The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 38- I'm Cam Newton

Episode Date: October 11, 2020

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic 

Episode 38. Welcome back to the podcast. what's up guys it's Jacqueline happy Sunday welcome back to the podcast how are you doing all right get your little ears ready for this shit happy fucking football sunday everyone guess what jacqueline's in her bathroom she just got out of the shower i have wet hair and i really want to watch football right now uh but i have to podcast i have to show up i gotta do this i gotta i gotta show up for the fucking job and i do this seven days a week and i have a note here i wrote on my phone start off something deep if it was easy everyone would do it and that's what I'm realizing like

it's not easy to try to podcast on a Sunday when all you want to do is relax and watch fucking football but you know what I'm doing this for the greater good of fucking humanity and here I am mom I'm sorry I've already dropped like four f-bombs I'm gonna work on it um guys this podcast is gonna be short and sweet I'm gonna you know what I'm not even doing a coffee fact I don't even have coffee just gonna talk about like what I did yesterday and then like actually do you guys even care like I it was Saturday I basically podcasted I worked out podcasted chilled chilled and slept that's what I did so not much to talk about yesterday I can't really remember anything groundbreaking that I did so let's talk about today see I woke up I

worked out same shit all right let's go into the notes I took well I took this during the during my workout today uh I took a note I wrote a note down I was watching the football like the NFL I don't know the boy gang that talks about the games before the games start so I was watching that on the screen while I was working out I just did treadmill like speed walking to country music and I was really see that's what I like to do this is like going and two tangents at the same time but I kind of like listening to country no I do like listening to country music when I'm working out in the morning because I feel like it really it helps me remember my values and you know my strong American values and um anyways is that dumb

it's like the the lyrics are they just talk about the important thing in life and in the morning when you're working out I think that's good to listen to instead of you know rap music with that's like do a late night workout with the rap music do the morning stuff do gospel music or do country all right moving on um i wrote this note here though while i was watching the tv of the although they're like the ex football players that sit around and chit chat about football on nfl or espn or whatever the fuck and i took a note here that says it says matt matt house matt hasselbeck is hot i wrote that on a note to tell the podcast former uh Seahawks quarterback I used to you know watch him back in the day and of course I was like

10 I didn't know he was hot then and then now I'm like shit he's a good looking bald dude nice looking I don't know how he's probably 46 I don't know how old he is let's do a little google search all right matt hasselbeck i mean for a bald guy he's hot born september 25th 1975 age 45 i was close did i say 45 all right i need to turn that off my neighbors are they're going through some this is this is they don't know this but this this overhearing my podcast every day is going to turn into some it's going to manifest into some trauma later um I don't know why I think that but I do okay so he's 45 but yeah I was watching him on the tv while I was working out and I was like damn he's good looking good looking bald dude

all right anyways so that's on the note today here's another note I wrote oh I didn't tell you guys this about last night so what movie was I watching see I can't remember shit I was watching something, oh, I was watching Dave on, uh, what is that network, Showtime, Hulu, I didn't remember, but anyways, I, uh, was watching Dave, Lil Dicky's, uh, show, and, uh, he made, like, a TV show series about his life, and I was watching that, and this is so random, and I was, like, dude, I get, I get in my feels at night about believing in myself and like, this is stupid. So literally I'm like watching Dave and I'm sitting back and I'm in my feels thinking about life. And whenever I start thinking about, I want to believe in myself more and I want to have a better, like a higher

self-esteem. And so whenever this happens, I get on rappers, Instagrams, and I get on football players, Instagrams. So last night I was on Cam Newton's Instagram, like getting so inspired I was like yes he believes in himself I want to believe in myself like Cam Newton and I was going through like all of his like workout videos he posts in black and white they're all like inspiring and shit and I was like on his YouTube channel watching his videos literally while I'm watching Dave I've got Cam Newton's content on my fucking phone in front of my face and I was like okay shit so uh I just I just like really oh um you know I want to be I want to be like that I want to be like a pro athlete who just they're they're relentless about

being successful and being the best and I just look up to that I really admire that so I wrote on I wrote my a note on my phone about that because uh that's what I did last night it was just stalking Cam Newton all night great looking just great looking uh quarterback um really excited to see how this Patriot season works out with him as the new QB um so another reason I mention that is because, ah, um, I, I, uh, I, I was on the treadmill for a little bit too long today. I worked out for an hour and 40 minutes on the treadmill and, um, I blame Cam Newton and then inspiration. I, I, it was, I overdosed on inspiration on his fucking profile last night. So I was like, go Jacqueline, go forever. And my endurance is crazy. As you guys know,

I've been doing lifting like consistent heavy weightlifting for the last, I don't know, like two months a month and a half pretty much since the gyms opened back up in California and I've been feeling really strong right but now I'm like I'm missing my cardio I used to do a lot of you know running and shit and it's crazy how like I haven't ran in I don't know yeah like a couple months now and my I could go forever I'm like I am Cam Newton I'm an I'm a professional football player I'm just like he wouldn't stop now so I'm not gonna stop now and I pushed myself so fucking hard, I felt really, uh, I felt great about that, so, yeah, that's kind of what I did this morning, um, I'm running to fucking country music, okay, yeah, just, uh, um, moving on to my

note, I'm not really, you guys, I don't really have my shit together that much today, um, let's see, something else I wrote, I don't subscribe to a set way of thinking, I'm willing to change my opinions but I'm a realist and rational okay open-minded open-mindedness gets out of control I need a moral realistic compass I don't know I wrote that really late last night I mean I don't know that's true I I say a lot of shit on here and then I'm always I I try to verbalize the fact that I'm not set in my ways and then I'm willing to change my opinions if I learn new information that contradicts my beliefs like I'm one of those types of people that's like okay i'm willing to learn more and not be so set in my mind like your

your beliefs are a prison if you or your um ideas in your head about shit are they um they aren't you so don't be so attached to them you're okay i don't know why i want to get deep now i was just on cam newton and endurance and shit and now i'm like don't be setting your ways don't be a fucking old dog that can't learn new tricks okay so I wrote that note this is like from one note to the next what else did I write oh I meant to elaborate yesterday on leggings um now I'm gonna start now I'm gonna get bitchy so I wrote a note here that says elaborate on Gymshark leggings all right I'm not looking for a Gymshark sponsorship so I'm not afraid no if you have no fear Jacqueline just speak

your mind right now okay so we got an issue ladies with a crotch hiking up the crotch on Gymshark leggings it's it's not it's not it all right I know Gymshark is is famous for their camel toe free fucking seams on their pants and I respect that it's been a long you know I've lived I've gone through hell for most of my life trying to figure that situation out all right and I don't you guys know this I said this in like episode two I don't wear underwear under my leggings like I don't like those are the thong panty lines are the new panty lines okay just go just go free ladies let it let you're gonna wash your leggings anyways like you don't need underwear and leggings anyways it used to be like a camel toe cover-up now I'm just like whatever if it shows it shows

it's you know fuck it but anyways these Gymshark leggings oh my god so they're all the I'm talking about um the colorful ones it could be any kind but the way they people are hiking these crop their crotches up so people I'm speaking these are women wearing them I'm speaking on behalf of other women okay uh maybe does anyone else notice this or is this just something like I'm hyper focused on this crotch situation anyways they hike them up so high it's like they have this bulge in the front and it doesn't look flattering and I just want to say like girls like just don't hike them up so high I have a pair what are they I have the vital seamless I I think. I have the ones that are like, they're classic Gymshark leggings. And it's a slippery

slope. The higher you hike them up, it just makes you get, you get a fucking FUBA. That's what it looks like. All right, I'm going to say it. What does FUBA stand for? Let's figure this out. I'm gonna google it all right I'm not seeing I'm getting a scientific description of what causes a fupa excess fat over the area right between your hips and your pubic bone is sometimes known by the slang term fupa fat upper pubic area there we go so anyways that's what the gymshark leggings make your your vagina look like all right moving on I just had a note in here on my phone to write about or to speak about that so you know now you know um note here I want to interview people I want interviewing people to feel as effortless as solo podcasting I don't

want to be overwhelmed just put a headset on and have fun so I'm already getting my brain prepared for having other people talk on this because I think a piece of me is like it's overwhelming there's more shit involved with like microphones and technical difficulties and I don't know like zoom recording and I I don't I mean compared to mining fucking coal I got it pretty fucking easy so I shouldn't be complaining about this or like worried I guess but I do think about like here's what I've recognized a lot of podcasters set out with a like today I'm interviewing this magical person of the world who's so knowledgeable about this topic and we're going to talk about it so their whole mission in the podcast is to like hit a topic home and educate people and entertain them

right and Jacqueline's like dude I just want to talk to people about whatever like literally invite my best friends over and be like hey like do you want to just like talk and record this right now and then boom upload it I just want to have conversations like see wherever that you know take it wherever it goes or let it take us wherever it goes and so I wrote a note about that like effortless podcasting Jacqueline's getting anxiety about having guests but yo DM me if you want to be a guest and I'll uh I'm accepting audition tapes by the way don't just say you want to do it you got to send me you got to send me your um a video of yourself I need to know I need to know if you got got it or not got that that comedic sauce and that fucking charm because

you know what that's what's working for me now double down on your strengths Gary V would tell me to double down on my strengths and I got that comedic sauce and that fucking charm all right so I'm on I'm on a microphone seven days a week okay okay um hey guess guess if I've ever experienced childhood trauma before. Just leave a comment below. Um, let's see what else I wrote on a note here. Oh, concert feeling, all caps, big energy, connectiveness. So I wrote that yesterday and I'm trying to recall what that meant. Connectiveness, big energy, concerts, connectivity, what the fuck um I think I was oh I know I wanted to remind you guys of what I said really early on episode like five probably where I was like the best feeling in the world or like the best

situation to be involved in with other people is like concert energy live entertainment live performances and of any kind that feeling of like it's so hype hypey it's so like exciting and there's so much energy and love and people just wanting to like hang around each other and just like kiss each other and all that fun like fuzzy shit and um that's what I'm like realizing I've got that shit that shit missing in my life now that there's a limited um live I can't like the the COVID shit locking everything down no more concerts Coachella that kind of type of shit which I never went to but like other concerts and stuff um so I was like Jacqueline emulate that experience for your listeners I'm like dream big Jacqueline you know go above and beyond what would

you do to exceed their expectations every day like how could you bring it so much that it's like that concert all over again those 2019 concerts everyone attended like make that happen for them that's where my head was at with my um how much I I need to bring it every day so uh that I wrote that note on my phone this is the I wrote that note on my phone podcast I think I wrote that to remind myself to bring that kind of energy today and I think I did um let's see what else I wrote I do have a note I have a handwritten note in my notebook here I love meetings I know what I was going with this I feel like I've been training for this my whole life so what I wrote that for is because okay fucking who does this time out I gotta write

I gotta put a little pin in this on my notebook to remember okay I got something to say I I have a lot to say obviously but like okay when I was listening to Sophia with an F's podcast Sophia Franklin former co-host of Color Daddy she was talking about how like um no no no no no no excuse me not her so wait I do want to talk about her but Dave made a response to that right but I was thinking about it and like everything is so like scripted and the way she was doing it was like she spent the last seven months doing like rough draft after rough draft or if exactly what she's gonna fucking say and I'm serious oh my god guys can I go any longer on this tangent my point of saying this is like I'm like I'm the podcaster that shows up with a notebook and a pen

And as I'm podcasting, I'm like writing shit and I'm like, I'm telling you guys I'm reading notes and she was, Oh no, no, no. I was saying this because Sophia was ratting out, uh, Alex for having a ghostwriter on the show and like having a script. That's why they could never do video because it would show Alex reading a script. Um, so anyways, I'm just saying, Oh my God, I know this is my ego talking right now because I'm like, yo, I'm so different. I'm so unique.

I use a notebook live on the podcast. I don't give a fuck. um okay so the meetings thing I know a lot of people hate people that love meetings right when I've reflected on my um work history thus far no when I like go to my LinkedIn and browse my former jobs I think about how much I loved any time we all came together for a meeting like I love that shit I love sitting around and talking with people so that's why I feel like um I've been training for this podcast my whole life or like recently because I'm basically taking my favorite part about working at an office and like working with other people and I'm just doing that

every day I'm talking I'm talking for a long time every day so that's kind of cool that I wrote that because I was just like when I interview people it's going to be even I'm going to be even more happy you guys don't even know like I'm going to be this is fun by myself now but like people are gonna make it just so funny and so fun and I I want to like break people out of their shell too like I don't know just I don't know um I have my sticky note here last note I'm gonna read and then I'm gonna check my uh football scores hold on wait for it I'm gonna check my football scores and then I'm gonna I'm gonna read some DMs and then end this for Sunday because I want to keep it short and sweet I wrote on my note here um

my sticky note I think I read this episode episode three everything ever is about storytelling I wrote that that's what I realized you know me podcasting now 38 days in a row I'm like all anyone wants to do out there if you're listening is sit around a campfire with their with their friends and family and talk and tell stories like everything is about storytelling everything and I've worked in I you know I've like sales and I've I've been in the behind the scenes of like building a business and I know that's what it's all fucking about you can tell a compelling story if you can make people feel something you can connect to them emotionally through a story then you got you got a successful business model all right and Jacqueline is like

look I I love telling stories like talking to shit I like sitting around and bitching about society and telling you guys all my insecurities and all the shit I've been struggling with and I hope that's helping you in some way I gotta go back to that you know what I'm saying like it feels selfish to do this and very self like soothing or self what's the word indulgent but I think it's helping you guys I think it's like I know it is I mean you guys send me messages enough in fact let me check them now because I said I was going to do that but like I didn't realize how like similar we are or whatever like people are like I I feel like I'm talking to myself, or I'm listening to myself DMs, um, oh gosh, just looking out for you, oh, someone

corrected my spelling, get it, Legolas, yesterday at the gym, I posted a picture, I can't believe my hair is wet right now, but I posted a picture, my hair looked like, uh, Legolas from Lord of the Rings, um, last one, I asked someone what their, he, I got roasted for liking the Seahawks and uh I asked what his favorite team was he said the Panthers of course that's Cam Newton's former team correct correct me if I'm wrong let's check this out let's do another google search Jacqueline's learning about football and she's um I'm just really uh what am I saying sorry I'm trying to google and talk at the same time let's look up Cam Newton Panthers I'm pretty sure I had that right did I have that right boys

Cam Newton Panthers right for like nine years yeah I knew it played nine seasons with the Carolina Panthers fuck yeah dude I know my NFL triviology

trivia he's great he's great I was watching his YouTube videos he's got a nice personality he's just he's got some he looks like the weekend you know out there with his hair spiked up great teeth I mean why do you all I feel like every pro athlete has a beautiful smile it's just because they're happy that doesn't make sense your teeth imagine

imagine if like your teeth reflected your depression levels so the more crooked the more depressed you are and then they would straighten if you oh okay listen up god if i was if you were to if we got an upgrade an ios upgrade of the human software system uh if this ever happens please make it so people's life quest or life journey is to get straight teeth so they have to stay happy they have to the happier they are the things they choose to do in their life because everything is a choice including happiness things they choose to do in their life straighten out their teeth over time and it's like this quest to get the straightest teeth as soon as possible like imagine little toddlers competing to see like who can get straight teeth the fastest oh

my gosh they don't even get them till they're like how old do babies get teeth when they're like two right i don't know wow that was a dumb little segue after commenting on cam newton smile but yo what are the nfl stats and i'm gonna end this or the scores right now just to refresh my nfl.com page dude all i do is talk about football i'm one of the boys you gotta watch out girls that are one of the boys you gotta watch out for most girls don't trust those types of girls and that's not really how i am to be honest i'm a girl's girl at heart like i am that but um when you got 90 when you're when you're a shrewd businesswoman you gotta you gotta know your audience all right i got 99 90 percent male

listenership out there so i gotta talk about fucking football right got 20 to 7 rams oh there's a hot guy in the gym today with a rams hat on so that's funny i noticed that and i remembered that you have that hat eagles 14 14 steelers quarter two oh i'm not that stressed because we're only in the second quarter here it's 11 16 a.m i gotta end this podcast because i really do want to watch these and i just figured out my uh tv my subscription thing i figured out how to stream all these so that made no sense but if you listen to like episode 14 i talked about how my um i was in the middle of watching football and it was like your network or your provider isn't you don't subscribe for this or whatever the

fuck i don't have cable i don't have any of these channels or anything so anyways behind the scenes Ravens information. Oh my god. So yeah, any other games that I'm like freaking out by right now? Bengals. Oh shit, Ravens beating the Bengals 0-17. Ooh, Raiders Chiefs, good game, 21-17. I'm calling Kansas City and the Seahawks for the Super Bowl. I said that yesterday but i really i'm seeing it packers potentially if anyone else i mean but you know what i got now i'm like well shit after stalking cam newton i gotta really pay attention but pay pay attention but pay attention to the patriots again because i was like ah brady's off the team i don't give a fuck anymore but now i'm obsessed i'm now i'm like deep into the behind the scenes

lifestyle of cam newton through his uh his like youtube videos and his shit like that's literally why my calves hurt right now fuck you cam newton you know what i was on the treadmill this morning and i was thinking of you i was like he wouldn't give up now i'm not gonna give up now and then i made a personal challenge to myself i was like jacqueline well you know you'll stop when your headphones die so that happened and then i was like going so i was just going forever i went you know, how many, an hour 40, and my calves, yeah, my calves hurt because of Cam Newton, and honestly, go Seahawks, he's, if they go to the Super Bowl, so there'll be Cam Newton versus Wilson, Russell Wilson, and he's a, he's a vet, he's a vet now out on that Super Bowl field, so

I'm thinking, I'm thinking Seahawks are gonna take us here, all right, guys, I need to fucking shut myself down. Um, I don't really have anything else. How copyrighted is this? Does anyone know how that works? I have no clue how copyright, like, I don't know how anything works. I've been in the industry for so long. I've been creating content and doing this shit for so long. I still get confused. I feel like it's, it's like, well, if it's under 15 seconds, then it's fine, so whatever, I don't know, technology, rules, laws, I don't know, um, isn't it crazy that, like, we used to download so much music off of LimeWire, I just, so, so, uh, it's like, so long ago, okay, I'm, like, just clicking

my tabs, looking for stuff to talk about, I'm not paying attention, great way to end the podcast, Jacqueline remember LimeWire all right guys I love you happy Sunday have a great relaxing football Sunday and go to oh yeah if you want to support the show if you had fun with me today patreon.com slash TJMS become a patron get a shout out get other perks all my exclusive picks but don't make it to the Instagram they go to they go to patreon all right and then you can go to YouTube and watch this look at me with blue sunglasses on and my bathrobe on sunday and uh leave a review on this podcast and what's the last thing i have to say subscribe to the podcast if you haven't subscribed already all right guys happy sunday i love you i'll talk to you tomorrow for monday's podcast

all right today's patreon.com slash tjms patron shout outs go to Ricky Jensen, Trevor Garrett and Eagle One thank you for your support guys I really appreciate it it means a lot seriously

I'm so glad you're enjoying the show and you like what you're listening to every day so thank you thank you thank you to infinity and beyond and I will see I guess I don't know these are always an awkward ending so I will talk to you tomorrow for your Monday podcast.

All right. Bye.