The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 363- What's Really Going On.. (I've Been Hiding Something)

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

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What's up, guys? It's episode 363. Welcome back to the show. I'm debating if I should rip the band-aid off and just tell you. I can't I'm like going back and forth I'm like should I rip the band-aid off tell you the secret now or tease it in the beginning like I'm doing now and then tell you at the end of the episode because like half the episode's going to be about this secret um cool so we didn't come to a decision I'm currently what is this like we're 20 seconds into the episode you're gonna find out so at some point I'm gonna figure this out as I go at some point in this episode I'm gonna tell you my big secret. I'm going to tell you what's really going on in my life behind the scenes that

I've been, yeah, keeping close to my chest and not telling you here on the podcast. So anyways, I'll set the scene. I'll give you a few life updates in addition to this secret that is also a life update. And yeah, let's just like hang out and have a great episode honestly I'm it's happy February happy it's a leap year so that means so my brain was like wait I thought a leap year had less days in February no it has more so like if you're and I guess that makes sense because everyone knows that kid in school or everyone had a kid in school or in their class or whatever that was like you know they talked about how old they were they're like I'm actually four years old because I was born on February 29th and so

technically I'm only four years old but they're like you know 12 or whatever um because they're that day doesn't exist exist unless it's a leap year so yeah anyways happy February happy leap year um are we doing wet feb are we doing so how was your dry January I I went 12 days and then it failed immediately when my wedding planner was like guys we should get brunch and get mimosas and talk about the wedding and then boom what do you know we're popping corks and I'm drinking and I failed so I actually logged I think I drank five times in January which was not my plan but um yeah so glad that's over you know what okay I'll be honest all right what is this okay wait I'm gonna set the scene I gotta tell you like what I did this morning the state of my appearance

right now um I'm like I don't know what to do okay actually oh my god okay hi multiple trains of thought at once hi I miss podcasting I missed you guys it's been like two weeks so I'm getting back into the groove right now um yeah so please hit that subscribe button okay wait I want to do this a little louder please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on apple spot do I did I just say right or rate oh my god do I need to start this I'm all over the place and I apologize but like literally I do not say right now I say or right I say rate and I'm catching myself saying that more and more lately because I don't know like i'm hyper aware of it or something someone made a comment and now i cannot i'm like sorry i'm

gonna try this again please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast amazon wherever you listen podcast please hit that subscribe button this is a weekly podcast uh it's about my life if you're new hi if you if you're a new listener what's this show about it's a it's the jacqueline jacqueline monroe show i mean it's pretty self-explanatory it's about my life it's about what's going on it's an audio diary it's a pop culture podcast i talk about social media i talk about current events news politics bombs blowing up in the world elsewhere i'll cover that sometimes dogs life wedding planning I'm doing that now a lot and the future of this podcast is going to

have a heavy topic because of the secret I'm going to reveal you'll get a new flavor on the show here moving forward about a specific special secret topic that I haven't disclosed this is what I am such a okay first of all I'm not I'm not a big planner with this podcast it's very much off the cuff um and I'm proud of I don't like write things down I have like basic ideas of the topics but um one thing about me is that I love surprising people and I love like teasing and like making things like bottle up in your head until you're about to explode before I tell you so like that's how this episode episode's gonna go if you're desperate to know the secret just scroll ahead I'd say go forward 30 minutes um because we have a lot to cover in the beginning

uh so what did I where did I just come from was I was I doing my plugs I think I was doing my plugs oh it's a okay the jocular oh yeah I was telling you about the the show it's a weekly podcast it's about my life it's about all the things um so yeah subscribe cool let's set the scene wet hair sweatpants post gym uh no makeup skincare on coffee in the gut water in the gut coffee and water ground beef in the gut you guys i had ground beef for breakfast i don't give a fuck it is what it is i had that it's adult cereal get it together eat your protein get in those healthy fats I mean I'm just such a I'm just that person now and I don't care and I've been posting about it a lot I've been talking

about a lot on the podcast my consumption of red meat now and like how great I feel and blah blah blah blah but like it works okay no longer do I do avocado toast and like granola with like berries fuck that I'm eating beef for breakfast in a bowl with hot sauce um yeah I feel so that's what I ate today I did a really heavy glute day again I mentioned last episode that I have a sick obsession with smith machine Bulgarian split squats I think is what it's called where you like put your leg back and you just like lunge down anyways so um and that was fueled by the fro-yo that Corey and I got last night because it was a rainy day and you know when in Rome when it's a rainy day it's like first of all I always say like oh I want to like watch Harry Potter and curl up and

like you know like drink coffee all day and like snuggle in the rain and it's like whenever because I live in California now so I grew up in Washington but whenever it's like that here I don't want to work I don't want to do anything I just want to watch movies and cuddle and do like nothing all day so um but yeah back to setting the scene I did glutes cool I did the new movement the Bulgarians who cares okay so yeah I'm drinking this coffee oh I'm still putting the the mushroom what's it called four sigmatic mushroom blend in my coffee and I'm noticing like the oh my god I'm we're officially gonna start this over so oh my god no we're not we're gonna keep it going I bent my engagement ring speaking of the gym okay we're less than a year into being engaged

wait we got engaged in May 22 2023 and I bent my ring it happened okay and let's take a step back okay because this thing is not obviously if you've seen it it's not small and it's uh it's beautiful okay what am I saying something about me and something you already know if you listen to this podcast is that excuse me oh god body is breaking down hold on uh water something about me and something you already know if you're a regular listener is that I have no business wearing an engagement ring into it into the gym because of the way I work out okay I I'm rough with it I get I do I'm it's it's a lot it's aggressive it's heavy it's a lot of banging things around going hard like just I'm that person in the gym I don't

care. It is what it is. So I'm doing hip thrust. I'm actually having a really good lift at this point in the, in the morning. And I don't recall clanking it on anything. I don't recall like putting a new, like another 45 pound plate on. Cause you know, I'm stuck that it wasn't going to be a 35, you know, it was going to be a 45. It's going to be the third one. Okay. Cause I do three I I've I'm trying to push to four but like I just can't rep them out like I can do three so anyways cool 2 15 is like way too light and I don't I don't recall like banging my ring on anything so anyways I'm probably on my third set and I look down and my stomach drops and I feel like crying and I'm like this is not I'm not seeing this correctly and I had to like squint

a little bit like really like turn my finger and look at it and lo and behold I bent my ring and everything was perfect it's all intact none of the diamonds are like nothing fell out or is missing it's it's pristine other than the fact that the um the setting is bent so I have an appointment with a jeweler today to fix that and hopefully it'll be um something they can just like easily do or Corey was like we have to like his jeweler out of state is like oh ship it to me and I'm like there's no fucking way putting this engagement ring in an envelope or whatever in a box and sending it to a jeweler I guess that's how it got here in the first place I think the jeweler's in Florida like I don't know and I don't think I ever told you guys but like his the jeweler he

used for my engagement ring was like the one that made his mom's ring and his sister's ring it's like a family jewel it's cool so anyways I did that this morning and there's nothing weirder after you get engaged like you get so used to wearing a ring on that finger it feels so weird and like I have so much anxiety when nothing's on this finger so I had to put uh just like another chintzy cheapo ring um from like Amazon I think I got it from Amazon yeah on that finger just so it feels normal like it's a sensory thing at this point um so yeah moving forward I will not be wearing my engagement ring to the gym um and I'll probably wear like a rubber one or like a false just like a fake version I don't

know um but I hate taking it off like it's such a I get so much like anxiety I don't like yeah um where to move on from here so I picked out my wedding dress this weekend I could get into that um i witnessed the aftermath of an immigrant boat crashing into the shores here in la jolla california um that was crazy that made the news and i was kind of there after it happened and i got to see what that looked like up close um immigrants from mexico if you're like wondering where they came from so that was crazy i i witnessed a whale pod pot of whales transient whales orca whales killer whales uh punting dolphins into the sky also at the beach by my house over the weekend like a lot has happened to this beach uh which is funny because yeah well I

won't I don't want to tease anything right now um so told you about my morning I told you about what happened to with the ring um yeah life's good life's really good uh cool so let me get into the okay I'm gonna get into the boat we'll do the boat the immigrant boat we'll get into the whales and then we'll get into this weekend with my mom and sister picking out my wedding dress and then that is a great segue into the next into the secret so there's going to be a point. Okay. Yeah. I'll just, I'll just, um, cause you have to understand something. I was also keeping it a secret from my mom and my sister for like two weeks until they came and then they figured it out. So they know cats out of the bag with them finally. And then

now you're going to find out soon. So anyways, I'm coming home from the gym. This is like what a week ago or so and I'm looking to my left and there's like this police helicopter or a news helicopter circling the beach really low and I was just immediately hanging I hung a left so fucking fast I'm like I gotta go check this out that's what I was raised with a mother who I love my mom she literally there'd be like a car crash like a car flipped over at a gas station or something next to the freeway and I grew up like staking shit out just like watching things go down like tragic events like where there's ambulances police cars bodies flying like we would just like park our car and watch like like crime scenes like well

like I don't know if they're like car crashes and stuff like I recall like a handful of times doing that and because nothing feels like shit feel okay what am I saying like you see stuff in the in the movies you see see stuff on the news but like when you're there for in in person and it's right in front of your eyes and you're looking at a car like a car flipped or like people trying to like escape a yeah like a burning building or something like it's like so that that that shit makes you feel alive and so it's like you can't look away you know and um not that I seek it out But when it happens, I'm kind of like, I really want to take a look at what's going on. So anyways, this helicopter circling, I'm thinking shark attack.

Okay. I'm thinking, you know, something, something's going on like bad. Something's because I can just, I have a deep, I have a gut feeling. Okay. So I'm going towards the danger, getting a little, the adrenaline's pumping. and I noticed like there's other insane people like me also doing this there's like a fucking parade of cars going down this like street right next to the beach and um hi if you're new I live in San Diego cool uh so all I see is like okay there's like the lifeguard trucks there's a police

car there's the helicopter circling and then there's there's a boat just like a what what kind of boat like a motorboat like a normal like just a small like fishy not like a I don't know what I don't know about okay what did my grandpa have a blue whale no whaler no I don't know it's just like a normal boat with like a motor in the back you'd see it like it this is the kind of boat you like take to a lake or like a river it's just chill like it's not a big boat anyways it was flipped over crashing into the rocks at the beach and there was like blue containers like I don't know if those were full of water or cocaine or I don't fucking know and um there was like clothes kind of or like material floating in the water and I'm thinking someone

died like I'm thinking hmm something bad just happened and I missed it but like do they know who was long story short like 30 immigrants from Mexico I don't know how many were in that but it was like a lot crashed it into the beach and ran you know crashed in the beach and ran away and like I don't know where they went but obviously they came in here legally and they probably have some sort of plan once they get here but a friend of mine had a video of the actual event of them crashing in and coming in it was like fucking pirates like and we we met this lady like the next day because we went back to the scene and she's like yeah I watched the whole thing and it's like what do you do like they're just coming in and it's like

you can't like what are you gonna do and then you know and I was just like wait in another country if you saw something something like that you'd probably like run for your life like I don't know if I was in that situation I saw like a boat just coming in full they were going in they were they were coming in hot they were coming in like I think they found so this beach has a bunch of rocks but they saw like this inlet with like a little sand and they were just going straight for it and then they were lucky because right next to that little patch of sand is a nice staircase for them so but anyways like I was thinking about it if because I walk the dogs by that beach like every day we're always going to this beach it's right it's like literally a

block away and uh I'm thinking like if I was to see just a bunch of just guys on a boat coming in hot and crashing and I would probably run for my life like I would be like I don't know what I don't know if they're armed I don't know if they're here to attack me or kill like I don't know what's going on but everyone in this video um you can see it on I think it it's on the typical liberal that account um they reposted it um if you're not if you're a wait if you if you're a liberal or democrat listening right now and you don't follow that account and that's gonna rub you the wrong i don't know maybe go on it's probably on cnn honestly it's probably on one of like the more liberal channels too like they probably posted it um i did i think it made the

news news um who cares whatever so but it's in the video like people are just like sitting on a bench with their iPhones out like just taking video of it like with just hanging out at the beach like so nonchalant you know I think I would have freaked out I would have yeah I would have been a little more like okay run for cover who knows what's gonna they're I don't know what they're gonna do like once they get on shore and like come up to they literally just like ran across the road I was really sad okay let me get into like my actual like heart right now and like what i uh realized watching that video because it was crazy and this happens here's the thing i think the people witnessing it were like oh they already knew what was going on this happens all the time

here in california like you see a lot of boats crash into beaches with immigrants from mexico and um it's like common so um but the when i was watching the video and i'm seeing these guys and you could tell they're like anxious and nervous and scared probably and they're like okay I'm in this new country and I just crashed into the beach and now what you know and I just had this like it just made me I just felt so it made me sad you know it's like hard to like who the fuck knows like like you know we have it so good we just have it so good and um I'm not for it okay I'm not for it I'm not in support of what they did I'm just saying I can only fucking imagine that um you know what it took to get here and but maybe it's not like that I don't know I

don't know how rough it is I don't know maybe it's not as bad as I'm imagining it but um you know I'm looking at Corey and I'm just like we our life is so cushy like in comparison like we don't we're not trying to like get on a boat to go to a new country to have a better life and an opportunity and a job like that's they probably they probably already have jobs set up like they probably it's probably all already like you know planned out I'm sure and I think they pay like a fuck ton of money to get on that boat in the first place and I was thinking about it and I thought this boat so I I guess Mexico's really close to San Diego like I like I've literally lived here I've gone on six years and um is this gonna be a one-take podcast I think it will be cool um I'm always

like checking in am I still recording yes I am but um I was like how long did it take for them to get here like a day and he's like no it's like two hours but then I'm thinking like these the ocean is like rough right now because it's winter time and I'm like damn I I wonder how that was like being on that boat and it's weird they didn't come at like three in the morning like it was daylight when they came in so I don't know if something happened or anyway so that was wild um it was weird like we went back back the next day to walk the dogs and the motor was like still on the beach and then there were some like the pieces of the boat were just like next to the garbage can but you could clearly see where they had dropped they um the police or the firemen i

don't know who the tow company like pulled the boat out because there's like tracks in the in the sand um so yeah it was crazy i'm just like wow like you see that on the news all the time here in California but like it just I just like it was so close to home that that's probably what was weird it was literally like a two minute walk away from me okay so then I don't know should I go into the dress and the weekend with my mom and sis or the whales because like the whales also happened at that same beach like a few days later so uh and then I want to tell you the secret oh I'm like, we're getting close. We're getting really close. So I'm going to fast forward to the whales. And then I'll tell you about the weekend with my

mom and sister and picking out my wedding dress and then the secret. So, um, when my mom and sister came, it was Sunday, this past Sunday. Um, we walked the dogs to the beach as usual. we got coffee and we look out and there's like a bunch of boats like fishing boats and just like small boats kind of in a in a circle or just they're all kind of hovering in the same spot and I'm like holy shit there's free willy there's fucking there's a black and white porpoise it's not a dolphin I'm used to seeing dolphins go you know jump out there but no it was a it was a full blown killer whale like big you know tank of a whale jumping out of the water and I'm like excuse me something you need to know about or something it's so important you know this wow

so I grew up in Washington state pacific northwest and I have a special place in my heart for bald eagles killer whales bears wolves like those kinds of uh are those all predator apex predator animals or like top of the food chain whatever like I just have there's something special about them to me I guess because I yeah I grew up where orcas were out in the ocean by my like where I grew up um I watched free real free willy as a kid um with the curve fin do you guys remember that movie the free willie had like the the i can't say the r word the bent fin um uh what was the other movie is there another dolphin whale movie i think that was like the

one um oh like geese swans snow geese because like these were the animals that were around me as a kid bald eagles would land in our trees all the time growing up they're they're they're always perched on like the tip of the tree looking for mice in the fields like I grew up in farmland okay that was like a common thing to see cool so like whales are really special I've always felt this like I'm trying I'm really trying to sell to you right now that I like orc whales more than the next person especially you and I have you know I grew up in Washington I'm just like so I'm just so Pacific Northwest it's crazy so but it's it's rare to see them in the wild like I remember one time in my life now I haven't been to SeaWorld right that's not I haven't seen like

a whale in a tank at SeaWorld up close the only so the only time and I don't ever don't plan on doing that ever um the only time i've seen orcas was when i was like 10 years old we're camping out at deception pass up in up in washington in the summertime or whatever and we were we were camping we were at the beach and we looked out and there's like fins you know but it wasn't as cooler as like scenic as what i witnessed this past weekend with my mom and sister because like they were more in the distance you could tell oh those are all that's obviously a pod of whales but it was that and that was it and I was 10 years old so now I'm turning 30 love talking about my age I'm starting to it's like this this is my 30th year and we're just embracing it we're talking

about it cool um so yeah it was special to see this like you saw the whales jumping like you saw like the full thing like it wasn't just like oh we saw the fins and they cruised by and that was it it's like no they are fully they're hunting dolphins they're hunting dolphins and that's really sad because I love dolphins and so anyways like we were um we saw them like you'd see them come up and then I don't know if it was it was like a seal but no it was definitely dolphin they were like like bumping them with their nose and like pushing them out of the water and then they dive back down and they just kept doing it it's like it's like they're playing volleyball with it or something and then what I noticed and was really sad was a bunch of dolphins

were close to shore like really close to shore like in the waves where the surfers go and I I think that's because they were trying to obviously save themselves and get away um but I'm like how does a dolphin like get in that situation where it can't out swim away like I feel like I guess all it takes is like one really bad hit to the system and then they're kind of knocked out and paralyzed and like loopy and then they just get fucked with and they get killed like that's all it takes is like one bad hit um and if you're in that situation as a dolphin like and you're hurt you can't really swim away so i think that's probably what happened um there's some really graphic videos of this this happened like a month ago so these whales

these transient orca whales have been hanging around the coast of southern california i think they're coming up from south america and a month ago this went down and then now they're still hanging out i'm not sure where they're going i'm pretty sure whales migrate like like birds like i'm pretty sure they go up and down the pacific like something like that if i remember but um yeah the the poor dolphins right but you know what's fucking crazy I looked up the the news didn't really cover this really well like it wasn't really a big deal this last weekend like I couldn't I didn't find any major like stories on it but I saw a story from the Friday of the weekend before of these same transient whales going after a gray whale and killing a gray whale

so that's crazy so they're just they're fucking shit up out here like um and honestly like i wouldn't be surprised if they take out a take out a boat next that's gonna happen because that's what they were doing over in what spain like that was a big headline last year i don't know like six six months ago all these boats were getting all these boats were capsizing in europe because orc whales were pissed off because like literally they remember things and they have um they they have the revenge thing like humans and they taught each other how to like destroy rudders and like sink boats and so um i would not be surprised if this pot of whales here in california uh you know takes a boat out next but it was so cool like honestly i i couldn't it was hard to look

away i i didn't want to leave i was like when else in my life am i gonna see this um it was amazing like it was just there's like we see dolphins right and it's like oh they're not like it's it's like seeing squirrels at the park like here in california it's like oh just it's a dolphin like who fucking cares but seeing the whales would be like watching what's like better than a squirrel but still in that family a mermaid no like it would be like being at the park and seeing honestly like a wolf that'd be fucking scary um you know there's videos like this has been common obviously in the last month like seeing whales whatever orca whales swimming around um there's this video of this guy literally just swimming by a whale out there just

just going for his daily swim and then there's like a comment on the video and there's dolphins just getting eaten behind him right like literally this this whale's taking out a dolphin this guy just swims by real casually and um the comments were like oh this isn't the first time dolphins have uh put their lives on the line to save a human or um you know that was the whole gist of the situation whatever so yeah it was sweet um i don't know what's going on something's going on because why are they here this isn't normal right like is the temperature of the water some is it something with that is it global warming is it the supply chain shortage of food

for them is it did the dolphins taste better up here and they finally figured that out um is it the vibes i think the vibes are good the vibes are good here you know i think if i was a whale i'd want to be in the i would have literally i would go to the coast of southern california fuck yeah um yeah they definitely did a vibe check as a pod and they were like we're gonna stay this is our new home and now the dolphins are fucked poor dolphins it's so sad like don't look up the videos if you love dolphins do not look up the videos graphic warning or trigger warning like because they have like really good footage of the the whales going after them under the water and it's so like oh no but once you get your

shit rocked like pretty hard and you're knocked out you don't feel you don't feel anything that's how honestly like I don't like to think about death ever um I don't that's just I get uncomfortable even mentioning this like I don't like talking about it but um I I'd like to think that okay if I was any really tragic situation where like it's like an earthquake or a bomb or I don't know like something that sounds horrible car crash or like something I know like just so that I don't feel pain or whatever I'd like to get knocked the fuck out like my I want to get like my I want to go on like just fully unconscious unconscious unconscious like so then whatever happens my body happens and I'm just like you know I don't know what's going on versus like

being fully aware of the situation the whole time is this the time of the podcast where I should question how would you rather die by drowning or fire definitely drowning because I feel like your heart just stops right like you just just or you have like but fire that you could start with your pinky toe it could start with your pinky toe you know and then you got to slowly burn and oh god now i'm getting sad and thinking about the maui fires and how that kid was holding his dog on his bed when he got burned alive and fucking it like how's that going whatever happened to maui this is taking a dark turn okay this is not the this is this is supposed to be the what's really going in my life secret uh reveal podcast because I've been gone for two weeks and I really need to

tell you what's going on and it's going to be a positive ending here we're going to keep it on the rails I'm not going to get sappy and sad about death and people getting burned alive and uh Gaza Gaza Gaza I could just go on about that because I just got to have a intrusive thoughts about that all the time because I followed an account that I just like it was like exposure what do you call that like um exposure therapy that's not a that's not oh god that's like not smart I finally had a I think I talked about this on a previous episode like it's good to be aware of what's going on but not to the point where you're like searching for the murder murder porn and like the fucking not that it's Jesus that sounds awful just like seeking it out just to

watch these graphic videos of bodies being blown up and like kids it's just like because now I can't unsee it and I have like intrusive thoughts randomly about it and I'll like literally before bed I'll think about it and you know it's also an intrusive like dark scary dream I repeatedly I have like every like couple months probably is the whole fucking Idaho murder thing like oh my god like the amount of times I'm just like imagining what it's like because I'll be about you know like about to go to sleep and I'm like dozing off and I'll just think about what would it be like to just be stabbed and you're dead asleep and just someone comes in and fucks your shit up slits your throat stabs your chest cuts your arm off like I don't

fucking know they literally got obliterated they were the poor girls weren't even recognizable is that trial still like like it's going on but I feel like I haven't been following it um let me just type in brian oh don't don't i don't want to say his name he's definitely the guy um brian coberger news lawyers for idaho murder suspect brian coberger seek change of trial venue like there's all these changes and like push things are like pushing back delays but he went to school for criminal justice right so he probably knows what's up a little bit he's a little smarty pants um yeah it's sad they like demolished that house which is stupid i think the parents

are pissed and everything because it's like that's like destroying the evidence like they but for the community obviously it was you know hard to drive by that house every day knowing went down so i get that but um they want to change in change of trial venue citing inflammatory publicity huh attorneys for brian coberger say he cannot receive a fair trial in the community where the killings occurred oh jesus that's like that's is that a reach or is that just like oh making just I don't know when's that documentary coming out it's probably I know they've already done like uh what is it a 48 hours on it oh my god we watched um this is not the episode I planned on fucking doing today the secret is coming one thing about me is I'm gonna tease

it until the very end and I'm gonna talk way longer than I planned we watched the uh American nightmare documentary about that girl that got like kidnapped and then the cops didn't believe her and they like framed her or like said she was lying or something it was like really effed up um yeah that that's a good documentary if you're looking for like a crimey one right now um let me get into the weekend the wedding dress my sister coming my mom coming um i'm out of coffee so then I got to get my ring fixed cannot believe I did that it was such I was like damn like I kind of I was in shock I'm like what do I do and Corey was working out with his friend today they were in

the corner of the gym and I was like do I go tell him right now or do I wait till he leaves and call him do I just take care of him I obviously wasn't gonna take care of myself but I had to like sit in the locker room and stare at it and just like get my head around like what to do next and he was so great this is a this is another this is another reason why I love Corey and I'm marrying this man because I'm feeling awful I'm like I just bent my wedding ring or my engagement ring whatever potato potato and I'm just devastated I feel horrible about myself I'm like how did I I know it wasn't intentional but I just I'm feeling so bad and when I called him and I text him a picture of it and everything he was so nice like honey it's okay like you didn't mean to i called the

jeweler like you know they'll take care of it it's no big deal like we'll just next time we'll probably not wear the ring and you'll wear like something in place of it that's you know a piece of shit that we don't care if it breaks um but he was so nice about it and i'm like that made me feel so much better like that helps like if you're with a guy who you bend your bend your engagement ring first of all is that a bad omen like what does that mean what's this what does it mean if you bend your engagement ring aren't there like myths or like legends about stuff like that with like wedding rings like if your finger always itches or like if it breaks that means the man's cheated on you i don't know what the fuck it means um but yeah if you if you

like f up your engagement ring and your man if he blows your head off about it red flag run and the engagement move on that's so fucked i get it because it's like it's nice it's a diamond it's like i think what would be acceptable for him actually it's never acceptable to yell at me but like if i lost it and it went down like a drain or something or like that if he was really fucking pissed and upset um i would understand a little bit more uh yeah get insurance on that shit if your man doesn't have insurance on your ring like no obviously i feel like that's a no-brainer but cool so um we're getting into the secret it's getting closer

uh hold on so a couple a couple months ago I went wedding dress shopping with Corey's mom to see what I liked I've told the story before and I walked into this boutique and didn't expect to find the one but I did so I wanted my mom and sister like we need to hang out and see each other anyways and like you know because they live in Washington I live here so we had a little girls weekend planned and the whole point was to show them the dress in person try on other dresses you know just have a fun like wedding dress shopping weekend together and so anyways they flew into town this last weekend we did a little staycation here in La Jolla and um yeah stayed at a hotel Corey took care of the dogs and the farmers was going on that weekend so he went to the farmers

while we were shopping and stuff um the golf tournament at Torrey Pines if you don't know um so he went to that we were we were doing the dress stuff and I'm trying to think like because I'm like warming you up to the surprise right now um so okay let me just maybe how do I paint this picture so the dress they we went to the appointment So Saturday morning, oh yeah, we worked out, which was fun as shit. Cause my sister's a bodybuilder. She went to the Olympia. I've talked about that before. And it's always fun to work out next to her and like, just see what she does in the gym. And it's just like, so cool. Like, I don't know. It's just so cool. And it makes me like, I've talked about this before, but like

my ego is so big when I'm in the gym now, just because my sister's an Olympian. Like I'm like, so like, or not, it's not my ego. It's like, I just feel more confident or something or like, wait I can do this like I can go a little heavier I can like try I like I'm I think I used to be more shy about pushing myself and then I'm like no my sister like we got the same DNA like we're you know I should try harder I should do I should go harder and she's my inspiration so uh yeah we worked out my mom walked the dogs which is like her favorite thing um because a couple years ago my mom babysat Jimmy for two months while I was traveling so she has like this special connection to him and um so Jimmy and her went on a little walk

while we worked out and then I'm trying to think what we did oh yeah we like went to the hotel we got ready the appointment was like on 10 it was at 10 on Saturday um and should I tell you where I got my dress should I plug them if you're local oh whatever I'll just I'll tell you because it's a great spot it's called the bustle in Del Mar um so I went up up there they had so I called the guy before because my so here's the thing my sister saw a picture of the dress when I found it with Corey's mom and like I could that's when I started obsessing about it that's when I I sent Julia a picture I sent Corey's sister a picture I you know mom's his mom obviously saw it and I started googling it researching it looking for other brides that have that had worn it and blah

lot so my sister knew about it she loved it but my mom didn't she knew I found one that I loved but she didn't know what it looked like at all so I called the day before and I told the guy I was like hey you know can we keep the dress I love on the deal because I want it to be like a surprise I just want to see my mom's reaction without her knowing which one it is so he was really cool like he pulled like seven dresses that were sort of along the same lines as the one I liked and I also was open to finding something different like that I loved like I I was pretty sure I was gonna go with this one but you know if something else was there that was similar that I liked more than I was totally open to like changing my mind so I was technically like going there to wedding

dress shop and like like you know find one find the one and say yes to the dress so um also we had a second um second uh appointment planned I'll get into that the second wedding dress shop appointment um or did we done done no I'm like I'm so bad at this so um anyways I was trying on yeah I was trying on the dresses you know they obviously like give you a little champagne some cookies you know it's like super cute in there and um they loved what was interesting is like they loved the ones that or they liked certain should I just get specific I Corey's not gonna listen to this Corey if you're listening right now turn this off okay so obviously there's like different necklines right maybe I'll be vague because

honestly I want to surprise you guys like if you're listening and I kind of want my wedding dress to be like on the day when I get married like I want it to be like you didn't know about it before I wore it you know um it's like a special thing I don't know it's like so special so anyways there's obviously different necklines and different like fits like the body if it's like tighter like mermaid or trumpet or fit and flare or like ball gown so it's interesting how my mom and sister like seeing me in person in the dresses liked something that I hated um and I don't want to be specific but like a neckline for example that they really liked I was like I do not like how I look in this so they were really cool they're like whatever you feel the best in like

we want you to feel beautiful we want you to feel like like you're gonna go with what you love when you're wearing it like you know our advice is it's just it's irrelevant honestly like when you go wedding dress shopping here's a tip like don't have eight people sitting there because you're gonna get confused people are gonna say oh you look so good with the the low back and some people are gonna be like oh it looks like shit or like oh you look good with those skinny straps on the thicker straps or the off the shoulder or the high neck like you're not gonna know like it's gonna be too much so less is more I mean you can do that just be strong-willed and like what you love and like what you feel the best in so um anyways I put on I put so when I put on the dress

I was thinking like I just was like wait if like my mom's jaw jaw better drop like I'm not doing this to like make her happy it's for me obviously but I expected the reaction to be like holy shit but I'll be honest and this happened to me too the first time I saw it on myself this is the kind of dress that grows on you the more you look at it okay that doesn't mean that it's ugly or anything it's like not um it's just let's how would I say different it's different okay so that could mean a lot of things my dress is more it's probably not what you'd expect me to wear and it's not it's very unique it's it's probably the most unique dress wedding dress I've ever seen um or one of the most unique so I guess that's why her reaction was like oh my god

but like as you wear it as I walk around as I put the veil on and like hold a bouquet of flowers and like you know twirl around and you know I like did a big like walk in like I walked in the room just to like you know like here comes a bride right then it starts to grow on you then you get it and then also like just the way I carry myself in it like sells it like it's just I feel so beautiful I feel like it's just and I'm obsessed with it like literally I don't know if this happens to every bride and I actually followed so as you know I am a piece of human trash who has a non I need to stop like no I'm not I'm not trash but like I I have read it I go on Reddit to join forums and stuff like I'm on um wedding dress Reddit so I like to see like it's

fun just to see people like post their dresses and like get you see people's advice and input and blah blah blah um yeah I think Reddit's great you know I think I've talked a lot about like the negative like gossipy snarky stuff before and how I that was like really interesting to me because I never knew that existed and um and then I went down the rabbit hole like like I just like read that shit every day and like it was like reading a trash magazine it was really toxic but um there's a lot of good sides to reddit where it's like people giving each other advice and um I also like the color analysis reddit threads where people talk like post pictures of themselves you like give them advice like what colors look best on them it's like really interesting I don't

know it's like a good way to like learn about new stuff and like I also follow like a podcasting one um so but I noticed a lot oh my mom's facetiming right now oh we gotta like figure something out some logistic stuff but um I noticed a lot of brides post their dresses and they'll be like oh I have dress regret or they'll post like three different styles they're torn between and that just didn't happen for me like it was a it was like a no-brainer like this is the one and I am obsessed like I cannot imagine myself being like oh I went with the wrong look or like this was a I'm not into it anymore like no um but it was over the budget a little bit like I just didn't want it it's just so hard okay should I talk about wedding planning like we're balls deep right now

we're like we're not there's no turning back like we're gonna we have all we have our um or my mom's texting me I'm life update I'm going back to Washington soon and we're planning I'm like getting plane tickets tickets and stuff um but you know we've got the plan we've contacted vendors we've done the cake tasting oh yeah we're changing that by the way I didn't I didn't mention the cake tasting we did um Corey and I so all these things are lined up photographer DJ like all this stuff right and so it's we're at the point now where there's like no turning back but it's fucking expensive excuse my language like it is it's actually not okay it's like not that bad because of what we're doing like we're being smart but even so it's like a lot you know

the dress is like for a day and I'm thinking in my head I'm like first of all how quickly can I resell this or like repurpose it so I can wear it all the time like how do I I'm like could this could I use the fabric and like make a bag I don't know like make something out of it just so I feel like I'm getting my money's worth but it's an investment I definitely think like the way to approach your wedding dress is like in life you there's big events that happen and you need like you need the right thing like you can't you can go cheapo I could have found something for like $300 like I know there's a lot of brides that find like amazing dresses for like super cheap like I could have done my homework and like found something but like also it's a

special day I want what I want and I'm gonna and it's just one of those things like it's an investment it's like for it's like you get married once in your life hopefully like fingers crossed knock on wood like you're not getting married 10 times but like it you should get what you want or like or you know fight the bullet um go cheap in other areas of your life you know buy your toilet paper from amazon i'm like no wait everyone does that i'm like what's a cheap thing you could do uh buy don't buy name brand uh cheese from what am i saying you get it you get it so um but yeah so anyways they saw the dress and then that day so um on the way out we were like I basically said yes to dress but like I said oh you know we're getting into the secret it's

coming it's coming I think I just got to rip the band-aid off so I told my mom and sister the next appointment's at one the next wedding dress place is at one and it was like on the opposite opposite end of town um it was like in a different area it wasn't up where we were at the bustle so um we had to you know take a drive and go to a new place and uh we got lunch so we got burritos because my sister loves coming to California to eat burritos which is like so fun because I love burritos and like yay I don't know like we got burritos cool um so here comes the secret and I guess I'll just like this will be fun now because I can talk about it and tell you guys like what's really going on for finally and I don't need

to like keep concealing this the whole episode so we went to the first appointment we got lunch and then the next appointment was at one at this other dress shop right well there actually wasn't a second a second dress location wedding dress shop location okay so I'm a liar I'm going to hell no um we get in the car and I don't know how to tell you this like this is like not even that big of a deal like it's like kind of a big deal but like anyways I I drove somewhere I did I did put them in a car and I did take them somewhere but it wasn't a dress shop okay was it a hospital am I pregnant no not pregnant I feel like that's what everyone thinks my grandma

I told my grandma I called her two days before they came I was like grandma can you keep a secret for two days before they come. And she's like, are you having a baby? And I'm like, great, great guest grandma. But no, I feel like that's what everyone thinks. Like, Oh, you're pregnant. That's something like, Oh God, I'd have to like get a bigger dress or something. I don't know. I would not want that. No, like it happens, like whatever. It's not the end of the world, but like I wouldn't want to be pregnant at my wedding just personally um or before so instead of driving them to the second wedding dress appointment that now you know didn't exist

i drove them to our new house we bought a house secret reveal oh my god big reveal cool now you know we bought a house okay we bought a house and yep somewhere i i can i'm not i'm not even gonna be vague about the location or like give any details about the neighborhood or any vibes like that like I don't want people knocking on my door um we bought a fucking house okay so they I literally pulled in the driveway or does it have a drive no I'm kidding like I'm not gonna describe it at all like you're gonna see soon enough like the the house like you're gonna like I'll obviously and this is like a teaser because we're in escrow but like our close date is valentine's day and so like this is like pre this is like a little premature but like i again i can't keep a secret

i feel like i don't like what else am i going to talk about today like i could have ended the podcast but like if you're one of the lucky ones listening right now you know what's up with cory and i yes we're getting married you know about that but now you know we bought a house okay so anyways I like pulled up and as we're driving through the neighborhood so they knew because they've been in the loop like they they knew where we were looking like they they've been aware of that but they didn't know if we were like if we found one yet or whatever so it was really funny like on the way to the fake second wedding dress appointment as we're driving through a neighborhood which is like so funny because like obviously this isn't where a wedding dress shop would be

literally they were like oh my god this is so nice like you guys should look over here this is a great neighborhood I'm like oh my god how funny like 30 seconds before before we pull in so I kind of fucked up I honestly like I feel like and I like surprising people but I think they were just so in shock they like didn't really think it was real or like I just pulled in and and turned the car off and went and got the key and like they're like what is going on and I was just like the wedding you were here we're here we're at the wedding dress shop like it was so dumb like I wish I told them before we were like like on the way I wish I would have said in the car just like prime them like so you know and I have something to tell you so we're actually

not going to a second wedding dress boutique we're going to our new house we bought a house like I wish I told them that in the car so that they could take it all in as they're driving up to it and like you know feel like and like as I turn the corner is it around a corner is it not oh my god I'm not gonna like no one's gonna be able to figure this out like it's yeah um but I do I am nervous like I do not want it's like a safety thing like there's crazy people out there um but maybe you know when I turn the corner they would be able to like see it or like guess which one it was as we're driving up you know that type of thing and so anyways it was kind of like a funky way of revealing that we bought a house because they were just like are you fucking

kidding me like is this a joke like I don't get it like they were like not so it was so cool we like walked you know I unlocked it we walked around and I showed them where they'd stay in the guest room they like show them the yard because we have a yard now and like my laundry room um which is so great because like I feel like here's the thing with California and in real estate and like looking for a place and i've talked about this before first of all the it's just a crazy market and the price is obviously everyone talks about how insane you know the interest rates are and like home prices and blah blah like that is so true and it's just it's it's a crazy time we live in right now so something that we got really lucky with is that we didn't

have to compromise on much like we all the other places we looked at we were like oh you know it's got an amazing kitchen and like a great yard but the washer and dryer is like in the garage next to where you open your door to get out of your car or like you know stuff like that or like oh the master bathroom uh you have to blow a wall out to make it bigger because it was built in 1940 or whatever and it's it can it can barely fit one person and so that's a you know there's all these like things to compromise on right like that's something we found like especially the neighborhood so I work from home you know I podcast I have a PR job right you guys if you're new hi I'm a uh corporate girly by day podcaster by night no um that's my gig so I'm always at

home you know I'm taking care of the dogs at home I'm a homebody okay cool so it was really important for me and something I was a stickler on because I'm like I will be highly affected by the neighborhood and the environment is I said I'm not gonna I don't want to compromise on that so like we would go look at a house you know and it'd be a great house like the bones everything was great the yard but the neighborhood was like sketchy or like ran really ran down to the point where you're like I don't I wouldn't feel safe having kids around here you know there's no sidewalks or because you know San Diego's got some rough spots but like that but people flip houses and make them really beautiful in those areas so you find like a great house it's like a

gem but the surroundings suck or there's no like the access to the freeway is really far away and like you know cory has to drive to work it's like so with this place our new house it's crazy we're moving in so soon um it's literally perfect like literally like everything we got everything we wanted and I was saying oh the laundry room like I'm so happy I have like a room to do laundry in and it's not like shoved in a closet or like in the garage or something because that's something I it's a daily thing like you're doing laundry every day like I want it to be a good experience I'm such a but you know what I mean like that's something that if we bought in Alabama I don't know like what's like a different state that's cheaper like fucking Ohio I'm sure you that's

like a duh you'd have a laundry room you wouldn't have a or um what are other things we found when we were looking because we've been looking for like seriously probably in the last six months yeah um what's like another thing that or or another thing was like we would have to do like a full gut full remodel like we'd find the property we like but like it needed to be completely redone so that so it's like dude we we kind of talked about doing that or like oh that would be kind of like a crazy fun thing to do and cory's in real estate he knows everything like it's so that's one thing that's really nice is like he knows all the little details all the minutiae about buying a house and like you know just the little things that i would never think

of because i'm new to it you know i'm learning and it's been great like i'm learning all about the process and the paperwork and all the shit you know so um inspections we got an inspection blah blah blah so um I'm like did I just zone out I'm looking at the clouds that was such a crazy like I'm watching the clouds they're they're definitely moving there's some wind coming in because it's raining here um I just zoned out so uh anyways oh I was talking about the laundry room cool so yeah we have a yard we have a deck do you want me to like talk about the house now like give you some details like okay my favorite thing about the house is obviously the yard because of the dogs and that was our dream we're like we need that's something we didn't want to

compromise on like the dogs need space like if we have kids like when we have kids excuse me like the kid like we need you know what I mean like you you need a yard so it's like why buy a house if you're not gonna have a yard it's like you might as well just rent an apartment again like um so yeah it has a great backyard it's got a great should I say view what view I don't know it's not that's vague view uh fireplaces which is sweet because I love like I know it's California it's like warm here but like I love fireplaces and they work like sometimes you get a home and it's like old and like it doesn't work but um there's one in our bedroom which is nice um yeah it's just such a great house as so when so I'll tell you the story let me yeah that's what

I'll do I'll tell you the story of how we found it um so we were looking at this other place in the area Corey kept sending it to me like he sent it to me like from Zillow like like five or six times like he kept sending me this house he's like what do you think what do you think and honestly I hated it I was like first of all this is dark it's like it I have a my my thing or whatever that I don't that really makes me feel like about is like being at the at the base of a canyon or like under a ravine where you can't see out so this place was like really tucked in and like dark you know and it would have to be fully remodeled like fully redone inside um so which was fine like I knew that I saw the potential like I got it and there's some other homes in

the area that had with like the same structure that they had redone and I saw how great it was so I understood like what we could do but um anyways he sent it to me and then I don't know like a few weekends ago maybe more than that it's been like a month or so um this all happens very fast we decided to go look at it because they're having an open house and on that day after we were down looking at it he's like well what else is in the area like we should go show me those other houses that popped up you know and we ended up touring another house and then um this one the one we bought and it was so unexpected unexpected because we weren't like eyeing it we weren't like oh we really like this one you know like we really um which was kind of funny because it

was a great house like when you looked at the zillow um listing like it was for some reason we weren't like drawn to it or something and we were he kept looking at this other one the one that we initially toured that day so anyways it was like a sweet surprise because we were like oh my god like as we're driving through the neighborhood we're like oh my god oh my god oh my god because the neighborhood matters like it really does like you can have the nicest house in the world but if it's in a shitty neighborhood in a bad area and like a if it just has a bad vibe to it and like energy and just like look like it all affects you like you're gonna drive to that every day like it matters that's a that's something that like you shouldn't negotiate if you

can like don't compromise on so we were just like because the other neighborhood of that first house was okay like it was nice but it wasn't like this one it was like we we drove through we're like holy shit. Like what? And so, um, yeah, we drove up to the house and we're like, okay, okay. We like this. It's nice. Okay, cool. Um, it looks like the pictures, so we're not getting catfished here. No. Um, and we both walked in and we're just like, oh, oh, like we mutually were just like, oh wow oh my god yeah archways wow backyard oh my god view you know fireplace and me oh yeah jacuzzi in the bathtub or whatever we had like a really nice master bathroom like you know and so we're just like both together just like wow wow wow and that was like so such a good feeling

because like all of the other places were kind of like one of us would be into something the other one wouldn't be in it so all the stars aligned we fell in love we jumped we jumped on of like flies on shit like Corey's like I'm not fucking around like we're getting this fucking house and he's so like that's my like he's so he he's like get shit done kind of guy like and that's one of the best things about being a like in a partnership with what am I saying his woman is that think about like if you're a woman listening because he's like obviously you've got a lot of um girls listening I guess I have both but like we have a lot of shit that we go through and think about all day and things to like get done and our list our lists of to-dos are

never-ending and we we just have a lot of shit to get done in a different way um I'm trying to think like little things I feel like they're like little like the small things but there's like a lot of them you know uh that's like how i feel like women operate and then men it's like big chunks like cross this off cross this off it's like big thing next big thing it's like boom i don't know and they also keep things in boxes and we're swirling swirling around in our head all day so something that's nice about cory and that i'm just like it's it keeps showing itself as we go through life together and like big things happen and like you know buying a house together like

I'm just like oh my god like I don't have to worry about shit he just get he just handles it like he's been sending me oh we got the security thing I just got it shipped to the house or like oh look at this new doorbell or whatever the fuck like he's just doing shit it's like so nice and like I am too so my I am owning I am the queen of making this house a home right I am the appointed person for that because hi I'm a woman and this is my shit so literally all it is so dreamy I'm like I'm like something we talked to our wedding planner about just to like go on a side tangent real quick is that or she mentioned us she's like look at you two like this is a big year you're getting married just bought a house like both going into a new decade of age like we're

10 years apart cool like this is a big year like like soak every moment in like release make make a point to like take in these moments and like like stop and look at each other you know and soak it in because this is a big deal like you don't want to like skate through this too fast and like you know forget it or whatever so and that's what I like to call stopping to smell the roses so um speaking of me like being in charge of the decor and the furniture and all that stuff like at one point in my past and I started this podcast you're probably on that in that phase of life with me like I dreamed of this you know I wanted this this is something I saw in my future and i really like this was like the biggest thing i could achieve as a i don't know like i literally

and it's i don't care like it is what it is i always saw myself getting married settling down having a family um being a housewife like blah blah blah like i i'm it's so like it makes me feel so happy and so now it's like oh my god i cannot tell you how much fun it has been to like go on Pinterest and like follow all these accounts for uh like home decor accounts and like going on like we're just you know buying I had to buy like three couches already and like dining room table and chairs and we got to get a bunch of new stuff so it's been so fun just like browsing and looking and designing things and picking out colors and it's like literally so fun and so I'm really trying to like soak this in like not only did I buy my wedding dress this week and

picked that out which is like a huge life event and I showed my mom it which is like a big deal I don't know there's like something about like putting on your wedding dress in front of your mom like it's just like it was like a moment not only did I do that I surprised her I was like mom we bought a house okay so then that happened and it's like holy shit you know it's a lot and it's just so I'm like so like stimulated right now by like what is this dopamine or uh serotonin what is it whatever the feel-good stuff is and like literally Corey and I will look at each other like 50 times a day and we're like we bought a house we bought oh my god oh my god like we will not shut up about it he just repeats himself like one time we he'll think of the most random thing

about being a homeowner and like having a house together he'll be like so honey the doors during the day you'll lock them right they're gonna be locked and then if someone comes to the door we're gonna have a camera so you'll be able to see them like if an amazon guy comes by like just so you know and like he forgets he told me that 15 times but he just like thinks of little things and i'll just like repeat it like or i do it too like i'll talk about we'll just like constantly mention like little decor decisions we've made or like ideas for like the guest bathroom or like it's just so fun like all we do right now is talk about did I just say right right all we do right now is just yeah talk about home shit and it's so exciting it's so exciting I don't know the

wedding's exciting it's gonna be beautiful like that is later this year so it's kind of nice because we're not moving into a new house and then getting married like a month later like we have a nice stretch of time like literally everything unfolded fucking perfectly and he said he's like we're gonna and this is him being a doer and like getting shit done like he's like end of february we're gonna find a house by the end of february boom it happened so now we can kind of like the wedding planning stuff's underway it's pretty locked in like there's not a lot to do after like probably end of next month um or actually end of this month it's a new month which is crazy february happy feb um so we'll have like a chill spring summer moving into the house like

decorating you know throwing a housewarming party I'm sure which is gonna be fun um and yeah it'll be nice and then we'll go ease into like the fall with the wedding stuff it'll ramp up again and um yeah it's crazy so cats out of the bag if you're listening you're one of the lucky people that like I'm making this so dramatic for no like people buy houses every day like it's but also I understand that it's a big fucking deal to buy a house in San Diego like that's not it's a crazy market it's just I understand like it is I shouldn't downplay it it's like the American dream I'm literally okay that is truly what it is it's like I'm living the American dream the like cliche American dream right it's like I'm getting married I bought a house like it happens every day but it's a

struggle bus out there. It's a struggle bus. And, um, I, I'm just really feeling, I'm feeling very grateful and blessed and lucky and all the things like, um, yeah, it's just, it's going to be fun to share like the home stuff with you and like the little things that happen and, um, like Jimmy digging a hole in the backyard and like try to think of like what's like a random thing I could tell you about the house that's like um I'm not getting into specs I'm not getting into like the location obviously um you'll see I'm gonna obviously post like pictures when we're there and like um oh something that is so Corey is the sellers wanted to the closing date was like 12th of february and he's like can we push this back a couple days to the to valentine's day

so we're closing on valentine's day okay like am i living in a movie yes this is not real life and it's just so magical like it's just so magical um what else did we do this weekend i'm just trying to like think of did i wrap up the girls weekend we went and hung out with Corey's parents watch football I'm going for the Niners uh I know Kansas City's gonna do it but like the Niners have a good chance I just think Brock Purdy's a little a little messy but anything could happen you know anything could happen um but uh oh Seahawks got the Ravens defensive coordinator as their head coach um which is cool i hope that i hope that goes well he's got big shoes to fill with pete carroll

um you know being there for what however many years 14 was it was it that long 12 14 so yeah um we bought a house there's a secret i'm trying to think maybe i should do a q a like i'll post like a house q a when we move in like questions you have um try anything so I finally decided decor wise I finally decided that I was being a hater on boucle and I need to shut I need to like stop it because I kept everyone so everyone's like doing boucle now it's like this cheapy like textured like fabric you've seen it it's like it kind of looks like um yeah like sheep fur wool like it's it's hard it's mealy it's like

little pebbly it's like yeah textured I don't know they're making like pillows out of a chairs couches now so I finally was like I need to I was like I'm being a hater on this boucle shit because everyone has it and I don't like to and when everyone whenever something's trendy I have to be like I don't like it because I'm just annoying like that and it's just how my brain works so I finally was like wait no wait it's like great I love it it looks great like it actually looks really chic and nice so um we got these really pretty dining room chairs that are boucle and these um side chairs for the front living room so basically I'll tell you I'll kind of give you a spiel about the house like there's a more formal living room and then a chill like tv room like

so we got um like big fluffy loungy couches for the tv room and then a more like structured formal couch for the front living room so um oh i know what i could tell you which is crazy or not crazy something interesting about the house so the owners had an original like vintage I don't know what year O'Keeffe what is it called O'Keeffe and Merritt I think um yeah it's it's an old oven an old old range a 39 inch they don't even make them that that big anymore an old range and um sorry my mom's texting I'm like talking and reading at the same time I don't know if that just came out perfectly um so anyways they had a this like old vintage oven in there and our agent was like yeah when you turn it on it like smells like

gas like you smell that gas smell because there's a pilot light that's always on and so we're just like nope it's cute it's really cute I know it's like a collector's item but I will not like deal with that propane gas smell every time I'm trying to cook something or I think it just stays on all day like and then he turned it on for Corey when he was there a different time and Corey was like yeah this is we're like we're gonna get sick from this so um dm me if you want my uh oven we're trying to sell it right now because um we got a new one so that which is cool yeah we like went to appliance a few appliance stores together it's like how did I get here I was on the phone with my mom yesterday we were talking about wedding stuff and like life I'm just like

okay let me zoom out because and look at my life right now in this situation like it's crazy how like life comes at you fast like once things start happening they just start snowballing like and I think that's how it typically goes for most people like one especially with like settling down you know and like getting married and buying a house like it's just like it just starts flowing and so I I'm still like my brain is catching up with my my body's like going through all this my brain's like trying to catch up because I'm still like I'm definitely I definitely feel more mature and like I feel like a grown-ass woman now like I think a couple years ago I was still kind of in that like I'm figuring finalizing or figuring out like who I am

and what I'm about and blah, blah, blah. And I was still kind of in that limbo of my twenties where I'm like, you know, kind of on the other side of my, you know, dark hole that I've talked about many times got on the other side of that. But then I was still kind of in that still felt, I still felt like I was, I didn't have my shit figured out where now I'm like, okay, I got my shit figured out. Like I can do this. And then I told, I think I talked about last episode like what I'm learning is that when you're younger these big life events you say out loud like oh I want to get married and buy a house and have family someday or whatever it is for you you might say I want to build a business or I want to you know travel the world

and backpack across Africa or I don't know like whatever your dream is like you say it but like there's a piece of you that uh it might be scary right like it kind of deep down you're kind of scared of it. You're like, Ooh, this is like permanent or this is a big deal. Or like, this is like a big undertaking. Right. Um, but what I'm learning is that with time, time really is the healer for everything truly. Um, and it takes time to mature and for your brain to like catch up with your body and to like, you know, process everything. So what I'm learning is that if you're still like on the fence about what you want out of your life and like what your you kind of end game is like your goals and um it's because it like scares you and it's like

oh it feels like daunting or permanent or whatever if it gives you anxiety just something that i've experienced because i only i'm talking from my pov here is that um when it happens when it starts happening you know and it starts shit starts getting real like I really feel like and then this might sound crazy but something about like Corey getting down on one knee was like the best thing ever because I just like I needed to like put a stake in the ground and like and like I was fully all in committed to him and like a hundred percent there was no like wavering at all but I'm saying like that was it was like symbolic and it was just like oh and now I have a new stake in the ground I can I can plant now we were committing this life

together and now we can like build off of this point and then you get to the next point and then the next point now we're buying a house and it's like this is a new thing and then it's just excitement it's not scary anymore that's my point what you realize is that it's it's um you it's about having self-trust that's what it comes down to I'm not scared of any big life thing anymore even outside of all the big elephants of like you know settling down marriage kids family career stuff like whatever like yeah career stuff's like outside of that I'm not scared of it because I'm I have self-trust that I can get through anything and then I'll figure it out and it's fun that's the thing it's fun it's it's all everything starts and ends in the mind so

whatever your initial gut reaction is um about something if you live your life off of base if you make decisions based off of those emotions uh i know gut feelings are guardian angels as the pinterest bitches like to say but if you purely make decisions off of those emotions especially when something scares you like lean into that and dig deep because there's a chance that it's because you're not you don't trust yourself and you haven't you don't believe that you'll be okay and you'll get you'll get through it so you avoid it you don't do it you know what I mean and then now the next year goes on and you're in the same place the next year goes on and you're in the same place and you never got that thing which you don't realize is that you could have gotten that thing

you want you could have pursued that dream pursued that goal whatever and you would have been fine and now you're going to be happier on the other side because you you have it you know and I think indecisiveness is something that I struggle with for the longest time and it was because I was afraid I was afraid of fucking up afraid of you know failing before I even got started which is so dumb like I know and I'm smart enough to know that shit could hit the fan any day in my relationship that's a that's an obvious thing like anyone you see in a perfect happy relationship with a perfect little life shit could hit the fan tomorrow and then it's all over but you know what I trust myself I'm not saying I'm not like I'm not putting that out there I'm just painting a

picture of like you know something that is common in this life with other people um but I know that no matter what happens to me i i try i'll i have the um i'll get through it because i trust myself that i can get through anything is that the word i have self-trust yeah like you're confident in your ability to get back on your feet and make shit happen and live a good life because i've proven to myself thousands of times you know i i've i've had a lot of rock bottoms i've had I faced a lot of adversity. I've faced a lot of hard shit in my life and it always gets better. I always get through it no matter what happens. And so that's why I'm like, so I can tell you from my experience with the, cause I'm settling down as they say, right. I can tell you firsthand

from my firsthand experience that it's so awesome. It's fucking awesome. It feels so great. I'm a giddy little two-year-old all the time I'm having so much fun it's and I think that's when you're in the right situation I I I'm lucky because I I'm with someone who's truly like my best friend and everything we do it's more fun like with him it's just so great you know um so I'm like what else can I talk about advice wise like just just send it fully send it you got one ride I'm not trying to be morbid or whatever like I didn't like to talk about death earlier and now I'm sort of bringing it up again but like make it great you know and then if that's you if you're like that and your partner's kind of ho-hum and doesn't really

like if they're not really interested in like living a kick-ass life or they're kind of settling you can just tell by their how they talk and how they act and they're you know negative and stuff like get out of that relationship like find someone who's like I want a kick-ass life I'm gonna have like Corey just like the amount of times he looks looks at me he's like we're gonna have a sick house it's gonna be so great it's gonna be so awesome we have so many parties here we're gonna have the greatest you're gonna make the best damn cookies in the new oven like he's just all positive all happy like it's just that is it and I think that is like the core of it the person you're with your partner is everything like it's everything um if you choose to live a

life with someone else and you're not single and you didn't choose that path like um but you know it can get rocky i'm aware of that i know things could hit the fan but again i fucking believe in yourself that is the message like literally you're gonna be fine that's why I'm like I'm scared of like dumb things like spiders a little bit actually not too bad but like heights you know but life stuff I'm like bring it the fuck on like literally come at me come at me bro like the worst thing could happen to me I could I could get my foot cut off and be the happiest fucking bitch alive like literally it's just all about oh my god this sounds like Gary Vee or Tony Robbins like it's perspective it's having a positive attitude positive mindset

like and it's I'm learning the older I get the more I'm around people the more I get to know new people and see how they think and act and talk and operate and blah blah blah I honestly think like your what you've been through in your life like your personal life experience is going to shape you obviously into a unique person dude this is like not what the fuck is this episode I'm just saying like some people it's like it comes naturally you know like it just comes more natural like that mindset that like growth optimist like kick-ass like being be a winner mindset is just like some people haven't some people don't so you just gotta like

and just that innate like I want to evolve do more be better it's like some people yeah it's like they have everything I'm trailing off okay we're gonna end it you got you get the gist I'll go on for another 30 minutes and it's like what do you call it word salad like my yeah um let me just check out my camera roll to see if I'm missing anything um I got my hair done oh I'm really looking forward to I'm gonna have an office in the new place and like um it's gonna be a nice little podcast studio situation which will be fun to put together um we went to home depot okay yeah just looking at my camera roll how are you how's your february so far i'm so dumb

oh i had an experience with a box of godiva chocolates this weekend because my mom showed up as always with gifts aplenty and I think for the first time in my life I was like Godiva is better than C's and I know that's a fucked up statement but like I before we went to dinner on Saturday night I literally had like 16 truffles in a row and I could not stop it was one of those things where like I can stop like C's like I think it's because they're more chewier they're more chewier. They're chewier. They're nuttier. They're like a little heftier. These Godiva ones were just like melt in your mouth. You know, like all of them were like, yeah. So anyways, I just saw this picture of the chocolates and I'm like, I went super hard with those. Um, oh, I know. So

my homework today, so I have to get my engagement ring fix to the jeweler. Um, oh, picture of Corey's underwear I'm looking I have so much blackmail on my phone it's not even it's probably illegal of Corey there's a hole in his underwear and it looked like a vagina his butt crack look um my homework so I gotta get my engagement ring fixed and then uh these damn save the dates i gotta get those out and um we're doing paperless posts because like it's just people get the save the dates in the mail they put on their maybe they put it on their fridge for a week and then it's just like it's in the garbage like we're doing the paperless post email invitations we're making it easy we're making it cheap it's like it looks great um i

think we're gonna maybe send out physical invitations but you do the save the dates obviously and then you do invitations later um but it's important we get these out now because we got to figure out our head count our official head count and yeah so i have to finish that and then if i don't golf this weekend like i'm scared like i it's like we haven't so i've been so occupied with house stuff and just things right holidays like we got through that now but i don't think i've golfed in over a month which is like not okay um what's a fun detail I'm like still thinking about the house we're not gonna be a beige neutral home we're gonna have some there's gonna be some charm to

it some character that's not in the neutral palette that doesn't exist in the I it's funny I'm just like trying to I know what my I know what I'm drawn to like decor wise like I have a but should I just okay why am I going into home decor right now I was gonna end the episode but I just don't want it to end up looking like everyone's house you see like everything everyone like does the same shit with their house like all the bloggers and stuff like they all have the same which is it looks great it looks amazing I just want to put my own personal spin on it and something that I think is cool that I thought of um is to have like a like a theme but like a super subtle theme where you like don't even know it's there but like

guests will like sort of notice it room to room but they'll be like what is it you know like I want it to be an experience when you walk in the door like like I'm starting to like wrap my head around or I'm I've started brainstorming I have this full document oh my god I this is how I know I'm like I should have been an interior designer like I could literally do this all day long all night long like I love it I love like what I did is I have all these um photos of each room and then next to the photos I have like the furniture we bought and then like inspo pics and like random colors and things I think of and like like whatever so um I'm starting to like brainstorm like the theme but I want it to be like subtle like I don't want it to be full-on you walk in

the door and it's like oh these people love Star Wars or whatever or the oh these people are obsessed with um African elephants or something like every picture is an elephant like not that full-on just something like in the air but you don't really know what it is so stay tuned for the theme I'm sure that's been done time I guess that's what they do when they design homes or like there's a story it's all about the story that's what I'm learning about the wedding planning like our wedding planner is all about like it's all about the story you're telling the little like that's what people remember there it's like you got to paint a picture of the story of you too and like you know so and that's what I'm doing here I'm a

storyteller hi i'm jacqueline i'm a storyteller i have a weekly podcast what do i do it's like honestly favorite thing to do well i will not shut up about it what's happening in the world right now like did i even do current events news um did taylor swift endorse biden or was or were the democrats like or were the republicans tearing her up because of someone like rumored that or i don't know who cares uh yeah i was watching cnn last night with cory and i'm just like it's like the girls that get it get it you know it's like watching people divulge about trump and like this is just like how they i don't know

like again the girls again again they're talking about him like how it's weird that people think of him like as Jesus or whatever because like Angelina Jolie's dad like he like retweeted a video of I forget his name I always get him and Christopher Walken confused they're totally two different people like um I've been thinking about that a lot like celebrities that are like the same person but like two different completely two different two different people like I mentioned Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts I think last episode or a couple before because the entire time I was watching Leave the World Behind I'm like it's Julia Roberts right no Sandra Bullock Julia Roberts yeah but like I get them my brain just thinks they're the

same who's the other one I thought of that's like so um oh there there's this like what is it Layton Meester and um there's the other actress that looks just like her okay that's like twins though I'm talking about like it's like the same person in two different fonts or like bold and italic you know um I had a good one I thought of the other day so I totally forgot what I was talking about oh it's politics get off the subject Jacqueline and the episode can't do it because I love podcasting and here we are um do you even like like I wonder if this is annoying being a listener like do you notice I do this and you're like okay when is this gonna end but I just keep coming up with things to talk about put me on the radio like I need a five-hour radio show I need a

oh um oh yeah i was like talking about i just wow cool uh politics golf moving into a new house we haven't started packing yet oh yeah like what are we gonna do this weekend so we're gonna start we have okay i have such a busy month next month let me just tell you so next friday we have a 40th birthday party to go to uh 40th birthday sunday's a super bowl we're gonna do something for that our friend's a huge chief fan chief's fan so i'm pretty sure we're gonna go to a chief's bar maybe i don't know we haven't decided or i don't know what's happening yet

so that's next weekend and then and we have two weekends we have this weekend to pack we have the next weekend to pack and then um okay and then that week that Wednesday is Valentine's Day we close and then we start moving right and we're gonna move in that next weekend that same weekend we move Corey has a major golf tournament that is going to make or break or it's for like a big trip somewhere or some shit like they do this every year and it's like a charity thing I don't know he's a golfing tournament okay so then there's that on the same weekend we move so I'm gonna enjoy myself like being at the home like unpacking faffing around you know decorating whatever and he's out golfing cool I cannot wait for that weekend I'm gonna have a great ass time

probably gonna listen to podcasts all day long and you know um hang with the dogs cool so the next weekend I'm flying back to Washington I think it's the next weekend and then I was like Corey I know we just bought a house I know we're getting married I know a lot's going on right now but I said honey we gotta live our lives we gotta stick to like what would we do if everything was settled and we didn't have all this pomp and circumstance with like moving and shit going on like what would we do at this time of year anyways right what have we been talking about for three months like what have we been trying to book and do honey we need to ski we need to ski I do not want to wait until next season now what you don't know is that I have until March 3rd to use my

lift tickets because I bought them last year and there was a crazy snowstorm and blah blah blah and the road was closed and so they caught me for this season they end up that they they expire on March 3rd literally the last weekend of um February or like the yeah is the Sunday the last day we'd ski is literally March 3rd so I'm like can we squeeze it in can we do it the house will be there everything's fine like it's not going away but like can we squeeze in a trip and then have a chill March like it's just a lot going on we're busy we're very fucking busy and um but I have that mindset I'm like I still like I know things are crazy but Like, I still want to plan trips, do weekend getaways, like do things, like have fun.

Like, I don't want it to be like, oh, we're just head down in the house all year because that's all we care about. Like, no, we got to, we got to have our relaxation time or like getaway time or vacation time too. Um, cause I think that there's an element of us right now. And especially, I think there's gonna be an initial hit of like, we got to get shit done for the house. Cause like, we want it to be nice.

We want it to be finished. like we don't by the way this place was like redone I forget like the last couple years like we don't have to do much to it um which is amazing so but yeah we have this like energy right now that we need to like get stuff and like fill in all the corners like get things all the things we need and then that's gonna obviously die down but um I'm trying to like keep my head on straight and remember that like we can do this slowly and like over time like especially the decor and stuff which I'm I'm having to really like pull the reins back on online shopping because I did the so I got all the furniture that we needed and then decor stuff I'm gonna like

see the furniture see how everything looks and then I'll start shopping for that stuff and we're gonna use our own we're gonna use what we have too obviously um but that's a process that should be you know long and drawn out because I think if you move into a house and you fully decorate it everything's done like the first month it's like now what you know it's fun to like add things over time go out to the antique stores go out to like the furniture decor place whatever and like find things so that's gonna be my new life and I literally can't think of anything more exciting like straight up I love house stuff I love decorating I love furniture I love throw pillows and candles and painting I'm gonna do a sick guest bathroom because like

it's white right now it's like all light you know and I'm like I want guests to come over for dinner and they're like ooh this is vibey I feel like I'm at a swanky club right now or like a cool restaurant you know how like restaurants always do something funky in the bathroom it's like dark and moody like that's that's what I want the second a kid pops out it's gonna be like fucking uh goldfish paint and like everyone grew up or maybe you personally had this at your house there was always that shower curtain with like the fish on it the plastic fish shower curtain like what was another thing in a kid's bathroom just like just toys for the bathtub and shit like I don't know like a potty training shitter next to the toilet if they had like small kids

I am such an adult now like sometimes I especially recently I'm like I'm so I'm so grown up childhood is gone bitch I'm now my parents I am now my parents that is a weird thing like I am now my mom had me I think when she was 30 so I think she already had my sister now it's so weird I'm like I don't oh it's like amazing but crazy and like I just like to buckle up and go for the ride and that's my advice just fucking send it live a good life go for it say yes do it send it be it want it feel it go just go feel it what does Corey say feel it and go don't know what that means but that's what he says feel it and go I'll just be like walking down the steps and he'll just be like feel it and go all right that's it thanks so much for

hanging out thanks for tuning in to episode 363 uh i had fun told you my secret now i feel relieved i'm not gonna post about it though until we close so we have two weeks of me just not talking about it like if you're listening right now you're in the know okay can you keep a secret are you gonna go tell your friends i don't care whatever it doesn't matter it's just like we bought a house but like i'm not officially gonna be sharing the news until we close um oh my god we walked the dogs through the neighborhood the other day um just like I don't know take him there and I like let the dogs in the front yard and Corey's like no no no no like we can't like it's not our house yet like okay that's like come on like have some class like come on like it's not we haven't

you know like because I'm thinking oh this is our house it's like no no no no no like you gotta have like that we don't live here yet like come on like have some decorum that's what's missing in this country like decorum people don't have it anymore like look at the internet and like all these i mean do i i guess what i you could say what i do is unhinged sharing every detail about my life publicly to strangers um but it's 2024 it's what's what's going down and it's not going away so um but for for real not ending the episode i did say thank you for hanging out we got to that point haven't asked you to subscribe I haven't done the closing call to actions yet but what I've been thinking about recently or noticing is like think about everything okay think about life

this world like it is very much blending like your perception of the world around you is very much what you see from your screen and also what's in real life and that is crazy like it's blending like it's fully blending right now um perceptions of your friends and people you know like is through what you see on their stories you're following it's just like keeping up like that now is just how you know people um like like my friend I got I got my haircut and or colored a couple days ago and I was like how's your trip to blah blah and it's because I just saw her on her trip on her story all you know it's cool we can see that I'm just saying like my perspective perspective of her whatever is all through a cell phone like and in person but like

do you know what I mean okay cool this is a deep talk for another time and I don't have any business I just need to shut the fuck up please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast amazon podcast uh breaker stitcher breaker where else breaker sticker wherever you listen podcast please hit that subscribe button follow me on instagram at jacqueline monroe tiktok at jacqueline monroe uh share this share this secret episode on your story and tell people to listen to it uh be like i've been following this girl and she i can't believe what i just listened to or something i don't know or like this is toxic just make it like

like make it sound like click like do something clickbaity to get people to listen to the episode just share it and like be like uh she canceled this woman say that like she's official i've been following her for three years or i've been listening to her episode for three years and this episode after this one she's officially canceled i can't stand her anymore do something like that dramatic just to get people to listen to it thank you so share it subscribe to it follow me on Instagram and TikTok uh that's it I hope you're happy I hope you're what I used to say I hope you're I hope you're uh happy fulfilled healthy happy healthy fulfilled in whatever you're doing uh and I hope you like yourself I hope you love yourself because that's you know

that's where it all starts you gotta love yourself and love other people and love your life and help people and blah blah blah put your oxygen mask on first before you help others so my mom and sister were literally in the same row it was like 26 on a flight home to washington on alaska air the same fucking row that door blew out of and my mom called me yesterday she's like yeah dirt halfway through the flight i looked to the right or the left or whatever side they were on and they're like yeah there it was a bunch of bolts over a door that used to be it wasn't the same plane probably but like she just realized like oh the reason why no one wanted these seats and we took them is fucking row 26 love you that's it thanks for being here and i'll

talk to you next week bye Ayo, ayo, ayo, ayo, ayo And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back Ayo, ayo, ayo, ayo, ayo And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back I don't fucking take smoke, I'ma poke a hole through you Choking's overdue Come at me and you won't get any older, dude

Crack your hole to two Heating up inside of me Blood so violently, thanks for trying me Now it's finally time to see How this rivalry becomes my dynasty I know there's no turning back I've got adrenaline wasted So mad I can taste it

I know there's no turning back I'll do what it takes, I ain't making mistakes like that I'll bleed on your face just to make you go take it back I lose my shit, I go crazy when I'm mad And now you're gonna wish you had shut the fuck up real bad And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back