The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 386- RED And GREEN Flags From A Newlywed

Episode Date: November 9, 2024

What's up, guys? It's episode 386. Welcome back to the show. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. Here's what's going on, okay? Trump won the election.

Anyone? Is that a good thing, a bad thing? Are we yay or no? Okay, so however you feel about that, Trump won the election. Oh my God, this is a lot. Okay, so there's that. daylight savings has brought us back to the darkness and if you didn't know Arby's

the deep fried turkey sandwich is back at Arby's we're gonna start this off today so those are the updates with what's going on um let's hear from a trans woman this is way more important than what I just talked about Trump won today is a crazy fucking day as a trans woman this is like especially crazy and we'll get into it i know a lot of you guys are either very happy or a lot of you guys are very sad and scared and mourning and don't know what comes next but let's get into it if you're freaking out and scared i want to offer you a little like bit of encouragement just that you may not have considered trump won the popular vote he won like 70 something million views last night during election people will say whatever

they want about their opponent and their voter base so they can win we've been hearing for like 10 years now that every trump supporter is racist and homophobic and bigoted and horrible if that was 100 true we would live in a very different place right now of course there are racist homophobic bigoted people mixed in with these people but by and large these are normal american hard-working people who like who are like kind and love other people and like minorities and like trans people and gay people most people are just minding their fucking business and want to be able to pay their bills but the people on the left a lot of the issue they ran on was like abortion i think abortion is so apartment apartment i think abortion is so important

and i'm very much pro-choice but to say that everybody on the right who voted for trump hates women and hate wants women to die because abortion wasn't their main issue that they're voting on this election that's not true or accurate or like fair to say about people if they hate people because they didn't agree with you and also kamala was running as like the reproductive right queen but what was she gonna do like roe versus red was overturned it's been made a stage issue so what was she really going to do anyway she was using all this emotion and all this hype to sell herself when really what what power did she have to change what's happened as far as the trans issue there are a lot of people on the right who don't like us who aren't

vibing with the trans people but how are they supposed to react when the left on one side has like made it like normal and readily available for kids to transition and for them to be on hormones and hormone blockers and like kids can't decide to get a tattoo because they have no concept of the future when you're 12 you have no concept of being a 25 year old when you're 20 you have no concept of being 35 so how can a child making these lifelong decisions now like if if my child came to me and they were like 12 and they said they were a boy and they wanted to be a girl i would say okay babe what do you want your name to be let's go buy some dresses queen let's let's get some fucking makeup let's tell all your friends and family what your new name and

pronouns are but would i put them on a medical transition at 12 probably not and i think most people are pretty agree with that on both sides like i don't know i just want to let you guys know that it's going to be okay whether you voted for kamala whether you voted for trump whether trump won or not whether kamala won or not we were going to be fine either fucking way this is america all of us for the most part are basically sane we just have different opinions on like slightly different things but for the most part we all hold the same values we love one another we're trying to work hard we're trying to pay our fucking bills we're trying to have fun every once in a while we're trying to fucking live fucking free ho anyway yes bye we're trying

to fucking live free ho we're trying to fucking live fucking free ho such a queen love her love the message um yeah that is that's where i'm at what she said and we're not going to talk about by the way we're not going to deep dive into the election i'm not going to make this a political episode. Okay. But I think at the end of the day, it's all going to be okay. It's all going to be okay. Right. Do I want to say anything? Wait, I want to give myself this space in a moment right now at the beginning of the episode. I did say I'm not making this political episode, but do I want to say anything I just hmm I don't want to no I look I just feel like the reactions I'm seeing are a little bit extreme like I'm a woman okay and it's hard for me to see other women sob online

because they don't feel safe now and they are saying that all of their rights are going to be stripped away now that Trump's our next president so like I'm struggling with that I'm trying to understand the logic behind that and I'm getting nowhere because it doesn't logically make any sense to me um so yeah that's kind of what's wild to me it's just the reaction from this all um but I have to give people the benefit of the doubt we're all you know thrown into these super biased cherry-picked echo chambers of algorithms and subjects that are fed to us every day and you know it's it's all very convincing it's all very easy to get suckered into and um emotions are powerful emotions are very powerful I think where I'm at is at the end

of the day this is a country and it's a country like this is not a bake sale like where I don't know like it just it's there's so much more going on in the world there's so much more to it than obviously what most women are crying about which is abortion rights which I'm look I'm so fucking pro-choice it's not even funny I do not want a man ever telling me what I should do or not do with my body. I think that is wrong. I am so against that. Like I, but when I, when it comes to voting, when it comes to looking at the country and the state it's in right now, that to me is a tiny little piece of the pie of what really needs to fucking, um, be focused on and what really needs to change. So I can understand though, again, I understand where women are coming from.

I understand. Cause I feel the same way. Like I literally, I do feel the same way, but, um, that's not for, in my mind, in my own opinion, um, uh, a reason to just like cast a vote a certain way. Um, when there's so much more that needs to be addressed in this country and fixed and yeah so um I guess we just did the little political segment in the beginning in the beginning because it's fresh the election was on Tuesday it's Thursday November 7th right now we're deep into the holiday season because it started on the first okay the Christmas season starts on the first if you're new to the show I'm a November 1st is Christmas bitch and we do have a Christmas tree on set today and a very tacky like old school Christmas sign behind me

with a snowman I love tacky classic Christmas by the way like I'm not a neutral beige Christmas girl like I may I want red I want green I want tinsel I want gold I want silver I want all the colors just I want all of the like it's not even tacky it's like what we grew up with it it's so like warm and homey when you have little tchotchkes that are like you know like snowmen and reindeer and Santa Claus and all that kind of stuff just like puked all over your house that's a way to do it so that's the vibe we're curating today in my home and that's where I'm at with Christmas okay so what else is happening this episode by the way is gonna be great I'm gonna do a couple life updates and then we're going to get into relationship green flags and red flags from a

newlywed because as you know I just got married and I have a list I have a list of all of my green flags all of my red flags when it comes to dating men and my tips and my advice because I'm on the other side now and I'm I don't I haven't dealt with a fuck boy in a really long time because I dodged all those bullets and I finally figured it out and I found a husband. So yeah, we're going to talk about that. That's going to be like the main topic of today's show. And I already feel myself wanting to crawl back to the abortion topic and the election. And do I want to say this? If you're even getting online and posting about, or just complaining and crying about Your rights being stripped away because Trump is going to be our next president.

Just remember that women can't speak in Afghanistan, OK? Like. Y'all need some perspective and some education on women's rights and what's actually happening in this world to women. That's I know it's still not ideal that it's now a state's issue and some states don't allow abortions. And I, again, I'm not stoked on that. I think it should be across the board legal and easy and free and accessible to all women. I am so fucking for that. But at the end of the day, if you're even coming online complaining about it and crying about it and going to the extreme saying that like women are dying, which yes, that is true. yes there there are stories out there very awful stories of women that have died because what's going on with with abortion control and bans and and all of that which is it's so fucked up this whole thing is fucked up and I again like I don't just because yeah okay Jacqueline yeah some women

have it worse in the world so what are you saying like just remember that like remember when you come online to repost a story or a cute little meme that's aesthetically pleasing to look at about women's rights and we need to fight, fight, fight, and we're going to lose all of our rights. Now we're not safe because Trump's back in the White House. Just remember the women in Afghanistan that literally can't fucking talk. And you're doing just fine. If you can even repost a story, you're doing just fine. If you can even repost a story and your state doesn't abortions this is the thing though i think in texas they come after you if you cross states to get an abortion which is really fucked up but like you'll figure it out it'll be fine

like you'll figure it's it's almost like how many abortions do the democrats plan on getting like how many abortions it's like it's all they it's like the only focus it was the only to me just seeing what i was just seeing the conversation online during this election was like all people talked about and I'm like damn out of all of the issues in the U.S. like this is the one we're the most concerned about how many abortions are y'all trying to get or plan on getting and I get it's the principle just the fact that women are being told you know what they can and can't do with their bodies the fact that now if because it's a state's issue like now you can be free in some states and not in the others like that's not America that's not how it should be right like

that's not that's not good I get it I get it just remember that there's a lot of worse shit in the world and oh my god it's just the emotional wrecks people are having over it I'm like the extreme language around I am not safe now I need to start I need to go like now women now women are all about the second amendment now everyone all all these women crying about their rights they're all they're all getting their uh they're all packing heat now okay now they're worried about their safety now they're like learn how to shoot a gun so it's it's extreme the language is extreme in my opinion the reaction is extreme I don't get it I'm trying to like have empathy and compassion for it because like yeah

I'm a woman and I don't agree with men telling us how to fucking what we can do and not do with our bodies like fuck that forever fuck that but um it's gonna be just fine like it's it's gonna to be just fine and I don't think it's a slippery slope I don't think that these people in power go to bed every night dreaming about how they can ruin women's lives and how many rights they can strip away like it's so irrational the way people talk about the subject and like get your head on straight have some emotional like control that's what people need they need to learn how to control their emotions do their research put their thinking caps on and like take a breath it's gonna be just fine okay so that's that's that on that what am I drinking today I'm drinking a

hi girls I know I just probably pissed people off but I won't piss you off with this I'm drinking a pumpkin spice latte okay I'm drinking a Chobani creamer y'all y'all know and love the Chobani sweet cream purple container creamer I am drinking that okay we're using a lot of straws today because I'm wearing lipstick and I don't want to get this all over the place so I'm drinking a pamplemousse LaCroix and a pumpkin spice latte okay I have a full bead on I'm wearing a leopard print top and yeah you can watch this let's do the plugs right now you can watch me on youtube and spotify this is a video podcast last week we crapped out in the studio here but we're looking at a couple new lights which i'm really excited about we've got some new lighting set up so

let's do the plugs please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there five stars please even though I just might have pissed you off five stars it's okay it's good it's good and healthy to listen to people that don't agree with you okay we need to get back to that in America like it's okay okay like this trans woman said like we for the most part agree on everything in this country like most people are like pretty cool with each other they just have like little differences of opinion on certain topics it's not extreme it's not people act as if it's to the extreme

to the extremes it's really not it's just like little things you disagree with with someone so please hit that subscribe button where was I follow me on tiktok at jacqueline monroe instagram at jacqueline monroe and subscribe to my youtube channel the jacqueline monroe show for the video version of this podcast. All right, let's get into it. So what have I been up to? How has my November been going so far? Let's just say that now that daylight savings is here, am I depressed? Yes. No, I hate it. I fucking hate it. Every time this happens, I'm like, it's like 3.30 PM. It's starting to get dark. And I'm just like, why, bitch? why why do they do this to us but because of this daylight savings I'm embracing the darkness

and I'm embracing the fact that I don't know if you're like this if I don't know if you relate to this but when it's dark in my house when it's like 5 30 p.m and it's dark in my house I'm like I don't want to do shit I'm not going to clean I'll make dinner sure but like I'm not I don't want to like be productive I don't want to work I'm like done right so what have we been doing this week we've been watching every single Lord of the Rings movie start to finish starting at like yeah 5 30 p.m we're just like we want to watch Lord of the Rings and we put it on and there we are 5 30 like till 8 30 because they're like three hour long movies so we've been watching we watch the we're watching them out of order we started with the two towers

two towers we just watched Return of the King last night and then we're gonna do the Fellowship of the Ring I think tomorrow we'll fit it in or maybe tonight so we're kind of we're going two three one and then I think we're gonna watch uh Corey we're like looking at each other we're like why don't we watch these like epic medieval like cool you know your Harry Potter's your Star Wars your Lord of the Rings he's like why don't we do this more often like we should like make this a think so I think all winter long we're gonna hit up every single cool trilogy series um like what would you call it the um fantasy type shit we might even watch Game of Thrones I haven't seen it he started it he hasn't finished it so I'm like well maybe we'll get into that too so yeah

we're not on our crime docs right now we're on our Lord of the Rings shit and oh my god the appreciation I have for those movies now that I'm older is like crazy because when I was a kid they terrified me and mind you I looked it up Two Towers came out in 2001 no 2000 that's actually crazy it was called Two Towers in 2001 it came out no Fellowship of the Ring came out in 2001 Two Towers came out in how did that work how did the public receive that like the Two Towers is the name of the movie came out in 2002 which I was so I was in second grade so like when I looked that up I was like that is I just blacked out I was like there's no way I was in second grade when I saw Lord of the Rings for the first time and I remember being so terrified like those

damn orcs would terrify me I like couldn't watch I I watched it but I was like not watching it I was like trying to you know I was closing my eyes most of the time but um now that I'm older and I've rewatched it a few times since then but and how now they've like reformatted it and like fucking 8k I don't even know if 8k is even out but I'm like obsessed with it now I'm like oh my god like that just I can't believe the graphics were this good I can't believe Orlando Bloom was that young like like it's just a mindfuck watching it now that now that I'm 30 so that's what we've been doing at night that's the current shows we're watching those are the current shows we're watching what are brain cells oh my god I have this book by the way I bought called um

it's called like the well-spoken thesaurus or something where it's like instead of saying this say that because I want to work on becoming a better orator in 2025 I'm already working on my new year's resolutions and that is one of them so I don't know I don't feel like I have a lot of brain cells today I can't explain why I'm just like kind of spacey the brain is spacey it's also like 12 30 and what do you guys know about 12 30 p.m on any day of the week nap time right so um but I was up to a lot of stuff this morning um I've got a lot of excited I have a lot of exciting content coming up that I can't wait to share with you so that's kind of that's what I've been working on the background of everything um we went to this new Asian fusion

restaurant last weekend and I don't know if you do this with your significant other but I know you do this I know every couple does this but or just like a guy you're dating but we always do like a post social outing debrief gossip session it's usually like positive it's usually we're just like talking about the other people we hung with right if something happened we're going to talk about it you know if we have like a thought about the people like we're going to say we always talk about it after it's like a natural thing you do especially if it's a new couple you haven't hung out with before so anyways we had such a great time with this couple this he was friends with a guy and um I think he met his wife for the first time but they were great we had

a really nice dinner and I was thinking about it because we were talking about this other couple we hang with and I was like you know what I just had a thought I was like sometimes this is this is like the message or this is the thought I had it's like don't don't judge people super hard when they're clearly in a funk when they're at a party or at a dinner or like if you're out socializing with them like don't judge people that hard about it because we've all been there like we've all been to a party before where all you want to do is like sit in the corner and like sip wine and just be be alone or like just not you just you're not really into it you don't really want to talk to people you're just kind of like you know you're not in the best like

mood but you're there because your husband dragged you along or your wife or whatever like you're you're gonna show up it's like you know it's a birthday you don't you're not gonna miss the birthday party right but you're just kind of out of it yeah I was thinking about that other couple and I was like you know I noticed that sometimes with the wife and I like her like we have a great time 99.9% of the time we're hanging out but like every now and then like there's something on her on her brain she's like in a funk and I like don't I don't think that's a reason to like write someone off or think they're not cool or fun like because especially if they're super social and they're always doing shit like they're tired like they're they're just like they work hard they're

tired they've got a lot but maybe they have kids you know they're just like but they don't maybe they don't know how to say no and like protect their peace and stress levels and they say yes to too many things and that's why whenever because we go to all the things like it's just maybe one of those things but um yeah we've all been there we've all been in a funk at a party and we're just like kind of like we don't want to be there and it's not a reason to yeah like write someone off and think they're like like there's something wrong with them you know so um and I noticed that like if I see someone in the corner just like being to themselves like I'm not like yeah I'll say hi to them or whatever but I'll like let them be because like sometimes if

that's me I just like don't I'm just like thank you for not trying to like include me and like talk to me a lot and I'm just like you read it's like you read the vibes and you're like okay they're here they're you know they're obviously like just something's going on just let them be okay so let them watch tv or do whatever they want in the corner it's fine they're fine um so that's yeah we went to that Asian fusion restaurant it was super cool um that's what we did for date night so we were watching lord of the rings we went out to a new restaurant in san diego it's called aka aka aka i think aka aka i think cory told me it means red in japanese cannot confirm that but it's a cool new like vibey place downtown so um that's

what we did for date night guys my dermatitis is so bad i've been talking about this my perioral dermatitis it's like 10 out of 10 I've never had a skin condition before where no matter what you do it like won't go away like I've had acne like you know I've struggled a little bit with that but not where it's a fucking rash that's crisping off your face every day and I have a dermatologist appointment next week for it and I'm hoping I can get a new prescription or cream or something because it's like to the point where I'm putting on makeup to go to the gym and I never do that I never put on like maybe I'll pop a pop a little concealer on is it here and there but like I'm just embarrassed I'm like I feel like a teenage kid I'm like I'm embarrassed by my

skin I've never and I now that I have this I'm like damn when women I like see a lot of skincare videos and tips and stuff and people talking about their rosacea and their dermatitis and I watched a Haley Bieber video where she's like yeah I've dealt with this for five years or whatever I'm like damn like now I get it so that is unfortunately what I'm currently struggling with on in the skincare department and it happened I think it's because I overdid the stuff before the wedding the skincare the facials the I did like microneedling at home which I think could have potentially flared it up I don't know so um speaking of next week I have like six doctor's appointments because I'm having surgery the following week and because I'm having surgery

the following week I have to prepare for Thanksgiving we're hosting Thanksgiving here here this year at our new house and worst timing ever couldn't be the worst it's like the timing of the surgery with Thanksgiving could not be worse but anyways I have to prep all of the food before the surgery and I have to prep it in a way where it can just be like thrown in the oven because I'm going to be out of commission for a minute. Um, so yeah, I'm excited about Thanksgiving. I thought about it. I'm like, why don't I just make like a thing, a Thanksgiving pie, like a big ass pot pie. That's got like all of the Thanksgiving food in it, in it where I could just like throw it in the oven and be done. Cause I don't want to, I there's no way I'm going

to be able to like make a huge turkey so those are the life updates um what else is happening I'm like yeah I'm working out like same shit working out in the morning hanging with the dogs we're going to the park a lot we're watching a lot of movies um oh yeah we're doing like house stuff a lot of house improvement home improvement projects now that the wedding's over so we're still on that train um yeah it's been good married life is good it's like the same thing I just feel I think that and I said this a lot I think I've said this every episode since you just feel like it everything's the same but there's an overwhelming sense like especially the day after we got married there's an overwhelming sense of peace you just feel like

like it's like relaxing. I don't know how to, that's like the best way to describe it. It's just the sense of peace. So, oh yeah, we have to plan our honeymoon. So we're doing that next year and I, yeah, we're like trying to figure out, we know where we're going, but we don't know when and what we're going to do. So that's kind of, oh yeah, we have Mexico coming up and New York and then Montana and then Mammoth. We're going to go skiing a lot this winter. So a lot's going on in the travel department coming up. Like all we want to really do next year is travel. We're like, we bought a house this year and all we've worried about this year is the house and the wedding. And next year we're like, all we want to worry about is how many planes can

we hop on and how many like countries can we travel to? And you know, we just, we really want to travel travel travel because it's like been a minute and we need it like I'm craving it now where for a while I was like I could go I could go with I like a little you know little short trip in the states here you know whether that's like going to Florida or back home to Washington you know or we went to Hawaii like those are like chill trips but I want to do like non-chill super foreign like don't speak the language kind of trips all next year like I want to be on a plane every week no like I think we'll probably do we'll do a handful like four abroad trips we might just do a euro summer and say fuck it and we'll be gone for three months I don't know

that's what I'd love to do but it's tough it's like tough with the dogs and logistics and work and um yeah so that's what's that's what's up that's what's going on um now relationship green flags and red flags let's do it um I curated a list here because there's a lot actually this might be too many for the episode there's like 60 I I did I took my time with this like I really like thought about it. Cause I think it's easy to spit ball off the top of my head. Cause there's like some obvious green flags you should look for in red flags, but, um, some of them aren't so obvious. And I feel like there's a lot of them here that you might not think about when it comes to dating. So yeah, let's get into it. Like I said, in the beginning, I don't know what the

fuck boys are doing these days because I haven't dealt with one in a really long time, but I'd have to imagine it's all the same shit that I've been through the whole like who's on their following list why do they follow so many bitches like why did all the girls they follow why are they all blonde and I'm brunette and like what the fuck and you know why doesn't he text me back or like he texted me three hours ago but he hasn't responded like all that shit I'm sure it's all the same okay so here are my tips as a newlywed as a woman who like found the one and how did I know he was the one and what did I look for and what were the green flags when I started dating Corey you know and what are the red flags when you're dating what what do I what do I think you

should pay close attention to and avoid when it comes to dating men so this is the first thing okay this is the first and most important thing if you take away anything from this episode listen to this okay be who you would be if you weren't trying to get a man to like you okay be whoever you're gonna fucking be be whoever you would be if you weren't trying to get a man to like you okay that will make you so hot okay because you have to understand men are always gonna do whatever the fuck they want okay so we need to match that energy as women we need to do the same thing that men do they do whatever the fuck they want they're the main character of their life they're on their own path and they're gonna pave their way however the fuck they want to do

it so as a woman you need to make sure if you're going into your dating years if you're going if you're dating right now if you're recently broken up with and now you're single and you're going back to dating like make sure whatever choices you're making right now for your life be whoever the fuck you would be like imagine do anything be everything do whatever you want chase your fucking dreams number one do that as if with no there with no purpose or no intention or no underlying motivation to get a man to like you. Okay. Does that make sense? Like just be yourself, be authentically you do whatever the fuck you want. Number one, do that. Okay. And it's not, so number one, don't worry about getting a man to like you

at like live your life. I'm repeating this a million times. Cause I'm really trying to hit this home like act as act as if you don't give a shit if a man likes you or not live your life that way okay that's number one because men do that men do that anyways why are we gonna contort and change and make ourselves and turn ourselves into a certain version of ourselves to because we want a man to like us okay now also men they do whatever the fuck they want but there is an underlying like they just want to they they do certain things a lot of their motivation is for social climbing and like getting pussy so like they kind of do that too but like it's also to make other men like them and respect them because they're like it's all about social

climbing in the men men's man's world so there's that um but yeah so that is number one be who you would be if you weren't trying to get a man to like you. Um, number two. Okay. Whoever you're dating, whoever you get involved with when it comes, whoever, whatever man you get involved with dating engaged marriage they have to be such a net positive to your life they have to be such a positive improvement in your life by miles okay it has to be like if it's not, if it's, if they're not, if, if your life isn't 10 times better when they're around leave, I'm sorry. Like it is not worth it to just have like a buddy that's hot and you're, you fuck them. And it's like, Ooh, you know, he's my boyfriend or whatever. It's like, no,

they have to bring you, they have to bring your life up. Okay. It has to be a major benefit to your life when they're in it or else it's not worth it leave okay that is huge number three they want you the guy you are dating wants you to have your own life your own shit going on they genuinely want you to live your life do whatever the fuck you want with your life be who you were gonna be before them before they met before you met them right like I said in the beginning and they also want you to have your own back they want you to have your own career your own money they are pro that and they are very supportive and very adamant at you achieving that they don't want to feel like now that you met them you're just kind of like in their back pocket and

you're just a tag-along girlfriend and you're just kind of like you put all your life goals and dreams on hold because now you're with him and he's just taking care of shit and planning dates and now you're shacking up and now you're living with him like they don't ever want to feel they want okay well I can't speak for all men but like you you want to be with a kind of man because that's good for you right I'm coming from a place of like what's good for a woman in her life it's good that you have your own shit going on and your own way to make a living and make your own money and have your own thing okay even if a man can take care of you and a lot of women are seeking that a lot of women just want to be a housewife they just want to be taken care of

they don't have to do anything they just want to like raise babies like I get that but have your own you want to be with a guy that because look this is what happens if your whole identity is your house and your kids and your cooking and your planning birthday parties and your activity coordination and your like if that's your whole identity and you weren't that when you met the man you're dating and you were like a career babe and you had like a cool hobby and friends and you were doing a bunch of cool shit on the weekends and you had your own life and stuff Like that's what he was attracted to. So the whole like when you settle down, yes, a lot of things change. Sure. But you want to maintain a sense of identity that's outside of the family structure, the husband and wife structure, the household structure. Okay. So that is so important. And you want to be back to the advice here, the green flag.

You want to find a man that is supportive and like helps, um, push you to follow your dreams and get your own bag. Okay, cool. Next one. This is just like in all caps. I wrote down, do not chase a man ever, period. Never chase a man ever. Okay. I don't have to, I don't have to explain now. I've, I've read this a lot. Okay. I've read this a lot and I, and I do believe it. Okay. And I don't know, it's hard to imagine me and Corey this way, but like, I think the most successful relationships, like long-term relationships or just female, male relationships in general like i'm talking about like well no this could go for any type go for gay uh straight uh anything really what else is there like polyamorous like fucking

um like in but i'm speaking from like heterosexual like traditional relationships when the man likes the woman more or is like if the woman's like kind of playing hard to get in the beginning and she's like maybe she's like exploring her options and she's like you know this guy just like keeps knocking on my door he like wants to go out with me like he like that energy is good and I think that that's sustainable long term like you want the man has to clearly want the woman like a lot so you should never feel like you're the one knocking down his door to date him. Just because of how we're wired, that's just my opinion. You should never chase a man. Okay. Next, next, uh, advice. I don't know if these are like green flags, red flags. I'm not

going to label, maybe I'll label some of them, but like, this is huge. This is like, they're all important, but like, this is huge. Okay. If they ever make you feel bad, leave. if they ever make you feel like shit leave if you're ever crying because of something they did leave like that's that's is that extreme I think that is like it's an idealistic viewpoint on relationships and dating a man but like literally you should never feel like shit about yourself you should never feel bad and sad and like what the fuck you know like you're like crying to sleep because of something he said to you or did to you like get out like that is there's just no especially in the okay this is especially in the beginning okay because that's gonna

if it's happening really early on that's a that's a bad sign okay now I understand long-term relationships there's a lot there's a lot of life lived together and experiences and there's highs and there's lows with like life stuff and there can be stress with finances family just dynamics of maybe you have kids and there's a whole new layer of stuff to deal with that you didn't have when you first started dating so I understand like long term the bickering the fighting the that kind of stuff is probably I think that's it's obviously normal and it happens but in the beginning when you're dating, if they make you feel bad, leave. Okay. Okay. This is a red flag. I just thought of this one. If you ever sleep on the couch or if they ever sleep on the

couch, leave. If you're going to bed and they're going to bed under the same roof, but in different locations, leave. Okay. There should never be a situation where someone sleeps on the couch because they're pissed off at you or vice versa. Like, no, leave. Not healthy, not good. Oh my God. When you're dating a guy, especially in the beginning, this could, this is, a lot of this is especially in the beginning because these are like the things you look for when you first start dating someone. If you ever screenshot a text, leave. This is like extreme. If you ever screenshot a text from a man and send it to your girlfriends to analyze and to give you feedback on leave like if there's ever confusion about a text where you're screenshotting it leave in addition

to the screenshotting of the text if you ever write in your notes app while you are dating a man and the notes app includes the note on the notes app has to has the the subject line has if it has anything to do with that man you were dating leave okay now let me just like bring you into my dating life and my or my dating history in my past like i can't until i met Corey 100% of the men I have dated before I met my now husband Corey what I 100% of the time I was dating other men I was a notes app bitch I was a screenshot and texting the front group bitch like I constantly was like confused and trying to figure out what things meant and I was trying to like get advice and help with the man's communication and like what I should say

I was even writing in my notes app and this was in long-term relationship this was in relation like this wasn't like oh just month one this was like 10 months in I'm writing text messages in my notes app I'm drafting up text messages to my boyfriends in my notes like that is leave okay not good if you ever are if you're if you ever screenshot a text from a man and send it to your friend leave now this is a green flag okay when you meet a man and he's if this is about like end game like how do you know this is if this is the man you're going to marry. Okay. It should feel relaxing. They, just their energy, their aura should be relaxing. Okay. I always say this, but Corey, when I'm around Corey, it feels like I'm sitting

in a recliner, a heated massage recliner at the, like the ones at the mall. Like that is how it should feel. They should feel relaxing. Butterflies are, you know, obviously in the beginning that happens that's very normal and healthy but like over time you shouldn't feel anxious when they come over to your apartment like you shouldn't feel anxious at ever like when you're on a date and they they come pick you up like I used to feel that way again like I'm I swear like every guy in the past like I'm like fixing my makeup before they come over to my house I'm putting on makeup or I'm like trying to I would go so above and beyond and be I'd be so like yeah anxious about them coming over and like obviously I would want to put my best face forward and like present

myself well and I valued that and I cared about that in those relationships just like I do now like I get done up all the time for Corey like it's and I do it for myself too like I whenever we go on like date nights like I mean last weekend I went I was like getting ready for two hours to go on a dinner date. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like I love that shit. But when you're like nitpicking yourself in the mirror before the man comes over to pick you up for a date and you're like all worried about how you look and you're just like really anxious about him or, or when he drives up and you have that like fight or flight response, leave. Okay. That's not healthy. They should feel relaxing. Okay. You should just feel a sense of calm.

like everything should be like a hum like oh that was kind of beautiful I really you know I really like this episode I actually feel like I'm helping people today so um it's always a good feeling when that happens and I'm not just fucking talking about myself the whole time um okay another thing that's huge especially in the beginning is you should never like like with Corey I never was like waiting for a call or a text I never was like when's he gonna text me back when's he gonna call me like I wasn't sitting and like checking my phone refreshing my text messages all the time like waiting and waiting and waiting if you're dating a guy and you're just like not you're always wondering like why

wouldn't he text me back he said he wanted to hang out he hasn't hit me up he hasn't planned the date he you're you're wasting your fucking time like there's I wasted so much time just like wondering and we all do this we're all like hopeful you like a guy you meet him a couple times and you're just like oh I really hope this guy likes me back and you're like but you have to be almost like unemotional about it it's so hard like you have to just be like it's not easy though. And you're in it. Dating is so complicated and it's, it is all, it's all emotional. That's, that's the motherfucker. It's all emotional. Like it's

so easier said than done, but if you're, yeah, you should never wonder, you should never be waiting for a call or a text. And I think I'll add to this. If a man FaceTimes you, in the beginning, I never received an audio phone call from like a regular phone call from Corey. it was like every single call was a FaceTime and I was like oh that's different also texting oh my god oh my god Corey texting is huge let's talk about okay so phone calls I think a green flag is he FaceTimes you okay I think a red flag is if a man is like trying to get to know you through texts or did I just say a red flag or a green flag I just lost I can't remember I think a red flag is when a man is blowing up your phone texting you

like really chatty with the texts and the flirts the like sexting and stuff like that's like um okay there comes a point in time where I think a man matures out of that and I think this happens after they're like 35 probably it's kind of my age range 35 is kind of when I feel like that just they mature out of that like fuck boy like I just want to like get nudes and sext all day long and like flirt with you and over text and like it's cute right like it's flattering it's like we get like those warm and fuzzy feelings from those kinds of text messages and when I think about it though my past relationships were all built over the sexy text messages like the texting that's how everything was like built that kind of

communication style it wasn't built like like Corey like he would FaceTime me we had like a face-to-face communication like he would text me to like plan like dates and like talk about logistics it wasn't like hey how was your day he wanted to see me to find out how my day was so I think that was a huge green flag with him like it wasn't like the little like flirty text messages all day and I think every couple's different every relationship's different and like in the past like yeah it was fun and all but when I think about it it wasn't very it didn't have as much substance and weight to it than like when Corey would just like fucking FaceTime me that's like so normal and so like real then asking for nudes 24-7 red flag you know like um also like you can probably

relate to this but it's just like oversharing I don't I don't care but like in the past I think the sexy pictures the nudes all that kind of stuff I like I feel like I leaned more into that in my past relationships because I was like oh like this is what will keep him interested you know like that's I was just like oh like I'll be most girls don't do that so I'll be the girl he's talking to that's just like blowing up his phones blowing up his phone with lingerie pics and fucking tits and ass like I was like that's that's a bad strategy do not do that like there there's a type of man like you shouldn't if you feel like that's what you have to do to keep a man especially in the beginning like that's what you're like just leave bad bad sign okay um it's

so funny like I never felt that way with Corey like oh I have to like blow up his phone like that all day or like I did in the past to make him want me more or be interested in me because it just wasn't like that like it was so much more mature and like real and not it wasn't like uh he wasn't a fucking fuck boy so um next up they have clear intentions in the beginning, very clear intentions. Hi, nice to meet you. I want a relationship. I'm looking to get married someday. I want to have a family someday. I am looking for a girlfriend. I want to have a girlfriend. Like they need to be so fucking clear. Or obviously if they say, if you're looking for that, if you're looking for a boyfriend, if you want to find a meaningful, healthy

relationship, that is a major benefit to your life after you have been doing whatever the fuck you want without the intention of making me like you remember in the beginning if that's your path that's where you're at and then now you're ready to like date and find a man that is a benefit to your life and you can have fun with and you know live with and everything if you're at that place and that's what you want and they tell you I'm not looking for anything serious blah blah blah I'm just you know I'm focused on my career right now whatever they say like if you're if that doesn't align with what you want and you're looking and you're like trying to like date a man to marry like leave obviously okay but their intentions need to be crystal clear from day one

okay this is the big one I love this one because it's like my favorite thing about Corey and this was so obvious this when I first met him this was my favorite thing to observe okay so a huge green flag when you're dating a guy is how he interacts with strangers like from a distance not or when you're next to him sure you could be at the grocery store and he's talking to the fine but when you witness your man from a distance interacting with strangers just like how he is in that realm it says a lot about him right and it is one of the most in my experience the most attractive things about a man especially like another random thing that happened to me is we didn't meet like

Corey and I met on hinge so everything about how we met was very like calculated set up it was very like we're going on this app to find you know we're looking for dates we're trying to find a partner whatever and we set up the date and then we go on the day I never like randomly saw him at a bar but the one of the first times we went out to a bar here in San Diego I saw him like in the corner of the bar like ordering us a drink and I remember I had come back from the bathroom and I saw him like talking to the bartender just like over and I was like damn that guy's like really hot I was like whoa it's like the hottest tallest coolest looking guy here and I was like oh my god that's Corey that's my man and it was just like such an attractive thing to see from a distance

Cause again, I never got to experience that. Like when I first met him where, you know, it wasn't like we were in the same office and I saw him every day. I didn't get to observe him in that like distance way. So I'll add to this back to how they interact with strangers this Halloween, the way like Corey was, or he was helping out the, or passing out candy to the trick-or-treaters before me. Cause I was inside like making dinner, like helping the dogs or something but he I could like see him outside talking to the little kids and the parents and it was so cute and just like how he was with them was so sweet and so like special and just like he took his time with each kid and he was making these funny like voices and the parents were like

super like they're like oh you're so funny or whatever like just witnessing that if you are that is such a green flag like how your man how the guy you're dating is with strangers okay next up is his following list who he follows on social media okay now it obviously says a lot okay I I would highly take it into consideration who he follows on Instagram and not necessarily how many followers he has because I also another like green flag is a man who's not a social media guy a man who doesn't have social media is a major green flag like men that aren't really into it they're not really into posting or like they're not trying to like pop off on Instagram and you know that's in my opinion a major green flag because it's like why are you it's a it's for

the social media is for the girls okay and the gays that's men on social media like I get that okay the podcasters with the cool the good tips and tricks and the there's like a time and a place like I don't want to like alienate myself from all these like amazing content creators that are men but guys that are really into social media like I would just take caution and but back to the following list I think it does say a lot it says a lot especially if obviously it's a bunch of tits an ass and they don't even follow them back and it's like 90% of who they're following now I understand a few Instagram models hot hot hot big-titted big-ass broads like I there I I'm totally fine with that and I want to talk about something else this is like a segue

a side quest conversation in this like green flag relationship green flag and red flag segment Um, and I saw this, I saw this video and I was like, Hmm, how do I feel about this? Because every couple's different, right? Like every couple has their own set of boundaries and expectations in their partner when it comes to following people on social media, looking at sexy content, whether that, whether that's porn or, you know, bikini models or whatever, like ass shaking videos on Instagram like every couple has their own boundaries with that and I think when I saw this video it was like the woman was saying that you have no self-respect if you're if you're allowing that if you see your man doing that and you don't say something or

you don't nip it in the ass or whatever but like I was thinking about Corey and I and like a lot of the guys I've dated like I look at that shit too like I'm out there like if I see like a like I'm sometimes I'm like damn like look at this picture like I'm like Jesus Christ look at this her ass is like crazy or whatever like it's like a workout video or Instagram model like we'll show each other shit and it's like to us it's not a I'm not offended by it or it's not like I see my man like in his following like his back to following list like I also this is another thing another green flag is I didn't feel compelled if you feel compelled to check a man's following list in the beginning and you're like really like

worried about that maybe that's not a good sign in my case like I never first of all I never think to look at his phone and I never think to look at who he follows on Instagram have I yes like on his I haven't looked at his phone well I he shows me like we can give each other our phones we don't have a that's not weird like if he needs my phone if I need his phone who like it's not a big deal but yeah have I looked on his following list yeah in the beginning yeah I did but I didn't feel this like who's he following and I wasn't like who's this bitch like I never got that feeling but back to what I was saying about like like couples that or like if your man follows it's I think it's just like a natural thing to like see hot people and be like oh wow they're hot but like you're not

like oh I I wish I was with her you know I think some couples like I'll just say they think it's a hot it's like hot looking at other hot people is a hot thing it's like a it's like a it's a turn-on thing or it's like a we're like slutty like that like as human beings like we're like fucking curious or we're like into it like it's a sexual prep it's like a arousal thing it's like a it's not a like I cannot imagine like and we're so like in this world now where it's so available and it's like in our face all the time so it's so normalized to see people's butt cracks and tits and like it's just not a strange thing to come across anymore like a taboo thing but um I think we're I think we're desensitized to it a little bit like me and Corey like we just like see it

all the time we like show each other pictures we're like oh look and it's not um sometimes we're hyping it up we're like damn she looks like great you know like look at this chick holy shit like especially like I look at a lot of fitness content for inspiration and like workout ideas and sometimes I'm like I'll show him someone and I'll be like damn or like this is how I want my ass to look like and I don't make it like it's not a I don't think that makes me more mature I don't think it makes me better I don't think it makes me like a you call me a pick me but it doesn't I I don't I think it's also like I said I'm desensitized or I'm unfazed by it because I've just been with so many men where it's like yeah

that's probably gonna happen they're gonna be scrolling on TikTok and they're probably gonna be like for two seconds longer than you'd want watching bouncing tits and you're gonna be like what the fuck but it I do it too so it's like I'm looking at I look at girls more than more than I look at guys do I like seek out the muscle men on Instagram not necessarily like the muscle men you know what I mean like hot dudes like not really I'm more like where are the hot bitches at like that's what I'm like trying to see you know so I think it just all depends on like what you're yeah like what you're okay with and what would make you feel good or feel bad and um it doesn't make me feel it's not the thing is it's not a constant it's not like a

a problem it's like it doesn't phase me I guess or him like I even send like I follow this guy because he's got a lot of great fitness content for men i'll like send cory his workout videos this guy's like buff as fuck like super like he's a really handsome guy and he's like buff and everything and i just like and cory like follows him he like bought the protein he recommends it's not like a it it's not like oh my god like why is jacqueline like following this guy and watching his workout videos it's not like one of those things it's just it's information it's inspiration it's attractive people that are fun to fall like who cares it's not I don't make it a thing Corey doesn't make it a thing but if it's an issue in your relationship

and your partner isn't changing or I don't know I don't know what you do like what do you do do you just break up because of it men are gonna you just have to understand like we're they're I'm not trying to defend men's DNA and like how they're wired because I think it's it's so fucking annoying sometimes how they're wired but maybe explore it yourself and and like put yourself in a man she's like maybe you you'll enjoy like following that kind of sexier content or looking at it maybe you just haven't explored that side of your I don't know sexuality or like you're it's like a taboo to you still or um

it's like it rubs you the wrong way and so and you've never wondered why or maybe you're I don't know I'm a free-flowing individual when it comes to that kind of stuff just like sexuality and like sexy content and what I see on Instagram I don't I just don't give a fuck like I don't make it a thing now I don't think it's good for young people to be looking at that too early um did I just see in Australia they're trying to ban social media for anyone under 16 I think that's pretty cool but yeah I like looking at hot bitches just as much is my man so like what do you do I don't but I'm not like he doesn't just stare it's not like all I see is it my like maybe every now and then I'll see it but it's not like but he also it's just

like you and I like you'll scroll and you'll see something it's like you sometimes can't help what the algorithm gives you and I feel like it's anyways I remember I do remember though early on this is like we're gonna get back to the to the green flag and red flag list but I remember early on Corey was on Pinterest and that's when I first started seeing him look at rings but I also I also saw like hot bikini models in between the rings and I remember like going like this was like a month into dating or just um was he looking at rings that early probably I mean I wouldn't be surprised if it was month in but I was like oh who's that you know I always say like oh who's that and he's like oh I'm looking at outfits for you I always thought that was really funny

um okay everyone's got their own preference and just just communicate with your partner how you feel about that that's I guess all you can really do um so back to the list so I mentioned the following list who he follows um following and liking like there are some guys that I used to date where it's like every fucking picture of a woman and I was always on their following list that's how I figured out a lot of information about like if they were cheating on me if they were talking to someone else like I you can tell like girls know everything like we're so we're like so intuitive on that shit and you can tell by like the pictures they like and maybe they had commented in the past

like two years before you started dating them on this particular girl and now they're like liking your pictures again so you're like what's going on here you can connect a lot of dots through the following list. So pay attention to that, but like, don't be too psycho. And if you are like, it's probably, probably not supposed to be with him. So get back to the green flags, red flags. Um, I mentioned doesn't post a lot on social media as a green flag. Also, like if they post on Instagram stories, like a girl, like I said, social media is for the girls and the gays. Like it's, if a man is like always on his stories always posting on his stories like tagging you 24 7 and like posting you 24 7 I

don't know it's like a little smothery a little love bomb me a little like I understand like I think like with Corey like he never and I told him this because I'm like when we have kids like there's only going to be pictures of you and the kids because he doesn't intuitively like grab his phone and want to take pictures of like when I'm looking cute with the dogs like he doesn't he's not like a pictures guy he's not like a he's not a creative like social media like phone guy you know um so I think it's really nice like if a man is observing you and from a distance and like thinks you look beautiful so he takes a picture I think that's a green flag but if it's like 24 7 that's a little bit especially in the beginning it's like

possessive it's like they're love bombing you if they're just like all up in your ass tagging you like posting you like showing everyone like this is my bitch it's like week one it's like this is my bitch like it's kind of love balmy I would be careful of that okay green flags is obviously laughter a man that can make you laugh where it hits your funny bone in the right way like if their humor matches your humor nothing better that is so core to a healthy like relationship or healthy like you can have a you can i'm so fucked like cory it's like i have said this a million times but i knew i was fucked immediately not like fucked in a bad way because it's like

one of the most beautiful things that's happened to my life is meeting him but i remember in the beginning realizing like there's no fucking way it gets better than this i don't like waking up at five in the morning to a joke machine that doesn't turn off until 11 p.m the same day where like all this man wants to do is not only make me happy but make me laugh all day and it actually makes me laugh and it's actually funny like that's the best so if the man makes you like if the guy you're dating can make you laugh and it's real and it's genuine and it's like all you do all day long is laugh and your abs hurt all the time because of it and you're just like yeah green flag um

I used to just thinking of my past like the guys that okay I feel like most of the guys I've dated it was like they're I just like them because they were so hot they weren't funny they were just so hot and that just blinded me from everything else because like okay they're not that funny they're because like hot people are bored like a lot of hot people are boring you know they're like they just lean on their their looks their whole life so like I just remember so many road trips and traveling situations where we're on planes and airports we're abroad whatever where I was like so bored with the guys I was dating and it's funny just as I'm saying this right now like I want to call Corey I just want

to have fun with Corey and laugh with him and have a good time like like it's like a craving for it like the man is like it's it's like when it's addictive like when you're with someone like that it's like every step of the way of your life will is fun it's a good time even through the hard times like in the stressful times like it's fun they make life fun you just you never it's the best so um yeah back to the list am I this is like I'm doing too am I doing I feel like I'm doing too many tangents let's just stay on track here consistency the word of our relationship the number one thing that is consistency is the glue the glue that holds our relationship together it's our our main pillar okay consistency okay we don't have highs and lows we don't have

you know one night he sleeps on the couch the next day he doesn't one day he slams the door and screams at me the next day he loves me the hot and the cold does he like me does he not like me how does he act this day or is he gonna act like that today or is he gonna be cool like no it's even it's a it's the hum thing it's okay consistency and that might you might take that as like oh well that sounds controlling like you always have to be on your best behavior you can't ever you can't ever have a bad day no that's not what I mean it's how we treat each other it's consistent okay and alongside of the word consistency we have a another core belief in another core tenant that we are super adamant about. And that is that we don't do personal

attacks. We don't fight each other. We fight the problem. Okay. That's like, if a man is belittling you, pointing the finger at you, yelling at you, putting you down, doing anything that's negative directly at you or verbalizing anything negative or physically asserting himself in any way towards you that's negative like leave no okay we don't do that in healthy relationships all right um something that's a major green flag and honestly in 2024 like this might be the biggest green flag it seems super rare these rare to find these days but if if the man's parents are still together and they've been together for like 40 some years like long term and they still love each other and like each other and hang out with each other and they're like

you know and the guy you're dating had had a super normal childhood like that is such a green flag because like Corey had that obviously he has parents that are still together and he had a very normal childhood and um it's such a mind fuck because I've I feel like everyone has or most of the people that you meet nowadays it's like parents are divorced shit hit the fan there's drama with the family. Like there's always something. And when you, when you meet a guy that has always had a positive experience or like a very healthy, nothing's perfect by the way. I don't, obviously I know that. But when you meet a guy where he had a very normal childhood, a very normal upbringing, a very healthy family and like the dynamics were good. And it's almost like,

And I, I've had to, I literally went to therapy and I'm like, I mean, it was honestly, I had to be like, cause I had a, I have a rockier story. Okay. A lot rockier. And when you experience that, when you, when you're with someone that's, that grew up that way, when you get thrown into it and now you're not married to him and I'm with his family all the time and I'm seeing how things go I'm like it's like a it just you just go like oh like it's really that easy it's that simple like there doesn't have to be any like drama and negativity and craziness and weirdness it's just like always good that's possible like it's it almost is like you don't you almost don't know how to like it feels good obviously but you almost like don't know how to if you're not used to that

you're just kind of like whoa about it you're like this is almost too good to be true and that's when a lot of times women sabotage and they try to make problems out of thin air because they're like they're looking for that adrenaline that something to like fight for like feel because everything feels good all the time you're like I just want to yeah it's fucked up but that's on trauma and that's on our nervous systems like having being addicted literally to adrenaline when you come from that so yeah green flag is obviously normal childhood parents still together seems very rare these days but it is possible um let me see here oh another green flag is when they want to introduce you to their parents really early on

like I remember I met Corey's family after like two within two weeks they live here too which is nice so um yeah when when the guy wants to introduce you to his parents green flag um also like if their parents are cool and you like hanging out with them major green flag or his family just like everyone that lives under his what am I saying am I hitting a wall no I'm not okay yeah like it's always a plus when the parents are cool and you want to hang out with them and you can like go and just like go to their house by yourself and hang and it's not weird and you're not feeling uncomfortable and that's always a green flag um it's kind of like what I've said all this whole time like if you're confused if they like you leave it should be so obvious like there should

be no questions um a red flag to me is if they're in like a major party scene they like to go out a lot they always talk about their exes and there's they're always talking about like drama like whenever you're with them it's always like they're always talking about other people and like drama and they're just like out a lot and in that kind of like lifestyle you know maybe they're balanced maybe maybe they like yeah do you like them because they're like they work out and they like work hard and they but they also like to party hard. I don't know. There's something about people that are like, it just gives fuck boy douchebag, like party guys, guys that go out all the time. They're just like sleaze

balls. I don't know. Explain it. Like I'm all for like, like when Corey and I first met, we went out a lot. Like we, that's like what we did on the weekends. And I could tell though, like that wasn't his thing. Like he, he was a, like leave the party early, like let's go to bed on time kind of guy and I was like yes you know um so that always that's a preference thing personally I don't want a party guy I want a guy that like gets good sleep wants to go to the gym in the morning with me and you know like party we we go out a couple times a month maybe it like we especially now I feel like the fall like football season we're like doing more stuff we probably we do something I'd say we every week we do something but it's not

it's not the crazy party scene shit okay um what else here oh political alignment you guys I was with someone who said they didn't know if they could be with me or it says a lot about me and my character because I was scared of getting vaccinated like I was I had anxiety about it. Now I did get vaccinated, um, against my will. That's a different story for a different time. Maybe I'll never tell it, but, um, I was expressing anxiety about it. I was like, I don't know if I don't want to do this. I'm just scared about it. And he, the guy flipped it on me and was like, that really says a lot about you and who, who you are as a person that you'll,

you know, potentially put your, when you go back home for Christmas, you're going to kill your grandparents you know like because he was we weren't politically aligned the fact that the vaccine the vaccine was politicized by the way like obviously we all know that but um even now with this election i'm sure a lot of couples had strains put into their relationship because because they weren't politically aligned and they're sparring about it over dinner every night and it's like i think it's possible i don't know it's not ideal okay cory cory and i are definitely we're on the same page as fuck about our politics and he's also this is another thing I wrote so politically aligned is a green flag it helps okay it's not it's okay if you're not

but it it just depends on how vocal and and passionate they are about their politics if it's something they're like really black and white in and like and they're like and they shame you about your politics and they make you feel bad like in my past like the guy you know with the vaccine like that's not cool you don't want to be with someone like that um but to go along with this a green flag is a guy that's super open-minded especially when it comes to progressive ideas about relationships and the traditional relationships that we all you know grew up with or like were sold to the movies and whatever like when you express a new idea about relationship dynamics to the man you're dating and he's open-minded about it and he gets

it major green flag especially now that women are kind of like fuck all that That trad wife bullshit, you know, and like that oppressive bullshit that we've been kind of suckered into for so long when it's like for what? Like, how does that there's that's another podcast, by the way, like I kind of want to do a more of a deep dive on how I feel about this like 4B movement and women just saying like, fuck everything. I'm this goes along with what I said in the beginning like be whoever the fuck you're going to be or do whatever you want to do as a woman because that's what men are doing in their life without the intention of attracting a man and I talked about this like after we got married and I came out with my first episode I was like I have been brainwashed by the patriarchy and I'm admitting to that as a newly married woman like I was sold this idea that like my as a woman my

only goal or the major thing I need to strive for is finding a man and like settling down and And I bought into that and I lived a life according to that. And now that I'm educating myself on these other ways of thinking and being as a woman, what I'm saying is I'm now able to take what I'm learning and share it with my partner. and instead well this is like the best this is such a green flag if I share something and if you share a progressive idea that's that that is advocating for women that is supportive of women that's talking about anything like talking about women in general period like that's positive if you're saying anything if you're telling your partner something positive you learned about women and how women

should live their lives and like what whatever and if your partner is receptive and like they get it and they're like oh yes I agree major green flag and so I'm just saying like the fact that I can do that in my relationship and it's received well and it's not like shunned and like shut down is everything because we should all be able to grow and evolve and learn and change in our relationships with our partners you should never feel like you have to be in a box your whole life and so I have done a lot of growing and learning since I met Corey and he's learning along with me because I'm telling him these things you know so yeah major green flag is if they're open-minded and you can share new ideas new ways of thinking with your partner and they are receptive to it

and they don't shut you down and make you feel like shit because you think a new thought okay because we change our minds every day. Okay. We all do it. We learned something new and now we think something different. And the next day we learned something new that contradicts what we learned, what we thought the day before and it's rinse repeat our whole lives. And that is so normal and healthy. And so you shouldn't be with someone that's going to make you feel like shit about that. Okay. Um, they're just, you don't want someone who's stuck in their ways and doesn't want you to learn and grow and evolve as a person. So I said what I said. Um, another green flag is this kind of goes along with that. Like you feel safe enough to call them out on their BS.

So if you're dating a guy and he does some bullshit and you call him out on it, you should feel safe enough to address it. And then on top of that major, major green flag is that man takes accountability for what he did that hurt you not the man you're dating should not be hurting you you should not always be calling him out on his bs but if that happens because it's gonna happen especially in the beginning where you're still learning about each other and you're probably gonna butt heads on a couple things here and there nothing major right but when that happens major green flag is that he takes accountability apologizes and does not repeat the behavior okay You want a man who takes accountability and actually changes the behavior and doesn't keep doing it.

And now if they keep doing it, you're going to get worn out from it. And you're going to like, that's when you start writing the list of the notes app and then it's over. Okay, if they're always doing the same shit and you're always crying about it and you're always calling them out about it and you're all, it's just like, when are they going to, it's not, just take it from me. they will never change okay they will never change if it had if you've addressed it 10 times and they haven't adjusted their behavior and worked on it and corrected it or caught themselves like I recently started saying something this is me taking accountability accountability right now about something Corey addresses like he'll say something and like I will just go oh god just like that I'll just go like he'll be or he'll start to say something and the way he's

sometimes when he starts saying something it'll sound dire and like bad and like like oh no like oh what what is this gonna be so I go oh god and he goes stop saying that he's like like it's not bad like why do you say that and I think it's just a bad habit I'm in I just say it and I don't realize I'm saying it so the last time it happened I go oh I'm sorry you're right like I don't know why I said that it's like I'm not I'm just on autopilot with my reaction I'm not so that's a good example of my partner saying you know hey like don't do that it makes me feel bad when you do that because I'm not going to say something bad it's just you know okay you guys get the point um I'm gonna I'm gonna end this list with a fun couples game idea that Corey and I just came up

with the other night and we're in bed and somehow we got on the food topic who knows why like we were just in bed talking about food and grilling and cooking and baking and maybe I was talking about what I'm making for Thanksgiving I think I was and I asked him to I was like okay he wanted me he's like can you make lasagna and I'm like can you make lasagna for me like hello like I want you to make me a lasagna and so um anyways I asked him to like from the top of his head build a lasagna cook a lasagna like verbally cook a lasagna okay I told him like think of every ingredient list it out and how would you make it and he sat there for like 20 fucking minutes it wasn't that long. He was going through like, okay, you're going to need, he's like, you put cheese on

the bottom and then you put sauce and then you put, he's like those noodles, those like round noodles. I'm like round noodles. So like we were going through all the ingredients. I was like helping him with it. And, uh, I told him what ricotta was. He's like, I'm like, you need the ricotta for the lasagna. And anyways, we, we keep doing it. We're like, he'll look at me. He's like, okay, I don't know. What's like a random, like I asked him to do chocolate chip cookies. Okay. it's like he listed off the ingredients and it's just a fun it's a brain exercise I feel like it you you can get to know your partner better because I feel like it says a lot about a person and I like to cook and bake and all that so I I like I know a lot of recipes but

I feel like it says a lot about a person when they tell you like like I'll tell him like hey make enchiladas and he'll it's just like I doubt he'd even mention enchilada sauce like the what's the El Paso is it El Paso or no La Victoria La Victoria enchilada sauce it's just funny to hear I feel like if some guys are amazing cooks Corey's he can cook but it's not like he can cook you know so that's a fun game ask your partner to build a dish from the top of head and I don't know we had a lot of fun with it and I just we randomly did it wasn't something we like saw on TikTok or whatever we're just like oh it's a good way to fall asleep just start you know it's probably a good way to like yeah get tired is instead of scrolling on your phone you're

just sitting there like okay noodles cheese butter basil so all right I think that's the episode this was fun I wanted to yeah put this out there in a cohesive list because I would have I wish this is all the advice I wish I could tell my younger self but you have to go through the trials and tribulations of fuckboy relationships to finally find the one and get to the other side so um it's nice here it's calm here it's peaceful here and I feel like it's a wild thing to look back on like gone are the days you know gone are the days that I'm like refreshing my iMessage like waiting for the text to come through wondering if he's gonna text me back gone are the days that I'm like downloading dating apps and then deleting them after two days because I'm like fuck this

shit and like I mean it's just a that's a past life and it's just it's wild to look back on because that sucked like it was like fun sometimes like there's a fun craziness to it to dating and trying to like figure out if a guy likes you and there's like a it's part of life you know and but I don't miss it and it's so fun and or so yeah the word is like it's one less this is this is the thing when you're in a healthy relationship and when you're you know now I'm married I don't have to like think about dating and guys and all that bullshit anymore it eliminates so much mental space in your head you're just like it's not a thing anymore you know but I will say other my other major relationship

tip here is never stop dating your partner never stop putting on you know the cute outfits I don't know never stop like put yourself together take you know take care of yourself don't let yourself go like keep like I don't think you should go to the stream extremes of like fucking full face of makeup blow out and you know a g-string every time your man walks in the door but like just care about your appearance still like from because when they met you they were attracted to you you don't want to like lose that I think that's a huge thing that will help a relationship keep its spice as you want to be keep it keep it on the rails physically and just how you take care of yourself and um yeah I guess a lot of people gain a lot of weight the first year of marriage

and I'm like I guess that makes sense people are like well we're in this life thing together now forever so fuck it I don't know it's I don't know what I'm saying I'm just kind of trailing off because it's the end of the episode so um do I have any other final thoughts on I do talk to a lot of girls though that are struggling with dating and I just like I get it the thing is is like I've been there and I do feel lucky and I feel like it's just one of those things like some people strike gold and some people don't and it's gonna be more of a struggle but if you I think I it is my religion and I think I was doing this without trying like it wasn't a conscious thought but I've kind of always rocked to the beat of my own I have

always rocked to the beat of my own drum and I've done my own thing and I've kind of created my own life and I feel like because I had my own shit going on that was a major factor in attracting men to me because not that that was yes that was my goal right I didn't admit to that that was like what I was trying to do but when it comes to dating like nowadays it's like people are like oh my hobbies are like love is blind and Instagram it's like you know and my Pilates class I go to like they don't have anything going on besides like social media shit TV shit like they don't have a hobby and interest, like just if all that stuff went away, what would you do with your free time? You know, like get a hobby, create some sort of like thing for your life. That's outside of

this digital world. What am I saying? You guys get it. Gotta have your own shit going on because I had one of the dumbest things I did when I moved to San Diego is I moved in with a man after 30 days. Okay. We've told this story before. If you're new here, uh, hi, I met a man and I moved in with him within a month of moving to San Diego. And I lived with him for like a year and it was a crazy ride. And, but what happened, the dumbest thing I did is I had built myself up so high. I had like, I felt like I was on top of the world when I moved to California after college. And then I meet this guy and then my entire life became him and his life. And I did not maintain my identity through that relationship, through that year.

And I lost myself and I walked out of that relationship not knowing who I was anymore. And I had to rebuild and rebuild and rebuild. And so, yeah, there's a, there are so many examples of women out there like myself that like they meet a guy and then their life just kind of goes to, not that it goes to shit, they just stop, their trajectory just flatlines. they don't or their growth they stop growing they they don't they stop pursuing their dreams they just kind of like coast because they're with a man now and it's just like this yeah it's not good you want to continue your growth continue continue your evolution continue doing your own thing while you're with someone that is so fucking important I cannot emphasize that enough and do not do not uh what are what's my end ending line here um yeah never be 100 financially dependent

on a man that's like i don't know why i didn't mention that like have your own motherfucking bag and be with a man that wants you to have that too okay someone if a man's like oh you don't have to work yeah i can take care of you and you're just like you have nothing to your name and you're just like that terrifies me I feel like because I'm a realist like I know that like anything could happen at any time with a marriage and you just never know and I think it's just on your own conscience and your own like psyche if you're especially because of the access we have now to like to money because of how the world works now like it's I think it's good for the mind to be busy with a goal that obviously if it can earn you

an income like that's ideal but it's also okay if it's just a hobby and whatever but it's just good for the mind to have that going for yourself as a woman I just I believe in that so all right I think I'm gonna end it this was a doozy but I hope that helped you I hope that enlightened you in some way um let me know if you agree disagree if you have anything to add you can always send me a dm on instagram at jacqueline row tiktok at jacqueline row let's do my plugs to end the episode um yeah i'm always available to chat but a chat you want to go what's the thing that everyone's like have a chat is that love is blind i don't know i don't watch i don't watch any reality TV at all like that ship has sailed like I don't I don't even know why like

we just don't I watch TV when I'm with Corey and we don't watch that kind of stuff so um anyways please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on Apple Spotify Google Podcast Stitcher Rigger Overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there subscribe to my YouTube channel this is a video and audio podcast subscribe to the Jacqueline Nero show on YouTube all right that's it thanks for hanging out and I'll talk to you next week. And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back I don't fuckin' take smoke, I'ma poke a hole for you

Chokin's overdue Come at me and you won't get any older, dude Crack your hole to two Heated up inside of me, blood so violently Thanks for trying me Now it's finally time to see How this rivalry becomes my dynasty I know there's no turning back

Oh God, adrenaline wasted So mad I can taste it I know there's no turning back Ayo, ayo I'll do what it takes, I ain't making mistakes like that Ayo, ayo I'll bleed on your face just to make you go take it back Ayo, ayo

I'll lose my shit, I go crazy when I'm mad Ayo, ayo And then you go wish you had shut the fuck up real bad Ayo, ayo Ayo, ayo Ayo, ayo And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back