The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 432- Sydney Sweeney: Why Hot Women Matter

Episode Date: September 18, 2026

Happy Fall! Football is back, I’m consuming pumpkin flavored garbage at an alarming rate, and naturally my homeownership experience has taken another deeply unglamorous turn at the worst possible time.This week: Marriage deception, neighborhood drama, Week 1 football thoughts, the Rams-49ers Australia situation, unsolicited dating advice for men, Earle Meets World, Alex Earle finally addressing the Alex Cooper drama, and the HYROX athlete who sh*t herself. Then we get into the important stuff: Sydney Sweeney’s ( . Y . )'s! Her naked Novig ad, why women will defend literally anything except another women being hot (*cough* Lindsay Clancy *cough*), the history of hot chicks and how they helped us win wars, and my theory that this country would heal overnight if we could all just see a hot woman in an ad, react with joy, and move on. Plus: a self-check for the next time another woman looking good makes you upset, why being hot is a hobby you can get better at, and a palate-cleanser to bring the show home: hills I’m willing to die on that no one asked about. Thanks for listening and supporting the show! Enjoy! :) REVIEW THE SHOW ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ https://open.spotify.com/show/4ijzUBunTIHgVmahB0ISEN BECOME A PATRON! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/tjms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ KEEP IN TOUCH!INSTAGRAM »⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinemonroe/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TIKTOK » jacqueline.monroe EMAIL THE SHOW!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ MY MUSIC GUY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Jacqueline Monroe Show is a comedy and cultural commentary podcast covering current events, online trends, modern society, public figures, and influencers through unfiltered conversation and humor.

Hey, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. Hi. How are you? How's your fall? How's your fall going? We're halfway through September. Look at us go. We're halfway through September. We're three months away from 2027, not to scare anyone. It's fall. How's your fall? Are you cozy? Are you currently wearing a fuzzy sock? Are you sipping a pumpkin spice? Have you had your official first pumpkin spice product of the season yet? I feel like that's always a moment for me. Last week on the cast I had a pumpkin spice cold foam situation. And all of this week I've been eating a pumpkin spiced English muffin buttered with,

it kind of throws it off a multi-berry jam with a little salt, a little malden salt. Um, that's my appetizer, my breakfast appetizer. Um, uh, you guys, it's like, hold on. So yeah, happy fall. Congratulations. Oh, congratulations to Southern California. We're out of the heat wave. There's a little, there's finally a little breeze in the air. Okay. It's, it's been nice. It's, it's coming. Like, I, it's not chilly. Oh, my God. I'm not talking about the weather. We're, we're, we're cutting this shit out. I should be, okay, so we talked about the date. So we're halfway through September. I am pregnant.

What does this mean for me if you're wondering? What this means for me is just like last week, I put out a three-hour episode. Okay, three-hour and I think 11-minute episode. Okay. At way too many, way too many months pregnant, right? I mean, women work up into, they're doing heart surgery, open heart surgery up until the end. Like, I mean, there are women, like, in fighter jets, in battle. Okay, nine months pregnant.

Like, I mean, I mean, like, they're doing some badassery out there. The women are doing badassery. They're doing, what am I saying? They're doing badass things while pregnant. And I'm over here. way too many ones pregnant podcasting. I have a lot to give. We're going to have a good episode.

I'm not sitting here saying like I shouldn't be doing this right now. But like last night, last night, I was, I had a panic attack because I was like, I don't know if I know how to breathe. I don't know if I'm prepared, prepared enough. And by the way, for like how far along are you? Like it's midway through September. It seems like you're. you're not telling us when you're due. Yeah, I'm not telling you when I'm due for,

I'm not disclosing that. Just know that my, I, I didn't weigh myself. You know, I've been doing that a lot, but I didn't weigh myself. I haven't done that. I measured, if this helps you, if this piece of data, um, this might be a meaningful. Okay. My brain is a potato. We know this. Words are hard. I had, I had a half de, I called Corey and I asked, I'm like, did not have enough caffeine. I'm not allowed to have anymore, right? So that's a situation. That's always a situation recording while pregnant, right? Like, I need more caffeine, but I can't have anymore. I called Corey and I was like, I got a half decaf, quad espresso at Starbucks. I wish I got more. Can I have the last Celsius in the fridge? Do you think I'm going to kill the baby? And if I do that,

and like, he's like, you're fine, just muscle through it, get through it, who cares? Just like, no, do you not have a Celsius on top of your double, what was that, a double shot espresso? Like, like relax like you'll be fine um anyways i had a panic attack last night before about at like 10 30 um we'll talk about what happened before bed i have a lot of life updates i have a really great episode for you today it's gonna be light and fun it's gonna be fall and like chill and whatever we have a lot of um fun light topics to cover today um including lindsay clancy no i'm kidding i think i've learned my lesson last week to not fucking talk about that at all okay if i'm gonna shut the fuck up about the Lindsay Clancy situation.

No, but I had a panic attack last night. I was like, wait a minute. Like, I don't think I know how to breathe. Like, I know, I don't think I'm prepared. I don't think I don't think I'm prepared. I don't think, like, I should be in a warm bath right now, breathing, practicing breathwork. And here I am podcasting. So, um, that's what's going on.

And by the way, if I had the baby today, I'd be fine. Like, everything would work out. It'd be fine. I'd be a champion. It would be like everything would go well and I'm healthy and it's fine. But I'm like, wait a minute. There are so many like, do I know baby CPR? No. Do I know how to use the life back? No. Do I like, um, I'm a little iffy on breastfeeding. Like we got to watch some tutorials on that. We need to go to a class. I need to see a lactation consultant. I'm like, there's so much shit. I'm like, wait, the wallpaper. Okay. Fuck the nursery. Fuck the nursery. I already spent a day. an entire day picking out the wallpaper for that nursery. And you guys, did I tell the story about the wallpaper of the nursery wallpaper? Okay, now I decided the nesting is never ending, right?

It's just never ending. Now I'm like, wait a minute, the guest bathroom needs to be finished. Fucking wallpaper, the guest bathroom. And then I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute. At the back of my sourdough drawer, like, that's confusing. What's the sourdough drawer? I have a drawer with my accessories for making sourdough. I found a small termite, a dead termite that was like, you know when you find like it's like the pincher bugs?

They have like the two little pinches in the back. They always used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid. Like they just, they had a vibe about them that was like, just me. Like I could handle a really pulli, really pulley only not a pincher bug. Anyways, I was making sourdough and I was, you know, getting something out of that drawer. Oh, fuck. I need to clean all of the drawers in my kitchen. I need to take everything out and wipe all of these down. There's like breadcrumbs and crust and like rice flour in this drawer. This is where I have my like little tools for sourdough and my my linens. Like I have a linen drawer for my sourdough basket. Like little, I don't have an explanation.

it. And then I'm over in my, I'm over in my utensil drawer. And I'm like, God damn it. There's like honey somehow in there, like sticky honey with crumb food crumbs. So like also, so like the guest bathroom wallpaper needs to be picked out. And that needs to be, that needs to be applied to the wall like yesterday. And then now I'm like every drawer in my kitchen needs to be deep cleaned. And I mentioned the baseboards last week. Every, Everyone says at some point in your pregnancy, you're going to want to clean your baseboards. And last week I said that's, that could never be me, couldn't be me. I don't know how I'm going to comfortably get that load of the ground at this point. Like, that's not happening.

It never happened. I never got the baseboard itch. But I'm having the like drawers need to be white itch. I'm having the every, oh my God, every tube of concealer. Every tube of concealer, if you know, you know, every. lip gloss. I have a lip gloss for as an example. Go to YouTube or Spotify to watch. The rim of these things need to be wiped. All of my makeup needs to all my palettes all need to be cleaned. Like the cradle crap. That was a, my dad always used to say cradle, or no, my mom, I don't

know. Cradle crap was a huge. That was like a common term in my household growing up. The crusties in the cradle crap in the drawers in the products, like, they all need to be deep cleaned and that's kind of where my brain's out right now so I should be in a bath, deep breathing, learning how to give birth, how to breathe the baby out instead of bearing down and turning purple and ripping my asshole out instead like literally I swear to God like women used to be told to like push like you're taking a shit and they'd have like hemorrhoids down to their ankles. Like I mean it's horrible and like that I mean it's just. It should be an involunt, like, wait a minute, I'm pretty sure, upon researching, I learned that, like, it's actually an involuntary thing. Like, if you didn't do anything, you would just, like, plop. Your body would just, like, give birth. So you just have to be relaxed and chill and, like, breathe calmly and, like, yeah. Um, which I'm very good at being calm. I'm very good at going into my mind and imagining.

my pelvis. Let's do it right now. I'm seeing the ring light. Right now I'm in my eyes. I'm shutting my eyes. Guys, we're going on a stream of consciousness tangent podcast right now. Okay. I understand this is really all over the place, but I'm warming up. Okay. We're warming up. We're just getting into it. Thank you for being here. I love you. And happy episode, whatever the fuck this is. Thank you. Okay. So, I'm closing my eyes right now. I'm seeing, seeing the, the ring light in my eyes behind my eyelids. And that's resembling, like I'm thinking of my pelvis. You know what? That's enough birth talk, baby talk. You know, anyways, let's just, yeah. Okay. So we did it. We know I'm pregnant. We know that I should be in a bath right now and I should be picking out wallpaper and I should be cleaning out the termites and the crusties and the cradle crap from my, from all my drawers.

anyways. Let's like, okay. So also what should I actually be doing right now? I'm going to set the scene, kind of catch you up to speed of, you know, like, where I've been, what I've been up to in the last week since we last spoke, bring you into my life, right? But I'm also going to bring you into the last, I mean, it's only been, like, less than 12 hours. It's been about 12 hours. I'm going to open my spin drift. This is an odd choice. Okay. This is a cherry spin drift. And it's not good. Okay.

Like I pulled it out because I wanted to conserve my grape fruits and my lemon spin drifts because while I'm podcasting, I don't really care that much about the flavor. But when I'm sitting down later, when I'm sitting down, I'm going to want to actually like sit and enjoy the flavor. So, okay. So the last 12 hours, like life updates. Let's catch you up to speed. let's set the scene, tell you what I'm wearing and all that shit. But I mentioned sitting in a bath and breathing.

That's what I really should be doing right now. I should also be finishing. I have this book I'm supposed to finish this like parenting book. You know what? I'm okay. You know what? I'm okay. Again, it's, I'm actually not a perfectionist.

Wait, who ain't? Like, wait a minute. I am so, I'm so chill. I'm so calm. I'm so not way on tight. And everything I just said makes it see. like I am about getting shit done before the baby and like learning every parenting tip and birthing tip like no, no, no.

Like I, I know it's like too much information and it's like the times, right? It's the times. And I know that like if I had nothing, this baby will be fine. I will be fine. all I care about. All I really care about is that my tits work. Okay, that's it. All I care about is that my tits work.

I want them to work. Okay, they've been worked on a couple times. And I'm a little worried that like that might cause some potential issues. I don't know. I don't know. I squeezed them the other day and let's just keep the pregnancy segment going. Fuck it. I, this is a life update.

I came out of the shower and I was like, let me just cop a feel. Okay, let me just cop a feel. Let me just. And it makes me nervous. This made me nervous because apparently this can induce labor. And I'm a little, I'm not like, I want to be effed if that happened now. Like I'd be, the baby would be fine. But like, it made me nervous because I'm like, you know, first time where I'm like, God forbid, I percolate, percolate a titty. percolated nipple, okay? And by the way, yes, we were talking about Sidney's Tits. Yes, that will be a topic of discussion later in the episode. Yes, I will be discussing the Novig, Novig, Novig, novid,

Novig ad, the sports betting app ad, she did. Of course, we're going to be talking more about Tits. So like, you know, I can't help myself. When a hot bitch is doing hobbitch things, oh, and Alex Earl, like, when hot bids do hobbitch things, I'm like, let me get on my podcast and be their biggest cheerleader. and hype them the fuck up. Okay, because like that, that shit makes me so happy.

I'm a man. I'm a man. Okay. Like, I love, I love a hot chick. I love, I love hot women. I will never complain. I will never complain. Okay.

Okay. They're part of my tribe. I can't hold myself. I am one. I am in unison. I ride, I ride alongside them. I, um, they are part of my tribe. and as a tribe, as a hot bitch tribe, tribe member.

I, I, it is, it's not only an honor to support Sydney Sweeney in these times as, as a fellow hot bitch. Like, it's an, um, I feel like it is my duty. It is my responsibility as a fellow hot bitch. Like, you, okay. So we will be discussing that. Back to my tits. I got out of the shower. I got out of the shower. And then I'm not going to forget what I really need to discuss, which is what I should actually be doing right now. And it involves murder. Okay.

I know I said my brain is a potato, but like this will all connect. What I actually should be doing right now instead of podcasting involves death. Okay. So there's your little teaser, but back to my tits. I get out of the shower. I'm a little nervous, but I'm like, I just know that like, I, I, I just know that like, I just, I just had like a little like, because Jimmy, you guys, the dogs know. The dogs fucking not, right? Like, they know it's, they can tell. Some, they smell the baby. I don't know.

The night, so the night before I did this and percolated my tithe, purculated my tits, stimulated, stimulated the nips and, and, and realize that they, yes, in fact, they do work. Jimmy would not lay off my nipples. Like, I was, he was, he was like, He never, if you've ever been naked around a dog, like, they're, they're just, they're, okay, first of all, I have two dogs. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they look each other's dicks. They face fuck each other. They're, they're, they're not, they're both fixed and it, it still happens. Like, dogs are disgusting like that. If you've ever been naked around a dog, like, sometimes they're going to try to, like, cop it. They're going to try to, like, get up in there. Okay. If you're, if you're not careful, they might, like, come out of nowhere and you're like, oh, shit, like, you know, and it. And it, you know, it happens. Like I think I would be, why am I trying to be like, no, like, they're dogs, like, and they live among our naked bodies. And sometimes you're like laying in bed with your tits out and your golden retrievers like,

you know, I'm sensing you're pregnant. Like, I know you're pregnant and like, and I'm also sensing like a new smell coming from your nipple. Like I'm just going to give it a lick. Okay. And that happened. Basically that, so here's the story. That happened the night before.

And it was just like he wouldn't fucking like leave my tits alone. So I was like, get off the bed. Like you're freaking me out. Like this is stop. Like it, you know, like I don't want to go into labor right now because my golden retriever was sucking my tities. Like, no. So that would make for a great story.

You know, that'd be great content for the, for the algorithm. Okay. Like how did you go into labor? What did you do? I let my golden retriever suck my tits. Okay. You know there's that video. I know Alex Cooper is like,

she's also like a topic of conversation because of the Alex Earl TV show on Netflix and the text like the not the text message the the drama between them but there's this video I always think about or people always bring up where she's like literally making out with her dog like French like tongue to tongue like there's there's like kissing your dog or letting them lick you and then there's you licking them back and one is okay and the other one is not okay and she was doing the full tongue to tongue with her dog. And so I feel like what I just said was not me. It would be like me nursing him on purpose. So I'm not that psychotic, like, or disgusting or mentally ill. Like, it just happened. Okay, he was cuddling with me, whatever. And I'm at the point where I got to let him breathe.

I got to let him breathe. The bras are so, anyways. So did I even finish the story? The big reveal is that I get out of the shower. I get out of the shower. And I'm like, I'm just, last night he was looking them. He was looking them. And I feel like he knew something was in there.

So I'm going to see if something's in there. And there was something in there. And I screamed. And Corey was outside on the phone to taking a call. I don't fucking know. And I screamed. I'm like, get in here. Code red.

And we don't say code red unless it's like a serious matter. I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm like, it was orange. It was orange. It was the color of what you want an egg yolk to be. Okay.

Coming out of my nipple, it was like a pinhole, like a tiny dot. And that was enough for me to go like, okay, my tits work. The baby will be fed. It'll be fine. That's like all I care about back to this mantra and like, this mantra back. Yeah, it's like my mantra. Like everything will be fine.

I'm chill. I'm calm. Back to what I was saying earlier about everything will work out if I had nothing. If I had no knowledge, like everything would be okay. I need some knowledge. Okay, let's be, let's be real. So, but my number one thing I'm worried about is I just want to, I just want that part of my motherhood journey to be a thing, the breastfeeding. And I think we're in the clear. Okay, cool. So moving on. And by the way, I'm not, I haven't touched them since because I'm so nervous. I'm like, I just don't want to, I don't know. It's so

freaky. It's like, yeah. That was colla. For those of you that don't know why it was orange, it's colostrum. Okay. It's called colostrum. I could do an entire dissertation about colostrum and what that is because I had to do a lot of research and I learned all about it on all these lactation videos. Okay. Okay. So yeah, back to what I should be doing and what happened last night. Okay, so we already talked about pregnancy and tits at the top of the episode. Now we're going to talk about death. Okay, let's pivot. So I, I just got off the phone with Corey before I started recording.

Okay. And he's like, I need you to listen. Have you been listening this morning? Have you been keeping a close ear to the sounds of the home? Okay. We are in spooky season. And there's something either paranormal, paranormal happening. I want it to be paranormal.

I want it to not, you guys, my, what I want to be true is that this is not, the thing that is in our home is not alive. What am I saying? Where am I going with this? Walk with me. Okay. So what I should be doing right now as a responsible wife. as a responsible housewife,

as the CEO of the home, right? I should not be speaking into this microphone right now. Okay. I should be on the phone with emergency pest control. I'll do the sound effect again. And it pains me, you guys, it pains me because if you know anything about me in this journey and this chapter of life I'm on right now

or in on, I am so connected to nature. I'm so connected to nature, to animals. Last week we talked about my inability to kill these ants, right? We live in a canyon. It's hot. We're in a heat wave. It's Southern California.

I didn't know this was a thing. I didn't grow up with ants like this. There's these little mini ants. Okay. It's like the M&M mini M&M edition of ants. Okay. And they're everywhere. In my bathroom.

They just, they're in the bathroom. They're not really. anywhere else. They're just in my master bathroom. And they love going on, they love cleaning the bacteria off my retainer. And it's kind of endearing. I'm like, I think instead of being like grossed out by that, I'm like, I think they're like helping the situation. And then I hypochloric acidate and then I like, deep clean it. And like I have like a super sonic bathtub. I put my retainer in. And then I put like this cleaning solution. So after I do all of that, um, you know, I'm going to have shit underneath my fingernails in a, in a short amount of time here like constantly. So like,

A little ant feces on my retainer or bacteria on my retainer. Like, I'm after I, like, potentially after I clean it that much, like, doesn't freak me out. Like, I'm, I'm not, like, bacteria is, like, it's okay. It's okay. I could eat the ants and probably, like, boost my iron levels right now. Like, I could, like, there are so many positives to these ants I could come up with and why that's not disgusting what I just explained. They love my retainer.

Okay. They're crawling all over my sink. I talked about how I can't kill them. I haven't said an ant trap. I haven't put out the little poison trap yet. I haven't looked into that. I also have a spider thing where like if I see a house spider, I smile at it. And I'm like, oh, buddy, you know, like I'm friends with the spiders.

You know, I can't kill any of the spiders. They're getting killed Friday. Okay, the cleaning ladies, cleaning ladies are going. I did discuss this. Like, they do get killed once a month when the cleaning ladies come. If you're new to the show, I talked about this last week, go listen to last week. episode. I can't kill anything, right? So let me speed you up. Last night, last night, actually yesterday morning. Walk with me. Okay. And this is, this is not good because when the little

lies start happening in a marriage, when the little secrets start becoming a regular pattern in a marriage, it's a bad sign. Okay. And I'm coming to the internet today as a wife telling you that I if you don't you're not lying to them if you don't tell them the truth clip it that's my self-help help advice of the day that's the clip if you don't lie to them you're not if you're not you're not telling you don't lie to them if you didn't tell them the truth wait that is lying again my brain's potato so this is what really happened back to my story so I should be on I should be on the emergency hotline the emergency pest control hotline right now and um here i am so last night no yesterday morning see last night is when i was honest with

Corey uh and this is the husband and wife marriage segment by the way this is like behind the scenes of our marriage okay this is intimate information i usually try to like keep that separate um just like i really see it's like i can't fucking help myself like my whole thing was like I'm not going to talk about my pregnancy. I'm not going to be the pregnant chick who has like who comes online and is like, I'm a mommy and here's all my pregnancy tips. And here's my, here's my baby. I'm like, I'm not, that's not going to be my brand.

Okay. And now it's my fucking brand. Okay. It's what I talk about my podcast now. And same with marriage. Like I just feel like that's a lot of this. I believe certain things are sacred in life and there should be not everything needs to be talked about and aired out and discussed. Okay. And I love that I keep my marriage private.

And I, well, I talk about Corey a lot. He calls in. He'll probably call in. And he's probably going to ask me. He's literally going to call me. First thing he's going to ask me is, are you listening? Are you keeping your ear to the ground? Are you keeping your ear to the walls? Have you heard anything? I need you to be listening. Have you, like, that's what he's going to be. So he calls in a lot. I include him in the show. I talk about him. whatever. But it's not, yeah. So I'm talking about lying to my husband. So this is like marriage tea, but this is not, I don't do this, right? Like this isn't. Okay. So yesterday morning. So I told them that I, I told, I was honest with him last night at like 10.30 p.m. But the truth is, I knew about this at like 9.30 a.m. And I almost.

got the gun out of the safe when this happened, okay, when I initially discovered the potential something in the home that could be, I wanted to be paranormal, but I know it's, you guys, we have a rodent situation. I believe in the, in the attic, okay? I believe that's what it is. And I don't want to believe this because what it's going to, what it means for me as the, as the connected to nature, connected to be, can't kill anything, can't kill the ants, can't kill the spiders.

is going to mean for me is that I'm going to have to I'm going to have to call pest control, the emergency pest control hotline, and I'm going to have someone come over to this home and kill the rodents in the attic and end their lives. And it's going to be a violent death because I'm pretty sure a poison death is

can they just give them laced, can they just give them something laced with fentanyl? Like something that, like what's a quick death? Doesn't that just like instantly kill you? You just, or do you just, or do you just tweak out? really hard first and then it like you like oh god hate and panituary guys i'm pretty sure that

just came out fuck that's what her she taught the toxicology or whatever it was like a fentanyl waste opioid i don't know it's really fucking sad or they're gonna do the i don't think they do the old school mouse traps where they like those are those are so fucked it's like it's 2026 why are we using a wire trap okay anyways i'm so what this means for me is I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to stomach the fact that these rodents that I want to be friends with, that I want to befriend, that I want to like, like, let, I want them to like build their little nest. Want them to build their little nest in the, in the, um, the sheet rock. What is it called? The fucking in the attic. The fiberglass. That's going to kill them if they ingest that. There's like fiberglass. I used to help with a lot of construction projects. growing up and like there's this puffy stuff inside the walls and it's like on the top of the attic but like there's fiberglass in it and you like don't want to inhale that because it's like eating

glass but like if the road I'm saying like that might be cozy for the for the rats and the or mice up there I think it's it's probably mice it's probably mice okay rats is a little aggressive I feel like rats it's not really a could be a cat fuck if it's a cat they're going to have to kill the cat I can't think about this but I was thinking it could be a cozy little for them, but that's going to kill them because it's fiberglass. Anyways, what this means is that I'm going to have to, yeah, they're going to have to die. And it's going to make me sad and I'm going to cry. And I just, and it's a whole thing having a maintenance type person coming over.

Like, bitch, I need to pick, like, I need to, I don't have time. I don't have time for that. Like, I need my home. I need my peace. I don't have time for, it's like yesterday. We had a guy come over at like 1130. to look at our backyard. It's like we finished our backyard. Um, this was specifically about we need to lands, we need to like cut it down for the winter, the trees. I don't know, the bushes. Um, I am in

support of it. We do need to do that or also it'll overgrow overgrow. Okay. So yesterday at, this is the entire podcast, by the way, this is going to be in the fucking story and I'm going to turn this bitch off. Are we an hour in and I'm not, I'm talking about, oh my God. So, hi, I need to address the camera when I talk and tell stories because when I, sorry, I'm like looking at you. Hi, how are you? Go to YouTube or Spotify to watch. If you want to see me on video. When I make clips, I'm just like looking in the distance, like zoning out, like telling these stories. I need to address the camera. Like I'm telling you a story. Hi. Got to get better at that. So yesterday at 9.30. This is when I found out the truth. Or no.

This is when I, this is when I almost grabbed the gun. We have this little gun safe. We've, I won't say how many guns safes. Gun safes we have, but, but, um, and one, yeah, okay. So I, I was watching a 9-11 video. You guys, this is so all over the place. Okay, so I'm, it's 9.30. I just had my pumpkin spice, toasted English muffin with a multi-berry jam and a little

mauled in Seasol, right? And I had three eggs and I'm sitting there and I'm eating this and I'm watching this 10 minute long 9-11 story time video about the guy who changed his flight, right? He was supposed to be on Flight 11 out of Boston to L.A. First class, but he switched it to the 11 a.m. flight. And it turns out the Flight 11 was the one that hit the World Trade Center, the first plane that hit. And he was telling the story about, you know, what that day was like, what, basically he, he, um, they didn't have enough or they didn't have an open first class seat on the 11

am flight. So the lady at the, and this was back in 2001. So like, we didn't have, you know, tech, you had a call, like you had a call and check to see if a seat opened up where now you would just get like notification or whatever. Like, it'd be more. quick and easy. So he was calling every day to see if a seat opened up on the 11 a.m. A first class seat opened up on the 11 a.m. flight. And he, you know, it was, it was no, no, no. He was doing this like the days before his trip. And the day, the night before he was out with friends. And he was planning on taking that seven in the morning flight, the flight 11, the one that hit the World Trade Center. And his first.

friends are like, oh, no, just call one more time, like something like that. They were just like, it can't hurt. Call. And lo and behold, the 11 a.m. First class. C opened up and he ended up living to tell the tale. And he, yeah. So he was telling, so I'm like in this, I'm in this story, right? And I'm eating my English muffin. And I'm home alone. No, the dogs are with me. And I'm being so fucking dramatic. But like you guys, I was about to grab the gun and I had a, my, my stomach dropped. My stomach dropped when this happened. And I was like in this moment right now, if there is a, if there is a person in my attic, like,

I'm going to like, I could die and I need to like get the fuck out of here. And like pack heat. Okay. Like, like immediately. So I'm like, I finished the 9-11 video. the second it ends. I'm already having like an adrenaline rush from this story because it's riveting, right? Like this guy, his flight changed and it, and he lived, right? And all of a sudden, like the fucking attic was like fee five, oh, it was literally like it wasn't like like rodent fingertip little

fucking attic noises. It was like a person stomped like walking the halls of our asses. Like that's what I interpreted the noise as immediate fight or flight immediate like I am going to get killed like someone is in my home I get up and I like think on my feet I'm like okay the gun's there I think God we have like multiple locations you got to have multiple locations in the home you can't just have it in one spot like you got to have multiple like I'm just telling you right now you got to be ready at all like every fucking every room okay like in mold like under my desk like behind the door, like being a little fussy. Like it's, I live in a nice neighborhood.

You never know, you never know. We'll talk about the neighbors in a bit. That's also part of the life updates. So I'm like, I interpreted the noise as a person in our attic. And this is not the first time this happened. And I'll tell you about the first time it happened. I've told the story before, but I'll retell it because it's crazy. And it's kind of hilarious.

Okay. So I'm in fight or flight. I'm like, someone's in my attic. I need to take shit. I had a kale salad the night before. It's 9.30 a.m. I just ate breakfast. I'm taking a shit.

I'm like, do I grab the gun? Do I take a shit? Do I fucking scream? Do I get out of the house? I'm like, what the fuck do I do? I'm like in fighter flight. My stomach drop. I'm like, I froze.

Like I'm a little frozen, but I'm like, I'm like, no. I'm a survivor. Like, I'm gonna fucking. I'm, so I moved to a different. location close to the door, I got my keys. And I just kind of like sat. I practiced my deep breathing. This was actually good because in a moment of like stress, which I'll be in stress during birth, like my, you know, like I'll be like, I remain calm. Like I call myself down pretty quickly. And I was like,

wait a minute. There's no way. There's someone in our attic. Like what am I who, come on. Like there's no way. Like that's not how I die. Okay. This is not how I die. This is not my story. This is not my journey. Okay. Jacqueline, calm the fuck down. It's a Tuesday. It's a Tuesday 930. Um, the dogs didn't even bark. Okay. Whatever noise you heard. You did hear and it was really aggressive, but it's not come on. Like let's like all the door, you checked all the doors and windows last night three times before you went to bed. I do do that. Like I am a little psycho with like doors and locking the fortress down every night. Like I don't fuck around

with oopsie daisy. I kept my, my door was unlocked overnight. No. Same with windows. Like I'm a freak about it. So I knew I locked the fortress the night before. I double checked.

I double checked. And so I'm like, Jacqueline cut the shit out. So speaking of shit, I took a shit. I just went and took a shit. Just kept scrolling on TikTok. And I was like, okay. Like the noise went away.

I was like, now I need to like get to work and like start my day. It's like going on 10. And anyway, so that was it, that was at 9.30, right? And then like a couple more times during the day. I heard it. Okay, like I heard a little. But it was more of the, like, like, okay, and that's the conformity.

I was like, okay, so these are definitely like rodents. I've heard this before. This has happened one other time. So it's like, fuck. But see, I'm not calling Corey. I'm not telling him like, hey. because I'm actually, you know what? In my defense, I'm like, no, the last thing I'm going to do,

Lord give me strength, okay, during this time. Give me strength. That was involuntary. I didn't mean to do that. The last thing I'm going to do during my husband's workday is call him and tell him rodents are in her attic, okay? He's got enough shit going on. Like, that's the last thing I'm going to do.

So like, in my defense, I was being a smart wife. I wasn't reacting and like, honey, there's a rat in the attic. No, no, no, no. I was just like, you know what? Gonna pretend like this isn't a thing. And I'm just going to go about my day. Hope that he hears it. Hope that he hears it.

So I'm not the one telling him that, you know, so like, you know, okay, that was my goal. But like it didn't work out that way. So here's what happened. This is what I do here. I story telling the podcast. I go on these long tangents about stupid shit that happens in my life. Like I'm being in my head, right now I'm in my head that this is too long of a story. but like stories bring people together stories are everything everything ever and I wrote this on a

sticky note when I started podcasting we just celebrated my six year on the last episode everything ever is about storytelling everything everything is about a story everything's about a story and that's why we're so obsessed with this Lindsay Clancy case because it's like we want this story to be a certain thing and it's just not and I think that's what we're all learning and it's like we want this story we want this story to match the reality. Anyways. So like I'm telling stories. We're around the campfire right now.

It's fall. We're drinking our pumpkin spice. Oh my God, wait a minute. Like whiskey? Like what's like a cool fall campfire drink? We're having like a pumpkin IPA. Our toes are up. We're cozy.

We're in a fuzzy blanket around the campfire. It's getting a couple like holes in it from the embers. are kind of burning. These are like shitty blankets. These are like the blankets that they're on their way out, but they're your campfire blankets. Okay. And I'm telling this story about lying to my husband about what was, well, not what do I? I wasn't lying if I didn't, whatever. So anyways, long story short, fuck it. Let's end the story because I do have other stuff to talk about. You know, It's like 10.30 last night. Corrie's scrolling, he's watching, like, what was he watching?

He's watching like horse hoof cleaning videos. Okay? I'm doing a face massage. So like we're getting ready for bed, right? Like this is a normal night. Like he's watching horse hoof cleaning videos. I'm doing, I'm doing a face massage over my sink. I dim the lights in her bathroom really low.

as low as they possibly go. And I turn everything into like, I go inward and I'm like, I'm imagining the muscles in my face and I'm just like, I'm massaging. I do this like as I probably do this four nights a week. Like I really love doing my face massage at night. It's like very relaxing. And I'm like in the mood. Okay. I'm like, I'm in the mood. I'm relaxed. I'm showered. And like I'm praying over the sink. I'm pressing on my. pressing on my eyebrow bridge really deeply and I'm releasing tension and I'm just like let's let's okay let's I want my back to be I have to delete this episode it's it's one of those nights okay all of a sudden I hear the noise okay coming from above and something came over

me and it was like my inner like three it was like my inal in a little goal is my inner little little inner little girl who this wasn't me being a horny wife okay this was not me being like because because i know what my my priorities were in that moment and i know what court Corey was watching the hoof videos but he can go from hoof video to why am i i'm being overly in the last few episodes like, okay, so I've been repeating myself about alcohol and the stories about alcohol and like my mindset around it and like my consumption of it and my thoughts around. Like I've been overly like I've been retelling the same stories and like that's been annoying. And now I'm like really getting overly sexual and like not in a way that I'm like

like it's yeah. Like I'm not and I don't want to be like there's this really popular podcast. I don't know if it's like really popular that you like make it seem like it is. And like the whole time like the wife and I don't like this about her is trying to convince everyone that she's like a young hot thing that still sucks her husband's dick.

Like it's like her whole like her it's like an insecure like it's like a it comes across as like an insecurity. And so like I'm not trying to sit here and do that. Okay. But like the thing is is like I'm pregnant and

And it's a priority. Like, it's a priority because, like, I, like, we have needs. Okay, whatever. I don't fucking care. You know what? I am a, this is a, we are keeping it real. We're keeping it. This is like, we are not.

Okay. Anyway, so like, that was probably how the night was going to end based on what was leading up to it, based on him watching the hoof video, hoof cleaning, horse hoof cleaning video and then me like doing the face massage and me being in like the mood whatever and I hear the fucking rodents in the attic and instead of just like going staying with the sticking with my plan of being like nothing to see here so you know if he hears it he hears it I didn't hear it right I'm not going to say shit because I also don't want these rats to die because I can't kill anything I can't think about something being killed like I'm I just can't I go I waddle my

fat ass over to him. And I'm like, I'm like, honey. I first, I was like, did you hear that? Like, I hoped he heard it so that I didn't deliver the news. But then at that point, I had to because he didn't hear it. And he's like, what, what? And I'm like, I think there's something in the attic like last time. And immediately he's pissed. Immediately he's like, got, he's like, he's like, he's just like, fuck, you know? Because the last it happened, I'll keep, I'll make this, I said I was going to make a long story short. We're still telling a story, but I will make this part short. The last time this happened, we were, we discovered that they were eating through our AC vents or whatever. Like, they

put, you know, chewed holes up there. And it was a whole thing. We had to get our entire AC unit redone, repiped, re-piped, re-full, we did the full thing last summer. And it, and God blessed because we needed to like that having AC like work and work well is everything and unfortunately we've discovered the rodents chewed through and destroyed the anyways so he's pissed because he's like we just put this new AC thing in like it's only been it's been a year like so he's pissed so like immediately out of the mood I'm like fuck what I say something why I fucking say something so now it's just like he's standing he's like I'm putting I'm putting putting cuticle oil on my fingers as this is happening. And I'm like rubbing my hands and I have

like lotion on. And I'm like watching him listen to the to the ceiling. And he's like, shh, shh, and I'm like, I'm on my nail growth journey. Like I have to do this right now. And by the way, I'm on a nail growth journey life update. I'm, this is a full like, this could be an entire podcast, my nail growth journey. So he's like pissed. I'm like, the creams are making too much noise. He can't hear the ceiling. He's in like, he's in like, oh, he's in like, what mode? Just like, fuck, I got to fix this mode or whatever. He was just watching a horse hoof cleaning video and he was veging out to that and just like relaxing and chilling. And like, now he's like, oh, shit, I got to get these rodents out of my, out of my attic at 10.30 p.m.

So that's what happened. And so basically, like, I'm going to handle it. And I feel bad. And I'm basically going to call call a guy we have a guy and he's going to come and you know do his thing and because but he doesn't know unless he listens to this podcast that i already knew about this at 9.30 a.m. And that's the tea ladies. That's the tea. I was also protecting his peace. Like he was having a you know like don't don't bring a crisis to your man during the workday if it's not necessary. Pro tip. Pro tip. Pro tip. right there. Okay. Bring it to, bring the crisis to him at 10.30 p.m. when he's horny. Okay. And that's the T if you want to get out of having to fuck. Piss him off then.

Make him, make him stressed, stress him out then, okay? Because that'll, that'll, that'll, the, the, the number one way to shut his dick off is to tell him there's a fucking rat in his attic and he's got at 10.30 p. What is this? podcast. Okay, like, I'm freaking out. Okay. So, um, and the last time this happened, so they chewed through the AC events. But when we first heard it, we were so high. We were like, I don't even know. Like, we don't smoke or anything, but we, we took, like, someone gave us these gummies. We were, whatever. We took too many or too much. I don't know. We don't do well. We're not, he's better than me. I'm the worst. When I'm high, I'm like the worst. We were so paranoid and freaked out. I was like, someone is literally, there is a human being

inner attic like I cannot sleep here tonight. We drove to his parents' house and slept in there guest bedroom that night because we were so... And then the next day I like made him go in the house and check everything because I was like, there's a person in there and they're going to kill us. So anyways, this is anyways, okay. Okay, life updates. Um, I do have this like good sound effect. I don't use enough. There it is. There it is. We're moving on. Life updates. Um, we got Typhu last night, whatever. I'm puffy because I had pad. tie. I finally figured out what to get at this Thai restaurant we go to because everything's like okay. And then I finally just said, fuck it. I'm getting the pad tie. And it was the best thing on the

menu. And so we got we got pad tie last night, whatever. We're watching football. Okay, like life updates. Like let me get to. And then we need to talk about, hold on. I'm just looking here. The news. Okay. Sydney Sweeney. We have a pallet cleanser. What time is it? I'm not going to rapid fire these. Let's like, but that was a long story. So like I kind of need to. So we got Typhu last night.

I got the pad tie. Um, how's my makeup? Hold on. Oh, let me tell you what I'm wearing. Oh my God. Okay. So hi.

Hey. Okay. Um, first of all. Am I going to say this? Hold on. No, like you don't have to say every. Jacqueline.

Don't. Don't. Don't. You guys, my chest is pretty vainy right now. Like, Okay. Am I gonna? No, this is a part I just don't include. You don't have to include this. I put like body makeup on my chest today. So like I'm wearing that. Okay. Fun fact.

I look like I have porcelain tithes. It's because there's the, what is it, NutraGina Lumigl. No, the Mabeline. Who makes the Luriel Lumie Glow? Okay. On the chest. Lumi glow on the chest. We've got a gray sweater with a little lace trim. Okay. We've got a pearl necklace. A retro U.S. Open hat. How's the powder situation? Let's powder. We're doing the wet and wild 5-1 essence primer finish powder.

This is the best powder for knocking down the shine on my podcast. Okay. Mack syrup lipstick. And we have, what is this lip gloss? This is an essence lip gloss. It's like a $2 lip gloss. Okay. And we're drinking the cherry spin drift and we're having plain water in our Stanley Cup.

And I do have my cuticle oil in a pen. It's like a Sally Hanson cuticle oil for my cuticles because, yes, life update. I wore acrylics straight for, I wore acrylics for three straight years. Okay. that's what I meant to say. And I just had a moment where I was like, I just, I need to do this for me. Okay. Like I need to grow my, I need to grow my natural nails out for me.

I need to go on this journey. And the timing cannot be worse because like the last thing I want to, and I know myself, like I know I'm going to put put those press ons or get those press ons. Like if I'm not, okay, if this happens ahead of time. no no no I need to put press ons in my hospital back because knowing me like here's my I just I don't want to be like in my photos with like they're so cracked and brittle and chipped and like they're just not they're they look like I bite my nails you know because they're so thin and they anyways so like I don't want to be holding my newborn in pictures like

with the this being the nails situation I'd be fine if they like didn't have if they just weren't chipped and they were my natural nails I'd be told really fine with that, but they're just so, what my index finger cracked all the way, halfway down, a crack down the middle. Like, that's going to take three months to, like, grow off. So anyways, I have this cuticle oil. I have this nail strengthener or repair serum. I put on them every other day. Like, so that's what's on the nails. I have my cuticle oil. Um, but yeah, I'm probably going to just get, like, if I rush to the hospital right now, like, I would, I would door dash. I'm fucking like DoorDash press on nails.

I'd be, I'd be having a contraction, like putting on a press on nail. Like, I don't give, like, I'm not going to be a makeup in the hospital girlie. Like,

I don't think I'm going to have, like, no, like I don't think I'm doing that. I might bring like a brow gel and maybe a lip. Okay. I'm sorry,

but some of these videos of people doing a full face. I get it. Like, I do get it. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm built like that.

Like, I like to glam, but there's something about being on natural and you're in the hospital and you're giving birth and it's like your mother nature and it's like there's something weird about having like a lash strip on in that moment for me. Just for me. I just want to be my natural self with maybe I press on nail because this is this is not. I don't think I have time. They won't probably by the time it happens by the time the baby comes, I don't. don't think these are going to be at the level of health. They're not going to be camera ready.

My nails will not be camera ready by that time. I'm gunning for it. But like, anyways. So that's the makeup. That's the outfit. That's the, whatever, the hair, the drinks. I had a bacon go to sandwich this morning.

That was my breakfast. And then I do have a mini, kind of in the mood to eat this. A mini larabar. Peanut butter chocolate chip larabar. in my drawer here. For my snack with my blood sugar dips. So life updates. Okay, so we're in fall.

Okay, we're watching football. Go Seahawks, right? I'm in my feels. Okay, I'm in my feels. I love fall. I'm in my feels. Football is back. My crock pot is out.

Okay. I'm... Slowly but surely acquiring Like I'm building my pumpkin spice My pumpkin spice product cabinet Or my fucking what am I saying? I'm slowly

acquiring pumpkin spice goods For my kitchen Um I had a friend over she She brought maple flavored pumpkin something puffs from Trader Joe's. I told you about the English muffins, the pumpkin spice English muffins, having it in my coffee. Like, I'm just, I'm in my feels. And by the way, ideal time to have a baby.

Like football, cozy season. You're relaxing. You're like, it's dark early and it's going to rain a lot, I guess, here in California. It's like you're bundled up with your new. Like, I'm sorry. The vibes are right. So, yeah, I'm just so like, so happy that it's fall. but also it stresses me out that like that 2027 is three months away like what's going on like

and I thought I was a summer person but like after going through this heat wave in southern California for however many weeks straight I'm like like summer and I was pregnant so like summer's only fun when you're like when you like summer's fun when you like summer's fun when when is summer fun hold on let me think about this like I stayed in the air conditioning summer. I'm not tan. I didn't go to the beach. Like if you're going to if you're going to be it's a summer's a commitment because you're like yeah, it's a commitment. And like if you do all the activities, the summer activities, then you're then summer's fun, but you have to like, you can't just dabble. Like I feel like you have to do summer full on. I don't know how. I don't know if this makes sense.

I just wasn't in my summer era this summer if that makes sense. Like like the last couple summers, I'm like bikini, tan, like constantly laying out, like tiny, like, ozempic. Like, like, GLB, like, last year is my ozmpic summer. The summer before that, I was like prepping for a wedding. Like, I felt my, I was like feeling myself, right? I was like, mm, you know, and then I had like my new boobs last summer. My old ones were the summer before, which I, so like, you know, it was fun. And I'm like, so this summer just wasn't that vibe.

So that's why I'm like so excited about fall because I'm like, finally the heat's gone and the vibes are right and the seahawks are the seahawks are up or one and no shout out drew lock um sad about sam darnall i don't know i think he'll be out he's out for this next game i don't know how long he's going to be out um this is a seahawks podcast if you're not into the seahawks keep you know scroll ahead so so like hold on we need to talk about football Am I, I'm having a blood sugar dip. Okay, so hold on. Before we do that, we're going to have some food. 13 minutes till noon. I should be on maternity leave right now. Okay, but I'm going to push through and we're going to have a lara bar. I should be in a bath, doing breath work. But we're going to push through

and have a lara bar, okay? And we're going to Kiki for another hour and a half. I can feel it. We have another, I feel like I have another hour and a half in the tank. Thank you for being here with me. Let me get some There we go Intermission Eating in front of the microphone This Celsius is like Or no

This spin drift Celsius is what The Celsius is what I might See that was my subconscious Like it was like it wants a Celsius so bad This spin drift is The definition of mid Have I said crash out?

Yeah I said crash out Did I say that all right? mid these are words i don't actually say but i'm i'm using them to color the conversation okay we're using some jenzy slang to color the conversation this cherry one is not it okay i'm back let's talk about football okay so like first of all yeah this is a seahawks podcast like whatever it is what it is i okay can't stop watching these NFL player thirsts. trap highlight hype videos where they're in an interview they're talking their shit and then like roll the tape it's them catching a bunch of passes and scoring touchdowns it's them it's like

fucking like the trent williams ones first of all trent okay i'm i am saying this as a seahawks fan there are certain players from other teams that i am fucking obsessed with trend williams is one of them for the 49ers this man like I could watch the videos of all the guys they're like

the question was like who's the best player in the NFL or like whatever and then I think there's an they're all like Trent Trent Williams Trent Williams

who like hit you the hardest or who rocked your shit the hardest it's like Trent Williams Williams and then and then there's like this interview of him where he's like you know who's the best I'm the I am or whatever

he's like cocky about it and then like roll the tape. He's just, he's, don't they call him the refrigerator? I think I've talked about Trent Williams. A couple years ago during football season, I talked about him. Again, this is coming from a Seahawks fan. I can appreciate, I can appreciate. What is he an offensive tackle?

Offensive line? He's on the offense side, so he protects the quarterback. Oh, oh shit. And then the Miles Garrett footage of the Rams game, or the footage, the fucking. I guess there's this guy named Miles Garrett. You guys, I'm a girl talking on my ass about football, but like, like, I'm talking out my ass, but I know little things. I guess Miles Garrett is a big deal on the Rams now.

But in this first game, oh yeah, yeah, the Australia game. And I haven't talked about that whole shit show. But like, I guess during that game, like, he couldn't, is he an outside linebacker? What the fuck is? Is he a defensive? What is Miles Garrett's position? Is he a... Anyways, like, he couldn't get past Trump Williams.

And it was just... It's just... I don't know. It was just... What am I saying? I just... I love these videos. Like, I love seeing...

Oh, my God. You know who Corey put me on to is Randy Moss. I could watch Randy Moss highlights. and clips of him, like, it's all, that's my algorithm now. I'm scrolling TikTok. It's just like football player highlights, football player hype videos. There's, like, oh my God. And then I got on the depressing side, the AB videos.

A, AB videos. And then there's this player from, I think, the Browns who fucked him up really bad and, like, gave him, like, the career ending hit. who was that guy? He was like a dirty, he tackled. He was a dirty player from the Browns. I think he was, uh, yeah, anyway. So this is my rabbit hole. Like I'm just, okay.

Yeah. Hold on. Let me get back to my to do list. I'm like all over the place. Um, yeah, like, oh, back to the Seahawks. Drew Locke did his thing. Oh my God. He did his thing.

He did his thing. He fucking knows. The thing is, is when you're a backup quarterback, and he said it in the post game interview. Drew Locke said it in the post game interview. He's like, you know, they're like, what was in your head or what were you thinking? What was your strategy? Whatever they asked him like about going in for Sam Darnold when he got injured.

And he's like, protect the ball or like don't turn the ball over basically is what he said. He said a couple other things. But that was like music to my ears. Because the last thing, the worst thing ever is when a backup quarter. back goes in and immediately starts throwing interceptions. Like, it's just like such a backup quarterback thing to do. And so when your backup quarterback's main mission is to not turn the ball over, and like that's like his number one goal every time he is out, like every play.

Like, yes, like, go be conservative a little bit. Like, don't be crazy. Like, like, do the safe pass every fucking time because that's the last, like, it's the worst thing ever when it's just like it just immediately it yeah so he he makes me feel confident like drew lock makes me as a Seahawks fan makes me feel confident um yeah like I and I love his vibe like he's very um he has like an infectious personality like he's very um he's kind of funny He's very like, I don't know. He doesn't, he's not too serious.

Darnold is very square serious. Okay, but Drew Locke's more like fun. I don't know. He's like, he's like a vibe. I don't know. Like, I was like, I was like, I guess he could be our quarterback this season. He's not going. I know Sam Darnold will recover and get better.

But like, if he was, I'd be like, this is nice. Like he's like a better looking Drake May. Like they kind of looks, I was just watching the Broncos. Wait. Oh my God, the Chiefs game. Oh, my God, the Chiefs game. Oh, my God, Kenneth Walker. I'd like to take a moment of silence for the Seahawks fandom. Let's all bow in silence and in solidarity.

And release our pain. Let's release it. officially release our pain about losing Kenneth Walker to the chiefs because that fucking first game was so good. I'm like, they need to send us a gift basket, those chiefs. If they're not sending Schneider or whoever the fuck got, who got, they don't like get rid of them. They like, the player just goes away and they like pay them more money somewhere else. I guess. I don't know. He got his bag. He got a bigger bag at the chiefs or with the chiefs. So like, you can't really control that and like I guess if you offered them more you could

incentivize them to stay but anyways that was so good like he they look the chiefs look so dominant oh my god the chiefs look so dominant they looked I don't know if it was because the broncos are just I don't know what was going on I don't really follow the broncos it was just like wow the chiefs are fucking back like they're just hot and then like dialed And then, but Kenneth Walker. How many, he was just. And I said this. Okay, this is a sports podcast.

I don't give the fuck. It's, this is my passion. And it's something that, like, I cannot recommend enough. Like, don't get married. Okay, first of all, if you're a man. Okay. This is my dating advice for men right now. It's football season, right?

And this is going to sound like the most pick-me shit ever. I don't give a fuck. I have I have been I have been picked I am a pick me and I don't care about labels. I don't care about I am. Who I am and what I bring to the table, whatever. If you're a man, it is such a bonus if your woman is into football. Like it is such a bonus. If she can like talk, shop about it with you.

And in a non like trying to be cool way and a non like. like, no, like this bitch is grown up with following, she followed football growing up. She like knows the terminology. She understands the game. She, she's not like a dits about it or like she's not put off by it. Like where it's like, he's watching football again. Like no, she's right there with you watching it. That's such a bonus.

So like feel it out. Like feel it out at first. When you're on a date with someone. Like get a, it's just so nice. I'm just saying this because that's something. that Corey and I share, like, we're, we nerd the fuck out. And he knows so, his, his hidden talent or whatever, his, like, the thing he's such a sleeper on is sports trivia or, like, history, like, remembering random facts about

players from the past. And, like, he can pull dates out of nowhere and, like, specific things that, like, he's, it's like his secret hidden talent other than singing, which I also say is, like, I don't think he wants people. Like, he's kind of shy about singing. But so, like, we just nerd out to, like, we can just, I mean, last night we were talking about, we were talking about over dinner, we're just like football this, football, that football. It was just the entire conversation.

And I just feel like as a merry couple, it's fun to have something where you both can contribute to it. And it's not like one person's hobby, which is fine. Like, it could be one person's thing, not the other. We have stuff like that. out, of course. Things that he's into that I'm not and vice versa. But like, when it comes to something that occupies so much of your goddamn time every fall,

like, and winter, like, it's nice when the, the wifey, or maybe you're the wife who's into football and your husband's not. Like, it works both ways. It's just nice. It's kind of like how we are with golf. Like we both, I mean, every weekend golf's on. Like, we're watching every fucking tournament every weekend and we're both into it. It's like the best, I don't know.

I just think it's, it's nice to have sports in common as a couple. And I don't think that's picked me to say that. But I'm hyped. I'm hyped. It's football season. I love this time of year. I love football. I did get a text from my mom saying she loves, she's like really into the Rams coach.

She likes Sean McVitt. And I'm like, that's where I draw the line. Yeah, he's probably fine. He's probably a great coach. I know he's a great coach. I know he's like extremely smart. or whatever, but like, as, I'm sorry, I can't say a single good thing about the Rams. I just can't and I won't.

And I don't like, I don't like LA teams in general. Like, they're just, it's annoying. Like, go back to, what was it, St. Louis? Like, it's annoying, I don't know. The chargers being there and the Rams, they're the same colors. It's like annoying. I don't care. The media just glazes them.

And it's like, what were they? They were supposed to be like the super team this year or whatever. Because Aaron Darnold and Miles Garrett are on the team now. And Aaron Darnold came out of retirement. I don't, I don't know. And he's apparently like, he's injured, I think. Or I don't know. But so, so like the media talked him up so much.

And then look at this first game in fucking Australia. Talk about boys versus men. what happened in that Australia game. Are you fucking kidding me? The 49ers show up a week before and they're like practicing and they're like, you know, probably a little jet lagged, but that's obviously to be expected. And the fucking Rams fly in, what was it like 24 hours before this game, wake up at 2 a.m. The game's at 10.30.

So the reason they woke up at 2 was to trick their body into thinking it's the morning because their optimal time to play a football game is like somewhere around 8 p. or whatever, like their body, optimal body performance. You get what I'm saying. So they like, and I'm like, it's so bitch. Like, it's so like they, the, it's like they, it's like they were, it's like a baby on their sleep schedule. Like they were really trying to like create this situation where they could trick the body

and like, no, because guess what, sitting on a plane for 15 hours, 17 hours, however long it takes to get to Australia from L.A.? Like, that sucks. That's going to take a couple days to, like, recover from just that alone, like, being in a plane for that long, that'll throw you off. So to go play a football game within 24 hours after that is like so, duh, you're going to get your shit rocked. And the 49ers are just like men about it. They're just like, we're going to show up. week before, get a couple of practices in, tell the guys to sleep as much as they can, or like, you know, like, whatever, like what you do when you travel.

And then, yeah, so, I'm a Seahawks fan, but I'm a 49ers fan. It's like, it's a weird, I'm like a 49ers. I respect that team. Like, I don't, it's our rival, right? But I, like, I can't, I love Olivia Colbo. Sorry, Sue.

me like I love Olivia Colpo I she is my queen and like I love the wags of the 49ers I've talked about this before I can't help myself um I like their players like they have a great team they have a great thing going there um and but yeah fuck the ramps I'm sorry can't say anything nice about them my mom sent me a text she's like I like this coach and I'm like sorry I can't I just hearted the message I was like I can't get behind you on this one. Okay, moving on. So, um, we went to a Padres game. Last time we spoke, spoke, I think, that night I was going to one. That was the night I went. Um, I think we had a, this is now sports podcast. What was this podcast before? A rodent podcast. I don't know. A pregnancy. We went to

a Padres game. Okay. Oh, we went to a friend's house for, they did like wine tasting and, It was just a get-together. And I met some new mamas. I met some new mamas. One had a four-month-old. One had a 10-month-old. And they were telling me all the things, which was so fun. Giving me all the tips.

And, you know, I love a good birth story. And boy, did they have some good birth stories or traumatic birth stories? I'm like, goddamn, women are, women are we're fucking amazing um yeah so that was fun um so yeah like i'm being social i'm going to football game or i'm going to baseball games i'm going to wine tasting i'm hosting parties i'm having people over um okay this is where we pivot do i want to get dark and talk about uh okay let's do a couple neighbor updates we have some new news, Sydney, Sweeney, whatever, and then we'll end it. I could end it now, but I'm not going to.

A couple neighbor updates, okay? I'll start with a fun one, okay? The elderly couple that the husband had a heart attack and the wife was like, like, kicking with the paramedics and like not even acting concerned at all because I think like, I'm like, what's her life insurance policy? Like, what's going on? Like, she seemed, I told the story. She, like, seemed way too chill about the situation. and her husband's like white in the face like in the back go like on the stretcher like getting wheeled out like getting loaded in the back of an ambulance and she's just like hands in the pockets in the driveway talking the paramedics very like very calm no look of concern and so that was so anyways this couple just got a new a brand new electric car and they love their electric car it's so cute

like the husband's good now like I think he's fine um uh yeah like we we go on walks we like pass by and I always like he always like touches his stomach and like points at me and then he's like it's like he points at me touches something like does like how much time on his wrist and it's like he wants to know like how when am i do and like i don't know um so they're really they're they're cute we like them um but they just got a new evy okay their first like you can they love their They love their electric car. You can just tell. They literally got a cover for it.

Like it's a fucking iPhone. Like they, they clean it like four times a week. And I think they love, they like, they love plugging it in. Like they, I think that's why they think it's so cool

that they can plug it into their, their garage. Like it's, I just, I'm always seeing them out with their new car and it's so cute. And the other day, like they definitely killed that battery because they had to get it towed.

And it was, the whole thing like the tow truck showed up but yeah so that's the that's the neighbor update over there um the cute old couple but you guys i really need to like censor what i'm about to say because i'm actually like speaking of having a person in my attic who's who's gonna murder me or potentially or being in fear of that um these these neighbors these other neighbors of ours okay i'm talking about the don't wash their car cars uh cars ever neighbors the don't landscape their front lawn at all after they rebuild their multi-million home neighbors okay um they're also kind of like I feel like the type of he just I don't know

they're they're strange and I don't know what's going on I don't want to I don't want to what's it called when you stir the pot you piss him off I don't I don't want to piss them off. Okay. Speaking of piss. There is now. Okay. So this is, I'm trying to paint a picture. I've already painted a picture about my neighborhood. Everyone takes pride. Okay. It's nice. We're talking the, I'm not going to explain. Okay. This is not a, this is a fluent neighborhood. Okay. I'll just say it like a fluent in southern California in a fluent neighborhood picture that. That's what we live in. And people take care of their. homes. I've said this before. Like our neighborhood is very much like it's out of a movie. Like people, it's like a storybook like movie. Um, everyone is very, things are prim and proper and polished around here and people take pride, right? Except my fucking neighbors that are literally next door. Like we just got unlucky, right? We just got unlucky. But we're so excited whatever they, they remodeled their whole house. It's done. Now they're not, but they, it's not done because their front lawn is in landscape. They didn't do

shit. They just, it was like a dirt path or it's just like a dirt patch where the, the weeds just grow. And then like once year, I think, I think they've done it once in the last year. They weed whack it. So like, it cuts it down all the, but it's not. There's no plants. There's no grass. There's no. Okay. The, the latest update is this. Okay. They did wash their cars by, by August, by the way. That was my prediction. I talked about this before. I always have to say when I talked about it before, but I've, I've, I've, I've totally, this, I've been keeping you in the loop, right? The neighborhood drama loop. So the lawn still is not landscaped. It's still full of weeds. The one weed they kept in front of their front window,

I'm talking quiet because I don't know if they can hear me. They can't, but like I'm scared. So the one weed they kept in front of their front window, it's flowering again. Okay. So they kept it because it had flowers on it, this one weed, right? They're like, oh, this will be, let's not weed whack this one because it has orange flowers. That's the size of a fucking rhododendrum now. It's now, now it's, I guess it's better than nothing, but it's, it's taking over their entire front window. Now it's like overgrowing on the side of their house. Like it's ruining their new paint job and their new siding.

Like it's just like what's going on. It's like up against it. It's like a vine groaning. It's so bad, you guys. they did wash their cars, I'll give them that. Now there is a piss stained king-sized mattress leaned up against their front fucking porch. Okay. And it's been there for a week.

So we're like, okay, it's been only been a week. They usually take their sweet-ass time with cleaning things up and making things nice around their house. Like, or in washing their cars, they take months, right? It's going to take months, right? For, potentially for this mattress to be hauled away. The thing about this piss stained mattress is that they fucking, instead of like getting this shit hauled away, calling a junk removal, like, whatever. You can't sell.

It was, okay, there's stains that happen on mattresses. You know, like you can get some bodily, like, just like the fluids. It's like when your pillow turns yellow. Like maybe it's just that, but I'd like to. my, it's giving pistain mattress. Okay, just like, the stain I saw, and as a former bedwetter, I can decipher what a piss stain is versus something else. And it was looking like a piss stain. Okay.

Like that happened and now they need to like fully get rid of their mattress. Because of course they don't clean anything and they don't know. I don't know. So the thing about the piss stain mattress is that they fucking, instead of like, yeah, getting rid of it, taking care of. pair of it. It's so it's like this. You walk up to the front of their house. Like let's say you're at Amazon deliverer, the mailman, hey, we're having friends over. You're coming to our house. Okay, but you're walking by this pissing mattress. It's been a week. They fucking, okay. Instead of getting rid of it. And I saw that pissing.

Okay. For a few days, that's what we, when we drive into our place, we can see the and we're just like it's still fucking there. How is it still there? We know why it's still there. It's because they don't, it takes them time to do everything. Way too much time. They took a fucking sheet from somewhere in their house and haphazardly. I'm talking like the most lazy tuck job I've ever seen or cover job.

they took a sheet from inside their house and haphazardly like covered the pistain with it. So now there's this sheet blowing off of it. It's not like nicely like if you're going to do it like cover the whole thing and like like square it off. It's like over the corner. It's like blowing off a little bit like off to the side. It's such a hot mess. And I'm like it's so disappointing. Okay.

So our landscaper yesterday I came over. and thank God the guy that lives there he this is how like you guys this isn't good like you're not supposed to you're supposed to be friends with your neighbors you're not supposed to talk shit but like this is good gossip for the podcast like and I don't plan on getting close to them because they're just whatever fuck I feel like this is too long now now I'm like oh my god I've been talking about them for too long and this is like not you're not supposed to do this okay but it's drama and it's like it's like neighborhood drama this is like good drama so our landscaper came over yesterday and And thank God that the guy, this house, he came out.

He wears like hiking boots. It's like, it's 90 degrees out. Like, you're always in hiking boots and like wool socks up to your knees. Like, it's just like, like, I only ever see him come outside. Like, instead of like coming outside with like, I don't know, flip flops on because you're just like coming outside to like at the mail, it's like always hiking boots and long wool socks up to the knees and like cargo shorts. It's so, I'm sorry. So I guess I didn't see this exchange because I stayed in the house. Corey came home from work to like deal with the, to like talk with our landscaper.

And I guess the guy came out. And by the way, our neighbors, the ones I'm talking shit on apologized about their front lawn. They're like, we're sorry. Like that did happen at one point. So they know. They know that. But I guess he came out and was like questioning like, what are you doing? like what's going on. You guys like building something. And like we're redoing a fence or our

landscaper's going to like do some stuff. And we have like a fence thing we're doing. And so I guess Corey told them that. And then I guess our landscaper chimed in. It was like, by the way, you know, we can fix up your front yard and like here's my card. And so thank God. Maybe that that will become something. But yeah, that's the drama of the neighborhood. And I need to move on. But the fucking Pistine mattress. The, I told, Cor, I'm like, I'm going to give them, I don't think we're going to, I think we're going to be seeing this through the holidays on their front porch. Like, I think, I think this isn't going away until 2027. I'm not seeing them moving it, like, realistically in the next three months. Oh my God. And the rain's going to come. And then the rain's going to, yeah. So, okay, so that's the neighbor update. Um, Earl meets world. I haven't watched it. Hold on. This is like news. Do I have any like videos I need to play? I haven't played a single video. I'll play a couple in a second. Um, so Alex Earl has a new Netflix series on

Netflix. I can do this. Like a reality family behind the scenes of her life show. And I guess this was like the big moment where she revealed what actually happened between her and Alex Cooper. And honestly, like, there's just not enough drama there for me. Like, I just, I didn't watch the show. I don't really, but I kind of heard what happened. And I'm like, this is enough. This wasn't a big deal. Like, I don't know.

I just, like, the tea wasn't as hot as I ever, like, it just wasn't. And I love that. I'm a, you know, Alex Earl can do no wrong type of person. Like, that's how my brain works. I've, um, ever since the Sophia thing, I've always had this like issue with Alice Cooper. Like I just can't like myself, I can't no matter how what she does, no matter how, no matter how, no matter how many diapers she gives away right now. She's like doing the baby list thing clearing registries. No matter how much charitable work she does.

No matter how many, you know, now she's doing like Mel Robbins advice. there's like clips of her giving advice like self, I don't even know, like relationship, it's just very like, who is this for? I don't know, it's like, shut up. Like just, I liked when you were raunchy and just off the cuff, you know. Anyway, so I've just never really, she's not, she's not my vibe. We have so much in common.

Like, I think we're going to pop a baby out like simultaneously, like within the same hour. Like we're probably on the exact same timeline. same age, similar upbringing. We both have a podcast, obviously drastically different. Married at the same time, about a house at the same time. Like we're kind of, oh, pregnant at the same time. So we're just like very similar in that way.

But I just don't get the best. And this is just vibes. Like until I meet her, I can't say this. Or I can't really confidently say this. But, you know, when you follow people online for a long time, you like, you get a a vibe for their character. Are you? Yeah, their character and what they're about and that's just me being honest and judgmental. Like I'm just saying like I'm judge, I'm judgey and if or me being judgey is me

being like, I don't really, she's not my favorite. Okay. Um, I have a lot of positive things that I could say about her too. Like there are so many things I could compliment. And I, I do, I have compliment in the past. Um, things about her that I wish I had. Um, but the whole Alex Earl thing back to that it was kind of nothing i guess it was just bad a bad oh no no for it was about like she got interviewed on call her daddy this is early on and when Alex went solo after the breakup with Sophia and she asked Alex Earl all these really sexual invasive questions about like are you an anal verge? and how many guys have you fucked your freshman year of college and like or and anyways all this stuff was like very

call her daddy uh appropriate technically because that's what call her daddy always was it was a high it was super raunchy and and sexual and so of course when you get interviewed on a show like that like that's what the topics are going to be but Alex Earle felt uncomfortable by it and was like hey can you remove this from the episode and instead of doing that Alex Cooper kept it in and it aired and I guess in the Netflix Alex Earle show. I guess her family didn't talk for like three months after that. It just was, it was shitty that Alex Cooper didn't honor that and take those parts out.

Because like, that's like 101 podcasting etiquette and how to like, it's how to have like, it's like the classy way to be when, when someone comes on your show and says something where they're not comfortable with it. Like, and a lot of people I respect.

in the podcasting world have come forward and said like anytime that's ever happened. I've been doing this for 20 years or 10 years. They've always cut it out. They don't even ask questions. And it sucks because it's the most viral, juicy part. But that's something that it's important. Because what's the, you know, it's just, it's like shitty. It's like, come on.

Like she's a young, how old was she at the time? Like, I don't know, barely. Was she even 21? Alex Earl when she was interviewed. I don't know. So anyways, that was like the drama and then she wasn't set up well with the Unwell Network with having a podcast producer and help. She kind of had to do it all of herself. I don't know. So I'm going to probably watch it at some point. Maybe not. But she just came out, Alex Earl. Let's like, let's watch something. She just came out with a new real actives skincare product. I believe it's called Be Calm, and here's the ad for it. People always ask me, how I still so calm? Things can get a little hectic, but go calm, keeps my skin calm, clear, and bright.

Ouch, I heard you left him on red. Oh, yeah, it does help with redness. The only thing I like it under my skin these days is a gentle blend of, Azaleic acid, nicinamide, and glycerin. It helps with smoothness too. Thanks, babe. Do things pull up from time to time? Sure.

But this serum keeps it from showing on my face and keeps me prepared for. Okay, this is long. I think at the end she's like, call her calm, which is like, people are saying like shade because it's like, call her daddy. I don't know. Love azaleic acid. Love niacinamide. I don't have any real active products in my collection yet.

Um, but I do plan on supporting my girl. Um, I, I should just reach out and get some PR. That'd be nice. Um, let me free load. Let me free load my way to this new product. Um, yeah, so Alex Earle's my queen and, um, I just, she's likable. There's something about her. It's like, People are like, she's also a mean girl. It's like mean girl, mean girl crime. And I'm like, Cooper's vibe just, it's like there's a, I think it's just like she has, I can't put my finger on it. It's almost like what happened with her when she was younger. And now she's like overcompensating by how she's acting as a woman in business.

It's like she's, I don't know. But she's pregnant. You're not supposed to come for pregnant women and talk your shit. But I will say this is pregnant. I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. So I guess I can, I get a pass, whatever. I just want all the best for everyone. And it's stupid social media drama that's like literally nothing. I wish it was like, like the drama could have been so much. I just, yeah. Anything else? Okay. So Sydney Sweeney. What's Trump doing? Hold on. Should I just, should I just check in on the, let's go from Alex Earl to Trump to Sydney Sweeney to this high rocks

athlete shitting themselves. That's like another podcast in itself. I don't actually, you guys, first of all, like the last time I checked in on Donald Trump, he was awarding like a 16 year old with a medal of honor for, what, what, what, the, what, did the kid do for pulling someone out of the wave, not the wave, like literally the waves, the surf, the high surf. He literally gave this kid like the high, like a literal medal of honor. I don't know what the award was, but it was like so dramatic. And I'm like, this is just another day at the office. Like, why is he being champion for, I mean, he, I guess it was like a dramatic, the most dramatic rescue of, I don't know. He's a lifeguard. Like, he did his job. It's not, like, I don't

know. But I have no idea what Trump's doing. I don't care. I feel like there's always like some funny headline and funny tea we could cover here, but I just do it. I just don't care. You guys, I don't know what's, I don't know anything right now. I don't know what's going on. I like what's what, what, what do I have? What pulse? What am I keeping my finger on the pulse of? Is that the term? what's like my honestly like Lindsay Glancy I'm kind of over it now like I had my fun I did my that's so fucked it's so fucked to even say that and I that's why people came from me like kind of I kept deleting all these clips I was posting because they're like you're a piece of shit this is an entertainment you son of a bitch I'm like I have the thing about me is that I am so

I'm self- I'm not afraid to admitting disgusting parts of myself and that's what makes me a great podcast host is I will admit that I found the Lindsay Clancy trial highly entertaining even though three kids were murdered I found the lore the theories people are coming up with online highly entertaining very stimulating um the the fucking fan fiction of it all I mean it was literally like crime porn or true crime porn it was like people concocting these theories about he wanted to get out go like get rid of his family and run away with a mistress and blah you know and then they were like and here's the evidence I have or like the backs that theory and then they would like go into the the history of Patrick Clancy and the Reddit he had a Reddit and there's like a Reddit that everyone found and like what he was posting on Reddit and so like I can admit but I I am also like the one of the main things I talk about here where I mention a lot here is that like part of being a human being now it's just it's a fact of life it's our reality now is is we're constantly like I don't even think are there two types of people like are there are there are there when it comes to cell phone addiction are there is there a group of people because it's hard for me to imagine because of the people I'm I'm around. And this is from all demographics, all ages, right? Like, I'm around a mixed bag of people.

And every single one of them, down to the four-year-olds, are addicted to technology. So I'm like, I don't think when I say this, I'm talking out of my ass because it's really hard for me to imagine a group of people that isn't plugged in. Like, that's actually, and like, please come forward. If you were one of these people, that's like my screen time is 10 minutes. I only take phone calls. and I only do texts. I don't have any social media. I know those people do exist, but it seems like the percentage is smaller and smaller.

And I'm sure that that's going to become like a thing. There's going to be like this pendulum shift. I don't know. People get off technology. They want privacy. They don't want to be on social media. I'm sure that's at some point. Or if it, if not now, oh my God, hold on.

I just realized. I think I have a rat's nest in the back of my neck from my hair. So what I'm saying, and again, I'm repeating myself, but I think it's obvious and, or, I mean, maybe not obvious. It's like, yeah, it's right in front of us. Like being a human being in the modern times is being, is like the baseline of that. Like what's just the norm to the day-to-day norm? It's being addicted to technology. you can't stop checking your phone, you can't stop looking at your Instagram, you can't stop watching

stupid videos, um, you can't stop checking your email or your texts or you're looking at stuff on your phone, you're Googling like, hey, I need this plumbing part for my bathroom sink. And then you're like over on your Amazon app and that's getting delivered the next day. And it's like, you're watching the ring camera footage of the delivery driver because now you have your house set up with like surveillance, because like that's now a thing. And like, and then also while you're on, your social media apps you're getting fed these like nonstop um these stories these nonstop you guys this is so cliche and obvious but like and you're it's like entertainment it's like oh a helicopter crashed in la la last night a news a news helicopter and like last week it was um the anniversary of charlie

Kirk getting shot in the neck and and fucking his statue being vandalized outside of the turning point headquarters I think is where they put it and then the 9-11 last week was the 9-11 25th anniversary and then KJ the Beerman's son the son of the real housewives what's her name the beermans the mom her son, KJ, just is in this in deep shit with the law because he essayed a minor that was like also a family member. Like that's also in the news. And then it's, so it's like always something right.

And it's like real life tragic events especially are constant like this Lindsay Clancy trial. Like a year ago it was like the Murdaugh trial. And it was like the fucking Idaho. murder. It's like there's always, you know, it's just always something. And then you find yourself going down the rabbit hole, watching the TikToks, getting everyone's take. And then now you're just like, it's like a movie or like following along a plot, a story. And it's like, you get swept up in it. And it's all like at the end of the day, what's the why behind it? Like, why are you so swept up? Swept up in it? Swepped. Because it's entertainment. It's literally like entertainment.

It's, it's, it's, every, when you open your phone and you see a new hot take about Lindsay Clancy, like, yeah, the Reddit, someone found the Reddit, I don't know. You're like, ah, it's like, it's like a dopamine hit. And so, anyways, um, I feel like I, this part of the episode I could cut out. I just said a bunch of like obvious bullshit. But, um, Sydney Sweeney's naked. Okay, we have that. Um, I, I think I should end with this. What's a Hill Yield? die on that nobody asked about. I love this. But, okay, here's Sydney Sweeney being hot on a basketball hoop and also with other sporting equipment covering her naked body. So here's the ad. Let's watch it. I think the only word you're going to hear for the next couple minutes is sports. Sports. Okay. So Sydney, Sweeney, everyone. Here we go. Think you know sports? Prove it. No big is just sports.

So they wanted to show just sports. You can trade this sport and this sport. How about this? This sport too. Or this? Sports. Nice swings. Sports.

Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. You can't trade this. I just look at here. No betting on wars or deaths. And no politics. Just you? Here takes. Sports. Sports. Okay. Sports. Novig. Sport.

Well, now you know it's just sports. That's all you bet on the Novig app. Novig? So, like, okay. Okay. We live in hell. So we live in hell because apparently there's something wrong with this ad. Like apparently this set this is setting women back 100 years. The feminists are pissed. That's Sidney Sweeney.

Sydney Sweeney is naked with sporting equipment. She's, her body is being used to advertise sports. A sports betting app. Okay. Everyone's pissed. And it's like, first of all, okay. So like I cannot have this conversation first of all. We need to establish something.

If you cannot admit that she looks good. Like just admit she looks hot. She looks good. The body's right. Like if you can't, if you can't bring yourself to acknowledge and admit that, that we, I can't have this conversation with you. Like this, we're not going to get anywhere. So we need to establish establish.

Let's establish that up front. Okay. Number one. Sydney Sweeney looks great. Okay. Sydney Sweeney is a sex symbol in this ad and that's what this is and she looks great. If you cannot admit that, if you cannot get yourself there mentally, like we can't, I, this, this conversation ends here.

Okay. Like, it's just not, it's not going to, you're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. Okay. Because then we're, we're talking about we're in outer space. we're not on this planet, okay, if you can't at least acknowledge, like, she looks great. Okay. The wighty tides even, like, she's in like male.

She's like wearing wighty tides and like, usually I'm not a fan of a full butt panty like that or like a full butt, you know, the line being cut on the ass like that. But like it looked nice. She looked nice. Okay, so that's number one. Number two, like, okay, first of all. The number one criticism is like this should have been a female athlete. This should not have been Sydney Sweeney.

Why didn't they, why didn't they use a female athlete to promote the Novig ad? Why did they use Sydney Sweeney? She's not an athlete. I don't understand. Why didn't they put an athlete in this ad instead? Okay. And what I have to say to that is that, well, I'm sorry, the female athletes all have dicks now and they're out there shitting themselves with no remorse no no self respect no dignity

no nothing like they they're shitting themselves the female athletes are shitting themselves they have dicks they're shitting themselves okay so um yeah and also they just hate sydney so like people have a problem this ad just don't like sydney sueney they've established that she's this sex symbol that they can't. can't stand or she's being used that way. Her body's being used to advertise things. Like it was like the American Eagle jeans ad. Now it's this. She's done a few of these types of ads. And they're just, they're being haters because they think it's like bad for, for women. And it's like, yeah, but the men, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the female athletes have dicks now.

Let's talk about that. Why aren't we like, they also, but those same women support that. They support the, the female athletes with dicks. And they probably see nothing wrong with, like, this woman shitting herself in the high rocks race. They probably think that's like liberation or like female empowerment or like a woman not giving into beauty standards that were upheld by the patriarchy or created by the patriarchy because she's now shit. She's shitting herself and she doesn't give a fuck. Like they probably support that too. So it's like, God forbid a. woman looks good in an ad and like uses and is the thing is the thing is is it's like it's like okay

first of all also those same women that have an issue with this ad i'm going after women because it's like that's all i'm hearing negative reviews from reviews from when it comes to this it's not the men the men are like the men the the the men that are the feminist men they have no game that this is how they get they try to like get laid they like they like act like they care about women's issues and like they go hardcore about like how this is wrong they go after the patriarchy and the man hater they're like man haters but they're also a man and it's like just like the feminist man haters it's like this weird thing they do so there's probably some men out there like that I'm pretty sure like the gays are probably the gays I don't know where they stand on this

but but but like five years ago Lizzo's bent over in a G string, like spread eagle on her fucking, their labia out on her fucking Instagram. Like, remember all those videos? And like, that was totally fine. Like, if Lizzo in that, during that era, I don't know what she looks like now was on the basketball hoop. Like, that would have been, like, female empowerment.

Like, in the same, like, naked, not in those outfits, naked, because Cindy Sweeney was naked. Same outfits covering her tits with, like, footballs, basketballs, like, baseballs, soccer. Like, I wish they bust out. And I do have two golf balls on set. I wish they did the golf balls over Sydney, Sweeney Snips. Like, that was a miss, in my opinion.

Like, that would have been the cherry on top. If I was creative directing that ad, there were, there would 100% be golf balls over her to start the ad. Like, let's like, let's start with a fucking. bang. I believe they started with, was it? Football's over the tits? Yeah. It should have been golf balls. Okay. I know it's football season. I'm sure that's why they did it. She swung a golf club. She had a nice, the sound effect was nice.

That was a nice, but she had a nice swing too. But, and then these are the same women. The women pissed off about this are the ones that are like, sex work is real work. and like only fans is amazing for women. And like, it's like, what are we doing? We just, we just hate Sydney Sweeney. Just admit you just don't like Sidney Sweeney. Just admit you can't stand her and you have a problem with her. Like, you can't say a single positive thing about her.

And I'm just like, it's always a hot chick too. Everyone goes for the hot chicks. They try to tear them down. And it's like, are you like, what planet do you live on? Because they're, this world, it takes all kinds. to like create a world. The world, there is a place for everyone in this world, okay? And one of those places or a place,

you guys, what time is it? I'm getting texts from Corey. Okay. The thing that makes our world beautiful is that there are hot people, there are ugly people there are fat people skinny people everyone in between right like there's people look different

like that's what makes our world beautiful okay and can we just all embrace that like sometimes there's going to be a hot chick who appears she's kind of like touching yourself like her hand like she's on a basketball hoop and her hands kind of in a suggestive position and I think there's like a basketball over her boop Like sometimes there's going to be a hot chick in that position on an ad, a sports betting ad,

who doesn't look like you, who maybe you don't like because she, whatever, she's always in your face and she's always being overly sexualized in your mind to sell something. And like sometimes that's going to happen. And that's okay. That that's okay. Like we, okay, women, this is not new. Sex symbols are not new. Sex selling products or using sex to sell products is not new. Okay.

We literally, this is how we kept the morale high during the war. Okay, I believe pinup girls and their, um, and photos of them were used in, during the, during the wars, they were, they were, they were, they were stapled. the barracks, um, where these military men slept to help keep their dicks hard so we could win the war. Like this was a, we needed, women were used, women's bodies were used to help us win the war, like to keep the morale high, to keep the dicks hard. Like, and can we just acknowledge also? Like, let's put a pin in that and go over to the declining, um, birth rate and the testosterone being

as low, lower than it. ever been like we need more sex we need more sex I don't think we're there's enough I don't think there's it's it's like we're too buttoned up I know I know you might not think that because it's like look at the music videos now and like look at only fans and like everyone and like Instagram content being like so sexual now and like crazy and like just everything is sex sex sex but like I think it's I think it's a necessary part of life and I think it needs to be embraced and not, I don't know. There is like too much sexual content, I will say.

Like it's got, but like, I thought this was tasteful. I thought this was nice. I was like, shit. Hot chick doing hot chick things. Get your bag. Like I don't, she's laughing all the way to make. And the thing about her is, and the thing that is so true about her is that she's so self-aware.

She knows. She's not like, she's not like. she's like in on the joke about herself being a sex symbol that pisses everyone off who's always like whose personality is her tits like she's in on that she's you can just tell it's kind of like how you know i couldn't just for example refer to my tits as much in this episode if i was someone who was like i'm hot and i'm just hot and i have tits and that's all that's my personality. No, no, no.

It's like I'm acknowledging that I have them and I'm making jokes about them because it's like, I understand that it's weird to like have your tits out and to like, or it's not weird. You don't, but as a podcast, I'm trying to stay down to earth with the people here and not pretend like something isn't there, like these big old fucking tits of mine that are currently covered in so much goddamn body makeup because I'm bursting with veins because I'm way too many months pregnant. My circumference of my stomach is 43 centimeters. I think that that's the stat. I don't don't know if I gave it to you earlier. How far along are you on your pregnancy? Well, just know I measured my stomach and it was like from my waistline. It was like 43 inches.

So imagine that. Get your tape measures out. Get your tape whatever out. and measuring tapes out. That's what it is. Okay. So yeah, she's laughing all the way to bank. I think, who fucking cares? People get mad at everything,

especially when it's a hot chicken. It's so funny to me. I'm like, like, girls need to grow up knowing that, like, back in the day we had legally blonde, and that's when women would, young girls would watch movies and see a woman trying to be something and be somebody. And now they're seeing Sidney Sweeney naked on a basketball hoop.

And they're learning that it's all about like being a body. And that's what your value is. And it's nobody. Okay. The best fucking combo. Hi. The women that think this way. The best fucking combo is being both bitch.

Being naked on a. basketball hoop with great tits and a body that's like banging and also like being a fucking actress in Hollywood who is like killing it in the movie industry or what you're like dating a billionaire scooter brawn and you're like making so much money and like I think she just started her own production company or something I don't know she has like her lingerie line like huh? Like that's like what I would tell young girls because we live in a society. No, society. It's like what is that? What's that from? It's like why it's like we're lying to ourselves. We don't live in the world we live in. When we talk this way, it's like both can be true.

Like sex symbols are always going to be on our screens. They're always going to exist. It's always going to be part of our lives. Like it's not like all of a sudden everyone's going to be in a burqa. Like we don't live in that kind of society. Like we just don't. It's America. Okay. The women are naked in our sports betting ads because now everything's a sports betting ad. And they're selling, they're they're naked in the ads and they're they're selling a product. And that's what we do here. Let's not pretend like that's going to just girls are going to grow up and they're not going to see because that's never, huh? And why is it so bad?

Like, why is it so bad? She looked good. I'm like, that's enough for me. I'm like, she looked good. I love growing up and watching naked women on my, on my screens. Like, I loved watching the girls next door when they blur those tits and girls gone wild and they blur those tits on what was that MTV and the E network. I was just like, yes, women and women's empowerment, they're naked and they're happy and they're running around and they're sucking half off. And it's like, you know what?

Fuck yeah. Like, I don't care how you make your money, bitch. You look happy. Like, fuck. Like, do your thing. That's feminism, right? Like, I was just like a young girl, like, seeing like, also my mom being a, like, badass, like, executive, right?

Like, that was in my home. I'm seeing my mom being a boss, babe and, like, crushing it in that way. And other women in my life, like, doing that. It's like, I saw it all. Like, I don't think that. you can't one should be completely shut down and shun it's like no that it's so dumb because it's like it's always the women too with like six kids it's like you're fucking huh but you want it to be all buttoned up and you want it to be like behind closed doors and hush hush and we don't talk about it

and it's not in our face on our screens for our young daughters and that's not good for them like I do understand that it does get a little too much. I'm not the sex content interface, especially for young kids. And like now there's no tween era. There's no tween age. It's all, it's like they go from being a kid to like a teenager and they're doing their makeup and their skin care like they're in their 30s now when they're 12. and it's like you see

sixth graders walking around and you're like, whoa, like they're overly, they've definitely been exposed to some mature content for their age. Like they're not, they're not like awkward anymore. It's because they have Instagram. They know how to like do their hair and makeup now.

Like, like, I'm brushing my hair because I do think it's like a rat's nest. And so, you know, like I think that's not great. But I'm sorry. This ad was for men, okay? This ad was for men. It was selling to men. Who was their audience?

They did their job right. Men who want to bet on sports. Okay? Men who want to bet on sports. Okay, that was her target audience. And we don't need to go into the rabbit hole of like, young girls are going to see this. It is on her. If they follow her on Instagram, it is on Cini's Instagram.

So if young girls are following Ciney's Instagram. So if young girls are following Sydney Sweeney because they watch, like what movie, because they watched euphoria. Okay. But I don't know. Don't give your kid fucking social media then. Don't, you know what I mean? Like keep them off social media.

Then that's like stupid to assume that, I don't know. This is getting long-winded. I will always defend a hobbage doing hobbitish things. I think it's a necessary part of life in our world. our world needs it. Like we need it. We need more of it. And I think as a woman, I think this is a really good litmus test or whatever, like a good

personal check-in because no one hates women more than women. Like women always tear other women down. It's like very, that's just what it is. Okay. Like I've been around the block enough to know that girls, there are girls girls. There are like, and I hate that term, but like they're, when you meet them, you know that you can just like sense it. And then there are, there's everyone else, right? And I think a good test is when you see something like this.

Like when you see, it doesn't have to be an ad. It could just be like a hot chick on Instagram or like, whatever. You see someone not on your TV who looks like I'm just, anytime you see a hot chick. like this is the test. Just check in with yourself. Like is your initial reaction like, wow, she looks great? Or is it like she had so much work done? It's always that. She's so fake. Like she got, look at all that filler. She got her lips filled and her tits filled and her ass filled. And she's all fake. And it's like you're just like immediately bitter and just like commenting on like what's wrong with her. And you don't just see it and just admire the beauty and just like, wow,

looks great and move on with your life, like, check in with that. Like, that's something isn't, that's, that's not a healthy way to react, in my opinion. That's not a healthy way to react because who cares? Like, I don't, I know we are, I know people judge and it's like we can't help ourselves. We're human. But if your judgment of someone who objectively is pleasant to look at and looks, like, oh, they have beautiful hair and skin and their makeup looks great and they're fit and they dress well, whatever. If it's to tear that person down and to come up with like what's

wrong with them or, or especially to say, oh, but all the work they've had done and they're never satisfied. It's always like, oh, they're chasing something. They'll never be satisfied. They're actually miserable. They hate themselves. That's why they do all this work. It's because they're miserable. It's like, shut the fuck up. Like, shut the fuck. Like, the, like, who cares what they decide to do with their body and their life? Like, it has nothing to do with you. And you're just projecting, like, I always find that women that, like, tear other women down and always have something negative to say, especially about the work they have done or, or it's always, like, women who, they're just, like, not in tune with their, I can't explain it.

Like, they've just never really figured out. like they've never had a glow up or whatever or like they never really like found their sauce like their personal like they're it's not about like sexuality it's like they've never really found their what's the vibe like their their aura i don't know they're the ones that are quick to do this and it's like take notes pitch like i always say like not if you can't beat them join them it's not that it's like you would benefit from maybe like getting a ball like that. If you're like, fuck her hair, she gets, she hates her. She has extensions or whatever. I don't know. Or like, her teeth are so white. It looks like she got veneers and it's like white strips. It's like,

just go get your white, go get white strips. Just go do what she did. She looks great. Get white strips. And like, shut up. Oh, her forehead doesn't move and go get Botox. Like, shut up and go just go get Botox. Like, take notes. That's what, that's what success is all about. And if, if beauty to you, matters, which to me it matters if you can't fucking tell. Like, it's literally, no, I'm kidding. The thing is, is it's not, it's given being, but being like a hot chick, for example, is a hobby. Okay, that's like a full on, like, that's a constant side project, like being a hot chick.

Like, the maintenance of being a hot chick is literally like a hobby. Like, there are things you can do. You have your base. You have your natural giving. God, naturally God-given beauty that he created you with and that is who you are. And like, you can do little things to like enhance that and to like, it's just like taking care of your skin. These are all the obvious things like having, you know, nice nails.

Like it's a bitter, it's a sore subject for me right now. Like, you know what I mean? Just like little things. And you see people where it's like, damn, if they just like, maybe pluck their brows a little differently or filled them in a little differently or figured out which colors look better on them when they get dressed like those little things would make them look it's not about being like a quote-unquote hot chick but like better right but those are the ones that are just like trolls under the bridge like fuck sidney sweeney

fuck the patriarchy like this is setting women back also like men and men can or women can have dicks in sports, it's okay. And also, like, women can shit themselves in sports. Corey's calling. I need to end the episode. Hi, honey. I'm listening. Hope it well. I'm still going. Yeah. Okay. I'm still live on hour three. I don't think so. I think two, but I need to end it. Like, I just went on a rant about Sidney's Sweetie's tits. I could. But I just want to let you know, I am listening. And I have, I haven't heard anything, but I am listening. I hope. But we'll see. we will see we will see um how are you feeling um i'm having a blood sugar dip but i'm okay i'm gonna end in like five minutes all right wrap it up yeah i need to like actually end it okay i love you

okay bye bye that's another thing oh my god if you're back to the male advice for men or just like being able to be a couple and like like talk about finding other people attractive or like, like appreciating. Like we were watching this reality show and this one girl was a contestant and she was clearly like the one that was like she had the X factor. She was just like, I don't know, explain it. She was just like, we both were like, yeah, she's like the hot one. She's not all about it's not all about being hot.

It's like all I care about like clearly. Like what the fuck? It's like I'm trying to you get. I know the ones that get my message like get my message. I don't have to explain myself, but, and I was just like, oh my God. Like, we were watching like a cheerleader, like, for the Raiders or something or like Dallas Cowboys the other day. And it was just like, ah, like we can like talk about it. And it's not like this thing.

It's like there's no. And that's not me being like chill and cool. Like he's not like at, I'm not like go to the strip club and like, you know, I'm not like one of those people that's like everything's okay. You can look and you can, like, of course you can look. But like there's a, I do have a line. But I just think it's refreshing and nice to be like, probably for a guy. I don't know. It's just also how I am.

I appreciate beauty. I see it and I don't get jealous and bitter and weird about it. I'm just like, I hype it up. And that's my first reaction because it's like, what's the point to make a, go in your head about, like, listen to this. Oh my God. I think I did save it. Like listen to like, I got through like 10 seconds of this and I had to like click out because I was like, it's like this kind of shit. I do not take men seriously that are avid watchers of sports. And the reason being is because I wholeheartedly believe that the patriarchy puts sports

into play to commodify men's time into pavlov condition women into performing for closeness to access men's time when it is being occupied what in the fuck are we talking about like shit like that I'm like oh my god I hate the internet like we live in hell I'm just I don't have time for it um but yeah I think back to what I was saying like being maintaining your appearance like looking nice, all that is, it takes effort. And I think, I think that's the jealousy, bitter, weird comment thing that, um, like hot chicks get or the reason the why behind it is because it's like, you know how, you, women know it takes effort.

Women know it takes time. Women know it takes discipline. Women know it. And when they see another girl, like crushing it on all levels in the appearance department, whether it's like fake or not, like, whether it's a facelift or not, whether it's fake tits or not, they, it's like they're, they're mad about it because they themselves don't have the, they don't have it within them to like do it too. Like they're like, they're, they know they're not to say they're lazy, but they don't, they're just not built like that. It's like when

you meet a girl and she's like, I can, I don't know how to do my makeup. I don't know. am I doing my hair. I'm too busy. It's like, no, like the girls that know how to do their makeup and hair nice and their nails and this and that. They spend time. It takes effort in time to research, to learn, to watch a tutorial, to practice. And that, that isn't just given by God. Like, you're not, you're not just given a fucking, a winged eyeliner. Like, that's something you have to put on and learn how to do nice. So I think that's what it is. And, um, I just, it's hard for me to relate to when I just, I've always been like, and that's when I know, when I meet a girl who gets it and he's just like, they value the same things I value in this

department. It's like, oh, thank God. I don't have to be like, I don't have to like downplay that, you know, I need to, I don't know, like, like, you know, I've had friends and they've admitted jealousy. They're like, yeah, like, I wish I had your discipline or whatever. like where I was like going to the gym too much and that was a problem or like I was they were annoyed by my egg whites I would eat before a Vegas trip like stuff like that and it's like you just we're not the same and that's okay but um don't be weird towards me and and and like don't just take notes that's the thing with success so success back to what I was saying like any any avenue or any um and the episode.

end the episode. It leaves clues, bitch. Like it leaves clues. Success leaves clues. Hot bitches leave clues. There's a way to be a hot bitch. You just have to follow the clues and then do what they do. And then you'll be a hot bitch.

Like it doesn't perfectly work like that. But there are certain things that can help help you. Certain little like, it's like the Hot Girl trilogy we talk about all the time here. Hair tan nails. Hair tan nails. Nice hair. Tan is like just have your skin nice. You don't have to be tan.

But like a little glow. doesn't matter your skin color, a little shimmer little glow, healthy looking skin, and have your nails nice. Really sore subject, because mine are not nice right now, and this hurts my heart, but I'm doing this for me. Like, I really want to grow them. And yeah, you get the idea. It's kind of like, you know how I repeat myself a lot with, like, alcohol and like my

drinking and like, I always tell the same stories. I repeated myself about that. There's another thing. I feel like the hot girl thing. I do kind of repeat myself a lot about. But with a Sydney, Sweeney ad, I can't help myself because here we go again.

You know, it's like it's always a problem. There's, and it's like, it's only okay and it's only champion when the girl is like average looking or fat. And then it's like, we can all just like,

cheer her on. But the second she goes, she's in the hot girl category and she has tits. Fuck her, right? like immediately fuck her you can't win and that's why i think it's like that's what being it's it's lonely at the top when you when you have like you're built like that you look like city sweetie because it's like you can't win like i wish we could all collectively decide that tits are amazing we want to see more of them we want more ads with them in them and they make us happy and

you know can we just all admit that? Once we get there, I think we can like heal society. That will bring the Democrats and Republicans together. Tits. Tits will do that. Like if we can acknowledge and admit that we love tits as a society and we don't see a problem with them being flashed in our face in these ads. Like if we could all get to that place, oh, we'd heal. We'd heal.

We'd so heal. And that is my thesis. That is my, I believe in that. That's my cause. I think God might work back to that. We've got to, we're going to be, um, they'll be going on a journey shortly here and I'm very excited for this journey. Let me wrap the episode.

We talked about, I don't even know. We didn't even get to the, the high rocks running, the high rocks athlete. What a psychopath. I'm sorry. If you shit yourself anywhere, it doesn't have to be a high rocks race and you, and you don't immediately hide from, like, if you don't immediately, if you shit yourself in public and you don't immediately hide, take cover and remove yourself from other people's eyeballs, if that's not your first reaction, you're a psychopath.

path. Like you, you're going to, they need to be on a watch list. That's psycho, what's her name? Aussie athlete. God, what's her name? Joanna, weird, weird last name. White tricks, white, W-I-E-T-R-Z-Y-K. She shit herself, kept a moving. I believe she won the race.

She cares way too much about how. high rocks. We've talked about high rocks before. I think this is where high rocks ends. I think this isn't, this is, we've, we've seen enough. Okay. I've already seen enough high rocks in the last couple years or so. This was my final, this is my last straw. I mean, the, she has no dignity, no respect. Talk about. The most self-absorbed piece of shit, I mean, person. I, I, to think that's okay to, to, and there are people defending her. There are people defending her.

There are people defending her. I can't get. There are people saying this was okay. There are people saying this was okay. Like, huh? I hope people, I hope there's a lawsuit. She's a psychopath. Like who, what, if, if you're first.

reaction isn't to hide to take cover to go away to I would never be seen again I would I've had I've had I'm trying to think like I remember the first time no I don't I'm not going to tell the first time I got my period at school story right now I'm no better than she is I'm just as gross I fucking taped a tampon to my leg that I didn't know how to use with medical tape from our first first aid kit in our kitchen. I taped a tampon. I took the wrapper off because I didn't want that to crinkle underneath my Catholic school scort. I didn't want the tampon wrapper to crinkle underneath my Catholic school scort. So I removed, it's probably not sanitary.

I removed the tampon wrapper and taped the tampon to my thigh. And I think I also had a backup pad taped to my thigh also because this was the first time I got my period at school. I was in eighth grade. So I was like kind of older. Like I was still a kid, but like that's like kind of old. And the reason for that is because I was thinking ahead. Like if I have an oh shit I need to change my. I was using a pad at the time. I didn't even know how to use a tampon, but I was like, fuck it. I'm going to figure this out today. If I feel like I need to go to the bathroom and change this,

because like wearing a pad makes you feel like you're bleeding out at all times like I never feel comfortable wearing a pad where I'm like yeah like I'm not bleeding through this and I know I haven't I don't have a heavy period I never have but like when I was younger I did though when I was younger at first I did I'm no better than this high rocks athlete I'm disgusting I'm fucking dying bleeding out though with your period is different than shitting yourself like we're on two different planets here so I was thinking ahead like if I have to go to the bathroom. First of all, I don't want this to crinkle underneath my scort. I wear a Navy squirt to school. I don't want to, hey, teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Get up. Go to my backpack.

Pull out some paraphernalia, some female crinkle, crinkle, here's my tampon and like walk to the bathroom. Like no one could see. I had to just go stealth mode from my desk to the bathroom without making it look like I'm grabbing anything out of my backpack because I was so like embarrassed right long story short I did not figure out how to use that tampon I definitely didn't the the direction I was shooting it like was painful it was like not doing this um and then pad it was and then that was hell like figuring out changing your tampon at school and like your oh my god I This is getting too long. I'm getting hot. What's the temperature?

Okay. So, yeah, Joanna. Joanna. Hirox is so stupid. It's just, and this is coming from a former, like, CrossFit is a cool shit in the world. Like, I was a hardcore crossfitter for, but, but then I, I, like, tapped out of CrossFit, like, when it stopped becoming, when it started being annoying. Like, it got to a point where it was like, this is annoying now to be a crossfitter. Or to like, like, it just changed. Like, CrossFit changed. It wasn't the same anymore. Um, and now Hirocks.

I think that's it. Do I have, oh, we were going to do fall trend report. No. Oh, the. What's a Hill you're, you will die on that nobody or that no one asked you about? Hold on. Like, let's read these. Okay, so these are people's comments.

What's a hill you? will die on that nobody asked about. Okay, here's top comment. 18 is not an adult. Yeah. And I'm going to be like, agree or disagree. Agree. Apple music should be free on all on Apple devices. I don't use Apple music. Never have. I don't care.

Having to pay to park at the hospital is diabolical. Well, as someone who's doing that a lot now, I think pregnant women should never have to pay. I did get a sneaky little pass, though, that was supposed to, like, get me free parking at the hospital for a year. And, like, it's not working. But, yeah, I think having to park at the hospital, especially for pregnant women, yes, I agree with that, is diabolical. Bullying someone into suicide, can I say it?

Offing themselves should count as... It's so dumb how we have to do that. Suicide. Can you not say, I'm not monetized, I don't care. Suicide should count, or like on YouTube, like, I don't know. She count as a murder charge. Kind of agree with that one. Well, yeah.

Water should be free. Sanitary products for women should be provided everywhere. No politicians over 70 mandatory age limit. Yeah, I agree with that one. The weekend should be at least three days. Yeah, I'm a big fan of the four-day work week. Yes. Yeah, anyone charged with animal abuse should never be allowed to own an animal again.

Yeah, I'm hardcore on that one. Having a Braxton Hicks contraction, oh, God. I need to end the episode. Things are feeling tight in my... He's like... The baby's like... Wrap it up! He's gonna know my voice very well.

Like, I'm very... He's... Yeah. Oh, he's kicking now. He's like, wrap it up for real. Hold on a couple more. radiatory pasta is the best pasta shape. All the pasta shapes.

Blake Lively and Kate Hudson look exactly the fucking same, I guess. Okay. That's the episode. Thank you so much for hanging out. Please hit that subscribe button wherever you listen right now. Oh my God. Have I done the plugs in a while? I don't even know if I can get this out.

I need to take a bath and deep breathe and call the emergency pest control. Please sit that. And also take a shower and eat lunch. and hydrate more and pick out wallpaper, the bathroom wallpaper. It's like now I'm doing the guest bathroom. You know what I mean? Why am I doing the guest bathroom?

It's like it's not related to the baby, but I want it done. Please say that subscribe button wherever you're listening right now. I'm on Apple, Spotify, Google podcast, Stitcher, Breaker, Overcast. Wherever you listen to podcast, please set that subscribe button

and review the show five stars while you're there. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Jack Lemurrow. Subscribe to my YouTube channel. This is a video and audio podcast. subscribe to my YouTube channel and finally if you want to support the show Patreon.com slash TjMS

Patreon.com slash TjMS go check it out. It's $5 a month. Love you. Thanks for hanging out and I will talk to you next week. Bye.