The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 6- Hot Air Balloons and The Laundromat

Episode Date: September 9, 2020

In this episode I go to the laundromat and talk about my life. Patreon.com/tjms 

Hello, good morning. Hi, how are you? Welcome back to the show. I'm sitting here again, as always, in my kitchen with my first pumpkin spice beverage of the season. First of all, I hope you're doing well. I should ask about you first before I talk about myself. I really hope you guys are doing well. Middle of the week, you know, I hope you're staying positive. But yeah, back to me and my life because that's why you're listening right now. I'm sitting here in my kitchen with my iced quad espresso. I'm reading off the little sticky thing they put on the Starbucks cup. An iced quad espresso, iced blonde roast quad espresso in a venti cup with pumpkin cream cold foam. It's my first pumpkin spice beverage of the season and it was

great. See the thing about the cold foam is the first sip is like euphoria. It is so good. It's so sweet and like it almost it's like ice cream it's like that first sip of the cold foam if you've had it from Starbucks before you know what I'm talking about but then after that it's like just straight espresso and that's what I I love about um like my preference in coffee here here I am again here I am again talking about coffee this is now a coffee podcast it's starting to feel like a radio show a morning radio show because I'm doing it daily so I'm starting to feel like a radio host but I'm also starting to feel like a coffee like like uh what's the word a coffee critic or whatever but um my preference in coffee I've decided is I don't love cold brew

I don't love nitro cold brews I love espresso shots on ice I love that intense espresso flavor so I get a quad espresso and anyways I'm sitting here in my kitchen with it I'm looking at my laptop. I sound a little hoarse. Do I sound a little hoarse today? I think I do. I'm tired today. I didn't work out. I decided to wake up, get a coffee, record the podcast, and have a normal work day. So I'm knocking this out. I didn't sleep very well last night. So I woke up and I'm like, I don't have the energy to go hard this morning. And I didn't feel like working out. and I know my day is probably going to suck a little bit because of that, because a workout usually makes me feel a lot better, and it wakes me up, obviously, but I decided to rest a little

bit. I went really hard yesterday with my lifting, so yeah, it feels nice to just have a chill morning, driving to Starbucks, getting my drink, so I'm sitting there with that. I've got a sticky note with a very concise list of topics and things I want to talk about today, because I did get some feedback in the DMs I had a gentleman reach out and let me know that I seem to be all over the place when I talk which I agree with and I mention all the time that I am very distracted and and confused like my brain like will think of it it'll think of anything it thinks of it I'll start talking about and I'll spew it out just fill the air and so that was great feedback because as I start to find my voice and work this muscle every day, because I really

feel like this is the muscle I'm working, talking on a podcast and forming trains of thoughts that are like easily understood by an audience of people. I'll get better and better at this as time goes on. But because of that, I decided to keep my list short today, try to really focus on what I wrote in front of me here. And yeah, just have like a great little Wednesday podcast for you. I am going to get out a little random sidetracked bit right here because I'm looking outside at my neighbor's that, let me describe what I'm looking at, because I think this is entertaining, and we'll start off the podcast with a little, a little bit of a sidetrack thing, so let me open my blinds a little more so I can see more clearly, um, okay, so my neighbor,

I call him man bun neighbor, he's, he's got a man bun, and he has a girlfriend who's really cute, they're like fitness people. And every morning for like the last two months, they've been working out this really overweight couple. Like they need, you know, they're really overweight. I'm just calling it like it is. That's how I'm seeing it. And then every morning they're running hills. There's a hill by where I live. I live on top of the hill basically. And they, um, I'm watching them right now. They're doing dumbbell stuff with their arms and they're always like doing burpees on the curb the curb uh so yeah I'm watching them right now it's it's kind of fun they're um they're a cute couple they always walk their dogs they've got it they've got a I don't know the name

of the dog but it's huge and I always get confused with people in cities with big dogs in their small apartments I I'm new to the city life and I I just have a hard time with it like I understand you go walk your dog twice a day or whatever, but I don't know. I'm just used to living out in farmland where we would have big dogs. We had, I grew up with golden retrievers and I just assumed dogs need tons of like land to run around all the time. Cause you know, we had, we always had a big backyard and fields around us. So yeah, the big dogs and cities confuse me, but yeah, I'm watching them out there uh they look like nice people um we always kind of wave but I it's weird I don't know if anyone else can relate to this but do you ever have neighbors that you see from a distance

but you never get up close to and you're just like it's weird like I've never even the people that live like like around me like very close like on top of me and all around me I've never really seen their face super clearly that's kind of weird that might say something about myself like I'm not like the people that will check our mail at the same time and I'll see them in my peripheral peripheral vision but I won't actually like get a a good read of their face and that's kind of weird um I will say this I'm I keep saying I will say this but as I've grown up and become more zombified and addicted to my phone like we all have and um I have to say we all have so I don't feel like a loser for saying that I'm addicted to my phone. Um, if you're not, I'm

jealous of you, but I do feel like in social interactions, especially this year, because a lot of us are, we're rusty at it. I feel like people's eye contact is like not an include like my own. I have to really work on my eye contact with people. It's not all there and people are are rushed when they speak they're kind of like I don't know like all over the place I especially notice this with young kids like high schoolers they're really unfocused when they when they sit and have a conversation with you and that's something I actively work on especially like now when I go and socialize with people I really take my time to take a deep breath like look them in the eyes let them talk be calm about it because I think a lot of us are

short attention spans and we have shortest attention spans and we're kind of like I don't know jittery from our caffeine and whatnot and when we talk to people when we talk to strangers it's like it's a hurried thing and it's refreshing when someone sits and talks to you and just like takes a breath, slows down, listens, absorbs, really gets into the conversation with you. And I really strive for that myself. In fact, I did this yesterday at HomeGoods, which is on my little sticky note right here. I went shopping yesterday and I did my laundry. So I uh, I want to talk about that. In fact, at some point in this podcast, you're going to get car audio of me talking in the car, vlogging my laundromat and my home good shopping experience.

I did a little fall refresh around my apartment, picked up a few things. So I love, I love that format of being on the go or that format I love that um spontaneity of being on the go and then doing a voice memo and recording a little update that might be a fun a fun way I um put my podcast together what am I saying put my podcast together I'm you know what I mean like a fun style I do here and there but I do know it's like annoying to hear rough like car audio but um anyways I'm gonna include that and then I'm gonna also include some writing I did last night I didn't sleep very well um damn I feel so calm today compared to the last episodes. I do feel very calm. Is this nice? Are you guys enjoying this disposition in Jacqueline

today a little more than the previous episodes? I mean, I kind of feel good. Like I'm, I'm sitting back. I've got a pillow behind my back. I love my chair. This chair is so, see Jacqueline, you're getting distracted. You're going off on a tangent, but I'll say I love my chair. It's very Victorian and old school I feel like Benjamin Franklin would sit in this type of chair you know what I mean it's kind of wing back it's kind of old it's got wood handles and it's it's cool it's got those little like Victorian looking feet on it you know like the little swirly shit at the at the bottom I'm doing so many hand motions right now and it's this is a whole new phase of life I'm in where I'm, I, I talked to, I do talk to myself as it is, but

podcasting by myself is like, and doing hand motions to no one is, it's really strange. So, um, totally forgot what I was talking about. I wanted to mention how calm I feel and if, if it's good if it's being received well on your end um oh I wasn't sleeping well last night I did some writing I think I'm going to talk about this first because I'm feeling zen enough to talk about it where um if I do the vlog part I think you guys would be like annoyed by the audio and then you'll just, like, not hear the juicy, heavy-hitting topic of the podcast, which is this note I wrote in my phone here. In fact, before I do this, as always, at some point in the podcast, I gotta re-lubricate my mouth. Re-lubricate my mouth. That's disgusting,

but I need to drink water. Um, and then, oh, that's good. got that ph 9.5 water what's the best water dm me what your favorite water is because i even okay i've watched so many youtube videos there's a whole community on youtube that reviews water like the bottled water what one's the best what one's the worst and i swear they all come up with a different answer I never know which you know if it's I know it's not Aquafina and Dasani like obviously but they'll go through every type of water you can purchase in a bottle which I still do I'll put it out there I'm not I suck at not buying plastic bottles I suck I suck um but anyways I still don't know what the the best one is all these like ph 9.5 ones are

super enticing but sometimes I watch those videos I watch one of these videos probably like or probably every two months it's weird I'm like I need I forget which water it is and then it's a different answer so let me know dm me what your what your uh favorite or the best water is to drink don't come at me with the kangen water okay i almost i got sucked into the kangen water thing there someone back when like way back in the day with early early instagram uh times i don't even think you could dm people i think there was a point in time where you couldn't even dm people but this this guy was a forex trader and he was a kangen water dealer which is a kangen water is a I don't know it's like hydrogen infused or mineral infused water that you get set up in

your kitchen like you have to install it it's like the best form of water apparently people talk about on a you know it's also like a youtube community I love that like water is there's a community of youtube that is all about water uh it's very interesting I'm so blessed the fact I can even talk about having a water preference like it's kind of I'm feeling very like grateful and and blessed because there's a whole lot of people in this plan on this planet with a heartbeat right now and a and a and a consciousness that uh are struggling they don't have access to to water so let me just have a little moment of silence for the people struggling out there um I've been feeling really like aware of my privilege lately and very grateful for the

smallest things and um wow water yeah I don't want to keep talking about water I want to talk about what I wrote last night so let me I literally stopped to pause and drink and I got that fucking distracted and I hope I hope that's what you tune in for me maybe that's what some of you tune in for for the distractions and here's the thing as I work on my voice and finding my rhythm and my focus when I podcast you guys are going to hear me critique myself on like as I'm podcasting throughout the podcast like I've been doing for the last week now um because I don't edit I do this and all I do all of this in one take so bear with me um yeah so I do still need more coffee

okay let's dive into what I wrote last night okay so I'm looking at my note here podcast notes for Wednesday I love writing notes to my phone I was up by the way like I went to sleep around 11 then I woke up at like 12 30 and I wrote this so this is like it was yeah and that's probably why I didn't work out this morning everything because I was so tired from my broken sleep. I feel it. I do feel it. Um, yeah, I feel it right now. So I said vowels, vowels sound out on like, wait, vowels sound out. LOL is what I wrote. I guess that means, oh yeah, I've been self-conscious of my vowels and my voice. So I guess that that's a cue for me to say like, wait, what's that Spanish song from high school? I don't know. I don't remember,

but I remember. And, um, I don't remember. Uh, I literally wrote this because I wanted to be funny and sound out my vowels and work it out so I can practice my speaker my podcast voice with you guys so you're gonna so it would be like I think my brain last night was like make this an interactive experience where they can hear you go over your voice uh your voice exercises and I the fact I even care is like just get over it just get get the fuck over it Jacqueline this is your voice is how you sound like stop worrying about it so I'm gonna I'm gonna move on from that but I realized like I wish I had one of those voices like a rasp or something that would make people like really listen it there's people out there like I think about certain um podcasts they

listen to and their voice is so specifically it's like their own like Theo Vaughn he's like hello guys I'm Theo Vaughn I'm from the south I'm from Louisiana like it sounds like he's I'm I'm plugging my nose right now he he's got a country twang and he sounds like this you know what I'm saying so he's sitting there on his couch and he's talking to the podcast and he's talking like this so people really pay attention to him like I wish I had a voice like that you know what I mean something that's like so me and I know this is me and I'm and this is how I sound but I I totally hate it I'm like I wish I had something else can I go get I wish there was a surgery you can get to have a raspy voice, because I think those are so sexy, like,

you know, those people, like, there's always someone in your life, you probably know someone who, forever, like, it's just how they sound, they have a raspy voice, it always sounds like they're sick, and, yeah, so that's on the note here, still not even diving into the deep thought I had and wrote on this note. Um, but I'm going to read it. I'm literally going to read this as I wrote it word for word. I'm not going to try to make it, I'm not going to flow. I'm not going to sit here and flow on this. I'm going to read it as I wrote it. This is, this is you guys getting inside of my brain a little bit here. Um, I'm sharing this with you because a lot of times I will post a thought it's usually right before bed

on social media I'll do like a story on Instagram and I'll do I'll write a lot of stuff I'll write my thoughts on current events on you know my like something personal or whatever but I always get really good feedback about it. Like people really fuck with it. And they're like, wow, fuck. I'm like, you're, thank you for saying this. Or, oh my gosh, I never thought of that or whatever. And part of this podcast is me going like, okay, so I know, like, I never, I don't, I don't think I'm special or, or I don't think I'm, it sucks. I don't know why I have such a low self my self-worth is this is this like I I need to talk to my therapist about this well we do talk about it but my the view I have of myself is like nothing special I don't feel

like when I when I read this this might resonate this might be like oh and you know this might be really interesting for you to to hear or helpful or um or something and even like I won't I will finish this and I'll probably mock myself about it I'll probably joke about it and I won't take what I wrote seriously and I'm going to make a joke at the end of this so I'm just letting you know now that that's probably going to happen because for some reason I can't I just don't think I'm anything special and I'm like who am I to say this so I'm working on that but I think some of you well I know some of you you want to hear what I have to say you want to have a deep long conversation with me you dm me all the time about it I'd love to I'd love to just sit around

and talk to you about this topic or this thing that I would post about I think you have a really interesting perspective so here we go again I was half asleep when I wrote this so bear with me and see there I am doing it I'm already trying to make light of this so all right I wrote I don't know why I always feel a need to comment on social media I don't want to alienate my people I don't want to alienate alienate myself from people who play the game I wrote that and I am going to go on and flow about this a little bit I feel like a lot of the like issues I have with culture and society come down to how people behave on social media and like I said I don't know why I feel the need to comment on it but I'm going to

scroll down here because I remember writing something that makes sense to add to that um I said that uh it's crazy how this oh yeah I said why do I care for whatever reason I feel like I have to have an opposing opinion to things that are popular but I see through a lot of it I feel like I've climbed a mountain and I'm on the other side and I want to help people get there too I come from a good place it's crazy to me how this way of living and posting on social media is a part of the culture now I think I always that this way of living in that I think that's basically lumping all the

cliche, like typical social media, aesthetically nice stuff. Um, I'm, I'm referring to that. Um, I said the fact that business is set up shop to look good on Instagram. It's a, like, I don't like that. It's a lane I don't play in when I see it. Oh, it's a lane I don't play in. And when I see it, I'm the one I'm, I'm the one that's too cool for school I don't want to be like everyone else and take a selfie in front of the wall or whatever there's positives and negatives to everything and this is how I see it like I guess okay I really should just read this top to bottom but I think oh wait I wrote this I wrote this later

I just here's what here's my internal struggle about this is I didn't grow up with social media I'm in the age category where as I grew into my teenage years into my 20s now, it all happened like all of a sudden. So I didn't grow up with it. My brain isn't like fully accepting of it. And like I said, I don't play the game. Like other people play the game. They buy into it. They're like um what what I mean by that is like when people like set up their like everything seems to be like a setup for Instagram or like something it's all like around that what am I trying to say I'm gonna scroll up and finish reading this so I can keep you guys fucking on the same page as me because my thoughts aren't coming out cohesively. Um, like I said, I don't know. I always feel a

need to comment on social media. I don't want to alienate myself from people who play the game. I'm playing the game. I'm a social media person. I'm literally posting a podcast. I don't, I, I don't want to alienate myself from people that it's their career. They take it seriously. they're like into posting shit that's like basic, I guess. I am so attacking basic bitches every fucking podcast, but for whatever reason, I feel a need to comment on it. And is it because I'm also a fellow woman and I'm like, I just can't handle it? I don't think so. It's like, I wish this is what I wish. This is my little soul. This is what my soul wishes. I wish fellow females out there and this guys too because there's a whole guys guys aren't as crazy as girls are on

Instagram about like curating an aesthetic and making everything like you know perfect all the time but I wish I could find this is my little journey to find friends and people that are like-minded to myself I wish I could find people that shared this sort of perspective and don't take it seriously because I find that if like here's a here's the deal when I've been friends or like when I've been friends with when I've socialized not necessarily been friends with like closely with people I find that in in girl like girls my age and stuff I find that they actually like the ones that are actually taking it seriously they're actually like they're just like stories, updates, tags, brand deals, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. It's like constant

all day long. It's like their lifestyle is Instagram. I have a hard time relating to those people. So I, this is my little, like I'm casting out my, my fishing pole and I'm like, can someone out there like, just hit me up if you fuck with this, if you're like, I see it too. And I can't relate to that because I don't take it seriously I'm like this is all phony this is all this isn't real life and I know it's 2020 that we've been talking about this for so long but I'm still talking about it the issue isn't solved and in fact it's getting worse like okay back into what I'm saying because I'm still seeing I'm still seeing the basic annoying to me posting out there it's like it never ends and like I said yesterday I feel like we've beat the horse to death with

bloggers and Instagram stuff like it's just overdone I'm so desensitized it's so saturated products like that okay I even wrote this so I'm going to read this now finally I'm going to read this this is just a stream of consciousness this is some random like this might not make sense until the end I'm talking to like when I say your right now I'm referring to like just imagine like a Instagram blogger chick or something so why am I attacking people I'm a nice person this is a this isn't an attack this is not an attack this is a observation and this is an opinion so I like having solid opinions I respect people with solid opinions so I have solid opinions. Here we go. I wrote, you're good at showing people things. You're good at adjectives

and describing things. You're good at keeping the cycle of consumerism alive. You're good at preying on people's insecurities because they lack what you are selling them and showing them on your stories every day. Yes, you are good at networking, communication, closing business deals, climbing the social ladder but remember you're a soldier being used on the front lines of the internet keeping someone else's dream alive when you boil this all down so what i mean by that is i look at influencers as like soldiers on the front lines working and hustling for brands which is awesome they're keeping someone's dream alive someone somewhere has you know had a a dream to have their own makeup line and so they're have either they have a whole list now whole pr list

of influencers. The PR list is basically your frontline soldiers. You're sending them product and then you're saying, use adjectives, describe this shit, tell people to swipe up. Here's your code. You're keeping my dream alive. That's how I see it. Like I've said it before, I see a lot of things big picture and I have like a very broad, I like zoom the fuck out when I look at stuff and then I zoom in. And so I think that's what I meant by that. Like influencers being little soldiers on the front lines all right keep going here I said it's great people consciously choose what brands and companies they work with good causes eco-friendly I support that so that's the good thing about influencers plugging brands is that we get exposed to a lot of

like you know silicone straws and metal straws instead of plastic straws and recyclable bottles and we and clothing that's that can disintegrate into the earth and um whatever like things that are actually very positive that are good at at um you know helping the environment but here's where it takes a turn in what I wrote I said I'm conflicted because for some reason I wish we didn't care about stuff and the bread and butter of social media wasn't business and making money there's also too much shit being sold to us all the time I'm desensitized at this point how many more makeup collections can be launched it's not special anymore. This goes for every brand in every industry. Marketing has peaked. Maybe I'm

just old and I've been around for a while now and I'm over it because there's kids that are still coming up in a different place in life and they have less exposure than I've had. I'm conflicted because there's so many options. So many things I feel like I should own to be happy. Perfect skincare collection. Perfect makeup collection. Perfect cup to drink coffee out of. Like I even did that the other day I I mean I supported it was small business but a girl hit me up to have one of those like Swarovski crystal Starbucks cups because how many of those have you seen on the internet and I'm like that's gonna make me so happy and I and I definitely use it a lot but it sits in the back of my cupboard most of the time so it's like I got that because of social

media I thought that's the ultimate cup to have is that really sparkly Starbucks cup you know what I hope some of you guys know what I'm talking about when they take those little like tiny crystals and they put them on shit yeah I have one of those Starbucks cups now okay so perfect uh cup to drink coffee out of perfect way to fold your pants in a drawer that's even a thing now like perfect organization perfect pantry god forbid I don't keep all of my cereal in those white lid containers and label them with a label maker if you see like people inside people's houses on home tours on youtube and stuff it's like everyone has the same fucking organization pattern in their pantry because of social media and so I get like if

I have stuff in my I'm not that OCD about it but like there was a time when I first moved into this apartment where I'm like why am I on Amazon looking for all these containers that match why am I going to waste like $300 on getting an entire Tupperware setup for my apartment it's because of fucking social media I get distracted so there's like an hour of my life on Amazon looking at that to fulfill some sort of void of like when I go to my pantry I want it to look like I want it for me to be happy it has to all like look nice um oh perfect hair products perfect yoga pants I put like a whole list here oh my god some people even promote getting fillers done so nonchalantly like it's a normal it's as normal as buying grocery it's insane what if we didn't talk

about this shit who would we be what would we care about it's all a distraction from ourselves yes it's fun it involves creativity self-love and self-expression again why do I care like I said earlier for whatever reason I feel like I have to have an opposing opinion because to things that are popular because I see through all of it like I said earlier I've climbed them out and I feel like I'm on the other other side I want to get people there too um let me go further down because I already read that I don't want to be like everyone else I don't know why that's the dynamic of my personality but it is um because I do I want to see change in the world and this is the change I want to see there's positives and negatives this is how I see it

okay this is like my perspective on the solution how are you guys doing this podcast is fucking interesting I still haven't gotten to the vlog part the funny part where I'm like in my car going to the laundromat but that's coming so you can skip ahead if you're kind of like over this over this type of rant I keep doing but I want to get this out of my system this needs to get out into the universe so when people come across me and they start listening to my podcast and they're on episode six they're like oh I get her I like get her you know what I mean maybe they'll slide into my dms and they're like hey I want to be your friend I don't know that's my that's my dream like this is literally to find

people that are like on the same fucking page okay so the solution to materialism and external distractions to pile on your physical being and life experience is simple I said this is simple the solution to materialism because that's how I think of social media and everything we're exposed to it's this giant pile of external fluff and shit that we like surround ourselves with I'm talking about you see it on social media you buy it you do something and post about it on social media that's what I mean so the solution is simple I wrote know that what I just said is a hard fact and truth I'm no expert but I've read all the gurus shout out Eckhart Tolle I'm looking at his book right now A New Earth but uh yeah Eckhart Tolle A New Earth really woke me up because

he talks about uh like being like basically what I said earlier about like the external versus the internal and the ego and everything so that's a fresh uh book on my brain right now in my brain so I think that's why I'm sharing or I'm I'm riffing on this perspective right now it's because of that book and I'm a type of learner I think where once I once I know something or I and I and I absorb it and I read the information it's like I can't unsee it and so with that book for example and a lot of other books um within that kind of like guru-y category that I've read they all kind of boil things down to the self and the ego and you know external shit I can't even like make up what's the term like external stuff is so like it's not it's not

the way it's on the path it's not the truth you know what I mean it's like the more you can strip that down and peel back those layers the more fulfilled you will become okay wow I'm no I'm I'm not a guru I'm just I'm regurgitating information literally this is all these are my thoughts and this is what I wrote but I'm regurgitating and putting together stuff that I've already kind of come across before so know that what I just said is a hard fact and truth why I'm really confident when I wrote that um why is this podcast so fucking deep I even wrote that of my note like I knew at this point in the paragraph I was going to be like annoyed that I went this deep on the podcast but whatever so know that that's the truth then work on lessening

your consumption consumption slowly but surely I said I've mentioned I've got anxiety about spending money and buying new things because the happiness is so temporary and the amount of anything I buy is never enough and that's so true like the second you buy something it's like fun for two seconds and then it slowly isn't exciting anymore and that's why I'm so nervous to buy a car like I'm due for a new car but I'm nervous that I'll buy a new car and then I'll think it's cool because it's the one I want and I you know really like forked out a lot to have it and whatever and then a month will go by and I'll be in my car and it won't be as like cool and like it's exciting anymore and I've recognized that with the smallest thing down to like um I'm even looking at

a new mug I bought yesterday and I'm like it was cute when I bought it it was like five bucks at home goods but now I'm like I kind of like I feel like I should I don't want to I I shouldn't have bought it I have like buyer's remorse really bad because of happiness I like realized that I judge myself I'm like okay I'm such an overthinker you guys are probably like what the fuck it's not like just literally all of this is one giant overthinking shit storm including my comments on social media influencers bloggers all that stuff one giant overthinking thing I should say fuck it all Jacqueline let people live how they want to live why do you have to comment on it but this is my learning uh this is a learning experience I'm on a journey and

I think at some point here's where I'll get at at this pot you know with this podcast is it's all good all these thoughts I have these initial thoughts that have been piling up over the last years just my experience on social media they're gonna get out and then I won't beat the horse to death every episode and keep talking about this I don't want to make the theme of this show like fuck influencers social media is corrupt everyone needs to read Eckhart Tolle and become more woke like me and not care about external shit to make them happy. Um, I don't want to make that the theme because like I've always said, I want this to be fun and entertaining and I can't wait to post the next part of this podcast is going to be the shit show of me in the

car and at the laundromat and everything. So moving on. Um, okay. The solution is just know what I said is like pretty factual I mean it's not that hard to see that materialistic shit isn't the way to happiness we all talk about it we still fucking do it I still do it uh I'm not I am not an expert I even wrote that um um yeah so I wrote this too this isn't this is a I think this is a good thing I wrote I said I don't see a lot of people talk about their families and local communities it's weird kids grow up now with a profile and an online avatar of themselves and their whole life is focused on them on themselves I don't know what I meant by that I just feel like yeah I noticed it myself too once I got profiles and social media

it started my life started to be more all of it started to be all about me and it was like an addiction like i started my myspace in seventh grade excuse me oh that's so gross fuck i always burp on there's always a point in the podcast where i let out a little a little burp sorry but i do remember in middle school when i had myspace the adrenaline of like oh my gosh i'm seeing myself in a positive beautiful way on on the screen and other people are looking at it too and look at me look at me and that's never ended it's still like literally now I'm making a podcast and it's a way of life for so many people it's just what everyone does and the result is of that is is what I wrote here um well this is one of the

results of that I said I don't see a lot of people talk about their families and communities I said we need more empathy and compassion and I wish people would talk more about a struggling family member that we can all relate to a story from their grandma a great teacher they had in school the janitor they remember that uh the janitor they remember that gossiped about the teachers with or handed out them handed out candy bars to them in elementary school i don't know what that that was like a random 1 a.m thought at that point people are important stories about people are important especially struggles because people would be more accepting of themselves that they didn't feel like the only one that was going through it

it's a cliche but i wrote it they would they wouldn't seek external shit to make themselves feel better i said hoodies and makeup is dog shit in comparison in our values as a culture are upside down yeah okay so that's what i'm wrecked that's what i'm um realizing here that our culture values i mean we're consumers it's just the structure of our of our society it's the way it is for whatever reason people like little shiny cute new things little shiny cute new things what it is

little shiny cute new things okay wow um I did it yesterday and I I bought a bunch of shit at home goods and I did need I did need it it was a need thing most of it a lot of it was a want but I did need a lot of it but um back to my note like I just I see so much like hype around like fast fashion and hoodie collections and makeup brands dropping in they like the amount of makeup launches at this point is just insane it's like they're dropping more there's makeup collections there's more makeup collection drops than there are people on this fucking planet at this point um FedEx truck just drove by more makeup drops I was trying to make an analogy there I don't think it worked did not work definitely seven billion makeup drops not a

thing. But yeah, I'm just over it. So I want to pivot this podcast at this point moving forward and finish this train of thought. In summary, in conclusion, there's always that point in the essay you write. In conclusion, were you guys, how did you, how did you start the last paragraph of an essay. I was a basic, I was a basic chick with the, the in conclusion, just that's what it is in conclusion. All I want to say is that the, the goal, because it's like, what is the purpose here. The goal of me stringing out thoughts and writing all that down last night was because I, as I mentioned yesterday, I used to be in a place where my life revolved a lot around social media and, like, how I looked online and it was so important to me to, like,

have an aesthetic and like I was like so wrapped up in that like worrying about it and I hope there's a lot of like 18 19 20 year olds listening because this is the age that I'd like to be speaking to right now honestly I feel like a lot of older people like a mature like mid-20s and 30s adults are like Jacqueline shut the fuck up this is like redundant information Like, duh. But, um, cause a lot of us at this point, if you're older and wiser, you're like, okay, this is obvious. Duh. But I, I do, I'm like speaking to my younger self in this episode a little bit because I wish I knew this, this, the value, the stuff I valued and prioritized at that point in my, in my, uh, earlier teens and twenties is, uh, it's just, it was such

an unnecessary phase I went through if I only knew, you know what I mean? So the whole purpose of this is to get people that are kind of still stuck in that world, that culture. And just like help i i just wish people were more aware self-aware of how they look and how they're contributing to a bunch of just a bunch of unnecessary shit the thing is it's like a vicious cycle because it's all about business it's all about making the world go money's you know it's all making the world go around right like plugging brands working with brands getting yourself um more your personal your it's personal game because you're climbing the social ladder you're uh getting free shit most of the time a lot of the time or discounted shit so that's

great for you your um environment looks sweet because you get to fluff up your bathroom with all these nice skincare products and your wardrobe gets you know always it always gets updated with the new clothes and you get these vacations because a hotel will let you know like work with you to a partner with you to what am I trying to say do like collabs vacations it's all great for you and it's great for them too because the business is staying open the brand is growing you're helping them out you're on the fucking front lines like I've said I think of influencers as like frontline soldiers on the internet shout out to them and I'm not discrediting the fact that it's a hustle and it's a job and I'm not this isn't about that it's just like a

broader pulled back perspective at the whole thing like Jesus Christ this isn't the bet like is this honestly the way of life now like I'm I'm being a boomer I'm being like an old timer like I I didn't grow up with it now I see it and I'm like did we really have to go down this route of consumerism and social media and influencers and all this shit like there's a piece of me that's just like can we can we evolve out of this like I'm I'm exhausted of it it's like it's overdone I'm over it I wish there was a different way we showed up online as a society instead of swipe up discount here's a product you need it's like it never ends and this is also what I've personally expose myself to meaning the people I follow people I watch but I think this is

relatable for a lot of you guys because even when I'll be like okay just follow people from like you know your hometown like people that aren't really in the world of influencers and stuff like even when I do that I'm like they're fucking our bone or our bond reps or they're like that's the I think it's like a supplement company thing that it's like a they say it's not a pyramid scheme but like it is you know what I mean like they're they're involved in some sort of like social media product plugging thing or um whatever like you can't avoid it all it's it's at the point now where it doesn't matter like you can curate your audience or your um who you follow however you want but it's hard it's really hard to avoid getting shit thrown

in your face all day like I'm talking about like products and new this new that new experience new course new book to read it's even that too I'm not just talking I will say I'm not just talking about like makeup clothes girly shit vacations all that kind of stuff this is even there's even an information overload of the positive stuff sometimes which is like the self-help course the book to read the meditation practice you should do the it's like it's everything it's at the point now where every corner of and every like think of your day-to-day like when you wake up everything from your coffee cup like I mentioned before to the podcast you're listening to on the way to the coffee shop that's going to give you the self-help that you need apparently

someone recommended to you literally I'm on I'm a podcaster right now how am I even saying this I'm fucking I'm part of the problem I'm part of the problem here I am fuck I can't it's unavoidable I'm just saying it's this vicious cycle I am I'm in I'm in a weird tornado of thoughts right now um to you know the clothes you put on in you know on the way to the coffee shop to the sticker you stick on your laptop while you sit there and work on the coffee shop everything it's just like there's so much shit that was such a weird example I don't know like what would the world be like if there was no exposure to advertising in any way, who would we be, what would we do, that kind of, like, gets me excited, I'm like,

what would that life be like, where our choices were not, they didn't revolve around that, they didn't revolve around seeking stuff, it's just, like, and I'm working on it, I'm not perfect, I'm not an expert, I'm not a guru, I'm not a monk, just sitting there, like, not doing, literally just sitting there meditating for the whole, my whole life, there's obviously a balance with all of this and I I'm just I'm longing for that so fuck I'm like coming down for my coffee I'm self-conscious about what I just talked about like I said earlier I don't know why I feel a need to comment on this but now it's out there I think this was the last episode where I'll talk about social media and my beef with how it's being

um, executed every day and what I'm seeing. Um, and now we can move on to the fun part of the podcast. So at this point, um, just looking at my note here to make sure I got it all out. Yeah. Who's annoyed. Raise your hand if you're annoyed. Do I have any hate listeners right now? Like, you know how people hate follow where they're like, Oh, this fucking bitch, but I can't stop watching your story. You know what I mean? Shout out to you guys. I know how that feels. like I personally um I hate follow something like some there's I go in phases with certain people where I'm like why am I still following them but I like can't not watch their story or or consume their content so I realized like I'm I might be that person to some people other you

know people listening right now and I got a big heart let's be friends let's let's bond over the fact that we we like have it we hate follow people or we're like weirdly annoyed or jealous of other people like I get so I'm like I get in my head where I'm like I don't know if I'm annoyed by you or I'm jealous of you it's such a weird at that point I just mute or unfollow I'm like I can't it's too much for my brain to handle um am I am I judgmental am I okay I need more coffee right now this is where the podcast start is gonna start getting lit because I'm like coming down from my deep thought I think that was like an hour and a half long this podcast is gonna be fucking three hours I was like a big-ass slurp but am I judgmental am I bitchy like

again I keep I keep having to get this out there I I come from a good place like I want to see a difference in the way things look on social media and the way people like act and stuff and so I'm I'm speaking on that I do like I love all people I'm I'm so like like I've said before I'm like a fucking golden retriever. I want to be friends with everyone. I don't want to alienate myself from people. Um, I want to, you know what I mean? Like, I just think it's necessary. I have this like weird calling to fucking get this out and say it. I don't know. Um, but then it makes me feel judgmental and like this is like my whole ego talking it's not because you know oh Jacqueline well if you really came from a place of love and acceptance and you wouldn't have any opinions

about this and you would just be like oh let the influencers frolic on the front lines and do what they're doing and who cares like yeah like when it all comes down to it I don't care I don't hyper focus on it but it's been years of seeing the same shit different day and I'm like okay here's my opinion about it you know what I mean like I think it'd be it's it's natural to have opinions on things that are that everyone else is also seeing you know what I mean it's part of life it's part of like coming into my own becoming the woman I'm gonna be and I do like when I think about my favorite people in the world that I respect the most they all have solid opinions they have solid opinions you always know where they stand you're not like oh I wonder what

they think about this topic and this issue because they talk about it they get it out there and then you're like wow I and I I get them and part of the reason I'm doing this podcast I said this yesterday is because I just want to be understood fully like top to bottom so the way I'm doing that is doing a daily podcast and you guys are going to know every little detail of my life and that's the way it is. So moving on to the fun part of the podcast, I'm going to, this might not make any sense or flow, but I'm going to play the audio from my car ride. Um, I was talking about going to the laundromat and going to home goods and it might not make any sense, but it might be entertaining. It's going to be more funny and light than what I just talked about. So here it

is. Enjoy. This is going to be interesting. As crazy and as psychotic as this may be. And I think it's cause it feels this way, especially at first. Cause I'm not used to podcasting. Um, that's my blinker by the way. I'm going to shut that off. I'm in the car driving, uh, two hands are on the wheel. I'm podcasting, um, the voice memo right now, but, uh, here's the deal. I've never taken, um I've never taken myself seriously as I guess an entertainer or I've never seen myself that way even though everyone else around me tells me that all the time I don't see it myself so it's gonna take a while for me to accept it and embrace it but I don't want it to go to my head I don't want to feel like all high and mighty because the sound of my voice makes people laugh or gives them,

it gives them joy and happiness every day when they listen to me. Like, I don't want that to go to my head. I don't want to think about it. I just want to be myself, talk however I do, say whatever I'm going to say every day. And, um, I don't want to, I just don't want to overthink it like that. Uh, cause the second I take myself seriously and go, Jacqueline, you're like, you're a comedian, you're an entertainer, you're a funny person on the internet. And this is like, this is a potential profession as a podcaster someday. Like you could actually go places and do something with this. The second I started taking it that seriously, i just i don't know i i that gives me anxiety i freak out like i i just i'm a regular girl on

on the internet and i just have a natural calling to do this and i i think i'm a person for the job you know what i mean like there's different strokes for different folks i'm looking at two hot air balloons right now. I'm on the Del Mar freeway here up in San Diego, North County, and there are two hot air balloons. Oh, there's three. They are in the clouds and it is, it is so, uh, smoky out. I don't understand what's going on. Who would get in a hot air balloon right now with this amount of smoke and in the air? How's that? How's that happening? I mean, I know that business has to stay up in the hot air balloon business here. But like, Jesus Christ, I hope they have ventilators up there for them because

I don't know how they're surviving because the smoke is worse up there than it is down here. Back to what I was saying. I don't know what I was saying. Here's the thing. I get sidetracked. I can't get back on task. Um, but yeah, that's where I'm at. I, you know, I'm, I, I'm just a rape. I'm like, I don't think anyone like thinks highly of themselves that are professionals at this shit. Like, I don't think any, I think cause we're all our own worst critics and we're all perfectionists and we're all like, um, I don't know, like I'll never stop explaining the fact that I don't think I'm special. And I just, I just don't, I think that's going to get annoying after a while, but I let me have this time

at first, you know, with the podcast to get that off my chest and just get it over with because I really am scared that people are going to think that I am like on my little high horse here with my podcast. Do you know what I mean? Like, no, like I'm nobody. I'm literally nobody. I'm in my car and I'm staring at a cracked windshield. I've had this cracked windshield, by the way, since I moved to California and I haven't

gotten it taken care of. And if anyone knows me with this car, yep, if you've been around for a couple of years, so you know the car i'm talking about windshield still cracked okay i'm just a regular chick i'm drinking out of my pickle jar right now uh my little caffeine i'm having right now 6 p.m just dropped my clothes off the laundromat so yeah that's what i wanted to say um i'm gonna go get some fall decor at home goods right now i am the girl buying all the fall candles all the little pumpkins all the little ghosts all that cute shit for my apartment that's me. And, uh, I love it. It's therapy for me. I love walking around, uh, home goods. And I think

I said this two days ago now, but, um, still looking at the hot air balloons. They're everywhere, everywhere in Del Mar. I don't understand. Um, it's too smoky out for that. That should be a news headline. That should be a national news headline. People, um, they're not, their lungs aren't fucked up from coronavirus. Their lungs are fucked up from the hot air balloon in the forest fire smoke at 3000 feet. So yeah, I'm at HomeGoods just parked. Podcast is going to be insane because I'm doing voice memos and I'm also doing regular talking and the audio is just a shit show right now. I didn't make a priority. Um, I didn't make it a priority in the last couple episodes with the new microphone to like, what's the term? Edit it, master it. Is that a word?

master the audio remix, because at this point I'm just trying to get in the flow. I'm trying to put stuff out there and get in the rhythm of posting and worry. I'll worry about the production quality later on. But the first, the first part of the series here, this is season one. I decided I'm going to do season one is 2020 season two, 2021. Um, so when you're scrolling over the next, uh, 10, 12, 15, 20, 25, 30 years of me doing this for my career, you'll see the different years as season seasons. So yeah. Um, that's partially a joke, but partially not because as I've said before, my brain sees stuff long-term and when I get committed to something, I'm like, bitch, you're in this for life. Like you're going to your grave as a podcaster. That's where I'm at

right now because my mom even asked me it was so creepy like i've never had her ask me this before but she asked me on the phone just a couple days ago jacqueline when do you think you're gonna die i was like what the fuck i stopped and i was like oh my god are you like i i couldn't i was like are you anticipating something about me and i'm like whoa i know i'm 26 i don't think i'm gonna join the 27 club even though that weirdly crosses my mind because i don't know like this years made me more aware of death than ever but um she's like jacqueline i asked you that because yeah do the podcast it makes you happy like live a life fulfilled by what you're doing like do it that's what she told me she's like i want you to be happy you're gonna die someday so fucking go

for it and i love that support i think i'm lucky and i'm very grateful for the the family support i get because pretty much anything i've ever wanted to do i don't get kickback and negativity from my family. I usually just get support and they're all behind me and like clapping their hands, like excited. So whatever, that's a, that's a great feeling. Um, I'm going to go into Home Goods now. Uh, I can't really do a haul on a podcast, but just assume that I'm going to walk out with, Oh yeah, I was saying this earlier. I'll go around here for an hour or so. And then I'll have like 25 things in my cart and then I'll end up walking out with one candle. That's usually what happens but I get excited about um all the stuff I'm gonna find then I have anxiety

about spending money because I hate spending money and yeah I usually don't get anything but just looking at the cute fall stuff makes me all happy and seeing like right now mom and she's got three kids a couple little blonde toddlers in the cart she's pushing looks like she's got the nanny with her it's kind of place I live over here well I used to live in Del Mar but kids all right anyways I'm gonna go into home goods back to the podcast here's the part where I say and now back to the studio hi from the studio I'm editing this the next day I just want to let you know that the audio in the next clip sucks but the content is great so I'm keeping it um it was recorded through my airpods that are breaking and it sounds really muffled but

pretend you're on a phone call with me uh just pretend we're we're on the phone and that's how sounds okay bye just got out of home goods this is now a vlog podcast I want to say that I had some male interaction there was a mid-30s very handsome very handsome uh you know tall and dark my type typical and turns out we walked out at the same time and with his like aesthetic and vibe in there on his own like late at night so that was very attractive to me um you know it's like why aren't we doing this together um I'm sounding so desperate at this point in 2020 but it's kind of like that but anyways we walked out together he hopped in the whip and uh we had a little interaction at the car cart putting like putting back our carts together and I said have a good

night awkwardly, and we made eye contact, and I was like, you know what, that was nice, it felt nice, you know what I mean, like, caught his eye in the store, walked out together at the same time, you know, sweet, so I'm on my way home now, I actually have to go back to the laundromat, pick up my fucking laundry, now, I have a laundry service at my apartment I can use, but for whatever reason, I will fork out an extra 30 bucks a month to do it, even though I drive 30 minutes, 30 minutes north to a laundromat that the only reason I go to it, so I'm wasting gas doing that, wasting money. The only reason I go to it is because, first of all, it's up in Del Mar where I used to live. It's kind

of nice to go back to my old hood, you know, be by the beach and kind of be in the quiet part of San Diego. And I need to stay focused on the road. I am on the freeway! This is the vlog, podcast, sound quality sucks, I'm trying to keep you entertained and drive at the same time. Okay, I come up to Del Mar 30 minutes north, and the reason I go to this laundromat, and I don't pay for the one in my apartment, is because, yes, it gets me out of town, it gets me on the road, it gets me back up to Del Mar, but what I'm trying to say is that it accepts a card, like, it accepts my visa on the washing machine and the dryers instead of quarters, because I don't want to collect quarters, I don't want

have to keep track of quarters. I should have sought out an apartment that has it in unit. The one I have is on site, but I just don't want to pay $30 to do it. I won't. I'm a cheap ass. So where I'm going with this is it accepts my visa and I feel like I'm screaming. It accepts my visa and the thing I love about it is it's a laundromat that doesn't smell like a laundromat. It smells nice. Like right now it's going into fall and they're sprinkling in some sort of like apple spice glade spray in there every now and then so it just smells like I'm walking into someone's home there's a nice little reading nook there all the books are like new books like these aren't books that are every time I'm in a laundromat that

and there's a reading nook the books are like mystery novels from 1987 and uh fucking like love stories love romance novels romance novels usually they're full like the laundromat has a reading nook full of old shit and so i appreciate the fact that this laundromat smells nice has a reading nook that has new books like i can go read um an autobiography of biography on rachel ray or like dave jobs's autobiography or you know what i mean like current shit um also there's like the Hunger Games. I could sit there and read the Hunger Games, Harry Potter. This is a with it coffee shop. This is a with it laundromat and I appreciate it. In addition to two things I just mentioned, this laundromat has a vending machine of coffee. I know that I'm in a bougie

area of town. I'm in Del Mar. Okay. It's a ritzy fucking place compared to other cities in san diego or other parts of san diego i'm willing to drive up here to do my laundry and have a good time because um shit okay that car almost t-boned me pulling out of the talker shop don't appreciate that look both ways before you back up i'm gonna end this part of the vlog home goods was a great experience i picked up i didn't even tell you what i got oh my gosh now i have to do the whole part that i said i would do and welcome back to the studio the end of that audio got completely muffled and cut off. So I'm going to give you a little two second haul here, wrap this podcast up. This is all over the place, but whatever. I'm staring at some new kitchen

towels I picked up yesterday because the old ones I had were too like spring and summery. So I got these nice plaid, like orangey red and yellow print kitchen towels. They're hanging on my oven handle. I'm looking at a new cheetah print pillow for my couch to kind of warm it up. It's super fluffy. I mentioned before that my pillows are kind of on their last legs from lounging around in quarantine for so long. It was kind of time that I got new pillows. I also got a fluffy pillow, a fluffy furry white pillow for my bed. I'm looking at a new fall blanket that is also plaid kind of yellow and ties ties into the color of another throw pillow I got which is a mustardy sheeny velvety crushed velvet vibe pillow I also picked up see some candles I got

six candles for fall now mom I know you're listening you're like Jacqueline stop spending your money and I also told myself that I didn't just walk out with one candle which is what I anticipated getting overwhelmed knowing that buying all this stuff is gonna immediately make me depressed because it's I get happy for two seconds and then it goes away but I did feel like I needed a refresh and so I invested in some things that are gonna make my living experience this fall a little more straight streamlined and seamless I'm not gonna be spending wasted energy on getting frustrated by looking at an old pillow okay it's good for my mental health what else did I get I got a new lemon squeezer because I squeezed so many lemons in the one

lemon squeezer I've had I swear since college that it broke the hinge gave out the other day so I got a new lemon squeezer that was a need mom I needed that I got a new peanuts little uh Charlie Brown Halloween mug made me really happy when I saw it because that's a complete throwback to childhood and I'm I like I like surrounding myself with things that remind me of of being like 12 years old again so I got a little mug I got some whiteboard markers from my board all my other ones were dried out I was still using like a black one that was I just kept I kept using it you know what I mean like it was done it was done but I finally bought a new one um and then I got a little fluffy rug for my bedroom to match the fluffy pillow it's a

white fluffy rug like a shearling sheep rug because I have hardwood floors not a flex it's not about like oh I have hardwood floors but the hardwood floors are kind of cold and I like having cozy cozy surfaces under my feet when I wake up you know what I mean so I got a fluffy rug um the fact I even had to say that's not a flex like do people like I know when I listen to other people talk they're like it's so they'll say the most subtle thing and I'm like you're just showing off you're just showing off you have hardwood floors Jacqueline nobody is like you know yeah I always that's the thing like I said earlier I always have to take things down to a humble level and yeah I just did that again so that's the haul um have a great

Wednesday I'm totally self-conscious of this episode I'm already overthinking it but I'm gonna post it I hope that you uh enjoyed it and it was a good little time with Jacqueline all over again another day another podcast under my belt I'm literally like on my way to becoming a radio host at this point if I do this every morning I do want to have a little morning jingle I want to have a jingle in the beginning of this you should dm me if you have any ideas or suggestions for a sound that would fit my podcast vibe because like I don't know I just there's so many ways I could, I could, I could do it, or so many genres I could have, I have to choose from, so I just want to have a little, like, cute jingle. The Jacqueline Monroe Show.

Self-title, or my name, the, what am I trying to say? I did want to end this, but I can't. I named it the Jacqueline Monroe Show because I thought about, like, the fact that if someone was like oh yeah Jacqueline's podcast if they search on wherever they're going to look for the for a podcast if they search my name they'll find it it'll just pop up because I have a hard time with certain titles of people's um podcast I forget their name like I remember the name of the podcast but I don't really know who it is and um like I like the lady gang I mentioned yesterday I couldn't name a single one of the ladies on the lady gang podcast so it's important for me, just for my, um, I don't know, like, searchability, I guess, to use my name for my

podcast, and it rhymes, The Jacqueline Monroe Show, The Jacqueline Monroe Show, a lot of people think my name's fake or something, I don't know why, uh, I was named after Jacqueline Kennedy, uh, and it's weird, I put together, like, six years ago that my last name's Monroe, the whole affair situation with JFK and everything is, it's kind of ironic, um, that's my name, but, uh, it's so 60s, like, What a throwback. Perfect for my old little soul. I'm tired. I finished that pumpkin cold brew thing I got or iced espresso I got this morning and I'm ready to get to work. So I do have a job, guys. I do have an actual job. Get to work and have a great rest of my day. Get some food in me too. I'm also hungry. I always get hungry at the end of podcasting. Okay, guys,

have a great Wednesday and I will talk to you tomorrow. Bye.