The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 57- My Sexy Costume

Episode Date: October 31, 2020

Y'all ain't ready ;) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic 

Hey guys, it's episode 57. Happy Friday. Welcome back to the show. hey guys it's Jacqueline welcome back to the show what's up it's gonna be a fun one today I'm going to pick out my sexy Halloween costume. You guys are going to participate in that. I want to start things off by saying I feel like an accomplished boss, babe. I set a goal this week to work my ass off and I did. And it's currently the end of the day. It's Friday night. And I wish I could tell you I'm out getting shit faced at a Halloween party tonight. But the truth is I'm doing a podcast. You know, what's new? I'm in sweatpants, got my hair in a bun it's fun it's really fun I love doing what I want and not worrying about uh

being in a socialite right now in my life I don't want to reflect right now but like I think the former Jacqueline would have been really depressed on a Friday night like tonight staying in I would I would have been beating myself up depressed like Jacqueline why don't you have any friends why aren't you doing something fun but look this is my passion and I'm living my dream every day so I'm cool with that anyways I'm just doing a late night check-in a late night show we're gonna pick out my sexy Halloween costume I don't really have any updates I basically kicked ass all week and I just want to I don't I I don't have anything to drink I feel like I need to do a toast to myself I got I'm drinking it's currently it's a night I'm drinking I'm

still drinking fucking coffee guys okay burning that midnight oil drinking that coffee I'm on my second what's it called crock pot I'm on my second french french press again dude what's with me flip-flopping these episodes doing them at night I kind of like it I kind of like doing it at night I feel I don't know I just feel cool I don't know I like it when it gets dark out on it's how it's hallows eve it's I gotta do this at night it's kind of spooky but look I don't know what's going on in the world. All I know is that we, what just happened? I, all I know is we got an election coming up in four days and coronavirus is on the rise and fucking people are, they're taking the guns out of Walmart and I think Kentucky or something because they're afraid that people

are going to riot and shoot people up. And I'm just trying to lay low right now. Okay. I've been getting really cozy in my apartment just being calm cool and collected trying to keep my head on straight trying to do my work um but I'm a little bit nervous to be honest just to get to the other side and see what happens on Tuesday if we even have a result it's probably going to be contested I'm just assuming it's going to be contested and either way depending on what happens with the I don't know like if the Dems take over the House and the Senate and all that stuff like how that's going to turn out. And if we have Biden in there with a bunch of Republicans, it's going to be this crazy shit show. I feel like no matter what happens, it's going to be

a shit show. And, uh, yeah. So anyways, I've installed my curtains today. There's a life update. I, it took longer than I expected. I don't know if you guys want to know these kind of details, but I'm going to tell you, I have the most makeshift setup going on. I used my Swiffer duster tube like the handle of it to make an extension pole because my curtain rods from amazon i ordered weren't wide enough because i have a huge window and i want it to be i wanted my curtains to go to florida ceiling they're white velvet curtains i got these little um black ding-a-ling chings i don't know what they're fucking called like uh clips basically a copy whatever what everyone's doing an architectural digest okay i went on that instagram i'm like

what's the latest and greatest curtain uh aesthetic you know and I'm like what what would look sexy and so I got these little clips these black rock black it's a black wrought iron curtain rod fuck are we gonna pick out my sexy costume what's going on I'm talking about curtains what the fuck should I restart this look it took me so long and I had to tape this Swiffer fucking handle with this Velcro tape shit I had that was black and it looks stupid so when I finally had them up after two hours of putting screws in the wall trying to get everything level it was a shit show um I decided that I could not move forward in the day if I didn't fix that Swiffer setup it was basically in the middle so it stood out it was like this

uh I don't know how to explain it thicker it was like a thicker part of the the rod where I made my own extension basically I put eucalyptus on top of that bitch and it looks cute it looks very like pottery barn it looks very Pinterest I'm not mad about it because there's a nice breeze coming through the window and it goes over that eucalyptus and it smells great and honestly I posted on my Instagram today uh the setup and so shoot me a DM what do you think of it I'm I think I'm going to keep it. The eucalyptus, it looks cute. It's kind of, uh, it looks like what my old neighbor would have done. You don't know who she is, but this is something my old neighbor would have done. It's very crafty. Anyways. Uh, I, what else? Okay. Let's pick my sexy Halloween

costume. I don't really know what else to tell you guys. How are you doing? It's Friday night. You guys are probably having more fun than me. Like it's just crazy how the former me would have been so depressed like me a year ago would have been so in my head like Jacqueline you have no friends you have nothing to do you have a social life but it's crazy how I don't like deep down I want that but right now I'm actually chilling I'm content I'm happy with my life and um I'm excited to work again all night like it's so crazy how my I don't know when you grow up your priorities change and you're I'm at this I don't know if this is helpful for anyone out there but my mindset in 2020 especially right now is like it's not it's not ideal my life isn't ideal

right now but I know in the future like next Halloween I'm sure it'll be a whole different story you know um if you're new I moved to a new city I don't have any friends it's all good whatever I mean I don't I I could put myself out there but I don't I choose not to and it's I isolate because that's just my, I guess I'm learning. I'm actually a super introverted person. I'm really, I get energized by people, but I feel like, I don't know. I don't like to talk about introvert, extrovert shit because I think it's annoying. I don't like to label myself, but I learned this year that I am, I could be an excellent

inmate, okay? If I ever go to prison for anything, I'm going to thrive. that's where I'm at I mean like I live in a fancy prison right now for I haven't been outside that much this week because I've been working so much and I'm not I'm not upset about it anyways um what was I gonna say oh let's pick out my sexy Halloween costume buzzfeed.com this mean girls quiz will give you an oddly specific sexy Halloween costume I don't know if you guys saw that coming but uh it's another buzzfeed quiz because dude I'm looking for content ideas and I I don't I couldn't do this off the top of my head so first thing we're gonna do is pick someone to

go to a Halloween party with Regina Katie that was candy because it's spelled the C uh Gretchen or Karen pick someone to go to a Halloween party with honestly Regina I don't know okay am I gonna should I say the story I'm the type of girlfriend or like friend who like I don't know how to say this shit this is kind of like maybe exposing myself too much but I like it when I'm with like the hottest most popular person at the party you know what I mean like that's me I'm like yes I want to be with that bad bitch I don't want to be I don't I've been in friendship groups where it was really frustrating because we'd go to parties in college and I'd be confident and fine with myself and they get insecure and jealous if I got hit on

and they didn't and then they'd get like weird about it with me and I don't know how to I just have to say it how it is okay I'm sure so many people out there deal with that it's about having confidence it's confidence it's not about like oh they're being hotter or whatever it's like going into a party and being like, I'm just here to have fun and vibe with people and it's, and not get bitter and jealous about my best friend getting hit on. In fact, I'm the type of friend who wants to pep you up if that happens and like cheer you on. And I don't get that kind of shit. So anyways, when I picked Regina, cause like, I want to be with a bad bitch. I want to be with that. Like, I don't know. I just like to get feisty and shit. I want to be with, I don't

want to be with, uh, who would be not fun to go to the party without the selection here or the group I don't know Gretchen maybe she'd be fun I don't know like I need to watch this again to Katie would be exhausting because Katie would I'd have to I'd have to like pull her up and like help her what did she wear to the Halloween party in that movie wasn't she she was a bride a corpse bride or something anyways yeah I'm going with Regina for sure okay next I'm picking out my sexy Halloween costume and telling stories at the same time. I hope you guys are enjoying this. I don't know. Uh, Halloween candy is so last year. Pick a mean girls themed snack to hand out instead. Oh fuck. Uh, we got these protein bars that made Regina fat. It's all that fits me right

now. She was in that track suit. I love that part. Uh, who made her eat those? Didn't Katie? yeah katie turned on her right and made a meat made her eat those anyways uh cheese fries then we have toaster strudel and candy canes what the fuck i feel like out of all of these the protein bars and candy canes make the most sense like what am i gonna do if i if i have if i have to hand these out to kids trick-or-treating set up a cheese fry station and a toaster station for toaster strudel dude my mom never let us out and have any of those like pop tart looking things I'm it's probably a good thing you know what I mean but I just like don't even know what that tastes like looking at that picture I don't know what toaster strudel tastes like that's kind of

depressing um I'm gonna go with the protein bars I feel like that's the most on brand and protein bars can be really candy like you know what I mean like those what are they the I had one before I was like what the fuck is this even healthy it's like oh 20 grams of protein call it healthy uh I think it's the one bars or the quest bars are disgusting but I still eat them sometimes um anyways next question how is this gonna somehow these answers are gonna make me uh come up with the or it's gonna pick me a sexy Halloween costume okay next next thing uh pick someone to go trick-or-treating with Janice, Damien, Erin, Mrs. Norbury do you guys even know who I'm fucking talking about or any of these like people or things because I feel like everyone has

seen Mean Girls I don't know whatever just pretend like you have have fun with me right now dude who would I want to go trick-or-treating with I feel like Janice she's I would I would have so much fun with Janice Damien though hey Janice what's your wig made out of your mom's chest hair that's what that always reminds me of Aaron's hot though not really I feel like when I watched that movie I didn't think he was hot when I was younger but it'd be cool to go trick-or-treating with like a tall hot boy the hottest boy in school oh would i want to be seen with the hottest boy in school or the fucking dyke isn't wasn't janice a dyke i don't know can i even say that jesus christ i'm not afraid um lesbian lgbtq rstp oh fuck fuck i sound ignorant i sell i sound intolerant what

is the word uh insensitive you know what i mean i'm calling it like it is i'm pretty sure that was her uh character's uh preference or what do you call it her gender identity no fucking sexual out sexuality i don't even know how to say it okay please forgive me if i have father please forgive me if i've sent it now i'm gonna find the atheist dude being a i am so brave right now i'm taking a chance i don't give a fuck i'm gonna go trick-or-treating with janice just so you guys know that I'm not homophobic I'm going with Janice but honestly she was my first pick because I'd have fun I'd have fun with Janice I know I would um next question who's Halloween costume would you rather wear Regina's she's like a sexy bunny uh Gretchen's is she's a cat woman

with like black leather Katie the corpse bride or the zombie bride so ugly absolutely not or Karen is a mouse dude the bunny for sure and now I'm blonde I look like a playmate fuck yeah I'm going with Regina's outfit Regina's my bitch I love Regina in that movie like I'm not I don't consider myself a mean girl but I like that energy sometimes I like I like to sometimes I when I'm partying it's kind of fun to be oh this is this sounds fucked up but like kind of fun to be around those types of girls because I like to observe it because I don't I don't, that's not me. So it's like a new world when I'm around a bunch of catty, like mean type of girls at parties and stuff. Or when I'm out, it's like, what's this, what's this world like

that I don't involve myself in. And I get really confused and like, sometimes it makes me really insecure, but I feel like now I'd be super like, uh, it's for research really. Like, I don't know if I could hold them down as friends, if, if that's how they're going to act all the time. but like if I'm just out for a night and happen to meet up with people and like I don't know sometimes it's fun I'm just being honest but I'd want to be friends I feel like Katie Katie before she turned on everyone I'd want to be friends with her you know when she was pure and normal and not like I mean she didn't before her mean girl phase anyways next question i feel like there's only like four left so hang tight we gotta know what my sexy halloween

costume is gonna be it's halloween tomorrow pick a spooky movie for your movie marathon with janice and damien uh friday the 13th hocus pocus beetlejuice or the conjuring well i've only seen oh fuck i've only seen hocus pocus have i seen any of these other ones yeah i have to go with Hocus Pocus because I just don't like to get scared I think I've talked to this or talked about this before but I'm just not about that scary movie life I don't understand why people want to put themselves through it okay what's the next question is that it wait shit and finally pick an iconic Mean Girls quote it's like I have ESPN or something my breasts can always tell when it's going to rain raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by regina george

i wish i could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would be would eat and be happy i'm not like a regular mom i'm a cool mom jesus what one will i go with i think that was so wow shit okay raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by regina george is that's like a i'm not a social justice warrior warrior like that i'm not going to ever say that to like a crowd and be like let's get let's be victims right now that would not be me so i would not make people raise their hands and say this i have to choose this quote as if i'm saying it because i feel like i'm not going to be a regular mom i'm going to be a cool mom so the last one's really really appealing to me i wish i could bake a cake filled with rainbows

and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy I mean to be honest I love baking so but that sounds like a sad fat fat fest so no and honestly like that's not I don't want to be about that life uh I have I'm in total like at heart I'm like a fat kid you know I it's in me it's always in me but I don't want to what just happened I got a noise upstairs it's like a rock just fell on the ground like a bag of rocks um hey they could be having sex it could be worse uh first thing is it's like i have espn or something i don't like that one she's like my breasts can tell when it's going to rain that's like dumb i'm not dumb like that i'm gonna go with i'm not a regular mom i'm a cool mom oh shit oh my god my oddly specific you guys

you guys no I'm a sexy dead house plant you keep forgetting to water that is my oddly specific Halloween costume based on my answers fuck a costume that's scary and sexy what more could you ask for I feel that's honestly kind of true because I've been a bad house plant mom or whatever the fuck I have I had to clip some toenails no I had to clip some branches off one of them a couple days ago I have this uh is it apothos I don't even know the names of my plants everyone you know what I can't stand people who name their plants and talk to them like they're kids I don't like that shit I'm like I don't have that feeling towards my plants either like I don't talk to them I don't name them I don't know what variety they are I only know I have a bird of paradise

and a basil plant well I guess I might literally maybe I do know what I have I don't know there's a there's a few plants I have that I have no clue I couldn't tell you what they're called but I'm a dead house plant that's my sexy Halloween costume that was fun that's really all I have for you guys today I don't know what else to talk about it's late night Friday night did I already say this I don't know if I repeat myself but like I feel, I, sorry to be annoying, but it's so weird how, like, good my life is right now, or, like, fucking, the momentum I have, and just everything kind of finally coming together, and it's wild, I think that's why I'm, I don't know, able to do this every day, like, I have

all my ducks in a row it feels really good got my curtains up i don't know i just hope you guys are doing well i know it's been a it's getting dark earlier now i know we've got an election coming up people are getting you know everyone's shitting their pants everyone's getting nervous i'm excited to watch the live youtube live stream of uh joe's doing for election night with i think who's all there alex jones is going to be there and tim dillon so that's going to be like round two who's the other guy I mean he posted a picture I don't know I'm excited for like the the night the election night and uh just like getting to the other side and you guys it could be it could be a contested election and we won't have a fucking answer for a long time

and that is scary and I don't like I think we need to know right away I just don't want to have just chaos and I don't know like do I need to board up my windows do I need to hunker down on an election night like what what's gonna happen to the world I feel like I live in a safe city and people here are gonna riot but who knows I'm it's like when I watch the to bring you know I'm always bringing it up. I don't give a fuck. When I watched the Alex Jones podcast, I was realizing how life is a movie and it's a crazy fun time. If you, if you look at it that way, like as long as I keep myself productive and moving forward and improving myself and trying to get better and better each day and be kind person in society, everything else that's going on around me is

entertainment it's pure fucking entertainment because to be honest it doesn't really directly affect me whoever's in the white house doesn't like it doesn't ruin my life you know what I mean it doesn't make my life a living hell so I'm just gonna sit back enjoy the show try to stay safe as best as possible um you know be street smart about about shit but that's kind of where I'm at I think if you look at life that way sometimes when it's scary and chaotic out there, it doesn't seem as bad as if you get really triggered by politics and, like, people getting upset online and just, like, when people, I have so much to say. It's late night with Jacqueline. I could go on forever. but it's kind of looking unintelligent if you shit am I gonna offend people I don't give a

fuck uh I do I don't want to offend people I just want to I don't I want to make people think about their actions about this election and now they're talking about like especially you know Trump I'll just say it you know what I mean it's starting to look whack if you're shitting on him still and you don't you're not awake to the fact that the media has been feeding you a narrative that's against him and it's that's all they care about in fact I don't know what I was watching or listening to but it goes like this it's like no one in the media wants to uh put a story out that's gonna help Trump you know what I mean that'll make them look bad in their friend groups it'll make them look bad that's where who is I can't remember where I'm here I'm like repeating

information I don't know who to give credit for for this idea but or whatever um someone within journalism said this anyways it's it's kind of fucked up you know what I mean and they're all in the same area you know they're all on the east coast like from Washington New York you know all that region they're all hanging out and they're all supporters of Biden and everything and it's I don't know I think oh who was I watching god it was I it's late guys I forget but he was saying like the way they're they talk about Biden is like he's a beloved grandpa you know what I mean everyone's so gentle with him when they talk to him and everything and it's just like it's so weird they don't do that to Trump at all it's a complete opposite for Trump

I just hope there's I don't know for some reason I said this few podcasts ago I was like I feel like Trump's gonna go from the most hated president of all time and I think he's gonna get re-elected I really do that's just my opinion I think it's gonna be like a complete landslide and uh I like to say guys I'm saying it now so when it happens I could be like oh I called it dude, I should bet some money on this shit, um, no, but I feel like he's gonna go from the most hated to the most loved, like, I think there's something about him that if people, like I said, are, if they look at the media differently or kind of wake up to it, they'll, they might not have their opinion, they're negative, crazy, I hate you opinion about him, like, I was watching

something about it was it was compiled it was like a five minute video of every time he denounced white supremacy like every like it's there's so much of that out there but they never talk about it anyways I could rant about this forever but dude I feel like such I'm taking a risk you know I'm talking politics whatever this is a political show but this is like me hanging out with you late at night and I'm your friend and I have my opinion about this election and maybe you're a Biden supporter maybe you don't agree with me but I'm just talking you know what I mean like I'm just sharing with you guys what I think and that's healthy I've been noticing I've been especially on Twitter um well Instagram for sure but it's easier for me to look at someone I follow and

get really triggered about shit they're saying about the election like how can you like not see what you're saying is like like what you know what I mean I just I feel like everyone thinks that on both sides about the other perspective they just don't they I want to unfollow I want to block I'm like how can I even be friends with you but I think once this election's over it's like we can all you know it's it's just it's just an election people have their people see things differently and it's all based what I've realized is I have a lot of um I don't know if the word is empathy or respect or whatever grace for people that disagree with me on politics um that are my friends because everyone has a different life experience and sees the world from their own

lens. And so it's really based on that. And you can't really persuade against that. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. So anyways, dude, I started off, what did this podcast, what was this podcast? I'm like, I put up my curtains, picked out my sexy, sexy Halloween costume. I'm a dead houseplant and i talked about politics because dude this election's coming up and it's weird it's really weird i don't like it i don't like this i just i really want things to be peaceful and i want people to go over the holidays and chill the fuck out and sedate themselves with cookies for a month because dude we just need to everyone needs to get their mind occupied on something else but it's you know what I feel like it feels heavier than ever this year this election

because everyone's you know most people are home glued to their tvs bored and yeah so anyways I think I went on the podcast I was like what else what else should I talk about then do my Q&A tomorrow for Saturday um and you know have a football Sunday it's gonna be a great weekend I'm still working you know what I mean grind doesn't stop oh I got my I got my gap hoodie delivery I'm looking at I'm excited I'm gonna be a trendsetter I'm gonna be like the I don't know like I feel like with a gap Kanye shit it's not gonna be like I don't think the gap logo is gonna be flaunted I feel like it's gonna be its own thing so I don't know if I'm why I'm even thinking about this dude i'm jokingly buying gap hoodies because of kanye that's how my brain works i'm

like it's obvious why all of a sudden i have gap on my chest it's not like i think it's like i'm not like i'm fashionable i'm cool like kanye says you know kanye and gap's the thing now so i'm gonna get gap like i don't i'm just being honest i i'm a supporter of the guy and i think it's cool that Gap's a thing now, and I like throwbacks, I, I, I'm into nostalgia, I went to Gap when, shit, I could tell a Gap story right now, my aunt took me to Gap for my birthday, I got blue pants and a purple halter top, and she taught me, at that moment, she taught me how to match color, like, colors and patterns, so there were little purple flowers embroidered into the blue pants, you guys are really getting some details right now, I'm ending the podcast with details, holy shit,

the the blue pants they're uh they're cropped what are they called crop pants yeah uh with embroidered flowers on them purple embroidered flowers so when I went to pick out my halter top she's like see this purple matches the purple in the pants I never forgot that I always wear that and then I would wear like a fucking pink bucket hat or something that doesn't match and jelly sandals it's really weird to think about the clothes from your childhood like I specifically remember like when the Mary-Kate and Ashley collection came out at Walmart I got this like floor length the jean skirt with it had lace like uh like bands of lace down it and I thought it was so edgy because I feel like the lace was kind of like

I don't know like you could see through I was like oh and then I got a red um I feel like this is fashionable again now it's like a red floral button shirt I don't know how to explain it you guys are bored I'm like talking about former clothes or childhood clothes morning podcast is coming tomorrow I'm gonna wake up drink my coffee do my workout podcast at a normal time but you know what thank you guys for being with me this week the 50s are just not my they're not my prime. Okay. I found out that the fifties episodes are just kind of a, I don't know, kind of what the fuck, you know, whatever I'm feeling, you know, I didn't want, I didn't wake up and podcast this morning. I waited till the end of the night and that's what you're getting.

Okay. And again, if I said anything offensive, I'm not out to do any harm. Okay. I don't even know why I have to say that. I feel like that's obvious, but anyways, love you guys. Have a good friday night stay safe out there dona apparently we can't trick-or-treat which i think now let me get heated i just don't understand how we're allowing the government to say like the most that's like the most socially distanced activity we could do if you think about it like kids and their parents that are already quarantining or living together could go out and trick-or-treat and it's safe it's like it's outdoors i think parties halloween parties like how the fuck can they do how can they control anything and i just think it's weird how people are like halloween's

canceled this year and everyone talks about it like or no one could go trick-or-treating like no one's contesting that no one's even questioning that you can social distance and trick-or-treat the people everyone leave your candy at your door actually no because i'd be the kid that takes it all that's so me if i if if the rules were the the the houses have to leave candy at the door so that no one's interacting i would like throw it out the window it could be like a parade parade style trick-or-treating yeah you just throw it out you stand you stand at the door and throw the kids candy like a parade why didn't the government think of that if i was in the government i would say let's do it let's have a social distance trick-or-treating event or um halloween

this year like that's the solution right and then when you're crossing your when you're outside and you're alongside fellow trick-or-treaters you just keep a social distance duh fuck this i don't like i don't like this halloween just canceled shit i get the parties thing but you know what I don't know. The numbers are rising. I have to say it's, uh, the numbers are up. It's up to like 25%. And I went to my news app and, uh, wasn't I going to end this podcast? What the fuck just happened? I looked at my news app and I got triggered immediately. I was like, uh, you know, heart palpitations, like the headlines today. Let me just like take a brief. I closed my eyes immediately. All I saw was, let me go to it. The first word was like new, terrible milestone in

the pandemic and I just shut my phone I was like I don't I can't so yeah but you know what it's winter's coming people get the flu in the winter it's cold out people's immune systems are down less vitamin d take your vitamin d get your sunlight I took a nap in the sunlight today it was great the sun is setting a certain way where it hits my window or it crosses my window perfectly where I open it completely so I'm getting direct sunlight and it feels so good anyways random information, I could go all night, I should be a radio host, maybe this is my audition, my, like, future, these are my audition tapes for radio, I don't know, I feel like I could stay up and play music for people, like, jazz, a jazz music radio station, I could talk softly and tell stories and,

like interview jazz musicians late night with Jacqueline and jazz music this is the time of my life you know what I mean this is what your mid-20s is all about finding your passion doing it every day shit anyways love you guys happy Friday stick around if you're a patron for your shout out uh talk to you tomorrow for Saturday's Q&A and uh that's all I got for you all right Bye. Hello, my patrons of patreon.com slash TJMS. How's it going? I was going to do your shout outs today as a Halloween character costume thing, but I realized it's not Halloween yet, so you're getting that tomorrow. So I'm just going to say your names today. Hope that's okay with you. Uh, to show my gratitude for your support. We got Ricky Jensen. We have Trevor Garrett and

we have eagle one and eagle one is probably thinking i'm either you're gonna be an eagle as your halloween costume but wait till your wait till i announce your costume tomorrow it's gonna be not what you think anyways um love you guys thank you for your support really appreciate it and i will talk to you tomorrow all right bye