The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 65- Saturdaycast: Q&A #9

Episode Date: November 8, 2020

Happy Saturday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up guys? It's episode 65. Welcome back to the show. hello welcome back to the show it's jacqueline happy saturday if you're new I do a Q&A every single Saturday we're going to jump into it but before that go ahead and subscribe leave a review on the podcast app jump over to YouTube to watch this and yeah let's get into it um a couple things first of all new president Joe Biden uh officially unofficial today or unofficially official I think there still has to they have to continue out the legal shit for probably the next month until it's decided but that happened today the internet was going crazy and look I've been really self-disciplined all year to um not emotionally

react and get triggered by other people that disagree with me on politics like for the most part I stay following people I'm open to conversation I I think that um I I tweeted I was like make disagreeing with people an interesting conversation again but now it's like oh we're not friends anymore. I'm going to stop following you. I can't even talk to you or look at you if you are in support of Trump or Biden or whatever. And in my opinion, it's an interesting conversation to have a debate and disagree with people. And, uh, that's a great way to bond with your friends and like get to know other people's perspectives. So basically today I said, fuck that shit. I'm, I'm watching a lot of people I thought I respected post a lot of, um, negative F Donald

Trump, horrific, just like the, the worst content I've ever seen towards Donald Trump on the day Biden gets elected. Like I could not help myself, but to unfollow, like, I don't know how many people, I just couldn't take it. I'm like, how are these, how are these people not getting canceled for saying you know posting memes and photos and all these disgusting things like fuck Donald Trump and these are people that everyone like loves as a celebrity and as an actor and entertain it's like what the what it's so strange to me so here's what I want to um offer up today on the podcast I think we need a major overhaul I feel like as far as respect goes and being respectful people online um towards people in leadership people that are leading our boat or

captaining our captaining our ship okay um you'll never hear me I will never shit on Biden I think who is it that said this day Frisella's like Andy Frisella's like I'm not gonna uh blow holes in the bottom of my ship or whatever like take pop shots at the the captain who's gonna keep me afloat okay so I'll never do that it's not my character it's not who I am but I do think I feel like I'm back in my first day of high school when I was a freshman coming out of 10 years of Catholic school private school like super strict super different I remember this feeling and I felt it today while I was scrolling social media looking at people's posts I was like this is what it felt like when I watched people disrespect the teachers just like out loud being just calling

them teacher not calling Mr. and Mrs. Smith you know they call them hey teacher and they'd be rude and they would be um they call out just like I don't want to do this and you know they're really they're just immature uh disrespectful kids and I don't understand I'm like I'm watching adults today you know everyone's excited we've got a new president I get it I think there's a million reasons to be excited today okay I'm optimistic I think we're you know I I joke I'm like we're gonna take a nap for the next four years it's gonna be very calm but maybe that's a good thing I don't know we're gonna find out uh but the amount of horrific just awful posts people said about Donald Trump I I had it I had it today I'm like look I don't want to associate with people

and I don't want to promote or support people that are basically saying fuck you to someone that was our president for the last four years I wasn't raised like that I don't care how much you hate somebody you'll never I'll hate I hate somebody you'll never see me I don't care what level of success or I it doesn't matter I will never go online and outright say that and think it's fine and that's what I don't understand it's all these people that have a shit ton of followers they're big major celebrities and they're not getting canceled over doing that because it's it's mainstream to hate Trump it's cool it's like sexy to say fuck Donald Trump so end rant that was what I did today I also um I'll do my quick life updates before I get into the Q&A the whole point

of the show today hey Saturday we're doing a Q&A and had to get that off my chest you guys might want to I don't know just understand that we need to get back to a point where we have class employees and respect and nothing about the internet is that like I know it sounds kind of like oh this isn't the fucking 50s you know we're not sipping milkshakes together and going to the diner and like wearing our poodle skirts but I don't know again I just don't understand the psychology of doing that and thinking that you're some like you're you I don't understand how people can feel good about that knowing I've got millions of people following me and I'm gonna post fuck Donald Trump I just it's it's very strange I I don't understand I don't understand um anyways

uh yeah let's get into my day quickly I um woke up to my mom texting me she's like got a new president and then I checked and I was like on the news you know like everyone else and I was watching it it was cool um literally I went brain dead today in fact I went so I went to look at furniture I had to verify that I had the right couch I'm getting the right couch and I don't think it's gonna fit guys I had this couch I really wanted and I I can customize it but it might take until the end of February and I'm like I don't know if I can wait that long so I've been trying to find other options I was at multiple stores today kind of zoned out walking just like going around town people honking you know everyone's the energy was wild here in San

Diego and it's cool to see you know I'm all about collective energy whenever people are coming together and it's positive i'm all for it um so that's cool i have to admit that was cool to see uh i saw a lot of tweets people are like for the first time i saw american flags going around today and it wasn't triggered so if we can get half the population to get on board with the american flags that didn't like him previously that's awesome think about it we got the trump supporters down for the american flag and now the people that voted for biden are all like we like the flag now so a hundred that's like a hundred percent of the population down for it so that's progress that's cool see I was buzzing around town today I went to get groceries but

it was funny how at the store um I I love grocery outlet I don't know if you guys have ever been to one but I found one here in San Diego and I'm like this is my childhood all over again I love it because it's like you find the coolest stuff there because it's what's it's like the knockoff or no how do I explain it I feel like the grocery outlets hold the food that doesn't sell at like Whole Foods and like other like I don't know like cool grocery stores and so they have it all there and then they have like a fun little gift section they had a bunch of Christmas stuff set up and a couple things happened in the store today I don't want to all I want to say is this you guys can read between the lines I had after I went grocery shopping the best day like I felt so like

this is what life's all about after I went to the store because uh I I helped someone and it was the type of thing where okay I'll just tell you fuck it you know what this is like not that serious I just don't like to come I don't think you I don't think people that do good deeds and talk about it it's like they're doing it for personal gain and I don't want to be like that so understand that I don't I I want to maybe like inspire other people to do something like this or just think about it more because here's what happened I'm in the store in the Christmas section at the grocery store they had all these cute little things and I found these there were two left there were these little like unicorn um horsey things that were really cute they had

sparkles on them they were ornaments really cute there was a pink one and a white one that there were two left and I was thinking I was going to give one to my cousin for Christmas because she's like two now or one and a half she's almost two but I was like this is so cute I have to give it to her so I had it planned I was like I'm going to keep one for me and I'm going to give one to her anyways I was um bumping carts with the lady in the aisle she's like oh those are so cute where did you find those and then I like told her where the aisle was and right there I knew that I took the last two and in my head I was like I don't want to like I shit like there aren't any left and I had a split second thought like I literally dipped I was like I don't want to see her go to

the aisle and not find them and then we have to see her not notice they were there because she was an older lady she's probably in her 60s 70s first she asked me about face lotion she's like what do you what do you like to use on your feet you're young what do you use on your face for face lotion so I was looking around and helping her and then she asked me about the little horsies and then I told her but when she asked I showed her the aisle I was like fuck I'm gonna feel bad and then I went around I like got out of the aisle and went away and kept I went to like the produce section and I felt like shit I was like like I don't like the fact that I took the last two she thought they were really cute and so long story short we bumped into each other again

in a produce aisle and uh this is like a kind of this is like a romantic story kind of actually it turns romantic so I she's like I asked her I was like hey because I knew she didn't find him cause like there was two left. I was like, Hey, did you, did you pick one out? Did you find one of the horses? And she's like, no, there were none left. And I was like, Hey, look, you're like, what one would you like? I'll give you one right here. You know, pick your, what color do you want? I'll, I'll give it to you. I don't care. And she's like, Ooh, like, no, it's okay. And I'm like, no, seriously. Like I don't need to. And she's like, okay. Uh, I really liked the white one. So I was like it's yours it's all yours and this guy this hot produce man so anyways I fell immediately so

the man aside so this is what happened I gave it to her and this hot man was like that is so awesome and said that like under his breath if you know what I mean like he wasn't saying it to me but like he just said it like what the fuck did I just witness this never happens because I realized that I think I have thoughts to be like helpful and like I want to do nice things like that but sometimes I don't act on it I don't actually do it and in that moment when I saw her in the produce section again and I knew she didn't find a little ornament like I did I felt like I will not be able to sleep tonight knowing I didn't offer one up and so immediately I'm like this is what life's all about it feels so good to just be like not to not be selfish and

not to think like you know what I mean I'll find another one my baby cousin she's gonna I'll find her her you know first ornament somewhere else or whatever I'll give her the pink one that I selfishly still want um go to my Instagram story I posted a picture of it today anyways then this like hot fucking produce man I was like yep of course you know then Jacqueline's like stalking him while he's putting the avocados away and I'm like maybe I'll see him again I didn't entertain that or talk or say hi or anything but I just thought he was hot and he said like that was awesome and I was like so I don't know like and then it and then it turned in there was like a snowball effect then I literally and now I feel like shit now it's like okay I'm doing this at

night again and I felt like shit I'm driving home there's a man taking a nap in a sleeping bag under the bridge on the way home I'm like all it would take me to do like I could just go get this guy like something maybe for his hygiene or his like some food it would take two seconds he's asleep I could just drop something off off next to him in two seconds and help him out like it's so easy to help people that I don't know it sucks though because I'm catching myself if I have the thought am I gonna act on it am I gonna follow through and do it or am I gonna keep it to myself and I'm not and not like I would have literally not slept tonight I couldn't stop thinking about it after I dipped out on her and left the aisle, I was like, I am an asshole. So again, I don't like,

I followed. So here's an example of what I don't like. Uh, and look, I did the grocery delivery thing for old people in the beginning of the pandemic. And I know it looked like I was tooting my own horn because I took a picture. It was my thing. I took a photo of every time I dropped off people's groceries at their doorstep. I took a photo of their door. It was like this thing I did because I lost my job I'm like I need purpose I want to feel like I'm helping out society right now in the middle of this pandemic these old people don't want to leave their homes they don't want to go grocery shopping so it was like it's kind of like seeing the numbers grow on the podcast every day it's like seeing pictures of my bags of groceries made me feel good about myself

because I was like soul sucked or like just stripped like I have nothing going on for me it's 2020 jobless nothing to do can't go anywhere everything was locked down like hardcore at that point in March and April so I know and I even wrote about it I'm like I know it looks bad when people like post them like helping others it's like it rubs I get rubbed the wrong way it was like a scenario I watched there's a really famous um fashion person blogger she's like the OG on Instagram she was like going around New York City handing out I think it was like money like just like here's a hundred dollars she was like having her assistant film her do that and it felt really disgusting like I didn't like it she was trying to show like it was a positive thing but I don't

know my I have opinions like part of me is thinks that it's healthy to watch how other people help people because it's like oh this is a good thing to do but it's a there's a fine line because it's like personal gain it's like well I look good I people will like me because I'm fucking mother Teresa over here like I don't know but that was my day I was and then at the at the checkout aisle uh I balled out I you can buy so much a grocery outlet and save like I I was making a joke then I was like making him announce it really loud. The checker, he's cool. I was like, how much did I save today? Like, whoa. He like announced it. He's like, you saved $289. And hold on, I need water. I need my water boy. Water boy. In fact, I'm about to hire staff.

Someone slid in my DMs. Well, I'll just say his name. It's Ozzy. You know who you are, but he slid in. He's like, I'll be your water boy. So anyways, yeah, I announced how much I saved saved, but I noticed when he asked me what I was up to that day, I was so brain dead. I feel like I've been a zombie all week, not knowing, like I've been stuck on the TV, just glued to the media, watching the selection unfold. And he asked me, he's like, how's your day? What have you done? And I literally had like woken up, gone, like watch the news, went to the furniture store, went shopping. And like, I forgot what I did. I literally stood there blank face, like, I just been doing errands like I just couldn't really think I literally could not remember what

I did I'm like I've been at this grocery store for so I was there probably for an hour and a half and uh then I came home and uh honestly I've been really enjoying watching podcasts I'll admit it look I think this is I will always remember 2020 as the year where I like crawled myself out of a whole and I discovered who I was and um I just think there's something so therapeutic and positive about listening listening to interesting conversations and feeling like I'm I'm also contributing to the conversations for you guys but I fucking love podcasting and podcast hosts and people that are in the industry, like the, the biz, you know, it's so awesome, and I think it's great for people that struggle with their loneliness, mental health, whatever you want to

call it, because you do really feel like you're part of the conversation sometimes, and so I was watching, I think I watched like two hours of podcasts, I did some work, and yeah, I got on my yoga mat again, and yes, the addiction is continuing, I got a lot of recommend, recommendations in the dms a lot of guys giving me information about or uh mansplaining or whatever you call it about how to get my hips to not be so tight and like help me like literally like step-by-step instructions like by the way I had the same problem I went to a chiropractor and they're like put your knee up and put your other leg out and I'm like Jesus Christ um so I did that then I wrote I have this new um I got it at the grocery outlet I got this new really cute like notebook thing for my lists

so I kind of sat down and it felt like a Sunday night I got all my weekly scheduling done and checked your guys's questions for my Q&A and here I am podcasting so uh I feel really good I feel like my things are so the creative is the podcast the physical is yoga and the money maker is my job you guys know I I think I've mentioned I work in PR I don't know if I've ever said that before but yeah so I feel like my ducks are in a row and then I've got my family like we're super tight we've been texting all week going home soon um it is getting it oh my god guys it rained it felt like so blustery have you guys seen the Winnie the Pooh episode it's like the blustery what is is that like a whole movie it's like the blustery day oh that's like that's my favorite one and I

think piglet or someone like gets sucked away in the storm but it was so blustery and here in California what happens when it gets windy is I feel like for the first time in a in a long time the palm trees shed and like all the like the palm tree um shells get all over the go all over the roads and so it was kind of crazy I loved it and everyone was out just like oh go on runs in the in the rain and I don't know it felt like a really great fall day and it was fun to be out in the in the out on the town because I told you guys I've been locked up all week just like hibernating to fucking fox and see anyways let's get into the Q&A um god I love podcasting someone asked me a question I'm not

gonna like it's kind of like a weird they asked me about there's a couple like would you ever give up social media and then there's like one that was like where do you see social media in the future something along those lines I'm not sure exactly and I thought about it and I'm like I want everyone to, like, it's been, the trend has been show up on the internet as a heightened, cooler, better version of who you really are. That's the trend. And I would love in the future for people to pretend they're at their best friend's slumber party and that's what they're doing. Like, that's how they post. That's how they act. They're not performing. They're not trying to look better or cooler but I don't think because of people's competitive nature and you

know it's a doggy dog world out there there you know it's there's levels to this shit in life like you know looking good having money showing off showing off your lifestyle like people value that and think that's um they look at other people and think highly of that and I don't know I get you guys know me I'm like I am burnt out of it and I just want to like I feel so comfortable and relaxed here I am doing my podcast on my couch loving life being totally like exactly like if you came in here's my door over here in my you know I'm looking at my got all my candles lit I'm in my room I got my yoga mat got my ottoman I got my laptop set up it's like you just knocked on the door it's like hey come on in let's talk like that is literally what I'm

discovering about how I'm I don't want to say branding myself now but how I'm showing up online and it feels so good so I don't know if it feels so good to always have to put on a good face and you know get the best angles and the best photos that look great of your you know picnic on the beach or whatever like does that feel great to always have to keep up and do that I don't know and I wonder if people will discover that for themselves that are exhausted of it or will it always be around because there is an artistic passion behind what they do they're artistic about how they look and you know themselves and their gift is the fact that they're aesthetically pleasing to look at and so they're featuring themselves in you know beautiful

scenes on a beach, and, you know, whatever, in the, in fucking Rome, or, excuse me, there's no beaches in Rome, like, the south of France, or fucking Italy, and, uh, you know, you know what I'm saying, but, or there's, like, the passion with photography, and pictures, and I don't know, it's a weird game of like, I think keeping up with, I don't know. It's dude, fuck eyeballs. I'm not getting, I'm not getting like angsty yet, but like fuck our eyeballs. They screw up everything. If we couldn't see shit, if we could just listen to people, it'd be a whole different game. I'm embracing that. I'm embracing audio. I'm embracing audio. I think that's like some gary v type of phrase i'm doubling down on audio look i said this early on i was like i am

sort of tooting my own horn or proud of the fact that i realized that now that we've all been exposed to you know the social was the social dilemma the social network no social dilemma and all the negative, uh, talk around phone addiction and how bad it is. Hey, as long as people can live their lives and tune into a podcast and listen, I got legs in this industry. All right. All right. All right. That's just a thought. Okay. So if you're curious about, you know, why Jacqueline, that was actually a question. Why, why did I decide to do a podcast? 70s week was actually a question, but that's, that's not why I'm saying this, I'm just saying that you can be living, you could be on a, you could be on a hike

listening to a podcast, but you can't be on a hike neck down on your phone the whole time watching someone like, I'm glad I didn't build my creative passion, hobby, whatever around people's eyeball attention. Yes, I have a YouTube channel you can always watch, but ears are where it's fucking at make ears dude I could see here's me getting creative with you guys right now I gotta do something so I've already established I want to do thumb brace merch so everyone has like a an official thumb brace because look in 10 years we're fucked our thumbs are gonna need I think who was it did Kanye say on the Rogan episode he had to get injections in his thumb people are doing that for their carpal tunnel but whether it's that or uh I just think

a cute little thumb brace you know how the masks are normalized right now it's like what if everyone had a little thumb thing and then I thought what what could I do with the ears like everyone is lit you know podcast it's audio what do you could like brand something with ears I don't know get like a prosthetic prosthetic dude I should just wear a necklace with an ear on it I should just find ear objects for fun because I told you I'm trying to create this universe this world of podcasting where I have my little studio set up and I have my podcast every day and I'm like nerding the fuck out to it and really thinking about like the most detailed shit that revolves around uh the podcast world and anyways let's do the actual Q&A so let's just get into it because

every Saturday I never cut to the chase but whatever I'm having fun as long as I'm having fun it doesn't matter okay uh so I already answered the social media question where I see it in the future okay so yeah let me answer that why did you like wait why did you decide to podcast every day so great question do you guys want me to say your names when you ask questions or just I think I will keep them anonymous I could say first names but whatever I'll do anonymous today uh I decided to do it seven days a week because I'm addicted I'm an addict I can't it's like I can't live another I can't go to sleep if I I haven't podcasted. It's literally that. No bullshit. Slightly bull. Sorry, I'm burping.

Ew. Sorry, drink water. Well, it's slightly bullshit, but like, look, I feel like my crossed barren life, I have an issue with following through with goals I have for myself and being consistent and accomplishing them and I like the idea of the final result and I think that's what lights me up about doing a new endeavor but the process like the actual action of waking up and doing it every single day I'm really good at that for like max two weeks and then the rails fall off and then I get interested in something else I I'm very I'm a very my mind is very curious I'm a thinker I it never shuts shuts off obviously like my I constantly think about I I'm just like

I need I feel like the brain my brain has been like the settings or whatever are stuck on the word why I'm like a little toddler who's like asking questions about the world around them for the first time they're like why is the sky blue why does the train look like this you know why does the car have four wheels literally that's me all the time so that's why a podcast is fun I never get bored of coming up with shit and inventing things and talking all you know every single day but as far as the setting goals part I think this makes me I'm I have to do it and literally I said I'm going to do a seven days a week that thought actually was I didn't say I thought came in my head that I'm going to do it and just like the thought that I didn't give that

lady the little unicorn ornament and I couldn't unthink that I was not going to sleep tonight if I didn't give it to her same type of shit if I I knew I have what it takes to do this seven days a week like I have the desire the passion the ability everything I want to do it the only thing holding me back was my own bullshit that it's gonna be like you know no one's gonna listen it's gonna be um which I don't give a fuck about honestly because I just like doing this uh no one's gonna listen or you know it's gonna be complicated if you travel or you know I just thought of like the excuses and then that's what the 2020 thing popped up that's like this is the perfect moment in your life to confront your bullshit that I I always say those uh justifications

whenever I set goals like I always come up with those reasons to not do something and follow through and not this time I'm like nah Jacqueline not this time and I think you guys are gonna see me do the same thing with yoga I think you guys are gonna see me do the same thing with yoga I think it's going to happen because I have this dream that I'm going to be some in fact I think when I first got into it like 2015 I got really into yoga I I always wanted to do a handstand press it's like I love the idea of just like lifting your body up and doing a handstand press and if I stuck with it if I was consistent with that goal for you know the last five years of course I'd be able to do it but with everything I do I start and I never follow through so

to answer your question, this is like a personal, this is like a marathon I'm putting myself through. You know, I'm, I'm the fucking David Goggins of the podcast world, you know, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Like I think it would be more, I'd be David Goggins if I did it eight hours a day. I'm saying this jokingly, obviously, but I've never done anything like this I've never done anything where I'm obsessed like absolutely I am the biggest nerd about podcasting and like before okay I guys let me tell you some backstories like in college I remember maybe I've said this before but I remember just like going on a walk like around campus I would do late night I feel like it was because I was like oh you know I ate too much I need to go like

work this off I go on like really late night walks uh this is like obviously college always trying to be skinny always doing cardio and everything but late at night I would go on long long walks and listen to podcasts stroll around campus I would like walk in circles because like campus is only so big and so I would just like mill around listening to all these shows like I got really into it and I've never stopped and obviously this year I've been super tuned into the YouTube side of things where I'm watching because it's a great it's a great it's a it's a hangout sesh so anyways I'm I'm now I'm uh now I'm my own host my my own I'm America's sweetheart now fuck it I'm trying to become a household name all right I'm trying to become

a household name why not make that a goal why not tell the world I don't give a fuck and listen I used to think it's boss and badass and cool to be like secretive and not tell any people not tell anyone don't tell anyone like what you're really up to you know what I mean like don't tell anyone that you're trying to like be a household name Jacqueline like I'm saying that lately because like or with you guys know me I'm not like I'm gonna be the fucking next Howard Stern but a female like I'm not full of myself like I'm just enjoying this process I love doing it right now who knows what's gonna happen but um I think it's been fun to and to discuss my ideas about the future of this podcast and where I want like the the like the the future

it just it's fun um I don't care everyone out there that's listening that's also a podcaster like take notes like you can like steal my shit you can do it seven days a week I don't care there's I'm a big like I think there's room for everyone to be successful in in podcasting obviously it's all subjective like there's so many personalities so many topics so many so many niches um I'm a cheerleader man I'm a cheerleader uh I'm competitive with myself about this I'm competitive with myself and I think that's what's coming out um if you guys notice I do this seven days a week and I'm like every day I'm like all right Jacqueline bring it bring it show up do a good job don't say like too many times or um or what is the phrase I caught myself

saying I like listened to one of the shows a few weeks ago you know what I mean you know what I mean whenever I say you know what I mean too much it's because I'm tired I don't really I'm not like feeling that great and I keep saying you know what I mean and it's filler and uh anyways next question who did you vote for you guys you guys uh fuck it I voted for Trump you guys probably knew that just like watching and listening to my content over this last year that's what I voted for um I have my reasons I'm a pro like I said I think yesterday I'm Paul I voted based on policy not on uh personality in the person i think you know that's a hard thing to for people to understand but hey i lean more conservative than democrat but hey it's just i'm one little

millennial 20 something year old california's casted a vote sue me you know it's like we can still be friends we can still have an interesting conversation over why we disagree and look it's like what is it religion and politics just like don't touch it with people but i'm open to it i think it's healthy i think um we need to talk about it more sometimes i'm like i think we need to talk about politics more because it seems like whenever election year comes around no one knows what the fuck's going on no one really understands policies or really is no one is i i just feel like i personally i'm speaking i'm projecting because I don't feel like this year I brushed up especially with my local politics and learning

about the different things going on in my uh state like I didn't really deep dive like I could have but anyways so yeah voted for Trump thanks for asking uh next question are you ever going back to brunette are you ever going back to brunette uh not anytime soon guys I'm a blondie I'm blonde I'm blonde now I'm blonde okay I don't even know her like I feel like the it's weird how I didn't set out to change my hair color because I'm like going through it or I'm trying to like reinvent myself or whatever but I'm starting to realize a year later almost because I did it in January this year I'm like wait I'm literally like so much more of myself as a blonde than I've ever been as a brunette and I feel like that symbolizes something and I'm kind of holding on to it

I know you can always dye hair and you can always you know change it back but right now I'm like this blonde me is like the best version of myself ever it's it represents something like it has it's like getting a tattoo blonde Jacqueline is her is Jacqueline at her best and I feel like I'm uh this is a nice compliment someone's like hey I used to go to middle school with you or something like back in my Catholic school and they're like I always saw you around the hallway and I just thought you were such a because when I dyed my hair I posted a picture she's like you've always been such a light I never thought of hair being a symbol of being a light but I mean I would agree with that I see that in myself and I'm like a fucking golden retriever

okay like I literally I have gold hair I'm a golden retriever should that be the title of this episode I don't know so no I don't think anytime soon probably I don't know I don't know what it would take for me to dye my hair back, back to dark brown. Um, I just love being a blondie. I like how I like, I like how it looks on me. I like, I just, I don't know. Hey, I'm having fun. I'm having fun. Uh, next question. Are you looking for a relationship? Let me drink some water and collect my thoughts on this. Just a moment. Where's my water boy? dude i should get a camelback i should get a camelback and drink out of a hose or just a fucking garden hose hooked up in my studio every time i drink water

or like a water fountain like a ymca water fountain park next to my uh podcast desk just a moment ew there's such you guys can probably take yourselves back right now to being in PE class or like yeah in like high school or whenever just like going up to the water fountain every water fountain had a different like energy like the white so in my high school there were we I feel like all of them were shitty well no and we had a new building like a brand new like modern building that had the metal ones where you like push the thing has like the two hand prints on it and the water is really smooth when it comes out and it's like there's a short one and then a tall person one and no one uses a short one except me because I'm like that's more

sanitary any anyways and then there's the white older ones with the the water would come out like in a thicker stream it was like a heavier flow how do I describe this it was more aggressive it didn't come out in like a smooth flow and sometimes it was lumpy like it would come out and it would like like the distribution of the water would like kind of go everywhere but I kind of like that because there was more coming out and it's like a better mouth feel okay what am I saying this is interesting I'm talking about water fountains if you just tuned in um what other water fountains were there how did I get on water fountains I love podcasting I have so much fun I'm like thinking look at we're reminiscing about being in school in PE going

to the water fountain um were there other water fountains there's so many I don't know like the nice metal ones in the water like it was always really cold I just love like drinking from a water fountain there's something about it how crazy is it that there used to be like separate water fountains for black people white people like that's crazy uh what was the question like I'm off topic are you ever going back to brunette oh are you looking for a relationship oh I had to drink water and I said water boy okay now I need water again because I was saying I should have a water fountain in my studio um no I'm not looking for a relationship like it's not I don't feel I feel like I'm on the come up with myself you know I'm working on myself I'm

you know of course yeah I'm having fun I'm gonna date I'm gonna do all those things but I'm not like in a place where I can and who knows I'm always that person that's like if it happens like I'm not gonna try to control it and say oh no I'm not ready like you know who knows I could meet someone tomorrow um but I really feel like this is my time to pop off glow up you guys I told you I'm gonna be like just wait okay I gotta I got this like vision that I'm gonna be the most like I'm a podcast baddie I gotta look like it you know I gotta get my wardrobe together I've got to get my tan better I've got to get my fucking like I need nicer um like ass cheeks no I'm kidding like I gotta get my yoga on I gotta like get right and tight man

I'm kidding but like sometimes I feel like if I don't feel like my best self going into a relationship it's not worth it like I can date people sure like I can just have fun and do that thing but I don't know I don't want to I don't want to ever go back into a relationship again where I feel like I still need to work on myself like a lot and I think that's where I'm at again like I'm you guys can hear it on the show every day like this is my therapy I'm like what don't I like about myself what do I want to work on but I do want to enter a relationship where we're both on a we're both individually working on like being the best we can like growing and being the best versions of ourselves independently of each other like I don't want to go into a relationship

where the other person is gonna help complete something about me that I need to go work and complete myself so as long as it's independent I love that shit um so who knows again like I'm not like looking but if it happens I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be like oh no I'm not I'm not ready for a relationship look I'm in my 20s I figured like my parents at this point had already I mean they had three kids by 30 my mom was like 32 and she had my brother I think yeah I think like my mom had already gotten married at this age it's crazy um yeah and this whole week, like, I told you guys, I've already been, I've been stewing on, um, people I've met in the past, and how they say, oh, you've already met the person you're gonna marry by the time

you're 25, or whatever the thing is, and I don't think it's, I, it might be true for me, I was going through everyone, literally everyone, I'm like, who would I hit up again, like, who would I be want, like, who would I want to circle back around with? I'd say right now, there's, like, one person for sure. There's one person actually, but who knows? So not looking for a relationship, but that's a good question. Oh, cliche question. Um, pineapple on pizza, pineapple on pizza. Should I just sound ditzy when I answer this? No. Um, I'm a fan. I haven't had it in a long time but growing up we would always do a half and half for Papa Murphy's if you know what Papa Murphy's is I don't know is that a Washington thing we would get half pepperoni

half pineapple on Friday nights we go to the video depot so this is our routine as a family we go swimming on sun was it Friday or Sunday it's like a Sunday thing our whole weekend we do this all the time on the weekends like every day we go swimming at our health club my parent my dad would play racquetball my mom like we'd all sit in the hot tub we go swimming and you know play in the deep end and try to like hold our breath for as long as we could and like dive down and catch it and then after that we would with all of our wet hair I remember just going into the video depot across the street we'd all pick out a VHS like our movies and I always picked out my sister and I were obsessed with Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. What was the one with the,

it was like the ranch, like the horse ranch one. Let me Google this. Mary-Kate and Ashley ranch, horse ranch movie. Just want to reminisce for two seconds. Sorry. So we'd like all go in there and pick out movies how the west was wait how the west was fun oh it's such a good I need to watch that again I'm gonna send my sister a picture of that right now because that is so like that we I probably saw that movie 60 times as a kid so yeah we go to the video depot after we went swimming and then we would go to pop and pop and murphy's and to answer your question we go to Papa Murphy's we'd split a my parents would always get like some like adult type of topping pizza and then we would get the pepperoni and the pineapple and yeah

and oddly as a kid I don't know is this weird does anyone else like this and I don't know if haven't again I haven't had it in a while but I would like prefer if the like my mom like if she didn't cook it all the way I'd be okay with it like our oven was old as shit we lived in like our house was built in the 50s and it's still like the oldest like the one of I think it was the oven was probably from the 70s it was cool it's like this big oven it was yellow it was really like retro but I feel like it never cooked our pizzas right it would like make that crust all right but like the middle was always under like so doughy but I remember eating pizza and especially pineapple like the one we got the half and half I would love having it kind of undercooked

I don't know I was a weird kid I did some I don't know your taste buds changed like now I'd be like dude what the fuck like I need it as crispy as possible as thin as possible uh good question so yeah I don't care pineapple pizza's cool to me haven't had it in forever but I'm not like against it um vans or converse you guys asked me some basic bitch questions I like this actually some of you asked multiple questions um i mean i have both when i moved to california and it's uh also kind of like trendy i got a bunch of vans but i wear converse like most of the days i wear like normal shoes i guess like i'm a converse person um i need like new white converse though like that's the thing i like getting them dirty

I like having white converse I have black ones like I usually wear if I'm wearing like shorts and a t-shirt like going around town I live in San Diego it's always nice I always have like black converse and yeah so I'm more of a converse chick because my vans I feel like look kind of I don't know I'm not like a skater like that I'm not like a I'm not like a California chick skater chick with like cute bands but they're cute I'm gonna say converse and I've had those like for the longest time um oh this is a good question I like this what would you put wait what would you put in a chopped basket dude you guys I talked about the food network a couple days ago. I was talking about Guy Fieri and Diners, Drivers, and Dives. I was talking about

like the baking shows they do. It's like so dramatic and corny how they talk about like, so I pulled the pie out of the oven and I noticed the crust was burnt. So I got really panicky and I went back and I got some lemon curd and I reef, like they just like get really corny about their narration. And I just love it. I live for it. I do. I don't mind it. Um, I love trash TV. uh but anyways uh chopped chops a great show if you're not familiar they basically open a basket all the contestants open a basket of random ingredients they have to make something with it so shit this is like i gotta get creative right now um drinking water how do you guys like this episode how are you doing uh i think this is a good one i don't know yesterday's

tinder episode was weird I was like reading tinder bios I think it I think it flopped but I think everything I don't like after I record I don't listen like here and there I've listened to a couple but I black out sometimes like I don't know what I just said or talked about but I hope you guys like it or like you're not like traumatized um what would I put in chop a chopped basket what's like some jackass thing I would do because I'm smart ass I'm gonna I'm gonna do like stuff that doesn't make any sense like let's do a protein so let's make an entree like a dinner thing so your ingredients when you open your basket are what's a meat that it would make it what would be a challenging meat to make

just like a fucking cornish hen or quail and then yeah like a tiny I think like a cornish hen like a time you have you guys seen those or like you go to the grocery store where they sell like whole chickens and turkeys and shit and there's like a baby one that's super tiny yeah so you're gonna get a cornish hen what would not go with that that's like another let's do a vegetable this is actually gonna probably be easy and good like I do like a cornish hen like black licorice makes no sense uh fucking kimchi no this is a hard question like I'm thinking of random ingredients I should

have just looked up look up chopped ingredients chopped basket ingredients I'm just like gonna cheat here chopped basket ideas I actually had this idea for my I have a picnic basket it's really cute it's really French it's like this wood cutest picnic basket ever I had this idea that on Instagram I was gonna do a poll oh my gosh guys tell me send me a DM if you think this is a good idea I would do a poll where you guys would pick out like ingredients like a chopped basket uh thing where I'd ask you'd vote on ingredients and then I'd go buy them and then I would put them in the basket and then I do like an IG TV or whatever of me trying to make something with it or I do a YouTube video but you guys get to vote on the ingredients I thought that would

be fun I could still do it of course oh here we go here's some pictures of ideas oh god this okay butter beans top ramen strawberry bites and mandarin oranges yeah okay what did I say I said Cornish hen black licorice what's the third thing I already forgot cinnamon toast crunch well and carrots you know what let's just be nice we got Cornish hen black licorice cinnamon toast toast crunch and carrots like orange normal carrots that's what I put in a chop basket that's fun so what would you make with that you do like carrots and the chicken

the cornish hen I don't know what you do with the black licorice like maybe I don't know make a sauce like the the combination like cinnamon toast crunch is like cinnamony with black licorice carrot and a chicken I don't know figure it out send me send me a picture of your recipe you guys should all uh you should make it but like look how fun would that be if you guys voted and then I would go make something that'd be and I could get like I could do like drunk chopped basket cooking nights I'm bored as shit it's 2020 I got nothing going on on podcast so what else should I do next question um what sports did you play I think I've answered this before so let's see I started off doing I played soccer like one season when I was like six and I remember I

kicked a girl or I kicked the ball in a girl's face one time and I felt so bad I ended up playing basketball with her like years later she's on my team which is like really weird like didn't know her she's on the other team and then we ended up being like basketball besties but yeah I played soccer I played let's see basketball I started playing basketball in fifth grade volleyball in seventh and eighth grade swim team I started doing swim team in like fourth grade I was mostly a swimmer and a basketball player. And then I did swim team, um, went to state my freshman year on a relay team. Not that exciting, but I was a sprinter. Okay. My, my shit was the fucking 50 free, the 50 freestyle. I think my time was like under 26. I don't know. I need to like go. I don't

know where I'd have the stats on my, my times, but I did. Yeah. I was a little point guard. So I play basketball swim team and track what else I don't know like I do all the sports like I did horse riding but that's not really like competitive that was more like leisure I did um you know fucking I'd hit up the bowling alley like I don't know I feel like I'm forgetting stuff my my things when I was a kid were like I was in so many and I reminisced a lot about it I don't know what episode like back probably the first 20 episodes I probably mentioned my acting days but I had these worlds I went to school that was like its own world I went to a little private catholic school wore a uniform it was small very like

you know sheltered environment but like cool like when I think about that it was its own like like echo chamber of like i just like i don't know if you guys remember elementary school or just being around the hallways being in the classroom buying school supplies being on the playground in the random like going behind the school where you're not supposed to hang out like doing shit in the dirt like playing soccer around and you know the fields like the really if you remember and this is what trips me out is whenever I nap I remember specific details about my schools and the buildings and the layouts and like the stuff I would do and it's so fun because like as you think about it you can unlock like if

you think about a room if you think about your second second grade classroom right now and then you think about what your desk look like and then you think about okay when you walk out what does the hallway look like there's like a creepy like like a screeching noise outside right now like someone the bicycle bicycle brakes are fucked up that's kind of creepy um anyways then you think like okay what's in the hallway and then where's the bathroom like how far away is the principal's office you know what I mean and it's really fun I love doing that but um so that was like so what I'm saying here is my school my schoolyard my campus when I was in elementary school was its own little world and after school it was like I'd go to play practice it'd be dark and I lived in

the Pacific Northwest be rainy I'd go home eat something whatever like maybe do some homework or just like change get into my play play practice clothes because I had to take you know I wore my uniform then I change you know I'd wear like all black or I don't know what we had we had to wear just like casual clothes then I go to play practice and maybe I had you know lines to memorize or I had you know songs to sing I would do different like activities in my acting practice classes or whatever my play practice and it felt like I had all these new people around me because I had my school friends and I had my acting friends and it was so cool like I just love thinking about it and I felt so like young and all the big kids all the older kids I always

had a I always had crushes on the the crew guys you know the backstage guys were always like the hot high school guys that were like doing the lighting and they're moving props and you know it was fun um yeah and then when I got a little older around fifth grade I was after school you know I'd play basketball it was like my basketball practice time or my volleyball practice time and um just like going into the locker room changing getting your knee pads on for volleyball doing your little warm-ups you know eat your chewy bar your chewy bar and your capri sun dude there is nothing worse than experiencing the betrayal and the drift of a caprice caprice sun straw when you're trying to puncture it when that thing drifts and it doesn't go through the hole

like it's the worst it it feels so frustrating so i don't know when the last time you've had a Reese's son was but think about that I was like a what did my mom buy us apple tree juice boxes she wasn't we didn't get the 10% juice juice we had to get the 100% juice juice because my mom loved us I wasn't I wasn't neglected as a child no we had no sunny d if we had orange juice always have pulp in it anyways but yeah and then so I just explained the sports they played but I was thinking about how like the environment I played in and like like did school in and then activities in were like these separate like worlds from each other but they are I was doing them all at the same time but like when I would leave school go home eat a snack and then go into

play practice it was like this portal that opened I don't know how to explain it and it's weird to think back to childhood because I'm like that is over I never get that back again and I think that's what I'm learning about adulthood is I think a lot of adulthood is trying to replicate your like doing things to replicate what you experienced as a child and maybe like I don't I've never considered acting again or I've never considered doing anything with entertainment other than like I have a podcast you know what I mean but you know what I mean you know what I mean I just said it again uh but when I have been at live shows of any kind like concerts comedy shows like I've gone to um I've talked about London you know going to plays there and ballets and shit

like being around it lights me up because I think it unlocks that part of childhood where I was involved in it and so who knows maybe I'll get back into it right now I'm my life is so simple it's so minimal and there's not a lot of chaos and action and activity other than like hey I'm a I'm productive I work out I do my podcast I have a job I live you know in San Diego but I just don't think, I think what I'm, my next chapter, my next chapter is going to be a lot of action and a lot of, um, people and fun, because I think I've been in my own way for the first half of my twenties, trying to find myself being insecure. And now I've unlocked the fact that I'm nipping all of that in the ass, everything that hasn't worked in the past for me,

all the negative thoughts about myself all the like just sabotage and all the bullshit like I don't ever want to have I feel like I'm leaning towards I days in the future where I could regret my past I could like regret not figuring it out and not correcting my poor behavior and it has to do with childhood it has to do with a lot of stuff that you know manifests over time but I just want to I just want to rock I just want to launch off I want to pop off I want to launch off the moon the rocket ship whatever um and I think I understand it now I realize the podcasting and being in people's ears or just like contributing to the conversations like it literally takes it there's just people in the world they're up for doing it it's simple

they're like I am okay with sharing who I am with the like a mass group of people and I'm comfortable about it and I think that's a difference between people that are you know entertainers actors comedians whatever you want to say versus or musicians versus people that are you know more in the traditional corporate side of things that are would be embarrassed to go in front of public and talk on a microphone or or um it just like terrifies them or they have no interest it's not even something they're passionate about I think that's the difference and I do think I'm finding now that I fall into the creative like entertainer category it's crazy because I just don't I don't know how to feel about it I'm figuring it out but it's simple that's what

I'm trying to say it's simple like it's it's a it's like a personality type or something it's like yeah so that's where I'm at with what was I even talking about dude I went on some tangents welcome to the show hey we got why I answered what would I put in a chopped basket oh I answer what sports would I did I play then I talked about school and stuff um next question uh do you collect anything what if I had something like weird collection of tabasco sauce or something like I don't know Uh, do I collect anything? I think I like the idea of collecting things more than I actually do. Like, I don't think I have a one thing I collect. I'm like looking around my apartment. I don't

think I have anything. I'm not a hoarder. I don't, I throw away a lot of stuff. I like having knickknacks. I like filling my space with things I like. I'm not, I'm not into minimalism. I think it's, it causes people to get anxiety when they have, when they look at stuff around them and I think over seriously literally this podcast is curing it for me doing uh the YouTube version where I'm like I want to give you guys as much shit to look at on my set as possible I want to distract you with like little stuffed animals and pens and cups and like signs and what else pumpkin I had a pumpkin you know for October um and it's made me more at ease with my environment that's like clutter purposeful like clutter on purpose for the sake of people's like eyeballs

and entertainment and just for the whole visual you know look and feel of the podcast it's been good for my like weird ocd anxiety about having clutter around me because of all these beautiful pictures i see on the internet of people's minimalistic millennial households and i just I'm over it I want to get I've said this I love the European way of doing things I like when I I follow a lot of Europeans who you know every all their shit is a little bit worn they've got a lot of tchotchkes and they have a lot of shit around them but it's it's nice it's not like it's shit it's like they're not so like OCD clean minimal because like it works for Kanye West and Kim Kardashian like with their chaotic household all their kids like that and I get it like for

Kanye's mental health I understand why having like no clutter is great for him and great for their family but I just like if it weirds me out when people I just just like because what happens if when you get so minimal with your space you start to get hyper aware of like oh I have one extra candle that shouldn't be there like that's starting to look like too many candles or oh I've now I have too many um you know like books on the shelf or plants or you know what I mean and it you know what I mean so I noticed that about myself so again that's something in my behavior I'm trying to fix and look I cluttered the shit out of my podcast studio and uh it makes me feel like a kid again I'm like I just decorated the fuck I have like a cupcake thing I've got a like

a butterfly picture that's an actual butterfly so the bet so if you guys look at my set I have a like a pressed blue butterfly like the butterfly emoji it's so weird guys like I need to I'm not gonna get emotional but uh I found this butterfly when I moved so guys like backstory I moved out I was living with someone for like a year I was working for a startup company and I got my own place in Del Mar Del Mar California I got my own place and like that was my first in San Diego that was my first time living alone before that I was like living with someone um but it's weird how when I moved in I found two things that are like weirdly I don't know they like symbolize something I'm like now they now they have meaning at the time I'm like oh these are fun these are

cute but now I'm like holy shit this is weird so I posted a picture you guys probably know what I'm talking about of this painting of a clown and I told you guys my dad always called me the joker when I was a little girl like he always called me the joker yeah like I always thought I was like yeah like a funny little kid I always crack jokes with him and he was like basically a comedian but not um taught me how to swear taught me like he just showed me all the funny movies and you know we grew up in a very just like fucking super fun household and um I definitely I'm this way because of my dad a lot like I think like he does and I kind of talk and joke like he does but anyways this picture is a painting of a clown with a old like phone it looks like a microphone at a desk

he's like feet up on the desk vibes with a old uh phone like telephone thing where he's got he's holding it in his ear one piece and then he's like talking in the other piece like totally vintage like I don't know what era but early 1900s uh anyways uh so I found that and the bottom of it says I'm perfect you guys have to go to my Instagram I post this picture go find it but it's crazy how like now I'm on a microphone seven days a week I do the jokey thing like I'm clown I clown around okay I feel like goofy from the goofy movie and fucking like sometimes I get weird and I've let myself complete I've just surrendered to the fact that that's part of how I cope with things making jokes about everything and not taking anything seriously it's just like how I

deal with life and so it's crazy how I moved out of that situation to my own place by the beach I'm like okay oh my gosh Delmar's like this is great I can like hear the ocean when I sleep it's amazing uh I found that picture and then I found the butterfly picture which now it's like I feel like a little you know I'm a little butterfly spread her spread her wings do my own thing popping off um so yeah go to my you can like see on YouTube or go to Instagram to see the pictures I was just talking about um the question I think I got on a tangent was if I collected anything I really like the idea of collecting shit what did I say I want to collect did I say want to collect coffee something around coffee I realize I can't collect different types of coffee

like the beans are not gonna last you know I like I don't know something with coffee like coffee cups you guys when I do my p.o box next next year could send me coffee cups or something I could display them or um I mean I have a ton of journals I like stationery like like I write in journals all the time so I always buy journals like I just bought one today the little notebook I talked about at grocery outlet super cute um I'm a girl you know what I mean I have tons of jewelry tons of shoes purses clothes makeup nail polish hair products like I don't consider that collecting something though I don't have like I used to collect makeup when youtubers started showing off how to do makeup all the time back in I think it was like 2007 when I started getting into it

and I would go to Walgreens CVS like I go to the um because we don't have a Sephora where I was living or anything like that so or a department store so I would like go buy the makeup that people were showing me on YouTube and it I was collecting and like I would buy so I spent so much money I think at the time I was really into it I would go and I spent like probably thousands of dollars a year out of my retail like clothing retail paycheck to buy makeup and then I realized like over time now I'm in my 20s I never wear makeup ever like I haven't I've barely worn makeup this year I do for the podcast like I put on mascara and shit but uh just for your guys just for your I don't want to be an eyesore okay I don't want to be an eyesore I know I've looked

I've literally looking in the mirror I'm like I have never looked worse this year but also at the same time I've never looked better because I love my blonde hair but I'm like I I feel like 2020 has aged me like at least two years realistically like I think it's aged me two years but I know I'm hard on myself but um I'm just not as it's you know what it is you guys know this I'm not as snatched snatched as I used to be uh and I think I'm self-conscious of that still a little bit but you know I'm blonde so I look like that's the thing about being blonde I will admit this I get more attention in public when I'm like being blonde long hair like when I curl it you know what I mean if you see me from behind you're like damn who's this chick with the blonde hair

you know I get that because when I see other blondes I'm I'm like checking them out like there's something about seeing a blonde headed chick I don't know what it is I noticed like I think they are just this like symbolic hot girl especially in California here everyone's like beachy and tan and blonde like it's a whole thing but um yeah I definitely get more attention but why did I even talk about this where was I going oh collecting makeup oh I feel like I don't collect makeup anymore or care that much because I don't really wear it and I think it's a way it's kind of a waste of money to like just buy it and then it sits there and you wear it like a few times a month if that like back in regular routines of life I'd wear makeup

up every day, obviously to work and going out, but I don't know. I'm not in that phase right now. I want to collect something cool. What could I collect? Send me a DM. What should I collect? Let me know. Um, well, let's do one more question. I'll make this the last question. Um, it was, should I answer a deep question right now or a fun one? Ah, I don't know. Let's end on a deep note. Fuck it. I'm kind of feeling like this is a podcast anyways uh do you want to get married someday do you want to get married someday uh okay so yes easy answer yes quick answer yes uh unfortunately uh I witnessed my parents split it when I was 20 and initially it kind of like distorted and messed up my view of marriage and

it kind of just made me question everything about life and here I am in my 20s going you know when parents are going to be together forever when I go off to college and come back home they're going to be sitting there you know on Christmas together and we'll we'll all open presents together and I'll be, you know, there's five of us in our family and I'll be all five of us. And when they split, it was like, wait, now I go home and it's just my mom. And Oh, it's just my dad. And I don't have them together. And it was so weird. And, um, it made me, I, I had issues, you know, and I, I started, I was dating someone at the time and I just remember feeling like kind of, what's the point? Or I don't, I don't know who to trust or what, you know, I was young

And now I'm at the point where, yes, I want to get married. I think, uh, I value, I like the idea of having stability and like, or in life, I think it's like when you're young, like I'm in my twenties, it's fun to just not have, not be super tied down and you can be spontaneous and you can date a bunch of people and live in a bunch of cities and do all this fun stuff. But at some point in life, I think there's, it's really positive to have, to be grounded and to have like a house and some dogs and a family and, you know, like a routine of life that I think I've been brainwashed to think that that's fucking boring and that's not the way to do it. no guy will ever want that I got completely brainwashed by someone that made me believe that every man wants to be a bachelor till the day he dies he never wants to settle down with any woman he'll never settle down with any woman and uh anyways I think that just I was so um at the time I was so lost with who I was and I was open to so many different new ideas and um I was like oh yeah okay I haven't heard this perspective before so you know and then based off of his lifestyle and his behavior I was like oh yeah I see why guys and they're you know pushing 40

are still single no kids like they're just still acting like they're in their 20s and I understand how guys can go a long time and make it seem like they never want to settle down or never want actual like marriage or anything but I do want it I think um again I like the idea of being, like, independently, like, I, I like my independence, I like being on my own, but I crave the companionship and the bond with someone else, and then we can, like, share life together, like, this sounds so, like, bachelorette, bachelorette, like, it's so phony, but, like, I don't know, like, it's, I'm a hopeless romantic type, like, I just downplay it, I think I've been, um, it's kind of sad like I've always tried to shift shift or like downplay what I really want to guys

that I'm dating because I don't want them to get like overwhelmed and scared like I'm trying to lock them down forever you know what I mean and I would I would like be like the cool girl like you know we don't have to label this you know it's okay whatever and now I've gotten I've I think I've gotten over the hump where I'm like okay wait no what I really want is I want to be a housewife I want to be a trophy wife I want to go on just kidding no but just know that about me as far as like being a trophy wife I will never let myself go ever that will never happen I have every desire in my being to like only get hotter as the years go on like that is my life goal so anyone that gets anyone out there interested just know that uh it's never like I this is like my vow this is

my like personal um like I guess my personal policy or goal in life or fucking vow to myself I just, I just want to improve and get better. And I want to share that with someone else where we're on the same page. We want to, um, just like have an awesome life and do cool shit. And yeah, maybe kids are in the, in the picture who knows, but definitely dogs. Uh, I told you guys I want to get like, I just need land. I just need land. And then I'll buy my golden retriever, but cause I live in, I don't have like, if I had a yard, I'd have a dog yesterday, but yeah. So I totally want to get married. Uh, I'm 26. Is it, is it time ticking? I don't know. Society says you should get married when you're like, I, to be honest, this is what I've decided

to. I'm at the point where if I meet someone or who knows, I might've already met someone and it's, and it's like, Oh, this is it. You're my person. Like I'm in my, I'm not going to be like, Oh, not ready for this yet. No, no, no. I'm totally at the point where I'll a hundred percent go all in. Like, let's do this. So damn, you guys are making me think about life right now. way too much um he wrote on my notes here I'm like I'm hiring staff members I wrote in all caps staff members this is totally like a new topic but I thought about how funny it would be to have like a staff it'd be a part of the podcast like I don't know I told you guys I want a water boy but not like people that are doing the filming or people that are like the basic tasks with

podcasting because I can do that all myself I don't need help with my production but like having I don't know just characters on the show but I'm the host but they would like pop in and out like my water boy what else could I have I could have my like I could have my concession man like I could have some guy like at the baseball games you see with the like the peanuts and cotton candy all the shit around them like when I get hungry they could like get like give me a snack I don't fucking I just think it'd be hilarious staff members I just thought the word like the term or just the phrase like staff members I'm hiring no what do I always say strictly diversity hires no white people hiring staff in 2025 that's also when I'll be

emotionally available for a relationship uh kidding but I don't know I just think of Rogan's show he's like I have Jamie like who's gonna be my Jamie someday I don't right now I don't need any help right now it's like this is like breathing I'm just like waking up and throwing my headset on and it's it flows but maybe i'll need a what if i had a like a robot google shit from here like ask a robot i could ask sir oh wait that's so annoying though if i had to stop and be like hey alexa google i'd have to have her answer shit which it's not that the tech the technology isn't there yet but it'd be awesome though if I had a little robot on on set that was like really quick anyways uh happy Saturday I feel like today was a good episode I had fun I feel like you guys may

have learned a lot we told some stories about my past told my stories about school and shit but hope you guys are all um just like I guess relieved or happy with the result of the election and you feel like I think a lot of people out there are saying they think the next the final chapter of 2020 is going to be positive because of this result I do think if Trump is re-elected we would see the riots and the chaos and all that and it would be crazy but who knows like it's just starting today you know Biden will now go into the process of deciding on all of his cabinet members and you know who's going to be in the white house and you know it's like officially happening but also there's legal shit happening too at the same time

that i'm like well if the thing about this election and like figuring all the final details out over the next month or so it's gonna be exponentially worse like everyone did their celebration tonight the biden won imagine if trump if it gets overturned or whatever where he was actually the winner like the level of chaos it's gonna be like people are not gonna be emotionally sound like they're gonna be off their fucking rocker like i don't even want to think about it that's what's crazy to me is like i don't know if that's even possible based on like i don't even think there's enough being contested right now that would make him the winner but who knows like again who it's 2020 anything could happen shit all right i got

my neighbor my neighbor walking in her door did she slam it i swear to god every time she shuts the door. It's an earthquake. We have the same door. I'm like, wait, wait, wait. Yep. She just slammed it. I don't understand. We have the same door and it doesn't like, there's not, it doesn't make sense. I don't know if the building shifted and her side of the apartment is like the door sticks more, but it's so fucking annoying. Now I'm just on my DMs. I need to end the podcast. all right guys I love you stick around if you're a patron for your shout out and I will talk to you tomorrow for fucking football Sunday go Seahawks can't wait all right love you guys okay bye all right my patrons my beautiful gorgeous sexy super desirable patrons of patreon.com

slash tjms without further ado are ricky jensen ricky thank you for your support i fully thoroughly deeply infinitely appreciate you so thank you next we have trevor garrett trevor i fully deeply this is like i'm doing fucking wedding vows fully deeply infinitely appreciate you thank you for your support eagle one short and sweet thank you and finally ozzy osbourne thanks for being uh my fourth member of the patreon squad thanks for being my Jamie in the DMs you're always there for me I really appreciate you all right guys love you talk to you tomorrow all right bye