The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 417- Mind Your Business, Drink Water, Go To Work

Episode Date: January 31, 2026

Today we start with a lesson in restraint, proportional response, and why not every situation requires escalation. Sometimes the smartest move is handling things calmly and moving on with your day. Then we talk life updates. Home stuff I’m loving, current girly obsessions, pasta-making progress, and a road trip to Julian, CA that includes pie, a creepy bookstore, and thoughts on small-town America in the internet age. I recap my American Express PGA golf tournament weekend in the desert, why outfit planning is the best part of travel, and why TJ Maxx remains undefeated. Barrel jeans are officially on notice btw. In the news, we cover Seattle Seahawks vs. New England Patriots Super Bowl 60 excitement, why Harry Styles’ new song isn’t doing it for me, and Brooklyn Beckham airing out his family drama via Instagram Stories. We close with a serious conversation about ICE protests, including the Minneapolis fatal shootings of Alex Pretti and Renée Good, federal agent violence, leadership failures, and why two things can be true at once. Reform matters. Protests matter. But provoking poorly trained agents and acting shocked when it turns dangerous isn’t smart. Sometimes being a functioning adult means minding your business, drinking water, and going to work.REVIEW THE SHOW ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ https://open.spotify.com/show/4ijzUBunTIHgVmahB0ISEN BECOME A PATRON! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/tjms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ KEEP IN TOUCH!INSTAGRAM »⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinemonroe/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TIKTOK » jacqueline.monroe EMAIL THE SHOW!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ MY MUSIC GUY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

This is going to be really immature, but here we go. If you are an ICE agent listening or watching my podcast right now, I would like you to take a page out of my book as someone who successfully deported an illegal alien outside of this country with de-escalated, mind you, then deported, an illegal alien outside of this country without the use of legal force. All right, I always do this damn military music,

but it's really on theme for 2026. This is giving, we're running an operation and we're running a deportation. now look there's really nothing light and funny about these times but this is what I'm offering today on the podcast okay this is what I am showing up with we do not need another hash out of negativity a hash out of negativity we do not need you know what I'm saying another bitch session about I and what's going on. Okay. We need a little bit of joy in these moments and I'm bringing that,

I'm offering that to you today. Okay. So join me. It's going to be a fun episode. I have a lot locked and loaded and ready to deploy. Okay. But let's get back to the story. If you are an elite, if you are not an illegal, if you are an ICE agent, listen up. All right. About a month ago, about a month ago guys I'm just gonna I'm just gonna tell you what happened okay I and by the way I'm just a suburban housewife I successfully depl de-escalated and deported an illegal alien outside out of this country I got them out of here as and I am just a regular suburban housewife. And I did that, by the way, without the use of legal force. Also, thank you. Now, a couple things to note here. I read the situation.

I read the situation and I thought about it. I took pause before I de-escalated and deported this particular illegal alien. Okay. I took pause. I thought about the situation and I put myself in the illegal alien shoes. And I realized that this illegal alien was not trying to kill me. It was not attempting to... It did, by the way, it did provoke me. It did taunt me. Okay. It did for a 24 hour period, actually more like a two week period. Fuck my life up. You guys might know where this is going if you're a regular listener and you're probably doing a little parallel thing in your head like I'm doing. And this just popped out of nowhere two minutes before recording. And that's why I love podcasting.

It's a very, this is a creative process for me. Okay. I read the situation for what it was and I took pause. In fact, I took pause and I let this illegal alien fuck up the situation in my city a lot longer than I, if I, if I, okay, here's what I'm saying. And if you're an illegal, if you're an, excuse me, my heart goes out. If you're an illegal alien, stressed out, terrified. If you're an American citizen terrified for your life right now, like, you know what? And actually, we'll get we'll go to that later. We'll talk about if you're an American citizen later. However, if you're an ICE agent. Okay, listen up. I could have ended this illegal aliens life. This is going on way too long. I could have ended this illegal aliens life. the moment I decided that it was a threat like I could have done that but again I took pause now we're just gonna rip the cat out of the bag right now and we're gonna describe this illegal

alien okay she's very small this illegal alien she's small she's gray she's a fucking mouse okay So I deported a mouse. That's the hee hee ha ha parallel we're doing right now. Okay. I did it without the use of legal force because I took pause and I realized this mouse that has invaded my country, my home is not trying to kill me. It did fuck my sourdough starter and my sourdough up. That is one thing that it did do. And it's lucky to be lucky to be alive for that reason. It's lucky to be alive. But you guys, I talked about this before we're doing, we're just, we're jumping into the life at life update. I'm just going to move it forward right now. Move it along quickly right now. Life update. We caught the fucking mouse. There were two of them. We caught them

the two illegal alien mice in my country in my home they are caught they were humanely captured okay they were humanely captured and removed so I was running a deportation operation since we last spoke in my home we bought these really cute they're called mouse hotel mouse humane mouse traps off Amazon of course everything everything is fucking off Amazon they were so cute they're these little green plastic mouse trap shape traps but they don't kill the mouse and the reason why I decided to not buy the the lethal option getting I didn't buy the poison I didn't buy the one that literally just they're so janky the regular mouse traps where they slap on top of the mouth it's like for what like you don't it's so like it doesn't even kill

it that hard it's not enough of a i know they kill them but that's a that's a rough death those original those og mouse traps the ones the little wood bottom with the wire that's so if you still buy those you deserve to be shot by an ice age i'm not going to be funny right now okay so we bought these mouse hotel mouse cute little humane traps they're plastic green you can see through them you can see if the mouse went in they're pretty big they have enough room in there if they have to like walk around. Cause we caught, caught the mouse overnight and he was clearly, you know, he was doing laps and they were taking, just, just shitting himself, shitting herself. Is this, this was a female, female mouse, small female mouse. Um, but I realized this, this mouse

is not trying to kill me. I'm going to, and I don't like to kill anything. So why did I buy the humane trap, the humane, humane traps? And why did I, this, this mouse was crawling around our counters shitting everywhere every single night for two weeks okay because I have a heart I have a heart and I didn't and every morning I would kind of not tell Cory that I found mouse shit he would go to work and I would be in the kitchen every morning for like two weeks getting my you guys know I use rubbing alcohol now on my countertops because of Skin by Kirsten on TikTok. You know, I'd clear the turds off, wipe them in a little paper towel. You know, I get the paper towel first. They just, they're not, mouse turds are so sweet. They're not,

I'm pro mice aren't gross. Rodents aren't gross. Mice are friends. They are on our things we love list officially now. I have officially declared mice. I have a things we hate list and a things we love list we're adding a couple things today by the way to that list later in the episode mice are on things we love I fucking love rodents I love mice I think they are so sweet and so cute I'm drawn to them I yeah whatever I so the the mice the turds are cute whatever so you know you wipe it with the paper towel and then you get the rubbing alcohol and you just douse the counter and the backsplash you're like wherever they've probably I mean I don't know if they climb walls like that they probably don't but I was getting everything you

know every day Corey go to work and I just be in there like quickly cleaning it up and getting on with my day and then not telling him the mice problem is still a problem and then it hit me like this is getting it's going on too long we need to take care of this and I was I would I refused he's like let me go get the poison the traps like whatever I'm like absolutely I made him sit there and I said type in humane mouse traps and he picked it out and he was excited about his purchase he was like oh my god look at this mouse hotel it's so cute oh my god and like it showed up and we put them out we put peanut butter in the back of it you like open the back hatch and it has this little container you can put the peanut butter in and they walk on this lever

and then the lever the weight of their body shut it like shuts the door behind them and then it took us two nights to catch him but there she was excuse me she what the fuck I'm so again I started the episode out by the way by saying this is going to be really immature okay we're coping with immaturity we're coping with humor and immaturity today that is that is the vibe of the episode it's also going to be fun I'm going to do more life updates besides just us catching this deporting excuse me deporting this illegal alien outside of our country or our home but uh that's that's what's going on because we started out the first episode of the year really dark and heavy and just I'm trying 2026

everything's a choice let's make 2026 the year we choose to not be negative choose positivity I don't know what I'm saying it's easy to talk about the hot button I will later. I'm going to get pissed off later. So we're going to start out fun. I could have just said that. So yeah, we caught the mouse and so I like wake up and it was like Christmas morning. I'm like, I went in the kitchen. It was all dark. I'm like, wait, should I like do this? No, this is getting redundant. Sorry. And I saw that we caught it and I go back to the bedroom I'm like, all right, we got the mouse. Come look, come look with me. And he's like, oh my God. You know, it's like so wild. We caught the mouse. And, um, we like, I take it and it's like running

around inside the poor thing and it shit itself everywhere. Now, the thing I said earlier about, it wasn't trying to threaten me, harm me, kill me. It wasn't. So, so it was like this mice, the mouse isn't going to kill me. Why would I kill it? You know? So that was the vibe. And I did it did it the humane way I de-escalated the situation in a humane way without the use of lethal force okay and the thing it did do that almost got it got him got itself killed herself killed was initially when I saw them when we first found the mouse it was in my sourdough okay it was in my, it was like literally swimming in my dough and, um, my starter. Okay. I got all fucked up. So anyways, um, I get the, I get the, my, the mouse trap off the counter. It's shit everywhere.

And then the other mouse traps, like it tried the other, we put out four, it tried out the other traps because there was shit in the other traps, but it didn't like latch in all of those or didn't shut. So that was weird. But the one, the one that did shut, I mean, the entire bottom of that thing was, if you've ever had a rabbit hutch, this is very niche. Maybe not. If you've ever had rabbits, bunnies, whatever, and you know, they live in a hutch and the bottom of that hutch has this tray that catches their droppings and you have to clean the tray out. But before you clean the tray out, it fills up and it's disgusting. And it's just completely black of, of little pellets of little shit. That was the vibe of this mousetrap. Okay. It completely shit itself. And then I take it

outside. I take it outside to our back deck and I'm like, I'm just going to release it in the backyard. Cause like there's plants and stuff that can go and whatever. I just thought this was like a nice environment for it to go out into that motherfucker. The second I lifted the back hatch to let it out, it beelined for our AC unit next to our house and like one under it. And Corey's like, it's immediately, it's going back to the hole to get inside the house. Long story short, the hole was the, there's a stupid, for no reason, there's an, there's an outlet underneath our countertop in our, in the corner of our kitchen. And it has a space where a mouse could get through from the drywall. So we have to like foam that and cover it and steel wool it. And

you know, so I'm pretty sure that's the hole it got through. But yeah, we haven't had any issues since. And we didn't have, I'm trying to think of how I could do more parallels. um there weren't other mice putting up a fight getting involved in this deportation getting in the way of it no one was telling me to fuck off while i was doing it um no one was calling me a big boy go get some lunch big boy whatever that video you know of the renee good her poor wife that i think that was the wife that said that none of that happened it was very um, very peaceful. Okay. Um, in fact, in fact, the mice were happy on the other, in the, when we deported the mouse, I'm being immature and it's getting annoying. I'm getting,

I'm being annoying. Okay. It's like, Hey, you're not, this is a podcast for 13 year olds. That was a creative session. We just did there. We got the mind open, primed and ready to continue podcasting for god knows how long um let's make this less than three hours and with that please is that music getting annoying too see i never know please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please for the love of this country or lack thereof. Please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe.

Subscribe to my YouTube channel. I'm falling asleep. Subscribe to, I want to be on a floaty with a cocktail right now listening to this in the Mediterranean. I don't know. subscribe to my YouTube channel this is a video and audio podcast and finally please if you would love to support the show more than I would love you oh my god keep it moving patreon.com slash tjms patreon.com slash tjms it's five dollars a month it's my subscription service a way you can support the show fiscally. Wink, wink. Pack it up. Wrap it up. Okay. Patreon.com slash TJMS. Thank you very much for your support. Let's get back into it. All right. So. All right. I'm going to set the scene. We're going to start off by setting the scene. It is Wednesday, January 28th. I have

a sticky note to talk slower and to not say like, okay. It says talk slower, don't say like. Also, it says keep it moving. And that's all I'm going to tell you that's on there. I'm going to hide it so you can't see what else I wrote on there. It's top secret behind the scenes of podcasting. You cannot read it. These are my notes today. Talk slower, don't say like, and keep it moving. okay I'm gonna set the scene let's get into it so it's Wednesday January 28th it's 11 43 a.m I took a spin class this morning life update had a glass of wine last night life update I've had it's still January I broke my no cocktails in January dry January thing went to a golf tournament last weekend had my first cocktail broke that seal okay I've had probably glass

of wine last night drinks that weekend so just a few nothing crazy I thought I was gonna wake up hung over a shit because I had wine at this golf tournament and woke up hung over a shit wine makes me hung over a shit I love wine but it makes me hung over it's just and it's like well you gotta drink better quality wine higher quality wine it doesn't matter I've had the best the best shit I've had the cheapest it does the there's no it does the same thing where I just feel that wine wine hangover now I was expecting that today okay because last night I was feeling it I made a little cheese board I cooked a steak I poured a glass of wine I was listening to Candace okay just cooking before Corey came home he had the dogs yesterday and I was gonna like do this little like

hey welcome home have a glass of wine he had good news yesterday okay we also had drama to talk about which is so fun we have really good drama right now and my favorite thing about drama is not having it myself but vegging out to other people's shit you know it's not mine to have it's other people's and that is so fun and then it's like fun when you're loosely connected to it but you're not the one it affects if that makes sense okay so I was excited you know I'm making steaks and pouring a glass of wine now I was expecting to wake up today hungover and not wanting to go to spin class so I canceled my spin class this is so sad I just it's a 6 a.m spin class. We went to bed at 11. Okay. Cause we watched all six episodes of free Bert, the new

Bert Kreischer Netflix series, which was hilarious. So, so fucking funny. And also like the whole, it's just a dick joke, Siri. It's just a dick. It's just so like, come on, you know, but also funny in the way they did it was really well done where every single episode you're on the edge of your seat. You want to watch the next episode. Um, so it, it was the perfect binging binge type of show. Um, went to bed at 11. I canceled my spin class cause I was like, I just, I'm not feeling it propped up wide eyed and so energized at 5am this morning, rebooked my spin class, went to spin class. Now we're podcasting. It's 1145. Okay. Corey's got the dogs. I'm dressed in a strange outfit today okay we are we are wearing it's like a sweatshirt that's cut off

at the chest okay we're wearing a purple hat that by the way it says psycho on it it's a psycho tuna psycho tuna on it with a little tuna fish thing like a what do you call it a skeleton of a tuna if you think I'm a psych I'm claiming it today I'm saying I am being immature I am being psychotic I'm probably going to be insensitive to you you probably might think I'm being insensitive today because I'm going to say a lot of things that a lot of like okay we'll get there later we're going to be mad later or we're going to be heated later so let's have fun now let's not get into that um purple hat um that my friend bought me we were out getting lunch and we had some wine actually and like we're like let's go shopping and then we just went shopping and then we went

shopping again and then we're shopping you know and then she bought me a hat um and I said I want this for the episode episode today so I'm wearing that I've got black coffee and water and a lemon spin drift water so very high and tight over there with the beverages I had oh my god you guys do you want to know what I ate for breakfast this is the thing it's like okay we don't like do you want to know the minute details of my life? Sure. Fine. Let's do it. I don't always get into detail with every ingredient I put in my body besides the drinks I'm drinking, but I had Oikos triple zero pro. I believe there's Oikos triple zero, but there's also Oikos triple zero pro now. 23 grams of protein per serving. I had vanilla, the vanilla flavor yogurt with

what's the granola i like purely elizabeth blueberry hemp granola okay a little flax seed a little chia a little hemp seed on top blueberries cinnamon ate that okay we're fueled we're actually fueled today um i looked down at my i had it i'm having a good stomach day everyone knows that what that feels like i'm having a good stomach day and i haven't felt this good about my stomach in a while so also let's note that when we're setting the scene here okay lip gloss and lip situation is nyx lip pencil in edge pink i switched up my new this is my new color it's called edge pink the l'oreal plump ambition i'm almost out of it it's the ph balancing lip gloss and we're setting the face with wet and wild five and one essence primary finish powder um and we have new

studio lights so say a fucking prayer okay I don't know how high definition and how I feel like this is the best lighting I've had in almost six years of podcasting and I'm nervous okay because but good lighting will make you look good so I hope you know we're looking right in tight okay let's get into the episode. Let's start with the life updates. Let's, we're going to do life updates news and we're going to wrap it. Okay. Maybe some fun, like Reddit stuff that I found that I think juicy. Um, I want to gossip. You know what? You know, my love for Reddit snark and the reason I love it, cause it is toxic and it is like, get a life, get a hobby. Why are you I don't personally contribute to the, the snark. There's this, the LA influencer snark,

the NYC influencer snark. There's other, there's like sub within that there's specific people that have their own snark pages. My favorite thing is the, when regular people have opinions about influencer culture, I think it is, I love getting into the psychology of that. I love seeing it's a window into regular people's minds and you can learn a lot from that as a creator as a content creator as someone who does the influencing side of things and I don't think it's I think a lot of it is toxic and negative but it's really juicy like there's there's currently some like the biggest gossip right now is someone I'm like not burning a bridge right now because a lot of people that I love are friends with this individual and I'm not friends with them yet but like someday I

just don't want this to come back basically like people are there's a potential wedding getting called off and an engagement over and a fucking birkin bag that they're speculating is fake purchase for the breakup reddit to me is a is is like the fuck the magazines my grandparents had at their house in there I would use their bathroom because they had okay they had like a stack of magazines like Star Magazine the ones that aren't they're kind of a paper magazine with it was always like pictures of people cellulite and like Anna and Nicole like who were the people that they would always gossip about it was always like Angelina Jolie's too skinny Anna and Nicole Smith's too fat Oprah's fat again she just got it was like Christy Brinkley I don't know it was all

always about people's bodies and like divorce and gossip and drama okay but that's how red though reddit is like that for me it's my way of getting into the gossip of what's going on in the world but the influencer gossip and my grandparents yeah they had they had uh their their bathroom in their master and then they had like the guest bathroom but I'd always go to their bathroom because it was more fun and it had the fun magazines and um yeah anyways so that's what we're gonna get into today um okay we deported the mouse life update I went to spin class this morning okay um I did not I made I think I had two bingos on my bingo card at spin class this year this month um they did a new year new you get your ass on the bike get a bingo the more

classes you take the more chances for a bingo you can get and then when you get a bingo you don't get you don't get a prize when you get a bingo you get a raffle ticket to get the prize so that was a disappointment um a little bit of letdown I think they have gift bags they're giving out though my heating pad just turned off and that's a problem I think they're giving out gift bags if you even went to a single class so like I'll probably get a gift bag um but yeah I did not get a bingo um okay my pasta phase life update my pasta phase is on a hiatus I feel like that was like a two-week thing and I just haven't done it since and I'll probably make pasta tonight now that I'm saying this and and um I need to refine my skill to get better at it like

so there's that I'm trying to move this shit along because what was the yeah keep it moving don't say like and um I forgot what the other thing was we watch free bird oh we watch for this this is in the show like life update what shows am I watching what shows are big right now like what are it's always mormon wives it's always you you know you know my whole reality tv thing like i don't keep up with anything reality tv wise i don't even watch a single i don't even watch the only thing i've seen recently is the kardashians because we got a hulu subscription because i wanted to watch the kardashians and anyways that's the only reality tv this is fucking boring. Okay. We watched Ford versus Ferrari, Matt Damon, Christian Bale, and it was

excellent. I think it came out in 2019. I hadn't seen it before. I didn't know the lore of Ford versus Ferrari, but it was a great movie. I love Matt Damon. Matt Damon. okay so he was on rogan with ben affleck because they had their new movie came out rip or something rips rip um i watched did i watch all of it it wasn't memorable but like also it wasn't bad but it wasn't like a holy shit like if pirates of the caribbean came out now do you think people would I don't think people would it wouldn't clock in your brain is like wow that was a great movie and a great series like that would just kind of happen Pirates of the Caribbean would just happen and no one would be like all them all the all the

things all the movies excuse me I have in my brain of like the great the greatest movies of all time that I have in my brain happened 10 plus years ago. Everything since I'm like, I don't have a recollection of anything. And I, you guys, I get, we all know what's happened to our brains, whatever, blah, blah, blah. We don't, we don't need to talk about it, but the cycle of content and just the movies I'm trying to, I literally am trying to think of what was like a sick movie I saw within the last 10 years. It's memorable that I'm like, holy shit. I've probably talked about them on my pocket I just can't pick it out of the hat but I can pick Pirates of the Caribbean out of the hat and I could say that I don't know why that just came up Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were on

Rogan they were talking about the industry and making movies and I just really you know I like smart men I like well-spoken smart men and I think actors are really interesting to me because they obviously have and they've read so many things or they've they've been on so many sets and in so many on so many locations in different countries and around all kinds of people and they've I feel like they're super well read and they know a lot about a lot of things or a little about a lot of things maybe but I just like the conversation I thought it was really good um one of the better ones recently I don't listen to all the Rogan episodes but like that was really good and I was also like Ben Affleck's people were like oh he's

people were like thinking he was on something the whole time because he wouldn't shut the fuck up but I honestly didn't want him to shut the fuck up I was like he's also a smart dude that was unexpected because I thought he was just this angry or not angry just yeah like a he always looks pissed off and sad um but I was pleasantly surprised by Ben Affleck um the movie was it a drug thing a cartel thing it was it was a drug cartel thing yeah speaking of uh movies and shows we went to this thing with Corey's parents called the jury experience and the tickets were steep it was like 300 bucks for all of us to go and I'm like for this highway robbery, literally, like this was like watching a middle school play.

Like it was so bad. I mean, okay. So what I was expecting, I was expecting what we got, but because I was like, okay, this, there's no way this isn't going to be at least a little corny because what, what it is is you show up and you're in the audience with a phone voting they have questions they you're the jury in the audience they ask you questions you vote and then based on what the audience thinks the percentage they go off of that and then that's how the trial moves right and you end up deciding what happens at the very end like you like a jury like you you get to vote like you're on a jury and that there was there's don't there's maybe like six people up there two of the people because I was paying attention to

acting the whole time that's what happens when I go to this kind of stuff I'm like I can't just be immersed in it I'm like I'm just noticing them remembering their lines and there's there are two actors that were really good really good where you actually got lost in their character as they're doing their thing one guy was so he was like because the whole premise was this you know, you show up and then you, they play a thing and then you learn about the victim and what happened to them. It's all fake, but like basically a self-driving car hit a bicycle and the guy died. And then do you, does the guy who owns the self-driving car company, the AI company, AI car robot, whatever company, does he get locked up

because of it or how do you prosecute that and that's a that's a really that's a real question right now because the car made a judgment based on data and swerve to avoid a collision that could have killed the passengers in the car so that was the calculation it made but it didn't detect this bicycle. Basically he was found not guilty at the very end, which I thought he was guilty. I was like, here's my thing. I'm like, if you're going to be a CEO, if you're going to be in charge of a company that a self-driving car company, if anyone dies, just your go, you go to jail. You do. There has, I don't know that it's so complicated because I'm like, how do you prosecute you can't prosecute the AI, the robot, the mind of the, there isn't. So I guess they get fined.

I guess you just find those companies. But then their argument is, well, less people are going to die with self-driving cars, less people statistically, you know, people are going to die. Yes. Accidents are going to happen, but less people will something like 3000 lives a day will be saved if there were if all the cars were self-driving or something like that so it was so corny and so cheesy we couldn't eat in there and they had a concession stand I'm like go fuck I'm like literally okay so that day was a shit show because I was pumping out work trying to get all my podcast stuff done because we were leaving to the desert for this golf tournament the next day and it was like okay ramrod all my work get ready for this jury thing we had to be ready by

4 30 we had it was just like chaotic chaotic I hadn't eaten so no one had dinner it was what it was the type of it was the time of day where it's like we all just worked we had lunch no one had dinner yet and then we go to this thing during dinner time and you're sitting there like I could use a snack I'm hungry they have a concession stand I'm like okay let's get some concessions bring it in and sit down eat them while we watch our watch the the trial thing happen no it was like I cracked open Corey's mom brought us some snacks I like cracked open these peanuts and like chocolate covered cashews and shit and I like cracked it open and this what do you call them at the theater the um caretaker the theater caretaker what are they called the usher the usher

it's like you can't eat in here I'm like oh the fuck it's so it's oh we're being very serious We're acting like we're in it. We, we are in a courtroom. Oh, okay. This is very realistic. Okay. Okay. So I went out in the lobby and shoved that down. Corey and I had a little gossip sesh because we were both kind of agitated. We went back and took our seats and it was like an hour long, but that's, that's another thing we did. Okay. What else is on here? Um, I decided on our So every great cult needs a common enemy. I decided that our common enemy on the Jacqueline Monroe show, I just turned my heating pad on again because it keeps turning off.

Our common enemy on the Jacqueline Monroe show is, big reveal, people who do not landscape their front lawns at all. like people who just let their front lawns go that is my cause that is our number one enemy in this cult like that is who we hate the most out of the list of people in the world we hate the most people that do not landscape their front lawns number one offender worst person in the world that's the number that's our enemy okay I'm gonna bring this character back on the show because something I miss about my old podcasting days is I would, people watch during the show

because people would walk by. I lived in the city and I looked out my window while I was podcasting and there were regulars on the show. I had my old lady neighbor with the 23-year-old chihuahua. I had man bun neighbor. There was a whole cast of, a supporting cast, right, on the show

that I would gossip about and talk about like the latest on them. And then I had my one neighbor who would terrorize me in the laundry room. he was he had like anger management problems and he went full volume visceral guttural like to the bottom of the belly bear screaming at me in the laundry room uh and that was about a month before I think I moved and that was that was so scary but yeah so I'm bringing up we got to bring a new character we we're gonna bring up a character I discussed

god they're probably I hope my walls aren't guys am I are they ever gonna listen to my show are we gonna ever get that close where they tune in and they listen to this specific episode and hear me talk my shit I don't fucking care at this point I'm like you know what we're about I'm like I'm about to go mow your lawn I'm about to go on my own just hey you know I'm helping you out hey they're like hey what are you doing I'm hey I'm just helping out. Just, Hey, I noticed the, the grass is as tall as the, the, the arm on the chair and on your front porch. That's literally like a kitchen table chair. They set out as like their front. It's just the decor. It's, they just built this new home. Okay. And then the front yard

is going to shit and it's probably not going to change. Okay. Because their previous home that they tore down before they built was the same situation. Gutters falling off the side of the, the fucking it was and I told you guys this this is a classy fucking neighborhood okay I live in a classy place okay their vibe is like east like get out I'm talking my shit I am talking my shit if you live in San Diego you understand go east of the five lanes or people the east county vibe it's like very like ran down like come on you know and people keep their shit high and tight in my neighborhood everyone else does it you know like mows their lawn takes pride because here's the thing it's all about taking pride in what you own people people here just they take pride in

that they're they're like you know you're you're spending all this money on your fucking mortgage it's like you might as it's just there's something about that it says it's a it shows a lot about your character and like who you just the type of person you are and um it's a detail thing I'm into details and they refuse to do and they've just they moved in maybe six months ago and the fucking Christmas tree is still on the front lawn growing the the grass the weed grass it's not even grass is growing over the Christmas tree okay so number one enemy I decided so they're the character on the show we're going to gossip about trying to think if I have any other neighbors I could who else in the neighborhood could because I need to create characters for you guys

to expand the the world here a little bit because you hear about the dogs you hear about Cory like it's kind of boring we've got new house neighbors who knew what am I what are we going to call them neighbors with no fucking pride or prideless neighbors in their property okay um I'm trying to think if I have anyone else we've everyone else is amazing so it's like they're they're also by the way they're amazing they're great minus that part okay so they still haven't I'm gonna update you like when they landscape their front lawn that's that'll be the lore it'll be like okay you tune into the show do Jacqueline's neighbors fucking landscape their front lawn yet and that's why that's why you tune in okay that's that's gonna be again

we're being immature we're being okay and fun today but that's what you tune into my show that could be the whole show every the fucking entire three hours it's just me breaking down the details of what's going on next door but yeah these front oh my god it's like okay most people and it's not like they're on a budget I mean they probably are okay everyone's on a budget but like they can afford I mean they just fucking built this new house it's like you can fucking afford a normal front porch chair okay but they chose these because it matches the door the doors of teal blue a cute little teal blue and their house is seafoam green okay I'm glad their house isn't white because it would stand out so much and it would be jarring like I'm actually happy it's not

because I hoped it was white and I was like wait a minute now that I think about it the seafoam green kind of blends in to the background you kind of like don't doesn't catch your eyes intensely the the front door is a nice teal and the trim is like a teal blue so seafoam this is another this is taste it's like the lack of taste right the lack of okay not everyone is me and that is okay everyone has their own other people's joy I can celebrate that maybe that makes them joyful the blue the blue chairs match the blue front door you know what I mean so yeah these are like regular ass kitchen table chairs that happen to be the same color as a front door and that's what they chose instead of like going down to home depot just

getting normal front porch like maybe maybe something that rocks maybe something with a cushion they have no cushions it's like a waiting room like you you go drive by the front the front door and it's like waiting room chairs lined up okay so that's the vibe common enemy common enemy number one okay I wrote down home stuff slash girly obsessions without anything listed so let me think okay it's new year say me we're not really doing anything different we're not I haven't mentioned I'll do it for 0.2 seconds haven't mentioned the GLP-1 thing once because I'm not on it anymore and it doesn't it's on a thing in 2026 but what are like some new year new me things I'm doing besides not drinking alcohol, which is lovely by the way. Like who

knew? Um, it's all about space. The more gaps you have in between your, like the longer the gap in between your drinking, the better, obviously. But like, that's what this month has taught me because when I had my first drink and it was, cause I started before January 1st cause I was sick. So it's been about 30 days. So when I had my first drink and in the desert, when we were at the golf thing it didn't I was just kind of like meh like I wasn't like I need a cocktail it wasn't even but I feel like when you drink all the time which I was doing um you kind of are like I want to drink I want to drink you kind of like itch for it like it's a literal like a thing you know so um which is kind of sad I got to that place honestly and that's just me being honest I

think I've talked about my drinking I haven't talked about I have alluded to some like dark stories with my drinking nothing nothing this is like me being vulnerable and like let's get real like this is what you tuned into a podcast for but like I've had there's one story I'm probably never gonna tell but I'm surprised that I didn't see that as like a major wake up let's just say that like and for me and I've talked about this I've talked about dry January and drinking this whole month but my thing isn't I have a it's not like a problem like I can't go a day without drinking or can't it's not like it's it's that when I'm at a social event and I'm drinking I just get excited and then I over drink and I'm keeping up with like oh who wants another one

you know and I just get one and I can't handle hard alcohol like other people I'm just me I've always been a major lightweight with it but that's what happens when I'm at a function and then I'm like way too it deletes my brain cells and then I don't have any memory and it's scary okay and one thing awful happened that I will not talk about I don't know if I'll nothing like when I think about it it was bad like it was really I've actually blocked it out of my brain I get really mortified when I think about it. Um, but nothing, nothing. Um, so it could have ended really horribly. Let's just say that. And I'll move on. Cause I don't like thinking about it, but yeah, drinking, what am I? Oh, new things I'm doing in January. Um, man, I'm just spraying

hypochlorous acid on everything I'm still doing. I'm just cleaning the house and I'm just enjoying it. I'm leaning in, you know, I'm leaning into last night. I took all of the couch cushion covers off and I cleaned the couch and I cleaned the couch. I deep clean the couch. And my new thing, I guess is one deep cleaning thing a day. So like, cause we have, if we didn't have dogs, my house would be pristine. But when we have two dogs and I feel like I need to turn the air conditioning on now. Holy shit. It just got really hot. Maybe it's cause I have a heating pad on oh no this is now and i have flannel i have flannel um pants on from my they're my christmas flannel pants that cory's mom got me for christmas because we always were matching pjs

and i'm wearing those on the on the bottom half of you can't see them but this is now getting i'm getting too hot um totally lost what i my train of thought i was talking about oh new things in January. Oh, leaning in, clean the house. So I just took my socks off. So yeah, I'm like picking something every day. Like it's so easy when you think about it. Cause I, I look at, if you think about how much time it takes, it's, it's like two minutes. Like for two minutes yesterday, I went around the house and I cleaned every single mirror. Like I took my Windex and I went around every single room and did all the mirrors. And that was it. That was like my, okay. Yesterday that was the thing. Oh, I also deep clean the couch. Okay. I decided to do a

little more, but that's something new I'm doing. I'm just deciding on like, okay, every day kind of look around and see what needs some extra muscle. And then I do, it's like a five minute thing. Cause, cause it's so much easier to do that than do the entire house and deep clean every inch on one day. Um, and by the way, we fired our housekeeper or we're going to fire our housekeeper. that's what honest to god it's like i think something might be wrong because i'm like how do you miss five times in a row like it's i'm staring at the grout and the shower i'm pointing and i'm like clean it i this sounds so i hate how it sounds like this sounds so like fucking um we're paying we're i'm they're well paid okay they're she's really sweet honestly she's i don't

maybe we'll try her one more time but it's it's like i had to clean the shower together i'm in there cleaning the grout i shouldn't that's the whole point that's why we have you come because it's like we want extra elbow grease to help deep clean when it just saves so much time and it's it's a nice it's a nice thing to have to have a housekeeper come by um we used to have it once a week then we moved to twice a week now we have it maybe once every other month because I clean so I clean so much now like I'm the one doing it because actually it's like a I'm on a good routine with it um but why am I talking about cleaning the house on my podcast like are you into this right now are you like are you enjoying this me just being the fucking

it's like I don't want to make parallels that make me sound like a white national what the fuck what is it what even is like you can't say anything without sounding like me talking to my house pointing at grout and like clean it is so like what is a white nationalist is that just someone who wants everything is that like how do I not know what that is off the top of my head it's a political and ideological movement that advocates for national identity defined by white ethnicity this is horrible and I'm going to I'm just gonna yeah because she's not white and I am it's the you know pointing to the grout clean it scrub it you know like and then you come and then you know

I go and I come back to the clean house and I go in the bathroom. It's the first thing I just make sure is done for the fifth time. Cause I'm like very adamant about like cleaning the grout. And it was like, it wasn't touched. And that's the part. And she starts in the bathroom. She started, I'm, I am turning into a fucking prima. What is this vibe? It's very like, I don't sound very gracious right now. And I sound really stuck up and I don't like that. This is not, you know, and I was okay now. Ooh, fuck. It's like, you never know who's going to listen. Okay. I'm around a crowd of, I'm going to be vague. I'm going to be so vague. So like this can't, this would never be, this is juicy, but like this will never be, who knows? I never

know who's listening. But I am around a crowd. Usually it's like women who are a lot older than me, but like not a lot, a lot, but like 10 plus years. And I'm getting a call from my hometown. That is so random. That's really random. Oh my God. My heart just sank. because like you know when bad things happen the police call you right oh fuck me fuck what's that phone number now I have anxiety oh my god they're calling again oh my god do I have to answer this right now on the podcast I you guys I'm in fight or flight right now I'm in it's like hey Jacqueline just end the show and call them back. Let me just look up that number because I think it might be from like an old

dentist. They call again. Hold on. Then it's an emergency. Hold on. I'm from the 360 if you guys want to know where my OG zip code is. Oh, fuck. It's a police department. Okay. We're stopping the podcast and I'm going to call them. Okay. I'm back. Wow. My adrenaline is so high right now. Holy shit. Like that. I mean, I literally feel like in my body, like someone in my family, like something bad happened nothing happened it was definitely a missed they got the wrong phone number type of thing I still have a phone number from that zip code so like I'm sure or that yeah from that area um what do you call it when what's like the first three numbers of a phone number area code area

code so the officer left me a voicemail asking for a person that's not me I think they got a missed, they messed up the phone number. They got the wrong number. So I called him back. He didn't answer. I left a voicemail and I was so nervous. Like, I'm like, like, is this, am I being set up? Like, it's like something else going, like, you know what I mean? I'm like, is there something more to this? I think they just got the wrong number. Um, but it was, yeah, about something that someone called about and he was calling them back or whatever. Moving on. Um, that was, I'm like whoa my body is like but hey if you get a missed number like that and it's a police department like don't ignore like because they call you I'm pretty sure that's how you find out

horrible news hey are you the daughter of really I don't know how they tell you over the phone I'm pretty sure that that does happen right like they call you if something tragic happened you would be or they knock on your door which is awful I just don't ever I don't want to think but that's the state I was just in. Okay. That is naughty. This let's take a moment right now. Okay. DaBaby's coming out with a new album and I think we're going to reference this right now as I do a, um, oh yeah, there it is. There's the title. We're going to take a little moment of pause. His title, the title of his album is called Be More Grateful. It was released on January 16th. Okay. Let's take a moment and be grateful for our healthy families, our family members who are still with us, our lives, our blessings that we have.

I'm great I'm grateful for you listening I'm grateful that we have this community I'm grateful for the ability to do this the freedom to do this I'm gonna start writing in a gratitude journal I was thinking about something today because I'm always plugged in right like I'm always plugged in I'm always listening to a podcast I'm always listening to music it's like always plugged in the only time I'm not plugged in is when I'm actually working in the zone listening to jazz music doing my thing okay on my computer that's the only time I'm not plugged in but even when I but see it's like I'm still listening to jazz music or if I'm writing in my planner or if I'm reading a book at night which is not happening as

often as I wanted to other than that always plugged in and I was literally eating my yogurt this morning, my yogurt bowl. I'm not a yogurt bowl person, by the way. I just know that expiration date. And I'm like, got to pick it up. We got to like get this yogurt eaten. Okay. Yeah. Groceries are expensive. Like let's fucking use this up. I'm trying to be strategic about what gets eaten when, because it's like, I'm not throwing food away. My ground beef is $10. I mean, we're spending so much on i mean i'm sure you are too it's like bro relax how can they make the beef cheaper let's do a thought exercise right now how can they make the ground beef cheaper what kind of okay people have to get paid less to butcher the cow

you can't pay the workers as much some sort of thing with it is there or is there like a tariff situation they can and they can lift there's the beef coming what makes the beef expensive the transportation cost of gas the fee oh the food itself they're the cow's groceries are expensive the food is the the farmer charging the price of the everything's connected dude you're so lucky that I don't people that like get stoned and sit on podcasts and I'm you're so lucky you don't get that from me because

it would get weird I mean I'm so weird I'm so different and strange and unique and quirky like when I get high so like I'm just saying like it'd be too much it would be too much okay be too much everything's connected the farmer has to charge more for the crops because they have to pay the workers more because their prices of everything is the cows have to eat and then and they have to fatten them up, and then you've got to get them on that conveyor belt, and those workers that do the bullet in their brain on the conveyor belt, they have to get paid,

and then everything's, but then the transportation. So, yeah, we were saying be more grateful. How did I get on cows? How did I get on beef? Oh, I'm eating my yogurt bowl, and this thought, you guys know me about journaling, or you know my thoughts on, morning pages journaling writing your thoughts out okay it just was never for me

like I would do it the best thing for me is talking out loud to myself alone okay that's why you have a podcast that's why okay but I do this once a week but I was literally for the first time in five and however many years it's been I'm sitting eating my yogurt watching TikToks about murder what else is I watching what's my algorithm right now it's like oh I am on whales on the whale thing okay it's like whales a little 9-11 color analysis and murder okay that's my algorithm the occasional cooking video but I'm sitting there watching death and I'm like I should

I should be instead of just eating my yogurt in silence staring at my maidenhair fern and my candle in front of me on my kitchen table I should be yeah instead of being fully present eating my because like that's what they teach you in like that's the that's the okay think about this holy shit we're supposed to just sit and eat our food like usually I'm with Corey if we're having dinner I'm with someone like I think sharing a meal you're supposed to be sharing a meal right but if you're not sharing a meal it's like lunchtime you're by yourself whatever you work from home you're in your kitchen you're having a little whatever having a yogurt bowl like I was

you're having a little toast. I don't know what you eat. Um, like in theory, like we used to just sit there and eat it, but I have to sit, set up my little fucking, I literally put my phone up on my candle. And if I'm, this is how sad it is. Okay. This is how sad it is. Maybe it's not sad. Maybe it's like, you're just evolving how humans are going to evolve and you're just on the ride. and this is what's natural and this is it doesn't feel natural because it's never been but this is actually what you're supposed to do you're supposed to be dialed into a fucking podcast conversation while you're making your yogurt bowl okay and you were dialed into that podcast while you were also doing your morning sweep of the house and like getting

every i do a morning routine of like making out the the blinds are up the cory makes the bed he like does a couple other other things every morning i do the other shit it's like a little tidy up. And, um, what's that thing about like never pick up your man's underwear socks on the floor, like leave it, get you a man that does it himself and like, doesn't ever leave it on the ground. Like he actually puts it in the fucking laundry anyways. Um, but I'm dialed into the conversation, the podcast, like I'm doing like, it's a not, it's in the shower. It's in the shower it's it's when I'm clean okay then I'm making my yogurt yogurt bowl still dialed into this conversation and then for some reason and mind you this is a video podcast instead of just

setting my phone up to continue that conversation and and listen to the like while I'm eating my yogurt bowl I'm like you know what I'm gonna do a physical activity right now I'm gonna double time. I'm going to, I'm going to multitask a physical activity right now. Not only am I going to eat my yogurt with my right hand and spoon that shit in my mouth, I'm going to stop just listening to this podcast conversation. I'm going to stop that. Even though I'm like fully immersed, fully in it, I'm not going to sit in silence and stare at my maiden hair for an, I'm not going to sit and be fully present while I'm eating this yogurt bowl, I'm going to take my left hand up against my phone on my candle, propped up in front of my yogurt bowl, and I'm going to scroll

TikToks. And hopefully I get a long form one so that I can just sit there and get a few bites. And so I don't have to scroll so fast. I'm just a modern bitch okay I'm just a modern bitch and I never thought like this is not is this you know what I I reflected on this before I'm like is this the kind of woman I want to be or am I or am I the type of woman who has a gratitude journal next to her yogurt bowl and she has her her planner I already write my planner in my office I don't do it by I don't do it in the kitchen maybe she has morning pages maybe she's like I'm gonna write thoughts out like like fucking and like I'm just gonna sit and stare at me like

be present sit and watch the people walk by like watch the birds like that's the kind of woman that's the, that's the, what do you call it? That's the, um, the ID, the ID ideology. That's the ideal. And then I land somewhere down here in the, in the shitter, in the, in the garbage hole of, of, uh, of, uh, social media addiction. And I, I fall back on that every time. And I scroll TikToks, but I learn, but I grow, but I expand, but I come up with a new idea. I, you yes it's non-stop entertainment that's what being a human being human being is in 2026 it's not just non-stop entertainment doesn't matter where it comes from doesn't matter if someone got shot in the street it's fucking entertainment and you're glued to it until the next thing until

the next thing and then you forget people you know back on September 10th you know Charlie Kirk got shot in the neck and like that also that happened but like we're so moved on already peace not ever I'm not moved on I'm still on the case with Candace like we're still following it and there's some crazy audio coming out she I haven't been listening to her podcast but I listened to the one about um I think it was yesterday about Turning Point USA's meeting after the memorial that was the one where she came out I think in the glitter and like you know the whole thing I think that was a funeral one the memorial funeral thing with the pyrotechnics but then like two weeks after that they had a meeting and candace was playing audio of that

meeting the turning point usa meeting now she's the new ceo whatever and it is so unsettling like it was so i mean go listen i mean i'm not like like i said i'm not glued to her show every day like she posts so much, but like, that was very like, wow. Um, the, like the positive upbeat nature of that meeting two weeks after. And meanwhile, Candace is in Wyoming grieving, like can't even say his name out loud. And she's just like, not to be morbid, but my husband got shot. Like she, uh, Erica in the, in the meeting was so, you know, it's like everyone grieves differently, but like that, that was strange, especially because it was so soon after um there was no lump in the throat there was nothing it was just

these are the numbers we did these are how many new people have signed up for amfest these are how many hats we've sold she's like being the ceo of a corporation being like we're making money charlie would want us to get back to work like he's in heaven this is a blessing we're making that cash like it was so that and like if you need and then she's like if you need more time to grieve we have resources and we have therapy dogs I she's like I wish I had a therapy dog I wish I oh you guys are like whatever she said and I'm like so in their minds they're sitting there working for Turning Point USA Eric is not Eric has shown up to work she's fucking putting in the work she's like nothing happened she doesn't she's not taking time off to grieve

so god forbid you fucking do that god forbid you tap into that therapy dog resource and and cuddle up with an animal and and take your paid time she's like talk to your directors and use your paid time it was so corporate and so that out of this entire investigation of or investigative journalism candace has done that to me because she just posted this and it's been since september 10th mind you like it's been a while that she's been talking about it that specific audio from that meeting was like dude it doesn't prove anything it's just that the way she was talking about Charlie and just the the lightness of it all very odd so anyways where are we at um oh we were we got the weird phone call they haven't called me back I think you got my

my voice voice note I was talking about home stuff and girly obsessions home stuff I said okay I'm deep cleaning girly obsessions man what am I doing honestly I've been kind of slacking on my skincare like oh you guys like why am I talking about this um like it's not that like if you miss your skincare routine it's not that deep like it's not that deep going to bed with a little mascara on and a bare face because all you put on that day was spf like going to bed in that state is not gonna ruin your skin like it's not ideal of course there's always the ideal right and then you fall somewhere okay but I've been kind of doing that more often and um which is weird because it's not like I'm a drunken sailor at

night anymore. Just like drunkenly falling asleep. It's like, cause that's why you leave your makeup on. There's no reason for me to like, I could, but whatever. Okay. We went to Julian, California. I wrote this down. We were going to go fishing. So Julian, California is out East in the mountains-ish or like in the prairie. I'm not sure quite where, but it's an hour 40 from where we live. It's like kind of out there outside of San Diego under a couple hours. And it's a little mountain town and they're famous for this pie company, the Julian Pie Company. And okay, so I'm going to cover this. Wait, oh my God. Okay. Then we're going to cover the American Express Golf Tournament. We have a new thing to add to the things we hate list. Then we're

gonna get into news I wish I have more I had more coffee but we don't um let me just okay so they're famous for this pie and we go there probably once a year or yeah it's like a once a year thing you do a little road trip we were gonna go fishing but then we didn't we didn't bring the fishing stuff so we just went to sightsee and just people watch and have lunch it was a really it was the perfect wake up on a Saturday go to the gym do our little morning routine get a protein shake go home change and then like late morning you're driving to Julian it's a beautiful little road trip we took the little the scenic way it's very it was very windy okay and you grab lunch you get

some pie and you get the fuck out of there. Cause there's really nothing else to do. Okay. We went to a bookstore. We did do that. Um, speaking of this bookstore. Okay. So we got, we got lunch at the miners diner or something. And this diner, I love nothing more in my life than trains suspended high up like like small trains you'll see where I'm going with this there is so nothing brings me more joy than being in a restaurant because there's only two this is the second time I've ever seen this in my life small trains on train tracks suspended up above in the restaurant going around the perimeter while you're eating there that I grew up going to this place in Mount Vernon Washington called Chuck Wagon and it was a little burger joint

and they had this train that would go from room to room up above and when you're a kid and you see that it's the most whimsical magical thing and it's so cool like there's a track and it goes around and makes noise and it's like so sweet and this this miner's diner when we went to Julie and had that and this was a very like Corey and I had a really creative uh we had a creative flow that trip sometimes we get in creative flow where we're just like think of an invention an invention now and tell me what your invention is and we would just ping pong that I'll tell you some of the inventions we came up with but I was thinking about it and I'm like I want like when we build a custom home someday from the ground up like I want to put a fucking

little train going around the house like that at least in like the common area I don't know like when you have people over it's like and then a moat oh my god I'd love a moat a little mini moat that goes around and then in the moat or like a creek like a like a little like a yeah it's like a creek but then you'd have fish in it but and then the fish would have a lot of because it would be flowing and then you'd have like maybe somewhere that pools up so they can take a break from swimming really hard against the current and then you would have yeah like a little mini moat oh my god that'd be so like in the house like you're walking to the bathroom and they're just there's like a little rushing creek next to

you and there's little fishies in it it's kind of like when you go to resorts and they have water going around everywhere like when you go to Hawaii I feel like they have this in Hawaii and there's like what are they called carp the asian fish the asian goldfish there's a name for them it's uh you know what i'm talking about the orange and white and they're big big goldfish i think if you leave a goldfish in a pond that long it'll for 100 years or something they'll be they'll become a salmon sized fish goldfish so we were just brainstorming i'm eating a i've been really into tri-tip sandwiches, kind of like a Philly cheesesteak vibe sandwiches. Like if I'm at a joint and there's that on the menu, I'm getting it like a beef sandwich with cheese. Okay. So

I've eaten that. I got, did I get tater tots? I've also been ordering tater tots over fries recently. Um, we were eating that. We got, Oh, I made them get the, we got the mini corn dogs. Corey didn't know you can order the kid's menu. I was like, yeah, you don't have to be a kid to so I saw the mini corn mini corn dogs and I was like that'll be our appetizer okay and then we'll get the main um so we're eating that the train's going around and then I'll tell you about the bookstore fucking bookstore okay then trying to think I was that that that's the first day I got sick you guys I've been sick again so I got sick over Christmas I was sick again this was just like a stupid cold but that day I woke up like the whole road trip it felt like I had water up you

know when you're in a pool and you get water up your nose you do a little back flip in the underwater or something when you're a kid and you get the water up your nose that's how that's the sensation I had in my head the whole day it was really throwing me off um but anyways we had the we had the miner's diner we saw the train we ate the sandwich we uh went to a couple tchotchke shops we were there and we got some drama it was fun like we were like oh we got some like fun drama news um that was like cool and it was like oh my god I love like that's the best thing about marriage is like we have the best thing about marriage is having gossip like like that connects like as you know more like I don't know as you we're just world building like we're just

like there's so many we have like regular people in our lives and then there's like people around those people and then there's people around there's like a web everyone has this but when you're married it's like there's something different about it and just the gossiping is better like it's just well it's like you don't have to be married to gossip but like there's something about our gossip that's so like we get so um giddy about it because it doesn't affect us So we're just like, holy shit, you know? And it's like, oh my God. So then we get the pie, okay?

Then I make him stand in line to get this pie because that's why we came. We drove the two hours. It's like, you got to get the pie. And I got rhubarb, strawberry rhubarb. And then, which is the best. I mean, strawberry rhubarb pie, I was raised on that. If I asked you to describe rhubarb, could you do it? Do you know what I mean?

Like, I feel, speaking of being grateful and practicing gratitude in 2026 and not choosing negativity. I am grateful I know what rhubarb is and that I grew up, I believe my neighbors next door had a garden with rhubarb and it was kind of like on the side of their front lawn. And I remember their mom would cut it for pie. And I specifically remember what it looked like. And it's like tubular. How do I describe it? It's almost like a leak. It's not like a leak. Let me like just reference a picture. Cause you know, I'm lying to you and I can't actually describe it. It's like, um, kind of like a leak vibe. Yeah. I was, I was onto something there. It's like, um, there's a stem and the stem is what you make the strawberry rhubarb pie out of

the red stem so yeah I'm grateful that I know what rhubarb is okay so I got that Corey was gonna get the pecan pie and I'm like dude go outside of the box a little bit please get a fruit pie okay that's what they're famous for it's like don't like the pecan you the only by the way Corey the only pie you eat all year is pecan pie at Thanksgiving like that's the only you don't eat pie other than that so I'm like please get what what did he end up going with he got I got strawberry rhubarb with vanilla ice cream incredible and the pie is warm the best with the traditional crust I think he got a crumble top but I think he got what the like a marion bear he didn't get a did he get a fruit one

maybe he got like apple i forget what he got but he got whipped cream on top anyways we ate that then we went to this bookstore okay first of all when you go out there and this is the thing when you road trip everyone knows what it's like to drive by a small town on a road trip and think who the fuck like who would who lives here and why like for real like you feel in your brain this is what my brain does like I understand okay if you're born and raised in a place and that's all you know like I understand that but there are some small towns where you drive through them and you realize people live there and you're like

this is self-abuse these people want they they want to struggle they want to live out in the middle of nothing with nothing to do and they want to be they're choosing and they want to do meth in their trailer that's probably what it is they're choosing because like what else do you do out there besides fishing and meth and maybe like mountain biking I don't know so it's like one of those places where I'm like you feel like you're back into I'm gonna go to the bookstore through this we're gonna get there from

what I'm saying now okay you also feel like you're stuck in a different timeline like this is okay I'm in a lot of these towns it's like you know they were popping in the the 60s or something it had its they they had their heyday things were hooting and hollering back in the day and like things were popping off and this was like a lively place and now there's a everything's gone to shit kind of and everything's really crusty and dusty and old and ran down and things aren't as nice as they used to be but people still live there and they still have a life there um so you really feel like you're stuck back in time and and then the self-abuse part is is like okay and then you live in that town in present day with an iPhone 17 max or are we on

the 17 maybe you're back I still have the iPhone 14 I need it I get it I need to get a new phone you guys my the back of my phone looks like a mosaic okay it's fully cracked I did I tell that story about how it broke. I think I did. So you're sitting, you're sitting there with access to the, the, the Emerald city, you know, the other parts of the world where it's not what shit to do. And it's like, is this an, is this a, it's an affordable place. We have to acknowledge that it's sentimental because that's where you're maybe originally from. That's all, you know, that's where like, I don't even think there's like no schools. Like I'm like, where do people go to school where do they go like when you need groceries that's a day you know what I

mean like that's got to be and that's why I feel like if they're gonna drone in any groceries anywhere they need to go to small town America because that would be so convenient if you're in the middle of like there's nothing for hundreds of miles both ways like plop those groceries down for people from a drone because that's an entire day like because you know what I mean you've thought maybe you've calculated this in your brain but I'm like then you're on your phone and you're like looking at tits and ass on Instagram and you're you're seeing like the big city and you're like I don't know maybe you watch reality tv and you see other parts and it's like you don't feel like you're in a cage in your small town you don't feel how do you not feel constricted by it and

and but everyone's everyone's so everyone's different and that's the thing I because for me, I'm heavily affected by my environment so much so that I literally told Corey and I I'm being morbid right now. Um, there was a house that we toured in a location that he wasn't like super big. We weren't big on it, but we were, he was, he was selling the dream pretending, you know, we'll do this and that we'll do that. I'm like, I will shoot myself within a month if I live. Like it was, okay. Sorry. I told him I will not make it out alive. Add kids to the mix. They don't have a mom. Like I will be, I will be, I will go crazy. I will be depressed. Basically, I would be very depressed if we lived in this location because, because I'm heavily affected

by my environment, I felt suffocated by it because you have no way to look out anywhere. Like there's, you're underneath stuff. Like you're not, you're in like a pit. There's like terrain all around you. There's no vantage point. There's no like, okay, I can see the sky. Like you can see the sky, but like you can't see what's over that hill or like anything else. And you feel like you're suffocated and there's no, you can't look out. Now, mind you, I'd be in my house 90% of the time on my fucking phone, staring into the abyss, not like outside of the house being affected by that geographic location. Okay. But the vibes are so off. And I, and I, it was like houses were above you almost like houses up on the Hill were higher than you. And you're down

in this pit and um this this street has a funny name we always drive well every now and then we like drive down it and we uh we laugh we can laugh now because on that same day we found our house now and it was like this is what I'm fucking talking about like this is like I feel good here it's positive it's open it's I can see out I can see the sunrise I can see the sun everything is in view. I've got, it's a happy feeling. So, but anyways, this, this small town, the bookstore, Jesus Christ. We did not keep it moving. We over, we went too long on that story. okay the bookstore it's in julian california it's the bookstore and i'm like i love a bookstore maybe i'll find a

cool coffee table book or cool something you know like a really i don't know we walk in and it's like a house converted into a bookstore we walk in like you walk the front porch is like a house like a normal front porch on a house okay you guys get it and then there's like a front yard and there's a little table there people are like sitting at the table reading a book or they're probably like so excited to get their book and read it immediately and you walk in and there's a there's a serial killer old man this guy at the front front desk kind of like off like you walk in it's like the living room of the house and then there's like you look off to the right and there's like a desk of some sort

where he checks books out he's like he's probably lived there forever this old man and it was terrifying and I think it's because I don't get a good look at him but like the vibe was just jarring it was like I'm in a haunted house immediately he's probably the sweetest man like such a nice guy. Like I'm saying this, but you felt like you went, you're in like a different timeline and you're not hunting a house at the same time out in the middle, out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, Julian, California. And then, which is really not, I mean, it's not that far. It's not like we, I guess there's stuff around it. Um, but man, the entire drive, Corey and I are just like, Corey and I are just like, we're so blessed. We're so grateful. We're so thankful.

because if you live in San Diego why live in San Diego if you don't like live I mean this is the idea right like you're close to what's the the best part of San Diego which is the beach you know you've got like the ocean the beach the water you know that that's the idea right like you're within a short drive to that at least and then it's like we're driving out there and we're like oh this is like you could you could have this type of geographic location I know you're within maybe like 40 minutes into the to the beach or whatever from being more inland but I was like you could literally have this anywhere in the country like you could live in this kind of kind of out in the middle of nowhere I'm very affected by that that's something that I think even where I grew up it's

like there was always a river at least there's a river right there there's a there's a sunset a sunrise and a river and an ocean and it was within like a drivable quick drive distance and that like feels good it's very um it's almost like feng shui like where you live and and lay your head every night is there's like a feeling about that and that's kind of that's I'm very like yeah so we were just so like oh my god we're so grateful we don't um but anyways this bookstore and then all the books let's get to the books it was like I swear it was like there was something called n is for noose like it was like fucking kkk I don't I don't know what I was looking at all these books were so old-timey like the smell of the place it was kind of a vibe because

all of the books were like old mystery novel like old books none of the books in there none of the dates were past like 1986 the copyrights there wasn't a there wasn't a modern day book in there anywhere it was just so old-timey and then there was like old chicken noodle for the soup or chicken noodle full chicken soup for the soul books I used to read found some of those and um just like a lot of old books and it was the type of thing where you walk around and it was like it was like okay there's nothing here for us like we could we could get a little creative and we could we could look around and probably pick something up that, you know, is older, but still maybe interesting to us did nothing hit. It was just like, okay, this is how is this, you know, people buy books there.

He's in business. It's fine. It's a really touristy town. Um, I feel like I'm being really nasty and like, not like I shouldn't have to calculate. Like I should censor my, I shouldn't censor myself because that that makes this not fun so I'm just gonna be myself that's all I ever can do here okay so the bookstore and then we drove back home I think that was the day and then we drove back home and then was it like the national championship that night I don't know we watched Fernando do his thing uh protect that man at all costs Fernando Mendoza what a I mean his his life is it's like a beautiful story his his mom um he's like I would trade all of this for a healthy mom I mean it is the sweetest saddest

his story is tear jerky I mean it's you know um and I think his dad like his mom's in a wheelchair because I believe it's MS right that she has which is really tough like really sad but I think the dad sits down the whole game with her because she's in a wheelchair I think that is like the most beautiful thing ever um but go Hoosiers I guess I don't know like this is now old news like talking about the national championship um also I'll whisper go Seahawks go Seahawks There was a season where whenever I didn't watch a game, they would win. And then when I did watch the game, they would lose. And this year I've pretty much watched all of them.

They've stayed winning. I just wish Charbonnet could play. I'm pissed. I'm like, I just like watching him play. Like he can't play in the Superbowl. It's like, fuck, you know, it's like, we're down. We're down a really good running back. like a really the thing about Seattle's running backs is we're in our running back era like we

were back in the heyday of fucking Marshawn Lynch and shit where we've always had good running backs I feel like that's our thing but right now our running backs like the thing about watching football and this is now a sports podcast this is a boy podcast if you're a girl listening right now skip ahead to like two minutes I'm just one of the boys I'm not like other girls. Pick me, choose me, love me. I love sports. I prefer watching football on TV more than reality TV, like more than reality shows. I watch the post game shit. I listen to podcasts about sports. I love sports. Give me any sport. I love it. I watch everything. I am a boy. Okay. So now that you know, but the thing about watching a football team and being a fan of a

football team is that it's all about, as a spectator, feeling confident in the player that they're not going to fuck up. Okay. And the more players you feel confident in that they're not going to fuck up the better. And usually those teams win the Superbowl. Okay. I eat the chiefs, right? Like they are, every person is dialed in. You feel confident about every single one of them now, offense, defense on the Seattle Seahawks. I am confident through and through there. Isn't a single player where I watch them play and I'm like oh shit oh shit and the thing is about the Seahawks is that the Geno Smith era I mean I believe he was the number one he had the most interceptions in the league in the league was this like two years ago now Sam Darnold is this

our first year with him wait a minute holy shit when why does it feel like it's our first year with him I think it's our when did Sam Darnold join the Seahawks guys I'm having a brain fart 2025 yeah he was with the Vikings and then he was with the Seahawks so yeah it would be this 2025 because Geno Smith was last season oh my god you guys might sometimes like years do you know what I mean sorry sorry that just that was a dumb ditzy dumb dumb ditzy blonde moment podcast vibe but what are gears I'm getting them scrambled when did Sam Darnold join the Seahawks okay when

Geno Smith was the Seahawks was the Seahawks quarterback back to my thought on being confident a hundred percent of the time he had the ball in his hands i'm like oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck like he didn't make me feel confident his way of being like it just he wasn't it just wasn't a good fit okay um sam darnold i watched him play when i went to wsu i remember seeing him on the field as the quarterback as the quarterback for usc and and i was thinking that is that is my that is I know I'm rooting for WSU, but that is my, that is my ginger Jesus King right there. I said, that is my future Seahawks or that is my future quarterback of the Seahawks Superbowl champion. I saw vision. I saw Sam Darnold out there on the, on the, the field in college. And I, and I thought,

you know, not only do you look like syndrome from the Incredibles, you literally look like the superhero villain syndrome i believe is the name of him in the incredibles movie if you literally and i thought this at the game and now there are memes about it i was in college like because i'm not i'm so like ahead of the curve okay i'm looking at his face i don't know if it was on the jumbotron or whatever and i'm looking i'm like that he has the face it's like when a cartoon character looks like a person that is who he looks like and i just remember like making fun of him at the time because i was not rooting for um usc obviously um go cougs and i think they beat us i forget um but now look at the full circle thing and now he's our now he's

our quarterback and i'm confident in him he protects the ball he's quick on his feet he fires it off fast like he's got a cannon on him okay he is my ginger jesus king okay and he is and I like how like humble he is and just normal he's very normal um and I need my quarterbacks be boring okay I wish my golf players or I wish my golfers were more exciting and I want my quarterbacks I'm this is like I don't know we're gonna tie in the American Express golf tournament soon here so this will stay a sports podcast for a little longer if you're like I'm not finding my people in the girl world like I want to like girls who are listening right now if you are a woman and you are invested in this conversation right now and if you like if this

stimulates you and you're not like I don't care about sports like tune out or like skip ahead who are you send me a message because like I just this is who I am and I'm not sure I'm never like I'm I the older I get like the more I don't give a shit like I'm not gonna downplay my love of sports and following there's a lot of like creators content creator chicks who are like talking about football all the time and talking about sports but um and let's be honest I'm invested because we're doing it this season every other season I'm not like I'm usually not this into it but um what was I saying Sam Darnold oh I like how with with with golf they're all squares they're all boring they have no like there's the lack of they have no vibe like golfers like

there's just they're just watching they're they're they it's like watching paint dry okay but I need I need my quarterbacks to be a little bit like that more like that so I am okay with it if they're a quarterback Sam Darnold he's a vibe he's a vibe but he's also very much like you know we put in the work in the offseason we did our thing game after game I guess we're here like here we are like we did it he was just kind of like I don't know it was just sweet how he in the interview after the game how he how he uh talked about it oh my god you know who I also my heart got really heavy heavy for just like I was just like this is a sweet not only is Fernando Mendoza and his story and his family and himself like such a sweet he like protect him at all costs he just seems so

sweet um he's he's everything's like all glory to god and he's smiling and he's just like happy to be there and he's just so grateful and oh my god like i i love my team and whatever but then the coach the coach this older i forget the coach's name for indiana but like he has such a he he's up there and I was like he's just like a sweet older man I think he's from Alabama right yeah that's the whole thing right he went to Indiana anyways but go Seahawks I guess um yes go Seahawks Drake Mays an excellent quarterback but I don't if we played and this is the thing that's such a mind fuck and I know they have a lot of injuries but the way we played the 49ers i just have in my head that they're a great team the 49er and it's not that they're not it's that

i'm not going to talk my shit about i can't about their quarterback why can't i think of his name the fucking the the um the the last to be drafted how come I can't say his name right now 49ers quarterback oh my god this is like it's like on the tip of my tongue like Jacqueline come on Brock Purdy um I don't know about him I don't know about him I think there's a reason why he was picked last no I'm kidding I'm kidding actually I'm not saying that he's, he's great. Okay. So I'll talk about this tournament that we went to

because we have to keep it moving. That's the whole, I'm having fun though. Like I will say this episode feels fun. Um, I just wish I had more beverages. Okay. So our friends invited, invited us out to the desert to go to the American express golf tournament in La Quinta. I kept saying La Quinta or like I initially said that. And then Corey's like, it's La Quinta. I'm like okay La Quinta it's not where like you go to Coachella if you're not around if you're not from California it's like Coachella like that vibe that area Palm Springs okay and um this was a one night thing the night we went to the jury or we went to the jury experience and then uh that night we drove or no no no we woke up early the next morning we were going to

go that night. We woke up early the next morning, drove a couple hours out to the desert and went to the golf tournament with our friends and we stayed at their house. It was a one night thing. It was a one night thing that I prepared for like it was a five week trip to Europe and I need to look my best, dress my best, be my best. I mean, the way I prepare for an overnight, like one night, it's so psychotic. Like I, okay. This is my favorite thing to do though. Like ever is I'm not a, I'm not a hoarder with clothes. I get, I'm, I'm a pretty, I keep it lean. Okay. because I think it's more fun I would rather not have a lot of clothes and have something like wear a lot of the same things all the time which is what we all do right

I would rather that than um have a lot of clothes and then it's time to go to an event and you're just like pulling from everything you have and it's like chaotic and you're trying to like figure out outfits and these are a lot of the things you have are like you're not into anymore so I would rather have less clothes and then when events pop up and when trips happen I would rather go shopping for things for that and then like build my wardrobe because I keep everything excuse me um and like plan outfits for the trip or the event before it and like get excited and also like your body like my body's changed over you know it's been like changing recently. And, um, so long story short, you guys get what I'm saying.

I went to TJ Maxx. Okay. And I got pants. I got pants that I felt great in white pants. They were linen blend. I, I, I'm pretty sure they snuck poly polyester in there. the polyester it's hard to escape these days in clothing um and I went to TJ Maxx and I tried on outfits and I was like I'm going to the golf tournament I'm going to the desert I want an outfit and I want to feel great and confident and I got pants I got a pair of jeans and I got pants and I got a couple tops and then I put on the top with see like I'm like and also another thing I love to do is I'd love to do a fashion show I love to like try on all the clothes with all my clothes before a trip and do I need to powder my upper lip sorry I think I'm low on lip gloss too

I love does anyone else do you do this like when you plan outfits and stuff and mind you it's one night I do have a roll of toilet paper on the set today just in case because I'm still stuffy um I love doing should I have one piece of hair in the front I'm like I feel like I don't know yeah okay um yeah I love hanging out I have a rack I like hang my outfits up and then like Corey will be watching TV or whatever and I'm I'll do a fashion show and I'll say like do you like this do you like that and so like one of the tops I got I'm saying like too much one of the tops I got was a it was a matchy matchy set so my linen-y white pants that I wore would have matched the top I found matched it it was a scoop neck slightly peplum top with buttons down the

middle, gold buttons, really classy, right? And the thing is, is like, there's so many different ways you can go about dressing for a golf tournament. You can go sporty, you can wear athleisure, you can dress like you're going golfing. A lot of people do. I just like, I like to step it up. Okay. I like to like class it up. I don't know. I like a lot of gold jewelry. I like a spray tan. I like a light white lineny pant or a light dress. I think white at a golf tournament is great um it just it's it just looks nice and classy and put together so I got that I put on this top and Corey's like you look like you're going to a that's that's a nice top but you look like you're going to a meeting this looks like a like you're going to the office and because it was

very uh you guys probably can imagine it like very uh class like too and I'm like I look classy don't I? He goes, well, yeah, you look classy, but like you're going to like a meeting. He just didn't get it. He didn't get the vision. So I just wore a black tank top instead. And it wasn't because of him. I honestly just felt more comfortable in it. And I, the top was a whole situation with the fucking tits. You guys, it's like, it's like, dude, love them. Also. It's never not a situation getting dressed. I was, when I was out at lunch shopping with my friend the other day she's like buying a corset and I looked at the cups on the corset and I was like like there are simply there there are clothes and this is like okay a good problem to have like

haha okay we're being immature today we know this we're now we're talking about my fucking we're alluding or talking about my tits I always draw attention to my body I can't help myself on this podcast it's always it's always a thing okay at least we're not talking talking about me being on a GLP-1 okay we're talking about my tits how much that's so much more fun that's so much more fun but there are so many clothes like tops I simply cannot even wear that are cute because of my chest and so that was a whole thing with the shirt anyways I didn't wear I wear a black tank top but I went to TJ Maxx and they got a new shipment in it was like this TJ Maxx every now and then you hit a good one and the TJ Maxx I own it I'm like this feels like I'm literally at Nordstrom

like the this the inventory is so good and it's so well stocked um they have all the best shit like my jeans I got rag and bone jeans for like 80 bucks I was like score you know um so yeah I went shopping and we packed and then we left and we went okay so by the way first things we hate list uh no more like that because i'm i don't want my shit together um barrel jeans i'm declaring war on barrel jeans i I, who looks at that silhouette and thinks, yes, absolutely, awesome, that looks great, can't wait to have my own pair.

Who looks at that silhouette of a barrel jean and doesn't laugh and doesn't go, what, this looks wrong? when it cuts in and tapers at the ankle like that the only way to make it hot okay so first of all you have to be a buck 15 you have to be tiny to pull it off the thing is i'm all about proportions kibbe body types you guys know i'm a soft dramatic and i have to and i am an inverted triangle so i have to like flare out the pants. So I am, I feel attacked by barrel jeans because it goes, they go against everything my body needs when it comes to getting dressed. Okay. So I just for, for that reason alone, I fucking hate them. Okay. But the only way to really pull them off is a sexy, like

super not strappy, but just like a clean strappy heel. It's got a strap on the toe, but nothing, nothing on the top of the foot. Barrel jeans have to be kind of baggy, almost like they're a wide leg you have to you have to be this big tiny tiny tiny and then you can't have a jacket that the jacket has to be cropped up it can't be too long because then the jacket will hit this the part that billows out I mean these look like clown pants they look like clown pants and everyone's wearing barrel jeans right now and um I can't get behind it I saw some barrel jeans when I was at TJ Maxx I saw some and I got immediately annoyed you guys something that's really fun to do in life by the way take it from me and I know you've not only should ICE agents take a page out of my book

for humanely deporting a life out I keep saying a life because I don't want to say a mouse outside of this country aka my home not only should they listen to me on how to safely de-escalate and deport life without um ending it you as a listener right now should take take take a page out of my book take should life is so fun when you have specific things you love and hate for no reason And I think it's like so fun to attack. Like, like it just colors life in such a fun way. And it's like, it's so stupid and pointless, but why do I do it? I don't know. I'm just so, what was the thing in Free Bert where he was talking to his therapist? Sorry, I'm telling you, spoiler alert, I'm telling you what happened in Free Bert, Bert Kreischer's new Netflix series. the therapist is like the reason why you take your shirt off he looked huge by the way I saw him we went and saw his show like a couple years ago now in San Diego I'm sorry I'm so glad he had a leg aneurysm or whatever he had or a blood clot because and he lost 40 pounds on

recently and I I listen to like every podcast he's on because I'm a big fan okay hi I'm a kreischer fan hi i'm i don't know the the immaturity thing like like i love that kind of his light his extreme immaturity is endearing obviously and i'm drawn to it because it's refreshing and it's it's um he's so deadpan about he'll just say something so immature and it's like oh like he's like dumbfounded but that people are like it's kind of like Bobby Lee no like who else does that he's like I want to he'll be like I was watching oh my god him and fucking Tom talking about the oculus porn he's like he's like he's like yeah he's like having orgies on it like he's like in an orgy Bert is telling Tom on their podcast like he's in he's watching VR porn and on

his oculus but he has the setting so he can like keep football on in the corner again like this is so crass and horrible and like can't believe that this is entertaining to me and hilarious like also does this say a lot about me as a woman that I fucking listen to shit and it's funny to me I don't fucking care so he's like yeah but I have the setting on where I can like watch football but then I'm getting I'm getting sucked off on the side so I have the view the view settings so like and he's like breaking it down so without any like I can't believe I'm telling you this but none of that it's literally just like this is matter of fact this is what I do and this is how I was he's just talking about oh and then he's like and then Tom's like how was sex with your wife

we're like I don't know you're breaking that down but anyways in free bird back to what I was saying about um controlling the narrative what was I saying about barrel jeans and hating things and why am I a hater and why am I certified like I have to have a really brash and intense negative opinions about things that are stupid like barrel jeans and I'm attacking anyone that wears them right now who loves barrel jeans um why do I do that and it's like and I was referring to in free Bert he's talking to his therapist he's like the reason why you're take you take your shirt off and you're the party guy and you're doing that is to it's a it's a protection thing like you're protecting yourself because if you do it it's a whole like if you make fun of yourself you did it

first so like no one has that over you no one can make fun of you because you already do it to yourself right and so it's like if bird already what did he say it was like a perfect phrase like a protection thing it's something you're actually really insecure about then you I don't know I just I think it's fun and I don't over I don't need to overthink it I also think like my brain is a fun place to be okay it's fun I look at life like every day you wake up, and you can live your, you live your life, you do your thing, but your thoughts, your, your, the, your, you could, it can be so much more fun, and funny, and interesting, and crazy, like, if, if you just think, let your brain, I don't know, is this, most people are squares, and they're

straightforward, and they're ABC, okay, I think that's fine, okay, there's, everyone's different, but I think it's fun to to explore your mind a little more and think more and to creatively what do you call that daydream I don't know like I just there's a lot going on in there and it's fun it's like I actually think it's fun it's fun to like yeah um like I was showing you something I was oh my god something we also hate and this is so specific oh man this is so specific the way people take bites. I'm not going to break this down, but I was going, okay, wait, wait, wait. Also something we hate, Barbie crotch. I've talked about the Gymshark leggings since day one.

Oh, it gives you a fucking fupa when you hike your leggings up. Okay. Back in the day when I started this, it was Gymshark. Everyone was wearing Gymshark. Now it's Honor. Now it's Alphalete. now it's defined now it's okay but I have that is also the enemy of the show like leggings like jacked up like that the barbie crotch when it's it's so like you don't have to hike them up that high but I was pointing that out to Corey and then I'm also like watch how they take a bite and he was like oh that's so like jarring like I can't watch that and it's like when people shovel food in like like they're fucking I'm sorry I don't have misophonia like I don't care when people chew I'm being such a I'm too negative today okay we're

moving on okay so I went to the TJ Maxx we went to okay let's get to the American Express golf tournament I just did my sticky note keep it moving and next week I'm gonna I'm gonna write be kind stay positive stop hating other people stop um gossip or hating other being negative about other people's happiness because maybe they like to have a all the mouth textures in their mouth or their food textures in their mouth at once like that and they take a big bite but it grosses you out you don't have to watch it don't you don't even follow them you just look them up to show Corey because you're like you can't believe the crotch situation and and how big of bites they take and you had to unfollow them because of that because every time they

posted anything all you could stare at is their fucking crotch and their leggings and it was annoying because it's like I know too much about your fucking vagina through your pants and that's all I see whenever I look at your content and I can't help myself because it's literally it's all you showcase pick a different angle I don't know loosen up the crotch on your pants. Pull it down a little bit. Wear a skirt. Simply just erase the, okay. So we wake up, this is our trip to the desert. This is now a four hour podcast and we haven't even talked about the ice situation yet. Okay. So did I get to the desert? No. Okay. I picked out my outfits. Okay. We did that. And then I did the fashion show for Corey and then I ended

up wearing a tank top okay whatever um but the amount of stuff you have to pack for one night as a woman is is so like whenever it's a one night thing I'm like because you need every single thing I'm like I need my skincare stuff I need my face remover stuff my makeup remover stuff I need my hair products I need my brush I need my thing to do my hair I need it's like and then supplement stuff and then it's like yeah I guess it's not that bad oh and it's the makeup too that's also it it's always always the calculation of which what makeup am I going to take and how how hard do I want to go with makeup or do I want to so anyways we wake up at 5 a.m. and we go to Starbucks and I love road tripping we have the best time it's just such a I get so giddy I get so giddy

when we road trip or travel. I get so giddy. Oh my God. Like literally nothing is more fun than traveling with Corey. Cause it's, we always get the same shit. We get the same drink, same Starbucks drink, and we always get the bacon egg bites every single time. And I could live off those bacon egg bites. I probably have those bacon egg bites once or twice a week. That's my errands. When I run errands, which I love doing, I'm going to probably run errands after this. That's my snack. I get a quad espresso. I've been going up to the quad instead of a triple, triple espresso or quad espresso on ice in a grande cup with salted caramel, cold foam and the bacon egg bites. It's like $10, a little steep

for what it is. I'll take it. You know, it's a little treat. It's usually a midday thing. And I, and I go and I run errands and I go to the Goodwill honestly. Of course, like how come every time I see your location, like when you're running errands, you're just at the Goodwill. And then I check it three hours later and you're still at the Goodwill. I'm like, well, I'm a, I have to look at everything kind of person when I'm at a store. I have to look at everything, especially a thrift store, because you never know if that next thing is going to be the thing, the jackpot. If you don't look at every, like you're going to miss it, you know? So you have to look at everything. Oh, I love it. I want to go, I want to go to the

goodwill after this okay so we go to the desert we show up and we took Jimmy okay so this is the first time Jimmy's been separated from Louie since they've been like since they've met they've never been away for it's crazy to think about that we always travel with them together or they hang back together and get beat and get babysat so this time we left Louie at Corey's parents and we we took Jimmy because our friends have a golden retriever and they said we could take him it would be no problem so Jimmy had his first solo weekend without Louie and you know we show up and he immediately shits himself projectile shits himself because I think we were saving the dog food for Louie for his parents to feed him because we only had like a couple packs left and we fed them

chicken and sometimes sometimes when we just feed them plain chicken they have the shits and it's like it shouldn't work like that because that's the most pure simple thing you could feed them but anyways Jimmy gets out of the car and projectile shits maybe because of the pup cup we got him at Starbucks I don't know so that was a whole situation so it's like hi nice to see you whatever like their house is on the course I think like I don't know what hole and this golf tournament's a three course rotation the American Express so you're not always so the players play it's a really weird thing how they do it and the cut's different they cut after three days I think instead of two. Um, but anyways, so it's like, hi. And then, you know, they're out there watching

golf and then I'm walking Jimmy, he shits himself and then it wraps her on his hip. Okay. So he's like shit on his fucking hip. And it's like, I just showed up. We haven't even taken our bags out of the car and they're so chill, you know, whatever. I just kind of kept it on the deal. I'm like, Corey, get me a, you know, can you like give me like a paper towel and like some soap it up and like you know I like found a like hose thing and I'm just like getting them and so that was the thing um and then I'm trying to think we watched a little there and then we got ready we went to the major like main I think it's called the Pete Dye Stadium course um we went there and that's when I had my first cocktail but I was like sick and I wasn't really like

feel, this is the thing I'm like when in Rome, but also like sick a little bit, like, but I'm going to be there for a while. And everyone else is drinking and people are getting so hammered. People get so fucked up at golf tournaments. And, um, we, yeah, we go there and we have, um, we're in like a booth thing and there's free food and drinks. Nothing's free by the way. nothing is free but um it is if you have a little stupid wristband and you I don't know you know people so we I get like oh they had brisket and they had I was loading up what drink did I get as my first drink that sucked it was a Michelob ultra triple filtered ultra filtered organic seltzer something and it I think I got the grapefruit one and I just like couldn't because

I don't drink hard alcohol like I guess that was in it I don't that's something I'm I just don't drink anymore at all and I didn't even want it like I didn't even want a mixed drink or anything but you guys probably think I'm an alcoholic okay by the way it's in my blood it's in my family and I'm hyper aware of it and I've had some small episodes a few times in my life as anyone who drinks alcohol might have everyone has a story I have a story okay let me live and also it's January, I've been talking about a lot more. I've been opening up more about my alcohol consumption. I don't know. I think it's cause I, I think I, I think I, I, it's like, okay, first up is, is awareness or admission. I think I'm hyper aware obviously because of my family

and people I know outside of family, just what I've, but within my own bloodline. Okay. It's been a problem um so I'm hyper aware but also I think I've yeah in the last like I I think like the older I get the more social I get the more often I drink and then it just becomes more of a habitual thing and then I have had a couple bad moments with it where I used to never have any bad I guess I fucking did in college though like who I mean dude I'm giving myself a hard time. I really am. Okay. Um, you'll know if I show up at a, I'll talk all about it. Okay. I'll do that 12 step shit. And we're not even touching that. We're not even scratching that surface surface at all. But anyways, I, what was I saying? I got this seltzer. I didn't know if I wanted a

beer or wine. I was like indecisive. And I was just like, honestly, I should just eat this stupid fucking brisket and have a diet Coke. Cause that sounds better. But I got a stupid Michelob ultra thing. And it was like a whatever drink. It was like, it tastes like nothing. Then I think I switched to a Modelo. I had one more Modelo and that night I had wine, which is why I felt so hungover the next day. Um, but we ended up going, so we watched the tournament, go Scotty, go. We were watching Scotty Shuffler. Um, who else's was out there? I don't know. He's doing so well. this is so long this episode oh my god I need to talk about ice hold on I need water I don't know if I want to get pissed off today you know what I mean like I don't know if I want to

I already got pissed off at barrel jeans like I don't know if I need to get turnt like that about you can tune into other podcasts to hear about people's opinions on what's going on in Minnesota like I don't think I'm gonna say anything new I kind of like my hair gets really matted if I don't brush it throughout the episode because I have fine hair um let me just finish up the story of our trip so then we I make Corey take a few pictures of me in my outfit my tj maxx pant outfit um felt my I was feeling myself and we went to the gift shop um but I was like we can't get anything because it looks like you work at a bank if you get American Express swag like golf

tournament swag because everything has American Express on it I'm like you just you know what I mean so it's fun to get like a souvenir a little tchotchke at the gift shop when you go to these things but we didn't um but then we the group we all went back to someone's house and hung for a little bit with their 13 year old dog that was really sweet and I remember petting her and I was thinking yep this will be the last time I pet you and you are an angel sweet loving lab and you are so precious and I was like getting all emo about the dog you know um but oh fuck I didn't fucking tell you the gossip about now you're gonna know who I'm talking about but I there's so I'll probably never see him again fuck

I was gonna say how like when I was talking about my housekeeper how I was feeling snooty and it's not who I am it's not where I come from right and um I'm around when I'm And there's just a lot of people that are out of touch. I'll just say that. And like, kind of, um, they're out of touch and they're not even like, it's not about bragging or anything. It's just like, but it kind of is in some circles. It's like talking about the Hermes bag and the fucking Louboutin, like talking about the stuff is kind of the, it's the nonchalance of talking about it. it's kind of like the way men like what do men do that's like this that women I'm interacting with do it's like um dick swinging competition I don't know it's not even that it's just it's just the fact that everyone affords it and has it and so there's no like and it's just a different class of when you have a different wallets I guess when you run in circles with people different wallets like really fucking what like because I'm around like

extremely wealthy people it just hits different when they're I'm just so everything to me is always like a pleasant like surprise and I'm like you know I have nice things whatever but I'm just always kind of um it's about being gracious I guess or just the way of being is not it feels gross sometimes when you talk to people you're like it's kind of like in the Freebert show the woman so his wife Leanne the characters um Leanne's character who plays Leanne in his show there's a a woman she um has a lot of interactions with I don't know like their um

school moms they like go to their kids go to the same school and um but like her vibe it's very like um why did you put the chocolate chip cookies you baked in the plastic container and not in a gift box with a nice bow like that would be a problem where like I would just be so happy to get the cookies and grateful and gracious like sometimes you meet people and it's just like that and it's like fuck dude like these people I was with, by the way, are not, I'm just, um, at all. I'm just saying like that. I was trying to bring that topic back from the beginning because I was around all these nice people and that had a lot of money. And, you know, it's like, anyways, uh, we ordered Chinese food. We play shuffleboard and

we watch tennis on TV. And we talk about, we were hanging out. We, uh, we were just hanging out talking about, we were doing like top five lists, like tier lists of everything we could think of. You know, basketball players, cuisines, sex position. I'm kidding. We were just like hanging out, you know, late night drinking wine, having Chinese food. We ordered the entire menu. It was an obnoxious amount of food. And then the next day, Jimmy somehow, I mean, it was right on the counter um jumped up and stole a tray of fried rice pork fried rice and took it into the guest bedroom and ate it and continued to projectile shit until this day I think he's still his fluffy ass his fluffy white golden retriever ass is

it's it always needs to be wiped out now because he he's not doing his god he's just God bless him. And then he ran out on the fucking fairway. He was an escape artist. We had him in the house and they have a courtyard and their pool has a fence to go out. It's like on the side of the house, one of those things. And the first time he, it was open, like he pushed it and got through and ran out. And this is like professional, like PGA golf tournament. Like you can't, this can't happen this is very much like this does not like this is a major no-no and then he somehow did it again and I like know I shut that gate and I locked it I know I did like I firmly was like this cannot open so I don't know how else he got out um but he had fun he's uh it was a great time

with him and the next day we woke up got Starbucks again and we were just driving I'm like let's drive around La Quinta let's see what La Quinta has to offer and we ran into a little car show little parking lot car show I'm not a car fanatic I'm not you know a collector I'm not a connoisseur but Corey loves cars and I was like let's check out the car show and we saw the the car that was in Ford and Ferrari Ford versus Ferrari the Cobra and he's like this is my favorite car and I was like oh my god this is my favorite car and then we were like arguing over like no this is mine you have to pick a different one we were doing one of those stupid things and um it was cool lots of lots of older gentlemen talking speaking of taking pride in what you own like

the opposite of people who don't mow their lawns are people that own classic cars like they or like landscape their front i'm not talking about not mowing your lawn i'm talking about like zero landscaping like no or yes not mowing your lawn forever and like letting that just go go go is while you come and go out of your house and you're actively living there that's what I'm referring to as common enemy or like that is the common enemy that is our number one offender and the people we hate the most on the show but the opposite of that are people that own nice cars and like literally oh other neighbor I should bring him into the mix speaking of that we have another neighbor believes in the military really nice guy he

fucking has it's like a fucking miata okay this isn't a nice car it might be a little mini bmw a little tiny i forget if it's a miata or bmw i think it's a bmw he like will be out there in his fucking front of his house with his car he covers it polishing it like rubbing that thing down for hours right and I'm I'm like there's got to be something to this like he takes a lot of pride in this car and the only thing I can think of is maybe that was his dad's car and this is how he feels close to his deceased dad because his dad's dead and that was his you know that that type of thing but anyways we saw the car show went back to the house watch a little more golf um I don't know we went we got we went and got uh more brisket okay we had some more lunch we

had we had lunch we watched a little more golf and then we drove back and that was our weekend and um yeah oh I didn't tell you about our Julian inventions the inventions we were gonna do so I think the future of dishwashing is not a robot that stands over your counter at your sink or stands over your sink I need some water hold on I don't think it's a robot that stands over your sink with its robot arms and washes the dishes like a person would i think the future of dishwashing and the future of kitchen tech is the faucet is the robot so this is my invention the sink has a robotic arm similar to what you

would see in a factory like a car factory or a where it's working on there's a conveyor belt and things are coming by and it's doing its thing the robot arm does its little portion of the the building and then the next thing goes and then okay similar to that a robotic arm that is sort of shaped like a faucet like it comes up and then down has a crane-like structure okay and then that arm is not only your faucet that can automatically dispense hot water if you need it filtered water fuck it maybe maybe this thing could do diet coke and like you could I mean the list can go on you could have like a whole this could be like a fucking soda fountain or it could be a it could

be a whole any drink you want that's a little too I'm talking like let's talk basic okay water this thing dispenses water hot or cold filtered obviously could be reverse osmosis we could get fancy whatever and then when there are dishes this arm does all the cleaning or or I was thinking about this and I'm like it would obviously detect things and then spray it because it has water within it and it would clean it okay you get you get the idea it'd be a robotic arm that does the cleaning and it automatically does it so like you give it a dish and it just like and then like puts it on the rack and it detects it can detect scrubbing if it needs like if the pan needs scrubbing you get what I'm saying so that's the future I think that's what we're going to see I

don't think it's going to be a robot standing over your sink I think the mechanism is just going to be like a faucet that's robotic that does a bunch of different things like dispensing water and cleaning dishes with amazing sensors without breaking like it won't break a wine glass and then the drying rack set up next to it has to be a certain way so that also has sensors you know everything's going to be connected like at least whatever's next to it that it puts the dirty dishes on has to have sensors not sure where the dishwasher comes in in this equation because it wouldn't put dish it could put dishes in the dishwasher but then it would need an extension the arm would have to have an extension

might be kind of a little a little too much there but you get the idea next stupid invention I thought of and I've talked about thumb braces for the entirety of this show I wonder what people are going to need more faster more of faster because of phones glasses because our eyes are going bad sooner or thumb braces right I'm like what's going to go first but I thought of this stupid gift thing you could buy it could you could get this at like a dumb gag gift store and it's a it's a thumb fitness kit to improve your scrolling abilities like a fucking made it's like a stupid thing like get better at scrolling or whatever and it's like a literal some sort of thumb exerciser thing and then you can have like

maybe like a thumb brace in there too like a fitness kit for your thumb for scrolling okay and then okay that's the last that's the second one and then the final one and I don't know how this would work exactly, but it's an Amazon. It's a front door. It's an integration for the Amazon delivery home integration. So like when you get Amazon deliveries right now, they just go to your front door and they drop it off. But in the future, that's going to look different. And I don't really know exactly. I'm, I'm trying to describe, like okay maybe that stays the same for forever whatever but I'm thinking like what could be cool what could be like uh every house has this like a mailbox do you hear do you get where I'm going

with this every house has maybe it's just built in the in the porch like a designated this is where the Amazon packages go or something because I don't know I mean we go in phases of ordering I mean we just got groceries again because it's so fucking convenient fuck I'm in a fucking I'm in a grocery delivery phase and I'm mortified it's such a like love hate thing where I'm like this is convenient someone has a job like they're that's how the world goes around right now and but then I'm also like I'm such a lazy piece of shit that I don't but I'm not but I'm not I'm not we know this I'm a hard worker okay I'm doing my best I give myself way too hard of a time. I need to like switch up my cadence. I give myself way too hard of a time

for how I am when it's fine. Um, bad Amazon front door integration. Okay. News. Let's move on. Um, um oh no that's too much no all right a little seventh inning stretch here before we get into news which is really me this will really just be me popping off about what's going on in Minnesota because it's it's I have it's just it's really rough and sad um but it's really simple to me like also uh it's very simple to me and I I don't know if that's the best quality that I just I'm such a zoom out person like all the way out but then when I zoom too far out of the situation

about what's going on in Minnesota and like an ice and deportations and illegal immigrants and I'm like we're all just people and we're all just here on the spinning rock you know they need to zoom out too much and then it gets a little too woo woo so I won't go that far but I'll go just I'll go far enough where it's logical it's well thought out and it makes sense and it's practical and it's with no emotion just logic low low emotion less emotion more logic okay so Harry Styles has a new song out and it sucks okay I didn't cover that but it's called Aperture and they played it today it's in spin class and it was like a four minute long song and it was during the time of spin class when we

they shut the lights off and it's like this is time this is your time this is time this is your time okay it's after we do our arm our weights with our arms our little three pound weights I used to make fun it's been class it's so funny I like I love it now I'm obsessed but he played Aperture my instructor played it and it's just not the best song okay it's just not it doesn't like I said when I bitched about his new album and his whole vibe last week I'm like everything about his shit is like floating in the sky like a butterfly flashing lights aperture whatever the fuck the song's about it's just very like there's no beat I said I need him to have it needs more of a drop a bass a beat a thup a thup a thup what's a thup t-h-u-p

thup games is a developer of popular educational children's apps and internet so random thup what's up it's like it's like you have a lisp um so it needs like yeah a little more heavy i want him to be a rocker okay that's my whole thing not a whatever he is now is he gender fluid whatever or what is he not fluid he's sexually fluid or is he gay but he's like not he's like open to everything you know but also like in the dress thing and the weird outfits that's that are metro he's like metro right i just wanted to be like you know i've been roaming around always looking down his cover of or no I think it was all of one direction

covered use somebody by kings of leon he's his voice in that is so if you know you know like it's so I would look that up and just watch it because I'm like it's so good I've been I mean what other songs is does he just belt so well that or not yeah um brooklyn beckham is a disgrace to society and i don't need to cover this because it's so rich people problems like he's so when you break down everything because brooklyn beckham victoria and david beckham's son married to what's her name breckham's wife i just saw this article nicola pelts um daughter of a billionaire i think he bought snapple or some shit i don't really know

they're married whatever there's drama it's stupid something about a dress getting not made or getting the the production of her wedding dress being stopped at the 11th hour of basically oh and the worst the worst thing he wrote was like or the dumbest thing he wrote was about signing his name off or the or no it was about like it's like when you pre-marital stuff where you're you're you're you're from a family a billion dollar family with billion a billion dollar brand the Beckham brand and it's like a standard fucking operation to sign shit so that if so Nicola can't marry you and fucking take that Beckham name and and ruin it and do whatever the fuck she wants like there's procedures in place it's it's a pre-nuptial shit okay in marriage

that um he made it sound so bad and it's like no dude this is a standard thing like this is enough like you're lucky to have this as a quote-unquote problem like yeah so anyways i'm reading this article here podcaster claims nicola pelts gets staggering monthly announced from billionaire dad well no shit um i think brooklyn just makes food on tiktok what's this what does he do? Brooklyn Beckham's job. He's just a nepo. He's a culinary entrepreneur, content creator, and aspiring chef. He launched his own hot sauce brand. I'm not making fun of because I don't know what it would be like to be a child of a family like that

or a child of like a Beckham family child. What am I saying? But like, I think Brooklyn Beckham should join ICE. I think that would be really good for him. I think that's all I have to say I think do you get it like when I say that I think you get it sometimes these rich nepo baby kids it's like throw them into war like get enlist them in if I was a parent if I was a family with

a oh my god I would be they need to they need to shoot someone sorry they need to be roughed up like you know what i mean they need to have some adversity okay they need to face a karen in the street in the middle of minneapolis and they need to like during the the protests they need to be armored up and and in fear of their life and fear that this Karen is gonna kill them you know and they need to feel that fear okay because baking lasagna with your wife Nicola and filming it or what did he make chicken parm with ground chicken by the

way in your stupid fucking condo where do they where do they live do they even live in a house I don't know they probably have multiple houses but I'm like you're doing nothing of value with your life get out in the street join ice and and make a difference in fact go onto their website you can enlist your or you can this is my favorite thing if you go on to uh ice.gov okay the thing about okay I'm gonna just Brooklyn Beckham okay their relationship is very like it's just fucking stupid okay whatever Nicola gets money from a billionaire dad we don't need to read that article but this is the thing I was like thinking about when I went to ice.gov because I was I was looking shit up right I'm like what's going on here and I'm like

and this is a very basic thing this is there's so much going on here okay we're gonna talk about multiple topics within the ICE topic okay but I'm like they have this thing on a section of the ICE website called self-deportation and I was thinking about it and I'm like this would scare the fuck out of me if I went into a country and I know it's like not as black and white here in the U.S. how it's kind of like a it's like a gray area like coming here illegally like it happened people are so many people are under here under the table working and shit so it's not as but I'm like this this is um this is the line here U.S. immigration and customs enforcement enforces immigration laws inside the United States those enforcement duties include arresting detaining and removing

removing aliens who are legally present in the United States if I was existing and living and working in another country I would always be scared about this like I wouldn't even do it I get why they do it I get why they do it I totally get it but it's like it's like if you're illegally present in the U.S. you don't have to and shouldn't wait for ICE officials to arrest you instead you can leave on your own terms so you can deport you can self-deport okay we all know about this you can get your own fucking flight home and shit they give you a ticket so if you were in the U.S. for any period of time an hour a month or 50 years so I always go back to the basic thing like follow the law follow the law that's the basic principle it's like there are

rules follow them okay and then when you don't there there are consequences right that's my whole basic mindset what do you call that uh about all of this that's what this is all rooted in people not following the law and there are consequences when you don't follow the law and that's just one-on-one being a citizen of any country like there are and you can't they're they're there for a reason and it is what it is right okay so there's that but we're not even on the icing yet but I just thought of that I was reading this website and I'm like this would scare the fuck out of me I'd be like um and then if you don't self-report I see because I'm thinking if I'm like in what's like a country that would scare the fuck out of me like let me

like if i was on the libya's ice.gov version our website and they had this and it was like wait is libya scary no what country am i thinking of syria okay yeah i would be terrified okay and now it's like if you don't self-deport this is from ice.gov ice uses its resources to find arrest and detain aliens who are in the u.s illegally the agency conducts routine daily operation operations and enhanced enforcement operations sometimes with hundreds of federal law enforcement officials working together to find aliens who aren't authorized to be in this country um removal comes with other consequences too including bars so these are just the rules the law okay but i was thinking about like if i was in a different country illegally

I'd be so fucking like paranoid and shit I don't know why this is like not I was just on the website and I was reading about that and I was like that's not the vibe in this country though that's not the vibe in this country because you're gonna have so much protection from not only your your neighbors people that are gonna totally I mean they'll literally get shot in the face for you. Like they'll literally put the, like die for you. Okay. But the vibe isn't like, it's becoming that way now because people are fucking dying, getting murdered now by ICE. But like the vibe isn't terrifying. Like if you're here, if you're here illegally, it needs to be more terrifying. And I guess it's getting more,

it's clearly getting more terrifying people are actually fucking scared to be here illegally now and it's almost like you need that in a country like you need i'm not saying like i'm shit what do they do in other countries just cut your head off i don't know but like there has to be a level of fear and right i think right now we're unfortunately for horrible reasons it's a little more scary to come into america illegally than it used to be and I think that's positive I said it shoot shoot me sue me um it shouldn't be like oh you know we can do this and we'll figure it out there's a way there's you know it's all gonna work out and there's a path for us and we can be here I mean it's it's so complicated though

because there are so many companies and this is who I think they should go after who hire people under the table illegal immigrants and those are the those are the criminals I mean it's all criminal like they're all doing it and so it's like go after those companies I I'm sure they are like I'm sure they're I have no idea I'm kind of talking out of my ass here but um back to what I said like it shouldn't be like you know I guess it shouldn't be you shouldn't feel safe I know that's so fucked up but like I wouldn't feel safe if I was in another country illegally literally most other countries I would be like oh fuck all the time I'd be terrified but so many people have been here forever and in that way and it's it's kind of like life as usual

like nothing I don't I don't know I don't know I need to do more research on the other side and what that life is like if you're not here legally um I'd love to interview someone you know I'd love to like meet more like what's that like right now I'm sure it's you know scary but I think that's how it should be um the thing I think is so jacked up about ice is that I fucking go to like ice careers to apply to be an ice agent this woman by the way this independent journalist I think she has a military background too. Yeah, she does. Cause they, they, they don't require it by the way. They don't even require a degree. So I think, I think, yeah, obviously ice needs to be reformed clearly. Um, and I think they could start with maybe requiring a college degree. Just start

there, set the bar a little bit higher. Cause you literally go to their, their website working for ice and it's like, America needs you. And there's uncle Sam and, um, you can, uh, it's like, you're in a fucking call of duty lobby on the ice website. It's like, choose your mission. Okay. So now I'm like going to choose my mission here. America needs you. America has been invaded by criminals and predators. We need you to get them out. And it's like, you do the next line is you do not need an undergraduate degree. So let's start there. Okay. Maybe require a degree. I don't know if that would change anything. I think it would. The thing is, is they had a surge of applicants to become ICE applicants. And now it went from 10,000 agents or yeah,

10,000 agents to now 22,000. So 12,000 new hires. So there's 22,000 of them. and there's a lot of fucking retard, like, there are so, they are, there's a lot of incompetent fucking retards out there, okay, and that's, that's the reality, and that's why I think there needs to be, it needs to be reformed, and they need to, it needs to be more serious, and I'll explain a little more why, like, so, this is, people want to be like, it's just, it's black am i i believe that by the way alex pretty uh renee good like it's murder like straight up like okay it's self-defense the renee good one's a little more gray whatever not really though because it's like but technically it is it tech or no technically it was self-defense like all the

technicalities of the angles of the wheels and the backup lights and her it's it's not it sucks it all and I said it sucks I'm like literally the episode title should just should have been it sucks but like this Alex pretty one is murder fucking straight up execution murder torture like fucking no way around it there's no way you can be like there's no what about ism there's no like what do you want to call it um you can't argue I get the other argument the opposing the argument that what the ICE agent did in that moment by shooting him was was no if you fucking justify it this is the okay we're not even I don't want to get on that yet because we're not even there yet let's start calm with the protesting okay let's start calm

with the protesting so 75 million Americans voted for mass deportations right this is a this is what we voted for right we voted for this not everyone did but like this is what we voted for okay so there's a federal mandate what the fuck do you call it mission operation to do this thing okay the borders closed that's amazing now we're going to uh mass support go in there and remove illegals right so that's something that is federally in place like it's at the level of the it's not a like it can't be fucked with you know what I mean um and again that's me being like this is the law this is the basic thing this it sucks right like this is hard to watch this is really bad this is really sad this is all the things right

but removing emotion you go well this is honest to god like doesn't matter what I think it's going to fucking happen and this is what's going on and it's not to be fucked with because this is the rule this is the decision and this is what the trump administration wants so okay and then what you have for reasons i think are not being discussed people out on the streets fucking with it interfering with it interfering with what the majority of americans voted for and what we as a country decided that we want for this administration, at least for now, okay? So you have all these protesters,

all these people agitating these ICE agents, taunting them, fucking with them. You've seen the videos, you see the protests. And it's, again, back to what I was saying, like it's a mob mentality and it's a mob situation where, And that never ends well, right? Like you can't have a country. We need order, okay?

We cannot have mob rule. That's just a basic thing with a country. You can't have a country if you have mob rule, okay? Like it doesn't work like that. And then what you have on top of this protesting is Tim Walz. Tim Walz kind of instigating it are basically like, you know, he's simultaneously saying, he's, okay, sorry.

I, you know what? I'm not one of those people that's like, I don't get political. I fucking get political on here. I get, I get heated about this stuff. He's encouraging people to protest, right? Straight up from his mansion, his gated mansion with his fucking megaphone. He's like, hey like you know he's simultaneously and this is a contradiction and if you have any sort of brain and wits about you like you would see this contradiction and and scratch your head and go like oh well he's the problem like this is the government the people of Minnesota's government is the problem here clearly because he's simultaneously encouraging the protesting okay and also saying ice is dangerous ice is murdering people they are dangerous stay away

it's like a contradiction so it's like if you really wanted to protect protect your people tim waltz walls waltz i always want to say waltz walls tell them to stay the fuck home okay that that's a whole thing it's like okay and then also if you are a citizen this is what I don't understand this is the psychology I do not understand and I think people naturally want to some people have a I want to help they have the I want to help gene they have the I want to go out there and do the right thing gene you know and they want it they think it's the right thing. Cause they see injustice and they're like, I can't see this. I need to go out and I need to defend and, and, and stand up for these people that, um, are being ripped from their

homes and their families. Like, okay. So there's that gene, but what I don't, what I do not get again, and this is going full logic mode is you as a, probably a liberal. Okay. In Minnesota, I'm guessing not all of them are. I think some people are within the right, right side of things are like, they're annoyed by Trump. They don't like what he's doing right now. I think there's a lot of that. It's like a weird shift happening that I understand that. I understand why like it's okay. And this is definitely not helping him what what's going on with ice at all. Like it's fucking, it's fucking everything up, but you might probably like, this is my assumption is you see what's going on in the streets. You see the incompetence happening with ice agents

and how reckless they're being and how abusive they're being and how trigger happy they're being, okay? Like you're seeing this, right? Like you're observing this and you're like, these fucking, we can say retards on, I'm saying it too much, but like these fucking retards,

I mean, we're saying it like really like that now. These fucking idiots are out there and they're dangerous and they're packing heat. Like they're all they're all you know, not all of them are. I was reading about that, like who gets a gun, who doesn't. It's like a whole thing. But so for you to put yourself to be around them because you already think they're stupid. You already think they're murderers in your brain. You already think that they're dangerous to be around. so for you to go and taunt them and to get in their face and to do whatever the film them and to fuck with their cars and whatever they're doing out there it's like you I'm not just and I'm and I'm saying it's like you're I'm holding safe for multiple choice because that's how you stay logical in this situation and not crazy because you have to there's a then you're just stupid

if that's what you believe if you believe they're dangerous and you go protest and you go taunt them you go fuck with them and you go get in their way and and you're unfortunately deciding to carry a weapon around them like you're not smart you're just not smart and that that could end in a really messy horrible tragic way which it did for Alex pretty and I think oh man he raised his own risk risk by showing up with a gun and he shouldn't be dead okay I believe that I believe that was step one showing up with a gun was step one like I'm gonna play a video after this um

I think yeah I believe that that's where he went wrong okay because even people that don't show up with a gun like I mean those people it's like there's also people's uh aren't there like rubber rubber bullets happening and people's eyes getting blown out and people getting you know all fucked up from these agents you know like some they're roughing them up okay so that's happening and they're not even carrying a weapon. Renee Goode, okay, she just simply was in a car being annoying and just whatever. And I hate when people,

because I listen to a lot of liberal podcasts because I like to hear the other conversation. I hate when they're like, she was just trying to drive away. She was just trying to pull up. Like he didn't need to stand in front of the car. Like I understand the entire argument, like I get it. But it's like simply don't be there. Simply mind your business.

mind your fucking business don't be a useful idiot for Tim Walls okay because he needs this story he needs this story right now in Minnesota he needs the protests to be happening he needs the Alex Pettys to be murdered he needs he needs the Rene Goods to be to be murdered so the headlines won't focus on the fraud going on with the fucking daycares or whatever the billions of the worst in history thing is happening in this state and if it's all about like getting re-elected I don't know if he can or I don't know how that where that is right now with him or it's all about like it's protecting like I it's so stupid like it's so stupid um but that's how the government that's how the fucking bullshit it's how it works it's all stupid

and he's I think that yeah the older we get and I think we we've if you're on this journey with me since like COVID times like you realize how the government is not here to protect you like it's just literally not and like the people they're gonna save themselves first or they're gonna make it like I'm having that realization now at this age because my frontal frontal prefrontal cortex is developed you know and I'm like actually seeing how the world works for or seeing how things are for what they are so you can simultaneously think back to what I was saying that Alex Preti raised his risk his own risk of

he raised his own risk of death, potential death or harm by bringing a gun to the situation. So you can believe that and also believe that these protesters are a lot of them are just agitators, like it's stupid and they

shouldn't be there and this is dumb and then also, so these are the things you can believe. And then also believe that ice needs better training on how to deescalate and detain people in these situations without the use of lethal force, without having to end their life. So those are the multiple truths. Those are the multiple things happening. um let me play this video because i i've been it's just like can we fucking use our brains around here i love this video and i kind of long but this is the this goes back to what i've seen when i watch this i go in my head i'm like i've i said this like the whole renee good thing and

the whole protesting thing i'm like people need to mind their business part of being a citizen in this country is mind your business. Okay. Don't be a nosy neighbor, mind your business and go to work. And now it's getting to the point where it's like, if you don't do that and you put yourself out in the literal line of fire of these ICE agents and these idiots who have, God knows how much training they have or who who what their backgrounds are or if they're who who the fuck knows like you could die like this is a third world country no it's not but I'm a black man in America right I walk around with a 19 on my hip a sig in my glove compartment and an ar-15 in my 2020 Honda Accord daily, right?

And you know what I don't do with those things? I don't go and impede law enforcement carrying out their duties. You know what I do? I mind my business. that's all i do i go out there i drink water i get money and i mind my business you know my favorite saying right and for some reason i'm able to survive every single day i'm able to come home run my kids a bath tuck them in and continue to do my thing

no harm comes to me no harm comes to my family i also have a 12 gauge pump away from the kids of course because you know you got to be a responsible pew pew owner okay and no harm comes to me and my family you get the idea it's a smart man that's what i was saying earlier be smart don't be emotional you know what i mean you could die and it's a harsh reality but you have to speak about it in that way now because people like don't get it through their heads and it's like also you're so dumb if you see Tim Walls with his megaphone encouraging you to go out there and stand up for your fellow neighbors and protect them and to protest against ICE and what they're

doing you're a fucking idiot if you watch that and then also see what they did to like Rene Good and now Alex Preddy and you continue it's like you're just a fucking And the term is useful, idiot. And yeah, we should live in a country where we feel safe to use our First Amendment right to practice free speech, to film, because you can film people and what they're doing and whatever.

And peacefully stand by and observe. Okay, but they're not doing that, okay? They're impeding law enforcement. They're impeding law enforcement. Are they law enforcement, federal agents, whatever? they're getting they're agitating the situation they're not being subtle about it they're not being peaceful about it okay there there are some that are of course are some but in general it's like the the bad things happen when you cross that line and now i think like let's go to alex

pretty and what happened because it's straight up fucking execution murder like this man should not be dead that ice agent should be put away and like fullest degree of the law like that was fucking bullshit and this is the thing I want to touch on about what's going on with ice and and the the guns of it all the thing that equals the playing field with every man in uniform across all agencies is that lethal weapon they carry. That equals the playing field. It doesn't matter if you're an ICE agent with one,

a cop, a Navy SEAL, fucking the Delta Force guys pulling out Maduro. Like they all have the same thing on their hip and it's a lethal weapon. that's the same across the board for everyone. And so it should be treated the same and the training should be treated the same. But it's not like, there's levels to like,

okay, how qualified people are and like how talented they are and how they're, you think the fucking, this is my thought about what happened to Alex Preddy. I'm like, you get those same guys who capture Maduro, the best of the best, our Delta Force dudes. I'm not quite sure what goes on in that agency, but I just know those are probably your most skilled guys with a gun out there.

One of the groups that's the best, okay? You put them on Alex Preddy, that guy's still alive. That's just my opinion. Because they would have, their training on, and all of these agencies, by the way, teach their guys, girls, whoever's, you know what I'm saying? Both. It could be both. Um, mostly men, I feel like, but yeah, of course, statistically, it's trying to be inclusive here. Um, how to safely deescalate situations without the use of lethal force and how to do it with

lethal force. You know what I mean? So they're trained on it, but again, it's the, the, the mind right like the this the the intelligence levels I think are different the the um that's where you that's where they differ obviously and that's why these ice agents are looking like a bunch of idiots like I don't know who this guy who shot Alex Preddy I don't know his background um I forget his name I don't fucking care because what a dumbass um yeah it doesn't matter what his back i'm just it does matter but i'm saying like put a different group of guys with guns on alex preddy in this situation he's alive you know what i mean and so just so happens you you're with these oh america needs you choose your mission

go on ice.gov and join and you know it's it's like do they even know who they're hiring it's one of those things and yet they have a fucking lethal weapon on their hip and now they've so here's the thing too is like this what we're talking about right now this is the thing this is the California wildfires of January of last year this is the fucking thing right now it's fucking ice and it's protests and and it's just like then I was thinking okay tinfoil hat time is this also like hey ice agents someone even slightly lays a hand or does any sort of defiance take him out like i don't know because the way they went zero to 100 on alex pretty in that

moment was like insane like and you saw him immediately like he grabs the woman who they shoved which was so aggressive they fucking shove her to the snow alex pretty's trying to help her up and then they pepper spray him he's like his hands are like this and then immediately fucking on the ground which by the way i'm trying to let's break this down now because we haven't broken down like exactly what happened because i've seen it from all angles i've seen the stabilized video it's so weird watching someone get murdered it's so fucking weird like it's so not weird that's the wrong word it's so sad it's sad it's so sad it's the worst sad feeling besides obviously losing someone you

know but like watching someone else in that moment it's like the thing that I think went wrong they went they they went full steam on him immediately and he wasn't it's like how do you not I feel like was he he was kind of resisting but also like when you're being pinned like that and you're on all fours like you kind of and it's also like what you say maybe he was like fuck you guys motherfuckers get the fuck off me if he just was like hey I'm you know like I don't know what you say in like the the technical terms if you're if you're carrying a weapon on your hip but like hey I have a gun like um I'll stop I'll stop I'll stop like some sort of like hey like

hey I'm maybe that I don't know what he was saying or if he was saying anything but like he was kind of I hate when people are like he was resisting he reached for his gun no he fucking didn't i think after he was shot he like attempted to but they pulled it off of him and i think what happened was the agent who shot him had a vantage point of his gun saw the gun and everything was so fast in these moments the other guy cleared it but with it was just not the communication and the whole fucking thing was a hot mess and the guy was being so reckless he could have shot the other guy the other agent right in the fucking head it was like he was so this is what i'm saying you get you get the best military guys in the in the world in this situation it doesn't

happen it's because it's a it's a difference of intellect and training and and skill and experience and all those things that these ice agents just simply don't have and so i think there's got to be a better way to do this in a civil such civil non-aggressive manner i just think the whole point is for it to be fucking aggressive you have to create fear you have to make it scary to come to this country and I feel like they're not even shooting

immigrants they're shooting American like fucking regular ass people a nurse and I think Renee Goode was a writer I don't know what she was but it's just all what are my final thoughts

on that because I need to wrap it up think about this too and I think a lot of people have said it you're not hearing about this in other cities because they're not because they're complying with the orders of what's going on

with ICE coming in doing their job like they're not resisting it they're not fucking with it like they're doing in Minnesota okay there are so many other cities where this is going off smoothly people aren't dying like this and clearly and people always bring up Obama and it's like look Obama deported a lot of people but of course the blue states okay so the why is this a political podcast it was just a fun sports podcast girly podcast now it's a political podcast you get the idea the red states are going they're following orders are going they're working with Trump they're working with Trump on this and this is a situation where they're not

and this is what happens and it's getting his own and Tim Walz's states on fire and fucking people are dying and it's just stupid so um but I think there's a better way to do this I don't know exactly how it should go um I think the kids of it all needs to stop that like that's heartbreaking um the the aggressive I just I just don't know and it's it's tough it's just with these fucking protesters that's where it's really just going going wrong like again there are examples of other cities I haven't done the research but it's just it's happening I know it's happening in other cities where it's going off more seamlessly because they're not because they're actually working with Trump and they're not

being fucking annoying like what are my bullet points here it's like mind your business drink water get get your money like this guy said it's not smart to show up in that situation with a gun he was probably thinking I have that to protect myself. Like I'm going to protect myself, but you already know these guys are trigger happy idiots that aren't fucking trained. Well, you already know that you're already going into the situation, not liking them because of that. And you think I'm going to protect myself with this gun. No, it's going to get you killed. Step one, go on the other end of the street, stay away from it. Mind your business on the side of the street, but getting in that, in the heat of those,

they just look like ass these fucking guys it's just not helping the cause it's it's it's fucking they just again it needs to be reformed it needs to be something needs to happen um it's clearly not this agency is not efficient and it's not reliable and it's unsafe for this country at this point or for some I can't say in total like obviously there are positives happening and it's going off well I'm trailing off you guys um but yeah um that's the episode please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now I'm on apple spotify google

podcast stitcher breaker overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. This is a video and audio podcast. And finally, if you want to support the show, patreon.com slash TJMS, patreon.com slash TJMS. It's $5 a month. Go check it out. Do I have any closing thoughts? i want to go make pasta now and go to the goodwill i love myself you know what i mean like damn i really am her you know like i really am her i'm what brings me joy you know you're in a good place when

all you want to do is make pasta and go to the goodwill and peruse man I'm a simple woman and I'm a modern bitch okay and I love that I love social media I love okay now I'm trailing all right um I hope you have okay wait do I have any final ice thoughts this is what happens and this is why it turns into a way too long of an episode um i just can't see when they argue that the that guy was resisting and like that's why they justified but there's no justification there is no justification

he shouldn't be dead um it's hard not to keep thinking about this sorry I need to button it up um that's the episode thanks for hanging out and I'll talk to you next week bye