The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 399- Space C*nts, My Diagnosis & Coachella Hits & Misses

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

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What's up guys, it's episode 399, welcome back to the show! I don't ever slow up, no I don't take shit, I got no love for the fakeness If you wanna play tough and wanna hate this, I'll always show up and make a statement I don't ever slow up, no I don't take shit, I got no love for the fakeness If you wanna play tough and wanna hate this, I'll always show up and make a statement Are we in a recession? Sure, for 48 hours Are tariffs going to destroy our country? No, feminism did why are we pausing tariffs so countries can pick a struggle something queers for palestine needs to

do why is our country broke because you're asking tiktokers about the economy will timu be as expensive as air one yes so now you can't afford either how do we beat china stop shopping at timu can't we just print more money open up the schools are your groceries going to be more expensive for a little bit hopefully you learn to eat less tariffs the power move yes it's the opposite of when you took your ex back. Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show.

So I bit off way more than I can chew today, but this is what's going on. Okay, I officially have a deviated septum. And ADHD. It is what it is. Those are my latest medical diagnoses. I have ADHD and a deviated septum. the Pope died. Rory finally won the masters. We're buying shit directly from Chinese factories. Now

some bitches went to space. My Saturn, I just found out is returning. I have a Saturn in Pisces. So that explains a lot. Uh, the word retarded is the word. Can we, can we, I mean, I can't even say it on my, the word retarded is back. Like it's like, okay. Just because lower, lower, lower rise jeans are trending again. Doesn't mean we need to wear them. You know what I mean? That's how I feel about the word retarded retarded so that's back and then a dumb dumb from Florida dumb cunt from Florida filmed a dead body during the Florida State University shooting while sipping Starbucks and walking by it so that's the state of the world right now and the state of my health and wellness um yeah you guys episode 399 400 episodes in we're officially diagnosed

it's something that I already knew you know and basically after my like follow-up call with my psychiatrist guy it was like yeah you have ADHD and you need to just like with there was another diagnosis diagnosis I don't want to get into it's not a big deal or anything but it was basically like just keep doing therapy like keep going to therapy so um everything's good on that front it's uh good to know I guess I did that what was it 9 30 to 5 p.m testing day um and turns out she does have ADHD so uh oh shit we'll uh clap to that so okay I have a great show for you today like I said I bit off way more than I can chew it's going to be a long one so please get comfy we do have a new sign okay we officially i have

ad i don't want to fucking keep saying it you get it all right if you can't tell by the way i talk um yes i do officially have adhd and a deviated septum i'm on my doctor's appointments like i that's the one thing about people with adhd that that's like the one thing they suck at i don't suck at that i always make appointments i always keep up on my medical stuff so um anyways i want to talk about my deviated septum like consultation thing or whatever because I'm pretty sure he was like he was side-eyeing me the entire time this like older doctor he's been doing it for like 45 years he was side-eyeing me like the whole time I had this like this vibe from him that he thought I was in there to get a nose job you know because he like took one look at me and I had full glam

on I think I was podcasting that day and I think he was just like who is this bitch I'm like what is she really trying to do here? Cause that nose slightly has a bump on it, but like maybe I don't know. Anyway. So we have a new sign. Okay. We have a sign. We have a neon sign. Um, it's the Jacqueline Monroe show. Check it out. Go to YouTube or Spotify to watch me on video and watch the sign watch to look at the studio. We have a little sign and a big sign. So that's fun. They light up um it feels very official and again it's taken me 399 episodes to get a sign still haven't painted my walls I still have this random mirror I'm not I don't think I've ever really talked about my set design situation but like we moved into this house and I just like threw a mirror

up through a bookshelf up sat my desk down and said okay this is where I'm going to shoot my podcast and I haven't changed it in a year so we're starting to upgrade we're starting to have fun with the design here um also life update I toned my hair against my hairdresser's um approval last night so it's very dark it's very it almost looks black it's so dark so I definitely effed up that Sally Beauty Supply Wella order what is it Wella toner um I've been using Wella hair toner like since high school. So I just, it just felt, I don't know. I was like, I just felt like doing it just because it was like, we're in a recession. It was $20. It didn't cost me. I think when I get my hair toned, it's like 150. Um, but also I was just lazy and I was like, I, and I saw myself at

Easter and I was like, I cannot, I had to pull my hair back cause I could not stand the brassiness anymore. So I just cracked, I got the toner and then now we're sitting pretty with really dark hair, which is kind of strange to see. So yeah, new sign, new hair. Um, same me. Okay. What am I drinking? Let's set the scene. We've got a coffee. We've got a, uh, remember that company that sent me GLP-1, uh, it was basically Metamucil. The first GLP-1 company that hit me up was, it was a GLP-1 drink that apparently increased your GLP-1 stuff in your gut by drinking it which again it was basically Metamucil but they sent me this other drink that is kind of like a post workout like what is it it has like uh like glutath no L-glutamine and shit in it so I'm

drinking that I'm drinking a black coffee I took a spin class this morning I'm feeling energized I'm feeling ready it's the middle of the week it's Wednesday I'm just feeling good I love this time of year I talked about it last week like spring is that bitch I love spring I love the sun I'm tan I'm wearing a coral t-shirt today I'm very happy and very grateful I'm feeling very blessed um for this life lately like and we'll talk about that in a second um but before I get get into everything please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast wherever you listen podcast please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there if you haven't reviewed

the show five stars yet please do that now that'd be great helps me out helps people find out about the show so leave me a five-star review subscribe to my youtube channel again this is a video and audio podcast. You can watch the full length podcast on YouTube over at the Jacqueline Monroe show on YouTube. And then I'm a TikToker. Hi. You know, if you couldn't tell by the way I talk, hi, I'm a TikToker. Hi. TikTok, Jacqueline Monroe, Instagram, Jacqueline Monroe. All right, let's get into it. So yeah, it was Easter and he has risen, right? Like fucking it. I am so detached from my faith it is sad and I and I told you last week I said that I've been praying more lately I've been tuning into my spiritual side lately and it's putting me in like at complete

peace like that shit works praying to God works um being reverent and like like just you know what you know is this the pipeline I got married I started baking sourdough we're gonna start going to church. I'm going to start wearing trad wife. Uh, I'm going to start wearing those milkmaid dresses, the high neck long puffy sleeve milkmaid dresses. I mean, I can just, we're going to start going to church. I can feel it. I'm in this time and this economy and this, um, period of life that we're all finding ourselves in right now in 2025, I can church feels right. It feels like a good outlet, a good place to go, um, on a weekly basis. So he is risen. Easter was beautiful. Um, we went to, we didn't go to church. Um, see, I grew up, I was, uh, a church goer. I was

born and raised Catholic, confirmed, saw the Pope, the whole thing. I saw Benedict, RIP to Francis. How tragic. He died on Easter. I wonder who the new Pope is going to be. I think there's like bets happening in Vegas over like the next Pope. They're like placing their bets on these bishops right now. And I'm like, this is fucking crazy. So yeah, I saw Benedict. I was confirmed. I'm a confirmed Catholic. And it's funny, you like move out of your house and then you stop and like you go off to college and party every weekend so of course you're hungover you're not going to church and you didn't you don't seek out those local catholic uh like you go to college and it's like I feel like some catholics you know that are they've been going to church since they

were kids and they went all the way through high school with their family and then they go off to college it's like some catholics probably seek out a church in their college town to go to every weekend um just it that was definitely not me I was that was the last so that's when I stopped that's when my faith um my like church days kind of ended and now I'm a creaster so I'm a Christmas Easter bitch and this year I did not go on Easter um typically when I'm home with my family in Washington we'll go to a church mass on Christmas Eve and then a church mass we'll go to a Christmas mass on Christmas Eve and uh Easter right if I'm home so didn't happen this year but we had a beautiful, uh, luncheon. It was like an Easter luncheon at our friend's house. It was beautiful.

Um, I baked a sourdough bunny that looked like shit. It looked like a, it looked like a volleyball, like with all the designs I had to like cut ears and a tail and the bunny feet. And then when it all baked, it just looked like a blob. But, um, we left and that's when people started picking at it. And then we got a text within like five minutes that the whole bunny was gone. So that made me feel really good about my you know my baking and my baking my sourdough journey because people love my fucking bread and they don't shut up about it and I am that I'm I'm I like to this is the thing I preach all the time pause and reflect on what I'm good at acknowledge what I'm good at feel and then like say it out loud and go like yes that's okay to it's okay to be to boast

about yourself a little bit and to, you know, toot your own horn. So God blessed me with many gifts, but one of them is baking and I love to bake. So Easter weekend was beautiful. Didn't like my outfit. We posted some pictures. Corey and I took some pics. Didn't love my outfit. I, as a soft dramatic, that's my body type. According to Kibbe, I learned that last fall. those crop pants I wore were just I looked fine like I know but the proportions were off in my mind and I just I just need a wide leg trouser in that same shade of white like I just need the same thing but longer and a bigger flare um it elongates me just it just looks better long flared out trousers look the best on me um but of course we were down to the wire and I was

getting ready I had probably two and a half hours to get ready and I threw my outfit on in the last like two minutes before we left and I was scrambling and my first top was way too it was just like a tank top with those pants and Corey was just like absolutely not because you know we're around like older people and like they're from La Jolla like they don't want to see they're not you know what I mean so I went with an Ann Taylor blouse that I thrifted and it was fine It was fine. My outfit was fine. Um, it was weird wearing all white though. I haven't done that since our wedding last year. And, um, yeah, I just, I like it on other, on other people. I don't think I like all white on myself. Um, okay. So I said, I took a spin class, still love and spin

class. I go multiple days a week. Um, I I'm, I'm officially, I can officially sprint out of the saddle okay life update still loving spin class but I and I I didn't love it at first because I couldn't sprint out of the saddle now I can and it's just like a really good feeling where I can actually keep that rhythm at that pace or like that speed or whatever um without having to sit because I don't know I felt like such a you know the thing about spin class is I used to make fun of those hand motions uh and just all the movements and it was it was just so dorky to me of course I hate I thought spin class was stupid like that's so me you know um and then now I'm like I fucking love it I went to this spin class on Sunday and this instructor I think she's known

for like doing a lot of hand motions and she said during class um she just makes me by the way this spin class instructor and instructor spin class instructor just makes me want to like hug people and like kiss like spin class is so good for me it's um I actually want to say something about the vibes in there and how the effect it's having on me um just a second but like yeah this spin class instructor instructor is known for doing a lot of hand motions and she said during class she's like, this is, this cures Alzheimer's or whatever. She's like, this prevents it. Or like, cause you're thinking about, and she does so many and they're very intricate. I mean, I was doing like, I can't even describe it. Like it's like two hands on one side of the handlebar

and then you're like pumping down a couple of times and then you like extend your arm up and then you like do like a karate chop. And you've probably seen these spin class videos. Yeah. We were doing all of that and she said during class that I don't know if that's if that's been if that has been studied but there is an older woman she a older woman in the front row she's there like every weekend when I'm in class and yeah I bet she's like ahead of the game mentally like I don't know it probably helps her mind at that age so um but anyway spin class okay so I okay something I don't like about myself is my negativity for no reason. Like I have the biggest smile on my face. Like truly, like I am such a positive, happy person. If you see me,

like I'm smiling, I'm positive. Okay. But like, I'm not, I'm a glass half. Okay. What am I trying to say? My disposition, I wish I had the disposition of these spin class instructors, of these people that go to spin class. Like they're just so light. They're so happy. They're so giddy. They're so like, I don't, I don't know how to explain it. And this whole place like has such a good vibe. And I'm like, I just feel like when I walk in the building, I'm like a dark cloud and I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? And then I get out of class and I just want to kiss everyone. You know, I'm like, um, they're very LGBTQ friendly there too, by the way. So anyways, um, love that. Just, that's probably, that's probably, that probably has something to do

with it um just positive vibes everywhere it's a great community of people um but sometimes I'm like why am I so I I feel like especially I'm just kind of closed off and reserved to be honest and I'm at heart I'm not that way like that's not how I you know that's not like who I am but like in public when I go to spin class when I go I'm just kind of like shut down or shut off and closed um but then I find myself after class talking to everyone and being happy snappy so um anyways you just and Corey says this like I kind of need to I have to um kind of have to break me out of my shell because at first I'm like a little shy and then once we start talking then I'm like okay this is fun and I want to actually share who I am and open up these uh these walls that I have up

because what the fuck you know what I mean like I have a lot of thoughts obviously about how that personality of mine or like that side of my personality has probably held me back in a lot of ways and blocked me from opportunities and relationships and yeah it pissed me off I'm 30 and it's like what the bitch get it together so spin class is working for that a lot so I'm I'm doing spin class um so I did spin class I got ready um I've been doing it so I go to a 6 a.m class which is so early but I love it because by the time I leave and get home and get ready for my podcasting it's like 8 a.m so you know me and my time issues it feels so good like I love because typically I would work out at seven to eight and then we'd sauna and then it'd be like

we don't get home till eight 30 and then we shower. And then by the time I like get out of the shower and get ready, it's like 10 and I'm like, fuck. So, um, other life updates, Corey, I wrote down, Corey forgot his phone. Yeah. That's how, you know, Oh, I just thought of that. That's how, you know, and I I've said this since day one, he forgot his phone. I know how to get into his phone. There's no issues with that with us or anything. Didn't even my first reaction when I saw his phone, he left on the bed after he left for work or he forgot it on the bed when he left for work. My first reaction was, okay, I can't call him to tell him that his phone's here. I know he's going to realize it sooner or later as he's driving. So I'm going

to put this by the front door. So when he comes home, he sees it and he can grab it and go back to work. I didn't think one time, like that was anyone else, like every single one of my ex boyfriends like I would have that was that's when our relationship would have ended because I would have found some shit I would have gone through that phone I would have had that or I wouldn't have done it but I would have had that like intense urge to do it I feel nothing with Corey I don't even flinch if I see his phone and he's in like the shower or something oh I should check you know that whole thing I am so 30 and settled and calm and at peace it feels so good and if you're struggling out there if you've got those tendencies with your husband leave him um just

know it gets better eventually I just I feel like with now with phone addiction now with everyone being accessible through your phone um just you know what I mean it's just not worth being anxious about that with your partner and I feel like that's the test if you're because it's unavoidable you're always going to be with your partner and their phone at all times they're always going to have it at dinner it's going to be in their pocket or on the table it's going to be around um you just don't want to have anxiety with that you know what I mean so if you don't feel like checking their phone you're in a good place take it from me I I just realized that as I was telling you guys that he forgot his phone I was like wait a minute I didn't

even that's growth that is maturity that feels so good because me a couple years ago oh my god if you know you know the lore the story um I also have tea about oh my god I can't even it's like my most listened to episode my cheating story episode um but yeah that was not a healthy situation for me um hi growth and maturity let's keep moving so I alluded to feeling grateful and happy and all the things and um you know we're coming up on 400 right technically this is episode 400 I posted about that uh the other day we've got a little uh we have a little brain fart situation on the Jacqueline Monroe show back on episode 158 I duplicated the number so it was 158 and then I posted 158 the next podcast I blame the vaccine I blame I don't know

my depression I was going through at the time. I don't know. So technically this is episode 400. Hi, we made it big day. Um, sorry, that's really loud. Didn't mean to do it that loud. Um, but we're calling it three 99 because I'm a little OCD and I just don't want to see three 98, 400. And I also want to do something bigger than a typical episode for it. I don't like I've brainstormed I haven't brainstormed like enough to the point where I'm like that's the thing I'm gonna do so we're coming up on 400 this is what I want to say I'm just so grateful for you and for your listenership um I'm assuming if you have been a long time listener in my show at this point you probably feel like you know me and we're besties virtually

or whatever and I know how that feels because I list a podcast all day long and it just means a lot because this has truly been a life-changing thing for me and a very healing thing for me and so I'm just so grateful to be able to share it with you and to have you as a weekly listener if you listen every week or every now and then whatever it is means a lot um I just the only thing all I knew this is how my brain works all I knew is that I liked listening to podcasts all I knew is that they were a source of comfort um whenever I needed it especially when I was going through a lot of dark stuff in my in my 20s and so all I knew is that okay if I enjoy it and people are just shooting the shit talking about nothing okay I do like I understand what

I do here okay we're not changing the world um or solving cancer which by the way AI is going to solve cancer in like 10 years within the next like five to 10 years, watch it happen. Like they're already talking about it. It's crazy. Um, so I, I, I knew that I knew that I liked it or I keep it straight. So I just never looked back. Right. I said, I know that people, I know that I enjoy podcasters. I know I, I, I get a lot out of listening to other people talk about their lives and what they're going through. So why not me? Right. Not to quote Russell Wilson during the Superbowl era of whatever year that was for this, when the Seahawks went to the Superbowl, but his whole motto was why not us? You know, that's my motto for life. Like if you feel like an

imposter, like you feel like, like who the fuck do you think you are to start a podcast? And you're some like Susie Q from wherever you look, like you feel like you're not cool enough. Your life, life isn't cool enough. Fuck all that. You know what I mean? Um, just do it. And that's, that's been my motto. Like, why not me? There's room for everyone at the table. I believe in that. especially in podcasts, even though people are like, it's so saturated. Everyone and their mom has podcasts. Yes. And there's always room for more. And if you build it, they will come. That is my motto too. Like if you build your, your, your podcast, the people will come and here they are. We're on 400 episode, 400 it's episode three 99, three 99, but it's 400. I'm in a reflective

mindset right now about it. And I'm honestly just doing the segment right now to express my gratitude because, um, this shit is my, this is my dream. You know, this is my dream life. This is my dream career. This is my retirement plan. And, um, yeah, I'm just feeling really happy lately about it all. I'll get into that a little more in a second. Um, but the other thought about podcasting hat I had, and the reason I made it this far is just don't stop, you know, just don't stop you can't stop that's what I told myself like keep posting keep showing up social media is a game of showing up you have to clock in every single day and post something right like that's the game you just have to and the better you have to care about the quality obviously and

you have to or prioritize that and there's a lot more to it than just showing up but I just told myself just don't stop don't stop once you stop it's over what's the quote it's Like if I, if you, if I don't quit, I can't fail period, you know? So, um, just, yeah, that's how anything goes. Any hobby, any career plan you have, just keep at it. Even if it's a tiny percent a day, that whole 1% better every day thing is so true. Just a little micro positive step forward. That's truly how I got here. Like if you listen back to the beginning, oh my fucking I will never delete those first YouTube videos. If you've seen them, God bless, you know?

Oh my God. Like, who is she? It's haunting sometimes, but, um, I just, I look back and I'm just so like, I just love her. She was trying. I was trying and I never stopped trying and here I am. So I could cry just talking about it. So speaking of like feeling grateful and grateful for you and grateful for my life, like yesterday

was once again my perfect day and I'm like how how did I get here like it's Tuesday I'm grocery shopping I'm getting my car clean I'm like doing all this stuff I'm just like whisking around the town and I'm so happy like I love being like I'm okay let's just call it what it is I'm not solving the world's problems on this podcast I'm not educating you about really important topics right like I'm I'm not doing that here I recognize that I'm a suburban housewife a 30 year old suburban housewife who is you would probably call me like privileged whatever I and I I'm self-aware I know that's probably what it's looking like here which is true okay um and as well as one does in that, with that kind of, um, with those titles next to her name, I did a midday grocery shopping

session with the elderly at Trader Joe's. It was like, what the fuck? Everyone around here is retired. And then I get the question at the checkout stand. Cause you know how they try to fall in love with you at Trader Joe's when you get your groceries checked out. The guy's like, are you off today? And I'm like, I just said yes like I don't know like yeah technically because I approach like okay the podcast is my business so yes I'm I get to pick my schedule that's what I'm feeling grateful for I'm grateful for the flexibility of time the time flexibility I have and the freedom to do whatever I want with my time that's what I'm feeling grateful for because a year ago if you guys

remember on May 1st I was fired from my corporate job laid off fired I just like to say fired because it's dramatic and hi i'm cancer and i'm i don't know does that or i'm a leo rising leo did i say my saturn's returning my saturn's in pisces it's kind of been explaining a lot i look i looked into it what that means like this tracks it's it's my excuse like anytime i have a mental breakdown in front of gory i'm like this is supposed to be happening because the planets the positions are changing and it's returning to the Saturn is literally returning to the position it was at when I was born that's that's heavy on the soul or whatever like I'm also 30 and I just got married and bought a house and

like changed career or I had well stopped working a corporate job and um but if you remember a year ago back to I was saying I got fired laid off the whole entire company was imploding basically everyone was getting canned um yeah I now I can just be it's so nice like I can just and I think all of the housewifey stuff I do it fucking fulfills the fuck out of me it fulfills me so much I love it I literally I get so excited to go get groceries and pick out the flower bouquet for the week and even just like taking the dogs to the park at like 10 a.m like I used to have to sit in meetings you know it's just really um I just feel like I'm at peace and I found my peace and I went through my whole 20s running the rat race of corporate America and running in the rat

race corporate America and just trying to like make it and like I just tried to like it was just a hustle that I that didn't feel like I was not in the flow that's the thing I knew these corporate jobs I had were against that they went against what felt right for me you know and the life I live now this podcast is social media stuff I do the housewife you stuff I consider running a home like I do a job like it's a fuck ton of work um you know I naturally I'm a natural caretaker I like taking care of our home and the dogs and Corey like that's just my nature you know I'm cancer double cancer I'm home body I'm I'm a nurturer okay I'm sensitive too and that's why I cry a lot um but it just feels like such a a flow thing my life feels like it's in the flow

I love my life I literally drove home yesterday I called Corey and I just said I am so fucking happy I'm so fucking happy and I could cry I'm like because I did not I I wanted this right like I wanted eventually to not have to work my corporate job and to do this do this thing and now I have it and I just it makes me so happy and um again thank you for listening and supporting the show. Please subscribe. I'm actually like teary right now. Oh my God. This is not okay. Okay. So I, um, we're in a recession. Wait, what was I going to talk about? You guys were buying straight from these Chinese factories. Let's do a palate cleanser. This is a Chinese man in the factory telling you how to buy direct. Okay. To, to cut out the middleman. This is how

we're cutting out the middleman and we're buying shit for a dollar and 50 cents from china instead of 150 dollars like literally like people just let me just play this he would load the terrace on the chinese goods that's a good start because of the terrace many americans have learned that buying direct from chinese factory is actually the cheapest i have a little tips that might have save even more money i will live in the guangzhou and the right next to me is okay many americans have learned that they're buying that it's cheaper to buy drug from the chinese factory if you didn't catch that here's another one if you are interested please tell me i will send you all the styles

what other products you are looking for really put your foot in it this time donnie $1.30, $1.30, $1.30, $1.30. He's showing a bunch of pants, $1.30. All these messages are only $1.30. Go to naratocon.ca. So there's all these websites that you can go to now to buy. You've always been able to, but now people are trying to outsmart these tariffs and get shit for, buy things cheaper. And it's just really funny.

I'm like, what world are we living in right now? but speaking of this economy okay like everyone everyone likes to talk about we're in a recession but I will say speaking of grocery shopping I was like oh my god these prices like I first of all one carton per household is the egg quota now is that the right word quantity thing now like you literally can only buy one carton of eggs and um okay but then the prices on stuff is is is actually like post-covid during the times of when the suez got blocked you remember that and the thing the the tanker what's it called the oil tanker no the fucking cargo ship was blocking the suez suez canal is that over in egypt somewhere up there crazy how that's just

like the path that's there's like a one way to get the the cargo ships through it's crazy so then there was the supply chain shortage. So like the prices of, um, like chicken was getting more expensive. Everything started getting more expensive. So I've been used to that. Like I've been used to walking to CBS and seeing, you know, Pantene shampoo for $14.99. Like, okay. But yesterday I'm like, what was it where I was like, Oh my God. Okay. A pack of diet Coke. I swear to God, it was like Coca-Cola products were all like $11.99 at Vons. Just a pack, like a 20, what is it? Like the 24 pack, you know, the long skinny one you can like put in your fridge and supposed to like perfectly fit in your fridge. That was

$11.99 like at Vons, like on the, um, end cap thing as like sale 11. I'm like 11. I used to buy it. Like those used to be like what? Six bucks, like whole thing of Diet Coke. So, um, there was that there was um what else was like super expensive for no reason like a Lonnie's I just noticed the prices it was like oof um something was $8.99 and I almost shit myself it was I think it was um spindrifts you know those sparkling waters I like I've talked about them before that have a little hint of like lemon juice in them or grapefruit juice those were $8.99 like I remember five those used to be $5.99 at Trader Joe's $8.99 I'm like oh shit everything's a little bit higher so I was like oh my god but like speaking of this recession let me get into it

the Jacqueline Monroe show is rebranding okay hi I did a photo shoot on my dirt stained dog paw stained shit stained god there's probably shit all over our white couches I did a photo shoot in our living room with my Canon G7X and I took a bunch of hot picks for my new podcast cover because I was like fuck it like I'm ready like it's time to do a new cover a new like vibe for the show and I just was doing it thinking like this is so fiscally responsible because like why would I go hire a photographer in this economy like why would I go get a professional photo shoot done in this economy like there are certain things about me where I'm such a cheap ass and like when it comes to honestly it's also the creative control because like I get insecure

I've never really done a photo shoot like an official photo shoot before but I think it's a control thing at the end of the day and I want to be able to like you know be in the comfort of my own home like when I like I literally I'm in the comfort of my own home spreading my legs all my pictures were just like whore every single picture I took from my new podcast I'm like what was going on in my head? I was just channeling. I think I was trying to channel, like, I don't know. What was I trying to channel? Like Tate McRae. Um, I don't know. I was just trying to have fun, you know? And whenever I'm like, Oh, I'm going to have fun. I start like twerking and like kicking my leg in the air. You know what I mean? I start like getting sexual with it.

So, yeah, but I'm literally like setting up my my podcast cover photo shoot situation in our in our living room. And there's just like the dogs had slept there the night before. It was just like shitty. I need to clean these cushions. There's like a coffee stain, a light switches in like every picture they have to like edit out. um but there's something else I've been doing that's very like recession friendly or or these times friendly um the other week we used up every last drop of food I'm telling you like everything from our freezer everything from our fridge I which you should do anyways like there's no reason to buy food when you already have food because I feel like you wait that's how you waste stuff

obviously. So we went through every single thing in our fridge. Felt really good. I've been doing that with all of my skincare products. I'm using things up to the max before I repurchase. Um, I'm just doing subtle things like just because I feel like has the under consumption, have the under consumption trends been, you know what, you know what it is. It's like an OCD thing. It's kind of like an OCD thing. it's partially I'm disgusted by overconsumption and the consumerism consumerism of it all especially um in the beauty community and influencer community right so I get disgusted by also yet like the under consumption trend when you see people that are like this uh hand soap was

from Christmas from the Christmas season at TJ Maxx like three years ago I'm still using it like a piece of that like it it speaks to my like OCD where I'm like it's kind of like it's intoxicating to like go through bottles of shit in your shower that's been sitting there forever you know what I mean like right now I'm like working through all my shampoos all my conditioners I'm really like weaning things out down to the nitty I'm like it just feels like yes you know it's like minimalism that's when okay minimalism used to speak to me in that way too where it was like it just felt like uh you know so let me get back on the rails we have a lot to cover we have a lot of news we have a lot of Coachella happened we've got fucking what else happened this at Florida State University

shooting of katie perry and the space the real housewives of performative feminism went to space um masters rory won okay i wrote down does he wear a toupee so yeah we have a lot to cover but those were kind of like those were like the life updates um what was i talking about oh under consumption we were talking about china where i started of crying and I was like okay let's watch these Chinese factory videos um because we're buying straight from the factories now um at the end of the day we need to stop buying shit from China that's how we take them down like stop buying shit just stop stop your team order stop your order stop your like I haven't been shopping on Amazon like like I okay yes I have what I'm saying

is I, I'm really conscientious. Like I only buy things that are absolute needs. Like I absolutely need this because typical Jacqueline is like, Oh, it's 10 PM. I should be in better right now, but I'm on Amazon and I just want to get a hit of dopamine right now. So I'm going to buy a sports bra and a new color. You know what I mean? Like that's a typical thing that I would do for no reason and it's like stop right we all need to stop doing that um and uh cool so now we're on okay this is something I wanted to bring up because it's very obvious that we're all doing this now and it there's I'm like what's the psychology of this what is the psychology of this because, and then I have a tip. Okay. So this, this is about liking pictures on social

media. Not, I'm not talking about like your boyfriend liking a girl's Instagram or Instagram models pictures. Not like that type of liking. I'm talking about like people you follow. Okay. So, and I, and I read a lot about trends, social media trends, what's going on in the, on the business side of things, the algorithm side of things, like what's changing, what's right now it's the they're calling it like the lurker economy where people are watching who they're following right like you see them post a picture like a photo dump or a reel the people who follow you are watching it but they're not engaging they're not liking they're not commenting they're lurking they're seeing it but they're just like moving on with their day so it's this

new because I think it's a little bit of like okay we're all burnout like we're all we're inundated with non-stop posts and content on our instagrams all day and our tiktok so you're just kind of like whatever like but but what is the psychology this is what i'm getting to what is the psychology of not liking someone you follow's pictures or posts especially when you're friends with them like especially when you're friends with them like in real life you're good buddies like you're you're cool like you have no beef you like them you follow each other you engage with their content you watch all of their stories that's the thing people will watch all of your stories and never like a single thing you post what is that psychology it's this new thing

and it's a very strange and I'm not the thing is is I'm not um I'm not reading into this as like oh it's a jealousy thing or they're there it's like there's a subtle animosity they have animosity towards you subtly and they're triggered by what you put like I'm not getting into that I'm just I kind of give people the benefit of the doubt because it's like to I don't know I just think it's weird this is this is the thing and this is kind of this kind of goes with my tip I just think it's um yeah I just think it's weird because my okay this is my tip so for social media this is like my number one tip especially because this is my number one social media addict tip because whether we like it or not we're all addicted to our phones we can't avoid it we're like

you try for a week you're like I'm gonna be on my phone list yeah how long does that last a day and you're like back to rolling out of bed in the morning and checking your phone right so my tip because it's just it's it is what it is here we are in 2025 we're all addicted to our phones my tip is to only follow people who when they post you want to like it like you get this feeling in your body that like everything they post you're like yes queen like yes bitch yes that's how I am with Justin Bieber everything he posts right now I'm like fuck yeah I want to support this guy like I want to I want him to win I want him to do well I know he's probably been going through it he's the kind of person I follow where I'm like everything you post I'm like fuck yeah I'm liking

it that's the feeling you should have with the people you follow or it's like why else are you following them oh because you met them one time at a bar now you liked or you follow them like don't follow those people I don't know I just think it's okay this is what I'm getting to honestly it's it's especially when it comes to influencers and people that are clearly trying to build their brand on social media and like build a business on social media like myself included like I think it's it's rude or it's just like not rude but like if you follow them and you're not engaging and liking their content it's like fuck you you know like you're not help you're just like I don't know um yeah I think I do it especially when I know that this person

is clearly trying to they're already an influencer and this is how they make their money or they're on the they're on the come up and they're trying to pop off like I want to support that every single time so whenever I follow someone or if I see a post from um an influence influencer I always like it or I try to like if you know this is a dumb internet brain conversation but this is at the end of the day here's what I want to get to okay about phones and then we'll keep going with like the news topics and stuff and oh god Liam Liam Payne cheated on his girlfriend before he died we'll get into that okay there needs to be one app okay there needs to be one app when I open my phone

I want it to be a one-stop shop okay I'm sick of bopping around I'm sick of it it's not good for our brains it's a clusterfuck I have so many apps and all day long I'm like bopping over here and i'm bopping over here and i'm on instagram i'm back on tiktok i'm back on youtube and i'm on my messages and there needs to be like one interface this is not gonna ever happen because of the the tech um wars or fucking the app what is it that already happened the app wars already happened um tiktok is still winning um they're gonna compete they're gonna have there's but like you know what i mean like i just want it to be a zen experience when i open my phone i want it to be okay I open my phone just consolidation consolidation I want everything in one place

in one interface I want to see text messages and then I want to see like okay the content of the I don't know how this works like I don't and I've been saying this for a really long time I remember when Instagram started Instagram stories after Snapchat stories did Snapchat stories I remember saying this I was like so now we have to do stories on Snapchat this is back in college we have to do stories on Snapchat and then we have to go do the same thing on Instagram like fuck that there should just be one app here I am in 2025 saying it again like it's not none of this is none of none of this is good for our brains I'm just trying to like conceptualize or or theorize about how could there just be one you open your

phone it's zen and it I'm trying to let me grab my phone right now it's been on my desk this whole time so I open my phone okay oh my god so I've got like the stock market I've got my news app I've got my goodreads I've got my aura ring I've got my bank account I've got my gmail all my social media apps I don't know maybe I'm just overthinking it what's new but that was a disgusting noise I apologize okay back to like OCD about using up products and like decluttering and like being conscientious about spending and all that another thing I'm very OCD about and this is my other social media tip and I have talked about this a lot and then we'll move on because like come on like talking about like phone stuff is who fucking cares but I am very OCD and I and I

really need to clean up my TikTok um about like my following amount or count like I only follow like I follow like less than 500 people which which still feels like too much I just want to when I open Instagram when I open TikTok I just want to see what I want to see right and that's my tip like get whittle that shit down to like nobody down to like five people you follow because it makes such a difference it really does especially when you turn off the settings where it recommends stuff for you to see based on like what you've already watched like especially when we turn those settings off it's really nice you just see so yeah anyways um just do better with your phone we can all do better uh last day you're gonna get inspired by this podcast for one

day. You're going to be like, Oh my God, Jacqueline told me to unfollow. I follow 1600, 1600 people. I'm going to follow. I'm going to unfollow a bunch of people. You're going to get inspired and then it's going to crawl back up. You're still going to be addicted to your phone and we're all going to die someday. And who fucking cares? Okay. So I saw, okay. We're back. We're back to the movies. Corey and I keep going to the movies, right? And, um, we love it. And he said something the other day. He's like, my dad and I used to go to the movies growing up and I just feel so I love that we do this together because it just his we still take his dad to the movies sometimes but um I feel like

it really just warms our heart to get the popcorn to sit down and watch a movie every weekend like we literally go every single weekend it's like our thing so we saw Drop and the Drop movie with the guy from it ends with us the guy that was like the good guy in the movie um who was the actress in that it's the movie where she has to kill her date you've probably seen the previews it was it was okay like it was thing is is they rushed the ending there are so many things about the ending that were stupid like she instead of calling the cops to like go save her was it her son she like drove home herself rushed home in her car it was like so unrealistic you know and the movie just kind of ended so obviously it was a cheesy thriller type movie but um it was it was

okay it was like a fun date night movie and then we saw the amateur with who's the actor it's it's a movie where basically he his wife gets killed in London he works for like the CIA this this guy does and he basically is out to get the killer of his wife and is he goes rogue and basically yeah you know does it himself and um they're trying to stop him from doing it the government or whatever so that was good it was kind of like so then we went home the same day we watched we went to like a matinee and then we went home and watched the accountant with um ben affleck that was kind of a similar premise it was a better movie though way better movie because we want to see the accountant too that comes out soon um i think we're going to take cory's dad to that

because he liked that movie so we're still going to the movies we're still loving the movies you know there's just something about eating 30 popcorn next to strangers in the dark that really heals me and I feel like a kid again you know and I'm eating those raisinets with the popcorn by the way we're putting the raisinets in the popcorn with okay by the way it's half caramel half butter full pack of raisinets sometimes we add a pack of peanut M&Ms you guys the GLP one is out the door out the window it doesn't it's not in my body anymore it doesn't work my body's I feel like a pregnant lady like literally I'm just fucking eating my face off and um it just feels good to eat like eat oh my god if you put a large bucket of popcorn in front of me

with candy in it oh my god I am a pig like I am a fucking pig and um we also like get dinner at our oh my god we get dinner at this place and then we have um what's it called popcorn candy and everything after so I just love it I love the movies I love it and I'm becoming like a movie buff or like I don't know maybe that's maybe that's what we'll talk about on the show like moving forward is like I'll recap movies and do my reviews um but I'm trying to think of oh something Corey said about the cartel in this movie theater place probably shouldn't have said that we're convinced it's like there's some sort of um what do you call it um laundering happening we don't know I don't know anything but it's giving laundering it's giving cartel um I don't

know. Do I cut that out? Do I leave it? Do I, am I in fear of my life now? Kind of, but what's going on with these deportations? Let's change the subject nice and smoothly because what, what is it? Like 90% of these gang members, they deported to fucking Seacott or whatever in El Salvador is it El Salvador the highest maximum security prison like didn't have a criminal I I I don't know I don't know what's going on I just heard some things and again suburban housewife who doesn't know shit about fuck and uh not to quote not to quote Ruth from Ozark that was the best line in that entire series I missed that show um I need to get into a good show. I haven't watched a good show in a while, like a good show. It was not a

white Lotus girl. Um, don't even, don't even tell me I need to watch it. Like it's probably not going to happen. I think I might start getting into, start getting into Paul American. I'll start watching the Paul brothers. Um, now I'm just suburban housewife who has a very surface level understanding of, um, current events. That's who I am. So something about deportations and something about this ms-13 leader who wore a bull's hat and apparently that because he wore a bull's hat that means he's an ms-13 and then people are like that's racist and like there's all this shit okay i don't know what's going on but did they yeah so it's something you know go listen to uh who was i listening to break it down i don't know if there's a podcast i can

if I can recommend a podcast right now if you're still trying to like keep up with the Justin Baldoni Blake Lively situation go listen to Candace Owen's latest video or podcast on the fake lawsuit that Blake Lively filed so she could confiscate her employee's phone back before New York Times dropped the article because of this PR agency just go listen to her podcast breaking down because she's like that's her thing that's her baby that Blake Lively Justin Baldoni drama so um yeah I was gonna try to brush up on that today and cover it but I'm like I don't fuck honestly I don't fucking care like I just at this point I I feel like I'm wasting brain cells or I'm losing brain cells and I'm it's like a waste of life to be it actually is really juicy

you though I just whatever I didn't I didn't want to have to like read an article in depth or paperwork um but hey if I find out any more information about the Justin Baldoni Blake Lively lawsuit I I promise that I will deep dive into it myself before I come talk to you about it I think that's best for both of us um and the health of this show because again talking out of your ass that's the thing nobody knows anything everyone's just talking about talking out of their ass and um sharing their opinions you know that's just what we do I I just what is my take on all of that like you know I listen to a lot of podcasts a lot of comedian podcasts and some something I heard recently was that like when did pot when did comedians start talking about

politics you know I'm like like this everything is so what's the word things that were getting far um it's almost like watering comedy down a little bit and someone said I forget what was I listening to it was like a bro podcast but they were like comedians seem to stop doing their podcast and stop talking about politics and just go back to doing comedy like um because all they do on their podcast is talk about current events and politics but like there's certain comedians where I'm like that's why I tune in you know um fucking Tim Dillon's breakdown of this MS-13 gang leader's girlfriend or wife pleading for him to you know return home like his breakdown of it like that's

him talking about a current event in a humorous way like that's worth my time I mean it was down to like every single word she said it was like oh you have to listen to the episode it's I think it's his latest one but so there's certain people where I enjoy it and certain people I'm like I don't know like what else are we gonna talk the thing is this is where I'm at I'm like what I'm not a comedian but like when I get on my podcast every week there's so much crazy shit happening in the world it's almost like you can't not talk about it you're almost like because you want you want it's something you're interested in you want to talk about it so um yeah

uh some what are people saying about this the pope dying and he met he met with jd vance right before he died or i don't know fucking who cares a lot of a lot of the news though is also like fucking who cares so um I want to talk about something I learned about myself took me 400 episodes to learn makes a lot of sense it makes a lot of sense um maybe I'll go into like okay how did I get my ADHD diagnosis how did I get like what was the meeting like when I got my results like what was the whole situation so like I said I did that all day testing thing we did a cognitive section like half the day was cognitive half the day was psychiatric is that the same thing I don't know I had to do a bunch of puzzles and word games and I had to do stuff on a computer

listen to things I had to I played with blocks um I felt like I was in kindergarten again it was it was fun honestly it was kind of fun I was I was I was down for it right because I was trying and I was trying to do my absolute best because I wanted the result results to be as accurate as possible um I probably tried too hard um my IQ score was higher than I what was my IQ score I should bring up my results who fucking cares about an IQ score I feel like all that's been debunked It's not, it's a good metric for like where you're at, uh, when it comes to intelligence, I guess, but not fully. So it's a good metric for that a little bit, but not doesn't paint the whole picture. Um, so I, I tried really hard. I was very competitive. I was

like really trying to do my best and I scored a lot of my test results why didn't I think of pulling out my results I was in like the there's percentiles right if you're in like the top there's a bell curve thing and then there's like okay this is like when where most people score and this is where people in the I was in like the 95th percentile in a lot of categories so I scored very well like I did very very very well but then there was a lot where it was like you know like oh fuck like i've got some weaknesses over here so um so that was really interesting to see the things and then the things i was really good at a lot of people aren't there was um a lot of the number memory stuff where he had to he would recite things out loud and i had

to say it backwards but then i'd have to he would say like ten four two eight seven six three one and I would have to order those backwards and say it back to him. So there's this chart where he's like, okay, normally I just get to like four or five numbers. We got all the way up to like 12 with you. That's how many I could remember backwards and put them in order. So I was very good for summer. I'm like, I didn't know I could do that. So I was like surprised. There was a lot of things where I was like, what does this mean? Like, I'm like, I know I'm not stupid, but I feel like I'm stupid when it comes to life. No, like adulting is kind of where that's where I struggle. that's why I was there I was like I feel like I'm slipping every day like I I'm fucking frozen for

no reason for the dumbest like frozen when I need to not be frozen I'm in I'm paralyzed but I I do not need I I need to get shit done you know so but anyways we did the cognitive testing and then we did that was like the puzzles and the word games and all that and then we did a three I did a 350 question psychiatric test like the official one and I will say this okay I was diagnosed with it's not even bad it's like a generalized mood disorder which he kind of used the term he like said it like you're not the term diagnosis or being diagnosed sounds heavy and like official and like oh you know it means like a big thing it's like oh fuck like you're hit with a truck but it's really not that big of a deal like I said in the beginning it was basically like hey

you're showing you have um clinically like through the through this testing and through what you self-reported through the testing you are showing clinical levels of like distress like you're not okay like this is not okay and basically it was like bitch go to therapy it was like hey like you're fine like you're okay like you can you're a functioning human being of society like this isn't like a crippling disorder or like diagnosis or whatever it's just it's you got stuff to work on and keep working on and keep working through and um this goes to my next thing I learned okay let's get into it took me 400 episodes to get here I am an intellectualizer okay I am I I did not know this about myself so wait back to the testing and all that because I

didn't finish when we got the when I got the results and all that um or I feel like I I explained everything I took the test I got my results um I he's like it's ADHD in a generalized mood disorder which is like depression anxiety stress uh what was the other one um trauma oh trauma was the biggest one that I like self-report on that I haven't so that that's what the shit I need to work through okay let's get into this so I I learned something new on TikTok every day who doesn't right and it's very it's TikTok is helpful and it's also harmful right there's there's And like, especially when it comes to educational videos about mental health and feminism, most of it's more hurtful or more harmful than helpful, in my opinion. There's like a few topics. I feel like the topics for me that I have to be very careful of getting swayed too far one way or the other with are mental health TikTok videos, motherhood TikTok videos.

We've kind of talked about that on my show here recently and feminism, uh, womanhood type videos, because you can get confused. And that is another tip I have a social media addiction. Like you, you really have to be conscientious of what you're absorbing on a regular basis. So when you're on TikTok. The algorithm knows what you've watched. It recommends videos that your, your for you pages feeding you stuff constantly. And it's, it's wiring your brain. Like literally, like if you're a TikTok early, like myself, like I'm on it, I'm learning. I'm, I'm, I honestly love it for learning. Like I learned this new term intellectualizer and I'll get into what that means. And, um, when it comes to like trauma and therapy and all that, cause I did not know this

about myself and I cannot believe it it makes so much sense but we'll get into it in a sec so I love it I love learning I'm such a curious person it's such a great resource there's amazing communities communities all over TikTok people are helping each other and it's great for that but if you're not careful you'll get pulled and you'll get brain honestly like brainwashed in a certain way where you're like this person's really charming about what they're saying they really can they really have a way with their words or really articulate on this topic and this is a very convincing argument and you kind of like oh yeah this makes sense and then you start thinking that way and you're like but it counters what you it just pulls you away in my opinion where

those aren't thoughts you've those aren't original thoughts those are thoughts you're hearing from someone else and a lot of those thoughts that the other part so a lot of these TikTok videos about motherhood, about mental health, like, um, feminism, the patriarchy, whatever. A lot of people talk out of their ass. Like I'm doing here on my podcast. They're not even talking from experience. They're not. And so you have to consider that because yeah, consider the source, consider if they even have firsthand experience or not, because at the end of the day, I think that's how you should make your life choices based on firsthand experience. What you think, what your original thoughts are, because again, with these videos, they're very

snazzy, right? They're trying to get your attention. They're saying these really like, uh, sexy, I don't even know. Like they're just, they're making it sound so good. And you're like, huh, you know, and then you get a little bit like confused and that's happened to me on those topics, topics, especially. But so what was I saying? Oh. Yeah. Consider the source. You have to. It's hard. It's hard though. Like there are so many women that talk about motherhood that don't even have kids. It's like, what the fuck? You know, like they have like their opinions and shit. It's like, shut the fuck up. You have no, you don't even have kids. Like, or it's just like when famine, oh, I don't want to get into it. I want to stay off those topics and I want to get

to this. So I learned this term intellectualizer. I was like, huh, what? That sounds like me. I feel like I'm an intellectual girl who likes to think through everything deeply. And I, I'm a deep thinker. I love to think, think, think, think, think. So I heard this term intellectualizer and this was a this was from a therapist she was talking about it and um she basically broke down why broke down why when an intellectual intellectualizer sits with her in her office they don't do very well in therapy in a in the traditional sense of like um like how does this make you feel the other person with the intellectualizer person will be like when they're like hey tell me how you feel they'll it's like let me think about it you know

what I mean they literally feeling feelings in their body is they they'd rather think everything through which is so I related to that so much I was like I escape my feelings I escape feeling my feelings in my body by thinking through everything in my head and that's basically what this podcast has been up until this point okay avoiding feeling my feelings like I've I say things out loud I work things out with you I I talk it through I conceptualize things I think whatever I go through every fucking my minuscule detail of the problems I have and things I want to work on like I talk everything through but what that's doing it's putting everything upstairs and you're not you're avoiding feeling and processing the emotions in your body and so when it comes to

my childhood trauma especially this is something that I'm considering doing is um somatic I think it's called somatic therapy where it's a different type of therapy where it makes you feel your feelings like they because I I'm like wait a minute I think that's what's happening here I know everything I could tell you everything about myself all the problems like I could articulate and I and I always get that when I when I'm in therapy it's like I always get the comments of like oh you're so self-aware are you you you're really um you could do my job or whatever like they always like tell me like these they always give me compliments on like how like thoughtful I am and how I'm um

clearly like super yeah super self-aware and I like whatever um but the true path to healing okay is feeling your feelings and processing your emotions through your body and not through your head because and I think what I learned from this therapist is that when you're a kid and bad things happen to you you can if you can and this is kind of sad expressing your feelings okay this is sad I just thought of this so it's like okay when you're a kid and a bad thing happens and you feel like shit and you're sad and you're crying or you're mad or whatever you didn't feel safe expressing your emotions because of whatever reason you were reprimanded for it you were punished for it you weren't seen or heard you weren't validated right

so this is probably what happened to me you know I love my parents but shit happens okay we had we had some rough patches there as when I was I had a lot of crazy shit happened to me as a kid so what I learned is that if I go upstairs in my brain and I think things through and I I I talk myself to safety or in my head to safety and to feeling okay I meant I go what I figure things out in my head and I I seek clarity through about the traumatic situation in my head and I that makes me feel safe and okay basically that's what intellectualizers do everything's they think their emotions instead of feeling them so I like this quote I wrote it down here

forgiveness is an is emotional resolution felt in the body feeling the hurt feeling the pain not thinking it when I say like what is feeling your feelings feel like I don't fucking know literally I'm like okay when I'm sad I feel like I know what it feels like to have like a heavy chest or butterflies like I know what it feels like to feel like feelings and I when I have emotional breakdowns which I have many I cry and I'll get into a ball and I'll sob like a good cry feel so good right but when it comes to healing my trauma for my past like I am a blocker I'm an avoider I don't like to I'm yeah major I'm a major like I tell myself like this is what happened and this is what it means I tell myself everything in my head and then I move on with my life I don't

allow myself to feel it because it's so fucking painful right and that's what I need to do to heal and that's what this whole diagnosis thing was about it was like hey bitch go to therapy he worked these things through, you'll probably feel better. So, cause he's like, and then he also was like, dude, you need to fucking, my psychiatrist guy was like, you think you feel better than you technically feel. You think you, he's like, you clearly, your perception of how you feel is a lot better than what you're clinically like reporting here or what I'm like that was fucking crazy I was like wait you're so right because like I do struggle bitch like I do have problems where I'm like I mask and I pretend like everything's okay and it's like

I I hate the word gaslight like but yeah I like gaslight my I gaslight myself into thinking things are better than they are a lot or I'm okay a lot and it's back to me gushing about how happy I am right like how does this connect okay here I am like dream life so grateful for you guys like I love podcasting I love my little podcast day I love my life I love grocery shopping I love being that is all true okay but I have daddy issues okay for real like that's something that I don't talk about here, but that is like, that's what I'm alluding to. Like the trauma. I, I don't think I've fully, and I don't think you ever do fully heal. I think it's a, it's fluid. A lot of this stuff is fluid. Um, which is, which was a huge lesson through this psych test. It was like,

wait a minute. I thought I was good. I thought I was thriving. I thought, which I am in certain ways and that's the that's the thing about life you might have areas of your life that are 10 out of 10 right like I definitely do but then there's like a couple areas where it's like you're in the shitter and that that can change any at any time at any age it's never gonna it's never gonna be 100 so that's what I learned through this I'm like wait just because everything in my life seems like it's amazing doesn't mean everything is like there are things especially when it comes to daddy issues trauma stuff from the past that I suppress and avoid and ignore and pretend like it doesn't exist and does it like um that's that's you know that's not good and that's okay and that that

means that you have an opportunity to work on it okay cool therapy talk hate doing this on the podcast for long periods of time but here we are um yeah I like that forgiveness is emotional resolution felt in the body, feeling the hurt, feeling the pain, not thinking it. Cause I can think about how I felt when I, when all that shit went down, when I was a kid, I can think about what my, the impact my dad had on me and, and you know, both parents are for different, you know, whatever. I just, I think that's the, that's the missing piece for me is feeling it. I'm like, do I need to go fucking do already done DMT? Do I need to go do ayahuasca? Like, do I need to go on? I was literally telling Cora. I was like, it's almost

like, like I'm not searching for anything. Right. I'm not, I'm not one of those people. I'm not, I'm not trying to find. Okay. I hate how much I think sometimes I hate how fast my brain moves and I hate how deep of like, I love it. It's like so great for podcasting, right? You get to like literally jump inside my brain with me on the show here. Like that's, you're literally inside my brain with me right now. Like deep thinking is great for, it's like good for that. But what am I saying? Like, I wish it's just this is what it is you can only avoid and block out your trauma for so long it's gonna it's gonna fucking come to the surface and I think now that I'm 30 I'm married going through

these huge life transitions and chapters and major identity shifts right like wifey I'm not girlfriend anymore I'm not single it's like wife and then eventually mother like these are huge things I think and then you know when you're in a marriage it's like they're a mirror there's things it's such a beautiful crazy like thing that you don't really expect until or like you don't really realize that until you go through it I guess and I guess that's what I'm learning like all this stuff I suppressed and pushed down and ignored and avoided my entire 20s is fucking at the top now and I thought I worked on all of it I thought it was good when Corey met me he was like dear god thank god bless she's solid as a rock which I am oh yeah but like fucking shit comes

up and I think it's related to a lot of resentment and a lot of anger I think I have a lot of anger and resentment about feeling like I got the shaft the fucking shaft okay like they the thing the thing about this is kind of deep you already have your childhood trauma right so you're packing that on your back every day unless you really heal it and feel your emotions right like i don't know solve it or really like work on it right like i thought i did again i thought i did i need to i legitimately need to um because that's how my my family like the way we thrive the way we survive it's been instilled in me from a young age we sweep shit under the rug we pretend like it doesn't exist we avoid our feelings we numb we drink alcohol we fucking we avoid avoid avoid

avoid avoid avoid avoid coping mechanisms unhealthy ones we whatever like that's how we deal okay and we're you know stoic about it we're not and and that is not good for me that's what I'm learning but what I'm saying is that back to like feeling resentment anger and or whatever. I need to get the fuck over the fact that I don't have the cookie cutter mommy and daddy as a 30 year old who get to, you know, like I have a, my mom's a rock, a rock star. She's coming next week. It's going to be great. We're going to have the best time ever. And we've been through a lot and, um, you know, that's fine. But what, what I think is bullshit and that I need to fucking get over is like, you know, like my dad wasn't at my wedding. Like I

I have, we have an estranged relationship for the most part. It's been that way for like 10 years. And I guess I fucking hate the fact, and I have anger about like, I don't have normalcy with that. I don't have normalcy with my dad. Like I want, and I know like some parents, some people don't have parents. Some people's parents tragically died when they were a kid or whatever. I know that a lot of people are in my situation.

I know that I'm not, you know, special or anything, but I need to fucking get over it and move on with my life and just accept it. And I feel like I, I think I mentally have a lot of like, I, I had this expectation, expectations ruin everything, right? I mean, I'm a dreamer. I'm a, I'm a dreamer. I look out into the future and I see this picture. I paint this picture in my head of like this ideal situation someday you'll get married and buy a house which I did and it was beautiful everything was peachy keen there right your dad will come over and have a cup of coffee with you he'll come visit you and it's gonna and he's gonna hold your

kid and be grandpa and you'll sit on your lap and bitch probably not gonna have that so I have this thing with that this like sadness somberness like about where I'm like it doesn't it makes this time feel less sweet and I and I think the way I can solve that and the way I can feel better about it is I I think I'm in the process of like okay I've grieved I'm pissed off I feel like I got the shaft I got gypped like I want the cookie cutter perfect thing, but that's not reality. Okay. I think I need to move into acceptance. And I think before

I move into acceptance and like get on, get to the other side and this needs to, we need to move on is to feel my, I need to feel my feelings in my body and instead of thinking them and blocking them. So it took me 400 episodes to realize that. Um, but yeah, you know what the fuck like it's like a second trauma when you get married and settle down and you're like where am I where's my dad because he's alive but it's it's like he's not there it's such a weird thing if you if you have that too it's such a weird thing but anyways palate cleanser time all right this woman poisoned her husband with banana bread we're just gonna palate cleanse right now because I need it um actually do I want to get let me see what else I have on here we're gonna yeah let's palette

cleanse with this banana bread thing we have a couple palette cleanser videos on TikTok and then we're gonna keep it moving with like current events news Coachella my thoughts on Coachella fashion my thoughts on the recent Florida State University shooting like I have a thought about something um katie perry being a what who cares honestly oh this is who cares oh the nba finals are coming up i've thought about nba segment a little bit um but here we go it's been an extremely dangerous allergic reaction by feeding my homemade banana bread to his mistress and you know what I'm not even sorry. Two weeks ago I came home from work early

now I didn't bother to let my husband know because to be honest I didn't expect him home I didn't expect anybody home my plan was to have a bath not tell anyone that I'd come home from work early just relax for an hour and then my husband would get home. What actually happened was I turned up home to find my husband and our friend in the kitchen just laughing. Now there wasn't too much to be suspicious about at first. They were both fully dressed. There was nothing untoward going on that I could see and when I arrived my friend's facial expression didn't change. She seemed very happy to see me. She threw her arms around me, cuddled me and spent the next few hours talking to me so everything seemed fine it was only once she left that I

kind of internally started to question how long she had been there may I just say I love her act I love her voice and that's half the reason I'm playing this video I love it so much okay but moving on and what were they laughing about because when I walked into the kitchen I wasn't involved in the conversation nobody included me in the joke we just started our own conversation so it was playing on my mind a little bit and then last week my husband told me he needed to work late this is not a regular occurrence my husband never works late and doesn't really have the kind of job where you would need to work late so it made no sense I didn't question it and then at the beginning of this week my

husband worked late again I had my internal questions but I said nothing I need to reiterate that my husband's job is not the sort of job where you would need to work late it's the kind of job where you finish at five o'clock and you forget about work you don't need to think about it until you're there the next day is that kind of job you know so he calls me yesterday about lunchtime to let me know that he needs to work late and I said okay and I don't know what came over me, but I had a plan. I had a terrible, terrible plan. My husband is highly allergic to bananas. Bananas. Oh, the way she says bananas. Guys, this is going, this is going to a very dark place. Okay. It's got, we've got two minutes left. So I went and bought

some bananas. I made banana bread and then I let my friend know that I was going to be dropping some banana bread around. And she was happy. Of course, who doesn't want homemade banana bread other than my husband? There's no way that he's going to come home and have a reaction in our house. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing that kitchen. It was sparkling. There were no remnants of banana in that kitchen. So I drop the banana bread around to my friend's house and I leave I get a call about four hours later my husband had an extremely dangerous allergic reaction to bananas I make my way to the hospital and when I get there the doctor starts to question me on you know his allergies what we have in the house this that the other

in front of my husband I say doctor I don't know how this has happened you know the only thing he's allergic to is bananas and yes I did make banana bread today but I have completely blitzed our kitchen and that aside he's not even been home yet doctor you see I made this banana bread for our friend and I dropped it around there earlier and and then this is the point when I turn to look at my husband and I say and I have no idea how it could transfer from her to him how could that happen? It's safe to say that he knew exactly where I stood at that point. I didn't say another word. I turned on my heel and I left the room. And on my way out of the hospital, who walks in? We are literally walking directly towards each other. The friend. See, I'm not

normally the revenge type of girl. I'm normally the cut you out of my life, I will never have a need to see you again kind of girl but obviously I was in a relationship with him so it was quite important that I did get my revenge but her I had nothing to say so as we're walking towards each other she calls me she calls me to get my attention to say hello and to ask how he's doing I look at her and I tell her he's allergic to bananas I'm surprised you didn't know in fact You should probably clean your teeth and wash your hands before you go up to see him. Clearly, they think I'm stupid. Clearly, they think I would never catch on to what they were doing.

But I did catch on. I nearly killed him. I nearly killed him. People are like, oh, it's attempted murder. If I came home to Corey and another woman that I knew laughing in our kitchen, probably, no, I'm kidding. Like that would never happen. But like, all I have to say is this, you're like, if I've learned anything about dating relationships, dating a man or whatever, it's like 100% of the time I've been suspicious or felt on edge about another woman or whatever. I've a hundred percent of the time been right. So literally take it from me, take it, take it from

the millions of women who have said the same thing, like listen to that and move the fuck on because, um, she knew, like she knew when she walked in that kitchen, like there's something going on here. She, uh, was right. That's a crazy fucking story. Um, is Corey allergic to anything? no I don't think either of us are we're not we don't have allergies like that like food allergies um banana bread I love the way she says banana bread the way she told the story was so like British and concise and eloquent and I wish I could speak like that need to be what did I just learn about speaking in cadence when you talk to speak so that people respect you understand you the entire podcast if I talk like this

based on these cadence videos I have watched allegedly the podcast would be more successful and people would like listening to me more if I spoke in cadence. Like Obama, Winston Churchill, not like Trump. How does Trump talk? I don't know. There is something to it. When I listen to Lex Friedman do his little monologue at the beginning of his podcast, like the way he talks, it, it's very like, it's a very, um, I want to be a better orator. It's

probably not going to happen on this show, but like, um, then I get comments, like I'll get comments where people like, I love the pace of your voice. I love how fast you talk. Like, I love, like this is so this is like the perfect talking speed um I was in bed last night watching of course TikToks um not proud of it but is what it is what it is who you know what we have good days we have bad days but the girl was like this is a long story so I put it on like 1.3 speed I'm watching this it's already at 1.3 on double speed like listening I'm like fast forwarding it or whatever like you know when you double click to make it go faster I'm like we're dying we're slowly as a hue as the human race is evaporating before our eyes like we're turning into plastic

AI's taking over we're addicted to our phones there's just like there's the chaos in the world doesn't make any sense I don't know there's just like stupid shit going on and I feel like we're all turning into mush and we're dying so we are technically dying but just I was I was out to lunch with my friend the other day and I was telling her how I like once a day I wish I was just like this right and you probably see me like baking bread planting flowers or whatever doing all the homemaking things you probably see that and you're like, God, she lives such a soft life. Like she's such a, she's such a, this is such a soft life, whatever. But the truth is like, I'm plugged in as fuck. I'm addicted to my phone. I have

headphones at all times listening to podcasts. I'm, I'm always stimulated, right? Like that's probably, that's, and I asked my psychiatrist guy, I was like, can you develop ADHD? Can these do these phone like is my social media addiction is my um yeah basically that is that exasperating the issues like yeah he's like I've been seeing the up and up taking this for years now um it's not a surprise this all makes sense so yeah you can worsen it um and clearly it probably has worsened it but anyways I was telling my friend at lunch I was like like once a day or like yeah on a regular basis I like romanticize in my head and I used to I used to live like this like when I was vegan I was so calm I was so unplugged I was so present and

literally since then that was like 2014 I haven't been like I've been it's been I've been wired you know um but I think about I told I told her I was like every time I go lay out like I told myself like this year, every single time I lay out, I'm going to bring a book and I'm actually going to read, like, I'm actually going to read the book I take to go tanning. And here I am, like I've tanned like every day or like every other day for a while now. And it's like every single time I take my phone, where's the book, you know? Or like I romanticize being like, like in the kitchen baking sourdough in silence or like I don't know like I just why can't I sit in silence why is it because I don't want to think about my daddy issues probably I don't know is this all like

what is it like I literally and that's what we all need we all need to be we all need to embrace the silence embrace what's really crazy though this is what I will say the only time I like to sit in silence for real is before a podcast like the the hour couple hours like while I get okay when I got ready this morning I listened to the toast so I was listening to a podcast but when I'm about to be creative I don't like to listen to anything I like to be in complete silence because what I notice is a lot of my the creative ideas and the thoughts start bubbling to the surface like I start to like things start coming into my mind that weren't that wouldn't be there if I was stimulated listening to someone else talk listening

to another conversation which makes me think like if I just if I was mostly in silence I would probably this show would be so off the rails crazy funny like I would be I'd be like a fucking comedian. Like I would be like an actual cause yeah. And that's what like ruins it. The constant podcast listening, listening, music, listening, like it ruins it. Um, it deadens that part of your brain. It makes it so you can like masks it. So you can't, but, but what I'm saying is the only time I actually like enjoy being in silence is when I know I'm about to be creative and do my podcast. But other than that, like if I'm just like doing the dishes, Oh my God, like Corey better be in the room talking to me I better have a like a playlist going on my Alexa I better have

like a podcast in like I'm I'm bored bitch like I doing the dishes is not like fun like I'm bored like think about in the past like all of these trad wives that literally just did the dishes in silence we are so privileged I have trad wife privilege trad wives are so privileged in 2025 like we can be trad wives we could be stimulated while we're trotting like we can be making sourdough like we can be watching tiktoks about sourdough while we're making sourdough that is a blessing that is beautiful like we are so like there is something we said about less is more they were probably you know without all the the tisms and the they probably weren't on the spectrum they probably didn't have issues okay they were they were zenned out and at peace

they didn't okay but hi I'm Jacqueline I like to be stimulated at all times and I hate that about myself I'm coming to the internet I'm just a girl coming in their internet saying stim I just want to be I just want we're all just trying to cop a feel we're all just trying to fucking feel something and feel okay and sometimes you know what back to the Gary V quote I have literally mentioned every single episode since the start of this show don't he he he said this about social media he's like we can't fight reality it's here bitch embrace it embrace it embrace your need to be stimulated all times because the world is falling apart and we have to buy directly from chinese factories now because you're fucking uh because yoga pants are three hundred dollars

because these goddamn tariffs like embrace it don't fight it embrace it embrace your social media addiction embrace that so yeah we all have issues i have a few um it's cute though like it's so cute to have issues it's so cute to be to be honest though like I am so relieved that I did that psychiatric thing because I was going crazy for a minute there I'm like I knew it was something I knew like okay but this is the thing am I gonna get on ADHD medication maybe I think what we're gonna do is we're gonna try it and then we're gonna see how I deal with it and then we're gonna you know reassess or whatever because um there's a potential he he this is what's annoying about my psychiatrist

he's like he's trying to do it the holistic way he's like okay we need to get you into you know you need to go into therapy and you need to like like a specific you need to be like with a new psychiatrist um like he's like I want you to we need to like clean the slate we need a fresh slate and we need to start over and you need to like and then we can talk about medication like once you do all this work then we can slap the band-aid on it we're not gonna slap the band-aid first and i'm like give me that fucking band-aid i'm paying you actually my insurance is maybe i don't know i haven't gotten billed yet probably have to pay out of pocket because it's like some i don't know um but give me the fucking band-aid get but also like i don't want to be wired it's a stimulant

it's an amphetamine right like adhd meds or like it's basically meth but some people report like it's life-changing when they get on it they're like oh my god i my mind is so quiet i can actually get shit done i didn't know that this is how people regular people lived so he also doesn't know if Prozac's even the best thing I should be on or like the dose I'm on is even the best thing he's like you think you feel better than you technically do according to the data can't you can't argue with the facts here bitch like your data is showing like you're not okay so I am relieved about that I have a new like okay but also I'm I'm such an athlete with life I'm such an athlete like I was born and raised by

fucking athlete parents just the mentality of athletes and just playing sports like I was instilled in me just fucking put your boots on you get to work like a lot of life or this is this kind of goes back that athlete mentality though kind of goes back to like avoiding things right because a piece of me just wants to ignore all this ADHD bullshit all this therapy bullshit all this diagnosis shit the psychiatric appointment I did it wants to ignore all that and just go keep it moving bitch you're so happy yesterday you're buying groceries you're putting a flower bouquet together you're baking cookies I did bake cookies yesterday like you're having the best day ever like life's good like what's the fucking issue you know piece of me

just wants to like keep it moving get up every day and just ignore all that bullshit but it's really hard to when I hit the ground or hit my face on the ground every couple months and the same bullshit comes up and I'm like fuck fuck fuck call your dad mend your relationship fucking figure it out move into acceptance feel your feelings do I have Oscar have an exorcism I'm like I told Corey back to that I was like I'm like I feel like I need to be like squeezed and like chain I don't know like something needs to be like ripped out of me so I can just like fucking move on the only way that's gonna happen bitch is if you feel your feelings like that is basically the solution according to everything I've researched and what my psychiatrist said

you need to yeah so cool um back to gratitude and great feeling thankful and everything I posted a fridge tour on my TikTok. Okay. So such a random segue here. We're going to talk about, we're going to play another video here, another TikTok palette cleanser before we do the news. But I posted a fridge tour. Okay. I was like, I'm going to show my grocery haul because this is my happiness. I love stocking my fridge and like meal prepping and everything. So I posted a video and like the two comments on it were like I really hope I have this someday this is my dream fridge I have no problems like I literally like after I'm like I don't know who those people were I didn't go on their profiles I probably should have like I forget sometimes how fucking blessed

I am to be able to like go to the grocery store every time by the way every time I go to the grocery store a hundred percent of the time I this is probably related to trying to get the dopamine hit because I need because of the ADHD a little low dopamine from that trying to feel something so I probably like over buy you know it's it's uh but it's like I like abundance right like I like a full fridge like I like to have all the ingredients all the snacks all the things all the time but that's a privilege when fucking eggs are $14 you know and I forget sometimes like a lot of people are out there like struggling to afford groceries I can't say that and so those comments just really put that into perspective for me I'm like here I am with my humble fridge we have a

humble white fridge we moved into this house everything was renovated and upgraded and we didn't really have to do anything but we looked at the fucking fridge and the dishwasher and like they're white it's giving poverty no I'm kidding it's giving like old it's giving it needs to be stainless we were like but but they're they both work right the dishwasher is amazing the fridge is amazing like they both work it's a little rusty on the the uh freezer section i will say i need to like wd-40 that out or something buff it out with a magic mr clean magic eraser um actually i'll help my maid do that i do have a maid privilege hi we have a we have a house cleaner you know what i mean like just shit like that it makes me go like how did i get here you know what i mean

like this is what it what's the quote at one point you wanted what you what you have and that's how I've kind of lived my life especially through my 20s like I year after year I slowly started like refining improving I had some setbacks but like I always kind of had what I I always get what I want I always like figure it out you know so anyways um but yeah our fridge and our dishwasher we moved in we're white and we're like but then we're like we'll probably have these for a couple years and um anyways then we we got a wolf oven instead of replacing the we were gonna do all of it but then they're we're like the fridge and the dishwasher work that's a waste and who cares and

everyone wants that fucking stainless every it's like so dumb it's so that's like so we're so like um cory and i not getting stainless steel a stainless steel fridge and dishwasher is so um what's like the term refresh recession um um coded what's the fuck everything's coded everything's i don't even know the terms anymore um so yeah i just saw those comments i was like but a hundred percent of the time i'm at the grocery store he asked me he's like are you off and then he's like is this just for you or what he goes like oh are you doing a restock they always ask me like damn this is a lot of food or like holy shit what's this are you meal prepping like is this for uh the homeless shelter

like I mean literally I've gotten every comment in the book you could think of and I'm just getting our weekly groceries like I cook a lot like I do cook a lot we're big eaters okay I'm not on ozempic anymore what was I on teres appetite anymore we're fucking eating bigger now than we were before okay I cook a lot I eat a lot I'm not on the the GLP one so guys it's getting out of out of control it's getting out of control the food intake is it's so crazy like you cannot go off that shit cold turkey like I did because or you can you just have to be careful of like your appetite just goes all the way back up and then some I feel like it's out of control so yeah it's just a it's a blessing a privilege I have groceries in my fridge and

thank you god thank you god for this life I'm very happy okay so um planes are crashing uh planes are still crashing so we're into the news segment we're into the news segment here we finally made it then we're gonna wrap the episode in aviation news obviously at this point this is old news at this point but the nyc helicopter crash happened there was a new york uh i think it was upstate new york private plane crash whole family like a family of five deceased died I didn't see that reported on very much strangely because that was I think it's because they were white I don't know like probably uh maybe it was it was covered more on the east coast than over here I don't know

at this point it's like it it was their coverage of it I really didn't see any family of five I think they were like one of them was a former athlete like a soccer player at a big Ivy League school her and her family were in a private plane it crashed all of them are dead so that happened New York City helicopter crash we all saw that happen I'm just covering this because like aviation news you know oh yeah yeah and then in Orlando there was a flight that caught fire while it was taxiing which isn't that big of a deal it's not like it crashed but I will say that, or I'll say this about planes. I don't know about you, but I keep seeing, um, plane commercials, airline commercials, airline commercials are like, maybe I'm noticing it more

now because I'm like, Oh, or I'm like, Oh, of course there's, there's a lot of airline commercials now because of the plane crash situations. But anyways, um, Oh, I didn't do this palate cleanser. Fuck. Okay. Damn it. This is going to be a longer episode than I wanted. Okay. So we did the plane. So we did that. I was going to talk about, I was going to play this because I have a thought. Who am I to judge? Because I don't do that. But to the people who film their workout classes and get everyone else in it, why are you doing that? Can you just zoom in on yourself and crop everyone out like it's not that hard to do and everyone else just came for a bit of a workout bit of a sweat we didn't know we had to show up looking good and now we

have to do the class and we can't just child's pose because we might be in a viral tiktok so you do you but also could you just do you if you get my drift yeah so period i am so sick of it there's someone at my gym that films every fucking workout they do and our gym has an Instagram and I'm always like I catch myself like multiple like five days like three days a week I'm like in the background I'm like I don't know I just think it's like because I'm like wait do I I've never it's especially when it's in like private it's in like a studio class where it's like we're doing Pilates and sweaty or whatever it's like you yeah um it's just obnoxious I look at working

out like brushing your teeth like go get your workout and get out this whole doc doc there we're over documenting things that are not important nobody cares about your new workout set nobody cares about like we don't care you care so you're filming it but yet you're subjecting everyone to your fucking video or you're you're you're casting everyone or what am I saying I didn't sign up to be an extra on this set this workout uh Instagram video you're doing you get the point like it just like bugs me I'm I'm with her like can we just fucking work out and move on with her day and now it's like it's just all it's such a single bitch thing to do not that that's a bad thing because I used to be that way it's like hey look at me and my body I'm working out look at

my ass like the ass shots the push shot everyone's fucking bending over doing their RDLs look at my puss look at my puss look at my it's like we know what you're trying to do here just make sure no one's in it because it's fucking annoying and you're annoying and like again it's I look at working on like brushing your teeth unless this is like how you make your living and you're legitimately sponsored and even then I noticed like I will say the people I respect that I follow that are actually like fitness influencers their content they don't all of the stuff they post is just them working out they never show anyone in the background which I respect like it's just like frustrating what are these comments here my friend was filmed by a random girl in her

pilates and her ex ended up finding out where she worked out that's scary um oh this video is from claire holt claire holt is she an actress um i miss who i was before i saw myself boxing on instagram yeah it's so like people don't even think like what it's becoming like it's almost black mirror-y it is black mirror-y like you're like this is what it is for me again you don't make your money off work workout videos you don't if I respect if like you literally make your money and this is your business and content is how you need to post content of your puss and your bend rdl shots

because that's you're selling leggings or something for a brand i respect that but like when you're a fucking real estate agent from tallahasse i don't know where you live and you're just like before work filming your workout like a like a fucking legit workout video and it's like there's a tripod and you're like really getting into these angles and stuff and you're having someone do it i'm like just be a fitness influencer just go that route clearly like this isn't like you care like you want people to see you bent over like this like just i don't know do it in a legitimate way because you know then they go put on their pencil skirt and they go sit behind a desk I don't know it's just fucking annoying just stop doing it that's yeah I just

don't like especially in like Pilates studios or like hot yoga studios it's like dude I think I'm triggered or pissed off because like I yeah like I'm always in the fucking background and I'm like dude nobody cares like literally nobody cares you care nobody care like but I will say back to like the single thing like and I've said this before I don't know if I've addressed on the podcast like when I was single I was at my most cringe as far as what I posted like and I can clock it now and I don't know why like and that's what you do because you're just you're trying to get it right

you're trying to like get you're trying to get people like follow you on Instagram you're trying to get like the boys of the gym to like see oh you tag the gym you they repost it so then the boys of the gym be like oh who's this girl and then like go like you up or follow you and it's like oh the hot guy the gym I like followed me oh my god we're gonna like go on a date and then I'm gonna fuck him and then it's gonna be like the best thing ever and then I'm gonna whatever then we're gonna get married and have kids and be happily ever you get the point so like you do stuff that it looks desperate it just looks desperate it's annoying and it's not hot like it's just not hot and and I I think it's hot to be here I am on my podcast talking shit like

that's probably not hot either but I get it when you post content especially when you look hot you're fit and you feel sexy and your angle of your ass and the push shot is like perfect it makes you feel good about yourself so like I'll always clap a girl up for feeling good about herself I always say that I'm not gonna tear a woman down for feeling but like don't just crop people out or make sure you're not filming other people because like this like this Claire Holt said it's it's it's like rude it's um trying to see any other comments um yeah filming people without their consent is just diabolical I think it's

It's like you're so up your own ass. You like don't consider other people's feelings. You know, it's typical social media bullshit. Okay, this is a Lil Wayne video. Palette cleanser. We're still on the palette cleansers before we get into the news. I am obsessed with Lil Wayne's voice.

Lil Wayne, obsessed with his voice. Just listen to this interview and we're going to move on. Your best song. Do you think you wrote your best verse yet? Not at all. Not at all. You think your best verse is still to come?

Of course. What's your best one today? Like, we put a pause on life. Right now, my best verse... To me, to this day, my best verse is gonna always be my verse on, uh... It was a song called... My first solo song on the Hot Boys album

was a song called Block Burner. You don't say a cuss word on that verse? At all. You was niggas like, I know that verse. So, you know, I thought when we would go do shows and stuff in New York, like, just stuff in New York, like even a TV show or something, if they have another New York artist on that,

they would always pull me to the side and like let me know like bro i respect that you know that you come up that you rap like that and don't cuss because they would always also tell me because i thought when i listened to you i thought you was gonna just be like a little sing sing song artist where it doesn't matter if you're cussing or not it's like but you really be rapping they would always give me always new york artists oh my god i can't even do it yeah it's like they respect me because i don't curse i thought i was gonna do a little sing song i can't even do it it's like what are the comments like bros speaking and burp oh my god did that just make your headphones vibrate because i'm like is that

is that from sigs like what is that is does he smoke six what's my favorite little wayne verse or lyric whatever um everyone knows life is a beach i'm just playing in the sand um oh fucking she will she will that song is like one of my favorite songs it's little wayne and drake um actually i think it's a few other it's like a lot of people on it I'm just thinking of uh it's a sexual wait what is the line it's like face south ass north I'm Ray Charles to the bullshit and drop that ass and do a full split what is the lyric I'm thinking of let me just look up the lyrics if she will because it's too good uh oh I can do it now there we go I tell her now go pop in that

pussy wait I can't say that okay yeah life on the edge I'm just I'm dangling my feet I try to pay attention but attention paid me that's such a great line I try to pay attention but attention paid me because that's how that's how social media works now attention is the new currency okay haters can't see me nosebleed seats I love it I I've talked about my love of rap okay my okay my favorite rappers I feel like this if someone tells you like who their top like their favorite rappers are I feel like it it says a lot about them right like there's a lot of categories like that um like if you tell me that your the favorite your favorite shows or your favorite like artists or whatever so I feel like mine the rappers that I get like

fucking fuck yeah about or like what do I get like I just like they do it for me are Wiz Khalifa Waka Flocka, Lil Wayne oh fuck who's like my number four um who am I forgetting here like Rick Ross like when he's on no um who's the the uh Coachella DJ Muster is that his name just brought out a guy i don't know there's a lot of like but those three okay wait little wayne wiz khalifa waka flaka i'm just gonna go to my spotify for two seconds because i feel like i'm forgetting like some major i was gonna say like j cole

um i'm definitely forgetting uh yeah j cole asap ferg oh my god debate wait asap ferg da baby but his songs aren't as good as his freestyles um honestly taiga taiga's songs hit like i feel like i'm really forgetting t-pain yeah i don't know all like literally i would say my number one though honestly is wiz khalifa and waka flaka for my dogs are you fucking kidding me for my dogs have you listened that song mentally ill please someone call a doctor no hands hardened to paint

50 cent i forgot 50 cent of course 50 cent random mention here this is not i don't know what this says about me i don't fucking care because i didn't know the lore until recently about diddy and jay-z and the illuminati or whatever the fuck and the the baby oil and the parties and all the crazy Hollywood shit in the music industry but I for the longest time if someone was like what's your favorite rap album I would say Jay-z black album I said that when I was like 15 like I've told this story before but the only reason I got into rap or like pretended I liked it or whatever was because the boys I thought were hot in high school all liked 90s rap so I was like what if I listened to all of these old school

albums and like memorize the lyrics like I remember sitting in like art class with like the hot boys that I had crushes on they'd be like they were like writing rap songs down in notebooks and they're so like it was so like stupid I don't know but I remember like if they if they were playing music like I could like or or like at prom I remember like one of like the oh my god I'm like a pop star like I felt like a pop star moment or my like look at me I'm so cool moments was when my friend I think did I go to prom with him my friend Josh I was like friends with all the stoner kids like the stoner like they weren't like the hot guys they were like the stoner club they were all like really nice to me and I just I loved like they were so funny

right like they just had like the best humor we clicked really well we were always like hanging in pottery class of course they're in pottery class um but my friend josh we rapped to hit him up after prom at my friend i think it was my friend megan's house we did like karaoke to hit him up and i knew every fucking lyric oh my god and that was like this song where I was like if I can nail every fucking lyric on this song I'm that bitch and I was and then I did that and then um those lyrics I mean I should not have been saying those things out loud I mean hit them up lyrics are you kidding me I fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker i ain't got no motherfucking friends that's why i fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker west side

bad boy killers take money first off fuck your bitch in the click you claim west side when we ride come equip again yeah i would like study these rap lyrics i'd fucking met i and i that's the thing about me that I think that came up during my psychiatric appointment or whatever it was that I have like visual like or what's it called photographic memory like I score really high on like I had to draw this diagram this picture he's like okay study this picture then draw it and I did it perfectly and then 30 minutes later he's like do it again perfectly I have like photographic memory so I remember like when I had to memorize prayers in Catholic school and recite them in front of the teacher like they would literally we'd have to remember

remember or memorize like the apostles creed and we one by one the teacher would take us out into the hallway and we just one-on-one with a teacher say a prayer to her from memory and then we get a score that was insane or we'd have to do it in front of the class or um yeah or like we have the Gettysburg address slayed that. Like I just have, I can see words or whatever. And I can, I see it in my brain. Like I see it almost like written out and I can recite it. My friends from Catholic school, we were texting about when we would, we would do prayer circles every morning where we go around the class, the classroom and everyone would pray for something before we do like the pledge of allegiance and then we'd all say a prayer for, or, um, uh, like, like, Hey,

class and God, please pray, or please, um, uh, pray for my grandma or, um, she's not doing well. So, um, if you didn't want to say what I'm getting to is if you didn't want to say specifically what you wanted to pray about, you would say, I'm praying for a special intention. And then what what happened is like, okay, let's say you had two special intentions or, or three special intentions because grandma's not doing well, but you don't want to mention it. You have anxiety because your crush doesn't like you, or you want your crush to like you. And then the third one would be like, I got my period on the way to school and I'm bleeding out. And I really want God to protect me in this time because I don't have a tampon or a pad. Um, you know, you're in

like seventh grade and you're going around the classroom and these are the things you want to pray for but you don't want to tell everyone right so you would say I'm praying for a special intention or so what happened is like and this is when we started trolling and started fucking with the teachers like middle school catholic school time was like we were oh my god we were feral like the worst kids and it got to the point where like people would be like I'm praying for 17 special intentions and then you have to keep your composure because like my my teacher mrs Olsen was so stoic and scary she was she was like 6'3 like bob cut uh or like short like uh Victoria Beckham haircut but like all gray like 6'3 scary she never really smiled she was

very stoic so we had to keep our composure so like when your friend next to you was like I'm paying I'm praying for uh 75 special intentions it's like everyone was fucking around and it would get to the point where like most people would just say that and the teacher couldn't do anything about it because like this is serious we're praying for things like maybe maybe her students went home and prayed and wrote down 75 things that they want to pray for the next day or or whatever and it was so like catholic school i could do an entire podcast on catholic school just it was that was a that was it was like a lifetime that was like a lifetime ago and it was just its own like universe don't bubble like being in those like classrooms and walking

to church hand in hand with her you'd have to like two by two all the way to church like you next you got to stand next to someone the uniforms oh my god just the assemblies um yeah it was a wild time i i'm grateful for i'm really happy i had a catholic school experience because it taught me how to respect authority. I will say, I didn't get in trouble. Actually, did I ever go to the principal's office? Because you know what they did from the jump, the discipline method in Catholic school from the jump,

I'm talking like the second you enter kindergarten is at our school. This is Immaculate Conception in Mount Vernon, Washington, was the second you go into kindergarten all the way to eighth grade, literally. I think it stopped maybe at like sixth grade maybe sixth grade yeah I think that's when it ended the punishment was pulling a card so when you got in trouble by from the teacher starting in kindergarten all the way to like sixth grade you would have to pull a card so

it started with a blue card because our colors were blue and white and then if you pulled it the next card would be green and then it would be like orange and then it would be like red and then it would be like black and then if you got like a black or like a purple card it was like principal's office you're getting expelled so like throughout the day like this this kid was his name was sean he was a tyrant like he he fucked with he like knew he didn't give a fuck about school he would sing we don't need no education like as he's passing in his test after he scribbled on it for two minutes because he didn't even fucking care he was like he he was so like ahead of the times like he's like fuck that none of this shit matters like I don't fucking

need to learn about it whatever so he was a tyrant and like he would constantly be pulling cards and constantly sending getting sent to the principal's office but I remember I had such a fear of making a mistake and getting in trouble and having to pull a card I wanted a perfect record at this Catholic school and I think it took me until fifth grade my friend Walker and I were talking in during silent time, he was talking to me. Okay. I remember this because he was talking to me and I was telling him to be quiet. And Mrs. Haley came over and she made me pull a card. And that was the first card I pulled. I went from blue to green and it felt, I felt like my stomach drop getting in trouble when you're in elementary school and you get in trouble by the teacher.

It feels like you're going to prison. It feels like you just committed murder. I mean, it, Your stomach drops, you feel, and then you feel like they hate you the rest of the day. Then every time you see the teacher, you, you like jolt. Cause you're like, they hate me. I made them, Oh, you fucking feel like shit. So yeah, that was instilled from a really young age in Catholic school. And I forget what the pun, the punishment when we were older was like, like seventh and eighth grade was like, Oh, the principal's office, you know, like they were at that point, they're like, we're not fucking pulling cards anymore. You're going, you're going straight to the, the chokie. So yeah, what a time. So, but that was, yeah. Oh, I did have to go to

the principal's office to like remove my nail polish. I think in eighth grade, which is, which is a bunch of bullshit. We can have nail polish. I mean, even clear girls were getting sent to the principal's office for like light sheer pink, God forbid you have mascara on. It was hell. Catholic school was, it was hell, but we've made the most of it, you know? So, all right that was little wayne and then oh my god this is the the latest trend happening on tiktok right now is like i'm bored tell me your most unhinged beauty hacks or like your most whatever so this one is tell me you're i'm bored tell me the most unhinged sensory issues you have I'm not talking about I hate socks I want to hear something worse so I definitely have fabric

sensitivities or whatever we're like and this happened during the pandemic like I almost completely went off jewelry anything on my wrists or fingers like I'm wearing rings right now but even like this is pushing it the second I end this podcast the rings are coming off I don't like wearing jewelry I don't like feeling necklaces scratch my neck I don't like bracelets I only do it if I'm trying to show out and look hot right like that's the only time I do it if other people are witnessing my product like if I'm you know basically in public and trying to be seen and look hot or whatever you get the point what I'm socializing I put on the jewelry hi just say it like that. So I'm the same, same way with fabric though, because, and again, this happened during

the pandemic because I was already an athleisure bitch. Okay. I was already buying, I was already wearing the Lulu's and the, the, the, you know, the elastic everything. Okay. But during the pandemic, obviously that exasperated because we're inside all day and I gained 40 pounds. and of course that's all that fit um but now it's like putting on jeans I hate all my jeans I I don't like clothes I don't feel good in clothes I only feel good in athleisure period I only feel good in sweats sweat outfits sweatsuits that's I and this is what I hate like poor Corey I'm like fuck I always look like Adam Sandler right like I'm always rocking those I try to like make it cute right like I'm wearing these like cute sweatpants right now you can't see them but

whatever I try to make my athleisure cute for him but like sometimes I'm like fuck if I came home to this every day and I was him I'd be like Jesus fucking Christ like God show me some tits show me some no I'm kidding but you know like I don't in the comfort of my own home I want to be comfortable I'm not trying to like wear a blouse with buttons fuck that like I cannot oh my god to button up a shirt or to like to have a blouse on in my home without company I'd kill myself I would kill my I could not last a day I mean I think I tried like when I started working remote I was like okay I'm gonna try to like put on a cute top for these zoom meetings and I did that last like one meeting and then I was just wearing my I had a rotation every time I

had a zoom meeting at my last company, the last two companies over the last like five years while I was working in PR, I had a rotation of Corey's cashmere sweaters. I would go into his closet. I would take out a sweater. I'd put it on. And then I could live in that, like in the house, like, but it usually got too hot. But even during zoom meetings, I want to be comfortable. I was like, I'm not going to put on like a cute, I never wore like a cute blouse. Everyone. I had a, I had always had a crew neck, always had a crew neck sweater every meeting. It was like a blue one, a Brown one and a red one on rotation. So, but back to this video, excuse me. I don't have misophonia. Thank God. That's when people chew and you don't like listening to their

chewing. Okay. The bitch I had unfollowed cause she got skinny and was only showing her vagina or her um thigh gap and her like shots of her puss all the time because she was like skinny all of a sudden because she claims that it was because she got her medication right but it's definitely ozempic or like I don't know she's I'm such a bitch the same chick though my sensory issue with her and another reason I finally decided to unfollow was because she's clearly trying to make these kind of I can't even do noises when she talks like all of her voiceover videos are very I don't have misophonia but I have whatever the fuck that is on social media when voiceovers are sticky there's a lot of saliva in the voiceover I can't I fucking can't

so I don't mind a little jewelry dangling I get that I get that kind of gets people to to watch the video because sometimes I do that like I'll have like a bracelet on and I notice like as I'm making a TikTok it's kind of it's a vibe you know clinking your nails okay we all see that but the clacking of the saliva while you do the voiceover I fucking can't so um I can't sleep facing my boyfriend because I feel like he takes away breathable air and I hate breathing with hot air because it feels like there's no oxygen I can't explain it better than that sorry touching a microfiber cloth and feeling the fabric pull on my dry fingertips that doesn't bother me when tiktok is continually continuing playing while i read comments

wait wait a minute do i do that i read comments while the video is playing i can multitask that i just thought of that i can you know what's insane cory i just showed cory the comments Corey my husband Corey if you didn't know he's my husband I have a husband I love saying that I don't think like literally I don't think he ever before I told him this like a month ago I don't think he was ever going to the comment section of anything he's on like Instagram reels like that's kind of his vibe he like watches Facebook videos and or YouTube shorts he's not he's on TikTok too but like I'm like the comments make the video 10 times better like they're always so fucking funny or like or you can like find out what they're gonna get like

this is so bad for us guys we're so addicted to our phones but it's at the point now we're like I will go to the comments while I'm watching a TikTok to figure out the end of the story before they get to it so I can like get the get the gist and keep scrolling do you do you do that oh my god that is insane that is how bad it is it's like they're starting to say a story and I'm like okay this is going somewhere but I'm just gonna go to the comments to get the conclusion because people will mention something about it and then I'm like oh okay scroll we're evaporating as a species like this is not we're all fucking we're fucked um wet food in the sink after washing the dishes doesn't bother me okay this one I this one bugs me this is so specific that feeling when you're

in bed and you roll over to face the other side but your pj pants don't roll over with you so now they're sitting incorrectly that is so specific but so accurate or like yeah when they're like pulling weird I get that when I lay on the couch with Corey and sweatpants like I because you know I don't wear pants to bed it you know what people people always give shit okay I'm gonna start talking I'm gonna burn bridges I'm gonna burn bridges fuck it I'm gonna burn bridges I'm gonna of just I'm so I'm feeling am I feeling crazy right now yeah people always give Lauren Bostic shit for always talking about like sex on her podcast and alluding to like how much her and her husband Michael have like amazing sex and we have three kids we're like or do they have three

I think she's pregnant they're always like she's always like mentioning things like calling attention to like sexual things like vibrators lube sucking her husband's dick and that's how keep a marriage together like she's always like a so it's like you're clearly trying to compensate or like what people give her a lot of shit for that so me being like I don't know what that feels like in bed anymore because I don't know pens to bed because I get yelled at if I'm wearing clothes to bed Corey's like what the fuck is this I've I don't think a man okay wait like first of all I think isn't it healthier to sleep unclothed like they've studied that or it's like better for your skin or um I just I'm so used to sleeping naked but I swear to god like every guy

ever has always been like take this off what are you wearing god forbid we wear pj sets that's how I know you're bad in bed oh my or you're you excuse me that's how I are probably also that that's how I know you're like not fucking your husband or fucking your boyfriend is this is so I'm so mean I don't I just started feeling crazy it just came out this is that mood disorder is that what I was diagnosed coming out I think what falls under that category I will never mention it again because it's really nothing it's like hey go to therapy we've already talked that out but the way I know that like you're not I have so much shit to talk and I know some people are like

whatever like everyone has a different situation but when girls are like pj girls and they like wake up in the morning they're like vlogging and they're like like I don't know and they're like they have a boyfriend they obviously sleep together I'm like how does that work are you changing after you have sex are you like putting that on after are you what I don't understand how that's working because there's a particular chick I always have some someone in the back of my head that I have seen and this is so mean but that's kind of what I do here. It's my release. It's how I get my toxic thoughts out. This is like, I have to do this. And if you, this is like, remember when I said how in spin class, I'm like, everyone's so

like positive and like light and open and happy. And I'm like, these thoughts I have, like, I wish I wasn't like this. Like, I really don't want to be like this, but this chick every fucking day, it's like a new PJ set wearing PJs, getting ready for bed, PJs, PJs, PJs. And I'm like, there's your fiance. What does he think? I don't know. And then now she's doing the trad wife outfits, the fucking full milkmaid dresses. And I'm like, Corey used to live in Charlotte and, um, God bless. He lived in Charlotte for like six years. And he was like you if you have okay he's like the girls girls in charlotte it's like a it's like a southern thing but he's like your friend group like if you're a hot girl they will tear you

down and make you feel like shit about looking hot or trying to be hot like what did he say he's like like, um, you're shunned about it. Like if your tits are out and you're like looking hot and sexy or whatever in your outfit, it's like, they keep each, they want everyone to be like, cause, cause what I'm saying, it's, there's, it's so frumpy out there. It's so frumpy out there. And I live in Southern California. Okay. So like I'm exposed to the hottest people in the world. Okay. And I'm just so used to it. So when I went to Charlotte with him, we drove by some girls walking to like brunch or something and I was like oh my god and they're all probably like married their husbands are and I know I'm like I have like a one viewpoint of like sexuality

and like what's hot because Instagram like look at me I'm like an Instagram baddie and look at me I'm always like tits and ass and like okay and it's what I like okay so and it's like what all the guys I've ever been with like or tell me you know and my husband obviously likes that so I just saw like this slew of girls going to brunch or something and the dresses were everything is so amishy out there and frumpy and I'm like it's just not it's it works for them whatever they think it's cute but um he's like yeah if you're like a really hot girl in Charlotte it's like who does she think she is and they like want you to be like fat and frumpy and wear like a milk made dress so this chick I'm like all of a sudden she started reading the bible and posting about

that just this is like a classic trope or whatever and then it was the the dress is on top of that and then the pjs and I'm like if I say this next part I it's going to be so obvious who I'm talking about I can't say it she got her implants removed to get smaller implants and they didn't even look like she had anything before if I was her fiance I mean what the fuck the whole point if you're gonna go under surgery twice isn't the whole point of breast implants like enhance your breasts she got them smaller but only slightly it made no sense and then it just pisses me off she's she's a great girl I'm just talking shit now that was really obvious who I was talking about if you know you know um I should probably delete that segment I don't know why like burning bridges

feels dangerous and that's why I probably you know I could even talk there's so much shit I could talk about the podcast world podcasters people that are doing way better than me people that are like way more successful than me at podcasting like I could go off you know um Um, but it's really wild. I guess what I'll say is this, like who pops and who doesn't with podcasting. Um, yeah. So back to the, I think we're done with the palate cleansers. So Liam Payne died. He, um, when was this a couple of months ago now? So, Liam Payne fell off a balcony in, it was Argentina, and this is the latest on what happened right before his death. So, court documents detail Liam Payne's final hours as three cleared of involvement.

so final moments One Direction star Liam Payne 31 died after falling from a third floor balcony at the Casa Sur Hotel in Buenos Aires in 2024 oh this is I think late 2024 this is really sad since and I feel really awful for his girlfriend since then five people were arrested in connection with his death including hotel workers and his former manager however three of the accused have now been cleared and i think his manager was one of them obviously and new court documents reveal how liam spent his final hours with two sex workers just trying to feel something and cope with your feelings with unhealthy substances and outlets gotta give him grace here because i can only imagine he's going through third the 35 page

document claims liam invited two sex workers who he found through a sex worker website to his room only fans i wonder is that a sex worker website like yeah technically right um the woman the women say i wonder like i'm just so curious i'm so nosy i'm like who were they what did they look like the women say they arrived at 11 30 a.m on october 16th to find liam inhaling a crystal-like drug from aluminum foil so they came at 11 38 a.m in the morning he was doing math or something they say he asked them to source him more drugs before the three had sex toxicology wait they said he asked them to source they said he asked them to source him more drugs so he's like i want more drugs and i want that i want to

plow you oh my god i can't talk like this i'm that's how i cope i just can't it's the emotions thing it's feeling feelings thing i just deflect with humor hi fuck toxicology reports support the claims that liam was taking drugs in the hours before he he fell test found traces of alcohol alcohol cocaine benzo benzodiazepine crack cocaine and a pink cocaine in his system the women who liam allegedly had sex with said he became very angry smashing a tv and ordering them to leave the room without being paid liam died that evening evening um since the court report liam swarmer manager and friend roger norris has been cleared from any involvement he said he is delighted to be a free man and innocent

of all the charges it's horrible uh two of the five charge will remain in prison they were are they are awaiting trial if convicted they could face up to 15 years in prison holy shit yeah his girlfriend kate i mean she was just interviewed on um it was like jay shetty's podcast or steven's podcast one of the two i forget which one um i like steven if i had to pick between jay shetty and i like steven a lot shout out um but she was interviewed and the way she found out was one of his friends called her and she what did she say like

they're they're like have you heard what happened to Liam or I forget what she said I don't want to like speak for her um not only did her boyfriend die but to find out he spent his final moments cheating on her my heart breaks for Kate yeah it's like you're grieving that they died you're grieving that they tragically fell to their death and then also they cheated on you right before they died I look at the the meth the cocaine the sex the alcohol all of that is like the the women were just part of the ensemble of coping mechanisms like honestly like it was just like part of the, the cock, the mix, the cocktail of substances. It was just the, the substances puss. It's really fucking sad. So those are Liam Payne's final hours. Um, you guys want to talk

about Coachella? Like, I don't really care, but we'll, we'll, we'll move on to this Florida state shooting because I have a video of a girl in a hospital that I want to play that was shot and um let me pull it up here it's crazy so there was a shooting at Florida State University last week and um it was awful like just so random and like this this kid um I think his mom or dad was like sheriff or something he had a law enforcement parent with a gun and I think what was it two people died like three or five people were injured something like that was just super random like it wasn't well they all are all these school shootings are random but um you know this this was no different um but I just thought this is what I wanted to say because there's a video circling

of this girl drinking a Starbucks filming a dead body or an injured body I think this was the girl in the hospital who got shot in the ass I think this is the one that she filmed I'm not sure for I don't know for sure the body might have been a dead body someone who had been shot and killed but it was so eerie because watching this girl film the dead body and drink her Starbucks because I'm like this is where we're at as a society and this is where young people are at this is where their brains are at everything is content now including a dead body her first reaction seeing a body laying on the ground shot in the ass or shot bleeding out her first reaction wasn't to go help to go resuscitate the like to try to save the life to call the like nothing none of the way

she reacted was human at all it was had hadn't she had zero empathy and zero awareness of the situation like a human like awareness like the bio like her biology was backfiring and technology took over in that moment where she saw this body and was just like filming it making content her initial reaction wasn't to save a life it was to to make content while she was sipping her Starbucks which is so fucking perfect it was unbelievable I mean I've seen it all like just and I don't know who this girl is I don't know people are like that's shady maybe she was involved I don't know the situation but then a piece of me goes like if I was like oh shit there's a dead body I mean if it's dead I don't

I would be in shock I don't I'm like would I fucking do the same thing like would I film it because maybe you're in shock and you're like oh holy shit mom and dad look at what I saw at school today like you do we all kind of do that now when something is such a spectacle and so unbelievable and crazy like in public you're like oh my god like this building just collapsed I'm gonna like film it or whatever like it's just such a knee-jerk reaction so that was crazy and I think this might have been the girl that got shot in the ass the mantra was play dead play dead it's gonna be okay play dead wait for the cops he came around kind of like the corner of that service road and I saw him with a gun took off running and unfortunately I fell because I'm not the most

graceful individual um and then he shot me right in the right in the rear end um and then my friend took off as he as they should um and all i could think of in that moment was i just needed to play dead so i released all the muscles in my body i closed my eyes i held my breath and i took short breaths in between when i needed to um i've been it's been drilled into me um my both my parents are retired marines on how to handle crisis situations both like active shooters or bomb threats so i played dad um i then heard the shooter come up he um reloaded next to me i actually wanted to roll over and call my dad because i thought he had stepped away from me at one point and i wanted to give my last i love yous um and i figured it'd be better to call my dad

than my mom because if god forbid something did happen and i got shot again my i thought my dad could handle it more emotionally than my mother could while still relaying a message so um in that moment that's what i wanted to do and then i heard him say yeah keep running while he was near me and i knew i did not need to move so i just stayed there and then um i knew it was over when I had multiple officers around me and telling me they got him. Everything's okay. The mantra was. Oh my God.

She's still in shock. Like that's, or she's fucking amazing and brave. And like, but I feel like the way she's talking about it is like, so she almost like, like smiled and laughed a little bit there. Um, and I want to say what, I don't know if it was her or someone else. I just think, first of all, it's like insensitive. Like she's in the hospital. She just got shot, shot in her ass. What is that where she got shot? Sorry. Um, um, yeah. And there, I'm just saying like, I think we need to stop. Like when someone's in the I'm whatever was the CNN of course tracks um someone's like I love how she said as they

should not pointing fault at her friends who are running away from their lives yeah you save yourself in those situations unfortunately like it's everyone for themselves but I was saying there's another girl I think that had previously been in a shooting I think where 17 people died I forget which one and then I think she was in the bowling alley at their at florida state and she's like oh shit here we go again she's one brave biatch but yeah playing dead i mean you guys remember when i did the gun range episode i think i called it panic attack of

gun range I mean that was the first time in life I was like oh like I actually felt and I told you guys about what happened to me but I really took on anyone ever who's ever who I took on what it must be like to be in those final moments of getting shot because I was hearing these noise these crazy I mean I had headphones those um headphones and what are they called the to help what are what are my sound um absorbers what am I you know the headphones you wear at the gun range they're not headphones they're um like earmuffs that protect your ears ear protectors whatever even through that it was like I felt it almost like in my chest the loud booms there was like 20 people there shooting. Um, I was like, damn, this is to be in this environment and to be

shod and hearing other people, uh, pro gun by the way, or am I, I'm not, it's not looking too hot over here in this country. I love how every time I see a video like this or like when something horrible happens it's like the people from like england are like is america great yet like you guys know how i feel about shooting stop fucking reporting them and here i am like furthering the issue talking about them i just i don't know what you do like i just think you don't report on them it should never have been it became a thing thing to do if you're a kid and you're like oh

depressed or whatever i'm gonna go same with like okay they say like the video games it's also like what's going on in the home and parenting and all kinds of stuff bullying and social media and there's a lot of a lot of factors here but um you guys i don't care by the way about this space thing these housewives go or whatever katie perry and the gang go into space like i just don't care um yeah it was just classic performative feminism and I feel like they made it like such a big spectacle that's how everything is is done now it's like we're told what to care about we're told what's exciting we're told what's important and I'm like thinking as I'm watching this I'm like they're making it such a big deal like I get it like

all woman crew in space yeah they they were in space but it was like is it space is it not like there's it was like a 10 minute ride they're not astronauts they're passengers just going up it was it's amazing that we can do it it's amazing that we're space travel's looking more um more and more possible every single day you know I grew up on Star Trek and I feel like eventually that's where we're headed. I would love, what was the Star Trek ship called? What was the Star Trek ship called? Dude, it had a great name. Enterprise, right? That's one thing I will say about my dad. He exposed me to great movies and TV shows. the Apollo no the Challenger

oh maybe it was called the I thought it was called the Enterprise I think that was a series or a movie here I'm looking here there's a specific one I'm thinking of but anyways um so yeah like I think it's amazing that we can do that I'm not discrediting like okay but though I mean we all saw the Katy Perry interview it's just like I'm I don't know what we do do we just it's hard to ignore when it's ridiculous you know it's hard not to laugh at it like people make the jokes like hey I'm just like I saw this woman she's like Katy Perry's like or there's one of the people or one of the women were interviewed after

they went up and down um in the ship or whatever the blue what is it blue origin what is it amazon the amazon spaceship out of the bezos rocket when they went up and down they got interviewed after and someone was like have you ever and this this woman made a video like have you ever donated plasma twice a week for 10 years because your paycheck like 30 percent of it is taken out for medical bills and you can't afford to and she's like I donated plasma every twice a week for five years just so I could buy pet food or dog food just shit like that like I get it like I get it you know at the end of the day this is where I'm at with like celebrities wealth the Kardashians like the uber uber wealthy like the ones that own these crazy mega yachts

like the Bezos of the world, the, um, Elon's of the world. Like it, for me, this is how I look at life. It is what it is. Okay. It's always going to be there. There's, it's going to be obnoxious. It's going to be crazy. I know, like, I know their wealth is ridiculous. I know it's not necessary for a human being to have like, technically it's, it's, it's no, like it's enough for 50 lifetimes, probably more than that. Probably like a thousand lifetimes, maybe 10,000 lifetimes. I don't know how much that money could stretch out for one person, but to live a nice, comfortable life. Um, but I don't, it kind of goes with everything. I, I just, I don't complaining about it. Doesn't do anything. You know what I mean? I, this,

this goes for a lot of stuff like it's not going to change there's always there's always going to be richer people than you people that have more money people have a better lifestyle people that can fly to space and you can't you can't buy eggs but they can go to space and they can it just is what it is you know and is it ridiculous and crazy not really it's like hey they wanted to go to space they went to space they figured out they have access to that it's like I don't know um but I just feel like if I I definitely would not be going up in one of those because I just every time I see videos of these rockets taking off

I feel like they explode like were they they had to have in the back of their mind like I could die like this is a this is potential like we're not making it back moment like so for that reason i will give them credit or whatever and not that this is my issue i'm like okay women have been going to space for years there this is not something crazy special like they're not astronauts there was just an okay this is what i was thinking i was like wasn't there just a woman stuck in space for 10 months or something like an actual astronaut like we should be all of our attention and energy and focus should be on like her her life who she who is she like we should be like celebrating her and and that

whole situation because can you fucking imagine 10 months I think that's how long it was in space stuck and or you weren't really stuck you could have come down sooner but there was like political issues and NASA versus SpaceX or whatever issues like that's crazy like that to me is like okay that's worth my time and energy but Katy Perry going to space it's like whatever a lot of the things going on the world it's like we'll forget this in a month we will forget this no we'll forget this it's already forgotten it was a new story last week this is why life doesn't feel real or like it's just getting crazy everything moves so quickly the 24-hour news cycle moves so quickly where nothing seems important for a moment

five women i think it was five women going to space it's important for five minutes and then it's It's forgotten. And that's why everything, things don't, we're overexposed. We're just overexposed to big events, big news, wars, politics, culture, big cultural shifts or trends and TikToks and all of that. we're so overexposed where it's desensitizing us it's like nothing's interesting nothing's exciting women going to space is eye roll like who cares we're like 60 years ago if they did that it'd be like holy shit these women are going to space but that's where we're at now

that's where our brains are at now we're just fucking over everything we're it's like that's how that's how I feel especially when I do my podcast I'm like that's why you hear me say a lot like I don't fucking care because it's like same shit different week same big news story different week what's it gonna be it's always something and I think that's what you realize as you get older and I started clocking this during the pandemic I was like I just started noticing patterns were like every month actually you know when I started noticing this when the plane crashed on the Hudson river that year, I started noticing patterns of tragedies in our world. And I noticed, okay, this, this was the year when the plane crashed in the Hudson and

like a few other things happened. I think it's because I bought the life magazine about whatever year that was. And it documented every single big event. And I feel like at that age, I must've been like 22 maybe that's when I really I became hyper aware of like okay there's always going to be tragedy there's always going to be war there's always going to be horrible news there's always going to be awful things happening in the world there's always going to be trends there's always going to be a popular celebrity an unpopular celebrity someone going to jail someone getting murdered like it's never not happening for life for your entire life so I think you just have to develop a healthy relationship with that fact and just like instead of getting like pissed

off all the time and all these stupid news stories but it's really hard not to when it's like ridiculous shit it's really hard not to the things about life that used to feel wholesome and sweet and important and like good for the soul because of technology just don't feel like that anymore and Corey and I were talking about this over dinner the other night I'm just so grateful for my childhood and my upbringing while it was traumatic we covered that it was sweet like I had it made you know and it's a new we're in a new era you can't go to a kid's birthday party anymore without

a fucking theme that's like perfect for instagram pics or whatever and like but yet we were all you know my parents like the moms were doing that in the 90s too like we were we were still posturing we were still like trying to keep up with the joneses back everything was the same it's just now everything's documented I guess my issue is that it's information overload we're overexposed there's we've got this 24-hour news cycle that we're overexposed to at all times and we're not in the present moment we're addicted to our phones no one can take a shit without their phone when's the last time you took a shit without your phone for real if you were on an airplane wait no like would I take a shit if I've never taken have you ever taken a shit during turbulence

once? No. I think I wrote that down one time as like a tweet. Or I think one of my tweets was like, I can't sleep unless I'm naked. I don't understand why this flight attendant or I don't understand why the flight attendant doesn't get that or something. I think I saw that and I like wrote it down. It's probably like copying someone else's whatever. Um, but yeah, where are we at? I need to like move on and end the episode Coachella outfits do you want to talk about Coachella outfits oh the NBA finals finals are coming up and I was watching Golden State play so the Lakers who are they playing the Mavs I forget and the managers the owners whoever they pan to because like during the game they'll pan to the guys that like have the money that own the

team that call the shots and they look like fucking assholes they need some popcorn they need a cocktail and they need like a they need a smile like just smile look happy they're so they look like angry dads at their son's basketball game like they're so like intense which I get it it's like money's on the line they've got a lot going on but I have never once seen a manager like a NBA NFL whatever like baseball MLB I've never seen like they always look so angry and so mean and just like intense and like anyways I don't know that was something I put on my list here to mention these managers need some popcorn they just need to look like they're vibing out it's like have some fun yeah it's like just look fun look fun you're like at a basketball game like

have some fun I know there's it's a lot it's almost the finals which my money's on Golden State Steph Curry is so fucking good I used to be a point guard I could go I wouldn't be able to ball handle if I went through it would take me 10 lifetimes to ball handling him if I just practiced ball handling for my entire life like he's so sticky without ball like it just sticks to him he can just do and his those the deep shots he makes it's like I just know after he shoots he's like yeah it's going in because you get in the flow and you just you have that touch and it's just perfect laser beam right to the hoop so shout out golden state shout out uh who's my guy i think he just got traded because he was being an asshole or something

or they got pissed off at him butler jimmy butler shout out he's one of my favorites um i just like his vibe i like his personality i watched that documentary on netflix i just I think it's cool how he plays dominoes and likes craft coffee. Like, I don't know. He's just like, yeah. Um, uh, okay. Coachella outfits and lend it cute. Good. Is that good with you? So I've never been to Coachella. Let's start with that. I've never been to Coachella. I think it'd be fun to go once. Like it's some people, especially if you're like, if you're from California, if you live

close enough to drive, like it's your thing, you go every year, you're into it. People always talk about the heyday. Like it's, it's changed. It's not the same anymore. Once the, once the brands came into play and once the influencers started showing up, the brands like completely changed Coachella. So people love to shit on Coachella. I'm not one of them.

I'm really not. I've never been, I really have nothing negative to say other than what the fuck were these outfits this year. Like I grew up next to a Mexican family where they, this is like not connect. It'll connect the ruffle butt shorts. Like they need to stop because it's, it's looking like a diaper and it's not flat. They're not flattering. They're not cute. The ruffle butt shorts plus three belts we're in a we're in a crisis these Coachella outfits are I think a really good reflection of where we're at as a society because I think most people look at the Coachella I'll get back so the ruffle butt shorts what I was trying to connect there was the Mexican

family I lived lived next to growing up um they're they had a bunch of little girls or that were like similar in age and when we would I don't know like I would see their underwear we're like toddler I don't know we were really little and I just remember like their underwear were so cute because they had like ruffles on the butt and we didn't have those we had like the the Hanes Barbie ones or whatever like the ones from Kmart I fuck I don't know where we got our underwear but and so I always like remember like the ruffle butt thing with my Mexican neighbors that were they were like babysit us some time and play with play with the their kids and their daughters and anyways but I feel like most people would say like the Coachella outfits this year were a miss I think we all can

agree I'm not a fashion person okay I used to care I really don't anymore like I said I don't I don't like clothes I don't I like athleisure and I like to be comfy okay um I really hate my I I make it work you know but I just not like important to me enough where I like I want to be a fashion girl but like I just it doesn't it doesn't tickle my fancy if you will like it used to like I just don't care as much um but what I will say is that I feel like this is this is what I feel okay this is how I feel about the Coachella outfits or outfits in general like fashion in 2025 in general so here's what we've got we've got everything trending all at once it's been that way for a while it's been that way for years because of social media because

of Instagram because of TikTok whatever like everything is trending all at once now the fashion cycle moves very very quickly and I feel like if you looked at the Coachella outfits this year it was like rave girl meets it was like boho rave girl meets cowgirl I feel like that's what most people would maybe say about I'm talking about like the girls outfits I don't know what the guys were wearing I wasn't looking at the guy outfits but I feel like most people would say that but like to me it's like it was a fucking mess like didn't look good together nothing looked good together. The belt with the ruffle butt shorts, with the cowboy boots, with the, it was like, are we at Stagecoach or are we at Coachella? I know a lot of people got that. I'm all for a

cowboy boot at anything, at any event. I think it's cute, whatever. But when I see pictures now from Coachella, the outfit pictures, all I see, I'm like, your style is social media addict. that is your fashion sense it's like I look at you I look at the outfit and I'm like okay this this this bitch is addicted to social media it's a mess because you're mixing so many things so many trends there's there's no rhyme or reason it's like we're all trying to be quirky and different but like you all end up looking the same I really respect how like Kendall Jenner I think she showed up in like jeans and a tank top like she doesn't have to do like I like the I think it's chic as fuck to not try and I feel like that's now what celebrities are doing they're

like I'm just gonna do the least because I don't because trying hard and go do putting on a crazy outfit makes you look like a loser now who cares fashion's supposed to be fun it's supposed to be expressive like like right but like if you're really if you care about being cool do less with your fashion like do less try less everything just like looks like sheen everything looks like you bought it off timu or direct from the chinese factory for a dollar thirty um i don't know what are you supposed to wear to coachella like what is the everyone reminisces on like the boho times when like no one had lip filler and everyone showed up in like cute little jean shorts and little like moto boots and like a long lace like vest

layering thing like a shawl thing and like a little like hat everyone's doing like peace signs I don't know like um I think we're just all confused we're all it's we're imploding as a society and the Coachella fashion really emphasized that um I don't know I think some people look really cool like there are some outfits I saw that I was like oh that's really cool really creative really interesting it's fun um but let's be honest who gives a fuck what you're wearing at Coachella the body is the outfit okay that's what we know we all know now the body is the outfit it doesn't really matter what you're wearing the body is the outfit so if you have a hot body it doesn't matter what you're wearing you're gonna look hot it's just how it

works it's literally that simple I want to say that I will end with this I like how Justin Bieber is wearing his hats he's wearing them like peter fucking pan he's wearing them like Robin Hood who am I thinking of he's like he's like wearing the beanie and then rolling it up on the side who the fuck does that you know what I mean like nobody does that that is cool like doing something no one else is doing. Justin Bieber knows, he knows how to be cool without even trying. There are very few people now that can do that. And Justin Bieber is one of them. Cause yeah, he doesn't have, he just, I love his fashion lately. Like I just, I don't care how low he sags his pants. I don't care. I just love how oversized everything is

and how like baggy and just like the fucking beanie he's got a new uh skylark fashion line coming out looks like they're dropping a lot of hoodies and like cool sneakers and sunglasses i like the sunglasses i think he posted some pictures yeah he did post some pictures of it he's posting a lot but i was like i'd buy i'd buy these sunglasses they're really funky and cool um that's the episode this was so fucking long i'm a streamer hi i'm a twitch streamer i need to do this on twitch instead of a podcast who listens to four-hour podcasts i don't know i do i do so i'm sure someone out there someone else out there does that's the episode you guys i'm gonna go fix my daddy issues okay i'm gonna go fucking sit and sit with a somatic therapist

and feel my emotions after this it's just amazing what we do to cope it's amazing like here I am thinking my coping strategy my method of healing is good for me thinking my thought thinking through everything in my head and and talking things out on my podcast for 400 episodes is good for me like this is healing me this is helping me heal my trauma and and figure myself out and it's like no you're just cope it's like a coping mechanism it's actually you're it's helping sure like I can't completely discredit what I'm doing here and what I and how I cope and how I work on myself like I can't fully discredit myself but

the truth is I really believe the truth the actual like true path to healing is feeling your fucking emotions actually allowing yourself to feel them I don't even know how to do that I think I do need to sit with a somatic therapist or whatever I need to like do some sort of like body therapy stuff like because I'm just either thinking things through in my head thinking thinking about it instead of feeling it or I'm blocking it that's how I've been coping and that's not solving anything that's not that's kind of what I've just recently discovered maybe someone would say hey bitch you're fine you're doing fine and I know that I am I know that

this is probably giving like she's overthinking which is hi I'm an intellectualizer it's what we do here um but I think it all comes back to my need to feel like I'm in control and I want to feel safe so if I can think things through and tell myself in my head everything's okay then I feel safe and I feel like I'm okay I'm in control things are okay because the second I start to feel things I spiral and I don't in my head I feel out of control so then I'll think my way back to feeling in control and telling myself I'm like okay which is just a band-aid it's just and it's a avoiding it how fucked up is that I think I need to tell myself I don't know what I need to tell me I need someone to tell me what I need to tell myself this is too much

I told you at the beginning of this I was like I bit off way more than I can chew today what time is it I don't the day is over this podcast was way too long so I'm really grateful for your listenership thank you so much for hanging out thanks for being here I really mean it like this is my god-given gift and I'll never doubt myself that's my other thing like I never I said I'll never I'm not stopping and I'm never gonna doubt myself because you do have your days where you're like I rarely have them though I'm so I know I have the delusion thing I don't give a fuck I know I have it it's how I that's just you have to with social media who gives literally um but yeah there's room for everyone at the table I don't know where you're at with like

wanting to do social media or like quitting your corporate job or whatever but like there's room for everyone if you build it they will come the audience will come the money will come everything will come you just can't you just don't stop and show up every single day that's what you have to do it's really that simple so and just yeah hard work beats talent I think god Logan Paul's he he's a fucking jackass but like he did say that and I always remember that from impulsive back in like 2020 hard work beats beats talent I wrote that down actually and he said fitness is the first step to greatness I also wrote that I wrote that down and I also have a fucking podcast episode called Logan Paul HMU Logan Paul hit me up

I have said the I have so many chapters this podcast if you if you listen from day one I mean holy shit I literally have a podcast called Logan Paul hit me up. Little did I mean, I, I don't even, I don't even know what I was alluding to that. Like, what was that about? I'd have to go listen to it again. All right. That's it. Thanks so much for hanging out. Thanks for your listenership. I really appreciate you. That's my new word. Listenership. Thanks for being here. Please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now. I'm on Apple, Spotify, Google, Google podcast, Stitcher, Breaker, Overcast, wherever you listen to podcasts, please hit that subscribe button and review the show

five stars while you're there if you made it this far the least you could do is leave me a five star review okay so go hit that five star button on spotify or apple thank you and then subscribe to my youtube channel this is a video and audio podcast you can watch the full length youtube video on youtube at the jacqueline monroe show and follow me on tiktok and instagram at jacqueline monroe and finally if you want to support the show totally forgot this at the beginning patreon.com slash TJMS, patreon.com slash TJMS. Go check it out. It's my little subscription service over on Patreon, patreon.com slash TJMS. Thank you so much. And I'll talk to you next week. We'll be right back.

How this rivalry becomes my dynasty I know there's no turning back I've got adrenaline wasted So mad I can taste it I know there's no turning back I'll do what it takes, I ain't making mistakes like that I'll bleed on your face just to make you go take it back I lose my shit, I go crazy when I'm mad

And now you gon' wish you had shut the fuck up real bad And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back And now that I'm gone, yeah, I know there's no turning back