The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 56- Survival Tips and Chill

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

Happy Thursday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey everybody, it's episode 56. Welcome back to the show. Hey guys, it's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. Happy Thursday. guess what I'm feeling so dangerous right now I'm feeling like the most daring podcast host of all time dude it's 6 30 p.m when I'm recording this and I normally do it in the morning and basically just checking in real quick I had a shit ton of work to do today and I decided I'll do it later and I didn't realize that I'd get anxiety and I don't really get like I don't get anxious about anything except I was eating some baby carrots five minutes ago like putting on Thursday night football eating baby carrots I'm like shit I haven't recorded

my show yet and then I was like maybe I should do a bedtime story podcast and wait till like 11 to do it but anyways this is your show today some days you're gonna get me in in the evening some days you'll get me in the morning I'm unpredictable I'm an unpredictable I don't know host I'm learning we're still learning okay I'm not going to shut up about that probably for the first two years all right I'm trying to figure this out but this is what I have for you today I came across a TikTok the reason I'm gonna do this is because I want to help you I don't have a lot of groundbreaking information to share with you in my life I have my curtains uh installed for my you know I told you guys I bought curtains this week that's pretty

much it uh what else i don't know i'm sitting on my couch i'm wearing a big hoodie and no pants uh the moon is out almost i can't tell you but i know it's gonna be full as shit because there's gonna be a full moon on halloween super spooky what else is going on i'm on my second french press pot of the day i've been just drinking coffee all day it is so bad i've need baby carrots and coffee all day god I can't even I have like something in the back of my throat it's probably a piece of carrot I need it I need to prepare my voice before I do this but yo I got anxiety I was like shit I gotta record this someone out there is like what the fuck if she does this seven days a week and it hasn't showed up in my inbox yet

anyways um but I have this tiktok to share with you guys I have a comment section of tiktok to share with you guys today because as an adult when I read this my heart just it it inflated so huge I was like there are good people in the world trying to help help each other out basically let me just play the beginning of the audio this is a podcast or excuse me a tiktok titled shit you should know things that everyone should know that we just don't like collectively there should be a book like a manual that says once you turn can you even hear that 16 or 18 like these are like life things okay this is a cliche thing people talk about like oh you know we did we were never taught this in school adults don't know what the fuck's going on you know they're in their 20s

figuring it all out it's like a second you know second childhood so anyways there's an entire comment section this girl her her username is relent relent lees i don't know she doesn't even have her first name on here but she prompted the people watching the tiktok to leave a comment about something helpful like adulting tips and honestly these are some bangers first one i'm sure you've never heard this in your life apparently fire extinguishers are supposed to be used to get you out of a fire not put the fire out use it as you go if your path has fire take it with you that's interesting so like obviously you can use it to put a fire out but if you're running through a building pack that bitch on your hip and like take it with you and then if you come

across a fire patch like it's gonna shoot I don't know the fire extinguisher will shield you that's see that's something personally I've never thought about and so now I'm bringing it to your attention let's learn together here's another thing oh I mean this isn't that helpful but it's not your server's fault if the restaurant is out of something just a heads up don't get frustrated I used to work in a Italian restaurant and I was a hostess so I never had to deal with like people bitching about the menu and the food and everything but I overheard a lot of shit like that and be nice to servers that's one of like the biggest I think everyone knows this if you don't know this yet the biggest turnoff for most people is how you treat the waiter or waitress on a date that

says a lot about you uh I just assume if the guy I'm on a date with if he if he's a jerk to the the waitress or the waiter I just assume he beats his dog like that's the equivalent like that's how I look at you if you're rude to service people people of service essential workers you know anyone even the cashier at the grocery store don't do it um this is like some karen shit but don't post pictures of of your vacation while on vacation wait until you're back so your empty house doesn't get robbed i'm just hey something to think about when you have a gut feeling it is actually a real instinct picking up on a threat our body senses certain pheromones of people trying to do harm i get so creeped out when i read that

because that happened to me before. Like, and I've heard, I know Whitney Cummings always talks about those fight or flight or those butterflies you feel are really like signals that you should run and like get away. It's not good. It's not, it's like adrenaline that's trying to save you, not actual chemistry. And so a lot of people get confused by that. And so I had an experience one time when I was dating someone where I remember that first instinct was like this feels a little bit creepy and anyways uh didn't find didn't figure it out for a few months you know what I mean but those first feelings you should listen to them this is a weird Thursday podcast guys how are you how are you doing I'm doing I'm trying my best okay I feel like let me check in with myself

real quick I know I just asked about you but like yo I keep mentioning how recently I've been really fulfilled and happy because I'm in alignment I have a hobby that I love so much I know it's the end of the day but I'm living for this right now I love I love doing this I like talking to you guys it's really exciting for me and then I also have a job where I'm like helping other people I'm connecting with other people it feels really good I feel like I have I'm having this boss bitch week that I wanted to have and I don't know it's cool like here I am you know on the other side of a shit storm in the beginning of 2020 and I can't I can't stop I don't know I mean I have this momentum going right now and it feels really good so but I feel stupid right now I'm

like Jesus Christ I need some liquid in my freaking mouth it sounds like it sounds like I have cotton mouth but i'm not high at all like i'm just drinking this french roast it's fucking french press coffee i get the good morning blend from trader joe's and it's not that good honestly i i miss i usually if i do french press or hot coffee i like to get a dark like major dickinson's peak coffees it it's so good i like it really dark and in a like deep what's the term for fucking coffee dark roast I don't know this is like a light roast blended it's all it's all right I iced it and it's it's so watered down but I don't know it just got me hydrated a little bit I sound congested oh my god dude I can't people watch

tonight it's dark out what else oh today though I got so frustrated what was I talking about I'm gonna go back to the tiktok comments help you and teach you guys more shit but yo I got so frustrated today. I was like, let me check in with you guys about the conspiracy of my conspiracy theory about the waste management system in San Diego. I said really early on when I was podcasting that ever since I moved to the city, I've noticed the dump trucks show up seven days a week. I'm not even kidding. Like I've documented it. I have photos Sunday, Monday, Tuesday Wednesday Thursday they're collecting garbage they're collecting recycling it's like this shit show every day I hear like these noises from these big trucks and today obviously it's

Thursday and I feel like Thursday is when instead of just having the everyday pickup like they normally do which is not normal okay most places I've lived pick up garbage once a week it seems like on Thursday they send in reinforcement they send in the reinforcement there's like instead of you know one or two trucks coming down my street it's like 18 all day long i had dump trucks being super fucking annoying and you know what shout out to the waste management uh workers out there i mean that's that's a dirty job okay i used to watch that show on discovery channel i think it was with what was his name rob dirty jobs you know what i'm talking about he'd go like clean up cow shit and work in dirty places and uh I think he did a garbage truck run one time but like respect

okay here I am bitching about it it's because of the noise like it gets under my skin I don't know I'm not I feel like if I was truly happy that wouldn't bother me I'd be like oh it's you know it's garbage day I love life you know no I get annoyed by it super frustrated but that's kind of what happened today. Um, I don't know. I just feel like telling you guys random shit. I'm like staring at some recycling that I need to take out. And, uh, my lilies bloomed, my flowers bloomed. I have a new spike coming out of my bird of paradise tree. Life is good. I'm really sad though. I have a, an herb garden growing. Okay. This is like some random shit, but I have uh they're not sprouting is why I'm saying this but I position I have this

spot behind my tv that's like perfectly lit by the window that I put my herb garden like I have these little tiny pots with my rosemary and thyme and basil all this shit and it's so like ratchet looking so I finally if you can kind of see it under my tv when I watch tv so I found these black. It looks like a sound bar, which I'm going to get a sound bar for my TV. I don't have one yet, but I put these black, this floating shelf. I found this black floating shelf across the bottom and it looks like it's supposed to be like that. And it covers the plants in the back. So anyways, I think my sister used to make fun of me when she visited me in the summer. She's like, what the fuck is this? I have these plants behind my TV. Hey, it's called living in a city. Okay.

I'm a farmer I'm a I'm a city farmer I'm really looking at new like I've been on uh what's it called pinterest.com is that what the title is but I've been looking at plant inspo because I really want to feel like I live in a forest especially in my bedroom I want a lot of plants around my bed just feel like that would feel cool anyways back to the tiktok comments let's learn some shit and then I'm gonna wrap this up because I gotta get back to work I gotta I don't know shower I want to like put on a bunch of um body butter shit tonight it's been so cold here at night so I feel like my skin's drying out I just need like a deep moisturizing evening what am I saying okay so apparently if you ever break glass

sweep it up then take bread oh my okay guys we're learning some shit right now holy fuck 5 000 likes on this comment if you ever break glass sweep it up then take bread and pat the area to get the little tiny bits that the broom couldn't get what the fuck you just take a slice of bread and wait why wouldn't you just take a little vacuum and suck it up or like what would i do what do i do when i break glass depends because like if you break a plate you can kind of get all the chunks but if it's a if it if it's really like if it's fiberglass teeny little particles that's tough i hey test that out send me a dm if you try that um oh this is some life-saving shit the headrests in your car come out so you can use

the metal rods to break the window in case you need to get in case you end up in a body of water something tells me this woman's had to do that before who the fuck would like think of pulling out I guess is that well they do have those metal rods but I feel like that's just how the design is I feel like this woman got really innovative when she was drowning in water like she crashed her car in some water and uh figured that out dude she's saving lives shout out Jordan Hess 89 25,000 comment or likes on that comment it's because she's she's out there trying to help people like help she's saving lives with that did that get the most likes it's crazy how many likes comments get on TikTok I feel like it's all bullshit I don't

I see TikTok numbers it doesn't make any sense to me like views likes followers like isn't Charlie Amelia has, she's almost a hundred million or something in like a year. Um, someone, this is like the waitress or waiter one. Cashiers don't make the prices. They make minimum wage and they put a bunch of those megaphone emojis around it. Okay. Okay. Um, food blogs, people write the ridiculous stories before the recipes because the google algorithm favors posts that are 1500 to 2000 words interesting if you know anything about seo like search engine optimization that makes sense but see that's annoying like i don't like that kind of stuff when you know in terms of like website building and make and like seo and everything where you have to do

extra shit like that like write more write a little bullshit story before a recipe it's like if I have a if I'm a chef or if I have a food blog I just want to show off I don't know I feel like it's more personal and cute when you have a little story about the recipe but sometimes it's like here's the bomb recipe just here watch a video about it on my on my Instagram or something and then I don't know because I get annoyed when I when I see recipe blogs I have to scroll so long dude I'm I'm a short attention span gnat I'm a I'm a little flea I don't I don't like I get it's stupid like I don't like to scroll a lot my thumbs get burnt out I'll be honest I feel like that's what's happening I'm just getting like I don't like oh my newest frustration

not only scrolling on food blogs and shit I don't like look at a lot of recipes but when I do I do notice that and I'd have to refresh the page and scroll down again it's annoying but my latest pet peeve is every time I go to Instagram there's a video playing it's like the first thing is video it's like instagram and it's not like a real thing it's like someone you know like world star or whatever the fuck um what's the other one i always see oh barstool like the first video instagram or first thing instagram shows is a video and it's always the the sound's always on and then if i stop the sound when i watch a story i can't hear the sound i have to turn the sound back up and it's this dance i have to do and i just get real frustrated i'm like all i want in

life is real-time photos coming in well videos too whatever but like just do everything real time fuck the algorithm I'm so sick of it I want it to be 2012 again okay I miss that shit I miss when you would see everyone's posts as they came in that makes sense to me like I'm not as a tech nerd I'm not like that but I feel like the algorithm just it's not it's not the way I feel like it's not it's not it it thinks it's showing you what you want to see but all I want to see is because my OCD brain or my like organization I want everything to be make sense brain and I don't like when I don't like stupid shit my brain just wants to go like okay I've I've seen it all today instead of like random here's a video from four days ago and here's a picture from two hours ago

and it's like jumbled everywhere that makes me insane anyways back to the tiktok comments happy thursday episode 56 what the hell's going on i'm gonna wrap this in like five minutes this is gonna be a short and sweet episode thursday night check-in i'm feeling good gonna burn the midnight oil tonight i'm gonna do my little me night me time uh self-care night like get oiled or whatever. When I say body butter, wear my little bathroom and work till 3am. Dude, I'm such a productive millennial. I feel so good about, about myself. It's all about feeling good about yourself and pushing yourself, sucking it up. And there's a lot of ways, like, I don't know what you guys do for a living, but sometimes you can be chilling

while you work. Like I I'm on my couch. I don't have to be in a suit and tie right now. It's kind of sweet so shout out to my job for being awesome um I mean nobody gives a fuck about these chocolate chip cookies having half brown sugar and half white sugar that's like no one cares um by the way there's some foods out there that are perfect and I was thinking about that the other day and I and I remembered I was like they're just like you can't argue a chocolate chip cookie is perfect. There's nothing wrong with it. And I was thinking about other foods and I'm like, they're not, it's not it. Key lime pie, that's not it. It's not a perfect food. It's not a universal throw it in people's faces and everyone's going to like it food. But there's

some foods out there where it's like pizza, chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, boom, perfect foods. Oreos. Like there's, as I get older, I'm becoming more of a purist about food. Like I just want simple shit like the basic bitch stuff I don't need like I don't I feel like when I was first on my own in adulthood I was like getting fancy and I was well I was trying to be vegan and I was doing all this obnoxious like banana ice cream shit and I don't know like so many lentils and bullshit and now I'm like like I would spend so much time making this vegan food that tasted like ass and it and I got headaches I wasn't eating enough fat and I got headaches and I got confused like oh this is supposed to make me feel good and anyways guys I have a lot

to share with you about my life okay let's let's learn something else there's an alarm going off oh my god this is so dumb I don't like this shit when you're done with your curling curling iron yell out yell out loud I'm plugging my curling iron and you won't have did I forget to unplug it two hours later at work I've done that before come home and your curler your straightener still on that's that's a sketchy that's a that's sketchy but I mean I talk to myself as it is so I wouldn't be that uncomfortable with that but just like looking at the profile picture and the person who commented this no judgment but like judgment this is something I'd expect a person like this

to do like this person would probably also I don't want to say it like what's some like bullshit thing i can think of right now she would have labels on all of her shit too and like i don't know i'm a stereotyper cancel me i don't give a fuck um this thing has 6 000 comments do you want to state how late how long should i make the show oh moss only grows on the north side of trees oh fuck this is guys life-saving information if you're lost in the woods north is the direction moss is facing why am i having a flashback from childhood like i learned this in the forest one time on like a field trip so that's cool

i like that this is a good comment section this is like a reddit thread or whatever the fuck um if you want to find someone's mugshot search on bing because google purposely suppresses search results with mugshots in them okay i'm not like googling mugshots but anyways um clean from top to bottom dust top shelves wipe cabinets then do floors okay so adults out there attention clean so she said do like shelves countertops cabinets then floors like honestly that is overthinking it okay I do when I clean my house I move based on emotion okay I'm like what do what what's a good warm-up here and I feel like the warm-up to get my body moving is always sweeping I almost I usually do

sweeping and our dishes sweeping I go all over the place then I'll do the wipe downs all the surfaces and I bounce between rooms the bathroom is is a whole fucking ordeal in fact guys I haven't been honest about this let me set the stage right now a few weeks ago I bitched about my fucking tiles and how I hate cleaning them and that it's such a I the might the resistance I feel in my body towards cleaning my shower tiles is like it's it's similar to I don't know going into the DMV it's like I dread the fuck out of it okay and currently it's uh it's looking like a single 18 year old boy going off to college for the first time's fucking shower tiles okay not proud of it I'm a clean person everywhere in my house when it comes to my shower like I'll

clean my toilet I'll clean my sink it takes me a second when it comes to the shower that shit I'll let that fuzzy or what the film cake up for a month okay it's usually like a once a month thing and I am so past due right now. Anyways, who, who, who likes bending over and scrubbing shower tiles? And it's so, it takes so much upper body strength because I got these little tiles and there's so many corners. Like I have to go in the grout. I got this Rubbermaid, I think it is a Rubbermaid scrubber I got at the grocery store. It's really good because the bristles are really stiff but it's a back-breaking activity and like i don't know i just what's tomorrow maybe i'll do it saturday happy halloween i'm scrubbing my fucking shower tiles um back to the comments

when you're the first car in line at a red light look both ways okay this is fucking dumb look both ways before you pull forward because people run run red lights okay anyways let's find like a good one and then i can wrap this okay this is for guys i guess like holding doors so if you're pulling a door open so pull the door towards you you open and let the lady go through first push doors oh i've seen guys do this this is kind of hot if the door is a push door You push and walk through it and hold it open. Oh, don't make her squeeze by awkwardly. I'm doing the hand motion. So guys, imagine you're at a 7-Eleven. You're at a gas station.

And there's not automatic doors. So you got the rail, the handrail, and you're coming. So when you go into it, you're pulling the door towards you, right? And no one's there. So you're just going in by yourself, right? That's fine. You're cool. Get in, you get in there, you buy your, I don't know, what do you buy at the store? You get your, um, fucking protein bar and your Mountain Dew and your hot dog. I don't know what the fuck you're getting. It's you're on your lunch break, but on your way out, there's a woman there, an elder, elderly woman or a hot girl. Let's make her the hottest girl you ever, you've ever seen. Let's make it this. Keep you guys, you know, excited so hottest girl you've ever seen is you know going out at the same time so this on the

way out you have to push it so you push you walk through the door and you hold it and then she walks through instead of imagine this left arm doors opening towards the gas station pumps outside it's going out if your left arm if this hot girl sees you put your left arm out extend your left arm and hold the door and she has to slide her ass by your crotch and like slide through she's gonna feel real uncomfortable by that that's too close for strangers okay I know you want to do that but don't okay walk through push the door walk through it then hold it let her walk through then you get to make eye contact that way that's that's sexy do that okay that's that's a gentleman gentleman move okay yeah because then you open the door and then you hold it and then she's like

walking towards you oh dude it could be love at first sight dude the comment section on this tiktok is fucking lit oh jesus christ always remember the shoes you're the child you're you're with is wearing because kidnappers rarely rarely change the victim's shoes jesus christ um okay if you don't see something about police put cinnamon in your coffee grounds are you guys entertained by this i hope you are i'm i'm trying my best okay i'm just like a a little kid in school i'm late i'm not doing this at the normal time it's dark out i got thursday night football on let me see who's winning right now we got the Panthers and Falcons I think Jesus Christ my free YouTube TV subscription is ending

tomorrow and I don't know if I want to renew it I just need to get my cable back I don't know why I'm doing this flip-flop shit I'm like I kind of think I need it kind of don't doing these free trials Atlanta Falcons Carolina Panthers here we go I have not paid attention to either of these teams oh commercials okay you know what's weird so ever since I had I got TV back I've been noticing that commercials because I skip all the commercials on YouTube let's be honest like I'm a professional ad skipper every time it's like three two one skip I skip it I don't watch commercials but there's something about I feel like 10 years later all of a sudden I'm watching TV again because I didn't have TV in college I never chilled and watched TV like I used to in high school and when

I was younger with my family like all of a sudden I'm out of the house and I watch YouTube and I listen to podcasts that's it and it's weird how I've been watching all this football lately and all this new like I I've been on the I've been glued to the tv lately and uh oh falcons are up 16 14 um it's weird how like I'm seeing commercials and I'm like whoa holy fuck the technology's improved like it's so modern and new now and they're talking about like social distancing and kids in in school a virtual school and I'm like whoa like I have I've been so out of the out of the loop and I don't know I kind of enjoy commercials now oh shit that's a good tackle I'm just one of the boys tonight Thursday night football doing a podcast

good-looking quarterback anyways let's go back to one of these I have so much work to do I'm like i don't know i want to end this but i want to make it worth your time oh my god wash your clothes after you buy them they are put on the floor and touched by tons of people whilst they're being folded and hung up in retail all right karen i get that though i thrift shop a lot and i get so grossed out i'm like but i never get sick knock on wood oh my knuckle hurts I overdid it I overdid it for the sound effect did anyone even hear that I just took one for the team my knuckle just took one for the team because I'm trying to make a sound effect fuck um dude is this caffeine hitting this late it doesn't make sense I thought it only

works in the morning on me but when I'm at the thrift store or I'm saying I never get sick right I'm like I'm not gonna change my ways all of a sudden because there's a pandemic okay I feel like I'm I'm a little bit what's the term uh superstitious like I know if I overly if I overthink it and like over sanitize all my shit I'm gonna my immune system's gonna weaken I don't know I'm taking all these wellness formula tablets and vitamin d and shit I just started taking I'm I ordered on Amazon vitamin k2 apparently I need that to survive but I'm feeling good about everything I'm happy I feel like if you're happy your immune system's top top notch okay I think fuck I just you know what podcasting is single-handedly curing coronavirus

I don't know if I've had it yeah I haven't gotten tested at all but I'm pretty sure happiness cures COVID let's see if there's another one oh the reason there's so much air in chip bags a trucker told me that it's needed for transportation or else elevation changes make the bags pop open that doesn't make any sense because if you're in fucking where was i in colorado i remember when colorado was in the grocery store and i'm like these bags are so puffy because it's higher altitude so if they're already puffy and then you take them up to 10 000 feet it's not going to make him explode and i feel like that dude i don't get i don't get heated

people get so heat about their chip bags having so much fucking air and then i'm and i'm like look it's a it's it's it's safety it's chip safe it's like having a seat belt on these chips are protected they have extra air so they're not going to crunch up and get um broken it's like a little security blanket or what it's i could have made that analogy or i could have described that so much better like how could i it's like a force field it's a shield it's a fucking air shield um when you're in a building find a second exit people will instinctively try to leave the way they came in which can leave you trapped in an emergency

yeah i've always okay so whenever i hear about survival stories and shit it's always like think outside of the box to survive like don't go with the crowd or like I don't know I don't even like to think about I don't like getting scared I know it's spooky season for another two days because you know it's almost fucking November and holy shit we're getting we're electing a president in like four days fuck but uh I don't know like I think it's it's easy to think in an emergency you're gonna like keep your calm and like I'd like to think I'm going to do that well I've been in those situations before excuse me those those like crazy situations before where I'm like I don't know if I'm

going to make it out of this and your adrenaline takes over and your body just starts moving and you're like just survive and then it's I don't know your brain it's weird like I can't describe what that feeling is but I don't know no one should ever feel that or like feel I don't know that kind of fear it's it's fucking crazy um see there's not any all the top comments I've already told you guys um next time you're on hold for 40 minutes remember that the person who finally answers was just helping other people for 40 minutes it's their job but be nice yeah that's another thing it's like waiters and waitresses be nice to call center employees dude I look like a call center employee

I was thinking about it I've been looking all these because you know I'm a podcast nerd I watch podcasts we all know that hi but I was thinking about it and like I'm so glad I know my audio isn't the best. Okay. It's not. Let's just like, just give you some ASMR. I have some popping issues. Okay. Here are my peas because I don't have a pea popper. I don't have a nice $400 microphone, which honestly is not that bad. I thought a podcast equipment's expensive. Like you really have to, you know, it's not for, I don't know. I thought it's like in television, how fucking camera setups like a half a million dollars or whatever if I want to go pro at this and have the top-notch equipment you really don't spend that much money on it but I just like the

idea of looking like a pop star okay but I'm so proud of myself I went for the call center employee look because I keep seeing these podcast videos people with the headset on with the big ass headphones and like the they look like it's like a hybrid between a airplane pilot and a football coach it's like too clunky and you know I'm a girl I'm dainty I'm a little like you know snowflake fucking what am I saying I don't know I don't want to look like I've got these giant ears and giant headphones on I want to look cute so I'm glad I went with the tiny call center employee headset it's real feminine it's real feminine and it's like I have a thing is when I was when I was searching on Amazon for this shit. It's a, what's the name of it? It's like a Calle,

C-A-L-L-E. I think it's Calle, Spanish. Calle Call Center Employee Headset, $30. Okay. I'm getting a second one for my interviews when I go home for Christmas. I'm going to throw one on my mom, my grandma, my grandpa, my cousins, my brother, and my sister. Everyone's going to have the headset on like me. And I don't know. I just like the look. Because when I was looking at them I was like I don't want to have a chunky headset I don't I don't want to look like a gamer I don't want to look like a football coach I want to look like a pop star and my inspo is Britney Spears 2002 you know what I mean like what would she have on looking at my giant mirror right now guys I have this giant mirror in my apartment it's like 500 pounds and it's a it's

the only thing stopping me from getting a sectional couch I'm really frustrated right now guys I need your help. I told you I've made a decision. I'm tying the knot with my apartment. I'm here to stay. California is my forever home. Um, no, like I'm renewing my lease for another year. Okay. I made a decision. Finally put holes in the wall, got curtains now, but I got this fucking 500 pound mirror that it's taking up. It's about, I don't know, I'm looking at the width right now. It's like five feet wide six feet tall it's huge uh it's taken up a whole entire wall that normally would have a couch in this apartment like if you i could have a sectional couch if i if i didn't have this fucking mirror and i could switch positions move things around but this thing is

so heavy i i think it and it's cool like i like how right now i'm podcasting on my couch and i've got my ottoman in front of me and i could like see myself it makes the room feel big but all i want is I'm looking at couches right now I think I'm just gonna have to get a smaller one I can't get a sectional I saw that cloud couch on a uh on offer up the app and those couches are like 10 grand I'm not trying to ball out like that but uh I saw a cloud couch someone was selling it for like 1600 I'm like but then I did the measurements and if I didn't have the fucking mirror it could fit it's like do I want to look do I really how aesthetic do I want to get with my shit I kind of like I like the idea of having the cloud couch and looking rich and looking like I live in 2020

and that I'm a cool person go look up the restoration hardware cloud couch everyone fucking has it okay it's like the Range Rover of fucking couches why am I swearing so much I'm heated why am I heated about a couch I'm just frustrated with my mirror and honestly I'm staring at the wall right now and there's a nick there's like a little I need to go over the spot with some paint kind of scrape the wall I don't know I like getting decorated decorative deck I like decor when my sister and mom visited me this summer their reaction to my apartment was like oh my god Jacqueline you're so good at decorating you're so good at this like oh my god this is like so cute I feel like I live in a dollhouse I do a good job and I don't show off my shit on

Instagram like I don't like I used to I don't know I feel like take pictures of my rooms and like I don't talk about that stuff but now I'm I don't know all you guys see me doing now is throwing up a podcast link and like I don't know looking like shit on my couch it's 2020 I am not look I'm just not oh he just dropped that ball that was such an easy crap oh he's white that's probably why he's definitely like he's playing for someone who's injured right now anyways uh fucking what was i saying this year i i'm not i'm embracing the fact that i'm not i don't know what the word is like trying hard i'm not overthinking shit i'm like i just see a lot of people try hard with their i i don't want to go onto this into this rabbit

hole but you know what I I you know how you guys know how I feel about aesthetics and making everything look cute all the time I'm just like kind of burnt out of it I'm trying to enjoy my 2020 and you know I got recycling to take out okay I got my fucking shower tiles to clean I'm not perfect I'm kind of embracing that like it's been a hard year okay I've been working my ass off I've been trying to overcompensating doing podcasts seven days a week because I spent the first fucking half 2020 horizontal in depression like a lost puppy not knowing what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life, and here I am, like, grinding seven days a week, and, you know, got some shit sliding around, I need a, I need a, I need a, honestly, who was talking about this,

was it, is there a bachelor, is there someone on The Bachelorette right now with a house cleaning company, I think there is, because I was listening to The Morning Toast, and I think it was Claudia was saying like now if she was dating people like she's married but she's like I would totally lock it down with someone who has a house cleaning company to have a guy that like if if the man I marry or date or my future boyfriend has a house cleaning company that's so hot just clean my shower tiles just just do all the cleaning because that's your passion and you have a fucking like business built around that I don't know that's so like actually not I don't know if that's hot I'm just like imagining not having to clean look when I I've lived with someone before

and I feel like I did all the cleaning you know what I mean I did it I like but I like it I do like it but when I get busy and I notice shit sliding I get real frustrated like I just I'm kind of, I don't know. I'm, I don't, I'm, I'm trying to maximize my time and put it towards my like podcast and my, uh, job and everything. And so all the little extra shit is like, it's a chore now, but anyways, dude, I went over time. Let me look at Instagram. Do I have anything happening on my DMs to talk about? I don't know. 56 days of podcasting. Uh, Princess Pia Mia should be way bigger than she is. I just saw her post something. I don't know. That's my hot take. I feel like she's up there with Ariana and I don't know. I like listen to her acapella

videos. It's so soothing. Uh, shit. What was I going to say? I don't know. Um, I guess happy Thursday. This is a different vibe today. Just know it's dark out. It's cold outside. The moon's out. Thursday night football's on. Jacqueline's on her couch. I'm drinking my French, my second French press of the day. Here's a sip for you. I got a Marshawn Lynch commercial on my fucking, is this Tostitos? What's going on? Frito-Lay commercial on my TV. See, I like the commercials. See, I'm like a little, I'm sorry, I'm distracted, but I'm watching commercials in silence. But it's a different vibe. Back to what I was saying. It's a different vibe today I'm like fucking hanging out life is so good I'm just like damn do I want to reflect

right now on 2020 I feel like it's been good to me in some weird ways mentally it's like I think it's good to go through the hard times because I've completely eliminated every single thing I was chasing and aspiring to do that felt like I was trying hard holy fuck I'm working this out right now this might be worth your time I don't know so I've established the fact that I don't like to feel like what I'm doing is trying hard because I noticed during my past I was spending a lot of time and energy and thought and thinking time or space worrying about doing shit that looks good or whatever the fuck or like what other people are doing and now I'm

just like I don't want to try hard I want to do what feels natural you know I don't want to go against the grain this feels like I'm writing with my right hand I'm right-handed not left-handed I feel like a lot of the shit I was doing before was like oh I'm gonna fit in if I do this I'm gonna like people like me if I do this you know what I mean it was all about that and so dude this is what your 20s is all about I'm really having this epiphany um in this phase I'm going through about doing what I want and not doing anything else and like I love my job I love my hobby I'm a fucking podcast host I'm a podcast baddie I'm America's sweetheart right now okay trying to be America's sweetheart trying to become a household name

dude everyone like everyone knows oh like everyone talked about Joe Rogan what if everyone talked about me I'm kidding like that is so narcissistic as fuck but I feel like I'm giving myself the um what's the word I'm allowing myself to say shit that comes off the top of my head and I'm believing in myself when I said that Joe Rogan thing it's like I'm finally believing in myself and my I'm building my confidence every day that I document my day and record a podcast because I do it every day I'm it's building my self-esteem back up because I feel like I've been soul searching it's been stripped and now I'm like whoa I have something to contribute to the world that it's really like honestly a bullshit reality show that I'm just talking

about whatever on every day and I don't necessarily feel like a rock star who's you know I just read TikTok comments about adulting and I think that was my contribution to society today and helping mankind you know what I mean y'all are gonna pack your fire extinguishers with you on your way out of a burning building is you know what I mean like I don't know and I feel like I'm becoming a better kinder happier person because this makes me this fulfills me it makes me happy and so I know when I go out into the world I'm going to bring that energy with me everywhere I go and I've already noticed that out in public like I I think when your passion your hobby your job if it makes you happy you're going to treat people better and I think that's what everyone should

have and that sucks because you know I bitched about the garbage man earlier but they probably you know I'm sure sometimes they hate their job maybe all the time maybe it's all they could find all they could get and they don't like it and so that energy that negative like I hate this job energy follows them and that's that sucks like I wish everyone could live their dream like me I'm fucking living living the dream I finally found my passion here I am so fun I'm watching football in silence and this guy just dropped oh my gosh diving catch that was a challenging catch I'll give it to him I wouldn't have caught that no one I don't think anyone could have caught that the ball wasn't placed correctly or he didn't he didn't run the route right I don't

know what happened. Atlanta Falcons up 19-14. What quarter? Third quarter. All right, guys. I love you. Happy thick Thursday. Thursday's podcast is over. I'm getting sleepy now. Have a good night. I love you guys. Stick around if you're a patron for your patron shout out. And I'll talk to you guys tomorrow for Friday's podcast. All right. Bye. hello everyone that's still listening who's not a patron i'm about to make you jealous and shout out my patrons at patreon.com slash tjms does anyone let this show roll on to the end and listen to my shout outs i don't know i get annoyed by other shows i listen to i'm like i don't want to listen to this part but hey if you're a patron it's your time to shine we got ricky jensen we

have trevor garrett and we have eagle one my three amigos my three stooges my uh i don't know i was going to say something about what's another trio I don't know you guys are my support system you're my you're my crew right now on patreon.com slash tjms thank you guys so much I appreciate you a lot and I will talk to you tomorrow all right bye