The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 41- Feel-Good Nostalgia

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Feeling better!! Happy Wednesday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Episode 41. Welcome back to the podcast. what's up guys it's Jacqueline welcome back to the podcast happy Wednesday all right let's get this off the table check in with my symptoms right now yesterday was my sick day and look I don't want to bother you guys and bore you and bond with you over personal issues like that like having like a little you know sinus issue or whatever like it's boring I don't like when people go to the internet to complain and I kind of feel uncomfortable that I did that yesterday but I should check in you know what I mean this is my mental gym this is my verbal morning pages. I gotta, I gotta let you guys know that I'm feeling better today. I, but I'm not

feeling great. Um, with that being said, um, I've been researching COVID symptoms and I should not be doing that because I have a weird taste in my mouth and I know COVID strips your taste buds and you lose your taste. And I'm like, shit, is this, this, is this the start of something new? Is this the start of something bad? I have a metal taste in my mouth. I'm like, what the fuck? Every, I want to brush my teeth every five minutes it's like I can't this weird taste won't go away and like I don't know why I'm continuing to drink coffee in fact I went black this morning with my coffee I didn't put any um like milk in it or any like sugar or anything I'm trying to be really mindful with like first of all I know I shouldn't even drink coffee if I don't feel well but

yeah I got a podcast I got to show it for you guys I got to I got to bring the energy for the last 40 episodes episode 41 today I mean I feel like I do a pretty decent job bringing the energy and today's no different I don't care if I feel a little sick you know what I was thinking about it my mom I was reflecting I'm like okay if this was my career job my nine-to-five 30-year plan which is what I hope it to be my mom like I'm putting myself in or I'm imagining if it was my mom in my position, she would buckle down and show up and do it. She wouldn't bitch about it. So I'm, I have her in mind today thinking about her and her grit and her perseverance. And, uh, she's my little inspo today. Think about all these pros out there who push through when it's game

time. You know what I mean? I was watching the last dance documentary, probably one of the highlights of my year, honestly, the Michael Jordan documentary, if you watch that on ESPN, but this the game where he was sick how he just made it happen really inspires the fuck out of me I'm like that's it those are the those you know that's what separates the men from the boys or whatever they say like that's what separates the podcast the podcasters the champs from the shitty podcasters what am I saying you know what I mean so I'm showing up sick today and I'm pulling it pulling it together and I'm doing this seven days a week and I'm starting to realize that this is going to be a shit show if I get really sick I'll probably be in bed and I probably will just have my little

headset on to be like guys good morning okay just here's a little five minute update anyways so that's what's up um I'm just gonna knock off what I did yesterday because it's not a lot and then I have some news updates or some shit going on in the world I thought I'd mention talk about and then I'll talk about my morning this morning because I had a good morning and then I want to go into some fall nostalgia from my childhood past I haven't talked about nostalgia in a while and I realized that so many of you guys have messaged me at the beginning when I started this how much you liked the segments where I talked about being a little kid and doing shit because it makes you guys feel warm and fuzzy and you're like oh I miss childhood too I miss doing all

those things. So I'll be doing that later, but let's knock off what I did yesterday. First off, slept two and a half hours, passed out really hard in the afternoon. Um, pretty much lounged and napped for two hours. I, I was horizontal all day. Then I woke up and I was like, oh shit, I need fresh air. I need to kind of wake up. And I did not feel good. I just feel yesterday was just an achy, weird day. It was cold. It felt like I had the flu, but I don't know what's going on again I don't want to mention these symptoms like this is fucking boring this is not what this podcast is for this is not why you guys tune in but yo I gotta just be like hey welcome back to my vlog it's Wednesday yesterday was Tuesday and I was sick today I'm feeling

better here's the update basically I woke up and went and sat outside on my steps got some fresh air sat there and deleted 300 emails I was neglecting I have two different I have like different emails you know what I mean and one of them is it's just annoying it's like I actually pay attention like I kind of like getting sent um promo stuff from different companies and different brands like I like to know what's up and because sometimes you never know it's something you're like oh shit like I got a discount for Amazon Prime Day so I was like oh if I unsubscribe from that email I would not have gotten that just you know that was cool so it's annoying though if I don't keep up with them so yesterday I sat outside this is such a this is like the most boring

fucking information I'm on the steps I've got my iPhone 7 that's part of the news and about yesterday's the new iPhone anyways I'm sitting on my steps I'm deleting emails and then off to my off to my right my peripheral vision this man bun neighbor with about six dogs on his leashes six leashes six dogs six I don't know how that works he had a lot of leashes and a lot of dogs out on a walk and I haven't seen him emerge from his apartment I don't know so long now so anyways I saw him and um I'm kind of thinking man bun neighbor walks his apartment complexes dogs for other people because there's no way in hell he has six little dogs and um well there's like two big ones and then there's like four little like wiener dog terrier looking things

and there's no way he has that many dogs in his apartment so anyways I saw that sat outside I was like I'm getting vitamin d I'm helping my immune system right now because I've been really guys I've been I've been a little hermit crap I mean you can tell on YouTube go to YouTube to watch is I got the palest I'm like my full pale skin right now no tan um I haven't been capitalizing on this nice weather because I've been podcasting and only caring about that and sitting indoors and going to the gym indoors so I was like shit maybe I need to you know soak up that vitamin d a lot more um so anyways I sat on the steps deleted my fucking emails this is the most interesting I am the most interesting girl in the world let's be honest

let's be honest I'm feeling great you know what the caffeine just hit I got a school bus trying to make it up the hill I love okay I live I feel like someone's gonna figure out my location if I say oh I've got a guy with a man bun outside and then I live on the top of a hill but anyways it's so fun to watch cars struggle and this is a school bus struggling to try to get up to the tippy top but they don't tell you that when you move in so here's the thing about living on top of a hill hi brain going off onto a random tangent when you live on the top of a hill people like you hear the car car struggle a lot you hear like at the very top and motorcycles are the fucking worst so anyways um i just saw i just had to call attention to that i don't i don't people watch

that much on the podcast anymore and i don't really talk about stuff going on outside i think yesterday I mentioned a beer truck but it hasn't hasn't been that heft you know the episodes have been really missing that lately so I'll try to keep my my left eye I have like my peripheral vision I'm like staring at the camera like I don't know if I should look at you guys or outside what's more important right now because I'm using that uh that window as my as my uh it provides me so much creative content to talk about dude I was thinking about it I have so okay I still so much shit to talk about yesterday but podcast studios with no windows and just so much soundproof around it would drive me fucking nuts I'm down for the lower quality shit like that where it

doesn't sound that great I'm down for that and a nice window with a great view I can watch cars I can watch people. I can watch airplanes. I can watch the city. I can, I see trees. It's so beautiful. And I don't know, I'm more down for that than if I do this seven days a week, I want to be comfortable and I want to like my office space. And, um, dude, I'm living my dream right now. I haven't mentioned that in a while earlier, but, or haven't mentioned that in a while, but I was going to vlog on my, or do a little IG, like life update this morning and talk as soon as I woke up and say like guys every morning it feels like Christmas I can't wait to podcast that's still how it feels I'm 41 episodes deep 41 days in a row and I feel like it's that Christmas

morning feeling every single morning I wake up all right enough about that shit um let's talk about the news yesterday we got Dave Portnoy from Barstool popping out a podcast with Josh Richards from the Sway House if you guys are TikTok um viewers or you guys have a TikTok he's one of the boys the pretty boys from the Sway House who's like he's honestly a he's a shrewd businessman I refer to myself as a shrewd businesswoman almost every podcast but he's a shrewd businessman I mean he's young he's 18 and anyways they came out Dave and him came out with a podcast called BFF podcast I don't know it's a little interesting I'm gonna I think they're gonna talk boy stuff and business but um from like he's like his mentor Dave's like it's

like that kind of a thing because he's got he's 18 and Dave's older and you know what I mean so that came out yesterday um I had a thought about podcasting too how I feel like back when YouTube started popping off where it was like oh shit this is now a career path and people are like legit like this is their like their this is how they make their living I'm starting to recognize that with podcasting like yeah it's been around forever and a good decade where people have been tuning in but now I'm like everyone is starting a podcast and I mentioned yesterday that I recognized that when we're all like as a collective we've all seen the social dilemma we've decided that we are addicted to our phones and we're on our screens too much and so

I think it's a wonderful thing that I've decided just like hey tooting my own horn hi um but if people are going to be more conscious of their screen time they can still listen to you if you have a podcast so you can still keep their attention because we're all attention whores out here and that's a thing that sucks to admit how attention is how people make their money now like the more attention you get the more money you can make and that's just how it is that's just it's just the way it is it's how the world works now and I think I don't want to say there's a lot it there's a lot of negatives in social media and being a content creator and like it's kind of I had this other deep thought not to get on a different tangent but like it's kind of weird

how we put ourselves out there online like look at me look at me and like we want like it's not like the people decide hey you're great it's like you put yourself out there and you're like I'm great I'm great I'm great everyone pay attention to me everyone pay attention to me and it's kind of thirsty and kind of weird where if you were discovered as like a it's kind of like I'm jealous of athletes in that way where they get scouted and it's like they are good and then people recognize oh they're they're a great athlete where in entertainment it's like we're all just like so like self-obsessed and like or whatever like the only way to do it really is to put yourself out there like I'm doing every day seven days a week and being like look at me listen

to me subscribe like but it's just it's kind of I'm frustrated by that because I don't know someone's got to fucking do it there's a position in this world for everyone there's a there's you know this it takes all kinds you know what I mean and we need entertainers we need voices we need people to talk and you know on a podcast and I'm definitely like cut out for this shit it's my love it's my passion it's my life dream so here I am um and not to go on another tangent but let's do it hi uh I don't feel sick at all I know I kind of mentioned the beginning like I don't feel that great but now I'm feeling amazing I'm staring at my coffee like I just made eyes at it because I just want to shout out caffeine

right now um I I do get like a little bit in my head about how the reason I'm doing this podcast is to get close to myself and and really like check in and know myself and become like does that make sense because I've been distanced from because I check in on other people on social media that are distracting me from myself and so this is essential for me to do every day to keep that close relationship with myself it's like writing in a journal except I'm talking it out that's how I would describe what I do here seven days a week so essential I can't go a day without it at this point I'm like obsessed but now I'm like thinking well now I'm distracting other people from their own fucking lives if they're listening to me but it's not that deep but I know I know I gotta like

you know not overthink it which is fucking impossible for me but I hadn't thought about that I'm like look take me in small doses I know I'm here seven days a week but don't get distracted from yourself too much and get caught up in my life make sure you're checking with yours and I can't recommend honestly talk therapy would be it if I it's like therapy without a therapist sitting across the table I'm getting zero feedback you know what I mean it doesn't it's not the same thing but talking shit out is so therapeutic um all right so anyways I mentioned the Dave Portnoy podcast drop okay next we got a cougar a cougar video circling the internet right now of this guy who got like chased or not the cougar never really like came and caught up to him but

this cougar for six minutes I watched this video yesterday where the cougar was like hissing at him and I've never seen a cougar's body contort like it did when it was it was like the angles its shoulders like dislocated and his legs spread out wide it's like back arch like when a cat gets pissed off and it arched it was so crazy it was like slapping its legs it's like dislocated shoulders I'm trying to do it for the video podcast right now but you can't really tell it's like the the paws were out wide in the front back arched head down but then it was like pawing the ground the tail was slapping so when he was terrifying video of this guy on i think it was like a hike or whatever but he made it at one point the cougar just ran away so anyways there's

some uh juicy news from yesterday i don't know how to talk about the news dude this isn't i'm not a news reporter but i just want to mention shit i saw while i was dying of coronavirus yesterday for all the entire day i was just on my phone feeling like shit taking long naps just not having energy it was great scrolling so much social media um oh this is really important information i consider this news my neighbor does not know how to shut her fucking door all right we got the same door i'm sitting outside and deleting emails yesterday you know what i was doing I'm chilling right and I was like look I have the same door as you and they don't slam like that and I have a theory I think she she's kind of an acre I don't know I know she lost her

job like me and everything but like I know I want to you know have some empathy and great or like love for her you know who knows what's going on in her life she seems like a nice woman but like her door slamming is like she's doing it on purpose and I don't know if her door is sticky like if the building has shifted but it's starting to really drive me fucking nuts just like the chairs rumbling upstairs right now I got those fucking kitchen table chairs every morning when I record you guys scroll back five episodes it's like I totally bitched about it but um and that's a toes curled under episode because that's how I feel when I hear that door slam my toes also curl curl under I get real frustrated I'm like look we have the same door

just close it gently all right it's not it's like boom I can't I don't I can't do a sound effect right I don't have anything around me right now that could slam that hard because that's how hard she fucking slams it I have a pumpkin maybe I can drop that okay there you go for kind of like reference there okay so that's news um did another piece of news totally important you guys know this as well um my new garbage bags smell like baby diapers and I'm getting I'm just fucking frustrated so that's news in my life I was like look I've had these for two weeks and I'm like what does this remind me of what does this smell remind me of and I'm like this is like when you open a package of baby diapers it's like

not dirt I'm not talking about like a dirty shitty diaper I'm just saying that the scent is like baby diaper like baby powdery it's so gross and they're I got these uh they're from Vons I don't think they're glad what brand are they they're not they're not a knockoff brand they're not like Vons brand or whatever signature select it's like I think it's glad I don't know what's going on but it's like baby diaper baby powder smell and I'm really annoyed by that dude sharing the good news of the world Jacqueline's fucking garbage bag smell like diapers all right um we got the bachelorette premiering last night and uh decided to watch bad friends on YouTube instead i was like i know it's i got youtube tv now so i can see live shit because i want to watch football

this season and i didn't have tv for a while and or had it and i didn't have it and then i have it back on youtube tv oh my gosh you guys like didn't need to know all that those details but i saw that oh the bachelorette premiere is on and people are all everyone's posting on on social media i'm like i was like i don't fucking want to watch it i don't know like that's but here's the thing it's because there's a new episode of bad friends and i was like i want to watch that instead that's how you know i'm passionate about podcasting and i can't shut the fuck up about it i didn't want i i wanted to watch bobby lee andrew santino sick with coronavirus tuning in from a different he wasn't in the studio and who was the other guy he's so funny let me talk let me get his

name up i just followed his instagram it's like nick no rick glassman he was like in the room too in the studio funny as shit like i just i'm i was like more excited to watch that than the bachelor premiere, and I was kind of, like, well, maybe, I, thing is about The Bachelorette, The Bachelorette this season is there's a guy from San Diego in it, so I feel like I should watch it, because I've seen him on social media through other people's, like, like, I'm not, like, friends with any of these people, but I've, like, I follow some of them, and I, like, have seen him through their pics before, so I, like, know who he is, and I know, like, that circle or whatever, so I'm, like, oh, like, it'd be kind of cool to watch and see what goes on this season, but anyways, I didn't

watched that I watched um bad friends so anyways um let's talk about this morning I had a great morning let's get into it ah should I have one more thing to say about yesterday I'm looking at my dms um there's a guy from New York that I've been sort of in the dms with for a long time now who's like I'm coming because he's from San Diego and he now he's in New York and whatever but he's like I'm coming home for Thanksgiving so I know that means he's coming to San Diego and I'm like I'm going home for a month and he's like no I'm just like yo just say like yo you want to like just be more direct I don't know sometimes he says stuff where I'm like what are you trying to do to me you know what I mean like let's meet up but just say it anyways so that happened

yesterday um there's been a lot of situations with him where I'm like confused I don't know he's he's like I can tell I just need to meet him it's not is that that type of thing because sometimes the banter in the DMs is just not flowing. Like, I don't know. I don't want to piss. I don't know if he's even listening. I have no clue. But yeah, I've been prospecting. I'm still like, okay, Jacqueline wants to be single and do her podcast and not worry about boys right now. But I've been, my eyes are open. My head is high, especially in public, especially at the gym. I'm flirting. I'm making conversations. So I'm kind of getting back into it. But um i don't know sometimes i'm just like it's not working in the dms like i want it to

is it worth meeting them i probably yeah because instagram is not fucking real life jacqueline anyways um he's really hot it's just one of those things where i'm like jacqueline he's so hot but like okay anyways um did i just trigger anyone sorry i'm talking about boys again i know a lot of you guys are boys and you're like pissed off by that probably but i don't know it's just it this is what it is plenty of fish in the sea look there's a thousand there's probably a hundred million jacklins out there you know what i mean so don't just don't get sad it's all good um this morning all right i made a goal this week on monday it's currently wednesday to go on a walk excuse me i got a drink

spitting out my ice cubes don't tell my dentist i'm chewing them too um this is a train wreck holy shit ew no one listen to this tune like mute that part um I made an intention and goal this week to do a morning walk before the podcast get fresh air really feel like I need to be outside in the out in great in the in the great outdoors more um especially approaching going home for Christmas because I'll be up in the northwest in the Seattle area it's gonna be cold as shit no vitamin d no access to vitamin d and I'll be around a lot of people a lot of family a lot of relatives and I don't want to get sick so I'm thinking Jacqueline's gonna boost her fucking immune system from here on out for the rest of

pretty much go home in a month and a half and for Thanksgiving all the way through Christmas I don't know should I be telling you guys these details is this too I don't know whatever I've been alone all year and I'm going home for a month to see my family and celebrate 2020 together with them so my goal right now is to get out in the sun as much as possible get my little tan on go to the beach a lot more so um yeah I went on a morning walk I feel I felt better when I woke up so I did that I listened to um Call Her Daddy uh the latest episode and Alex moving to LA she's moving to LA with her uh best friend Lauren because she just broke up with her boyfriend anyways a long story so I'm excited for her for that um coming out to the west coast that's cool I feel like she

told she totally would fit in and she's from New York but you guys already probably know this because you listen to her but so anyways there's some breaking news alex is moving to la um anyways oh i had something like referring to my notebook here the weirdest shit happened on my walk this morning like i don't know how this works but i know i said i live on top of the hill but like i walked down the hill i took a right to go around the corner and the temperature dropped like 10 fucking degrees and no bullshit i was like first of all the sun isn't out, so it was, like, 6 30, and the sun, the sunrise was around 7, like, 6, I checked, it was, like, 6 50, so I'm, like, okay, what's, what's happening, I, like, turn the corner, and

it's, like, freezing fucking cold, like, I walked into a walk-in freezer in a, in a, um, in a grocery store, like, a restaurant, you know what I mean, like, one of those big ass, it felt like that, like, a refrigerator, not a freezer, it was cold, and I was so confused, I'm, like, how does i guess heat does rise like it came down the hill it was hot where i was at dropped down i mean it's a steep fucking hill to be honest like it's a i don't know i need a is it a protractor compass what's that thing that just decides the angles of angles isosceles triangles and shit is that a protractor googling this stay with me i wish i had like I need like, um, music while I Google the NFL theme song. I did that the other day. That was

funny. Okay. Um, protractor. I don't know anything anymore. Yeah. Protractor. So anyways, the hill steep, I'm looking at the protractor at what, what the angle approximately be here. even more clues disclosing my location. Um, I mean, 45, no steeper than that. I'm going to say it's like 60 degrees. No bullshit. It's like a hill up. It's similar to those hills you see in, um, San Francisco. It's that type of fucking hell. So anyways, I turned the corner. It's it's cold as shit uh that's super important you know that um i went on a walk it was great came home and now i'm podcasting and i feel amazing let's talk about childhood fucking nostalgia i gotta i gotta lacrosse ball like i'm gonna roll out my neck a little bit while i talk

here because i still have these sore the sore and sorest um neck muscles from i think deadlifting and i totally guys this is like when i say stuff like i remember a few things i say but i remember this going oh my god this is a this is probably offensive like someone out there would probably would listen that was like what the fuck I asked specifically I asked the men listening ask the guys out there if their neck gets hurt when they deadlift and girls are out the girls listening are probably like dude it happens to all of us why is why you're just asking the guys is that dumb like I I remembered saying that I'm like I don't know it's so stupid I'm so brave though taking a chance on a talking on a podcast seven days a week in this cancel fucking climate

culture cancel culture but yo here's what's up I don't know who said this I feel like I'm regurgitating something I've heard before but I feel like the next wave I may have mentioned this before is the rational revolution because everything right now about canceling people is so fucking irrational and stupid and so I think straight talkers real talkers rational fucking people like your girl Jacqueline straight shooters you know that's how I've always been it's like just say it like it is and I don't set out to offend people you all know that I just like of course I'm not like oh I'm gonna piss off girls right now by not asking them if their neck gets sore if they deadlift I'm only gonna ask boys dumb thing but anyways I have a lacrosse

ball here because my neck hurts um let's talk about school mornings in the fall back in like 2000 this had to around 2005 little Jacqueline was in fifth grade that's why I like about the years I was in school the grade I was in was the year like 2005 fifth grade 2006 sixth grade so on so forth so um the reason I'm bringing this up is because not only do you guys say you like listening to me reminisce um I had this super random thought before I slept last night and I wrote a little note on my phone and I wrote do we grass because here's what I used to do as a kid I don't know if anyone out there did this this is one of those like memes like a buzzfeed meme like only 90s kids will remember or like did you do this when you were a kid you were a real one

shit like that I would go out so I lived in the Pacific Northwest I'm in Mount Vernon Washington and my siblings and I have an older sister Julia younger sister Robert were like all the same age pretty much um she's a year older than me my brother's two years younger and before school we would like wait like if my mom was still getting ready like for work because she would drop us off at school or my dad like we would I'd be all ready or we'd all three be ready to go and we'd have our little backpacks on our little school uniforms because we went to private school okay I was a private school kid and we would like take our we'd be in the dewy grass like the frost frosty grass in the fall like when October hits well it's like that pretty much all year in

Washington when it's really cold in the mornings there's like frost a dewy frost on the grass whatever that stuff is called and we would make little trails with our feet for like 30 minutes every morning before my mom would be ready and come out to the car the car would be like warming up one of us would go and turn it on that was a thing like go warm the car up would sit out there and defrost and then oh my god I do not miss that whoa I just had a flashback I just got triggered that's not a California thing at all whoa yeah having to defrost your car before you leave holy shit um yeah we would have our little backpacks on we'd like march with our feet close together if this may I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone but

it's like we would push the grass down with our feet and make little trails and then we do it all over the front yard I'm pretty sure my parents hated this too because it would like ruin it would like make imprints once once it the dew went away anyways and then we'd like go in once it was done we then we would like run through it and be all windy and shit I don't know if anyone else has done that I don't know if that's like a farm kid thing to do I don't know where we came up with that idea but that's a fall fall school morning thing we would do um you know wearing a uniform that was such a like if you so I feel like there's a majority a lot a large majority of people out there listening that maybe didn't go to private school but I remember like in the

mornings trying to decide whether I'm gonna wear a skirt a plaid skirt a navy skort which was shorts with a little flap like a it looked like a skirt but had shorts on under it or pants and like that was such a that those were my options and then I always wear polo like you always wear polo and then it was like okay am I gonna wear a cardigan or am I gonna wear a crew neck I'm like having to like I remember waking up and being like just like going through the mental math of like what am I gonna wear today and I have so many like my options were so limited but trying to be like oh it's a skirt day or oh it's a I don't know and then like when I would wear my skirt I remember always too short by the way especially in seventh and eighth grade like

you gotta have your fingertips it had to be like below your fingertips which didn't make sense because it's like it could be way up above your knees but your arms if you if you had short arms I have really long arms I have a positive wingspan of six inches that's why that's why I was a great fly swatter on the basketball team that's why I was good at blocking people no anyways I have really fucking long arms so like it sucked for me but anyways I remember like putting on my skirt and then being like and then having to pick out the next issue the next conundrum was like okay what shorts am I gonna wear under this because I was more like you don't just wear nothing under it you were like little, it's like running shorts or not running like spandex. So that was always

thing. And like, Oh, do I want to, do I want to have colorful under or colorful spandex on today or black or anyways. And then it's like the shoe situation. Am I going to wear my at knees, my audios? Oh yeah. That's coming back. Just wait. I'm calling it now. In fact, I even posted on Instagram. I was like, I want the, like, I want this to be a thing again. Audios and at knees, those skate shoes if you had those that was like a 2006 thing but I haven't seen those like come back yet in force like right now it's like Air Force Ones fans are still like I feel like bands and converse are always a thing and like now it's just all about those is it Air Force Air Forces yeah and like high top Jordans and I

don't know all that shit colorful like I don't know it but I haven't seen those audios in any so anyways it was like wearing those shoes or wearing little Mary Janes with high socks with like a buckle so anyways I'm walking me through nostalgia right now this is my school uniform days and I hope that was a sort of interesting in some way um the next thing I thought about school or like my pre-school um and this is this is like k through eight this is not high school this is when I wore a uniform so I went to uniform school private school up until eighth grade hold on the other thing that was exciting about the school mornings was like first of all my dad would wake up the house with we had my dad was very techie

like I think I've talked about this in the past but like he he did like a lot of video editing and that kind of stuff and we always had like nice computers and shit like only we were like an apple only household fuck a pc we hated pcs that type of shit and um he put like a sound system all over our house which i felt like was so like new age at the time because it's like i don't know i guess other houses probably had that but it was cool like he put speakers everywhere but he would wake us up with i feel good i knew that i would do you know that song james brown right is it James Brown I feel good did I get that right let's google it yeah yeah I think that's it yeah so anyways he would wake us up like that's what the morning alarm was and there like I don't

feel like that was there was a period of time where that was it and then it was like we just woke ourselves up anyways that's stupid information you know it doesn't Jacqueline why did you say that um it's not like he did that my whole childhood but for a long time he did that and then um if he if our parents um didn't like we would my mom would make breakfast sandwiches a lot or like my dad would be like how many eggs do you want like two or three or whatever and like he makes scrambled eggs for everyone and then um orange juice and shit and coffee going and then um if so if that didn't happen so we'd like either eat breakfast at home or we would the exciting thing this is what i wanted to say is we had two different exciting breakfast morning

things we would do I love talking about food on this podcast and like nostalgic shit um my mom would like take us to the hospital this is so random but like we'd go to the hospital across the street from my school and go to the fucking cafeteria and we would get like breakfast there and I always got a like a croissant sandwich and my sister would always get a giant ass plate of hash browns like a whole plate of them because she loved hash browns I mean my brother would get the the breakfast sandwiches and that was always a big deal like are we gonna go like can we go to the hospital today it's usually a Friday thing like a couple times a month it was good it was good too I mean I feel like I don't know it's kind of weird we went to the hospital but it's close by

we could walk to school after um or if we didn't do that we would go to the local like it's called the co-op and we would get bagels in the morning we just like run in get a 50 cent bagel yeah I'm pretty sure that's how much they were then 50 cents yeah just like get a bagel and then a coffee for my mom and then get in the car and she dropped us off at school so that was always fun like going to the like pre-school breakfast time what else went down in the mornings um i don't know and then dude it turned into a fucking train wreck once i went to high school that's when shit got frustrating in the mornings then it was like jacqueline's doing a smoky eye every morning at 5 a.m she's putting on that purple eyeshadow and that liner and she's

putting on a lot of like makeup it's so early in the morning and she's so frustrated with like I don't know what to wear today because now I can wear anything and I went my whole life wearing a uniform and now I gotta pick an outfit five days a week for school I was so paralyzed by that so I don't know high school is a shit show and I mean I was wearing like boot cut uh lucky jeans and flats and fucking like puffy vests with a scarf and shit horrifying to look at pictures and I I'm gonna try to find some for my patreon to post actually I'm gonna do that today it's so embarrassing uh yeah anyways patreon.com slash tjms if you want to go see these pictures you can go support the show over there and uh I'll be posting those today which is fucking embarrassing

but yeah getting ready for school in high school is so complicated and like I don't know so anyways that's I think what else do I have oh I wanted to talk about like mornings going to school um or like the first thing you do when you get to class in the morning okay one of the most exciting parts of my elementary school days was getting my desk at the first day of um on the first day of school and this is so like me but i remember not all desks not all desks were created equal and i went to a private school i feel like we had i don't know how the budget was going there it was like some classrooms were really nice and some were shitty and it's like nothing really ever got upgraded but versus public school i feel like every classroom had the same desk and like that

kind of shit but in my school i remember being so excited to go to second grade because miss Kirkmeyer had colorful desks that look like these you know when you see like Bob Ross with his painting um sphere his giant thing okay you know when he's painting and he has a something not the easel part it's like the giant round plate he puts little paint dots on and you know what I'm talking he holds his finger goes through it anyways the shape of her desks was like that and all of them were different colors and I remember being so excited to go to second grade because I got to have one of these desks and I really wanted a red one and I got a red one there's like red yellow blue and green and like that was the most exciting shit ever and then

some desks the worst ones were miss mrs haley in fifth grade I hated her desks because it was a like the top didn't lift open it was just a open like the front of it opened and you had to slide stuff in like in front of you and you couldn't really see what was going on under there it was like a little drawer without a drawer that pulls out if that makes sense and so those sucked then there was like the big ass ones and then they'd have like a really loose top and you'd have to take I think it was like a ruler to prop it up kind of like if you open the car hood the hood of your car and you have to like prop up the the stick if your car has one of those so those desks were those were nicer and then once we got towards the middle school age years talking about desks on

a Wednesday and I have coronavirus this is so fucking fun I don't know if I have it I just I feel great right now actually but yesterday really had me scared but once we got older it was like a bunch of tables in like science lab and stuff where there weren't actual like individual desks for each person because everyone because we actually rotated class periods at that point but when we had one teacher in our the same classroom all year it was such a vibe to get your desk and like decorate that shit okay that's what I wanted to get into I decorated my desk and set it up like a Barbie house like I would I would like have carpeting I would have curtains I had curtains one year I feel like that was fourth grade no third grade I forgot what year

was but yeah and I'd have like little um like boxes like cutesy little like jewelry box things in there and just so many stickers and shit and that was so fun it was like your own little world you open your desk up every day in elementary school and it's like pink and glitter and all this shit everywhere and then by like the first end of the first month it's a clusterfuck so messy and then there's always a day where the teacher would have us clean our desks does anyone else remember this like was this a thing and I don't know why this is a major highlight of my elementary school experience but I just loved decorating my desk and like organizing shit and there's always a kid whose fucking desk will not shut because they had so much shit inside and they always had

those kids always had the binder like the giant ass binder that was way too fucking big like their parents probably set them up with a binder from the office like they didn't actually like go and secure a you know fresh little two inch one for their kid for the year it's like they just hand me down binder from the fucking doctor's office they worked at or something like that and the binder is too big and then they like try to shove that shit in their backpack every day never then they're those are the kids that unzip backpacks anyways yeah the kid with the dust that's just always like they would be like in class i'm showing the camera right now their hands on their desk but like it was in their hand like they rest their arms on their desk it was

like a ski slope so yeah what else could i talk about desks um what else could i mention um oh such a bitch when they had to clean the floors and everyone had to move their desks at the end of the school day like oh the janitor's cleaning the floors today and i gotta fucking move them just that sound of like did i just move the camera i just like no I'm still on the frame go to YouTube to watch so anyways I don't know how much more can I reminisce about school oh I know the backpack and backpack and coat closet every classroom had a coat closet thing where you hung your backpack up and if your crush is in there at the same time as you there's so much sexual tension I remember being in like fucking third grade or whatever

just being like oh my god like my I had so many crushes and like I didn't know how to handle it and deal with it I was just like I feel something but I don't like I felt nervous and shit and that was always a big or my favorite is when like you'd be in there with your crush and like someone be like oh the the closet doors open they shut it and they both be in there in the dark and I was like oh my god seven minutes in heaven let's do it I was not that type of girl though in elementary school I was like I feel like I was awkward until last year my awkward phase ended well who knows you guys be the judge of that I feel like could be still going on but um yeah I was like my my whole my life story about like me and school and like friends and stuff was

I always had a best friend like it was me and this other girl pretty much for the entire like kindergarten through eighth grade like we were best friends like sisters and I got a lot like I was bullied though so the thing is is like she had friends that she like she had friends that she was neighbors with in real life like in um in her town or whatever so like she'd be friends with them and play with them at recess but those girls wouldn't like me so whenever we hung out it was just us two and I was never accepted by the other girls so I was bullied a lot and then the one of the girls that hated me the most I became best friends with in middle school and that's a that's a story I told about how we went and met the Jonas brothers she's the one that like took me to that

with her and we like re we like became best friends after all those years of bullying and I would get excluded from everything I never got invited to birthday parties I would never actually hang out with them at recess I was always like me and my other best friend and that just like that one, that one girl. And that was it. And that shit kind of continued like in high school where I was always on the perimeter, man. I was always trying to like be friends with the cool kids, but I was never really in it. I was like on the edge. They all liked me and thought I was cool and funny and shit. And then when it came down to it, I wasn't hanging out with them all the time. I'd like show up to parties and they'd all like, I'd be there, but they weren't

like it's not like I rolled to the party with a car full of friends I like came alone I would like drive myself solo and just meet up with people and I don't know it's not that big a deal um I don't know why that's just my life story it's it's all good um dude elementary school private school days what else what else is there there's so many stories I could tell i hope this was sort of like a nice refresh today um because like i said i haven't mentioned nostalgic stuff in a while and i just like thinking about the past and had so many like the mornings like the pre-school mornings you know what i mean and then it's like okay i think there's a whole phase where my parents are like i'm not fucking making lunch for my kids and so

we would fend for ourselves and that was always a shit show trying to like make a sandwich for myself trying to get ready at the same time I gotta give it to my parents though they look I mean they did the best they could and they did a great job that's what I think I can't imagine I'm just I feel like I had it I have a lot of childhood trauma like I haven't even mentioned it all that's horrific shit I've been through in my childhood but at the end of the day I think the sweet times there's a lot of good time mostly good times um especially when things were good like with my parents and um yeah like just my dad playing music before school and all of us just being little bastards as he called bastard children my brother was the worst about waking

up for school oh my god it was like five minutes to go and he's still in bed oh y'all be ready in two minutes. Like he would just shower and get ready in a second. It's like, fuck you. I'd be trying to figure out what kind of skirt I'm going to wear. Anyways, should I wrap up the podcast? Dude, I'm feeling great. I still have coffee left. I could check my DMs and talk about those. I don't really like motivate you. Like, Hey guys, it's Wednesday. You're almost there. It's almost, you know, you're getting over the hump. Like I haven't done any of that shit today, but if you're struggling this week dude you're almost it's almost the weekend I don't know if the

weekend means anything to you anymore in this 2020 world we live in like I don't even I don't I work seven I mean this is my full-time fucking job I work seven days a week but weekends are just like here nor there um but anyways if you're like looking forward to the weekend you're almost there tomorrow's Thursday you got Friday it's basically Friday um I don't really think there's much going on in the DMs. Oh, I did get a question. Do you have a P.O. box for fans or followers yet? This guy's from Saudi. What? Is that my old intern? I had an intern from Saudi Arabia. It kind of looks like him in the picture, but I can't tell. His name isn't like a name that I... So I mentioned, okay, like episode fucking five. I'm like, guys, I'm getting a P.O.

box you can send me shit that's a little premature let's be honest like I think I'll really I'll have a p.o box I actually like paid for it and everything got all set up and then I had I was like backpedaling like Jacqueline this is too soon like who the fuck do you think you are come on like you're like come on like this is this is month one this is episode five like fucking pull the reins back stop so I'm probably gonna have a PO box by like year eight I don't fucking I don't know maybe maybe next year would you guys actually send me shit that like he said he's he wants to send me something from Saudi Arabia which is like dude you're gonna pay for that what he wants to send me some knickknacks he said he knows that

i mean if he's from saudi and he knows what he uses knickknacks as a he's got his slang down as american slang that's sick um so yeah i'm still kind of trying to figure out the p.o box situation it feels kind of weird to be honest i'm like here's my p.o box send me free shit like gift me shit all day just shower me with gifts every day like i don't know if i but i know how that is because i listen to a podcast um i shout it out all the time it's called they they're retired now they stopped their podcast actually they have a new one I think it's called the villager's voice they talk about gaming stuff like video games I don't really know I'm not in that world but they did they had a p.o box and they their podcast was called coffee with crachel and then every

episode they would or not every pretty much like once a week they would test out new coffee someone sent them and then it was kind of a cool little thing they did so I was like oh I want to have that too just test out coffee from all over the world that'd be sweet jacqueline's not losing energy i'm just trying to like think of what i want to talk about more of oh should i elaborate on the podcast beef yesterday my mom was driving home she was like driving home from um my aunt's house which was like a two-hour drive away and she sent me a video like while she was driving just like of the road she's like jacqueline you know just give me their names and i'll i'll go fuck them up like she was like getting all like mama bear she's like Jacqueline don't let those boys

be mean to you so my mom to do that she's like I'll I'll go after them and anyways if you didn't listen yesterday's podcast I dressed some beef like it's light-hearted and playful because this guy dm'd me he's a podcaster I discovered so I follow this guy on tiktok who's like oh god what's his name is it i forget this is like not a good look if they're listening i'm bad with like i feel like his tiktok name is like um let me go to it because i want to like shout him out actually dick daddy chris nappy i think nappy chris nappy they got mad at me because i pronounced their podcast wrong i think i said nappy but it's nappy but anyways he's um confidence chris on TikTok anyways I've been following him forever watching his stuff he talks about like

dating and relationship and sex stuff and um super funny guy and anyways I found I saw his I followed his Instagram saw he had a podcast anyways his co-host they ended up following me and his co-host DM'd me because he listened to my podcast about burrito Tuesday or whatever like the first one I dropped so I was like I'm a contrarian I do it different than other people I like to be different it's like my personal brand is like I don't want to be like anyone else fuck taco Tuesday we're doing burrito Tuesday so he sent me this monologue this 17 minute fucking voice message in my dm about how he's from California how dare I say burritos are better and then I sent him something back something a little bit crude and then he fired back with a

long message anyways they addressed it in their podcast and then I like yesterday sort of mentioned like I talked about I just like told I basically I'm doing what I did now I was like they called me out and I'm mentioning it I didn't really go into details about my response or like what they said I just said that they mentioned that I don't know they're super nice and complimentary which I appreciate and I will say their podcast is um nappy nappy n-a-p-p-i and j-a-y and uh it's it's great I've been listening to a few other episodes and I saw because I felt the reason I saw that there was beef is because they posted a video on their Instagram that I follow and I was like oh I know they're talking about me that was immediately like because he's like this girl DM me

or I DM this girl and she said on her podcast but um then I was going to the comments and they told their fans to um fans listeners whatever to leave a review on my podcast and say that tacos are better than burritos and it's weird because I don't know if that I'm like my app is updated I don't see any reviews on my podcast I don't know like someone I the reason I'm saying that is someone commented that they left a review and I haven't seen it so I'm waiting for these tacos are better than burritos reviews and that's gonna be I don't know it's so dumb and yesterday was Tuesday I was feeling like shit do you think chocolate down to fucking burrito yesterday no so that'll be going on next Tuesday and I'm still self-conscious why did I

why do I have to be different and do burritos instead of tacos but it's also like Jacqueline just like do I want to do I want to be the burrito bitch it's not very dainty you know what I mean these fucking burritos in California are huge they get me pregnant like they are so fucking big god I love them though they're perfect food burritos fuck in San Diego they fuck hard they're not there are not like i've had burritos from like i guess like everywhere i go what am i saying i'm like i've had burritos from every region of the world but they fuck hard in san diego no but they're they're just great they're great here i always get the surf and turf my vegan ass five years ago be like what the fuck maybe that's why i'm sick

maybe I should go vegan I always think about that I'm like dude if push comes to fucking shove I'm swearing too much I said fuck too many times there but if push comes to shove I'll be the person who if I get sick sick I don't want to like say the c-word but I will be the one that does the water fasting and goes vegan and raw and all that shit to like eliminate the c-word out of my body because i feel like after all the shit i've watched like that is such a crazy amazing thing that people do when they get cancer they like fast for a long time they go to like a place a special place and i don't know they heal themselves like that and it's crazy like literally eliminate out of their body so yeah push comes to shove i'll fucking do

that i'll do whatever it takes and obviously chemo and all that why am i thinking i can't okay i don't like this conversation i'm not gonna this is the problem shit you speak out turns into reality like your words turn into your reality i'm knocking on my wood table so much right now i'm healthy i'm strong i'm i'm vibrant i've been taking care of my mental health i'm at the mental gym right now nothing can stop me nothing can break me I'm healthy I'm happy I don't like that I talked about that but you know I've been thinking about death too a lot lately I'm 26 I don't you know is this like the pre-27 age where you're like aware of death more than ever I got a podcast that just followed me on Twitter all right just got a notification

segue let's not be negative right now okay that's oh I'll follow them back I'm noticing that I'll say this I don't know how people find podcasts because like I just listen to the ones I listen to I don't like go on little hunts for new ones that makes sense like I don't go browse the podcast section to like find a new podcast um but I'm like noticing how a lot of podcasters are following now I'm like why are they how do did they find my podcast does it just pop like how does it pop up it's not like there's a algorithm or whatever the fuck where it just like recommends you new shows I don't maybe it does

I don't know episode 41 I don't know it's kind of all over the place it's all good we uh let's cover the bases slept a lot yesterday and felt like shit feeling better today Dave Portnoy Portnoy dropped a podcast Josh Richards okay talked about the news The Bachelorette My neighbor slammed on her door We got me going on a walk this morning Alex from Call Her Daddy is moving to LA

Fucking talked about childhood nostalgia I don't know I'm rolling a lacrosse ball around my neck Because it hurts No people watching yo I got that school bus I got that school bus that was struggling earlier up the hill I don't really have any people to talk about so sorry um damn this is starting to get

super quiet and calm but guys this is what sucks do you remember like every like the first 10 episodes I was like I don't want to stop podcasting because as soon as I stop I get depressed I just want to wake up tomorrow and do it again like I could talk forever that's really frustrating because I'm feeling that today I'm like I know when I finish this I'm gonna be like damn it i should have gone longer i was gonna look at the bachelorette stuff but no i won't do that to you guys um amazon dude i got an issue with a return call ups was on hold for fucking five hours and they're like we're gonna send you the confirmation that it was returned and they had the tracking number they had everything and on my end it doesn't say it's

not it hasn't been processed like it still shows like all it says on Amazon is that I was approved to return it but all of the shipping and you know sending it back stuff that I did I sent it off to UPS it's not processed so anyways you guys like to know these details this is what I would write on my journal in the morning today I'm frustrated by UPS frustrated by Amazon I returned a package but it didn't process. That's literally what this podcast is. It's like what I would write in my journal in the morning, except I'm saying it instead of writing it. Carving a new niche in this motherfucking podcast world. I swore too much today. Carving a new niche. I am my own niche. I am my own niche.

I got a comment on a YouTube video. That's cool. Nice of you to start a garden. I love my plants. shout out Christopher thanks for the comment on my YouTube video I hope you're enjoying see I don't know do you guys watch the video or do you listen probably mostly listen it's a it's a commitment to sit down and stare at me for an hour looking like this holy shit dude I just show up in the morning with a hair in a bun roll out of bed I mean I did get my shit together a little bit today I put on a little mascara and like walked and showered and polished my body you can't smell me right now but let's get my perfume for the show show the video I'm an influencer I'm like a beauty guru this is the perfume I have on today stole it from my sister

in college actually you know what I think every time I go home wait I gotta like tell the story really quick so every time I go home I dig through all my sister's shit because here's the thing when we're all out of college we all are out of the house but we still like we've had different periods of time where we've lived with my mom again because my parents are split and we always go back to my mom's house that's what we do and um my sister's like moved a bunch and she stores her shit at my mom's house and whatnot so this perfume the reason I'm saying this is because I'm pretty sure when she like went off to law school she left a bunch of shit at my mom's house and then I came and visited home from San Diego and then I like found this in her stuff and I took

it that's not Julia I'm sorry but I feel like this perfumes it's had its day you know what I mean you wouldn't want to wear any you're a lawyer now this is not like your scent you need something more badass than this Olympia shit Olympia I don't know I've mentioned this early on the podcast this has been like hey on episode five I keep throwing back episodes and talking about it but dude I got a motor mouth today and a great memory so I'm remembering shit I've talked about but I said that this was my when I had my sales job that I got I lost before um COVID hit and all that bullshit um I fucking called this my office perfume because it's like elegant but it's not like I'm trying to I want to smell good but I'm not trying to like make anyone go like oh you

know what I mean it's like that perfect kind of neutral scent god I was okay this is maybe not okay to say guys I have a motor mouth today I'm feeling amazing dude these wellness formula tablets are the goat yo did I mention I took 15 of these yesterday they're the daily immune support wellness formula tablets I took so many yesterday because those are the only thing that really cure me when I don't feel well anyways I'm feeling amazing but I had this thought I was like oh shit I don't know if I should talk about this hot guy I used to work with at my sales job I don't know if I should talk about it I'm feeling uncomfortable because it's kind of a situation but I don't think I'm gonna talk about it no I can't just out of respect I should not mention

him or anything going on like but anyways I like that job because it was so fun to go to office and uh speaking of try not to like with my perfume not trying to attract anyone probably should have worn my Chanel I don't know dude I miss that shit you know when I've been flirting in the flirting with people lately I'm like I just want to do this every day all the time but I've been so deprived this year of it that like now I'm reminiscing like dude I miss those days where you're just always like in the office oh my god I'm not that girl by the way no but it's fun you gotta admit you know when you're in the office you got hot co-workers you know you just it's a vibe it's a fucking vibe it's like being in high school in the classroom with hot

boys you just like there's that something about it anyways I won't talk about that I will never mention that again but um damn kind of unfortunate on my part how uh that all kind of unfolded but it's all good dude I feel amazing I think I want to keep going this might be an hour an hour and a half podcast today do you remember when I would do like two hour podcasts that's what those guys admired me on the nappy and jay podcast they're like she can podcast seven days a week and keep her keep it going for an hour to two hours and i'm like not to be an asshole but it's not that hard or like i've said that so many times i'm like when people like i just can't relate when people make these youtube videos about it's podcasting is so you know it's saturated industry and it's

really hard to break through and um you're gonna have a lot of technical difficulties and i'm like I don't get it I press I literally I wake up I press record and I upload it I'm so I'm better than other people and my ego is so fucking huge you hear that what was my ego talking but it's kind of like that I'm like it's the most effortless shit I've ever done and I think that's why I'm happy and I'm so fulfilled I'm like I could cry when I say Christmas morning I fucking mean that I'm like rolling out of bed every day I'm just like a giddy little kid like I get to go to my little studio put on my little pearls I wear my pearls on every episode I like put my hair up in a bun and I put my headset on

I'm like we're gonna do this we're gonna podcast and I just now I kind of want to get emo and talk about how I've struggled with finding my purpose but I think I mentioned that too many fucking times but that's what this is it's really that and I want this for everyone this is year and you know Alex from color daddy was talking about it on her podcast this morning um the title of it if you're listening to this later, it's the one called Breaking News because she's moving to LA from New York. But she said something I really agreed with that was like, this year 2020 has taught her to like, just do what makes you happy, whatever that is. And for her, she needed a fresh start. She wants to uproot and move to LA. And like, you have to really just commit and do things

every day that make you happy. Like literally, that's what I'm doing. Doing what makes me happy. podcasting makes me happy I'm doing it and I think in the past I've been paralyzed by starting and committing to anything as like a hard decision because I've been conflicted I've been like and I I'll you know here I am throwing shit back again hey I mentioned this in the past but I'm going to mention again if you're new at 41 episodes I'm assuming you guys will maybe listen to 10 minutes of one of them okay so if you're new hi welcome to the podcast look up listen up. I've mentioned how my personal struggle has been, all right, I got this. So first of all, I'm 18. I got Instagram. I'm starting, you know, I'm in college. I'm starting

to date guys. I want to look good online because that's where they stalk you and see you. So I'm like making an effort to take nice pictures and look pretty on Instagram and like do that thing. All right. So then I'm like doing this like boxing motion right now. I don't know why my hands are moving back and forth all right we got my fists up then it's like influencers started popping out people are starting to like tag products and then starting they started working with brands then i was like okay now this is a now this is the blogger world and everyone has a you know an outfit photo you know out every day people are starting to be fashion influencers and and bloggers and it's like okay and then it's like fitness people emerge and all these all

this should emerge Jacqueline has been conflicted for so long now because I've been thinking that I should be an influencer like that and I should have brands and outfit posts and all that shit like that's what I've been thinking in the back of my head I should do because you know what Jacqueline you'll look hot in those pics those boys will like that you're in the dating age you know dating ages and that's important and it would you know what I mean that's where my head's been it's like conflict I've been conflicted where now I'm like fuck this whole time I should have thrown on a headset and talked on a podcast every day because this is what I've been missing like this is the most authentic I can be online if I show up like I'm a BFF or besties are hanging out

my house you're in my little kitchen here my little studio and this feels the most me where before every I was always conflicted like I want to do that thing I want to look good on Instagram I want to be like a sexy goddess Instagram influencer girl and it's like not really me and it's kind of like a weird epiphany I had this year I think I the reason I got depression and went through it and had a a little uh intervention with my family this summer like it all it's all working out because now I feel like I'm the most like me I've ever like I feel so like in the flow with exactly who I am and so anyways I don't know if anyone else struggles with that but I've been influenced by influencers thinking I should do that and it's just not it

works for other people I just don't think it's my journey and this year I had that realization and I think that's that's all good um but damn it sucks too because I'm also I'm still like well I want to look cute for boys on Instagram still like that's still part of me it's like yeah but it's not it's not real like yeah you can post a lot of hot pics but it's like people this is how people will know me in real life so just put this out there you know i i do perform a little bit for the mic obviously a lot of the outlandish shit i say is it's slightly a performance and i gotta keep you guys engaged you know what i mean i mentioned this yesterday i gotta i say a lot of brash negative shit because all the things that are

right in the world and happy and sunshines and rainbows that's not fun to listen to so when i bitch about my neighbor slamming the door like it's fucking interesting it's not like guys i just love the way my neighbor shuts her door so gently like if i said that it's like boring so um anyways i had that realization that like yo we're all addicted to our phones everyone's following each other online now everyone's keeping up with each other that way so show up as if they just sat and crossed from you at the table you're eating breakfast together like that's the kind of persona i want to put on the internet of myself i don't want to try to like curate this influencer aesthetic stuff because it's not it just never felt like me i wish it did though

because dude i want to be a hot instagram girl still like it's still part of me like i want to still be like batty with a fucking swipe up to a fashion nova no no i would never do fashion like you know what i mean like i just want to have like fuck it you know what i mean it's just all good it's what it's it's just it's just um i think i'm about ready to wrap this god damn it i just got coffee on my sweatshirt and i just washed this I think this stain is low enough so if I wear this tomorrow you guys won't be able to see it so we're okay

I also got coffee on my mic one last check the DMs anything new rolling in I don't know requests patreon.com slash TJMS if you want to support the show

I'm going to post my high school picks today it's going to be really embarrassing so you can go over there to see those get a shout out at the end of every podcast and some of you guys get a phone call depends what tier you join but that's a thing and you can go watch me on YouTube

just go and search Jocelyn Monroe and watch me hang out with me I hope you guys have a great Wednesday going to be self-disciplined and call it right now have a great Wednesday I'm feeling better thank you for being here with me today I started out a little rocky a little rough but that caffeine hit and I just

I'm soaring like an eagle right now it's all I've again I'm mentioning I've said this before but dude I said podcasting is the closest I'll ever feel to flying like I it's a high I can't explain and is it because I can hear the sound of my own voice through my headphones the monitoring in my ears maybe I don't think podcasters talk about that here's a little side tangent I think that's what it is we're all high on our own supply of hearing our voice in our ears because you hear it a little bit and that makes me feel close to myself so yeah you know is it that a little bit maybe but I'm not used to I'm not used to hearing my soul like speaking my truths every day of the week so that's why I feel like I'm flying because this is like insane I don't need it like no drugs

ever could match what this feels like it's so I uh I want to like ask like Joe Rogan if he's thinks that about like hearing because you know when you wear the headphones it's like it does something that's why I think about um like singers pop stars artists that sing remember when i said i was gonna end this two minutes ago what the fuck just happened but like i thought about that like it must be like when they have their in-ears those little ear in-ear monitors while they're performing on stage so they can hear themselves in the band it's like it puts you in a new world like it's so weird to i don't know maybe i'm really i don't know overthinking that but it adds to the experience when you're podcasting so anyways

wow that's really um kind of embarrassing that I just admitted that I kind of like listening to my pot like the voice in my headset but it is what it is dude I'm so honest it feels great all right happy fucking Wednesday stick around if you're a patron for your patron shout out I love you guys very much. And I will talk to you tomorrow for Thick Thursday. All right, guys. Bye. Hello, my patreon.com slash TJMS patrons. Doing it again. Just shout your name out. And that's all you're going to get today for Wednesday's podcast. I'm still working on the creative thing I'm gonna do and I haven't really figured that out yet but anyways my first shout out goes to Ricky Jensen Ricky Jensen thank you for your support I really appreciate you

and I'll be calling you later my next shout out goes to Trevor Garrett that sucked Trevor Garrett thank you for your support trevor i really appreciate you and my last shout out goes to no i can't do that that's embarrassing eagle one eagle one thank you for your support i really appreciate you all right guys there's your shout out happy wednesday thank you for your support uh means a lot see you on patreon i'm gonna post my embarrassing high school pics today so you can see me wearing my stupid scarves and puffy vests and bootcut jeans all right love you guys okay bye