The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 378- Panic Attack At The Gun Range

Episode Date: July 13, 2024

Today we recap my birthday weekend, unveil my sick obsession with Reddit snark pages and influencers that annoy me, sleeping naked vs. wearing pajamas to bed, the complete sh*tshow that happened to me at the gun range (am I ok), Cory calls in, hosting my first BBQ at our new house and MORE! Thanks for listening and supporting the show!! $10 off your first order of MODERE ⁠⁠⁠https://modere.io/wlnF4Q⁠⁠⁠ REVIEW THE SHOW https://open.spotify.com/show/4ijzUBunTIHgVmahB0ISEN BECOME A PATRON! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/tjms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  KEEP IN TOUCH! INSTAGRAM »⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinemonroe/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TIKTOK » jacqueline.monroe  EMAIL THE SHOW! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  MY MUSIC GUY  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  SPONSORS Spotify for Podcasters Modere

What's up, guys? It's episode 378. Welcome back to the show. I don't ever slow up. No, I don't take shit. I got no love for the famous. If you want to play tough and want to hate this, I'll always show up and make a statement. I don't ever slow up. No, I don't take shit. I got no love for the famous.

If you want to play tough and want to hate this, I'll always show up and make a statement. You guys, I haven't been on one like this in a minute. So let's have a fun podcast. happy Friday here we go I'll just do the normal intro hey what's up it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show like I'm just calling it now this is gonna be a little obnoxious okay I am feeling myself first of all hi this is my first podcast as a 30 year old I am feeling myself and thank you. I know she's here. She's 30. No, like, okay. I am on one. Like I said, there's a lot to unpack

here. Um, I think it's because, wait, why am I on, on one right now? I just recorded two TikToks before recording this, which is crazy. Um, so now I'm on, you know, I'm fully doing my wedding prep series on TikTok. Go look at my TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe to follow along. Yeah, I recorded multiple TikToks. I just talked to my Instagram story. I'm like, I'm just very on point. I'm very on one right now. I feel like, yeah, this is going to be a little obnoxious, chaotic, a little crackhead energy. What was I going to say? Wait, something about, oh, everyone's in Ibiza right now everyone's in Europe right now and I'm sitting here next to my chicken cutlets from my birthday outfit um and my underwire my strapless bra and just like boob tape um I'm gonna just tell you

what's on my desk like I like people are in Ibiza right now like fucking partying popping you know drugs whatever they're doing they're having the time of their lives looking hot as fuck on yachts and uh uh uh jesus christ atvs that was a glitch no like for real that was a glitch and i'm just so happy to be here right now first of all like i said i'm 30 i'm very i'm so like oh i'm just like i'm very happy right now i just like so much is going on we're gonna get into it i have a great episode for you today like i always say it's gonna be a good one but like I'm looking at my environment right now and I'm just like, this is nuts. Like it, there's just so much shit on this desk, but I'm so happy to be here with him. And I have so much cleaning to do.

I have a barbecue to plan for or to clean for tomorrow for tomorrow. Um, what's on my agenda. So I have to record it too. Okay. Let's all do a deep breathing exercise together because this will not, if you've made it this far, congratulations. Like I've seen, like I read Reddit snark all the time it's like my trash mag my like 2024 modern day trash mag if you don't if you know you know but if you don't know like there are there are pages called like they're called snark snark that's a new term I learned when I discovered reddit snark pages on reddit where it's just like regular people gossiping about influencers and like the LA influencers and New York influencers it's very toxic it's very um not good but um how did I get here just lost my train of thought

um let's do deep breathe oh I know what I was gonna say I can't tell you how many so I I like researching the snark on other people's podcasts because it's very enlightening or like it gives me an insight into similar audiences to my audience's brain and like it's just interesting to see like how they perceive these hosts and their personalities and their cadence on their show and how so what I'm getting to is there's a particular snark page that I've read multiple times I keep up with like whatever I'm so like this is the thing about me like I'm it's like I'm not shy about telling you that oh yeah I I read read it and I it's like I know it's toxic and I know it's like unhealthy but like I read it and I think I find it interesting

and I'm literally 30 reading like high school like it's like high school shit it's so petty stupid judgmental mean it's very it's not good it like I said not good but anyways I'm admitting to it and there there are so many comments on like a few of the podcast like the girly podcast I listen to like their reddit snarks where they're just like the audience people commenting or like posting on Reddit are like bitching about their cadence, how fast they talk, how crazy they are. Like, Oh my God, I can't believe people listen to this for like, I can't believe people tune in for this trash. Like I know that's what I'm giving today. Full self-awareness. I get it. This is a lot. I'm just very happy. I'm giddy. I just finished my wedding invitations two days

ago. I just met with my wedding officiant last night. Um, that's a story I could tell. Um, I just had my best golf round on my 30th birthday. Um, I feel skinny because I feel very tight and lean and hot. And I've been wearing my hair down at the gym. Okay. I've been wearing my hair down at the gym. I turned 30 and now I'm wearing my hair down at the gym. Okay. Thank you. The confidence is through the roof. Like it's, I'm, this is annoying. I know my, my glitches. I get it. My confidence is through the roof. I'm wearing my hair down the gym. I walk out of the gym today. I get complimented on my outfit and then I get asked, Hey, do you want to make a video for us? Do you want to be a model for us for the Instagram? I'm like, what? You know what

I mean? I'm, I'm feeling myself. I am 30. I'm feeling myself. We're going to talk about a dark story in about five minutes here, by the way, I do have a great show for you. Uh, but before we get into that, let me do my plugs. Please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now. I'm on Apple, Spotify, Google podcast, stitcher breaker, overcast, wherever you listen a podcast please hit that subscribe button and don't forget to review the show five stars while you're there uh tiktok at jacqueline monroe instagram at jacqueline monroe uh patreon.com slash tjms to support the show it's five dollars a month it's my little tip jar patreon.com slash tjms go check it out youtube the jacqueline monroe show on youtube i think that's it

so yeah i'm gonna tell a dark story um i'm gonna recap my birthday weekend uh we're gonna talk about should i just read literally should i just read and recap reddit snark i was thinking about that because i saw this tiktok and it made me feel less alone literally guys i sound like okay let me bring you in i feel like and i talked about alex cooper last week last week about like how people are annoyed by her like chaotic energy and how she like like targets Gen Z or like that like I don't know she like acts like she's still in college like partying like but she's 30 and she just got married and she's not like pivoting and acting settled like but like when you're genuinely happy like I feel

like I can actually attest to this or whatever like I am genuinely so giddy so happy so like did I just have a quad espresso yes I did you know what this is so classic why do I have this why am I on one today? Why do I have this crack? It's like, literally I had in a lawn before the gym, the most amazing glute workout with my hair down on the Smith machine after that. And then I proceeded to get complimented and then told that you should be a model for our gym. And then, and then I go get a quad espresso with Corey and okay. So let's just like come back down to earth. That's probably what's on board right now. That's causing this. But anyways, when you're genuinely happy when you're genuinely fulfilled when you're genuinely just excited about life like

feeling yourself like it's hard not to talk like the roadrunner and run your lips 100 miles a minute and just like you just want I want to do cartwheels like I want to like is this because I'm like fully like detoxing from all the processed food in my diet and alcohol for like the last two weeks let's come back down to earth like what's really going on here like I do think there's something to be said about like because I'm on my so I'm 10 weeks out ish a little over 10 weeks out for my wedding if you didn't know I started at 12 weeks and I've been like cutting out all the process shit I'm like doing my like official wedding diet now my wedding prep my like workout diet stuff and so yeah it's been two weeks and I think there's something to be said for when you

go on a kick like a fitness kick or something and like those first couple weeks I know it's like hard it's really not for me because like for the most part I'm doing the same thing I always do but I'm not having like my fuck around and find out days you know I'm having like strict you know I'm now I have two two and a half weeks until I can like have a carb no not actually like I like sugar and like alcohol and that kind of stuff so um like the fun stuff when I'm on the lake in Montana on a boat partying and going to a concert and you know that kind of shit my like summer my summer my summer what would you call it summer spring break fuck me I'm giving like this is giving me he's just saying it's giving is giving Gen Z it's giving I watch I'm chronically

online I watch too much TikTok I was just gonna reference a TikTok about this girl that reads Reddit snark and how I felt felt so seen and so less alone she's like yeah this is like modern day gossip girl like it's not crazy and like we used to all walk in the grocery store grab a people mad grab an okay magazine and like read the trash on all the celebs that way but now we're just like going on reddit and it is what it is and like I've I don't need to explain myself but like I just love peering into the minds of lay people that don't participate in the online influencer playground like I have the sickness I have the quirk I have the thing that's like I want to be seen and heard and I want to put myself online publicly and I want everyone to know all my

opinions all my thoughts all of my ideas I want everyone to like like me follow me give me attention like I that's just hi that's what that's how God made me not to bring God into this but like sure I'll admit to that but it's so interesting to like read the from or like read other people's opinions that aren't built that way that are like dude I'm all about privacy I can never I can never that's humiliating that's cringe i could never i'm like i kind of get that because i think all content creators ebb and flow where they're like i'm so mortified by what i just posted but i'm also like my biggest fan and i'm like fuck yeah that was such a great picture you just posted really that was such a great tiktok it just made me but then you hate it at the same time and you're

like kind of embarrassed so it's always a journey putting yourself out there online but um how did we get here we want to tell the scary story the dark scary story my dad's calling me right now this could not be more perfect um god damn it I just can't ah fuck I don't want to put him on the spot and put him on the podcast so I'm just gonna set my phone gently down I know we want to do our weekly catch-up phone call because that's what we're doing now um we'll just have to let this ringtone pass yeah I did my plugs I talked about being happy um chronically online tiktok gen z crackhead energy um honestly couldn't tell you but I'm happy I'm here we're gonna do we have a great show um damn it you know when you like

really wanted to say something you totally lost your train of thought cool so um on that note let's get into the podcast actually hold on I'm gonna bring you in right now I'm gonna pause this and re-listen back so I can remember what I just talked about oh duh I was talking about my health kick and feeling great and you know of course that's probably contributing to why I want to like do a cartwheel and bounce off the walls but let me just like okay bring you into like my day and what we're doing here and then I'll talk about the scary dark crazy fucking panic panic attack story that I just this whole situation I went through that was very strange um in a sec um but basically I went to the gym this morning

I did glutes I was okay I already told you that we got coffee okay I already told you that but um we're having a barbecue tomorrow with literally two people just a couple our friends they're coming over we're cooking steaks we're cooking burgers it's simple you know we're probably gonna have some watermelon some chips okay I won't be eating those obviously like it's chill but oh no oh no no no no no no no no no like literally all my mind can think about right now and I think that's why I'm talking 100 miles a minute is that I need to spic and span this property. Like in the words of Shannon Ford, I know that viral, that clip went viral. She's like, when I clean my house and I've guests over, she wants to make it

look like they just bought the house yesterday and no one lives there. Like that's how clean she wants it. And currently I'm in the middle of cleaning my couch because Louie, it's the first accident he's had in five months since we moved here on this couch, which is amazing because he's a bulldog an English bulldog and they do their thing you know they do their thing they're impossible to train they're not impossible to train but they're they're he has his accidents here and there okay I just tell myself like this is good preparation for children and having kids like messes pee shit cleanup like it's a good I mean I'm getting in a good habit or it's like becoming like I'm it's normal to me now it's not like oh gross so I'm in

the middle of cleaning the couch but I've got just stuff things laundry floors to mop like the whole thing tomorrow okay so that's what that's what's oh my god oh my god it's did I tell you what time it is it's 11 21 a.m it's Friday I'm not on a spreadsheet because I got fired I love oh my god like cheers to that just cheers the microphone not on a spreadsheet those days are done I love not being on a spreadsheet at 11 21 a.m on a Friday I love it oh my god like that's another reason I'm so fucking giddy and happy it's because it's like I'm actually like doing my thing like my passion I'm like living out my dream of being an entertainer and not just you know a spreadsheet

whore or I overuse the word whore it's like a spreadsheet zombie I guess I don't know so that's all great and well but I have Pilates or I have yoga at 4 30 hot yoga I did a heavy glute workout and then I have hot yoga at 4 30 I am a professional athlete basically like i eat sleep and train like a professional athlete at this point pre-wedding and i love it i feel so great hot yoga is changing the game um i've been doing lagree pilates that's been changing the game um literally i'm at the class the last class at pilates and i'm like not so i'm the type of girl in pilates who's kind of looking around to like get like just see how to do the different moves because I don't like I've done it for like two

months now consistently so I've taken like let's just call it eight classes so I'm like kind of I've gone in the groove of it but like I'm still looking around like I'm still new to this Pilates thing and after class the instructor goes oh she goes oh hi Jacqueline right I'm like yeah she's like were you here a couple weeks ago do you get certified and I'm just like huh I I think my reaction was like oh hell no like that was definitely not me because I'm thinking I suck at this because I don't feel like I'm good at it and she's like oh my god you have perfect form I would never she's like you have your technique is so perfect like oh my god like you're so great at this and I was like thank you like oh my like I was like wow like I'm really just I feel like I'm

struggling in here. So that was an amazing compliment. Yeah. I'm just like Pilates, hot yoga, lifting. I get told, Hey, let's do a lifting video of you for our gym. Be a model for like, I dude, hard work beats, beats talent. Not to comp or not to quote Logan Paul hardware. hard work beats talent it's so true though I just feel like you get what you you reap what you sow you get what you you get what you do you get back what you put in you put in you get out what you put in whatever that you know what I mean like I do feel like I'm being disciplined I'm being on point I'm doing my workouts but I gotta clean this fucking house excuse my language I gotta I got to clean this before hot yoga tonight at 4.30.

So podcast, clean, hot yoga, beautiful dinner on the table. I think we're going to do tri-tip. I bought tri-tip yesterday and I really want that for dinner. We haven't been eating at restaurants that often. We had sushi last night. We did have sushi for the first time in a long time last night. Um, so yeah, it's like our new thing. We're like eating in all the time. I'm cooking really healthy dinners. We're not eating out at restaurants. Cause like when I met Corey, I quickly discovered

that this man loves restaurants. He loves eating out, out for dinner. Like he could do it every night. So I just got so used to that with him. And then I realized that like, even though you're eating the salad, even though you're eating, is this a health and wellness podcast? Like actually, like I feel like this is kind of is this my lane now what was my lane last week oh potentially needs to start going to AA meetings and also what was the other thing I was like I'm drinking too much and I I like admit oh and I have no friends the vibe this week is I'm two weeks into a health them fitness kick or I hold them on this kick and I'm a nutrition expert. No, but like restaurants just have, they just, even though you're getting a salad or something healthy, like they add so

much stuff to it to make it taste good. And like, you don't know what that stuff is. And I don't know. So I kind of, I feel like it blew me up a little bit. Like, I don't know. I just know my body so well where I could just tell like it's the restaurants, even though we're eating healthy at the restaurants it's the restaurants that's doing this so um yeah podcast cleaning hot yoga uh dinner um by the way sushi last night right I didn't tell you about our officiant so we originally had Corey's best friend officiating our wedding and he just told us like a couple weeks ago like hey guys I love you but I just want to enjoy the wedding I don't want to have all the pressure of like officiating it and he wants to just sit back and enjoy us getting

married so we're like hell yeah we support you like of course we get it no big deal so we reached out to another friend of ours and she lined us up with an officiant we met her last night and we she was amazing and it was such a good fit and like like a good like we just like clicked and um yeah so we found our officiant where we met her last night it's that's checked off I'm kind of thinking of wedding stuff right now we obviously got the invitations done we are shoe shopping tomorrow I think Corey's like do you want to go to like Bloomingdale's and like look for shoes and I'm like sure of course even if I don't find my wedding shoes like I'm never gonna say no to shoe shopping right like of course like let's do that um he's fun

to shop with so that's so great about him like he's not annoying to shop like to go to like a department store and shop with because we'll just divide and conquer like he'll go to the men's section I'll go to the women's section we'll do our do our thing with he'll give me ample time like we have we don't like he's not like hustling me like we gotta go we gotta go I'm over this no he's like enjoying himself shopping and I'm doing the same and it's great so that's happening anyways um yeah sushi last night let me tell you what's going on so let me just get to the point here the point of the podcast because I do have a story to tell let me refer to my notes I can't believe it's already what's the date today July 12th fuck um

oh okay this is on my 378 episode notes um shooting range so that's that's the story time i'm gonna do and then sleeping naked versus pjs cute pjs question mark question mark question mark and then just like my ring sizes i don't know i have so much random stuff i like use the same note for all this random stuff that happened this week um oh yeah Corey and I tried on wedding bands that's another wedding update um my ring's actually at the jeweler right now because one of the little prongs got ever so slightly loose to the point where if you shook it next you shake it next to your ear it kind of has a rattle to it so um I have to pick that up but also I mentioned the

whole like last week it was like I need to go to AA that that's a joke by the way like but I made it sound like very dramatic the whole like alcohol AA thing but um the no friends thing is like definitely not a joke and literally I've made four-ish friends since that last episode and reached out to hang out to do things and it's amazing I like turned 30 and I'm like a fucking I'm a new woman I'm wearing my hair down at the gym I'm a new woman it's like incredible I love it here I this is your sign if you're younger than 30 and you're and you're gonna turn 30 someday and you're a woman like just this is your sign that it gets better and it's not that bad and it's actually amazing and you'll be your best self and this is these

are your thriving years like when people say that like 20s were like survival mode 30s are like i'm thriving so i wrote down naked what did i write down sleeping naked versus pjs cute pjs exclamation point x so this is just like okay this is it was an i don't know why this is like a thing for me but i follow a lot of influencers like girls like you know they're posting their cute pjs they're posting their outfits right they post outfits and then eventually it's like okay these are the cute pjs they bought they're like getting ready for bed and putting on their cute pjs i'm like so i my whole like the topic right now a new segment oh wait new segment wait

there we go hi roadcaster pro 2 uh automatically loaded sound effects that i haven't switched out yet because i'm lazy a new segment like sleeping naked versus pjs like what do you do because even when i lived alone so i'm a naked sleeper birthday suit only like when i see people put on shorts like their little shorts and their little button-up shirt and they're getting ready for bed and they go and fall asleep next to their man and that I'm like how does that work like is that what I just it's an extra step right taking off like you have to put them on you got immediately take them I don't understand how that works all I'm saying is that I'm uncomfortable in PJs. I sleep naked. That's just what I do. I've always done that. I don't understand PJs. I get

out of the shower. This is my routine. I shower every single night. I would dry off with my towel because that's what you used to try. Oh my God. Like the brain cells just left the fucking building. Like, what did I say? I'm on one. I'm like, this is crack at energy. Now we're calming down. We're coming down from the caffeine. We're coming down from, we might have a crisis a mental breakdown in like 10 minutes about me being 30 now like I could go the entire other route and be like I'm miserable I'm sad about this I miss my 20s like this could go so bad but yeah like the whole PJs to the bed thing like cute PJs like cute PJ

gang like what the fuck like I'm just not on board with that I get it it's like comfy but I'm lounging. Here's what it is. I get out of the shower. I dry off. I do my skincare. I don't even wear a towel to do my skincare. I'm just fully nude over my bathroom counter, doing my nighttime skincare routine, hair in a bun, get in bed. Clean sheets against your clean skin. Are you kidding me? Why would I cover it with PJs? Period. And yeah, there's another body in the bed. just doesn't, it's just not good for the relationship to be clothed. Okay. Now I don't know why this is now like a sex education podcast. So anyways, um, the cute PJs, what was I going to say? I like, I keep losing my train of thought

and it's definitely the caffeine coming down. And Oh, I was talking about, Oh, now before the shower before going to bed. Okay. Most like I'm most likely in loungewear, like sweats, crew neck, sweatshirt, sweatpants, something cozy, sweatshorts. You know, that's like my quote. That's like my PJs, a big t-shirt. Okay. Oversized XLT baggy sweatpants or never yoga pants, by the way, never nothing tight at that time of day. Like it's nighttime. I'm cozy. Maybe a bathrobe. Sure. But it goes from that to the shower, to the naked skincare routine, to the bed naked. I don't understand PJs. I'm not team PJs.

I'm team birthday suit. So that's that segment over now. And it's also an indication that, um, I chose violence on last week's episode at the end there. So I'm going to be nice and I'm not going to choose violence right now, but it says a lot about you when you wear PJs to bed. That's all I have to say. it's giving

do I want to talk shit right now do I want to talk shit not like it's not being it's like judgy it's not judgy it's like I have this observation okay this is so I am burning a bridge right now without even name dropping without even disclosing who I'm talking about I cannot it's so funny how I like go I play this game in my head where I'm like how how far how like how crazy do I want to go okay I'm not going to even say specifics but this particular person this influencer by the way it most of these most of the time I'm talking about people that I follow or like I like their content I actually like them I actually think they're cool but like there's always like a quirk there's always a thing where you're just irked by it right you're just like

really like what the fuck I know I'm like that for a lot of people too like you might love this show you might love this podcast you go to my Instagram you're like ugh like I'm so over her stupid fucking selfies or whatever it is for you like that happens it's normal it's human we all have like things that just kind of rub us the wrong way and you don't really know why I find myself by the way like those people sometimes it's like always when I'm like high or drunk or something it's always what I'm fucked up where I'll be like just liking every picture on my feed just like supporting people like yes yes yes queen go like I'm just so like overly lovey-dovey like yes I love you but then like on a normal day on like an afternoon on Tuesday I'll just be like just

fuck all like I'm just over it like you're annoying stop no one cares so isn't that stupid um but anyways this particular individual did something first of all they're getting married like me so that's why I like following them they're kind of at the same life stage as me and it's fun because you're like kind of doing the same things you're kind of the same age and basically they got a procedure done that is so ass backwards and upside down I can't even I don't want to say the procedure I don't even want to say the person I won't say anything but it is so ass backwards and upside down it's not like a bbl or it's nothing like should i just be like specific right now and pretend like no one listens to this podcast

because like try okay okay i shouldn't do this okay this is what i don't understand you get a boob job because you want bigger tits right that's why i did it that's why most women do it they want bigger boobs tell me why this individual got smaller tits she's engaged she's getting married her boyfriend's her fiance's you know probably like a normal dude who likes big tits right I'm always talking about like body parts last week I chose violence like if you heard last week's episode like that was not that was a no-no that was like um your inner misogyny is showing your inner what's it called like yeah your internalized misogyny is showing your hatred towards women and show like your internalized fucking daddy whatever it is your

issues are showing like I know that's what last week's episode at the end there was giving and like I know I'm doing it again here but like my point is this like the fact that she went smaller they were already like non-existent to begin with and then they became more non-existent to the point where she after surgery goes kind of think about just getting them fully removed 280 cc's something so non-existent like that and I think originally they were like 320 so you go from 320 to down down to 280 320 wasn't even visible and now you're at 280 make that make sense why would you go down under the knife again to get smaller implants I don't understand it teach their own some people are not they're not about the boobs I get it couldn't be me but

I just don't understand it sometimes when it's like they make such a thing of it it's like oh my god you know I get I'm going under I'm getting a procedure done it's like so dramatic and it's like well what are you doing I'm getting a boob job oh great you're going bigger oh you're gonna have big tits no I'm gonna they're the ones that aren't even visible like you would never notice that they were even there to begin with and then they go smaller that should I delete the segment was that violent and mean and do those little things though like it's so funny how like dumb shit like that will like irk me or like you know what I'm very in support of my new favorite thing is like when people come out and they're like I stopped getting lash extensions I stopped doing

brow lamination I know I know I have eyelash and brow blindness and I stopped recognizing myself so now I'm like stop I'm not doing this anymore and I'm like yes that is a movement I can get behind I cannot get behind the smaller implant movement like going smaller and then this other influencer I follow this is why I should read snark on reddit because like I'm pretty sure people like snark about this shit I don't know if they did about her and this whole thing but this other influencer I follow like definitely is getting a lot of dude I am I'm in high school I'm in high school I'm 30 years old and I am a teenager and this is not appropriate and I don't feel nice right now we're gonna talk about my panic attack the shooting range

so ever since I met Corey I remember one of the pictures on his hinge profile or his Instagram was him shooting a gun I think he shot a pheasant I don't fucking know maybe he's just shooting what are those things that fly in the air that you shoot clay pigeons I think he was just at the shooting range the shotgun shooting clay pigeons cool clearly this man's a republican clearly this man is a I love America and I am I love guns and I love America and that was my vibe he had a fishing picture in his hinge profile which did not deter me as it does for many women out there. I know that's like a, an ick. So immediately I was attracted to this high. I love America. I love guns and I like fishing. So I was like, cool, I'm on board. Let's, let's date. Also

he golfed. So that was the bonus point there. Cause I wanted to learn how to golf. And that's where we met. We met at the driving range. So since I met Corey over two years ago, a little over two, he's been bugging me to go to the shooting range, to shoot guns. And I've been like no I'm just like it scares me I'm always because I have a I'm skittish I'm really nervous around actual guns like it scares me um rightfully so like if you're just super comfortable with guns like maybe it's because you grew up with them your whole life you've shot done gone to the shooting range your whole life like sure I understand that but for me as someone who's never really been around it up close like that like it's a little nerve-wracking because you

just you get for me I get crazy intrusive thoughts where I'm like I could die someone could shoot me this could go wrong you know whatever so I've been kind of saying no no no so the day before my birthday my birthday weekend mind you which you know this kind of threw a wrench in it to be honest but like it's kind of funny because it's not funny what happened was not funny and it was very real for me but like he I literally woke up that day is this a is this like girl run is this like a red flag no I literally woke up that day before so we were gonna go to the gym it was Saturday morning we did go to the gym and I remember waking up telling him like my perfect day I'm like it's my birthday weekend this is my perfect day it included like shopping

manicure pedicure like home goods goodwill like antique store like me day let's shop let's just buy shit for myself and like have fun, which I ended up doing later that day. So it all kind of worked out. It all went full circle, but I was telling him, I was like, this is what I want to do today. And then we come home from the gym. He looks at me, he goes, we're going shooting. So in that moment, I realized that, okay, one of my goals for my thirties is to face my fears, to take action, to be disciplined and to face my fears. So I looked at him and I said, we're going shooting okay we're going shooting okay now I'm thinking about my outfit now I'm thinking about my shooting range outfit because of course I want to like

take a hot video of me shooting a gun and I want my ass to look great so I'm like okay what jeans do I wear at this shooting range range and like what what's my top like what I need a tight top and I need, I need, uh, like nice jeans show off the ass. Like I want maybe a belt, you know, I'm like envisioning Laura Croft. I'm envisioning like bad bitch of the shooting range, Instagram videos I've seen, you know, I'm like really excited to wear those like glass or those clear shooting range glasses and like head headsets or whatever the fuck they're the earmuffs. So I'm getting kind of excited about it. Right? Like I'm like, okay, we're going shooting. just worked out we're gonna go to we're gonna go to the shooting range um it's the day before my

birthday so we already knew my birthday plans but this is like okay this is our Saturday we like doing activities by the way so our activity activity oh my god our activity day is Saturday like we do all the activities and then Sunday is like golf and then house cleaning day so we golf in the morning clean the house all afternoon and chill and reset for the week so I got ready I was all excited he's gathering his weapons just packing them up showing me them and I'm like this is chill this is cool this is I'm calm right now this doesn't scare me I've been kind of like I've so in my experience this is my experience with guns to give you a little background I grew up where I knew my grandpa hunted I knew my like the guys in my family

hunted not my dad or my brother they just my dad just didn't like killing anything like he wasn't into like you know just it bothered him so he just never became a hunter but most of the guys at my school like in high school like I was around a lot of hunting right so I was my I've seen my grandpa's gun collection like it's been one of those things where I've never seen a gun I've never been up close and personal where they're like firing you know maybe a bb gun I think my my brother got a bb gun and he he tried shooting a bird for the first time took him like 13 shots and he cried after and I don't think he ever killed something again because he's just too godly and loving and could never shoot any like he doesn't it's just not his personality type so

um yeah maybe a bb gun and then like up where i grew up there there was a lot of snow geese hunting or i think it was snow geese geese hunting so like in the fields by my house the geese would fly in and then the hunters hunters would shoot them so you would hear the pow pow like the gun from a distance but nothing like within arms reach me right so that's my background with guns I've never held them I've held I've held them a few times damn this guy I dated one time I don't know if this is legal to say out loud but he had something that was pretty powerful laying under his bed one time I had a I'm talking like I'm talking like a redneck because we're talking about guns right now and this is my I'm on one episode and I have that crackhead energy that I

used to have when I started podcasting back in 2020 when I was blonde and depressed and just explore my personality to fucking I don't know so he had some sort of like laser pointer on there that looked like an alien ship I don't know he had something powerful under his bed that I got to hold one time which was I don't know if that was legal whatever he had is that you can have guns yeah they're not illegal but like whatever he had done it didn't feel legal it felt like this is modified probably automatic probably can you have like a I don't know what he had I don't even know what it was called but it was powerful it was cool that I held that gun and then I've held like two other guns in my life so really no experience I put on my cute outfit

back to the story um jeans boots tight little top I think it was black I think I did a ponytail yeah I did ponytail hoops that I had to take off because the earmuffs of course were gonna like cover them and it was gonna it fucked them all up so I had to take them off the range put them in my pocket so we drive up we get there right okay I sign a waiver we're ready to go I get my earmuffs I get my glasses now my idea of what we were gonna do before I walked into the shooting range was there are booths that everyone stands in it's secure you're everyone's kind of in a contained environment shooting at the targets okay now it was like in a strip mall first of all this place was like in a strip mall

off a main road it's like gun range I'm like cool we're at the gun range I get it but like the vibe was very like it was giving bowling alley once I walked in I was like oh shit this is what it is like we go through this first room we have our targets i picked out a zombie cory got a different one but i got i got the zombie target we walk through this first room what else do we have he had his guns yeah like the cases and everything and then the first room's like a holding area just kind of it's just like a buffer area where like it's not the actual gun range it's kind of giving like it's giving a space between the lobby and the range which I get it's kind of like a safety thing and just like for sound then I open the door Corey's ahead of

me of course he's leading his queen into the into the depths of hell here of the shooting range and the door opens and it's like shotgun do i have a good gun sound effect right now no okay that's bad bad example of no damn it i don't fuck shotgun immediately firing um there's like 12 people in there probably probably less than that but i my brain just saw 12 people um pistols popping just boom boom boom boom boom just shots firing it was so loud like I again I haven't been around it before so like the volume was so loud where I'm just like holy shit okay it was a holy shit I was kind of initially like okay I'm doing this like I went in there with confidence I went in

there like I'm gonna learn how to shoot a gun today Corey's gonna teach me I'm going to the shooting range I'm excited I'm gonna take a hot video in my hot outfit as a hot girl on Instagram that shoots guns because like that's the kind of girl I want to be I want to be one of those hot bitches on Instagram that shoots guns and it's confident like I repeat myself but you get the point like that's my mentality going into the situation okay I learned quickly that palms are sweaty knees heavy arms spaghetti I walk in my palms are like immediately sweaty I'm kind of getting I feel fear fear immediately I feel a little shock a little fear like the guns would fire and I kind of like clenched my butthole you know like I was very like jarring um

you know we the guy escorts us in the guy working there and he's really nice you know he's just like hey here's your spot you're in booth three or whatever I'm like cool but you walk in and what it is is a ballistic wall I think that's what that material is called that absorbs the impact of the bullet but the ballistic uh bulletproof whatever wall in the very back it's all black in there it's again it's giving bowling alley like there's um uh booths but they're not contained it's like it's basically like a countertop with dividers kind of like you're going you're walking up to a bank teller like that vibe every little uh everyone has like a section okay and there's like a little screen there and that's

where you like input stuff i don't know what the information is it's like a touchscreen thing and then you put your target up and then it shoots it back so you can shoot it there's a little place for you to set your, your gun and your, your, um, cases and everything. Excuse me. Hold on. And then behind that is where I was sitting. There's like, um, stools and like a little like ledge where you can set stuff, you know, your phone or whatever keys, just stuff. So I just kind of sat down on the, the, the, the stool behind Corey. He's, he's like, Hey, I'm gonna go set all this up because you can barely hear them right it's so loud it's like unreal how loud it is if you've never been by the way if you've never been in the shooting range i feel

like this is a good story time of like what it's like to go to the shooting range for the first time when you've never really been around guns like that before but if you've been around it and you're like this might be like a big what the fuck that's wait till i get to the other the next part of what i went through because my please donate my brain to science like i my brain needs to be studied straight up like what the whatever the fuck i went through after what i'll get into it was like so it's kind of like when the stimulus doesn't when you react to the stimulus or the thing completely irrationally to the point where it's like this is not a normal reaction like that's what happened to me basically I'll get into it so Corey's setting up his his guns

I think he brought two with him one for me one for him and then I'm sitting on the stool behind him immediately clock these two young punks I just like labeled them immediately it's like these motherfucking school shooters right here I just like I couldn't stop thinking about I was like they're probably nice guys they're probably really sweet they're probably normal like just you know love shooting guns they're just dudes out on a Saturday like shooting guns together cool I immediately clocked them down like I just don't trust this on my right here on my left it was an older guy and a woman just like seemed kind of like casual pretty like didn't bother me there was a girl shooting by

herself she's just off to the side I don't know there's a couple other people a couple guys to my left they're also dudes but they didn't give up they didn't give off like punk ass kid energy the the two on my right did now those punk ass kids had like cases they are unpacking with like not just like little pistols like big ass guns like it was like a full-on display of guns there and and they're just pulling them out of their cases just shooting them I was just like so much and I was processing that I'm just processing a lot it was so much stimulation so quickly and I was not chill clearly we'll get to that but I'm watching Corey set up his guns I'm just focusing on like okay this is normal this is like going to the the driving range to when we hit balls like you

get set up you do your thing everyone's doing their thing it's very normal I don't think any murders have happened at shooting ranges like that's a stat actually we will look this up together because i haven't looked it up yet but i can almost tell i can almost guarantee that it is probably extremely rare if not shooting range fatalities shooting range murder um three family members murdered at georgia gun store okay well that's a gun store i want three people killed in shooting and robbery at georgia gun store okay this is 2022 i'm just seeing gun store gun store arrest made in triple murder at

Coweta County gun range two years ago. Shooting range accident statistics. I don't know. It's not really a thing. My point is this. It's not really a thing.

How many people die annually at shooting ranges in the US? Wait, the fuck? Hold on. I got to read this. this is quora how many people die annually at shooting ranges in the u.s um what year was this nine years ago i don't fucking know how accurate this is though because it's just like someone commenting because like things ricochet like

i don't know quora is not a i can't trust the quora stats here um but I just saw like the immediate. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. I love how Google has this AI overview thing at the top of their search thing now. Oh my God. Okay. I'm not crazy. Wait. Oh my God. According to ZD firm.com around 430 people die each year in the U S due to unintentional firearm discharges at shooting ranges. However, shooting range accidents are not the most common type of accidental shooting according to the cdc there are roughly 27 000 unintentional firearm injuries and 500 unintentional firearm deaths in the u.s each year which is 3.68 percent of all firearm deaths so interesting

yeah some risks associated with shooting range accidents include firearm malfunctions people who don't understand firearm safety people who can't control their firearm and dropping firearms gun range owners and managers here's what it was it was so nonchalant for me it was way too excuse me it was way too nonchalant for me okay it wasn't like we go to the front desk we sign the waiver and there's like this whole spiel and like this whole thing it's like here's your target walk in the door go you know of course i'm with cory and he's like i've done this since i was 13 like i'm he's fucking been around the block with a gun like he knows what he's doing so the guy probably understood the situation like hey he's going to show his woman how to shoot a gun today like this

is very common he sees this all the time there like but it was just too nonchalant especially how when you walk in it's just like a free-for-all like everyone's just shooting you know like it's just wild how people are comfortable to me it's like wow again it's all about exposure and experience like I have none so I think when the for me this is how I'm going to move forward and I haven't even gotten to the crazy panic attack crying heaving crying weeping snorting fucking episode I had okay we'll get to that but for me I think every time I go to the gun range I have to have an intention I have to have a goal and I think for me day one was a shit show at the end but I can recognize that okay at least I got in the door because I was scared to

go in the door now at least I went through the door okay and then now it's like I got to pick up the gun now I got to shoot the target that's like the next goal but I think we're gonna do the outdoor range next time because there's something about being contained in a room with a bunch of strangers shooting guns that is so anxiety inducing for me like I just have my brain here's what it is it's you're so I felt so fucking vulnerable I felt so vulnerable and so it went from a little shock from the noise when I walked in to paranoia about these punk ass kids to my right with all their fucking guns and their cases and I'm like what are you doing here um get like it was just giving me the a bad vibe one of them had like frosted

tips not cool it's giving school shooter not cool um white guy of course school shooter vibes this is how my brain works you're walking you're taking a walk down jacqueline's brain lane you're taking a walk down jacqueline's vivid imagination through her on her podcast with her okay cool so it went from yeah shock paranoia about these two punk ass kids and then it got real for me then it was fear then it was intrusive thoughts about I could just get shot right now and die and I felt I think seeing those bullets come out of the gun and the fire and the smoke I and the sound it was it was it became very real for me

how powerful guns really are how how intense they really are you see it in the movies you see it from a distance you know growing up like sure I kind of saw it from a distance ish not really though but when you're less than you're 10 feet away from the barrel of a gun it's like it's different it's very real it's very scary and it's very like okay this is this is not again this isn't like a toy obviously duh but so I got in so I turned that turned into fear palms sweaty knees weak arms spaghetti whatever that lyric is it became very like I'm almost feeling paralyzed this got worse and worse and worse we're not even close to the shit show yet okay so I'm recognizing that I'm getting a little a bit of anxiety on my chest I know that I have a

pattern or I have a history not a pattern whatever I know that I my mind wanders and I can get intrusive thoughts that are very dark and scary and that's very normal for me that's just how my brain works so I'm like okay I know that I recognize that's happening and I'm like I'm safe this is a normal thing safe is such a weird thing to say to shooting range with like strangers but I know I'm like I'm aware that my mind is wandering I'm aware that this is happening but at some point your body takes over and you're like I'm having a panic attack and I've never had one before by the way i've never had like an official like crazy episode like that um so cory puts up his target he starts shooting he's doing very well by the way i was very impressed

because i've never seen him shooting on before like that so okay all right target acquired target um man down um this is definitely a kill shot boom boom boom every single time hell yeah this man can protect me let's fucking go um saw it on a singe profile now I'm seeing it in real life it's all connecting now my brain I'm like my man so I'm kind of like focusing on Corey and his shooting and I'm like okay wow good job honey like but I'm also like feeling fear and then the fear turned into this is where it gets weird and I did not expect this and this is how this is the part where I'm like I was not reacting to the situation in a normal way and this is where I'm like studying my brain like this is like is this schizophrenia like literally I'm like

what the fuck just happened to me here because like this was not a normal response now I told you about how I had the dark intrusive thoughts about getting shot by one of these punk ass kids like anyone any any second could just turn around and shoot you and you're dead that was very real for me and I was in fear for some reason I was probably in that room for under 10 minutes I think I lasted maybe like eight minutes in there focusing on court I'm trying to focus on that and then I just kind of noticed myself zoning out unable to really look at anything my hands are really fucked I'm getting my hands are sweaty just talking about this my hands are getting really sweaty I'm just kind of like leaning

back on the stool up against the wall behind Corey and I kind of zoned out and I just started feeling numb my whole body got really numb my lay I couldn't really feel my legs my I noticed that first my feet started I couldn't really feel my feet that well my hands are sweating my feet are kind of gone and I just get really fucking sad and I get really I get I start getting sad and angry and I start imagining what it would be like because that room was giving like execution room like it's giving I hate that I'm saying it's giving like why am I saying it it's so like yeah again hi I'm on TikTok now and I'm chronically online just scrolling these bullshit TikToks and people are talking this way so now I'm repeating the same words they say it's it was

giving execution room and I'm sitting there getting sad and angry because I'm realizing that like this is like what it would be like to be in a room where there's no escape and you're next because you hear the shots firing you see these people shooting and you're like it's so fucking powerful when you hear a shotgun go off in a contained room like that it's bone it's it shatters your bones to the core it's so real and I was like kind of getting it hit me that like all the people out there in this world right now because clearly it's happening now in this world it's happening all the time I mean shit like this happens every day unfortunately and um you know we're just so safe and free here in America it's like fucking executions murders I mean murders do

happen here but like let's just talk about what's going on in Israel and Palestine like that's what I'm talking about I imagine like how these poor fucking people that died at the hands of that were murdered that were next in line that had to sit there and go numb because they're next and there's no escape and they're gonna die and I was almost my body basically went into I think for the first time in my life I realized what it would be like to get shot and how you kind of you almost not surrender to it but you almost like you face your death you face like and you just kind of again go numb you get it's almost shock and so what happened was Corey looks back let me get to the let me kind of it escalates by the way it escalates so this is all in my head by the way I'm just kind of

sitting there with sweaty palms and numb feet and no one could tell um Corey always knows when I'm he knows like the second he looks at me for a split second he knows something's off he has such a good read on me like he clocks it every single time it's like oh like honey what's going on like he knows he can read me like a book so he's shooting he just shot his targets perfectly kill shot every time yes yes king another tiktok phrase yes king he kind of looks back at me and he goes he goes how are you doing and I'm just like shaking my head back and forth like no just like not good he's like he's like okay and um he kind of walks over to me he's like and I just couldn't at that point talk I could barely move I was like again my feet were numb

and I remember he goes okay why don't you go he goes okay walk out go like it's okay just you go ahead and leave I'll pack up the guns so I was like I was I couldn't even think straight I remember I had sunglasses on the little ledge by the stool that were mine and he had a pair of sunglasses there they were both sitting there and there was this little bin and I remember like grabbing my sunglasses I'm almost shaking talking about this I remember grabbing my sunglasses I am shaking that's so fucking weird putting them in the bin and just kind of like not knowing do I pick up the bin and leave with the sunglasses I couldn't I didn't know what I was fucking doing I was so frozen this is not a good sign because if shit the fan like is this how I'm gonna fucking

react because this is not cool so I like I like don't know what to do he's kind of grabbing my shoulders and kind of escorting me and the guy the guy that works there is kind of like okay open the door for me and like you know I walk out I get into that lobby and I just kind of like walk over to the corner just kind of like still in shock of it all and the guy at the front desk was like he's like how are you doing I'm like I said it's not for me it's not for me and I just could barely talk and then I just needed to get out of there I set my headphones down and my glasses on the counter and I said you know just you know I think I said I'll like I'll try again next time or something I don't fucking I was trying to be nice because you know it's like

whatever so I walk outside it's a hot day okay I'm in jeans and and I'm Corey's coming I know he's packing up the guns I wasn't bothered by the fact that he didn't like rush out the door with me and like come to my rescue like I know I was I could handle myself like I know I just needed to remove myself I know he needed to pack up the gun so like it wasn't a thing without at all I'm making it sound like a thing because I'm even bringing it up but like I'm just always like considering what is the what is the listener thinking of our relationship and does Corey is he really being a good man like in that situation I would say he did everything perfectly um very he was very kind about this whole thing but also in shock about how I responded

so because it was not again normal this is very long-winded I'm honestly gonna like finish the story and wrap it because again I need to clean and go to hot yoga maybe I'll call him and ask him like tell him his experience with me dry heaving in the car okay so I okay I walk out to his car and first of all it was unlocked the whole time which was is that a red flag no was it yeah it was unlocked which was kind of not cool because whatever I don't like when we unlock I mean nothing was in there except like maybe some golf clubs but like I ended up not realizing that until like five minutes but I saw it basically what happened was this I like couldn't stop crying the kind of cry so I was I walked out

the door I was kept my cool enough to get out the door without doing this the second I went over to the car I kneeled down I just sat against the not the hood the front of the car the bumper the front fender whatever just kind of like squatted down she kind of folded my arms and I just I could not stop crying as if I just heard that someone died it was the or no it was no not that not that excuse me hold on it wasn't that kind of cry it was a kind of it was a grief cry it was a choked up sad grief cry where I and I was just so upset about these poor fucking kids that have died in school shootings how they had nowhere to go they're trapped and that's how they had to die it just it made me so sad how awful shooting

school shootings are and just shootings anywhere in the world like war it just made me so fucking sad because I realized how simple it really is it's as simple as pulling a trigger and then you're dead in a split second it's that fucking simple and it made me so sad I was just I was just crying almost like grieving for like these poor fucking people that had that terror that numbness before they died and how I almost without it happening to me let's be honest because like here I am talking about I'm fucking still kicking I almost like embodied that in there it almost took it almost came over my body where I was like, which I don't know what that's called. Like people are like, Oh, you're an M Jacqueline. This is so normal. You're an empath. You're an empath. I

don't fucking know what that means. All I know is that I think I can, I have, I have an, I have a capability to mentally go there or like emotionally or to put myself in other people's shoes so much to the point where I almost can feel their feelings. Is that being enough? I don't, I don't know what that is but it took over my body as if it was happening to me that's all I know and I got so sad and I also got fucking angry and I was getting pissed off at the same time so now I'm heaving crying grieving like this whole like thing about these poor people that have died and gotten murdered because of a gun and then by the way this doesn't change my opinion about guns and how because I'm I'm all for it that's why I went there I was like I want to know how to shoot a

I believe in the second amendment. Like I, you know, like I'm all, I'm not a anti-gun now. I'm all that doesn't, it didn't, I I'm aware of what happened. I'm aware that I had a bad experience. I wasn't right. It was too much too soon. It was a lot of simulation. Oh shit. She had a panic attack and a freak out. Now she's crying and poor Corey, by the time he gets out there and he, we get in the car, I finally figured out some locks. I like sit in the car and I'm just sweating. Cause there's no AC on, I don't have the keys and I'm just in them in my jeans like crying and sweating and he puts his guns in the back and by the way I saw that punk ass kid come out with his case and put him in his Audi and I was just like fuck you I don't know why

it like pissed me off so much it's like bedazzled well it was like iridescent purple but like I was dumb I just didn't I like hid from him by the way like he came out of the like this is how like insane I was like he came out of the front door with his briefcase of guns and I just like positioned myself by Corey's car like so the guy couldn't really see me because obviously I didn't want to see me crying but I was also like you just you have a ton of guns in this case right now that's scary so yeah poor Corey like he gets in the car he's like he's like are you good I'm like no and I just was I I it took over me I was just like just fully like like I couldn't I was like heavy breathing crying it was gross crying it was like ugly crying and I here's what honestly

I haven't talked about October 7th before on here I haven't talked about my opinions about what's happening over in Israel and Gaza I haven't really I've never spoken openly and publicly about it but to be honest obviously I've seen all those videos I've seen all those horrific videos of babies getting blown up and people getting shot and just bombs blowing up buildings and half you know bodies cut in half and like heads explode I've seen the most graphic shit coming out of Israel and God like in Gaza like so I'm obviously fully aware what's going on over there like I'm I'm not publicly it's not a thing here on my podcast but I'll be honest like in that moment in the car when Corey got in and he's like are you good and that crying really

took over me and the sobbing I could fucking cry right now this is so dumb I'm a double cancer I'm an emotional fucking girl I have my placements are very watery and emotional and that's just what my signs say about me as a girl no but I was just like I was just imagining all these fucking poor people over there and just like the horror the horror the terror they go through just from the fucking shooting range just for me walking in that door that it gave me perspective and I think I almost needed that because it's so we're so far removed from those situations from those environments of death where i think that range was the closest thing i came to like

you know being in that environment where you know your your house is getting raided and hamas busts through the door and shoots your dad in the head and fucking takes out your mom and you're next and you're like oh fuck i'm dying and you realize your death and have that whole like terror moment so that's why it was very real for me it was very emotional for me it was a very psychotic i mean i can't even how does that happen like i i actually like to try to like shout out reddit because like i literally had to i was trying to the thing i love about the internet is like you can find answers for everything right you can find communities that have similar thoughts that as you do and shit so i'm literally like on reddit reading a forum about

or gun range experiences and this like old dude was talking about one time how he was like way too emotional in there and he had to leave he's like in his 60s he said I'm like okay well I'm not alone so that made me feel a little better but you know Corey said this does happen like the guy at the front desk said it does happen like I remember that he goes are you good I go no that's just too not for me not for me it's too scary he goes you know it happens it's totally fine it happens so I'm not alone that's why I'm talking that's why that's why I love this internet playground that's why I love this podcast it's like you truly no one is unique in this in this on this planet no one is no one is special like we're all the same we all have similar

experiences fears joys like hopes dreams like goals like life experiences and so I think that's what I'm realizing is like lately I'm not I'm not and also I also I've been this way since day one like I'm not worried about admitting to my crazy like I'm really not because my crazy isn't even that it's not crazy it's human right like that it was a very human reaction a very raw human crazy uh irrational let's call it you know I've been told in my life like oh you're a drama queen I've been told oh you're I've been fucking told you should get checked in like you're bat shit you're manic you probably have bipolar you're being a narcissistic asshole diva queen like I've been told it all I've been told it all like you can't make me

I think what keeps me my rudder whatever the thing that keeps me from feeling like I'm actually insane is that I'm aware I'm so aware of it all I'm so understand I I have a lot of compassion for myself and a lot of like love and and I and and I give myself so much TLC about how wild my emotions can be sometimes and irrational because I realized that like I'm just a human going through life and not everyone not everyone is a stoic like nothing affects me I'm just I'm perfectly sound of mind and I'm just a robot and I don't feel anything I don't have emotions or empathy for other people I think no so I I'm fully aware I'm fully um you know I think I do have a way of when I maybe not get emotional, but I think I trigger people's

things in them. They, they don't, they haven't been able to like face about themselves yet, or what is it called? Like you basically, you're a mirror. Everything's a mirror, right? So I mirror things back to people that I think makes them uncomfortable. And that's when they lash out and go, you're a manic, you're crazy, you're bipolar. It's because I'm probably calling out poor behavior I'm probably standing up for myself I'm probably in a very simplistic yet highly analytical way explaining their piss poor behavior I'm just thinking of specific situations right now by the way out loud to them and I'm expressing how it impacts me and affects me and again it's a trigger and so then they lash out and you're bipolar you're crazy and I'm just trying

to solve problems I think at the end of the day I'm always just trying to like keep the peace all the problems lay everything out on the table make everything copacetic and so it's like to a fault right but yeah too smart for my own good this is like now I'm like bringing up my like other shit like it's nothing has nothing to do with the shooting range story it's like this one time I got in an argument with my with a family member and so that was a story it was a shit show fucking shit show the day before my birthday so and I ended up going to TJ Maxx and Ulta that night and it totally me crying about the fucking poor ass poor people literally so fucking poor so fucking vulnerable poor disadvantaged

got the shit under the stick in life I'm talking I'm literally dry heaving in my fucking Range Rover about that and then I go okay I gotta undo this I don't like this icky sad feeling so like honey can I go to TJ Maxx and old and shop for my birthday. I got to tell my story. I got to be authentic. I got to be real. I got to be honest because I truly feel like I won the lottery in life when I really think about it. Like I know I'm well ahead of a lot of people in this world and I, and I just, I think this story is a reminder about like how in those moments of like real fear and shock and paranoia and and everything like all all that bullshit all that like glitz and glam and good life and

I'm getting married we just bought all that like stuff I labeled myself as and things that prop me up and make me feel good about myself and all the the shiny things that make my life feel good go out the fucking window and it doesn't matter it really it puts in perspective what matters and I think I needed that I need that perspective I think that's the thing like dude perspective is everything it's fucking everything and sometimes I get frustrated myself I need to wrap this up so I do want to call Corey because like, I'm going to get emotional right now and cry. And I like, don't want to do that at the end here. But like, sometimes I get fucking pissed off at myself because I, in the grand scheme of

things, I know it's all relative, right? Like your pain is still painful. Your struggles are still struggles to you because that's your, because of your life experience and that's relevant to you and whatever but if you compare it to someone else who's literally living in a tunnel surviving struggling dying oh you have nothing to complain about right so I think I needed that perspective or I'm trying to like make a make a moral of the story here find the silver lining because I think lately I've been honestly like this is real like real reality hour real real talk what the fuck this is like honesty hour like I've been finding myself which is out of care it's very uncharacteristic or out of sync with really the way I typically am I think I've been

making things a problem that aren't even close to being a problem like I'm being negative about stuff I'm being like whiny and complaining and negative and you know and it's just like shut the fuck up like make and I told this to Corey yesterday because I'm like I'm really working if you can't tell like I'm really working on myself right now it's like a new thing I'm doing I'm always working on myself but like I'm really like I'm in this shift of like dude I want to I fixed all my bullshit through this podcast but now I want to fix my other bullshit that's come up since then like there's it never ends you're always a work in progress but like I told him that like I need to make the most out of this stressful time

this stressful beautiful time because or I said like that's the that's the that's the solve like there's a lot going on I always feel like every day is chaotic and my to-do list never gets done and I'm behind and I'm just like really trying to like kill it right now and on all in all areas which is like again with my whole pro I've talked about this before my whole like I always overcrowd my plate and I always have these high expectations of myself and then I don't meet them and so then I feel down about it and then I get bitchy whining complaining about it because I'm like so stressed out and it's like well I'm basically what I told him is like because I had a day yesterday that was very chaotic it was very like oh my god just

just stuff just life just things just you know and this is so dumb but I like made a TikTok in the middle of it all and I was like this is so dumb this is so fucking stupid I don't care but I was realizing that like just because life is crazy just because life is stressful just because life is chaotic like social media never sleeps no content creation never sleeps no like you have to prioritize your the things that are important to the things that you can't put everyone before you have to prioritize yourself and your needs and you have to make sure that you fit that in and make the most of the situation so that's what I'm doing now and that's cool so I'm gonna call Corey and let's put him on the spot and ask him

what it was like to have his fiance have a mental fucking breakdown of the shooting range and I hope answers because it is the lunch hour which means oh sorry hi i'm just doing our lunchtime phone call how you doing i'm good are you on the cast how do you how did you know because your voice changes i know when you're on oh and how you are normally are you in a meeting it sounds like there's people we're in a little bit we just finished though okay so I have to ask you a question okay I'm kind of putting you on the spot right now but it's not like a big deal you can just answer it however you want I'm really making this sound like a big deal how was it as a fiance taking your fiance to the shooting range how was it to witness what happened to me like what was

that like or like what do you make of that well I mean I felt bad at first you know like it didn't mean for it to scare you that much but we'll have to just easy into it I was surprised that you uh you know got a little shaky and had to leave but I'm glad that you're open to going back again trying a second time yeah we just have to like baby step it yeah it's hard to baby step that i know you have to like rip the band-aid off i was excited too i really was yeah well what about the dry heaving in the car and the bawling about people dying and that was that's that seemed like it was a lot but you know it is what it be it is what it is what it be and don't don't ask why if you know how goodbye all right well that was very insightful thank

you for tuning in or thank you for calling in was that not exciting enough that's true no like i just think i just talked about the whole situation like in a ton of detail and walked through my experience with it all and i just from your side of things like if i went obviously like if i witness you doing that i'd be like dunzo like if my man is crying no i'm actually it just wouldn't happen like you're the one leading me there you're the one taking me there it wouldn't have happened but yeah i'm experienced with guns i'm around them a lot i hear it a lot so to me it's as long as you practice the the proper safety you're fine but you haven't been in that realm before so okay what if i told you the statistic so to make it sound like i'm a little

less crazy and this is just the top of google this is an ai overview so i don't know how accurate this is but it's uh according to z zd firm.com around 430 people die each year in the u.s due to unintentional firearm discharges its shooting ranges 430 people that's the stat wow i haven't unpacked this and like read the zd firm.com article or whatever but and then roughly 27 000 unintentional firearm injuries and 500 unintentional firearm deaths happen in the u.s each year wow so that's not nothing it's not zero no but it's not from the shooting range it says well the first stat was around 430 people die at the shooting ranges what's unintentional firearm discharges that discharges like that's

one though that's one yeah it accidentally goes off and then you're like not being smart and you're pointing the gun up and then you shoot yourself because you're you gotta always have that barrel of the gun pointing downward right you know so yeah you can't be stupid and like waving it in the air and go and then you you know accidentally think it's empty and that's why you can't take anyone's word for it you always got to clear it and check it yourself right oh yeah well i'm gonna i'm gonna like deep dive into this stat because i don't know where i need to like look up the actual like origin of it but it makes me feel it makes me feel like a little less crazy for being scared in there okay but love you love you guess what i'm gonna do now what clean the house

for the barbecue clean it honey get it done get it done all right goodbye bye wait no like we can't end this way okay you know you're doing great keep cleaning and uh goodbye i have i have hot yogurt 4 30 okay well i'll see you at 5 30 that's perfect timing okay i love you okay i love you okay bye i can tell he's deep in the middle of something zdfirm.com where the fuck is this from zinda law group how often do people that seems like so many i'm sorry that 430 people i mean i don't know that just seems like why does it seem like a lot it just

for that's a lot of people the gun deaths no one wants to discuss cranes cleveland business i guess there's like suicides of the gun range yeah I'm looking at this image here of a gun range and there's like kind of like booths between the people like or walls like you don't or I guess was that the way it was at the at this place kind of I don't know it just wasn't very enclosed I mean I want to be in like my own chamber my own like bunker like bulletproof bunker in there like I don't want you know some joe schmo on the side of me just like you know willy-nilly shooting so yeah that's what happened

um i don't know it was a moment it was a moment it was a good experience but like i said one of my one of my goals in my 30s because as i've pushed to my or as i've now i'm completely completely out of them but as I have grown up into my as I grew into my late 20s I noticed that I became more and more of a scaredy cat compared to when I was in my early 20s so like I think that is because as you get older you have more to lose or you're more aware of your death I don't know but in my 30s I just want to like I think that's a muscle I need to flex I need to exercise I know I talked about this last week like it's so it's such a six all successful people have this they like push through that fear that discomfort they force themselves to do it they rip that band-aid

off they go for it they don't they don't live in their comfort bubble which I'm really fucking good at and I'm really good at being successful in my comfort bubble and I tell myself I'm being successful in my comfort bubble like to me it's like I I think we all do this to ourselves like we have these big goals dreams aspirations and what am I saying is this now the self-help oh my god sorry um you kind of like justify everything I'm good at justifying everything like but I'm smart enough to know that that is my downfall and that that doesn't get me anywhere so like yeah I can like justify and explain myself but then I have to go okay well fuck all that I'm not doing that I'm gonna go a different route I'm gonna push push through the fear and go through

the face the bad habit face the bad behavior face the whatever fucking thing I do that I that's not good even though I can justify it and make a change that's why I'm smart that's where that's the difference between smarties and dummies is is taking that action towards being better doing better acknowledging your faults and your shortcomings and champing ahead in this life because you have one shot one opportunity to get everything you ever wanted or let it slip is that arm spaghetti knees weak arms pilates my arms and pilates are like spaghetti wake up bitch I'm sorry I was a little loud all right that's it that's the episode thank you so much for hanging out it was a little dramatic a little chaotic a little bit you know the intro is a lot

so if you made it this far thank you so much for hanging out I have a lot of fun with these episodes like honestly I feel like this is a good one a very it was just like a cool story I think something different um so yeah thanks for hanging out I appreciate your support it means a lot I love your dms I love just knowing that the podcast helps you in some way it's a source of entertainment source of a friendship on a virtual bestie uh situation um everyone's in the friend zone that's our situationship right now here um what am i saying i'm zoning out yeah it's cool so thank you for your support it means a lot we're we're going we're going into year four on september fourth so i do not take your support lightly or i take it it's because of you guys that i still do

this. And with all that being said, please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now. I'm on Apple, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Breaker, Overcast, wherever you listen to podcasts, please hit that subscribe button. I post my episode every Friday. So it's a once a week show. Make sure to subscribe. Review the show five stars right now on Apple or Spotify before you go. Review it five stars. Follow me on TikTok and Instagram at Jacqueline Monroe and subscribe to my YouTube channel, The Jocelyn Monroe Show. That's it.

Love you. Thanks for being here and I'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone Yeah, I know there's no turning back

I don't fucking take smoke I'm a poker holder You choking's overdue Come at me and you won't get any older Dude, crack your hold or two Heating up inside of me Blood so violently Thanks for trying me

Now it's finally time to see How this rivalry becomes my dynasty I know there's no turning back Oh God, adrenaline wasted So mad I can taste it I know there's no turning back I'll do what it takes I ain't making mistakes like that

I'll bleed on your face Just to make you go take it back I'll lose my shit I go crazy when I'm mad And now you can't wish You had shut the fuck up real bad And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back