The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 429- NATIONAL EMERGENCY: Touch Your Man More Than Your Phone

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

In this episode, I declare a national emergency and present my completely serious solution to America's declining birth rate. After reading a CBS article showing the striking correlation between the rollout of the iPhone in 2007 and the drop in US birth rates, I have one piece of advice: touch your man more than you touch your phone.Also in this episode: my piping hot take on Clavicular's new nose job, why I think everyone is missing the point, the World Cup, Netflix's Maternal Instinct (possibly the most disturbing documentary I've ever watched), Love Island, Nancy Guthrie, and I react to one of the wildest corners of the internet.In this week's life updates, we're talking suburban neighborhood drama, homeownership projects, my current gym routine, what I've been eating lately, and a little self-reflection on whether my delivery sometimes overshadows what I'm actually trying to say.Thanks for listening and supporting the show! Enjoy! :) REVIEW THE SHOW ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ https://open.spotify.com/show/4ijzUBunTIHgVmahB0ISEN BECOME A PATRON! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/tjms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ KEEP IN TOUCH!INSTAGRAM »⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinemonroe/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TIKTOK » jacqueline.monroe EMAIL THE SHOW!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ MY MUSIC GUY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. How are you doing? I'm going to take you into the reality of the situation immediately. Top of the episode of what's going on right now, because instead of me doing take after take after take, intro after intro, attempt after intro attempt of me trying to make a shtick happen, make a funny hee hee ha ha top of the episode shtick happen. I'm just going to keep it real. Okay. It's 2 PM on a Friday. It's June 26th. I just woke up from a nap. Okay. I can't have any more caffeine today. Um, if you're new here, um, I can't have any more caffeine today because I feel like this is a somber, sad way to, to reveal, by the way, the photos, the, the Instagram reveal photo. Hey, we're

pregnant. I'll just say it. Why do I beep it? Fuck it. It's already out of the bag. It's been out of the bag for like two months now on my podcast. But if you're new here, hi I'm uh we're tired okay it's the afternoon it's a Friday and I woke up from a nap with a face full of perioral dermatitis my hair in a messy bun and yeah so no makeup my set was ready my set was ready my notes are ready I'm ready to record otherwise but the the face the hair the vibes, the on-camera, like the on-camera ready situation was not where it needs to be at. Okay. I have a pretty high standard here on the show with my, um, when it comes to my makeup routine. Okay. I usually do a full beat. Um, today's makeup was a five minute slap on whatever you can find.

Cause I couldn't find my everyday makeup bag pouch thing that I usually do my makeup with. I have no idea where it's at. I think it might be in the car. Uh, I think it fell out of my gym bag because yeah, I wear makeup to the gym now because I have perioral dermatitis and I'm insecure. Okay. Um, and I'm fat and insecure right now. We're pregnant. We're fat. We're insecure about our face because we have acne and it's constantly red. So I, I pulled off a five minute maker makeup routine that is very reminiscent to, um, I looked in the mirror and I'm like, this is giving Ryan Seacrest hosting American Idol, um, before 4k was a thing like, but you could tell he was wearing a shit ton of face makeup and foundation when he was hosting American

Idol. That's the vibe. Okay. Then we slapped on a little Benetint berry toned lip tint, pushed our tits up, put some sunglasses on, uh, and a hat and we're ready to roll. Okay. So that's your intro? That's real life. That's like, Hey, what's your actual life like right now? Um, that's it. Okay. It's hard. It's getting harder. I am feeling, I'm feeling like a, so the thing is, is I, um, and I'll just set the scene right now. I'll tell you about my day. And then this is how the episode is going to go. So I'm going to set the scene, tell you about my day. How's your Friday? How was your week? Right. And then we're going to get into the heavy hitting news topics, the good news of the world, the great, um, things happening around the globe, um, and these

beautiful modern times. Um, and yeah, I've got some, I got, I have a fun segment today. I, I never, I never really curate like stupid videos for us to listen to together. I mean, you're probably, you're probably listening. I'm assuming most of you listen. I mostly, so the only time I watch a podcast is if I'm eating and it happens to be a video podcast that I can watch on Spotify video, um, which by the way, you can do that on my podcast or with my podcast. I am on Spotify video. I'm on YouTube. You can sit down and hang out with me there. Um, and, and then, and then also we're going to go behind the scenes right now, mid sentence, mid thought. Okay. And by the way, I'll get back to what I was just saying about this stupid video curation, because I always

remember what I was talking about somehow. I'm mid sentence, mid thought, like you're better than this. You just read 15 quotes from about, um, or from Kobe Bryant on the Kobe Bryant Instagram page you follow. I almost want to pull it up and remind myself that this is the kind of energy I actually need to bring. Um, if I really want to weed out these hoes on the top charts. Okay. Um, yeah, here we go. So I'm, I'm basically saying I want to delete this intro, start over, redo this because I I'm, I'm better than this. I'm better than this. Okay. I'm more, I should be more disciplined than this. I should dig deeper, find it within me to say, fuck the baby drink half a Celsius. Okay. That's what it's going to take for you to

weed or not weed these hoes out. Ho these weeds, by the way, I need to weed my backyard this weekend. Okay. That's also on the list, the to-do list items. Um, what am I saying? Crowd these bitches out of the top charts. Okay. This is the kind of vibe I need to bring kobe bryant quotes here on the kobe highlight I should be wearing my lakers hat today. Um instagram page. I can't relate to lazy people. We don't speak the same language I don't understand you. I don't want to understand you So i'm imagining kobe bryant telling me that about starting the episode off Being like I just woke up from a nap. It's a friday afternoon. I'm fat and tired and pregnant

you guys so the pregnancy thing is like not the the um it's not my personality on the podcast it's not my brand it's not my like that's not what you're getting here you're not getting mommy content or future mama content I do talk about it and I say I talk about it in a facetious way because it's a new chapter I'm a first-time mom a mom-to-be and like I am I officially popped I officially popped and I don't, I just don't love it being uncomfortable in my skin. Meaning like nothing fits. Not that I don't think I'm beautiful and my body is beautiful and I'm creating life and all of that wonderful stuff. Of course I think that, but I am so like, I can't, it's only going to get worse from here and I'm already uncomfortable and I'm not even that large

yet. So anyways, I started the episode out complaining. Kobe Bryant, back to the quotes. A lion has to eat. Run with me or run from me. My brain, it cannot process failure. It will not process failure. The moment you give up is the moment you let someone else win. Let's jazz this up. Podcasting on a Friday afternoon. Okay. You guys let's have fun. Like this is not how I want to do it. Okay. Kobe, Kobe just, uh, hype me up a little bit. So, um, we don't quit. We don't coward. We don't run. We endure and we conquer. If you're afraid to fail, then you're probably going to fail. Fuck. Yeah. Hard work outweighs talent every time. It's not a destination. It's the journey. Okay. Yeah. All right. So fuck. Yeah. Kobe Bryant, everyone rest in peace.

Speaking of Kobe Bryant, and we will get to the thought I was having about curating stupid videos for us to listen and watch together. Um, I'm really, I'm really fucking sad about Oliver twist. I'm so tired of going down on Cavendish I know it's Oliver Tree but I had to just get out what I immediately thought which was Oliver Twist um I miss Oliver Tree I am so sad about him and I'm saying this because I was just talking about Kobe Bryant you all know they unfortunately both died in a helicopter crash if you didn't know that Oliver Tree unfortunately just passed away. And, um, was it Argentina or where was it? Brazil? Um, in a, in a really awful helicopter crash. And I'm getting served all of these amazing

interviews of him. And I just like, I had a phase of, um, an H3 podcast phase where that's where, and that's where I was first introduced to Oliver tree. And I was listening to their, their show all the time listen to every interview when he was on I listened to a few other shows when he would get interviewed and I'm just like damn it you know like what a what a beautiful soul an amazing just an amazing human being one of a kind like I I loved his I just loved everything about him I have nothing negative I don't think anyone could say something can say anything negative about him. I mean, he, yeah, it's just, it really makes me sad because I'm getting all of these videos now. It's like what I've taught. Okay. So this pregnancy, we will talk about it

has been, uh, an emotional roller coaster. I told you that I'm, uh, I'm a masochist in, in the way that I, I can do this. I, I intentionally seek, seek out sad content on my social media. So the algorithm feeds me sad videos that make me cry because I'm like, I think it feels really good to cry right now. It feels extra good to cry. Now that I'm knocked up, I don't know. You know what I mean? It's a new thing. It's kind of like how laughing feels so good. Crying right now feels so good. So I'm seeking out sad content and I'm double tapping it. So I keep getting sort of sad content. And this is a lot of dying dog videos. Dogs have already died that their owners doing a montage video of and they're sharing the last moments

of their life. Like this is the last time he went on the lake or rode on the boat on the lake. And this last time we showed him a sunset. And this is the last time, last video of him running towards me at the park after he fetched a ball. And like, so anyways, now it's like, I'm still crying. And this time it's videos of all of our tree. Um, and it's just, I can't stop crying. I can't stop crying. Um, what's making me laugh right now? How can I lighten this up? I mean, what is making me laugh right now? Um, not much, not much to be honest. I am a, I'm not depressed. You guys, I'm just like, no, what's actually making me laugh. Come on back to the tangent. I was on that. I got off of these stupid videos, uh, the degenerates of, of the United States of America

videos that, um, have been served to me on my Instagram reels, uh, doom scroll. So I've been on Tik TOK forever. Like that's, that's where I normally do them scroll. If I'm watching videos, not reels, my reels algorithm is diabolical and we're going to play some videos as like a nice palate cleanser. This will be after a segment, um, where I read a CBS article and then I yell at you. Okay. So we're reading a CBS article today. So life updates, reading a CBS article, I'm going to yell at you. Um, I have a theory and I'm going to yell at you. It's going to be fun. And then we're going to do the stupid fucking videos, the degenerates of the United States of America videos. Um, you know, we'll watch those. There's like a psych ward lady, um,

who scrapbooked everything in the psych ward. There's a lot of like chicks with multiple kids, single moms, um, with multiple baby dot, like, it's just a fun time. So we're gonna, there's also like a finance bro that reminds me of one of my exes. And I, and I just, uh, I have so many, I have so many comments on these videos. I want to save them until we watch them. And then we're going to do, um, some news, some other, the CBS article is like a little piece of news, but it ties into a life update. So we'll kind of clump that together. And then I have news. Um, and I'm going to call instead of yelling at you, I'm going to call people out. Um,

and I'm going to shame them. So it's like, I'm still yelling. Basically, I guess what I do here And, you know, I make clips for Instagram and Tik TOK and YouTube. And I, I find that like my cadence, my rhythm, my vibe, the sauce I serve to the people to promote my podcast is just me yelling at the camera and me screaming at everyone. Like that's, that's what I do here. And if you look back, like, it's so funny because if you look all the way back to 2020, like fat blonde Jacqueline, why do I just say fat? Like so nonchalantly, like, you know, I have nothing to prove. I always said that when I was on Ozempic or what was I on? Terzepatide. I don't think they had the RETA when I was on the Terzep. That's like a new thing that has like way more powers

than the Terzepatide and the Ozempic or the, what's the other one? Terzepatide, semaglutide, RETA-trutide. But yeah, at the time when I was on it, this was all of 2025. I was like, I have nothing to prove. I work out every day, eat healthy and fit. So like I've oscillated, right? Like I've been fat and skinny. I've been super lean and like ripped and I've been pregnant. So I'm just like, I let my gums flap about, uh, my body. I was fat and blonde when I started this podcast, deep in a deep, dark depression, deepest, darkest depression in my life. Of course it was during 2020. Okay. It was on unemployment. Life was hell. But at the time I was, when I was podcasting, um, seven days a week, yeah, I would get on here every single day

with fucking sunglasses. Like I am now to the sunglasses on a podcast as a podcast host. Um, and I think clavicular would agree with us. This is a looks maxing thing. Like you just look like, you know what you're talking about when you wear sunglasses on a podcast. And, um, anyways, I've been doing this since day one. So yeah, I'm constantly yelling though. Like, and then I then I watch like podcast clips of like Sammy Clark she's like a sweetheart we have the same birthday by the way we're the same age she's like the complete opposite of me like vibe wise I guess personality wise and it's just so like she was like talking to a therapist and she's like I didn't think I knew deep down it was like I knew I what I wanted but I was

blocking myself from receiving it because I didn't want people to think that I was selfish and so I always played things down and and and meanwhile I was you know I was you know not being true to who I was and after journaling about this it's just like that kind of stuff I'm like I mean we go deep on here but it's like deep in a like therapy deep but not in a I don't think I could sincerely speak that way if I try or like like a heart like I don't think I could have a heart-to-heart with you about something personal without like joking the entire fucking time. Like I don't have that. It's a cope thing. That's how I cope, whatever. Um, I mean, I have said like the most vulnerable stuff on here. I've been super serious,

but the end of the sentences or the end of the segment of me being like, yeah, I had a 10 year long eating disorder and my dad told me I was fat. That wasn't why that was a piece of the puzzle for sure. Um, and then i like end that with i don't know some stupid fucking thing i you know all right this is all over the place happy friday um yeah okay so plugs let's do it please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google podcast stitcher breaker overcast wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and review the show five stars while you're there hi hi four star

spotify review let's get it to five stars hi is she controversial is she a mean evil person why does she not have five stars i wonder why you know it's probably good for probably peaks people's curiosity when you have a like a four star review versus a five star review it's like hmm what is it about her and what she talks about that would make people go, fuck this bitch. I'm not going to give her a five-star review. You know what I mean? Like that actually might be better for acquiring new listeners. Anyways, you can subscribe to the Spotify, Apple, Stitcher, wherever you listen to podcasts and review the show five stars while you're there. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Jacqueline Rowe. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. This is a video

and audio podcast. Hi, YouTube. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. And finally, if you want to support the show, patreon.com slash TJMS, patreon.com slash TJMS. It's my little subscription service, my little tip jar. Go check it out. It's $5 a month. Patreon.com slash TJMS. all right i'm gonna set the scene i told you about the outfit and the makeup um the drinks we have water in a stanley cup a lemon spindrift and a cat i just i'm and no caffeine coke zero is this a coke zero yeah and um a cheese stick as the snack in case i have a low blood sugar dip and i need to eat something because my child is starving um on his amniotic fluid or it's not he's not getting enough nutrients through the placenta or whatever however

the fuck it works and he needs a cheese stick okay this might be happening like i might be eating on this might become a mukbang a mukbang at some point I do have a cheese stick on board should I get a baby on board I'm gonna just mommy blog the fuck out of this episode and tell you everything because at this point that is my actual life that's my real life you know what I mean like that's actually what I'm dealing with right now I um sorry it's the hormones you can get away with murder when you're pregnant it's so fun but like um what was I saying the cheese stick the baby getting hungry um I have no idea the motto of last week's episode was get liquid and stay loose I feel like yeah we're gonna do

that again today get liquid and stay loose keep it fun keep it light I will be yelling a lot but we're going to, we're going to keep it light. Okay. So what did I do today? It's Friday. Okay. I, um, I went to the gym. How can I be more sweetie pie? Okay. So hi, it's Friday. What did I do today? Let me set this scene, tell you about my day. Um, what's going on in my life. So I went to the gym and I did a heavy leg day. Um, it's Friday. Sometimes I don't really have specific days that I do certain workouts on, I, I just vibe it out. Okay. And especially when you're pregnant, it's like, you don't want to push it and take the 6am spin class when you were up peeing every hour of the night that night before the 6am spin class. Um, that actually hasn't been

happening to happening to me as much recently as it did in the first trimester. I don't know, like, I don't know what's going on. Anyways. Um, heavy leg day today. I am back squatting 225 pounds with ease. That's my fucking warmup. Okay. I'm not going above 225 cause I'm not, I don't want my cervix to, to, to explode. Um, I know that wouldn't happen, but like, Like this is a pregnancy episode. I don't, you guys, I love you. Hi. I always, I'm, this is my new thing. I'm feeling more empathetic, more emotional. I'm crying more. I am so connected to people in a way that I've never felt before. Um, I, I, I just love you. Thank you for being here. I consider you a close friend. I consider you, um, yeah, we're, I consider that we're in

an intimate relationship right now and I can tell you anything. Okay. That's why I do this. Um, this is, this is supplementing friendship for me and this is supplementing, um, or helping my, the loan. This is how I feel less lonely. Okay. It's building a virtual community for myself with strangers. I do not know. Um, while they know everything about me because I overshare and I have no filter and I you know when people start a podcast like the first fucking line about when they promote the podcast is always there's uh we're not holding back we don't have a filter and we don't care it's like you know it's like one of those slogans it's like everyone does that on a podcast but they always have to disclose it like unfiltered

we share our opinions and we don't care what you think and uh But I really like this when you're listening to me, it's a phone call you're sitting on the couch in front of me You're on the phone on the couch in front of me we're talking on the phone 10 feet away you're on the couch No, it's like you're hanging out with me, right? Like I'm telling you everything like close like I would a close personal friend so Yeah, we're gonna just

we're gonna just talk about my cervix cervix blasting open from over from squatting over 225 pounds we're gonna just use the terminology the pregnancy terminology because it's relevant to my life right now and um cool so heavy leg day i uh what did i do yeah squatting hip thrusting abduction, hack squat, like kind of hamstring work. Um, yeah, like I'm, I'm, I'm stronger than I've ever been. Uh, hold on. I woke up from my nap and drink half a diet Coke and I didn't drink water after my nap and I know that's bad. Okay. So yeah, I'm like super strong right now. I'm like heavier, obviously physically heavier. So I just feel like there's, I have more when I lift. So it's been nice. Okay. Um, so that's what I did

this morning. What am I eating? Like, do you guys want to know what I'm eating? I'm having like a banana and a protein shake before the gym, a little caffeine, a little, a little iced coffee and that protein shake coming home, eating like four eggs, uh, avocado, a little cottage cheese, a little pumpkin seed, a little, my actual, like if there is something I'm eating constantly right now. It's, it's so funny how I'm like, you know, this is what I'm going to pick out as the thing I ate during my first pregnancy, this medium, uh, chunky salsa, just like regular, like 365 brand or like sprouts brand, whatever, you know, whatever grocery store you're shopping at. Uh, just like they're just like jarred medium salsa, but like, it is so good on everything.

like on specifically Mexican themed dishes. So, you know, it goes good with that, the eggs and avocado with a pumpkin seed, a little cilantro, a little cottage cheese dollop, you know, it's like a breakfast bowl vibe. Then you add a little salsa and then the hot sauce just adds like a, especially when it's cold out of the fridge, I keep it cold in the fridge. I guess that's where you keep salsa, right? Like, I don't know. Um, but yeah, that's what I'm eating eating and then, um, oh my gosh. And then just like so many peaches right now. It's, oh my gosh, you guys, if you didn't know this, it's, it's stone fruit season and you need to get with it. I am eating four peaches a day, a bag of cherries a day, um, nectarines, uh, apricots.

Oh my God. Like I cannot get enough stone fruit in my body at this time. I am eating the shit out of peaches over my sink like if you're not eating a peach over your sink right now while it is just dripping and god forbid you're wearing a long sleeve like I am right now and it's just dripping down your forearm like all the way down to your elbow like in your shirt down your chin down your neck like if you're not just like balls deep in a peach your face fucking like you're not stop buying bananas oranges and apples get the stone fruit in your fridge set it out on the counter until it ripens and then put it in the fridge the fridge will delay the ripening process i learned this when i was vegan okay that's how you slow the ripening

process down a fruit put it in the fridge i am so obsessed with stone fruit right now to the point where I gave my dogs like I will do I will I don't care like I don't I black out when I eat peaches right now okay I gave my dogs god they're so spoiled they had they had their fresh nom nom dog food lamb pilaf by the way that is their dog food their fresh dog food um this week where there's like chicken ones and beef ones, but the ones I've picked out are mostly lamb. Okay. They're getting lamb, a lamb pilaf, pilaf, a raw egg, a little dollop of plain Greek yogurt, glucosamine chews with like MSM, whatever that is. It's good for their hips, I think. and like hemp seed. Oh, frozen blueberries, little dollop of frozen blueberries.

And then a half a can of plain, like in water sardines. Sometimes I add a dollop of pumpkin instead of the dollop of, of Greek yogurt. I looked at my, so my golden retriever is turning six and my bulldog is going to turn five and something, I think it's the the emotions the hormones the watching the dog the dying dog videos recently I am like how can I optimize their health so they live and until they're 100 okay like I'm just adding in toppers little things to boost their nutrition on top of the lamb pilaf that's already amazing and good for them and is good enough okay I give them like half a can of sardines today and um, you know, mama's got to eat breakfast. So I, I dump, the thing is, is I dump the juices of the

sardine can down the, the drain of the sink. And then I put it on their food on the top of their bowls. And then, um, I like rinse it out and then I throw it away and I kind of hide the can in the garbage as best I can. So it doesn't stink. Okay. It's fun. It's also, I can smell like a malinois like what's like the best smelling what like a bloodhound a police dog like the dogs that sniff the for the bombs and the the drugs like my pregnancy nose is unbelievably uh good at i smell everything so but but but i want a peach right but i'm eating this fucking peach over my sink right now. Cause I want it right now. You guys, I'm like inhaling the smell of sardines down from the bottom of my, in my, from my garbage disposal. Okay. As I'm eating this peach

in a full blackout. And it's kind of like when, you know, when you have to like change where the pain goes, when you're going through something painful, you're like, I'm going to focus on this thing instead of the pain. Right. So it's like, while you're getting, I imagine like if I got my leg blown off, I would probably like punch my arm really hard to change the direction of where the pain is. Do you know what I mean? So like I'm inhaling the scent of sardines, which is the worst smell you can smell, like the worst smell you can smell fish. Are you kidding me? Like the scent of like sardines and a lot of a lot of a lot of white women right now I think it's a white woman thing it could just be women or no just like suburban housewives like myself okay they're

eating a lot of sardines this summer they're making these like hey like I'm in Italy plates but they're you know in the suburbs of god knows where in America like they're making a lot of sardine crackers with like a little sardine maybe they put a little like sesame oil and soy sauce in the sardine to make it like taste more appetizing. I don't know. It's like a sardine summer right now. Um, people are getting like sardine merch. There's a lot of like little fish merch. It started last year, but it's really carried over into 2026. Summer 2026 is officially here. The bitches are eating sardines. So nothing stinks worse than a sardine. Okay. And, um, I'm like face deep in this peach, the best peach I've ever had in my life. It was organic. I don't know

if that matters, but it was amazing. Right. I'm like, it's so big. It was the size of my size, my like fist. And, um, I'm like, like focusing on the taste of the peach and not the fact that I'm smelling sardines. And it worked, honestly, I was so focused on it and it was dripping everywhere. And then I kind of went over to the garbage can, which garbage can, which is next to the sink. It's like the best invention ever or design invention, interior design invention is having a garbage that pulls out right next to your like sink and like your oven and where you prep food so you can just like dump it right in so we have this like little triangle system here where i have a sink the countertop where i prep food and the oven or the stovetop whatever oven

we have a twofer we have an oven and a stovetop in one okay i think most people do it's not what do you call it an oven and then you have the the garbage right kitty corner so just pull it out like chopping onions you want to get rid of the little corners of the onion before you finish chopping it right in the garbage so anyways I move over to the garbage as I'm eating this peach thinking like I'm gonna let it keep dripping and like I'm gonna finish this off over the garbage and then I'm like fuck me the sardine can is in there so everything was fucked and then it was also like the scent, the lavender fresh scent of the garbage bag. We get the, what garbage bags do we buy? Hefty? No. Does like Clorox make garbage bags? What am I thinking of? It's like

the yellow box. Lysol? Who makes garbage? I have to look this up. Garbage bags. Hefty? Garbage bags. how are you doing? I hope you're enjoying this fucking story time because I have nothing else to give. Honestly, I've never Google images. Glad, glad force flex in the gain for breeze. Hey, let's fuck up our, our, uh, let's poison ourselves when we take out the trash with this scent of just cancer a fresh can't it's like it's like a fresh lavender cancer scent that you as you're inhaling it when you put something in the garbage you're like I know like I'm breathing this in and I know I shouldn't be like I know that I'm not this is not if I had to breathe this in a room for 24 hours I would develop a tumor I would or I just knocked it so anyways I ate a peach over

the sink. And, um, it was the best thing ever. And it's stone fruit season. If you're not eating stone fruit right now, you need to get with it. Um, I love fruit. I can't say enough good things about fruit. So that's what I, that's what I've been eating. Okay. Um, I do have this cheese stick. What was I going to say? Oh, speaking of inhaling things that smell like you're going to get cancer when you smell, inhale it. And like, I'm not supposed to be doing this right now. You guys, I should be chemical free. I should be like non-toxic crunchy mama, like no chemicals, fragrance free, no dyes, no parabens, no, none of that. Okay. It's hard. It's fucking hard out here. It's 2026 and I can't, it's hard to be perfect. Okay. I am

back squatting 225 pounds. I don't know what other mamas to be are doing that. And like, I feel like that's, you know, we're building the quads in the womb right now and he's getting stacked and it's, it's like, we're balancing it out. We've got the, the chemical, the Febreze chemicals or the Febreze scented chemical scented chemical infused glad garbage bags on deck. And we're inhaling that, but we're also squatting back squatting 225 pounds. You know what I mean? We're balancing it out. I think the one outweighs the other and I'm not concerned. Okay. Let me take a sip of this diet Coke. this kid is gonna love fucking diet coke i saw olivia colpo she's also a child

she's on her second she's like not drinking diet coke she's like this studies just terrify me and i'm like what fucking studies am i not reading i'm spending too much time researching the new duna x the new strollers the bugaboos the uppa babies the fucking what are they called? The, the Nuna's and not enough time researching. Like, am I poisoning? What things should I not eat and drink that are poisoning my child? I'm just relying on the placenta. I'm like, Hey, it's a filter. It's God's filter. Okay. It's keeping it's block. It's blocking the things from the child that it's not supposed to get. Um, and this is why it's so bullshit that people eat their placenta. What the hell? That's a, that's like a garbage disposal.

You're ingesting. That's your body gets rid of it for a reason. Like you birth your child and you birth your placenta. You're not supposed to be eating that placenta after you birth it. The body's like, I don't want this in me. So why would you put it back in? I did research that anyways. Um, okay. So it's Amazon prime week, like whatever. I don't care. Is it over? It was like a two-day thing right I just bought a bunch of vitamins that were on sale and like oh oh the scent thing I I got this carpet and arm and hammer baking soda carpet refresher that you sprinkle on your carpet before you vacuum you leave it for 15 minutes then you vacuum it up I've gotten it before but I don't remember it smelling this strong obviously I can smell better than I ever

have in my life. Maybe that's why I'm like, I, I should not be, I can't, I shouldn't be in my home right now smelling this like this. It is so perfumey and strong and it's just like they're fresh scent. It's nothing like floral or, or crazy. It's just like a fresh, like, I don't know, like crisp, like ocean air. I don't know, like a simple scent, but, um, yeah, never again. Like it's so bad. And I felt bad having the dogs, like letting the dog sleep in the house last night. I'm like, I know. Cause their noses are 10 times stronger than mine. I know they're probably like pissed off about this scent anyways. Okay. Amazon prime week. Oh, speaking of the dogs life update, I'm getting hot. Do I need to text Corey to put the AC on? Because I don't want the

app. I just got a new iPhone by the way. Um, I don't want to get up. I think I'm going to use the power of, of technology right now to get my air conditioning on without me getting off my fat ass. Okay. Can you, he might've turned it off. Can you turn on the AC? Um, he always thinks I mess with it and I like, don't touch it. I don't know. I think it has a mind of its own. Like sometimes it'll just like, I don't know. It's the lights. The lights are hot. We're in the thick a summer. It's, I forget that like June is summer, like end of June is summer, but it doesn't feel to me. July is summer June. Well, June, July, August, I live in San Diego. So it's a little blurry anyways, but, um, okay. So

it's a hot flasher. I don't know what this is. Um, i'm not looking forward to that like that what what a what a bullshit thing fucking hot flashes like we just go through it you're like 12 you get your period how old was i 14 get your period and you're just like dealing with that forever and then you're like pregnant you're just like your hair is like i don't know like what's pre that era and you're like having a douche or I don't know fuck you're like cleaning yourself out all the time because you're getting I don't know you're like dealing with like fluids in your 20s I don't know and then um then you're pregnant and then it's like there's more fluids because that's a

thing they don't tell you and then it's like um oh and then you you're just like getting huge and then uh oh nursing will be a thing all this shit and then it's like oh perimenopause perimenopause and then then hot flashes menopause your body fat percentage won't go down because your body's holding on because you're going through menopause it's just like fucked you know what i mean it's so fucked thank god for honestly thank god for ozempic like thank god i shit on ai a lot which is something that i actively use every single day and i i compared tech bros to hitler's nazi regime last week but like it's honestly like the greatest thing ever you know what i mean like Oh, he just turned it on. He said done. So if there's a light hum in the background,

it's my air conditioning unit. And I do have a fan on for Jimmy, a low fan on for him because he, um, he jumps up on our bed and he gets hot and I put the fan on and then, and then he's happy. Um, yeah, thank God we have, you know, Ozempic. Okay. how am I doing in the camera I'm not wearing okay I'm wearing like glasses and they're kind of like yellow I don't know I just did like brows a lip no mascara no eye makeup but I did my makeup so heavy where I know I'm gonna get asked at 5 30 when he comes home he's gonna be like where can I take you out to dinner my love my sweet love like are you feeling like tacos tonight are you feeling like Italian I just want to take my honey out to dinner he always this is like a Friday

night thing it's like it's just like fuck yeah you know living the dream a dream is a wish but I did my makeup with the with a thought that I'm gonna probably be in public with this makeup makeup on in a few hours but yeah I don't know however I'm just feeling uncomfortable in my body. Like sometimes I'm just like, I just want to be naked. Like, okay. I got so uncomfortable the other day where I literally just stripped naked and laid on the floor. And I was like on my side. Cause you're not supposed to lay on your stomach or your back. Okay. It's like a thing. You're not, you know? So, Oh, I had a, I had a weird thing on my back where I was like, I had to Google after the weird sensation I was having. Are you supposed to lay on your back when

you're pregnant. It's like, no. Okay. Lesson learned. I just get like, I want to rip my skin off. I get so mad about how like big I'm getting. It's like uncomfortability. Like I just, and I have sensory issues with clothing. So that was a pre-pregnancy thing. Like I already am annoyed with clothes already. Like can't wear certain fabrics. I don't like, like stiff anything. like I it makes my skin crawl but this is on another level especially because like I'm fighting a stomach now where the low rise is like the only way right now but I some of my high rise stuff still works but if I wear it high rise it goes low rise anyways you guys story time let's keep moving life updates so um i just thought this this was this is like gross but um i was mentioning

the dogs earlier um what was i talking about the oh the fan for jimmy and um fucking louis our little english bulldog gets chin acne like he'll get a little like pimple on the bottom of his chin and as you know we co-sleep with our bulldog we've been doing this for like six months he sleeps sleeps through the night he doesn't disturb us um it's the only way that we guarantee or we can yeah pretty much guarantee that we won't wake up to a shit and a piss on the carpet so um it keeps that in in check and that's kind of why we put up with him sleeping with us all night not that we don't love it it's just we've i put two and two together i go okay when he sleeps with us there's never shit on the carpet and by the way he's almost five and by the way show me a

bulldog that is almost five that doesn't continue to shit all over the house whenever he wants does whatever he wants I have never met a disciplined bulldog like I've never I want to see it like I want to see a Malinois police dog level like well do whatever you say in this the second you say it I want to see an English bulldog that does that I need to I should probably look that up and research it because I'm telling you they are the most stubborn breed obviously they're notorious for that but um it's like so he sleeps with us anyways he gets pimples on his chin and the other night um you know blood is not a good sign right now blood on the sheets for me that's a that's that's a red flag like we got it that's a code red we were like oh why is

Jacqueline bleeding that's not good okay blood is not good right now no no okay he fucking oh my god I can just I just remember waking up to this being like what the fuck is our life so we wake up to blood on the sheets and he goes low in the like he burrows right and it's it was kind of in the area of the sheets and we have these white bowl and branch like crisp white sheets I'm like a white sheet person I love crisp white sheets um anyways it was in the location of where you know if I was to bleed out the blood would be right like that's where the blood stain was and it's because he sleeps like down low towards our legs and he likes to be warm and he burrows and I'm like what the fuck is this blood like I'm like am I good I

realize I'm good like obviously I'm good and um okay his fucking pimple he he smashed his head so hard while he was sleeping into the sheets that he popped his own pimple and it gushed blood everywhere because he we woke up and his chin was all bloody and we're like it's not like he was scratching it and like caused that to happen we probably would have realized that because Corey wakes up at anything like he's immediately awake I'm I could sleep through oh I have a story time I could sleep through anything like I don't wake up it's it's bad um yeah the other day we hung up this like 500 pound mirror I have no idea how much it weighs and we went through the drywall like a bunch of amateurs. And we were just so excited to hang this mirror. We finally found

a mirror for our living room that we love. And we were like, oh yeah, we'll do these like drywall anchor things first. And we'll just, you know, that motherfucker crashed down within an hour. Okay. And this was like a Saturday. And of course I took a nap on a Saturday afternoon, right? Like, you know, we got this mirror, we hung it up and I'm like, time for a nap. And it is a heavy ass mirror. It's huge. And I did my 20 minute power nap and I woke up to, I didn't wake up to the sound of this crashing down and the dogs barking. I didn't know that happened. Okay. By the way, this was a 20 minute power nap. This wasn't like a two hour comatose, like I'm knocked out type of nap. And I get up and I'm like, hi honey. And he's like vacuuming

debris, like drywall that came out. And he's like, honey, can you get the, can you get the, what do you call it? The, um, what's it called? The magic eraser. And like, can you work on these little spots on the wall and the mirror fell okay he's like yeah the mirror crashed down like boom boom like boom and then the dogs were barking and you slept through it and i'm like yeah i am the fucking grandma in um christmas vacation when they all come over to clark's house um or clark and what's his wife's name in that movie they come over for christmas the in-laws come over and there's the old grandpa man with the toupee and the wife who sings the national anthem when they ask her to say a prayer you're probably familiar with this scene but the scene that I'm

referring to when I this is who this is how I identify as someone as a sleeper okay the old woman and the old man the grandparents I'm guessing Gregory I don't know they walked it was it like aunt bethany it was aunt bethany i'm aunt bethany okay so they walk through the front door to greet everyone and they're saying hello they're coming over for christmas and aunt bethany is just in outer space she has no idea that clark's like hi aunt bethany great to see you the husband of hers is like she couldn't hear a dump truck drive through a natural glycerin plant or whatever and that visual of like an explosion and her not hearing that's me okay like I just I sleep through anything um you know this is a god when my husband travels for for not for he doesn't

really travel for work but like goes away on the weekend and he's not here and you want to rob me great time to rob me if you know my husband's on vacation because I'm not hearing shit it's a safety concern I have with myself and I'm not you guys how the fuck am I going to get through the night feeds and like waking up when I hear a baby cry I think that instinct instinctually just kicks in I'm not you guys I'm being funny but like it does cross my mind it does cross my mind I sleep so hard and that was a power nap okay so yeah his acne his chin acne bled all over the sheets life update. Okay. We have two other updates and then we'll get into the CBS article. So, Oh, and we haven't talked about them in like weeks. You guys neighbor update. Okay.

This is what's going on in the neighborhood. If you're new here, I'm a semi new homeowner. we've been here for two almost two and a half years um cory and i and we have a lovely neighborhood i just say i just i didn't know what i didn't know i didn't know this this existed until we toured this house but i'm like this is the best neighborhood in san diego period and like i love our neighborhood it's like out of a fucking movie it's sometimes i'm like this is like i know i deserve this and like this is like a good like i deserve like a safe beautiful neighborhood that has like cool people in it and like fun couples and cute families like at the park like i don't know like it's like i know i this is but sometimes i'm like it's almost too nice like

that's the type of neighborhood i live in okay hashtag bless hashtag like love uh thank you god like whatever gratitude shout out to the lord um but yeah this neighborhood's very pinched me like we really got lucky like not a lot of homes go up for sale around here and we got really lucky so anyways with that being said i've i've made our number one enemy number one enemy on the show i declared earlier this year can't believe we're halfway through the year I mean public no public enemy the number one enemy of the show like if you're listening to the show and you're like who do who do we hate and we have to we have to pick one person or entity or thing to hate and by the way I have a things we love list and things we hate list

I should I should refer back to it and I should I should update you guys on things I've added because I'm constantly adding things. The number one, the number one people we hate are people that don't take care of and landscape and mow their front lawns. And they just let it, let it get waist deep. Okay. They not, not only, okay. So my neighbors re remodeled their house or no did a full what do you call it ground up build ground up there's like terms in the development world it's like a ground up project they they tore their whole house down they rebuilt it then they left like one wall up because if you do that there's like a that's like a loophole where you don't have to do like a certain I don't know is that like a coding thing

what do you call it like um I don't know is that like for taxes I don't fucking know what's that called uh anyways full like teardown rebuild you know beautiful home brand new everything and then they move in like eight months ago and then they're just like we're done we're done like oh these the whole front yard is like a construction zone like weeds are just growing over the dirt where the construction workers were like putting down you know two by fours and like drywall shit I don't know like all the materials they were using their front lawn to like put stuff on so they just moved in and just said okay we're done it's like wipe our hands we're done and it's a fucking nightmare because we it's just not the vibe in this neighborhood

right and so update on there there's like a new update okay and if I could describe these people it's like yes they're nice like of course they're nice people like I have nothing negative to say about about them besides the the lawn thing and we'll get to the other thing that I that's a new identification uh new something another uh bet Corey and I get to get that we've made about something regarding their home so yeah just like nice people um very like I think they're they work from home they're kind of like bunker people like you don't really ever see them come out and do anything outside like they're just kind of like in the bunker and then they they go to the car. And I think they like drop their kid off at school every morning. Sometimes I see the dad do

that. And then they come back inside, but like very homely. Okay. I'm just going to be honest, like very fucking homely. I think they're school teachers. I don't know. I don't want to like say too much. I don't know how thick our walls are right now, but like, I'm pretty sure they can like hear me. Like, I do know how thick our walls are. We're pretty, we're pretty, uh, what am I saying? They can't hear me. I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I would tell this, say this to their face. And by the way, they've apologized about their lawn. So they know they know they know it's a problem the latest update okay so by the way they ended up mowing it or like weed whacking it I did an update on that like a month or so ago but they left a weed

that was by their front window that happened to have flowers on it so they left that one weed to be a decor piece in their front yard so like weed whacked the weeds it's not they didn't plant seed they didn't put sod down none of that they just it just weed whacked the weeds and then um left the one pretty weed to decorate the the front fucking window area with okay that has like orange little weed flowers growing out of it it's not it's not a beautiful plant it's not a it's not a it's not a sculptural beautiful it sucks okay and it's a it's a fucking weed okay clearly it's a weed. They kept it. It's still there growing. It's not flowering anymore. Now it's just a green shitty looking weed. Okay. The latest thing. And now I'm, and I'm, now I want to

check in on the mental health. Okay. I want to be considerate of that because now what's going on is, um, and it's funny, I'm going to say this because when I grew up, it was very common. suburban yeah this is how you know you've become you're you're you're bougie like this is how you know you've become a bougie bitch okay this is how you know you are a snooty suburban bitch who is better than better than their neighbors and is above this shit okay this is how you know because this is not how you grew up this is not how you grew up when I grew up out in farmland I would never bat an eye at seeing cow shit stuck to the side of a work truck at my neighbor's house like I would never even flinch at that okay that wouldn't even cross

that was just that's that's just what it was just cow shit stuck to everything when you live next to dairy farms. Okay. Yeah. Cars driving by with manure was a common occurrence when I grew up in farm around the farmland next to dairy farms. Okay. So now I live in the suburbs of America. I'm in a nice neighborhood in Southern California. Okay. That was up in Washington, in the Northwest, beautiful town called Mount Vernon, Washington. That's where I'm from. If you didn't know now, now I live in Southern California, I live in San Diego and a beautiful neighborhood. The vibes are just different here. Okay. There is, I don't know where the nearest cow shit infused truck would even be. I feel like that's 200 miles away from where I am right now.

okay so now i have these neighbors that not only don't landscape or mow or take care of their front lawn they're not washing their fucking cars they're not washing their fucking cars sorry and what i mean is they're not seeing they're not and now this has been months this has been I've put it at two months. So it's, it's May and June, May and June, May and June. I saw it in May. Now I'm seeing it in June and it's getting worse. Okay. It's getting worse. They're not washing their cars, which means that the bird shit is just stacking up, stacking up. And when we pull in, I can see their car from where we pull in. I see, I clocked the bird shit on the side of the

car. And I'm just like, okay, they don't mow their lawn. They don't clean their cars. If there is bird shit on my car, I'm out there with a rag. The second I notice it, I'm getting a hot dish rag, a hot soapy dish rag. And I'm going over to the fucking car and I'm wiping it off because I take pride in what I own. Okay. I have standards and I'm not a lazy piece of shit okay so when I see the fucking bird shit accumulate for two months at this point it's fun because I'm like Corey how much do you want to bet or like we we say like how you know how much longer like we have a bet going on right now like when do you think they're gonna actually landscape their front lawn and I'm gonna say I already said like I have no hope I've lost hope it's been eight

months right it's been eight months I have no hope but I said I'm not I said I said maybe by by December this year, like end of the year, maybe, but I'm not expecting it. And I think he agrees with me, but the bird shit, I'm like, okay, it's been two months. They haven't gotten their car washed. And I'm telling you, there is like 14 splats of bird shit on the side of their car. It's on like the windshield. Like sometimes it's on the windshield and they obviously they're like using their wipers to like get it off. It's like, go through the carwash. We have these amazing car washes in San Diego where you can just like drive in, you pay like a monthly thing. And then you just, it's like cheap. It's like 20 bucks a month. I don't know. And you just drop,

you can just sit in your fucking car. You don't have to get out of the car and wash it yourself. You can just go through the fucking merry-go-round and get your car washed. It's great. And they hand you a little air freshener, you know, and they have free vacuuming. Usually if you want to actually, you know, do the labor yourself and get your, you know, hands dirty a little bit, Like you can go in there and vacuum your car after, um, cause I'm not expecting them to be the type of people where they would get out and like wipe their car down with those microfibers after the wash, which is what most people with standards and, um, class do. Okay. Um, I'm assuming they'd go through the merry-go-round

and drive right out with the water dripping off their car. Okay. So like, that's a service that is, you know, we have that here, but now it's like the cars it's been two months. I'm literally like okay i don't think they're gonna get this shit washed until i'm gonna i'm maybe thinking like okay august august feels like like that i feel like that would make sense like okay it's been four months like let's get our car so bad the amount of bird shit on this car you guys i want i'm concerned about their mental health because usually when people like let shit go and they're not taking care of their home and their things. And it's like, yeah, it's sad. I mean, I'm being kind of a dick about it, but like, I just can't, I just can't. Um, my, my, uh, what do you call it?

My above my ears hurts from where my sunglasses, I have the intersection of sunglasses for no reason indoors while I'm podcasting of course uh oh no there is a reason because I said like I said earlier it's uh it's a looks max behavior or it's a looks max uh yeah uh choice for podcasting because if you wear sunglasses on your podcast like it's just you look like you know what you're talking about okay and it's more fun and I've always enjoyed wearing them when I podcast Anyways, I have the intersection of like, yeah, of sunglasses, a baseball hat, and my headphones crunching the side of my skull right now. They're all intersecting together and it is not, whew. We're going to talk about rubbing our temples in a bit.

Actually, it's coming up pretty soon here after the CBS article. um okay so speaking of not being very nice when I talk about my neighbors I okay I guess this will be like the deep part of the episode like we'll do what time is it fuck I can get through this I can't it's 3 p.m I've been here for an hour I can do this it's just that I like okay I know it's Friday and he likes to come home early sometimes and I don't want to be like I'm podcasting and it's a three-hour podcast he's like he actually needs to go pick up a doorknob and um what was the other thing like a light or something from Home Depot after work so he he's busy he's he won't come home early um but I'm like do I

want to go down this deep tangent right now it's not even deep it's just like an experience I had where I'm like am I a piece of shit you know like am I do I need to work on myself because I actually saw this Cam Newton quote that or wasn't a quote it was a he was like doing this monologue about it's not how you say it it's not what you say it's how you say it and I was like wait a minute this reminds me of a conversation I just had where I was like am I just do I just have a cunty tone and it makes people think I'm I'm like being like like I find okay so this is what happened we're having a lovely time my mom sister and I and my husband. They came to visit me. It was like the greatest trip, like literally like no issues,

like perfect trip. Um, we had like one hiccup, but like, I'll let that pass. I'm, I'm learning to like pick and choose my battles. Like, what do I want to address and like make a thing. And I think I'm learning to just like, let the storm pass. Right. And just live and let live and choose peace. Okay. So, so it was a great trip. Right. But I found that like, we're having like a fun talk on the couch about like life and just stuff. Right. And I brought up or someone brought up kids, the birth rate. Uh, I don't really know. I don't really know what it was, but I'm just like giving my two cents, right? It's my turn to give my thoughts on it. Um, and you know, the things were thrown around things, things like, um,

your generation is selfish got thrown around like uh I'm not bagging on my mom by the way these are all true things I agree with like I do agree with these things like you know we're a selfish me me me generation we are not we're so obsessed with like feeling good convenience our mental health we don't want to rock the boat and do anything hard we want everything to be like this easy ride because we prioritize ourselves above all else and it's this selfish generation where it's like look at me look at my social media look at my perfect little life and a baby having a child would shake that shit up and derail your life and it'd be like the worst thing ever so it's like a very like that is true like some people are just very selfish

that way and you know I'm I'm a very live and let live person in general like I'm not gonna judge you for like, not everyone is supposed to have kids. And we're going to find that out later when we watch the woman with six kids, who's got six different baby daddies to talk about as she's cleaning her home, fucking make a Tik TOK thing. It's fucking crazy. Okay. So there's that. And then there's also like, you know, in other countries we're all chiming in, right? Everyone's getting in other countries, like they don't have a pot to piss in and they're having six kids and they're, they have smiles on their faces every day and they're the happiest people ever. And it's like, yeah, that's also true. But my, I was bringing the Wall Street Journal article I read

and the fucking free press opinion piece I've read about the birth rate declining. And I'm just going with like, cost of living. It's so expensive. People, I'm like newlyweds, like can't even, like the American dream is, is the standard get married, buy a house, have a couple of kids dream is just get, it's harder and harder. And I just read this other articles because I'm just such a, such a, a bookworm, you know, about, um, you know, if your parents made a hundred grand in the nineties as a salary, that's the equivalent of like 300 grand in 2026. And so for you to live the same lifestyle, that's how much you would have to make today to afford what they could afford in the nineties. So that these are just like facts, data information, right? Like,

so I'm coming with, you know, Oh, the cost of living is clearly crazy. People can barely afford their rent. So they, and they can't even afford, um, they can't even think about buying a home because everything's so expensive. And I brought up like that, um, take on the declining birth rate. Um, we're going to read another article. The CBS article is actually about the declining birth rate. So this is all kind of a package deal right now. We're like, we're like coming out of the life updates right now, we're getting into the, the meat and potatoes of the episode. This is the part where I'm going to kind of like pop off. I think I'm, I'm like feeling like ready to yell, but anyway, so I'm coming with like things I've read. I'm like saying, you know,

bringing up costs. And, and again, it's like, yeah. And I'm also acknowledging like, yeah, even in places where they can't afford much of anything, they're having kids and they're making at work and um you know and for all of time like or you know in the early 1900s it was just like you know the depression era like post-war times like when things were not great like people were still having babies and they figured it out and they weren't like oh we can't afford it you know and I think now our generation I'm acknowledging so the thing I do which is like I like it when other people do this in conversation or not disagreements or debates but yeah you're just having an open discussion is I like to acknowledge the things I agree with so they're not like

oh so what I just said you don't because when I bring up a thought I don't want them to think that I don't agree with anything they just said so I always acknowledge what I agree with and I even bring up more examples that back up what they just said so I'm like so anyway so I find myself like covering bases doing all that and then bringing up my opinion but then I feel like because of my tone of voice people just get defensive and they're just like oh she's coming at us and she's attacking and she's like not and then they just want to like clamp back and I'm just like am I crazy like I'm just like sometimes I'm like wait a minute they're saying their opinion I say mine I acknowledge their opinion I agree with their opinion I'm not saying I don't

agree with your opinion I'm saying yes and can we all just learn to fucking yes and each other in discussions like it's not that we can't it's here's what it is I feel like maybe and I'm acknowledging it might be my tone of voice and my delivery which I could work on I think that is something that is inhibiting people from absorbing my message and my like my point of view, like they're the, the cadence, the rhythm, the tone of voices is like stopping that and it's tracks and the message will never be received just be purely because of the way I talk. Right. So, but sometimes I'm like, okay, this is like the deep part. I just feel like sometimes it's the whole, like not committed to misunderstanding thing. I'm not going to

go like psycho and say that right now but it's like I just sometimes feel like people don't ever want me to be right or if I say something and I'm like factual or backed with something like that I and I come with data or I come with like more information besides just my little stupid opinion it's like fuck her like no she can't like they just can't agree with me about anything it's like it's like not nuanced it has to be like just their way and then anything I say is just completely I find that when I bring up my opinions a lot with certain people I'm just family members fuck it we're you guys are close friends you're like listening my podcast it's like it can't be embraced it has to just immediately be like

no like that's crazy like I always just feel crazy meanwhile I'm the one doing the research reading about this shit for my podcast all the time coming to the internet with articles that I'm sharing learning live on the podcast about like because I want to educate myself I want to I want to understand this stuff better and I find that some sometimes I'm talking people that just go off of vibes like your generation's selfish and period the end like that's why no one's having kids it's like there's obviously more to the story can't we fucking use our brains right now like I'm being serious like I feel crazy sometimes I'm like how am I so then I just shut up and I'm just like okay it's not sometimes I'm like it's not even worth it but I will acknowledge my tone

I will I feel like I get why they do that it's because of my tone because it sounds like I'm debating them but I'm like not does anyone else struggle with this like you're like I mean well I'm not here to like fight debate I just want to like reach across and connect this conversation like keep it going and like add to it and it's all good it's not this thing like I'm not attached to my opinions I'm not they change every day I'm just bringing up my thoughts on it like it doesn't need to be this like there's fundamentally something wrong with you you're flawed like you're I like Dean Withers he when he debates people because he just ramrods

them where they can't even fucking get a word in and he just like like I need to get on that level so that i just don't even let anyone else talk and i just say what it is and then i'm like and because as he talks and debates people he just completely backs it up with facts and research as he's saying what he's saying like he's come there's no you have no room to even debate him because it's there is no debate he's just fact fact fact fact fact fact fact anyways okay so i got a new iphone why did i write that down before the cbs article oh here we go this is the cbs article we've all been waiting for um do i need this piece of cheese now before i read this i feel like i need a bite of this cheese so

intermission okay so america's birth rate has plunged our smartphones to blame this is a new cbs article that came out this month i'm gonna read it and then weigh in okay uh strap on your seatbelts um a decades-long decline in the u.s fertility rate has confounded policymakers and economists alike with experts pointing to possible causes ranging from the economic fallout of the great recession to changing public attitudes about parenthood now one economist is pointing to another factor the iphone huh a new research paper by middlebury college economist caitlin myers found that apple's 2007 introduction of the iphone accounted for 33

percent to 52 percent of the decline in the fertility rate the reasons are rooted in the enormous social impact of putting a powerful new device in people's pockets that not only tether them to the internet but also rewired how we relate to each other or whether we choose to relate at all specifically Myers posits posits poise I've never seen this word Myers posits that many people have turned to their phones as a substitute for in-person interactions that technology makes it easier to view pornography and find information on contraception factors that have weighed on birth rates according to the paper these this is all kind of cliche at this point um obviously phones your attention is on your phone it's not on finding love okay like

it's we're it's changing how we interact with with each other what we are seeing is that the places that have the iphone have big fertility changes relative to the other places myers told cbs news the findings rely on a natural experiment experiment created by the iphone's exclusive distribution through at&t from its rollout in 2007 through 2011 that allowed myers to compare birth rates in u.s countries or in u.s counties with widespread at&t coverage and therefore access to iphones with those in regions with with those in regions with minimal access to the carrier service. Myers told CBS News she wanted to check whether the results might reflect that AT&T's coverage areas, which were focused in urban areas, were harder hit by the 2008

financial crisis. To do that, she ran several statistics checks controlling for economic and demographic factors and found that the iPhone effect remained consistent. I said, wow, but this has to be too big, she recalled. I was like, let me try everything I can to explain away what I'm seeing in the data, and I just couldn't. She added, I'm not surprised that there is an effect. I'm surprised that it stands out so clearly. Not the only factor, the declining U.S. birth rate could also be due to several other factors. Experts trying to explain the trend often cite financial issues such as the high cost of child care and the fact that more women are delaying having children or opting to not start a family. Meanwhile, population growth has been slowing

worldwide for decades in both rich and poor countries, not only in the U.S., according to economists. Myers readily acknowledged that her research suggests that the iPhone only partially explains the drop. We're not saying it's all the iPhone. What we're saying is that it's a really important factor to consider. Over this short period of time, it could explain about a third to half of the decline now that now that leaves about half to two-thirds unexplained the trump administration has encouraged americans to have more children and floated ideas such as a baby bonus for new parents it also has introduced a new tax deferred investment vehicle for u.s children offering federal government contributions of up to a thousand

dollars to eligible kids other countries have also introduced financial incentives to convince people to have more children, yet those efforts have largely failed to move the needle. Even countries that offer generous parental programs, like Norway, have seen birth rates continue to decline over the past two decades. A slow-moving crisis, Myers thinks the drop in birth rates is unlikely to be reversed solely through economic policy, such as tax incentives. And efforts to convince people to spend less time on their phones and more time making social connections in real life have mostly failed to gain traction through more states and are implementing cell phone restrictions for school-age children. The possible link between how Americans use technology and

birth rates has broader economic ramifications. On Tuesday, the Social Security Administration said the federal program is at risk of exhausting its trust fund as soon as 2032. Several factors, including the declining birth rate, are contributing to the approaching funding shortfall, according to the agency. It's a real concern for economic growth to have a population with fertility below replacement levels, Meyer said. We have a system set up where current workers support older retirees. And if we have fewer and fewer current workers, that becomes more and more difficult. Okay, this is my theory about the declining birth rate after reading the CBS article that says that the birth rate decline is directly related to the iPhone and the rollout of the

iPhone in 2007. My solution, I have a theory and a solution. It's, it's a package deal here is that, and I'm speaking to the ladies. This is a girly podcast. If you're a man listening, this is a vice versa situation. You could apply this to yourself as a man. I think, and in general, we get to heal the world by practicing this. I think ladies, you need to touch your man more than you touch your phone. It is asinine that your phone has more fingerprints on it than his dick. Like really think about that. You're in a relationship with a man and your iPhone is getting 1800 little taps a day all over it. Okay. And your man's getting a, Hey, can you pass me my

Stanley cup? Can you refill my Stanley cup? He's not, he's not even getting eye contact by the way, when you're saying this, you're saying it while you're looking at your phone. can you get my stanley cup touch his dick more than like touch your man more than you touch your phone like i'm so passionate about this if the fbi needed your fingerprints they shouldn't have to subpoena your iphone okay they should subpoena that i mean the way this would make my day if i watch this on a court tv live stream or whatever it would go something like this your honor the prosecution would like

to enter exhibit a into evidence and then they point to the man that man's ladies you know every square inch of your iphone okay do you know and have you ever explored every square inch of your man's body ask yourself that question right now okay I'm scooting in have you ever cradled him in your hand turn him sideways swiped up on his nips I don't know have you ever bent him over cracked him wide open and tried to locate his fucking usbc port i bet he would love that i bet he would love that touch your man more than you touch your phone you know everyone's looking for the solution

to the declining birth rate okay you've got tax credits affordable child care a four-day work week free IVF, free Ozempic, free veneers. What else? Testosterone in the drinking water, fucking government sponsored dating coaches or programs. No, no, none of that. No. And it's like, why overcomplicate it? Why do we need all of these things? We don't. it's very simple ladies just touch your man more than you touch your phone okay and again men listening invite you can do the vice versa thing where it could apply to you touch your woman more than touch your like this is not only good for the birth rate it might contribute to more fornication which would obviously produce more offspring for the world

and improve the birth rate okay like you know obviously we can we can put two and two together here. But in general, like this would, this would improve relationships, marriages, families, everything. Okay. Now you might be listening right now as a woman, you're like, I'm single. I don't have a man to touch. Okay. Touch yourself in that case, touch yourself more than you touch your phone. Touch yourself more than you touch your phone. Okay. We'll just switch up the wording here. Rub your temples. Okay. Give yourself a nice foot massage while you're watching Love Island. Okay. And get in there with your, your foot creams. Okay. Do those Russian myofascia release exercises on your face. You know, and, and by the way, if you, I'm just adding this,

by the way if you do that you're gonna look better and you're probably gonna attract a mate and boom birth rate increase boom you look better boom your jowls are gone boom your nasolabial folds are gone boom you boom you don't have any tech necklines anymore boom you look more attractive boom that's gonna attract a mate easier or whatever boom you guys are making babies boom you guys are reversing the declining birth rate boom oh my god now my wheels are spinning this is how we solve obesity without the shot touching your man more than you touch your phone is how we solve obesity without people needing to take ozempic hear me out walk with me okay

um this is the practical application of how to touch your man more than you touch your phone When I say touch your man more than touch your phone, you're going to go over to your iPhone settings. You're going to check that screen time. And on day one, it's going to say eight hours. Okay. It's going to say eight hours. Your average screen time is eight hours. Okay. You're going to look at your husband when he comes home from work. You're going to look at your boyfriend when he comes home from school, or you're going to look at your girlfriend, whatever your wife, and you're going to go, Hey, honey, my screen time is eight hours. do you have methamphetamine because we're gonna be up all night and he's gonna say no because you guys don't do meth obviously and it's gonna be hell okay so to start you're gonna have to put that phone away okay and then you're just gonna have to get in there wrap your arms around him as he's walking to to take his post commute piss after he gets home from work. You're going to be standing outside the door. Maybe you're sitting on his lap while, or no, is he's taking a shit? You're going to be, this is getting way too long-winded.

You're going to, you're going to just be on him like a, like a monkey on its mom's back. Like you're going to be touching your man, obviously more than your phone. Cause you have eight hours. you have eight hours to make up for eight hours of screen time okay and now if this is like i don't know 6 p.m it's gonna be you know get get an early start do this when he comes home from work don't wait till you go to bed because otherwise you're not sleeping okay this is gonna trail into when you go to bed but you know i will i'll give you this you can just get in bed and spoon just connect spoon all night um so no doom scrolling next to each other obviously while you're laying in bed, it'll just be like a nice embrace, a nice spooning sesh, maybe a little bang sesh,

whatever you're into. I did say touch his d*** more than he, what did I say? Put more fingerprints on his d***. You did that, then you put on your phone in those eight hours. That's going to take a long time. You get the point. So then over time, like you're going to be on your phone less. Your screen time average is going to go down. It's going to get down to like six hours. It's going to get down to four hours three hours two hours one hour and then you're now you're finding that you're actually looking at your husband your your wife your girlfriend whatever in the eyes your relationship is stronger than ever and everything is good and you're not an addict this is also how you oh my god not only is this how you solve the declining birth rate

and heal the world. This is how you cure phone addiction and obesity. Because if you're up all night, each other's brains out because you need to touch your man or woman more than you touch your phone. And that is the new plan for your life that you heard here first, right? Like I'm the one leading this. I am the one leading this cause. You're gonna get real skinny. Okay. And you're not going to need the shot. And this is how the world heals. So on that note, I got a new iPhone, the new orange iPhone, and it's lit and I'm definitely touching it more than I touch my man. okay so speaking of the declining birth rate let's move on these are the stupid videos that i had queued up to watch today okay um these are people that are committed to solving the birth

rate at all costs no matter what no matter what the situation is they are they're in it to to win in it to reproduce no matter the situation they are they are making making the babies okay here we go can someone tell me where all my kids fathers are at that is one comment i see over and over and over again underneath my post where are the kids fathers how many baby daddies do you have what do they do for a living are they involved in the kids life so i think it's time i share with y'all where all my kids fathers are each and every one of my kids have different daddies i have three baby daddies in prison serving a life sentence then the other two don't even know about their kids and that's because i didn't know who the baby daddy was so i just decided not to tell

because i didn't want to tell the wrong person that they got a baby on the way and that's not even their baby and finally my sixth baby daddy the one i'm currently pregnant with he has five kids of his own he's married and we live hours away from each other we have to keep our relationship on the down low because he is married but you know what i find so strange for having six baby daddies all of my kids resemble each other and they all look alike you would think giving my kids each their own dad they would come out looking different than each other but all six of my kids look like they got the same daddy so i don't know how that happened but anyways if y'all stayed this long let me go ahead and introduce myself because i know a lot of y'all are judging me by the start of this

video my name is kirsten i am 27 years old with five kids and i'm nine months pregnant i have an eight a seven a three a two year old an 11 month old and at this point i might as well just say i'm 10 months pregnant my due date was may 12th so we are currently one day overdue i work full time as a dental assistant which a lot of y'all don't believe because i am on food y'all act like people that have jobs don't receive food stamps you can still qualify for food stamps and have a job but anyways the comments i see under my post sometimes i just have to play along because i can say what it is in the video or in the caption and it still goes over people's head i can tell y'all that all my kids are by one person and have them in the video and y'all

still asking where the dad i can post a video of me at work and some of y'all will still say no i don't believe that this this gives me hope this woman gives me hope it's just beautiful she what's her name kirsten let me mute it so it doesn't play hold on her name is kirsten's chaos kirsten's underscore chaos five on instagram i bet she has tiktok too oh my god okay here's another one this is our palette cleanser as a reminder this is the palette cleanser segment oh this is like a little different vibe but i love this this is so great and then we'll okay yeah i'll watch this first after having four kids by four different niggas i can honestly say i'm finally in a place where i can just be i got tired of living in anger from

being betrayed by the niggas i thought i loved i decided to love myself and baby when i tell you this love is unmatched this is the type of love to have you thinking damn do i even want a nigga i just hit 942 days without having sex with any nigga okay and that's my biggest flip this but you know me because i'm comfortable you ball period four babies she's doing it but see she's also thrown in the towel it's been 942 days since she's had sex so she's like no more babies we what's her name we can't have this this is not okay uh Madison no it's constantly evolving 55 does she put her first name on there no I don't know about okay I take back what I mean she did have four kids

good for her her whole page I did a little browse she's doing her healing she's on her healing journey from, from she's distancing herself from the male population. She's had her four kids, um, with four different men and, um, now she's healing. And we also have to celebrate that. Can't ask for much more. We need, Oh, we also need, need healed people. So however you want to heal, okay. Touching men, touching your man more than you want to, more than you touch your phone not touching men but you've had four babies so you need to like that's all good it's all it all balances itself out but here's a woman just getting started okay I love her and we're gonna I think we should check back in on her to see her progress here hi my name is Jenny Nichols

and I'm a non-virgin and I'm looking for the right man and hopefully one of those things and today she's looking for a man so she's just getting started on that uh birth rate on that uh birth rate reversal what am i saying she's just looking for a man she hopes she figures that out today jenny okay jenny oh my god and then she has a fucking only fans she goes yeah i got trying to okay wait this is her bio jenny nickel trying this whole ig thing centerville iowa yeah i got one of my highlights you click her highlights and it's her link to uh her only fans or whatever whore page she's on not calling her a whore not slut shaming i'm pro this i'm pro whatever it

takes to solve the birth rate okay i don't care if she's just getting started and um you know she's a little she's i don't know how old would i put her upper 30s she's still got she's still got there's still a chance there's still a chance let's see what other videos she posts here i've i haven't watched any of these i'm just clicking the next one i need a man that thinks he knows how to handle me i need a man that's the video what's this one i've always been a naughty girl and i love being very naughty this is how we solve the declining birth rate put yourself out there say you're looking for dick say you're you see you're a naughty girl and you want to get bent over and you want to get hard. Okay. More of this. I'm pro like ever. And my motto, and I haven't

brought it up in a while. It's a, it's a three word motto here on the show and it's be a whore. Okay. Lean in, be a whore. It's just, it's good for everything. It's good for the world. It's good for the population. It's good for you. It's good for everyone. Be a whore. Okay. Speaking of being a whore i'm not saying alex this is the thing i it's a it's a it's not an attack on alex cooper this is not i'm not coming for alex cooper i'm not calling her a whore i'm not saying speaking of whores what i'm saying is that she was on alex cooper was interviewed by the wall street journal about the current state of affairs with her unwell company and yada yada yada and they addressed or they asked her about the smear campaign vanity fair article written up about

her company and um basically saying that her husband is a piece of shit okay and he yells at people makes him cry and he asks inappropriate questions the female employees and it makes him uncomfortable and I always say because I've worked for startups that were ran by men um um, that were sleaze balls. Okay. And they, if anyone is saying it, it's true. Like if it even, if, if it's even brought up, it should. So my whole take is it should never even be brought up. It should never even exist. There is like, for example, if Corey ran a company, my husband ran a company, my company that are our company, like that would never happen. Like no woman would ever be like, he asked me no, no female employee would ever be like, yeah, he asked me who I had

sex with this weekend my husband would never fucking ask his female employee that question so like the fact that a lot of people are like oh it's exaggerated and it's you know people talk and say things because they're trying to tear her down or whatever I don't know um some people obviously want maybe want to see her fail past employees who knows um my whole take is that it should never even exist and be a thing. But back to this lady, this woman, what's her name? Uh, Jenny nickel looking for a man looking for love. Okay. Alex Cooper's interviewed by the wall street journal. And she goes, you know, as a woman, she always has to preface that as a woman, it's like, okay, we know you're a woman and it's hard for women out here in business. That's her

whole spiel every single time that's her whole shtick whenever she gets a microphone in her hand and is interviewed by anyone on a stage it's like there's always she's on the defense and she's like I am a woman and it is hard out here for us and we are not treated the same as a man and she always has to like preface that and mention it she can't help herself okay it's a protection thing and she goes, you know, as a woman, and by the way, I'm saying this because it's a pregnant on pregnant thing. Okay. She's pregnant. I'm pregnant. It's not, it's not like, oh, pregnant women are off limits. It's like, no, if you're also pregnant, you can come out, not even coming at her. I'm just like, it was diabolical what she said. She goes, you know, as a woman, you can't be both.

You can't have fun in your twenties and also be a mom. I think that is exactly how she said it. She goes, you can't have fun in your 20s and also be a mom, but men can get it out of their system. Men are allowed to do that. But as a woman, you can't do both. You can't be both. You have to pick one. are you having fun aka fucking whoever you want and living your independent free bird lifestyle or uh which okay or are you just a mom settling down with like the first love of your i don't know the first whatever you're just like not staying single and you settle down whatever and what's confusing is it's like hey I don't know if you've looked around that's the norm dude like most girls most like women I'd say the norm is that most women yeah they like quote unquote get it out of their system party in their 20s date men and go to the buffet in their 20s

and explore and all of that good stuff and then settle down like in their 30s that's the typical pathway or like the most I mean it's changing now but it's very normal to do both and it's no one is saying you can't have fun in your 20s and date whoever you want and have sex with whoever you want and also be a mom like you can do both obviously not at the same time like at one at a certain point you settle down and you become a mom. And that's beautiful. That's normal. And no one is saying you can't. So I was confused by that anyways. Um, so where are we at in the episode? Okay. We do have more videos. Oh yeah. This guy that reminded me of my ex and he's like a finance bro. And it, it just makes me explode. Okay. So

this guy is Davis Clark on Instagram, 697,000 followers, by the way. So he's like, well, like he has a huge following and i'm gonna play one of his videos or a couple and then i'll talk about him his resolution was to release that song we fulfilled on it but we don't stop we're getting after it every single day and coming for that title let them know okay i was working so fast that the computers literally couldn't keep up they told me to take a break and then get back to it so we're chilling for a little and then we crushed these reports it was a crazy ride out there flat tires wrong turns and then i chowed three burgers and three hot dogs what a day let's go oh my god let's do one more i'm chipping away at these projects day by day step by step getting them

done let's go okay this man i'm embarrassed to admit reminds me of my ex because of the dork humor i just remember i was like you're hot but like your personality is like a very he's he was way more left brain than me and like not to say nerdy necessarily but just more like dork energy but I was like you're hot so I like was blinded by that the whole time it was six five was like one of those things and so but his personality was very square he was a square okay he was such a square into finance and shit like crunch numbers I don't know whatever and but this guy what is his name davis clark just looks like he needs to be popped like a balloon that just needs its air released and then he won it because you guys he grits his teeth when he talks like so

intensely and he's passionate you know his bio is inspire help others do the right thing enjoy life every day all caps riser locked in for greatness the heavy hitters so he's but it's like he needs he needs to be touched by a woman like this is the thing this is a good example of like this man should go hit up what's her name daisy i don't know the woman looking for for a man that's the naughty one no but like he looks like someone who's just like like there's you just need like the air released from the body just like because he's so wound tight he's so way on tight doing these fucking reports these financial reports what other crazy people are on the internet that we saved here oh my gosh this lady oh my gosh wait stacy kennison you know i

had a lot of trouble i've been it was very badly destructed during donald trump's first presidency and i like donald i really do um but he made a satanic deal about me when he was a child like a lot of other people in america did or when he was a teenager young adult and he made lots of money i guess somebody forced him to he's a he's a victim but um he's siding with the coens with the duns with the kennedys the shrivers and those hollywood movie stars and jenny therese mercer and a lot of people that are destructing me and my family and blaspheming our holy spirit and destructing us they defiled me this morning again and molested my genitals and he's going along with the women that are saying that uh it's okay to deny me an exorcist my exorcism and blessing and

their attitude is oh my god i'm so lost i'm lost in my genitals this morning what is going on her name's stacy kinnison i think there's like lore on her i don't i i feel like she there's like a whole story about her i have no idea what it is okay and the psych ward lady we got to find her because she's just so great with her scrapbook oh my god i documented some things in the psych word and there are some things that are highly suspicious why so suspicious and how i made sure my brain was functioning properly because the salt was always iodized which is like kind of like pink lemon salt ki it didn't have sodium in it you know no wonder why some of the patients were like i need salt and everything they're not giving us the proper nutrients as they think they

should so what i always did was i asked for ketchup and i really didn't like ketchup but now i do mustard uh cheese bits guys she saved everything from the psych ward and put it in a scrapbook like all the like yeah the ketchup packet the salt packet it's just full of all this shit it has mustard in it and uh this this cheese block or whatever this butter that's healthy it wasn't the canola oil butter that causes heart disease they stopped serving that apparently and uh yeah god malicious hamster 99 9999 she's crazy in the best way i love like her other videos are just oh my god like what's this hey the first official person in the entourage is the hooded jesus i can't okay it's just too much it's like i'll go down the rabbit hole um

okay where are we at i feel like it's time um more news oh shit the world cup's going on the the uh this video is so funny i love this okay i cannot speak english but but i'm excited I love him! Yeah, baby! Let's go! Japan! Japan, baby! Look, it's lit. It's lit. Oh, that's so cute. He's excited for his country. He's like, I can't speak English, but... Oh, he's rooting for Japan.

All these foreigners watching the World Cup come into America looking at... or looking at all of our products. What am I saying? I'm trailing off at the grocery stores the giant ass skippy peanut butters and the marshmallow fluff and the just like the shit you find at Walmart the bulk size of everything is it's funny blue bear what's even going on in the world cup like I don't pay attention this at all who are the leaders right now Mexico Mexico nine points I it's all based on points and a win is like three points i think i do know that brazil's second or there's brazil netherlands switzerland morocco with seven points germany united states and ivory coast with six points there's all these

groups group a's group c's group t it's like huh so one sport i just i fake cared about when i dated British guys back in the day I like adopted their passions and hobbies and music taste and all that good stuff um and I pretended like I enjoyed watching it but I fucking don't didn't give a shit I'm like let's watch American football let's watch anything else besides men kicking a ball around like I just don't find watching soccer entertaining like it's just so much back and forth for maybe one or two goals and there's there there aren't any plays there's no setup it's just very fluid and there's a lot of fake crying and you know men just like rolling around grabbing their ankle for and that's like part of it like the the acting like you're injured and not actually

being injured thing is a real it's like a tactic so I just don't like like that part of soccer but it's cool we're hosting it in a lot of stadiums here and um people are excited and you know I love sports so I can't hate on this I just personally am not following it oh what else is going on um oh yeah I know what we need to talk about uh okay so I never say anything like this but it needs to be called out and everyone making fun of it needs to be shamed. Okay. Clavicular's new nose job looks amazing. He looks great. Everyone's saying it makes him look more basic. He ruined his face. Okay. I think it looks beautiful and I think it's deeper than that. And by the way, I'm his number one supporter.

Hi, Clavicular. Hi, Brayden. His name is Brayden, but he goes by Clavicular. Hi, I'm your number one supporter. I'm your number one fan. Okay. Love your work. I love your nose, by the way. I'll say I love your nose. And this goes deeper for me because I admire people that are committed to excellence. Okay. And you getting a nose job to correct the ratio of your facial nose symmetry or whatever is going on there really shows how committed you are to your craft and that you really practice what you preach. a lot of you guys are missing the point of his nose job if his whole career is about teaching facial harmony he better have some damn good facial harmony okay so if there's a ratio out there that exists for the nose a perfect ratio and he doesn't go and get that for himself he's not practicing what he's preaching he's a fraud okay this would be like brian johnson doing a live stream on kick about the benefits of eating lentils and then going out back afterwards and chain smoking a pack of cigarettes. Okay. This man has KPIs for his jawline straight up. Like

he's committed to the game and I respect that. And I think, again, his nose looks great. His nose looks really good. Again, clavicular. I'm your biggest supporter. I think the bullying needs to stop. And by the way, those bullies coming at you about your nose or in the closet right now looks maxing because of you. They're doing all the tricks that you teach. Okay. They're just not out like you being loud and proud about it. Okay. There's a lot of people silently working on their, their looks because of you. And you should be, you should be proud of yourself about that you should also be proud something i also admire he was just in paris and he's so open about the fact he doesn't have game i love the honesty clavicular has like i

just admire how straight up he is he doesn't sugarcoat shit he's he's so honest it's hard to find now the honesty like he's in paris and he's open about how he doesn't have game like watch this video you know i have the worst game so i don't claim to ever be something i'm not i'm not a fucking pickup artist uh i'm a fucking autist you know i'll tell you everything you need to know about looks maxing but going and going up to chicks not my specialty that is the most respectable thing i've ever heard come out of a man's mouth he knows what he's good at like he's he's not he's not trying to be something he's not clavicular he knows that he has no game he's in paris he's hitting on these parisian chicks all these stacy's

that's what he calls them and they're they're not into it and he's like hey like I don't I don't have game I know that and I I just think deep down like I just again I'm feeling compassionate more compassionate than ever now I just want to this is a person that gets a lot of hate but I think what he needs is he wants love obviously we all want love but like he just needs to be embraced for who he is like this is a really cool thing we're witnessing we're witnessing someone committed to excellence we're witnessing someone who is going in on one thing I have the book the one thing right here it changed my life and that's why I do my one thing my podcast is my one thing he has one thing and he's like he's gonna be the best he is the best

in the world at it looks maxi that should be propped up celebrated cheered on for you can make fun of him all you want. You can say his nose looks, makes him look more basic. Um, I just think he looks great. I, I, I, I love the nose. I love the new nose. And again, it's, it's a new nose and it's, it's probably swollen. It's not quite healed yet. It'll take probably a year to show the actual, the final result. Um, but what a sweet guy, you know, what a sweet guy. shout out okay I think I need to wrap the episode um what else is happening Love Island don't care I just don't care I said I was gonna watch it I just don't care and the more people that I listen to um covering it and recapping it the more or the more I listen to people recap it and cover it

the more I'm like this is definitely not for me I mean it's just a waste it's just such a waste of time to like it's just so I mean I don't know like I feel like this season people aren't really excited about anyways so um yeah there's something something about a guy named Sincere something about a guy named Sincere that's all I know there's a guy named Sincere and there's uh the the villas are called something I don't know there's a lot of challenges that are really porny um yeah that's all i know oh fuck i didn't talk about this but we watched maternal instinct on netflix that documentary is the most disturbing twisted upsetting documentary i have ever watched in my life and i didn't see it coming usually i can

kind of piece together what's going to happen while i watch a documentary it's like kind of tease some things in the beginning and then you're like oh this is probably what happened as you're watching everything all the evidence you know unfold over the the show and this documentary maternal instinct started off with a woman getting pulled over by the police and she's like i just had a baby right and long story short and then they go right into the hospital um footage of the the police body cam and her name's taylor parker i believe she's in prison now she should be she's on death row i think in texas actually i think the only female or i don't know taylor parker is that her name oh yeah i can't even look at it so anyways they

show the body cam footage next of the inside the hospital and um you know she's claiming she just had a baby she's like rushing the hospital they have a baby in the car with her there's blood obviously on her and then they show you the body cam footage inside the hospital and a doctor checking to see if she just had a baby and making sure she's all good down there right because hemorrhaging bleeding out whatever like and the doctor goes she didn't have a baby there's no nothing shows that she just had a baby on her body like she did not just have this baby So that's how the documentary starts, Maternal Instinct, right? And it tells a story about a girl, Taylor Parker, who was a pathological liar. Basically, she faked this whole pregnancy, faked so many things in her life. she was either married or had a boyfriend she lived with um fake to pregnancy with a fake

prosthetic bump she bought on amazon full term by the way she went full term without him catching that that's not a real like that's that's not a bait there's that's a fake baby bump she's strapping on every day like are they not i'm like how does he not are they not doing it or anything like are they not the dogs are fighting in the background I don't know if you can hear that they're so bored right now um so that was crazy and long story short she murders a girl who was also pregnant um or not also pregnant because she wasn't pregnant when she was that she befriended because she took photos at her wedding so she befriended this girl she became a taylor parker like another thing she got into was photography where she would

take pregnancy photos newborn photos family photos wedding photos and she oh my gosh the dogs and then when it came down to it and she's nine months pregnant everyone knows her due date because she's posting clancy gale because she named her baby clancy gale post she posted on facebook i mean they took maternity photos like on a horse it was crazy um she started researching like how to how to get a newborn like what do i how do i buy one or like i don't know like she's doing research and then the next research she does is like how to perform a c-section okay so she this is the twist i wasn't expecting i just didn't see it coming and it fucked me up i was bawling crying like Corey couldn't even watch it I think he was crying like I've never seen my husband cry

like that I mean he didn't really cry like that but he was fucked up she was like so desperate to prove that she was pregnant and have a baby that she murdered this woman I should know her name because what's her name um she married or not married this happened in 2020 by the way and it She murdered 21-year-old Reagan Simmons, Reagan Simmons Hancock, and she was like nine months pregnant. She goes into her house, stabs her a bajillion times, fights her, and then cuts the baby and performs like a C-section out of her belly. and I guess there were no cut scrapes nothing no trauma on the baby when it came to the hospital it was like a perfect c-section which some expert c-section surgeons are say that that is crazy because even the best of the best sometimes cut a little like the baby might have a little damage

on it thrown around like that's crazy to think about should never happen but it does happen so the fact that it was like a perfect c-section was crazy baby ended up dying at the hospital or maybe before the baby didn't make it the mom's murdered murdered and then taylor parker's going she's in prison she was crazy she had like those crazy eyes when you know someone's crazy it was so disturbing like a fucking and it was just to get to that level of desperation where you faked a pregnancy, all of your family and friends are celebrating you thinking you're pregnant. You're posting pictures on Facebook of your bump and updates and you're faking. I mean, she faked, she faked everything. Um, but to be so desperate where you mentally get yourself to

the point of, I'm going to take a knife and I'm going to stab my friend who I befriended. Cause I took her wedding photos because I was like a fake photographer. That's another pathological liar thing I did. Um, I'm going to stab her, kill her in her house and rip her baby out and fake that it's mine and flee in a car and act like I'm rushing to the hospital. I don't know how she got pulled over. I don't know what that was. Like the fact she got pulled over is crazy I don't know that's the one piece I didn't understand or I didn't I don't recall is that's crazy she's on that rushing to the hospital was she driving super fast that's probably why was it speeding I'm assuming but the fucking the call the 911 call of the poor mother who

walked in on Reagan and had to see that of her daughter nine months pregnant like dead in that way I mean I just it was so disturbing the most disturbing documentary I've ever watched so we'll end on that note we'll end on a negative depressing note um this was a fun episode like holy shit we popped off I'm like leaning into popping off I think it's good for the algorithm like I'm enjoying um yeah speaking my mind getting liquid and staying loose I think we did that today um yeah i let me get my outro music i guess we'll do the little jazz outro thanks for being here i hope you enjoyed this episode please hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now i'm on apple spotify google google podcast stitcher breaker overcast

wherever you listen to podcasts please hit that subscribe button and and review the show five stars while you're there follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Jacqueline Monroe subscribe to my YouTube channel this is a video and audio podcast hi YouTube subscribe to my YouTube channel and finally if you want to support the show patreon.com slash tjms patreon.com slash tjms all right that's it thanks for hanging out I am I awake now like that was a long episode no I'm just ready for my second nap honestly I'm ready for dinner I'm ready for tacos I feel like we're gonna we're gonna go get some tacos now I'm not cooking tonight not tonight it's Friday night I'm feeling I'm feeling like a little tacos and uh margarita but I can't have one so we'll just

get a water all right love you thanks for hanging out talk to you next week bye