The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 68- Coming To You LIVE

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

Tried something new today! Thanks for hanging out on the livestream !! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

What's up? It's episode 68. Welcome back to the show. what's up guys it's Jacqueline happy Tuesday I'm doing something different right now. I'm on my Instagram live, uh, per, per request. Uh, guys, self-discipline has left the chat. I don't know what's going on this week. I had it in my soul today to, I'm going to address you. I'm like, I have two cameras on me right now. I don't know what to do. I've never done this before. Hi, if you're on the live, I'm doing my show. This is the actual podcast. Hello. Uh, anyway, self-discipline has left the chat. Uh, I woke up with a kink in my neck today sucked and I'm now doing this at 6 30 p.m. which is an improvement for from last night's podcast at 10

so here I am uh trying something new I'm on my live I don't know what to do life update uh work today woke up with a kink in my neck took a two-hour nap now I'm doing a podcast I didn't go outside uh I don't know there's so many cameras on me I've never had this happen before hi welcome to the live stream. I'm nervous. I don't know what to do. I don't edit this. And I'm like, I just need to drink my LaCroix and calm down. All right, guys. So this is what we're going to do today. I'm going to go into some quick shit I wanted to get off my chest about myself. Because this is my podcast, my show. Go ahead and subscribe. If you haven't subscribed yet, by the way please uh go to the apple podcast app go subscribe and leave a review and uh you can

watch us on youtube if you're not watching on the instagram live right now so there you go also if you want to support the show support my career as a podcast host you can go to patreon.com slash tjms everyone gets a shout out at the end of every episode everyone um gets my exclusive of content that's fun so yeah uh let's get into it refer to my notebook I write notes I'm not shy about that I'm not um this is not a one I don't do this without some thoughts beforehand um so this is a left field thing I want to mention about myself that it came up I did a live before the live I did a warm-up live stream I'm an athlete I'm a conversation athlete I talk to myself this is my like new thing I do but I did a warm-up live stream and I was like what if I

went back to my 2020 planner and read what I was up to during the beginning of the year before I you know lost my job and got locked down everything and I had so many goals written down and I have a thought about goal writing not goal setting like specifically goal writing every time I physically take a pen to a pencil paper whatever notebook uh I feel like I'm tripping on my on my words I'm so nervous hi Robert I'm doing this live right now I'm not editing this podcast this is the actual episode 68 that's my brother shout out Rob he made he made my intro music by the way I always link it down into the show notes or whatever okay back to this this is so all over the place. Okay. Deep breaths. I can do this. Okay. So every time I write my goals

on paper, I sabotage it within, I'd say minimum two days to two weeks. Like that is what happens every time without fail. Cause I hate it. I get, I get so stressed out when I read my old, like my 2020 planner my January goals I am it stresses me out because I'm like yep I sabotaged yep I sabotage yep I sabotage over so this is what I need to unpack obviously not with you guys watching this live right now but I wanted to get that off my chest I don't know why I do that because the thought I had the thought I had about podcasting daily was never something I wrote down on a piece of paper never I never well I mean I put it in my bio I do a podcast 365 days a year fucking whatever okay that's just like a flashy thing to get people's attention like look at me

I do a podcast every day whatever okay but like it was a thought I had and it was an instant execution it was like I want to do this seven days a week boom I did it I never wrote it down I never premeditated about it it just happened and here we are okay so I wanted to get that off my chest. What else? Someone wanted me to talk about Thanksgiving, um, on my warmup live stream in the locker room. That's what I should do. So this is what I should do. I got two cameras on me. I don't know what to do right now. I should do a warmup live stream and then do the actual one, but on the warmup, people can give me topic ideas and shit so that I'm, I'm ready to go when I'm on the field on the microphone what's happening you guys okay so this is the actual

number 68 let's if you're listening right now you're not on my live stream I apologize this is I know how annoying that is but what I'm gonna do is hope to god people make comments ask questions and I'll respond back and this will hopefully flow um but let me set the stage right now. Okay. If you're not on YouTube, if you're not on the live, I'm, uh, you know, I got a full face of makeup. I got a bun on my head. Trying to make you guys like, give you guys a visual idea of what's going on. I got a big hoodie on big black hoodie, my pearl necklace, all my rings and shit. Um, are you guys going to talk to me? Is this just, are you just going to watch and not participate in the live stream I should ask you guys questions and then read responses

biggest fear go biggest insecurity after that go we'll just have a like a dialogue of random shit uh so yeah I'm in my kitchen slash studio I'm drinking I discovered key lime LaCroix key lime LaCroix is the best one I just discovered it yesterday I got it at grocery outlet but, and I can't stop drinking them. I have three. You can't see it. I have two on the video right now, but there's three on my table. I'm down. I drank half a pack in two days and I finished the bag of cashews. So I talked about my cashew issue yesterday and it's, it's, they're, they're gone. No more cashews. Are you on YouTube live as well? Question from the audience. Are you on YouTube live as well? No, I'm recording it for YouTube, but I'm on Instagram live. I don't want to mention

Guys, okay, this is so annoying. Whenever I tune into a podcast, like if I go to the Apple podcast app or Spotify and I click a podcast and I know the people hosting it are like live on Instagram and they're interacting with people, it's so annoying because it makes you feel like you weren't there. It's annoying because you can't see the comments and it's just like I'm trying to, I should ignore it but I want to make it interactive tonight you should do a live meet and greet with all your homies in Washington when you get there that would be sick I would love to rekindle the bonds with my high school friends mini croissants yes mini croissants comment came in that said mini croissants mini croissants are what I said cashews are just mini

croissants same mouthfeel same enjoyment when you eat them i i finished a bag in like four days for like serving size 20 people what the fuck i couldn't i tweeted yesterday my tweet was how do you stop eating fistfuls of cashews i don't that is my worst like i don't know how to stop like when i snack on shit that's like salty and good I don't know how to stop how do you stop I should just like not I don't know okay guys I don't I'm uncomfortable right now episode 68 this is a train wreck trains are off the track I can't people watch it's dark out my windows are shut I'm so self-discipline has left the chat I'm doing this at night again

okay that's an entire segment i sabotage myself today on this episode that's an entire segment that's not being included right now the people watching segment because i can't look at people in the dark so where are people now that you went to high school with ah shit i'm tripping up on my words see where people are now that you went to high school with and that would be fun oh yeah a lot of people have kids and they're married like that would be a fun um um, fun thing to do. Like, Hey Jacqueline, what's it like to be on your own in your twenties? And I got two kids now and I'm married and you're just a single woman in San Diego. What's that life like? We could chit chat over that. How's it, how's life with, you know, two kids. Cause

we both were at the same level in high school. Like we're both doing class. We're both like doing sports and shit. And then we went to college. We're all the same thing. And then all of a sudden you're twenties. It's like some people go off and they have kids. Some people have, you know, marriage and all that shit. And then some people are like me and they're like, I'm going to do a podcast seven days a week. Ah, now I got to scroll. Don't buy potato chips. See, I'm not into chips. I don't really buy chips. Isn't that weird? I eat so many fucking baby carrots. I haven't mentioned my baby carrot issue. that's my those are my chips I love baby carrots okay um you stop until they're gone that's how

you stop I mean this is why there's obesity in America they need to make they should I don't know like bags of nuts I don't know I shouldn't be mad at myself for eating so many nuts because I feel like they're like healthier and it's fine but I don't know I never had you guys I don't think I've ever had cashews by themselves until four days ago I've only had them mixed up with other shit so I was like what the fuck these are like little croissants um Ozzy shout out Ozzy he says that's why I can't buy snacks because they're gone in a couple days or less I think it was because I just like discovered them for the first time and anyways same thing with LaCroix's no breaks key lime LaCroix no breaks it's half gone

I bought these what two days ago there's like a 12 pack hey I'm getting my water get my water in I gotta keep an eye on the camera up up top and on my Instagram live because guys this is not a big production okay my Canon G7X Mark II sounds fancy sounds fancy but it cuts off at 24 ish minutes of video and so I have to get up pause it come back so I feel like I'm juggling oh my god I'm juggling like this is like literally like cameras audio headset camera lights camera action holy okay I need to scroll the comments okay first of all if you're listening you're not on the live stream right now how are you doing it's Tuesday what's happening in the world I mean I haven't touched the news today I haven't even looked I heard in my warm-up live

stream in the locker room someone said something about Nancy Pelosi something about that I don't know what's going let's live let's look this up real time let's go on cnn.com real time and find out what happened today why not oh I know let's cross compare I'm gonna go to cnn.com and I'm gonna go to Fox News Fox and just see what the headlines say if we if they disagree and we disagree if you're watching this and listening or whatever and we disagree that means it's working they divided us and they're making their money and that's cool that means it worked Taco Tuesday no you guys don't say that in the comments everyone knows I don't don't, okay, um, I'm laughing, so, oh, Jesus, I, okay, I'm on cnn.com, let's get back to the

task at hand, guys, every podcast now, I'm sniffing lavender, helps calm me down, and helps center my soul, okay, so, my grandpa's dog died today, and I don't know which dog it was, this is not cnn.com or fox news my grandpa's dog died today it's either coco or sophie and sophie is a cockapoo and yeah sophie's the cockapoo and coco is a chocolate lab and my mom responded in our group text she said she like listed some things today they're all big things that happened in our family and the one of one of them was grandma grandpa's dog died and she didn't disclose which one so I was like Coco because Coco I don't think it would be Sophie even though Sophie's older I was confused and she just said yay back my brother sent us a sad face and I sent like a

Coco question mark and she wrote yay oh that means yeah but that's totally my excuse me that's totally my mom trying to say yeah so it's the chocolate lab that died and I don't know how and I don't think she was old um okay are we gonna go to cnn.com I just had to get that off my chest I'm a little bit guys since I moved to San Diego and I'm away from family a lot of well not a lot but a handful of people have passed in animals and I like don't know how to feel or process it I just feel like every time I go home there's someone missing or something missing and I feel like it's I don't know it's I don't like it Robert said Coco brothers in the chat Robert says Coco yeah Robert mom meant to say yeah but she wrote yay okay so I'm getting a question here

we're not going to go to CNN and Fox yet because guys I think there's going to be contradicting information from the two websites and I think it's going to be fun to look at and because I haven't seen the news today. So I just want to like, I don't know. That'll be fun. So question in the audience is, uh, why do people have, excuse me? Why do people always take sulfides in the bathroom? Why do people always take selfies in the bathroom? I feel attacked. Okay. I threw a bunch of throwbacks up today. I threw a bunch of throwbacks up today and I was in a bathroom a lot of the, I think in, I don't know, like two of the pics. Cause there's a fucking mirror in there and you see yourself and you're feeling yourself and you're like, I'm going to take a picture of my

outfit. I feel good. That's why you do it. I don't understand how people now I'll go further with that question. I don't like, I don't understand how people can have a toilet and shit in the background. Like literally a toilet full of shit in the background. Who knows if they flushed it? Who knows? Um, better to see you look okay in the bathroom mirror than walk to a different place. Okay. Anyways, let's go to cnn.com. This is what's important. You guys just let's just fucking stay with me so i was curious about their um their road to 270 electoral votes maps if those are consistent because i heard that or is it real clear politics.com took off some of biden's electoral votes real clear politics that's where you got to go real

realclearpolitics.com whenever um fucking what's his face Shapiro says real real real real clear politics he says it so quickly and I'm like how do you say it so fast I listen to him here and there and I'm just like he's like real clear politics says I had a thought by the way in the car on the way to the gym yesterday did I go to the gym yeah I did yesterday morning and uh I was like in my head I was at a stoplight ready to turn left and I'm like should I try to up my game with how my voice sounds on my podcast excuse me show this is a show should I try to like sound more announcer-y and like like like a news host type of person I don't know it's so strange how I've never understood how people that were like

you know long time podcast hosts or even actors I hear never watch the movies they're in or they can't watch the edits of it but I've heard a lot of hosts say I hate the sound of my own voice I don't listen to my show and I totally I never understood that I'm like how could you do it now I'm in that seat I'm like wait I can't stand the sound of my own voice and I don't listen and I'm there too okay so RealClearPolitics has uh shit oh god this is a website I've never visited and I don't know how to navigate it fuck we got I just want to look at their elect their their maps of the United States to cross compare and then I want to look at headlines I'm just seeing a lot of like i had i had the news on mute today and every now and then i'd glance and it was a lawyer

talking i don't know what's going on but cnn definitely still has biden at oh shit i just i hate when i minimize chrome why did i minimize chrome now i expanded it to full screen and now i have to god i hate i don't know how to use my computer um yeah they've still got i think uh cnn instills a biden 279 trumpet 214 okay this is what you get on fox today reporters give president elect kid glove treatment bash gop in his first q a since election was called this is i don't know what's going on this is boring um people are dipping out on my instagram live I should I quit should I just throw in the towel I'm doing this for the love of it I'm not doing it for the eyeballs and the ears I'm more about the ears and the eyes so if you're not

watching this I don't give a fuck stay off your screens reduce your screen time don't watch Jacqueline don't watch her show on on a screen listen to her and go on a hike go running go outside get fresh air do something productive while you listen I joked at like episode five I said I want this because we all have an issue with attention spans I'm like I want this show to be your attention span uh workout where you sit upright on your couch or in your kitchen or whatever and you play it and you don't do anything else you just sit there and listen like it's the 20s and you just sit around your phone with my podcast on and you listen attentively the entire time you could try it and get back to me shoot me a dm if you if you've ever done that because

here and there i'll kind of lay down and i'll listen to a podcast and be fully present it's great um okay so real clear real clear politics has biden at 259 electoral votes and trump slash pence at 214 so that's what i heard they reduced biden down from the 279 that cnn still has fox isn't showing a map they're uh their website's kind of annoying all the fuck okay i just love like okay let's go to cnn there's so many headlines like i don't know what okay they're okay I'm at 23 minutes I gotta pause this you guys it's just a sec okay one sec oh I didn't pause it on my computer guys see this is the part this is like the behind the scenes no one knows because I'm I'm live right now but I'm not actually this isn't going to be in the actual

episode I have to like pretend like I just left off this is what I want to say about the information age okay I get stressed out now as a host because I feel like I need to comment on what's going on in the world and there's so much to know there are so many countries there are so many people doing things so many headlines i'm looking at cnn.com right now there's so many headlines you can go and there's like 15 fucking tabs i can go into u.s world politics business opinion health entertainment style travel sports video i get stressed out and i don't like it i don't know what to do and i feel obligated i need to get this i need to nip this in the ass episode 68 i need to nip this in the ass sniff some lavender someone said to sniff some lavender

okay I need to nip it in the ass that I'm not showing up on this show for you guys as a report as a news reporter I don't give a fuck but I feel like an uneducated piece of shit if I don't say something about news and what's going on if I if I showed up like for example Alex Trebek from Jeopardy died I didn't mention that and I forgot to mention on like the day it happened because of course I did a show on the day after and the day it happened and I never mentioned it and I feel like I can't miss on important world events or else I'll sound like a dumb fuck what if I just made a podcast about Thanksgiving side dishes that's what someone wanted me to talk about earlier I haven't

touched that topic yet I don't want to talk about Thanksgiving side dishes okay green beans mashed potatoes stuffing if your great aunt brings a jello salad that's cool too um we do like ham and turkey usually and then my mom I feel oh no she does prime rib on Christmas my mom's hosting it this year and I just helped her for the last couple days life update am I still recording fuck I gotta escape i'm in full screen mode on my chrome and i don't like it okay my mom is buying a new table because she's hosting thanksgiving this year and i've been helping her uh find it it's a glass table it's got these cool comfy chairs going around it it's circular

okay technical difficulties oh someone asked me about thanksgiving is mac and cheese a side dish or a main dish. Definitely a side dish. The main, so, okay, wait. Everything but turkey is a side dish on Thanksgiving. Think about it. Turkey is the symbolic bird. It's that bitch. That's everyone's thing. Their main, their main focus. When you're in the buffet line at a Thanksgiving party. I still don't know if I'm recording or not. Um, when you're in the Thanksgiving buffet line that you have to put, I don't guys, if you're vegan, eat your tofurkey, whatever. Everyone gets that turkey first. That's your first mission. Then it's then the, everything after that's a side dish. Then you go over to your mashed potatoes. Then you go over to your green beans,

your stuffing. Like what else do I have at Thanksgiving? Cranberries. Oh my God. If you don't have cranberries on Thanksgiving. You need to, you need to get on it. Um, and I like, dude, ocean spray, cranberry sauce, or get the fuck out. Don't make it homemade. And I feel like every year someone in my family makes a homemade and I have to be like, yeah, it's great. But I want that. I want that can. I want that can. Okay. Give me the ocean spray crayon can. The crayon can't the Quran can't unpopular opinion in the comments ham is better than turkey I don't like ham I get grossed out by ham I watched so many guys when I was vegan I've told my vegan story I was like vegan for three years it got so dark to the point where I would find myself I was in

college right I was like staying up late studying and shit and then like my pre-bedtime ritual was going on vegan Instagram accounts and there's like a dark there I don't know if it's all blocked or you know how Instagram censors everything which side tangent Trump put out something that was like because yes I follow our president of the United States on Instagram and Twitter big fan of his tweets no I'm kidding kidding uh I I saw that he had posted a factual piece of information about celebrating the 245th year of the marines or something and it literally when i shared that post it was like are you sure you want to share this it's something about like uh you know there may be inaccurate information being shared that will fuck up the election i'm

like this is a fact the marines have been around for 245 years trump posted something about it today that's a fact but yet they don't so someone I gotta say I gotta say this to Instagram right now fire fire someone out there that's that algorithm that's or whatever that's doing that for when people share posts is assuming everything Trump posts is going to be like incorrect and and false information and it wasn't okay so I don't know we were going to go back to that unpopular opinion about ham being better than turkey oh no no I was gonna talk about the dark side of vegan uh Instagram because I I thought maybe now it would be blocked or whatever you can't see it I was like you go into an account and then you'd scroll really deep and then you

define like slaughterhouse videos of little pigs and shit and I was watching a lot of those and so I can't eat ham I just don't I still eat okay I still eat bacon I still eat ham but I still think about those videos I saw and it was traumatizing but um yeah those days are gone but see if you're vegan and you're on the you're at Thanksgiving uh there's options I feel like a lot of people do vegan Thanksgivings now that's awesome good for you I think you guys are doing great things just don't don't uh shame me for switching back to my old team my meeting my meeting my meeting team okay there's not much action going on the live stream right now I wanted to go and check in on the news okay so now my browser is fucking it was

I minimized it then I went to full screen I don't know how to use this computer I just want it to look normal open location my dad needs my dad's so techie with computers he would know what to do oh god i just opened a new window i don't know how to use this i have a macbook pro uh quick flex right there and it's a little too professional for me apparently i don't know what to fucking do uh shit okay like i'm on okay something happened here at the pentagon so cnn.com since monday four top defense officials have been fired or resigned and replaced by perceived Trump loyalists. So yeah, I did repost something today about how Trump fired someone who during the writing and everything was against military intervention and he like wasn't allowing

that to happen or something along those lines. So he fired that guy today. So now people are saying that if the election turns around and Trump is reelected and whatever, and again, I'm palms up. i don't fucking know what's happening i'm not trying to act like i know what's happening i'm not watching the news i'm looking at the news for the first time today don't attack me i'm uh okay i'm just kind of like whatever but people are saying if it if he gets re-elected and there's writing the military there's gonna be a military intervention because that guy's out and then people are not going to be able to fuck around and and loot gucci and shit and target i don't know oh god i said it maybe did i say this in the beginning of the podcast i'm like

i'm kind of living for 2020 in the most sick way right now and i'm not i'm ashamed of this does anyone out there okay i don't have much going on in my life right now other than my sick awesome cool amazing podcast show uh so any drama out there is kind of fun to follow and this whole election shit package delivery to my eyeballs and ears every day is i it okay here's what it is i wake up drink my coffee if i check in on the news i'm doing that and then at some point in the day i'm on tiktok and people are talking about what's going on and it's dramatic and there's people to conspirathizing shit conspiracize i can what is the word conspire conspiring

I was looking for that word yesterday. If you listen to episode 67, I was looking for that word yesterday and I couldn't find it. And today I found it. Let's have a moment of silence for that. Conspiring word of the day, conspiring. So yeah, you see the news. It's like basic bitch people talking heads boring and they go over to tiktok and it's like drama and then you go over to instagram it's a lot of reposts with like more drama and then you go to twitter and it's like you it's so fucking fun no one talks about that i'm living for 2020 i'm finally going life is a movie i'm the main character welcome to my show everyone around me is doing shit that's crazy and dramatic and exciting and i'm watching i'm sitting back with my popcorn just going this is fun as shit

life is so fun. It's all like, I realized this when I was watching the Alex Jones, uh, Rogan episode and Tim Dillon was also on it. Uh, but watching it was making me realize how much I don't know about the world and how like fucking crazy fun it is to realize you're just like a nobody. And there's people in power that are involved in shit that I have like zero understanding of fucks me up it fucks me up a little bit because I think it's easy okay like on a serious ish no I feel like it's easy to get overwhelmed and concerned and in your head about world events and when you have that perspective and you're like ah it's just entertainment it's just interesting and kind of take a step back it's it's a good fucking time I can't wait this

is the thing I'm also just looking forward to the movies about 2020 remember the movies about 2012 and it was like the world's gonna end on December 21st 2012 this what's going on now isn't at that level of destruction but this is like a baby step and this is what didn't didn't happen in 2012 this is what didn't happen in 2012 hi my boss is here guys oh my gosh uh life update live stream update my boss is in the building uh I'm hi Michael I'm doing my podcast right now live and I'm live streaming so I'm taking questions I'm taking anything you want to know uh yeah we're doing this I'm in I don't know like 30 minutes in right now what was I just talking about guys I'm now I'm oh now I have stage fright I got two cameras on me I got I got a lot happening

um guys I don't know what to do now I'm not professional boss I know you know that about me but I'm nervous if I swear I'm nervous if I trip up should I just end the show now I don't know what to do guys this is real life welcome to my life um so anyways I was just talking about life is a movie this year and it's so fun to follow it's so fun to follow okay someone asked me on my warm-up Instagram live about Amazon like wish lists Christmas stuff so I thought I could go to Amazon and look up what's currently in my cart what's on my I put list together um so let me go to amazon because someone was like when you want like the christmas gift stuff there's like whole sections on amazon for it that buy now button that buy now button

needs to go away I pulled that trigger twice today on stuff I don't need so yep do you guys feel like this is getting dry right now because I'm I'm nervous because I feel like my boss is watching I'm nervous about anything I say a question in the comments I'll go to Amazon one sec about what didn't happen in 2012 remember it was like the end of the world was supposed to happen 2012 the Mayans predicted with their calendar December 21st and on that day I loved it because Australia and New Zealand it was they're so far ahead so whenever I woke up or like the day before you could see because they were already ahead of us people were posting funny pics on Twitter of like volcanoes and shit like everything blowing up like fake pictures

and it never happened obviously but i'm saying like this is the first time in my life this year has been the most i guess you would say not destructive but doomsday than any other year i've lived in so anyways i want to quickly i got just a few minutes left here uh again you guys go to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show uh everyone gets a shout out everyone gets my exclusive content on Patreon. You can watch us on YouTube. You can, sorry, I got a notification on my phone. Oh God, I'm tripping up and this is where I'm doing my plugs. You can go to YouTube to watch this and subscribe on the podcast app. All the things. Okay. So Christmas gifts on Amazon. How are you guys doing? Happy Tuesday. Oh,

should I do Christmas gifts for women? Because I have like 90% guys listening. So let's do it. I mean, girls love things. We like cute things. No, you know what? I'm going to do what you guys asked for. I'm going to go to my car. I'm going to go to my list and talk about some things. So I pulled the trigger on something that was very inexpensive. I got a new planner. By the way, if you're a nerd like me and you like to write all your notes about your life on paper, your schedule, I don't like calendars necessarily that are like Google calendars and stuff. I've used them before, but I just like to write it down. I just, I like to hold it. um I have I write like literally so much every day and guys I feel like let me show off my I'm

flexing on my viewers right now I used to write so much for the podcast and I slacked off I don't do it anymore but if you like planners and you like writing down your schedule get the day designer planner the day desire designer planner it is so good because it has time slots in it it's here let me go to like a blank. I'll show the camera. Um, it has like all the, the entire week when you open it and like if you open it and it has the entire week and then each day has time from like 6am to like 9pm. And then it's just really simple, but I like that you can chunk things out and write by times so it's really nice and I like I don't like planners where you have to there's like bullet points you just write to-do lists I like when there's time

time okay so I pulled the trigger and bought that on Amazon I pulled the trigger and got um some earrings on Amazon uh what else I have oh my gosh let me tell you what's currently in my cart a reverse osmosis a reverse osmosis no let me read it simpure y5 instant hot reverse osmosis water filtration system countertop reverse osmosis water filter uh because i i really need a water filter i buy you guys this is so terrible for the environment i have jugs you know i do this thing and i'm not proud of that so i want to get a filter I also have in my cart a supply giant 18 inch long pre-cut black steel pipe that I didn't buy because I was going to use that as my expander on my new curtains I installed

but I realized that I'm just going to makeshift it and now it looks terrible so I put eucalyptus leaves around the middle part of my curtains to make it look less stupid so because I used tape I basically found oh yeah I used I told you this story on my an earlier podcast I used my Swiffer duster and I like broke it so that just the tube was showing and then I wrapped it with black tape and made that my curtain rod expander but so let me just like delete this out of my cart don't need it um crispy collection next up we got crispy collection hair accessories for girls assorted elastic ponytail holders 24 pieces these are those snoop dog looking beads that you put in your hair like if you braid your hair you put the little they have

like two little balls at the end that you you know you know they're like dangly so I got those in my car all different colors I thought it'd be fun to I used to wear those when I was little and if you haven't noticed everything about me now is so childlike and here's Frankie let me get Frankie I just like cute shit I don't know what's happening I don't know if I'm reverting back to my child like um is this Benjamin Button no what is this uh so yeah I'm like oh I remember wearing those hair ties when I was a little girl so I'm gonna get them again um is a steel still hanging out in there the steel still hanging out question in the comments sorry if you're new this is my Instagram live asking questions the steel

wait well like elaborate are you talking about the uh the pipe in my car the black pipe the steel pipe or are you talking about my curtains if it's hanging out no it's like covered the eucalyptus covered it side conversation with my Instagram live by the way you can follow me on Instagram I'm just plugging myself today uh I got blue like blue light blocking aviators I thought they'd be cute but ever you can tell this is the thing I hate when like blue blockers look like blue blockers I don't want them to look like blue blockers blue blockers that's fun to say uh oh oh okay sorry back to the question people want to know if my, uh, morbidly obese, sorry, I don't know what the tech, what's the politically correct

term to say? My extremely overweight plush seal is still in my cart on Amazon and it's in my Christmas gift section. Okay. I'm thinking about getting it for someone special in my life. And instead of giving it to myself, because just like I gave away the pony to that lady in the grocery store the white pony i told that story a couple days ago i want to give away things i want for myself for christmas to other people and i don't because i don't need it um so what else is in my cart some jessica simpson crossband soft plush memory foam house slide with anti-skid sole slipper leopard print slippers i've been buying a lot of cozy shit so when i go home i'm gonna be like warm because it's so cold up in Washington I can knock it over how the temperature drops to

like the 50s now and I am freezing and if it was 50 back home in Washington back in the day I would be like in a tank top and shorts that I'm living for it um is this boring let me just do a list here I'll read off a list I have on Amazon I'm so obsessed with writing lists on Amazon I hate episode 68 because I feel I feel jumbled and discombobulated and then my boss showed up and I feel nervous that I said something that's gonna get me fired um your list let's go to daily essentials why not have I talked about this before I feel like I have um I do have a nose hair trimmer in there that I've never purchased I think it was on an infomercial and I got inspired I got influenced by an infomercial to buy a nose hair trimmer and

I should just delete it because that's making me feel like gross I'm not I don't have a hairy nose like my nose is fine I have my vitamin d I get nature wise vitamin d I don't know there's great there's four oh my god there's 43,000 fucking reviews on this vitamin d of course I bought it Whenever, does anyone else do that on Amazon? Whenever there's like, I don't know, 10,000 plus reviews on something, I just immediately buy now. I'm like, oh, it's a done deal. Because no amount of one-star reviews on something reviewed 10,000 times or 50,000 or whatever is going to make me not buy it. Like I'm not persuaded. I'm not persuaded by those one-star reviews. Not at all. And it never happens to me. Whenever I buy stuff with

when people rip apart, uh, the product on the reviews, it never happens to me. I always have a good experience. So life hack, just buy it, buy it now. Um, I have retinol in my daily essentials. Uh, that's boring. I use rock retinol. I do three months off, three months on, three months off, three months on, three months off, three months off. I don't want to get no shit done to my face. uh i feel like just being a little chubby makes your wrinkles fill in a little bit i noticed that this year fills in those little crevices just eat those cashews jacqueline it's okay oh we got a pillow so hi we're gonna talk about this pillow i have in my daily essentials 11,000 reviews. Guys, this is boring. I got some kitchen gloves. I've got light bulbs. I've got

poopery, squatty potty essential. What is this? For guests, you know, in your bathroom. I got Amazon basics legal pads. I like to write on legal pads. I got soft scrub for my shower tiles. And oh my gosh guys this is my goal before I go home for Thanksgiving I decided so Ozzy it records for 24 minutes and then it cuts off so go support me on patreon.com slash tjms so I can upgrade my g7x mark 2 to g7x mark 3 and have unlimited recording time thanks so uh it's like 600 I should just exchange it because it's the same price I could just like do a little swappy swap but I hate selling shit on eBay and so annoying to have to do that. Um, what was I saying? Oh, so I made a goal before I go home for my Thanksgiving trip to basically not worry about cleaning, not worry

about anything until the last week before I go. And I'll do a one deep clean cause I'll be home for a month. So I don't, I just feel like if I waste time now cleaning my shower tiles, I'm mentioning that because I have soft scrub in my Amazon cart. It's going to be a waste of time. So I'm not going to do that. I'm going to just like do it on the Wednesday before I leave and call it, call it good. And I'm also getting my nails done. I'm getting a tan. I'm getting my hair done. Whenever I go home, I feel like I need to look on point for my family or else they're all going to think I have something, there's something wrong with me because they already think there's something wrong with me. So if I look like there's something wrong with me,

it's going to be even worse. They don't think they're, they don't think something's wrong with me. I feel like now they're like, Oh, Jacqueline's finally Jacqueline. Yay. We're proud of her. But like, or she's finally like getting there, I guess. Cause I wasn't there earlier this year, but I don't know. I don't want anyone to worry about me. okay question the comments you getting your sling for when you go you listen to episode 67 i mentioned people should wear arm slings when they don't want to do anything like it should be the universal signal out in public if you have an arm sling on to just don't fuck with that person they don't want to work they don't want to do a chore

they don't want to hold the door at cvs they don't that's a automatic door they don't want the door at a gas station. Ew, gas station doors. Nasty. Okay, guys, I'm going to do real quick here. Enough with the Amazon, what was in my list? I don't know. The daily essentials list. This is what I learned today because every podcast is a learning experience. Let's talk about it. Let's debrief. I learned that I like to perform for my Instagram live, but I don't know how to do that I don't mean I don't mean like perform for you guys but I feel like I can't neglect you and so I think it's my peripheral vision seeing your comments coming in and shit is really making me uh flustered as a host and I don't think I'm

ready for this step as a as a podcaster I don't know if I'm ready to do multitasking like this it was fun we had some chit chat about random stuff which is nice so you guys contributed to the conversation a little bit today but uh I don't know at least I had fun and I learned something so hey that's the goal of every show so it's it's a it's a lifelong learning experience I'm in this bitch for 30 years that's probably this is my 30-year plan that's it someday I'll get good at it maybe year five I'm guessing around five years if I had to guess um okay this is what I'm gonna do I'm gonna hold my breath I'm gonna hold my breath for as long as I can hold my breath and as I'm holding my breath you guys have to write something in the comments on my Instagram live

or else I'll die so here we go wait wait let me do warm-up breaths okay wait is this stupid I've never done this like interactive okay wait okay wait get ready to ask questions I need like everyone to say something you could say what you could no emojis just say like get your question ready get your comment ready get your something and then I'll read them and then I'll leave and I'll do my shout outs for my patrons okay I've never I haven't held my breath since I went swimming in a swimming pool I'm nervous guys I'm like nervous I live alone oh my god okay wait okay I'm gonna get my deep belly breaths going I've been doing a lot of yoga I should be good at this okay ready there's like not even anyone in this chat who gives a fuck

I love it how yesterday I podcast or I Instagram live for four hours with like literally five people the entire time it was so lit okay ready this is bullshit no one's saying anything like immediately if I was gonna okay listen if I okay I'm I'm about to like like leave my Instagram live right now and totally block everyone in it because listen listen if I was witnessing a woman I'll pull the woman card if I was listening to a woman or watching her on her Instagram live say that she is gonna hold her breath and when she holds her breath it's my cue to ask her a question or post a comment that's something something interesting for the show to contribute to the conversation today

and knowing that she lives alone and no one's there to save her life if she suffocates knowing that I would immediately do something as soon as I held my breath just there I would have had something ready to go ready to fire and no there is not a delay there's not a delay on my live okay there's no delay so whatever these questions and I know these I'm sorry I didn't ask a question shit this all these comments showing up late there's no delay okay don't you don't even play right now there's not a 15 second delay no this is not NBC this is not CNN I'm not a news reporter out in the field going back to you john okay ozzy said he asked a question guys i'm just fucking around okay this is my show i just like

to have fun question from ozzy how was yoga today okay great question we'll finish this is the last question then i gotta leave because look i haven't eaten dinner i need do i need to eat guys do i does it look like I need to eat should I yet that's no I shouldn't say that that's so um triggering for some people I should not say shit like that that's um yeah that's like bad okay sorry I'm like joking because I feel like I'm on camera and I don't like I just feel like like a slob okay so great question Ozzy about yoga today I so both directions I move my neck hurt and going back hurts the only thing that feels kind of good is like a slight forward lean which makes sense because that's my natural position my natural

tech neck position is slightly forward and down like so I couldn't do yoga I tried to do it like I was in a downward dog this morning doing my morning yoga and I was in so much pain because tucking my like it still hurt um so great question I didn't do yoga today in fact I will be doing it after dinner yes I'll be eating guys that's a joke I gained weight this year I'm open about it everyone gained who I mean if you didn't gain weight I'm jealous of you and bitter but I'm joking because I feel like a chubby chump chipmunk today it's because all the salt you know what it is guys it's the salt from the cashews it's the salt from the cashews I couldn't out myself. I couldn't stop. I could not. Now I know what cashews are. I guess I didn't know before

making my face puffy. I'm a girl. I'm insecure about my appearance sometimes. It's cool. It's normal. Okay. I can't, I shouldn't talk. I should not be talking about my weight around my polar bear. This polar bear right now. No, he's not iceless in the North pole. He's here in sunny San Diego. He's well fed. I should not be talking about my weight around him because he's a little chunky donk a little chunky donk um question before I go I said that was the last question but I'll do this one what are your go-to yoga youtube channels great question Travis Elliott is my favorite and Tara Stiles is it Tara Tara Stiles there's yoga with Adrian but she does a lot of more gentle beginner stuff I like her bedtime

yoga but my favorite is Travis Elliott right now and I like his I think they're the person's voice and how like what they say during the class is important so um like if you get annoyed by it the whole time that's gonna suck but I like Travis Elliott and Tara Stiles um it has to be the salt. Yeah. You can see it in my face. I'm getting fat shamed right now on my Instagram live. Hey, it's all good. Um, have you had macadamia nuts? Yes. Those are the things where I'm like, I ball out on free range, grass fed, organic, the cow was petted. He was nurtured type of meat. Like I buy the most expensive possible meat because that's something I learned throughout my vegan veganism, watching all those slaughterhouse videos of, you know,

factory farms I did learn about sustainable not well ethical farming practices and butchering and now I ball out on the expense of meat that's just what I choose to do but it's interesting how I see the price on macadamia nuts at Whole Foods and I'm like absolutely fucking not you get like what a two cup container for $24 I can't justify like my brain doesn't understand that from academia nuts I need to go harvest them I need to fly to Hawaii and harvest them myself and like well can you do that I remember going to Hawaii and there's this big thing with like at the airport they're like are you transporting any produce from the mainland like they're so paranoid that a fucking watermelon is going to cross contaminate with their crops in Hawaii I

was like what is this um question about nuts we're talking about nuts right now I'm nervous uh it's I'm uncomfortable about this topic okay uh I'm triggered by this topic uh what about chestnuts chestnuts we're all staying on an open farm uh have I cracked open a chestnut before I feel like I have it's like a Christmas time thing yeah I have chestnuts are good or those hazelnuts we always had when I think about Christmas time back home we always had these like we had we I grew up around the coast in Washington we ate so much crab so much lobster so much what else like just so much shellfish oysters my neck hurts that hurt fuck no um yes Ozzy have eaten walnuts but we always had these pinchers that look like little crab pinchers to crack open your crab

which is kind of funny if you think about it it's kind of that's a great idea but I would always use those to open Christmas nuts because we'd have like fancy nuts hanging around the house during Christmas parties and we always had we had nut crackers like the actual like we had these metal nut crackers but we also had um the crab pincher legs to open the chestnuts and I always like and they were red and I always like using those. Uh, mussels. Uh, yeah, I've eaten mussels. I like mussels and pasta. I feel like that's where I've eaten mussels. I don't just eat my shit. I'm a shellfish. I'm a, I'm a shellfish bitch. I like shellfish, shellfish, love oysters, love oysters. That was an acquired taste. I warmed up my taste buds with little steamers. My family, we'd all

go clamming. I think we were illegally clam digging. I don't know if it's legal. We'd have to know what the tides were doing. And we, my dad had these like wader boots and shit on like suspender wader, water waders. I don't know. And we'd all go out there and like dig for clams. And I started with little steamers cause I couldn't do oysters. I got, I was always jealous of my sister cause she could eat oysters and I couldn't. And she was only a year older than me. so I start out with little steamers and we butter butter them up really good and uh we butter them up sorry my Instagram live pause because I got a 20 battery notification because I have an iPhone 7 and it dies really fast now uh and then I warmed up or then I graduated to the oysters and I

remember I was at a winery I think I was in like sixth grade or something I don't know my mom was doing something for work she just happened to be at a winery and I remember going to the barbecue and there, there were oysters there. And that's when I started eating oysters. I'm like, wait, these are good. As long as you butter them up, I can eat them raw now. But, uh, what else do I like? Yeah. Clams, oysters, crab. Oh my gosh. Fresh Dungeness crab. The best. What else is so like Seattle of me? Um, I don't know. I just like love seafood. Can it just be Christmas already? oh we're talking about Christmas someone's getting in their feels right now in the comments chess I get triggered by the way by all these like Macy's commercials where it's all like

happy snappy everyone's wearing sparkly heels and clothes and the kids look happy as fuck and they're wearing sweaters I get triggered by that I'm like it's it gets under my skin because I'm like it's not what that's selling a fantasy that's not realistic for a lot of people and it's depressing kind of especially in 2020 that they're putting out happy snappy Macy's commercials I'm just throwing Macy's under the rug like Michael Kors does it like they all have these glam Christmas commercials and I get I'm like damn it this is why America this is why we have depression issues because people have this expectation what's supposed to be and then that's not their life and then they're sad what's a realistic Christmas commercial uh

you visit your mom's house and you visit your dad's house and everyone's fighting and maybe someday we'll see that in commercials. I don't know. I don't watch TV that much, but um, I just got an answer about my dad's suspenders for clam digging. I got told by my mansplainer, my favorite person ever, Ozzie said they are water suspenders. Thank you. I need to go fishing. I need to do something. I need to get out of the house. Someone take me fishing I maybe I don't know can I go fishing in December back home what's during what's I don't know is that like bass season I don't fucking know I realized today I'm like my life I feel different I live in California now but I feel like

I can't not that I can't relate to people here but if you grew up here and you never like I grew up in such a different place than like the lifestyle the activities are so different and I'm finally noticing that after a couple years living here I'm like whoa it's so different okay I'm gonna end this live stream and end the podcast I need to eat dinner I need to stretch I'm gonna do yoga but I'm gonna do like lower body stuff that doesn't involve my shoulders and my neck and fish american lake in san diego is that down here i need to go i need to catch a fucking fish and i don't want to do like ocean fish i want to go to a river i want to go to a lake i want to go i want to drive somewhere and i want to just the ocean is fun

i like going out like spear diving excuse me spear fishing that type of shit um anyways i need on the podcast do yoga eat upload all this get to bed at a good time and be self-disciplined the goal tomorrow is to be self-disciplined and do this in the morning instead of at night oh american lakes in washington there's so many lakes in washington ross lake fucking clear lake i don't big lake back where i live the Salton Sea terrifies me Ozzy because it's it has earthquakes every every I get the San Diego earthquake updates and there was an earthquake storm the other other week that was uh there was a total of 52 baby earthquakes and that terrifies me like I just imagine if there's

an earthquake by the Salton Sea it just splits in half and then if you're in it in a boat fishing you just like fucking fall between the earth the water would just like go in the crack the crack and you just sink in i guess your boat would stay afloat though that that would be a i feel like i want to experience something dramatic like that but i survive but i don't know the scenario i don't want to talk about this right now i get really uncomfortable being scared and i don't like thinking about it i'm a human being i don't like think about death and shit i don't like this i don't know what just happened um okay i'm gonna end the podcast thank you guys for listening today thanks for learning with me about multitasking and trying

to stay on topic about um you know my day what people want to know on the instagram live and all my rants and thoughts so yeah tomorrow episode 69 is coming your way on wednesday um yeah okay so patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show youtube to watch this and subscribe to the podcast on the podcast app and leave a review uh i totally get it today was like a good one to two star type episode so go ahead and leave honest review i get it and yeah have a great day i'll talk to you tomorrow all right bye guys all right today's patreon.com slash tjms patron shout outs are about to go down and I'm I'm feeling insecure right now because I'm on my live stream

and I have one of my patrons watching and I feel like now he sees me exhausted after I finished the episode having to do this and I'm just like great now I have to fucking do my shout outs like I said that under my breath as he's watching me so Ozzy I'll shout you out first shout out Ozzy first person first patron thank you for your support next up we have ricky jensen then we have trevor garrett and eagle one you guys are my four you're my quad squad you guys have great quads you're there's four of you you're my quad squad you were before ozzy joined the club it was my three amigos and now it's the quad squad so thank you for your support i get to do this every day I'm living my dream it's so fun and you guys are you guys are helping me out so

thank you I'll talk to you tomorrow for uh Wednesday's episode 69 podcast all right bye