were getting eaten oh hit a wall officially hitting a wall uh Louie's second birthday was yesterday our Louie our bulldog our English bulldog and I had a thought because last

night he was trying to the sun's like totally in the way now I had a thought last night because he was trying to curl up with me on the bed and I realized that like Louie has one facial expression and one cadence like one like he it doesn't matter if he's happy sad excited tired one facial expression it just his face his bulldog face like always kind of looks the same just so like dumpy and like droopy and like like grandpa-y I don't know and he's so fucking cute and then like ugly cute in the best way um and then his cadence like he's trying to cuddle with me on the bed and he's just so slow and like awkward like jimmy when jimmy tries to cuddle with me on the bed like he curls up he like sees the shape of my body on the bed and

he's like okay how can i warp my golden retriever body against her human body so that we can like spoon and mesh together as one that's what goes through jimmy's mind louis sees me wants to be cuddly with me and like puts his paw like on my chest and then like puts his arm against my neck and like turns his butt into my head and like sits kind of on the pillow and just like wedges his body weird and then he'll like move and I'll just walk on my chest walk on my stomach now he's like on top of me and now I'm super uncomfortable and then he just kind of like flops around he just he has such a sluggish cadence like such a clunky dumpy we call him Mr. Dumps like he's just so dumpy but I thought about that like one facial expression one like one rhythm unless he's going

after a ball because then he's going 200 miles an hour and it's like full psychotic mode um but yeah it was his second birthday yesterday and happy birthday louie cool um who are 54 minutes this is gonna be a perfect episode a perfect one hour episode uh i didn't talk about working on a christmas tree farm growing up but my grandparents had a Christmas tree farm when I grew up and this was always a really sweet time year because we got to hang out on the Christmas tree farm they always had like a shit ton of like animals like bunnies peacocks chickens turkeys llamas ducks cows what like everything they just they had like this guy they knew his name was Vern and R.I.P. I think he died anyways

yeah he had all these animals and they'd like my grandpa had his own animals and then he'd go to Vern and like get more animals to bring to the Christmas tree farm and it was just such a vibe like every year was such a good feeling like pre-Christmas tree farm season we're like helping him out like prepping it getting all the rows mowed like that was one of my jobs growing up like I would get on the lawnmower and like mow in between the rows of Christmas trees like all summer long like all year long like we'd help them out with that my grandma would like trim the trees so they were nice shapes um we'd make wreaths we would it was fun like I'd literally at a certain point when I got like big enough and strong enough I

would literally cut people's Christmas trees down with a handsaw I'd have my sneak my because it was always like rainy in Washington I'd have my ski pants on my like raincoat and I'd go out there with a John Deere um my grandpa had like 15 lawnmowers at this Christmas tree farm to like haul the trees around in so it was a lawnmower with a wagon on it and I get in my little wagon or my little lawnmower wagon wagon thing oh my god and yeah I'd like follow I'd drive around the little um paths because paths paths trails around the Christmas tree farm and I'd see people and they're like okay you know we're ready we want this tree and then I'd like go and walk with my saw and like cut the tree down and they push on it so that's a trick you have to like push against

the tree while someone's cutting it to help lift up the stump so yeah it was just so much fun like you know he had a little shed with a heater because it's always super cold and we'd like go in there and warm up and he always had those little satsumas those little like mini oranges in there and like snacks you know like veggie trays there's always a veggie tray a meat and cheese tray from safeway and like donuts um burger king lunchtime would always be whoppers from burger king or like this burger joint called the net he'd always get his burgers from there and like yeah it was just so cool and my grandparents had a house there so like it was kind of nice to like decompress like go into their house like chill for a bit maybe like take a nap or I don't know like

just hang in their house for a little bit before you went back to work so um they had that thing most of my life like I literally grew up on it until I was they sold their house and sold the farm when I was in like high school so yeah it was a super sweet time that was like one of my favorite that's why Christmas like growing up was so sweet I think it's because their Christmas tree farm was so like whimsical and like special and like it had a smell to it and like like the whole community would get their tree there so you'd see people from school come with their their parents and like you'd see your teachers come by and like everyone went to their Christmas tree farm and it was just such a

fun yeah it was such a fun family thing like my cousins would help out there and work there my aunts and uncles would help out my parents like it's like a family affair so um yeah I mean could I end the episode here I were at 58 minutes on my phone or do I want to bitch and rant about something that I'm like that's like so like me and so like obvious and like of course you're going to complain about this and make a thing about this but like I'm like officially like 10 out of 10 like what's going on we gotta we gotta stop as a society and I hesitate to talk about this because I'm like and I'm making this like so dramatic you know

it's gonna cut off on Instagram so maybe if you want to see the end of this episode if you're hi, if you're watching this on Instagram, go to the audio version on Apple or Spotify to figure out the rest of the story or to find out what I'm going to say. Okay. Special, uh, this is for the special people that are still here on the audio version of this. I don't know. The last thing I wrote on my note today was I almost want to like name drop just so people know exactly who I'm talking about but it's like you've all seen it so it's like you could probably like figure it out it's like the reason I'm like hesitant to to bring this up is because it's like you know who am I to say how

people should live their lives right like I always talk about this and like why do I care and like I feel like annoying even commenting on this but I'm noticing how okay people influencers fine i'll just say influencers are it's like it's as if okay they're living a lifestyle because they're living there would they be living they would not be living the life they're living obviously they're they wouldn't because of their brand deals and their access to the opportunities and the trips and the things they do like they wouldn't be living that life without those kinds of connections and those kinds of deals and things and so but what's annoying is it's like

everyone right now is like cosplaying because it's like winter time they're like I'm in Paris I'm in New York I'm in wherever like somewhere in Europe or I don't know they're in Aspen and they're like everyone's just like posting these super glamorous luxurious like fancy fancy schmancy like look at my beautiful 42 cocktails and my beautiful outfits and my furs and my chanel bags like i and i'm not sitting here being like a hater because like oh it's a luxury lifestyle and i i can't stand when people post and flex how fucking wealthy they are it's not about that like because don't get me wrong i'm the first one to admit i like nice shit i like fancy things i like aesthetically pleasing things i like dyson air wrap over a fucking revlon blowout hair thing

that sucks but it's just what i don't what's what annoys me and irks me and i'm like and maybe it's like people's art right like they love putting on the outfits and working with the brands and and going on a trip and putting on all the outfits and taking pictures in them in cool places and like sitting at a little cafe and crossing their legs and eating croissant and then doing a video about like how they did their makeup that morning and like that's it's like their art it's you know they get to basically live a live and get paid to just like live and travel and buy shit or like get shit for whatever like you know it's cushy and it feels good I don't know but like it's making all it's making people look like a character of themselves and not really

who they actually are if that makes sense because everyone like a lot of these influencers are doing it and it's like copy they're all copying pasting the same um they're all doing the exact same thing living the exact same kind of life going on the exact same trips working i don't know it's just kind of weird i'm like some of these photos i'm like it it's like creepy almost especially when you don't see their face and they're just like walking through Paris or something or walking through New York and Central Park and they're like in this fur coat it's like no one dresses like I know people do but like it's kind of weird like I saw this post it was so accurate like someone was someone was in um Erewhon um in LA or something

and this woman walked in this influencer that everyone knew about she's like into like fashion and shit she walked in with like black leather boots on this like pea coat and just like such a such a over the top for like a sunday at 10 30 a.m outfit i don't know it's not like she just came from church she just came from taking an instagram picture in the street because she wanted to post this like fall outfit probably i don't know and everyone else is just in like yoga pants and like you know it's like chill relaxed vibes like not and the comment the person me was like this a lot of people it's like they're it's like they're dressing up they're acting out this lifestyle it's like you don't actually like that's not actually your you or like that's not what you

would do if there wasn't some sort of brand deal I don't know it's just weird because it makes you realize that literally everything you see on Instagram is fake people are doing things because it's um this is so like obvious like everyone's and I always find myself saying things where I'm like of course I'm saying this again um and I don't know how we as long as brands are paying people to wear their shit eat their food I don't know like drink their drinks post their products review their products as long as that's happening there's going to be levels to it where there's like perfection like the quality of the photos the quality of the everything's going to be like pinterest-y and like perfect you know and that's what I'm seeing and that's what like irks me I'm

just like, um, it's just so phony. It's so phony. And I, and I don't know, like we're in a weird place in society where it's like, um, obviously don't follow it. Don't walk, you know, you don't have to fall. I'm just like, it makes me uncomfortable. And why? And I guess it's because it's like, I see people who are like a shell of themselves because it's just all about consuming shit and being in cool outfits and like taking photos in the cool outfits and I'm like we're still doing this in 2023 can we go into next year where like you're just alive and you're reading books and you're in beautiful relationships and you're like I don't know like putting on nice outfits and you're walking down the street if you want on 10 30 on a Sunday and you're just like

living your life and it's not about the photo it's not about and I know we all say the same shit and i'm doing it again and now i'm ending the episode on a tangent that i honestly didn't really want to go on and now i find myself talking about it but um there should be like a limit i feel like on how long like if you're posting and editing photos for like i don't know if they make their money from doing it they fucking do i'm like i see these perfectly edited curated photos i'm like literally their entire life is that I'm like fucking a I don't know just I feel like it's dystopian and weird and we got to stop and just not be so accessible like are all ever we're just so overly visible now accessible like everyone looks like they're a character of who they really

are because they have a profile online and then they look like they're acting out the character and they're not really that person because 50 other people look exactly like them online and they just look like they're copying that other person and it's just like weird and everyone's kind of blending into the same thing and they have no personality they have no they're only dreams they're not doing anything good for society other than like plugging products and taking photos and like furthering that that's what I that's what I've said about influencers from the start and there's an episode I don't remember which one it was but I'm like look if you have a fashion company if you're like a it's like literally all they plug is like the fast

fashion shit so like like this isn't someone's real dream but like if you're um yeah if you have a clothing company and you're trying and that's your dream and you want to sell clothes and you want to sell women's clothes and you're like you know it's 2023 and I want to get my products out they're in front of the masses and I want people to wear them blah blah it's like of course you're going to hit up influencers and you're going to have them do hauls and take photos in them and tag you and like promote you and blah blah of course you're going to do that and then in turn it's like girls get free clothes they grow their accounts because you're reposting them and more people see who they are and they're they have good style and blah blah so it's like this win-win

thing but it's like influencers are literally on like the front lines keeping someone else's dream alive at this point. Cause that's like the way these brands get exposure and make their money. It's through influencer marketing. Like I know it's changing a lot. I know things are changing a lot, but, um, in that world, but it's kind of sick because then it's like these influencers are just like, it's not good for them. Like, I really don't, it's like not, I think what it is, it's like people need heart it's every like me getting the Dyson Airwrap it's like too easy it's like I press go I buy it and I want it the next day it's just two these influencers with their PR packages everything is just cheap and easy and fast and the money's flowing and it's like

you get the followers you get the light you get the fame you get the status you get the trips you get the lavish lifestyle it's like who wouldn't want that right so it's kind of this double-edged sword like but it's gross and it looks gross and it's like there's just no substance underneath at all like if you have it just it's so it's like a house of cards I don't know like I don't know where I'm going with this do I need to end the episode I think my last one was an hour 47 do you think I can go on for another like 30 minutes on this topic or are you exhausted like I am yeah, I don't know. I'm just like, I don't know how the future looks as far as influencing and Instagram influencers and like TikTok, you know, and YouTubers and blah, blah,

but from my, in my life, I've seen this wave of viral YouTube videos where it was like, charlie bit my finger and candy mountain charlotte what was that other one the the leo pluridons what was the fucking uh marcel the shell like all these viral oh and the um what was her face jenna marbles days like the early shane dawson days like you know i saw that and that was youtube and then i saw how that evolved and obviously with vine and the Paul brothers and like you know the YouTube vlogging and the short jerky movements with the camera and the fast editing you know that style like that came around and then there's always been beauty influencing and beauty makeup vloggers and beauty gurus because people love faces that

they love looking at beauty they love products they love makeup like obviously girls are so into that's always going to be a thing the food block you know the food the makeup like that's always been around it's just kind of evolved and then there's new channels like Instagram and TikTok and Snapchat and there's like you know this web growing of social media and then now we're at this point where where does it go from here because I kind of feel like there's like what's the cap I feel like we're at and I always question myself I'm like is this just maturity and getting older and realizing what's important in life and not being and and being more busy and having more responsibilities and like just watching influencers all day on your phone and on your tv like are you

just maturing and is that why you're having this like change this brain switch or are you looking at society as a whole and saying like um i think this is like what the masses are starting to say too and like they're but and i and i think that's what it is i do think there's like this overarching disgust and the overconsumption i've talked about that before and like um disgust and how phony and um just brain numbing and it is towards like these influencers you know it's just like there's it's like a it's like a hamster wheel it's like watch a video they're living their lifestyle they're buying shit they're doing a haul they're plugging a product repeat repeat repeat it's like it's not very in my opinion it's not very aspirational anymore

it's kind of sad like there's this couple I follow and it's gotten so bad recently where like every video any because I follow on Instagram you can probably figure out who this is every time I go to their profile I'm like I'm watching a QVC ad for some it's like a and I'm like this is not this used to be like having the big house and the the nice things and the brand deals and the you know big followings on your YouTube channel and the Instagram it used to be like aspirational now I think it's kind of it's like been played out and it's kind of sad or not sad it's just kind of like there's I don't know I just feel like it's not as sparkly as it used to be so and I and I and another reason why I'm even bringing this up is because I used to be a kid

when I was younger early 20s you know I used to think like oh that's what I want to do I want to do like YouTube vlogging thing want to be an influencer I want to do like content and here I am fucking making a podcast so like of course I'm still doing it right like don't get me wrong but um yeah just the more time goes on the more I watch people I'm like this is just really there's this is not good for society and the amount of times I've been suckered in and influenced to buy something I don't need and out of like impulse and just like um me getting the Dyson Airwrap the day after I saw like thought about it thought about buying it like for the first time no I'm kidding but like um yeah in this economy like we need people to like keep it real and like be more

grounded and just humble pie not flashy and just like realistic like i and i and i think it's you know another another thing about these copy and paste influencers where everything is aesthetically beautiful and perfect because they you know they want to keep brands attention and make sure they're getting their checks every month and their deals and their new products because if if you're an influencer and you're sent something for free and they're like hey take a picture in this and post it and you take a shitty photo it's like you want to it's like you're working for that brand you want them to like your content you want to show that oh look this beautiful portfolio look at my instagram it's gorgeous you know so of course they're going to keep up that appearance right

but it's very rare to see them be self-aware and be like I know this looks fake as shit I know this is like a lot I know I get all these packages and it's like holy shit like no one's real like that it's very rare to find an influencer that's real like that where they're like you know I wish they would just be like honest about it and more like transparent and more like because they make it look as if oh this is just my life and this is just how everything is and I know there's a social hierarchy a social media hierarchy there's this like one-upping thing there's like this climbing the ladder thing there's this and you kind of like you don't want to tell people your moves you don't want to be like too um yeah transparent

and authentic or in real but which is weird and I think that in the business on on the business side of things I think that exists more than like okay what your followers really want what your audience actually wants is just being like I don't know it's like it's like it's a difference between like someone commenting on someone's like picture of their croissant in Paris or like their fucking fur coat in Central Park with their I don't even know what I'm saying like it's like they're like slay queen oh my god you're killing it's like slay it's like that's the response to and my response is just like snap the fuck out of it like snap out of it you know what I mean a lot of the times I see people I'm just like cut out this this act stop it who cut it out this

isn't you and I had my brother tell me that before I'll tell I'll tell a story about Vegas with my brother a few years back like he's the first he's the reason why I looked at myself in my social media posting and my consumption and just the way I was portraying myself online and he's the one that made me take a second look and go oh yeah I'm being a fake bitch right now like this isn't really me and I owe him a lot because he did that my brother and my sister are they were key parts of my personal development or whatever like uh personal growth um in my 20s you know they've they were like the catalysts their comments to me that what their their their criticism or critique of me that was hard to take but I knew it was true and I think that's something that I've always

been open to is like there's always when someone criticizes you when someone critiques you when someone you know says something that makes you feel uncomfortable about yourself consider their opinion a little bit at least don't completely like brush it to the side so anyways the whole snap out of it thing right um it's like the fucking facial expressions it's like you're doing a try on haul and you're in your holiday outfits and now it's new year's eve and you're gonna put on your new year's eve dresses and do a little dance and twirl in front of the camera it's like the scrunching of the nose thing now like what are we doing with the scrunching of the nose like i don't understand it's like this new facial expression like it's like everyone's

doing the same facial expressions now it's weird i'm like this isn't there's always a point i'm just gonna take a step back for two seconds like I feel like there's all my part of this podcast if you're like a new listener is there's always a point where I'm gonna bitch about society and critique influencers and comment and and complain about how I don't like how they operate and live their lives and I'm gonna be like super judgmental and then I'm gonna be like um live your life do whatever you want it's not for it's not for me to judge but like I'm still gonna judge you make my and do a commentary on it so like whatever um I just like I I've always said this I'm really I've always been really into human behavior and why people are the way they are and I think when

I used to be a bullshitter and I used to be a phony fake bitch I'm a former phony fake bitch online like I can sniff it out immediately like I sense it and I just know I'm like dude snap out of it like I want to I feel like there's so many people they can go so many influencers in 2024 should snap the fuck out of it there's this chick I finally unfollowed like I did a huge purge a couple months ago and she's been on this journey for the last year I think she was like engaged now she's not you could probably figure out who this is just for me saying that and she's always like posting about her journey and like she's doing all these things it's like her journey her journey her journey her journey the other day she's like I finally told myself that I allowed

myself to say out loud that I'm going through a hard time what are you you're literally so vague and like you're not helping your followers by telling them like I did all these things I journaled when I went to therapy and I told myself that I'm finally allowed myself to tell myself I'm having a hard time like it just it's a whole lot of nothing and I just want to be like snap out of it nothing's wrong with you keep it moving pull your shoulders back keep or pull your pull your head up put your shoulders back and down and like you live a great life you've got it going on like i would tell this to her face like if i feel like fuck your therapist fuck any of your friends that are also fake la trash not trash they're successful i don't know why i said

trash i don't didn't mean to say that just literally rolled off the tongue they're just those they're just all phony like you have been for your adult life because you've been suckered and you've drank all this like social media kool-aid and this la kool-aid and it's like don't listen listen to me like nothing's wrong with you like I just sense this thing where I'm like I just want to like help people and tell them like you're so in your own way because you're just coming up and spiraling about bullshit that doesn't matter and that was my biggest epiphany because I used to be like that like I said I'm a former fake bitch online I'm a former phony like ditzy like dumb I used to be like so much more curated and calculated about how I talked in my posts and I

used to like go on my YouTube blog and be like hi guys today I'm gonna like I literally would like alter my I did all the shit that the influencers do I'll admit it and the number one epiphany I had and I've said this a thousand times on this podcast is that the thinking the spiraling the overthinking the over analyzing myself constantly focusing on myself was ruining my life and that's what like this girl is doing she's just it's all about her life was going great everything's going well and all of a sudden you're going to spiral and decide that oh I need to go on a healing journey about what she doesn't doesn't even have the balls to publicly talk about the journey she's on and say like like if you really want to gain your followers um like

sympathy for you or whatever like i don't know like if you really want to help them take them through what you're going through don't just be like i'm on a journey like what does that even mean like i straight up told you guys i had every single eating disorder since i was 16 i've gone through every single one of them I had depression where I didn't leave my house for two weeks I've literally like I thought I was gonna almost die a few times like I've had like horrible traumatic personal experiences I've laid it all out and I know it's like okay well you're oversharing and you're coming to the internet like you know get people's sympathy I don't know but I'm specific like you can't just like I don't know but back to the influencers

and the posting and all that shit I'm like look snap out of it and the whole like I always say I always remember where I started we're going back to the tangent about Vegas and my brother we were having this moment at like six in the morning after coming back from a Skrillex concert okay and we were having this like brother sister like bonding moment watching the sunrise and I grabbed my phone so I was like oh I want to remember this or like oh this would be like a cool video I don't know I like grabbed my phone I started like I set it up in the kitchen like at our place and like positioned it so to like watch us watching the sunset I don't or sunrise I don't know like it was just something stupid I was like recording us talking something like

had the video going and he like grabbed my phone and threw it he's like he got really emotional and like almost not like he was crying but like his throat was scratchy and I know we were like at a concert and everything but like he was like stop stop this you don't need this this isn't you like cut it out like you know like stop it it was so like visceral like he just it was like his soul was like dude this is like not good for you you need to stop it like documenting every ounce of your life like is at the time like that's how I I was the family member like you know if we're out at dinner like filming everyone eating their dinner and like constantly taking like not not that I don't do that still okay but I have a more I think because I've um moved past being a

phony pink bitch what did I say I'm like on the other side now where like I clearly don't hold anything I'm very it's like I don't know how much more like unedited unfiltered I could be like this podcast is honestly like the greatest thing I ever did because like I literally just this is how it would be if you came over and you're hanging out sitting on the couch with me straight up like there's no sugar coating there's no acting there's no performing it's just like literally this is what it is so now that I'm at this place and I still put myself online like I just feel so much more like balanced with it all I have a healthy relationship with social media now where before it was like I was trying to be somebody or I wanted

to be an influencer youtuber and like yeah so I'm but the name of the game is you can't you you gotta you have to be self-aware you have to know what you look like because most people aren't if you're like a super flashy influencer like doing all your fancy schmancy shit like you have to realize 99% of your audience isn't living like that most of the world isn't and so if you're like out there just pretending like this is your life and like this is how it is and it's really not it's just that way because you have brand deals and your whole life is about performing a lifestyle like call that out on yourself and be open and say that out loud that's what I don't get like if that was me oh my god the way I wish I was like a should I just name drop nah just think of like a

you know um fashion influencer or something or like a blogger or um yeah there's there's i will say this there's a good amount out there that keep it real and shout out to them like we need more of that and i guess that's what i'm critiquing i'm like we need less of the fake more of the real this is so like we've been saying this for years it's just it will never be a hundred percent and it's honestly not my cross to bear like I can sit here and comment and critique it all day long like people are still gonna be fake and phony because it looks good on Instagram like that will never change straight up so live and let live do whatever you want I'm still gonna judge you um that's what we do here on the Jacqueline Monroe show because I

have what is that uh what does that stem from like trying to think like in social settings i do like because i'm in the comfort of my own home it yeah like i i don't i'm not abrasive i'm not um what's the word like i don't stir the pot in conversations like don't get me wrong like i'll chime in and i'll say something that the group doesn't necessarily agree with sometimes and I'll offer a different perspective but I'm not um I think on this show I might come across like oh I'm always bitching and complaining and moaning about society and it's like oh she's probably such a what a pleasure to be with you know it's like oh she seems like a fun person to hang with she just constantly it's

like it's a release obviously I'm sitting in the comfort of my own home I'm thinking about the world around me and I'm analyzing it in my head and I'm coming up these conclusions and ideas and I'm sharing them publicly like um but yeah in a in a group setting you know out on the street I'm not bitching I'm not like you know what I mean like I'm not like you're like taking a selfie in a store I'm not going to go up to you and be like this isn't you like snap out of it like you're a fake bitch like obviously not like again I'll be the first to admit I'm a basic bitch I like all the basic bitch shit I like a selfie just as much as anyone else I like nice things I like you know it's just um

i think the world needs to go from it we're such a self and self-obsessed self-indulgent society where it's all about bettering ourselves and this is such a like millennial thing especially like the well like health and wellness it's all about put me put yourself first and make sure put your mask on before you help anyone else it's like okay that's all good and well but i think more people need to go outward and to like get outside of themselves get outside of their heads be of service like literally like go volunteer at a homeless shelter this christmas or like go and i'm always thinking of like why don't i do this like i think like i'll say it on the pot it's like i should walk the walk right like go help go have a kid fuck it you know what the

best thing anyone could do any okay like I know that sounds that's probably not the best advice but like I think that's a that's a kind of life change I feel like a lot of people need where they finally have something where it's not about them anymore their life is centered around their kid and and like keeping that little thing alive and raising it into a good human and it's like their priority switches from like you know I gotta keep myself going and keep myself happy and keep my life going and it's like it switches from that immediately overnight once you have a baby to like this little human being that you're raising and your life is more centered pretty much your whole life is centered around them while you're raising them and I think that'd be I think that's good

for society I think we need more of that um yeah just more getting out people getting outside of their own selfish minds and into the world and helping it there's just so many it's if you really think about there are so many ways to be of service but like like literally it's like people punch a clock they work their nine to five they come home they watch Netflix they go to bed it's like they do it all over again their service is like I you know typed a few emails and helped this company I work for you know I made dinner for my family okay but it's like there's I don't know there I think there's just more to life there's more we got to like get creative I don't know in 2024 we're gonna fall in the footsteps of Scooter Braun's old Instagram bio I don't know if

it still is bio I'll never forget like I don't I think I followed him back in the day on Instagram was like his bio was always like you don't know how to live if you don't know how to give and that's that on that like that's literally it and like it feels good I always think of what really feels the most fulfilling in life and what makes you like like if I save that dog's life okay if I was the one to grab it on the side of the street right as a car was about to hit it like that feeling there's nothing tops out in life we need to get closer to those things we need to connect our our lifestyles need to have more acts of service in them towards outside beings other people our our communities

like literally you know um i was at dinner the other night cory's sister and her husband are in town and i i was like you know people just don't care about their communities anymore or seems like that's a general statement but like i was thinking about how if if you live like i live in san diego if my if the only information if the only news i had access to was san diego news and that's all i was exposed to like this is a hypothetical obviously like this is not real life but hypothetically if that's all the news i was exposed to and i only knew about what

was going on in San Diego I would probably give a give a shit about my community and care more and be more involved and more aware of what's going on and what needs to be improved and what things you know where the areas of opportunities are and like all that shit like if kids like especially if you think about like high schoolers now their iPhones and like college students it's like they live in their community where they grow up but they're on their phone watching these you know torture Hamas videos and like they're on their phones watching news about other parts of the world and they're like the and these are problems they can never solve and will never solve and they're so out of their communities because they're consuming news like I said on

the other side of the world and everywhere but their home and it's like how can we get these kids plugged in and more aware of what's around them because I think that's how we rebuild America am i a politician right now like literally i think we need people to care more about their immediate communities and be more involved and people need to know each other and kids need to care about like what's happening around them you know and i'd also like to talk about urban planning and how fucked it is because we're buying a home and i'm sick and tired of these community structures and how they're laid out and i fucking want to move to europe like literally that's another topic for another time maybe but like the united states does not build cities based on like

here's a perfect neighborhood you have a you have homes you have a school you have uh maybe like a church cafes places to eat parks a movie theater i don't know like you have like the main pillars of like what a little neighborhood needs the united states doesn't do that so in europe they do that and they copy and paste out everywhere so everywhere you go you're like milling around walking around little cities and it's like there's you have endless access to everything or what's the word like you can wander through European cities and access everything you need in a small amount of yeah in a small amount of space if that makes sense like think little um neighborhoods in like Italy or like Barcelona or you know I'm thinking

of places I've been where I've definitely noticed that there's like a plaza you know there's a school the library the homes people live in the restaurants everything's like central to that neighborhood and it's accessible from that neighborhood where in the United States what we do is we say okay all the homes go here all the stores go here all the schools go here all the library it's like everything's like patchwork and so in order to go from in order to get to the library you can't walk to the library you have to like get in your car and drive to the library across the city or like go to the grocery store like it's all far away it's you have to get in the car and i just feel like one of the things that's been a challenge is like when we're

looking at houses it's like this is a two-hour episode um cory called me again um is now because of you know future the future with kids and being at home a lot and you know wanting to raise kids in a nice neighborhood it's like I'm looking around I'm like it's more and more important to me to find a neighborhood that's got access to all of those things I mentioned or like kid-friendly things like parks like um yeah like a school a library like so I can pick out books with them and like you know that kind of shit where it's like around not like i live in because a lot of the places you live around san diego it's like you're in the suburbs there's nothing to do around it other than walk around the sidewalks um and stare at your

neighbors as you walk like literally it's like sidewalks and houses everywhere you get your car if you want to go somewhere and then lug your kids in the car to go to the library you can't like walk to it you know that kind of it's just so different and I'm I'm like romanticizing Europe obviously and I'm thinking like how much better it is and blah blah blah blah like don't get me wrong we have there's great things about California obviously too um but yeah this is like a weird end of the episode but um how did I go I don't even know what I was talking about oh it was the whole like getting people to care more about their communities because that's where they are more likely to make an impact and make a change than what's happening across the world

and that's such a huge thing now like everyone's yeah they they hyper focus on these big events that are not even close to home and i get it like it's because they're alarming and they're crazy and they're unbelievable and you're like holy shit this is so wrong and you care because you're and you're like people shouldn't be treated this way and it's like literally across the world you're like oh my god like you know but i just think of like the homeless problem in california like it could be solved it could be solved it should be so it's like or drastically improved but i feel like more people need to care about it or something like we can't expect these politicians to come in and just like change it all overnight and like be the ones to like come up with that

solution I feel like more people need to like put their heads together and their communities and like think I don't know like people just need to care more but it's all about now it's like you work your job you pay your expensive bills you buy your expensive food you watch your expensive expensive subscription channels and your netflix you know you take a trip here and there i don't know it's just very like routine and like this is the most people and it's just people are exhausted they're burnt out they're they're just not it's hard it's hard to get into it's hard it's hard to be inspired in these times but and that is why

AI is coming okay AI is coming if you want to do anything for your future figure out figure out something with AI I don't know what to tell you like if you want to get inspired or if you want to re-invoke or re-ignite your spark and your inspiration to live and to have a great future like go read some ai books and like figure out something with ai and like go invent a new service or product i don't know like yeah it's just a very that's a thing like everything feels so delusional now and i and i've always said this like i kind of don't i don't even know and i i told this to cory i think last night i said i think it's now more important than ever to maintain a sense of normalcy to return to those basic traditions that our parents grew up with and

our grandparents like return more to that because there's a blueprint for it that works and it's stable and it's comforting and if you can focus on that that kind of like normalcy I know it might be like oh boring there's more to life but it'll keep you grounded in these like delusional crazy times where everything just makes zero sense like I don't even know sometimes I'm like I don't even know how to articulate the what I'm seeing in the world around me it just doesn't make sense it's just my it's almost like my brain short circuits sometimes when I read headlines or when I see things I'm like how is anyone even publishing this or how is this even real like who are we it's almost like the whole snap out of it thing like I wanted to say to some influencers

like cut it out that's kind of how the world feels right now I just want to like take people by the shoulders and shake and be like cut this act out cut this this is all this doesn't make any sense like what are we talking about so yeah just keep yourself grounded as much as possible in these times and like um focus on yourself no what did I just say don't focus on yourself no like all the things that are good for you focus on those things health okay health is number one relationships okay that's your family relationships your friendships your romantic relationships your community okay that's number two health relationships your personal like passions and and career and and your purpose

that's what life's all about like it's like I forget what the quote is or like who said this like love and work is that a book or something like you need to have a purpose you need to work you have a job you need to do something not like a job like yeah yes a job it could be a job or it just just something that you're working on and you're building upon every day and you're you're advancing like career wise or passion project wise or hobby wise it feels good to get good at something you know over time so have something that you're working on and working towards and then have really great relationships and you'll live a good life all the other shit's noise all the other shit's clutter all the other

shit's a distraction it's just extra it's excess it doesn't it's not yeah so because that's what you'll remember when you die like the change you made in the world like okay what's your impact it's your legacy what did you do even a small big or small and then like your relationships and the people you were with and your experiences with them that's it so god this is a crazy episode like literally i went from like this is gonna be an hour to like i think we're hitting two all right that's it i'm gonna what's today i gotta fucking bake these cookies more cookies bake these cookies wrap gifts um wrap gifts probably do some work um walk the dogs i feel like i'm at that point of christmas shopping

where i'm like i feel like i just need to like go into town and just like look for stuff randomly and and like see if there's any like last minute things that i should buy because i'm like ocd about like i don't know if i got enough or like am i missing something or like did i forget to get something like i almost like want to go to town and just like and that's not good that's like called impulse shopping and that's not something smart to do but like it's also Christmas time and like you have like two days and yeah so all right that's it thank you so much for hanging out uh I'm glad you're here happy holidays uh please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on apple spotify google podcast it's your breaker overcast wherever you

listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and don't forget excuse me do not forget to review the show five stars uh hit that five star review button on apple or spotify it helps me out it helps people find out about the show and finally if you want to uh support this podcast patreon.com slash tjms patreon.com slash tjms it's five dollars a month go check it out uh that's it Thank you so much for hanging out and I'll talk to you next week. Bye. And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back I don't fucking take smoke, I'ma poke a hole for you, choking's overdue

Come at me and you won't get any older, dude, crack your hold or two Heating up inside of me, blood so violently, thanks for trying me Now it's finally time to see how this rivalry becomes my dynasty I know there's no turning back Oh God, adrenaline wasted So mad I can taste it I know there's no turning back I'll do what it takes, I ain't making mistakes like that

I'll bleed on your face just to make you go take it back I'll lose my shit, I go crazy when I'm mad And now you can't wish you had shut the fuck up real bad And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back