The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 66- Sundaycast: MORE THOTS

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey guys, happy Sunday. It's episode 66. Welcome back to the show. hey what's up welcome back to the show it's sunday night sexy time again. I'm a nighttime podcaster now. I guess that's what this is. Uh, if you're new, I do this seven days a week, go over and, uh, do a little stroll to your phone if it's not nearby and hit the subscribe button on the podcast app. And, uh, you can leave a review if you want all the good things. Uh, you guys, I don't know what's happening. I feel like I didn't want to talk about my goals this week on this episode. I want to talk about it tomorrow for Monday motivation but I feel like I need to get my shit together I am a train wreck I feel like this

entire week of the election was a wash I was glued to the tv for like five days straight barely went outside and I feel like a piece of shit and I totally feel like I'm letting you guys down I mean I don't doesn't make a difference if I upload every day and it's at night time or the morning but I feel like an asshole for making you guys wait until like 10 p.m so still learning things about myself as far as scheduling the podcast into my life. And I will say this. I was proud of the fact I did yoga for seven days straight. I just did it about an hour ago. That was great. Totally stoked about committing and sticking to that. And I think my brain is going to override like it did for the podcast and not allow me to go a day without yoga. So now I'm a

podcaster slash yogi and I guess that's my life now it's weird how that's my epiphany that's my biggest lesson of 2020 it's like when you have an idea and a goal and something you want to achieve in your head it's very simple you just do it like you just go and do it you don't make up excuses and you do it and I never put that together until I was 26 like literally it took me 26 years to connect those dots is this a motivational podcast now what's going on happy sunday hope you're doing good i hope you're and thank you seriously thank you i i wanted to take a moment early in the show today because i always thank my patrons at the end uh you can go over to patreon.com slash tgms if you want to join uh and get a shout out but i always thank them at the end but i never

i feel like i forget to thank you guys so thank you for just like being here on my this joy ride I guess I guess it's a joy ride for you guys you're in it's entertainment you know I'm not you know building a rocket ship it's literally just like here's what I did today and here are my thoughts about life but back to what I was saying I literally took me 26 years to nip my overthinking brain in the ass and go Jacqueline it's not that complicated if you want to do something if you have a goal if you have a dream there's it's simple like just to take a step towards it every single day and don't overthink it don't over worry about how hard it's going to be to get there like I didn't it's so annoying

that it took me this long to figure it out because I think what happened in the past is I would choose uh to do things that were attainable and kind of the easy grab and the easy route or like I would get a high off of like a quick like I did for example I'll bring the yoga up again I got obsessed in 2018 I got I did hot yoga literally seven days a week for six months like insane pretty much seven days a week and when I moved to San Diego I completely stopped and I and I didn't do yoga anymore when I say yoga I mean going to a class like doing it consistently long intense I was doing hot yoga flows like I I do yoga I still like before I got into it a week ago after two years uh I would do it like leisurely you know or I've been to a couple yoga classes

since I moved here but it's crazy how I got that high for the first six months and I was in this like week or no month-long competition like whoever could go to the most classes wins and I was obsessed for the whole month of February in 2018 and basically I did it for six months and then I had all these skills built up this great like my strength was insane my like strength to weight ratio I was able to do all kinds of crazy shit and it slowly went back it faded away and it's not because I lost interest it's because I moved to a new place I had a whole new lifestyle a whole new like whirlwind of events happen but I'm kind of realizing now that I would have probably had a my self-worth and self-esteem would have probably been so much better if I

continue to do yoga at the time I should have been doing yoga the most in the crazy hellish fucking situation I was in I should have been doing yoga the most and I wasn't doing it but I had done it six months straight up until that point and it's weird I think when I admire people I admire in life are you know high achieving people are the ones that they've got that thing everyone knows them for that thing and the reason people know them because of that thing is because they're consistent with they do it all the time they're that's their love that's their passion and you know I've identified the podcasting fucking listening to the sound of my own voice shit is what I'm going down in history for apparently now. Uh, woo, you know,

I need to take a drink of water. Uh, and let's take a moment of silence for that. I wasn't planning this. That's what's crazy. I wasn't planning to do podcasting. This all happened randomly, but here I am. So anyways, uh, back to the motivation Sunday shit. like if you have a goal it is so fucking simple to accomplish literally it is one day at a time one step at a time and then you'll get there and you can't waver you can't justify why like you can't on a day you don't want to this is so cliche i feel like i'm a fitness coach who does this like all these like fitness people are like just on the days you don't want to go to the gym those are the days you need to go the most I'm not talking about fitness I'm talking about career

stuff hobbies uh like physical like like I want to do a handstand press and yoga and that means I have to practice it every single day um or like you know 90% of the time I'm focusing on working on it but I don't know it's like I think of family members and people around me in life friends who would always talk about stuff they wanted to do and never did it and I'm like oh shit that's gonna be me if I don't get it together that's gonna be me if I don't get it together in my 20s so I'm like kind of proud of that I'm kind of proud of the fact that here's a couple things uh insecurities kind of like you know overcoming on the show right now uh or just I'm like putting a sticky note down and saying like okay so I got over or I figured out how to be vulnerable with

people on the internet for the first time in my life and just be super honest and real with them instead of trying to like suppress and hide the things I didn't want them to see now I'm open about it uh like what could I be vulnerable about right now um I've been wearing the same sweatshirt for the last four days the same hoodie I slept in it because it was cold because it was raining uh that's not that's like normal but I keep putting on the same sweatshirt every day uh what else um I don't know I'm not that there's nothing I could be embarrassed by right now I'm like I don't have like an empty LaCroix that's been sitting here I need to throw in the garbage recycle excuse me excuse me um so there's that like I'm I've overcome in my early you know in

in my 20s I'm totally down to be like this is me here I am take me or leave me boom so that's cool. Cause I, I would hate to be 69 and I don't know why that number just came up, but I'd hate to be 72 and still struggling with, uh, trying to seek approval from other people and being insecure about all that shit. I just, I think I'm, I think it happens for people when they're like five. I know it happened to my brother when he was probably in like second grade and he, he's always been my I've always admired him for how much he's so in the zone with who he is and doesn't care like he's not about to like try to do be something he's not or what I was doing before was this like watered down version of myself and and I don't know why I'm gonna get into the other

thing I'm proud of and I think we just decide we just discovered that which is I don't want to be a failure basically and I want to accomplish my goals in life and I don't want to be the person that's like telling everyone what they want to do but never does it so boom I established that uh part of myself that's not gonna that I'm not gonna let happen but back to what I was saying about like I'm highlighting on the podcast a lot my online life because I really think what's crazy I got in my head about this today I'm like here I'm on my laptop doing work I have my phone have my football on don't want to talk about the Seahawks today but whatever uh I'm like wait a minute my mom and I are sending pictures of our scene like we always send pictures of like the

room we're in or like what we're doing I'm like we should be together but like we're we're like texting and we're in each other's faces all on our phones all the time but like it's weird how life is and now I'm like in a different city and I don't know and so I talk about my online life and my previous persona or whatever I was you know when I was down playing shit because I think we can all admit that that is life now in a way in a weird way like for a lot of us um especially I think I don't know girls are more into the social media thing than guys I'd say but it kind of fucking sucked my soul and took me away from myself and stripped my intuition and I didn't know what I didn't know so while I was in it I couldn't tell but then now on the other

side I'm like oh shit so hey I'm I'm in my 20s I figured it out never again we're at a slumber party right now everyone's at my slumber party that's what this podcast is you're hanging out with me we've known each other for years I literally have a six gallon jug next to me of water that I should have poured in a cup to make it easier to drink when I need a drink but oops anyways that just went places uh if you have a goal just do it just do it like I want to paint it I want to think of an example of something that would be maybe scary like in the past that I would have been like scared to do and then I just never did it I mean there's so many things when I really think about it this oh I know like for example the fear I had about being a youtuber

when I was in seventh grade like I didn't I wanted to be a youtuber since seventh grade and I never did it because I was so I was too insecure of how I looked and how I talked and everything and it's like whoa if that wasn't part of if that wasn't something I struggled with at all or like didn't care about who knows where I'd be like what my life would be right now or how much happier I would have been throughout high school doing something I wanted to do um because I played basketball I was in you know like clubs and shit but if YouTube was my thing and I was maybe you know I don't know like one of those kids that packed their bags and moved out got a manager and went to LA or whatever like I kind of wanted to do that when I was a little like in middle

school and it never happened it doesn't matter because it's my journey it happened well like I'm doing I'm putting myself out there now in my 20s but that kind of sucks I just had to deal I think being insecure and dealing with all that shit in high school and a little bit in college like it got it always gets better every year gets better and like this year it exponentially got better but like my the years I should have not get given a fuck and had the most fun time in my life for the like years I was the most insecure and like in my head and overthinking everything that was not complicated so it's like all my exes are like you're overthinking you overthink everything or oh my god okay I gotta I gotta rant about something I can't stand this is what I

I talked about being in relationship relationships on the Q and a yesterday, but I said, uh, this is, well, maybe related to an earlier Q and a, I don't know. I'm up to like nine now. It's every Saturday. You can go back and listen, but, um, I can't stand, I'm just looking forward to someone who lets me be Jacqueline a hundred percent. Like I'm going to overthink this. I'm going to talk it out for 10 hours.

I'm going to spiral. I'm gonna I don't I'm not I don't get like mad if anything I need quiet time to think about shit and I need someone to let me do that where they're not like oh is she like what the fuck is she what's fucking wrong with her it's like no I that's I process things differently than maybe the guy likes or understands and a lot of times I get this like oh you're like you're you ebb and flow with like how you are trying to um think about things and I'm like that's how I think just let me fly let me do that dude I'm a bird okay this is talking is how I fly I love talking I love thinking is that a metaphor is it what is that is that like a damn that's kind of cool so I said

like episode five that podcasting is the closest I'll ever feel to flying uh it I equated to that It's very, uh, I feel free. I just love it. I'm in the driver's seat. It's my show. Everyone sit the fuck down and shut up. All right. I haven't sworn recently. That was weird. Um, so yeah, I just can't wait. I'm, I'm looking forward to the day where someone gets me and they're just like, yep, that's it. That's Jacqueline. And I don't know. Cause I, I'm just like triggered right now because I thought of a situation sort of recently where a guy was like he did like a whole hand motion about it about how I think and I was like fuck you like that's a that's like hey I don't like the way your cheek like clenches when you bite into a banana or whatever like that is like

the kind of detail he went into about my process of thinking and I was like shut the like just fuck off and they didn't end well and you know what I'm glad it didn't because anyways um let me go to my notes here it's a Sunday short episode I'm not gonna take too much of your time uh just so proud of myself you know as much of as much as the week was a wash and like I was zombied out to the news I got my yoga down and I feel strong I feel flexible I did my morning stretches today and I'm like wait I got so much range of motion in one week I've been doing all these um flexibility like I have a kettlebell that I like literally shove on my knee to make it like I don't know if I'm overdoing it but I don't give a fuck I'm like I love it so

I like do like like crisscross applesauce but you put your toes on your thighs and then I set a kettlebell it's like a 15 how many kgs is this it's like 12 pounds not that heavy or something like that and I set on my knee to like push my I'm trying to like get my alignment better because I have a hip that's kind of impinged so I don't know it's kind of like doing the podcast where every day I chip away and I get a little bit I learn something new I get a little bit I don't know if I'm getting better at this I'm just continually doing it that's worth something you know what I mean it's like well she's consistent so we'll clap her up for that you guys can check out at any point someone uh one of my patrons I was on the phone he's like yeah

it kind of takes a while to get into the episodes and you know again I I gotta I can always say well I'm new I'm so new but uh but with yoga uh I can every day you like it's kind of you just get a little bit more flexible or you can do a new pose and that you couldn't before and I like the challenge of that and yeah you know Rogan said it the best he's like martial arts is uh or excuse me yoga I fucking wrote this guys you know in that notebook I read out of from like I don't know like seven years ago I was like I literally take notes on the Joe Rogan podcast and I think I wrote this quote I know I did I my notebook is too far away right now but I wrote the quote yoga is martial arts against yourself and I wrote that because at the time I was like raw vegan trying

to like do the vegan shit freely freely the banana girl on YouTube I was all into the like literally the diet was this podcast is one long tangent I'm sorry sorry it's just like I want to get I want to tell you the story about my veganism but raw till four was the diet style where I would literally wake up and my breakfast was always like bananas but like four bananas in a blender and then I'd add like cinnamon on top and just have that as a smoothie oh with dates like medjool dates medjool medjool you know those little like prune looking things and that would hold me over i'd literally have that and have that all day because i want to be i'd be so fucking full from four bananas and then after four you eat like just plain potatoes or plain rice like no fat and

that's how you're able to be vegan and eat all these carbs but as long as your fat ratio the ratio is like 90 10 or 80 80 20 with 80 carbs 20 fat anyways so I was in deep with that shit and uh at the time that's when I discovered yoga and I was like oh I always go back to it because I love the way I feel when I'm done there's like I I breathe deeper I'm more calm throughout the day even in the car this is what I love I noticed this uh when I was at the store driving around looking at my couch yesterday. I, I, whenever I get back into yoga, I'm like nose breathing all the time. Very, very, my cortisol levels are so down. Um, it's a perfect thing to do if you're like stressed out, I guess it's so cliche, but like, dude, just do yoga, like incorporate it.

Even if it's once a week where you're doing a whole flow for 30 minutes to an hour. Cause I think you really need to you can't just fuck around and stretch I think doing the like I did a flow for the last couple days where I did like 40 fucking it wasn't 40 but like 40 fucking sun salutations where you're doing it repetitively so much that you're warming your body so warm when you do it and you like you get your breathing down really good and is this a yoga podcast now what did I talk about before? I was like, okay, coffee. What are my things? I am a coffee drinker. Still loving my espresso machine, by the way. Uh, I am a coffee drinker. I'm a yogi now. And now I, and I'm a podcast host. I guess that's it. Let me go to my note here. Cause I have some

things to say. Oh yeah. This is actually a topic. Cause you know, the election unofficial officially unofficial election happened who the fuck knows what's gonna happen this week like my goal this week is to be less glued to my tv but I feel like this week is going to be another crucial week to be glued to the tv because it's going to be dramatic and here's where I'm at here's where I'm at on the lighter side and my you know smart ass sarcastic like fucking whatever life is fun side of me is living for 2020 right now and the drama and just like learning a lot from observing people and how people react and uh how they think about politics it's very it's like a good uh a good thing if you're I don't know I'm a I love I'm

interested by people's psychology I guess I should have done this I should have been in I should have gone into psychology but uh so it's fun for me I'm just having I'm having fun every time I turn on the news and check in it's like fun um because life is it doesn't seem real right now it feels like a simulation everything every day I'm like yep starting to feel like a simulation so there's that like lighter side of things and the more deep side of things is me spending time lately thinking about root cause of the problems in the United States and what I've boiled it down to and I wanted to share this with you guys today is I was thinking about high school I was thinking about education in general and I think we need to really it's going to take time but to re-evaluate

what we're doing in high school what we're teaching high school students when we could be educating them so they are able to get a job right out of high school if if that's if that's their path like they're able to go work at uh amazon or boeing or whatever like we train high school kids like it's college and there's options obviously if you want to like college will still be a thing but if you if you want to you know diversify your skills and do something else but I don't know I think education is so messed up because you basically go to school for four years in high school to only be able to go and work a minimum wage job like you know I was working in clothing retail and I was working in um you know like restaurants like fast food joints that

type of thing that's what that's four years of your life you could be getting prepped to get a legit job and so I don't know how that changes I don't know how that unfolds where we could actually make that legal or like you know but I do think that it's a bunch of bullshit when everyone talks about it what what did I learn the circumference of a fucking tomato for like I'm a podcast host okay uh there's positives I think I'm pro going to school I love the social aspect of it my experience you know football games I just think of like that's the one thing that I would I'm holding on to from my past and I'm living like when I think about reliving my glory days it's like yeah football games and shit but I'm being you know spirited

having spirit week pajama day uh like yeah so there's positives in school but I think we should reevaluate the curriculum and setting kids up for like a career path earlier on because I think that will eliminate or help reduce poverty because that's when you think when you think about why people are not doing well it always boils down to the dollar sign across the board the dollar sign rules all, it's money, you know, it's, it's everything, and if we could somehow, because I think a root cause, it's like, well, what causes people to be, to go into poverty, what causes people to, you know, get out of high school, and I think that's the turning point, I think that's the turning point you either can go to college and advance your life and or you or you don't go

to college but you have you're set up with something some plan because you're smart and you're you've got people around you that are motivated I don't know like you're or you're the person that drops out like the you know Bill Gates's of the world and you know the other people though, the people that don't really have a good home life and don't really have, uh, they don't have the money to go pay for college or anything. Those are the people in society that we need to help. So I came on here today to say, how do we fix high school system? Because I think up until eighth grade, like after eighth grade, like I learned a lot of shit in high school, obviously, but I think we should take it more seriously, like career paths more seriously and

training high school aged people for like, I would see, like I've, I've, uh, cousins who are, oh, I think they're out of who's in high. I don't know. I have so many cousins that are, they're younger than me. All of my cousins are younger, but I'm like, what are they in high school? Are they out? I can't remember, but I could see all of them working in an office somewhere doing a basic job but they're getting paid like the right or excuse me they're not getting paid minimum wage and then I don't know how you guys I'm like trying to work this out right now I don't know what's happening I'm like well how do you pay now all of a sudden if you're paying high school students I'm saying when they get out of high school high school is not you're not getting

paid the big bucks in high school but when you get out you're set up to go off to like Boeing that's the only example I can think of right now Amazon or uh some sort of regular job other than McDonald's okay uh we can do better than that I think it was McDonald's should be the last resort the last like we need to see we need these people now I'm like well who's gonna make my chicken nuggets like who's gonna make my um what's it called my McFrosty what are those ice creams what are their fucking flurries something like that we need people to do that but I think that should be for i don't know if you don't come out of high school with a career path and a job lined up and then and you didn't get your shit together then absolutely go work at mcdonald's but

the goal for high school should be to set up okay you guys get where i'm going with this i'm bored of myself um yeah root cause i'm all about that like what's the solution what's underneath all this money stresses everyone out across the board if you don't have it your life sucks how do we give people more of it how did they or it's just educating maybe I can go off on a second tangent about that maybe what it is is you're it's not so much setting high school up for or setting high school students up for the job at Boeing like I said as an example but you're you're educating them all the things we think we should be educating our youth about like how to pay bills what are taxes what you know how do politics work how to be an adult how to go and file for a loan

or whatever like teach high school students real world shit only like not like the circumference of a tomato doesn't exist you don't need to who cares we we don't need to learn that anymore um it's not that is so useless like when I think about how many hours of my life I wasted like I'm looking at my little baby pumpkin right here I still have from October and I'm like wait no there's gonna be a robot there's gonna be something that can just look at that and tell me I'm pretty sure there's a scanner on my phone that can tell me right now there's circumference of that. So that's sad that we're going to make kids waste their life away, stressing over shit that they don't really need to need, need to know. Episode 66. What's up? Seahawks lost. I have a

note here to mention that. AB's back. AB's back. Antonio Brown's back. Don't want to talk about the Bucks game. I'm not like a big fan of them this year. I'm just like a Brady fan. So wherever he's that I'm a fan of but now with AB I'm like oh shit it sucked they I think they lost what was like 40 to 3 something somewhere around there Saints killed them uh yeah and then Seahawks lost but I'm looking forward to watching more of the books because the games because of Antonio Brown and go listen to previous podcasts. If you're like, why does she give a fuck about Antonio Brown? Just listen to previous podcasts. I'm going to be that bitch. I'm going to say, Hey, it's a scavenger hunt. Go back to whatever episode you think it might be. It's probably the

first like 20. I'm at six. I'm in the sixties. I'm in the retirement numbers now. 66. Um, next thing I wanted to say is a is about a TikTok I watched there's two TikToks I want to mention then I'm going to end uh first was the most challenging thing this TikTok was the most challenging thing I did all of 2020 and what it was was a TikTok where this bald man was staring he had glasses on and he was sitting in a gaming chair of some sort just like a chair an office there's a light kind of over his head kind of it was bad lighting but you know dark it was like a dark room and the entire time he talked the entire time and he was saying he was delivering useless random information about how this is the most challenging

video you will ever watch in your life most people don't make it to the end and I just sit there and listen to him talk about how challenging watching him do nothing was for a minute and i had to get to the end for him to tell me congratulations because most people and i noticed myself doing it immediately want to tap the comments scroll out go to the next video whatever it is crazy how my brain works it wants to leave boring content so quickly i'm programmed to just get the fuck like go to my home button i still have a home button don't make fun of me i have an iphone seven go to my home button get the fuck out of TikTok it creeped me out I was like wait but this is a challenge I have to I have to persevere I have to sit here for a minute and stare at this

guy do nothing he's like teasing he's like you're not gonna make it to the end but anyways so I thought that was crazy uh next thing I wanted to mention was this I'm on a I'm on a multiple multiple dimensions of TikTok so and I've been oh guys I've been on all the apps that I don't like myself I I I don't like myself when I'm using these apps frequently and this last week and this is probably contributing to why I feel like last week sucked is I've been back on tinder just mindlessly looking at people's like just swiping for no reason I'm not I have no goals with what I'm gonna do with tinder I have no plans I'm not trying to match or look for anyone or find someone but I'm just on it nonsense like just end of the day just like whatever

and then I'm on tiktok all the time so I'm on a lot of what did I say dimensions of tiktok and one of them is the like woke uh spiritual kind of people that are always talking about 5d and the the great awakening everyone's having and they're all they're so like excited about it they're like everyone is waking up it's 2020 everyone's waking up we're all finally getting the exposure we never had to what's really going on the CIA files that are concealed are finally out about manifestation is real and you have to sit and be quiet with yourself for 38 minutes straight and turn tune into your third eye and it's like so I'm on that side of TikTok and um i swear everyone has an existential crisis on every video and it's so fun to watch

them think about shit and then you're like wait i've never thought that before and that's why i'm addicted so this guy was talking about uh fuck now i need a chapstick employee i need a water boy and a chapstick employee that'd be hilarious someone comes over with a carmex and just slaps it on my lips i'm not kidding around when I say I'm hiring staff, hiring staff, it's going to be, you know, five years from now, but, uh, I'm going to have the most like bullshit employee titles, like literally water boy chapstick assistant. Um, I don't know someone to like, if I burp to like waft the air out of my face, cause I always drink sparkling shit and I'm always burping. Um, anyways, let me tell you about

this TikTok and let me go to bed because I need to upload this. So this guy was talking about how your gut feeling you get is your future self having, is it regret? Yeah. Wait. So wait, this is this is crazy so stay with me so let me think of an example so if I am in my car so it's like wait let me just play it I can just play it this is a really crazy idea and I think it all goes it's all about okay overthinking things be present who gives a fuck about the future in the past but I don't know I was I got so sucked into it where is it I literally like every video on TikTok I never can find the ones I like where is it all these monkey videos uh how are you guys doing this is the seventh inning stretch if you're new I keep saying if

you're new because here's the thing I gotta I gotta assume now 66 episodes that some people are tuning in for the first time and I get nervous they're not on board they don't know what's going on they're like what is this show what does she do literally it's a it's a I go down every rabbit hole in rabbit city and you find out at the end, which like, it's a, it's a blackout. I don't know what happens after I'm done. I don't listen to it. So I'm not, it's just like fucking whatever happens, happens. That's the show. Uh, shit. Where's the tick tock? Oh, this is the, can you watch the end guy? no one has ever watched this video all the way to the end and for most of you it'll be impossible

many of you are here because one of your friends specifically picked you out as someone who couldn't watch to the end so annoying i'm pissed i wasted a minute of my life staring at that okay i found the video listen i just thought of something insane right someone on here was talking about how your your future self sees you right now through memories right so your future self is automatically like looking into the past that's what memories are looking into the past and so there's this connection between you and your future self and you and your past self so i was taking that a step further and i was thinking about regret and a gut feeling right what if when you regret something you're looking into the past right you're obviously looking at

the past and you're thinking oh man i shouldn't have done that thing because it led to this anyways when you're feeling that regret what if that's your your your present self sending signals to your past self not to do that thing therefore your present self when your present self feels a gut feeling not to do something that gut feeling is actually coming from your future self who's telling you to who's regretting right so regret is you talking to the past and gut is you feeling that connection um okay so that's a lot uh it's like what i what i what do you say your gut feeling in the present moment is your future self-regretting it's like in communication with your future self in in regret why do i feel like i'm talking like do you guys hear that was i

just this is a simulation i just malfunctioned i just talked so fast wait that was weird i'm sorry but your future self because I have regret I'm like when I was in seventh grade I never became the youtuber I wanted to be I was gonna put my mac macbook up on my desk in my bedroom and do makeup videos just like all the like juicy star 07 I wanted to be like juicy star 07 she was my idol and never did it so that's so I'm regretting that so the gut feeling I had that I should do it when I was in seventh grade is that related to my regret now because everything is I don't know fucking time continuation all those like it's weird it's weird to think about I don't want to overthink it right now because I I life is simple we established that early on this episode life is

simple I don't need to overthink but um it's crazy how that how that is like whatever and maybe I'll tie this all in a bow and send it off to the North Pole I don't know why I said that like I'm thinking of Christmas time let's put this bitch in a package and send it off as a present so this might actually make sense your goals you have that you're thinking about you've got feelings about right now like like do that because at some point your future are gonna regret it does that make sense? Wait, if you don't do it now, your future self is most likely going to regret it. Or I don't know. Cause you don't know. And like, the thing is, is it could backfire if you follow through with a goal and it's not, it's not a positive outcome. You won't regret it

or no, you'll regret it. Wait a minute. What did I just say? I feel like an idiot right now. I feel like an unintelligent loser. So if you do the goal and it's successful you won't regret it if you don't do the goal and you continue your life on you're gonna regret it so how does that work so do the goal oh wait that works does it do the goal so you won't regret it in the future the gut feeling is today November what is today November 8th if November 8th the gut feeling is Jacqueline do the podcast every single day of the week so that's now that's present in five years if I don't do that and this never happened and I wasn't on episode 66 and episode 67 tomorrow

didn't happen and five years of podcasting every day didn't happen in five years I might regret not ever trying that out or doing it my life might be fine then but I might always go what would it you know I don't know because I think in life if you have that big dream that one thing you really want to go all in in on and send it like I think listening to your gut feeling about it and doing it because that's what your soul wants is 100% the move for other things that are like small like I kind of want to go to Mykonos but like I could pass but I still like I have a gut feeling right now I'd like to go on vacay like you know that's different than something that's at your core that you've wanted to do for years um because as time goes on it gets the window closes and it gets

smaller and smaller and you're like well you know I'm old and crusty and it never happened that sucks that's my that's my I think that's my biggest fear I think that's my biggest fear is uh being I don't know like 50 I know you can always restart your life in your mid you know in the in the middle but I just don't want to think of my 20s and my 30s like my earlier years where I was you know able-bodied and healthy and just peppy that if I didn't go after the dream that terrifies me and I think that's what I'm doing now I'm literally putting one foot in front of the other right now and I'm doing it who's sick of me talking about how much i love podcasting but that's what it is this is my dream

whatever fuck it i want to say thank you again i got maybe well i get i get dms more than often more than usual now about the shows and it's wild how i'll get message requests from random people that have never followed me they're like hey i just found your podcast i'm like what the fuck it's so weird because I don't know how they're finding it I don't know how that works I don't understand the podcast algorithm and how it's discovered because I'm such a small like a brand new podcaster but it's cool when people send me messages and shit and I just want to say like thank you uh you guys always say something along the lines of I love how passionate you are that's so cool you're doing this because you love it um I don't know because I get insecure

about how much I talk about how much I love podcasting so I'm like but you guys get it you know it's like if someone it's because you're rooting for me I think that's what it is whenever I listen to other people or watch other people with uh goals and dreams I'm even okay I'll talk about Antonio Brown again I wanted to see him back on the field I wanted I'm rooting for the under I'm we're I'm rooting for the guy that everyone hates okay I get it but not everyone but a lot of people don't understand him he's so misunderstood but if like that's what's fun to do in life is seeing someone you see like following someone and watching their journey like how are they like what's their goal and like watching them accomplish it is fun I think that's why

people like following fitness people, people that are like, I'm going to lose a hundred. I need, you know, I'm 400 pounds. I'm going to lose two, you know, 200 pounds or whatever. And then every day they're like at the gym and you're following them on the treadmill. You're following their little like smoothies they make every day. And it's fun. It's like progress. It's fun to see people chip away. And I guess that's what you guys are doing. Cause I fucking put my foot down. I said, Jacqueline, figure it out. You're in your twenties. This is your dream. Do it. Fucking do it. I'm living my dreams, and I'm 26, glad I wasn't a child star, or something, like, what if I was a six-year-old, I feel like there's gonna be the cutest little podcast shows with,

like, fourth graders, or, I bet that exists, probably on YouTube, like, little kids having their own talk shows, and I don't know, I was looking at all this wholesome, wholesome content out of the TikTok, uh, TikTok club with, they're all like, okay, there's like Dixie and Charlie, Dixie and Noah are dating. I know all this because I am on TikTok. I just know the, I know the club. Then it's like Charlie and Chase are dating. And it, this reminds me of Saved by the Bell shit. And then James Charles is like their host of where they film in the nice house and the fucking makeup studio. And they do like Halloween makeup, or we're going to bake cookies together for Halloween and I was just seeing the like the trending videos on YouTube

and it's all like wholesome uh just like quality shit from all these TikTok kids and I don't know it's reminding me of when I was younger and I watched uh I watched Zoom on PBS Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom I don't know if anyone knows what that is but it's kind of like if Saved by the Bell was a play I don't know how to explain it they did like skits sort of but it was or they not really skits they would do like craft time and then they would go and do the cooking time then they play games against each other and it was this show you watched and they had a p.o box you could send them stuff and I don't know this the whole tiktok club right now is kind of giving me that vibe uh which is cool it's a modern way we don't really watch tv shows like we used to

like uh yeah like Saved by the Bell I mean that's crazy what's like another one Jacqueline could sit here and talk about childhood tv for another hour it's like even Stevens no I don't know it's like a school one oh my gosh Recess I know it's a cartoon but Recess was so good Rocket Power damn it seems like a different life and I guys let's reminisce I know we're all adults let's fucking reminisce let's do it Sunday night got my candles lit it's sexy time let's talk about childhood because I know y'all want to get emotional right now it's weird how when I think about my lifestyle as a kid it was so much hanging out watching cartoons going to school

coming home just like watching cartoons with my siblings doing homework repeat repeat and like everywhere we go camping we always went camping as a family like we do all this like simple shit and now life is so different it's so like it doesn't even resemble that in any way anymore everything is like I'm comfortable with the fact that first of all I'm on Instagram for my job so that's like unavoidable but and I'm glad I can use it on my desktop I don't have to be on my phone because that's kind of a hack I do where it makes me feel 10 times more productive at my job when I'm not doing my work on Instagram on my phone but I'm on my laptop so it's weird though how I'm comfortable and like kind of down for just like fucking around for a couple hours

on TikTok or watching like a bunch of YouTube videos or scrolling on Instagram like I'm not that mad about it it's just a different way of life now but I'm when I really think about it I'm not that mad about I enjoy my hey my I like like literally 2020 was the comfy year it was the comfy year I'm comfortable I'm in my hoodie for the fourth day in a row now um I work from home My couch and I, my couch has gotten more action for my ass than anyone else. Like literally my couch has my ass imprint in it. It's wild. It's like a weird phase in life. I don't know. Do you guys know what I mean though? When you're a kid, everything is like, why do I give a fuck? Why am I reminiscing? It's like, Jacqueline, stop trying to live.

Why are you stuck in the past? No, I'm not stuck in the past. I think I'm trying to like conceptualize my different like lives I feel like child like childhood it was like kindergarten through eighth grade catholic school four years of public high school tons of sports tons of that like school spirit yearbook editor shit like that then it was college which was uh community college working at home um you know living with my parents going off to London going off to my Washington State University and like doing that and then staying there and working for a year and then uprooting my shit to San Diego it's like weird to think about each phase was so different from the one before it and now I feel like mid-20s compared to k

through eight was like different life it's so fucked up dude it's so I hate it I think that's why I gravitate towards childish like fucking I don't know what I do but I feel like I act like a five-year-old on my Instagram sometimes and I kind of I'm kind of insecure about it like, I have this, I don't know, this energy that I think I'm still holding on to, which is me and fucking pigtails eating mac and cheese, watching, uh, Hey Arnold or whatever. Like I still am that, but I don't know how to cope with the fact that I'm physically not that little girl anymore. And I'm not, I have way more responsibilities and like, yeah, it's, it's, hey I don't know this is my hey for those that are new again for those that are new this is my

therapy session I go places I talk to myself about life and it's it's like my it's therapy it's like an audio diary I'm saving trees I'm I'm curing the for deforestation issues we have in the Amazon because I don't write in notebooks I speak out my thoughts everyone wake up at 6 a.m and drink your coffee and write your morning pages and write for two minutes all your thoughts and then get up and go take a cold shower and do your deep breathing work and then go out in the sun like it's the whole do your morning journaling shit except I do it audio in audio in the audio i'm speaking it out instead of writing you know what i mean um happy sunday i hope your team's on all the football teams you you like uh that's a theme every sunday i'm like it's football sunday

one of the boys hanging out with the guys not really i'm not that chick not that girl but uh i love i just like watching my teams that i like and now i'm excited to watch ab because you know go listen to the previous episodes um patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show uh everyone gets a shout out everyone gets my exclusive content on patreon uh youtube to watch this just search my name simple oh if you don't know my name it's uh it's going to make up a name. Mary Smith. Welcome back to the Mary Smith show. I wish I had a simple name. Jacqueline Monroe. I went by Jackie for, by the way, I went by Jackie for, was it like high school? Yeah. High school and college. Yeah. Like eight years. And as soon as

I got my diploma, as soon as I graduated college, I'm like, no, but it's weird. I do this test with guys um but like when the guys I'm dating I when I first meet them I see what they do because some guys will just call me Jackie they'll see my Instagram they'll like you know we'll meet virtually and then they'll address me as Jackie like right off the bat and I only like it depends how they say it if it's hot when they say it I'm like all right this I'll let this slide I'll let this slide but if not then I'm like no it's Jacqueline like you gotta you gotta say the full name. Could have ended this an hour ago, but what's up? Happy Sunday. I love you guys. Talk to you tomorrow for Monday's podcast. All right. Bye. All right. Hello, my patrons of patreon.com

slash TJMS. What's up? Is this the most soothing shit ever to listen to a woman say this, like, say your name out loud. First off we have, um, should I do my Valley girl, Valley girl voice for the shout outs? First we have, uh, no, I got to get into character. I need absolute silence when I get into character. Hold on. So first we have Ricky Jensen, Ricky. No, that's not sexy enough I gotta like try to be sexy wait first we have Ricky Jensen then we have Trevor I almost said Trevor Noah fuck should I edit this I don't care then we have Trevor Garrett then we have Eagle One and finally we have Ozzy Osbourne I love you guys thanks for your support it's so awesome that you like the show and it just I can't thank you enough so thanks

I think I pulled it together there at the end I don't know what's happening I don't even guys shoot me a DM should I shout you out every episode or do it like twice a week I don't know I just want to say thank you every time so I can't help myself so fuck it anyways love you guys talk to you more for Monday's podcast all right bye