The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 69- The Political Sex Position

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

I talk all things 69 and no I'm not trying to be call her daddy lol. This was actually so fun. Happy Humpday!! ;) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hello, happy hump day. It's episode 69. Welcome back to the show. Hello, guys. Happy Hump Day. It's episode 69. What's up? Hi. If you're new, I'm here seven days a week. Go ahead and go over to your podcast app and subscribe to the podcast. Leave a review. Go watch me on YouTube. I'm here Monday through Friday. It's also, okay, it's Hump Day. It's episode 69. That is so me. That is so me. And I feel awkward about this episode today, I'm just going to tell you right, right off the bat now that this is going to be all about the number 69. I'm going to go into so much and I'm a bit shy about that because it's also Veterans Day. Okay. Shout out to all the veterans

out there. You know, thank you for your service, past, present, future, military, holy shit. Like they say, you know, we're the home of the free because of the brave and I can't thank you guys enough, so thank you, warrior service, and I just posted, I, I was reminiscing, I always get sad on Veterans Day, I always get, like, I don't know, I, I cannot, I, I've watched, I grew up on so many war movies, and, um, I swear to god, I saw Saving Private Ryan when I was, like, four years old, uh, which is the, probably my favorite one, uh, Black Hawk, Black Hawk Down, Pearl Harbor, um fucking my favorite movie of all time is The Great Escape if you guys haven't seen The Great Escape with Steve McQueen that's one of my favorite military uh movies out there but

anyways I always get sad on Veterans Day I kind of get like emotional about just war and like I get in my head about what these people actually did and like the horror they had to experience for like, it's insane to me. So I was on my Facebook on a private, uh, album that I put together back in, I think middle school. And I visited Washington DC with my mom and I found a bunch of pictures. I posted those today and I'm just looking more and more like a fucking Trump supporter every single day. I swear. I was telling my sister this, we FaceTime this morning and I'm like, Julia, I feel like the cowboy hat is rubbing people the wrong way. A lot of people are clapping back in my dms because i've posted some cowboy hat shit i posted like me on a horse

when i was a little girl that that must mean i'm a trump supporter i don't know people are really coming for me in my dms anything i post that is slightly conservative in any way they like i'm getting novels and in fact i kind of want to read some of them but i don't entertain it i don't have i don't think it's a productive use of my time to clap back and try to debate with people in my dms I just don't have time for it. So you're always free to send me a message and tell me how you feel, but you're not going to get a lot out of me. I don't care. I just don't care. And, uh, anyways, so, so wow. Okay. So talked about, this is going to be the 69 episode. Haven't dived into that yet. Cause I'm kind of nervous. We're going to talk about the history of 69, 69 horror stories,

69 experiences 69 the rapper 69 I don't know I can't avoid it I can't avoid it it's hump day it's episode 69 I have to talk about it but I had to talk about veterans day obviously um damn what a crazy I don't know it's like a sad fucking day I don't know why I always get sad on veterans day and I don't I'm like proud to be American woo you know but um I don't know anyways guys ah so slept great woke up facetimed my sister immediately she is the reason I woke up so early she facetimed me we were both waking up at the same time like on our phones and then boom I get a facetime I still have my retainer in I hadn't drank water I hadn't brushed my teeth and she's like going off she's like Jacqueline I'm gonna go to the coffee shop and I'm gonna get my

dirty chai and I want to take you with me and I want to show you around my neighborhood and and I was like how are we this energized when we first open our eyeballs in the morning it was fun it was so fun to catch up with her and I was making coffee she was going through the drive through getting her coffee and anyway she wanted me to talk about uh things that trigger me today but again I'm avoiding talking about 69 because I don't know what to do okay I feel uncomfortable it's a sex topic this isn't color daddy I don't know if I'm going to handle this appropriately but I think it's fun to talk about so anyways patreon.com slash TJMS if you want to support the show quickly here everyone gets a shout out everyone gets a shout out at the end of every

episode you also get to see my exclusive content and yeah so let's get into it first of all I want to say this 69 is not overrated okay it's not overrated you're just a quitter and you suck at it so figure it out okay figure it the fuck out if you think if you've had bad experiences 69ing that means you're a quitter and you suck at it okay I personally seek out partners that I can see myself 69ing with that's it scope them out first don't just go girls if you're 5'2 you're dating someone that's 6'8 you're gonna have an awful time 69ing okay that it doesn't work the the it doesn't work correctly the body the skeleton structures of that combination are not going to work right okay so don't date someone who's six eight if you're five two

first of all uh i happen there's a height range that i i seek after and i've mentioned it before go listen to past episodes if you're curious yes it is over six foot is also under six five and i have in my experience that has been um a wonderful uh compatible match during 69 situations i just talking about like a free bird today i know this is awkward for my family I don't I'm sorry I'm sorry family but it's episode 69 I can't help myself um so anyways yeah be a good be a good judge of uh or or scope it out before you do it and then you won't you won't get disappointed okay so figure it out don't be a quitter it's great if you uh okay I felt like I need to move on but you get what I mean it's not overrated I get why people say it's overrated

you just suck at it and you're a quitter okay so I'm gonna go to um first of all I meant to do this I'm such I don't have sound effects queued up so I meant to do this at the beginning of the 69 segment so here you go yeah so what's up everybody I woke up in a bad mood I'm gonna keep it all the way above supposed to be in a good mood but I'm in a bad mood album just dropped yesterday takashi69 i was like thinking of every 69 thing possible and the first thing i thought of was takashi69 if you're not familiar he's a rapper and he has rainbow hair teeth uh 69 tattoos all over his body he's a honestly probably my favorite instagram account to follow in fact i've told i've told this story I think episode four when I was in college and I'd be like stoned or something

super late at night this is when I was like first kind of getting into it whatever okay honesty episode honesty always I don't know if I'm oversharing if this is inappropriate I'm professional look I'd be high as fuck late at night like 2 a.m and my thing I the thing I do and I still do it is all scroll like forever on rappers Instagram profiles and I remember that the first time I did it was on, uh, Takashi69, his profile, and I was like, it was the most fun Instagram stalk I've ever done, so, anyway, so I got that little audio, uh, blurb out of his mouth for episode 69, and I also have this to share, uh, I actually, okay, wait, get ready for it. summer of 69 um anyways those are the songs those are the people i thought of for today

um the backup and support the theme i don't know like i take things literally sometimes i'm not a i don't like people that do that in conversation where you'll say something and then they they take it for exactly what it is. And those are the most annoying people out there. I'm trying to think of an example. I can't think of an example, but you might know what I'm talking about. Someone is like overly rational and overly like, um, I don't know. They, everything you say, they don't, they see it for the word. They don't see it for the meaning. So I hate this episode already. How am I doing guys? Are you having fun? Episode 69. It's supposed to be fun. I got a red or I got an American flag bandana on. I got a red, red crew neck on today. Still wearing my

pearls. I got my notebook today. I finally brought my notebook back. How are you guys doing? It's hump day. Go hump something. Um, I don't know. This is not color daddy. I should not be saying shit like this. This is not my lane. Get out of this lane. But look, uh, so fucking, um, 69, let's go to the history. Let's start off the 69 episode with the history. All right. So 69 is number used to refer to a sex position due to the number looking like two people having mutual oral sex. Online, it has a reputation as the sex number. Origin. The earliest evidence of people participating in the sexual position was in France in the 1790s. It's crazy to think people had sex back then that's weird and they're big dresses with the poofy bottoms of shit i've never i'm

just like i thought people just did missionary until like 1969 literally until 1969 i thought missionary was the only sex position anyways uh they're saying now that in 2020 69 is like the christian side hug anyways i saw a tweet that said that i'm repeating information uh so soon after the position became known the term soik santinouf french for i did not say that correctly french for 69 hence the number was given to it the earliest known use appeared in the whores catechisms in france and i've been to the catacombs is that the same is that something related to the catacombs the comma suture refers to the position as the congress of a crow it's like a political sex position 69 is the congress of the crow okay so the term began

we're talking about 69 if you're just tuning in now why would you just be tuning in now this is a one-take show you start at the beginning you finish at the end i got two people fucking walking outside I bet they 69 this morning they definitely look like this they okay just observing this couple right now she picked her partner out perfectly height perfect leg length perfect because that's the thing it depends where your like torso and your legs connect on each person just go look at Delaware New Hampshire they're 69ing I'm pretty sure those are the two states that look like they're 69ing just go look at a map if you need to know like what to look for and a partner okay so fucking let's talk about the spread uh the term began appearing in pop culture

in the mid-18th mid-18th the mid-20th century mid-late 20th century okay notably two popular songs refer to this exposition the first she blew my mind 69 times was composed by r&b rock singer r&b rhythm and blues singer rick james i suck at reading off the internet i'm sorry it started in 1982 okay then we got summer 69 all right you get it but let's go here um there's something about what trump tweeted so the thing online and meme culture that people do around the number 69 is the reply to it or the thing that couples with the number 69 on twitter on instagram comments on whatever is the word nice so people were so like barack obama tweeted something years back that in uh 2016 or something it says

senate leaders should listen to the american people hashtag do your job and then it was 69 something about a majority vote anyways people in the comments were all saying nice so that's a thing to do whenever you see the number 69 and you're an internet person you want to be cool you want to be looked at by other people reading the comments like wow this person knows what they're doing right nice just right nice uh then trump tweeted in uh 2019 february something about the poll just announced the gallup poll just announced 69 of our great citizens expect their finances to improve next year, a 16 year high. And then he wrote nice. And people are like, not going to lie. This is your best tweet of all time. Like he, you did a good job because he wrote nice

after he did the statistic of 69%. I got to drink my LaCroix, lubricate my mouth. It's like, I've mentioned this before. I collect saliva while I talk. I don't know why that's what happens. My mouth gets dry, but sometimes I collect saliva. And I think it's weird how you have to like lubricate your mouth and drink something. I guess I'm washing it down. We're really getting to, we're going to talk about all things oral, all things related to the mouth, all things, lubrication and sex, sex. And, um, I dunno, it's episode 69. I'm trying something new, fucking whatever. Um, so there's the history. There's a little history. Now we got some tweets here okay i want to confirm what i said it's not delaware and new hampshire what

did i say it's new hampshire and vermont look like they're 69ing so please pull out your phone go to google maps look at delaware excuse me fuck me go to new hampshire and vermont if you need to know what the 69 position looks like my cancer sign or excuse me my sign is cancer in the zodiac sign which I don't know much about all I know is that it's sign like the symbol looks like six nine sideways it literally looks like two people 69ing and I that's pretty on brand for what I just claimed as a participant in the 69 second position and having great success it fits my I mean I'm a cancer that is my sign and I don't know it's a competitive sport to me you know play to win Okay. That's what I think about 69. Make it a competition. Okay.

Oh, let's see here. Apparently Ariana Grande's new song was all about 69ing. What's the name of that song? I don't know. Something about 34 plus 35 is the lyric in the song, which equals 69. People are reading between the lines and Ariana Grande is talking about 69ing all right um something I'm trying to read tweets about 69 there's always something about a football the football player everyone hates in school who chose the number 69 or everyone loves that person like in my in my high school it was Blake I'm not gonna say his last name but his name was Blake and he was number 69 and I could not have picked a better person to have that on his Jersey than Blake. He just like exuded that energy, that 69 energy. Cause he's like, he's a,

he was funny. You know, he was like, just anyways. Um, no, I did not 69 him for those wondering. I didn't have sex in high school. Now, you know, I haven't talked about my sex life at all until today pretty much, but, uh, I can confirm and tell everyone here that I did not lose my virginity virginity in high school in fact I'm still a virgin so I'm waiting for marriage I am Catholic and yes 69ing it doesn't count as sex you can't lose your virginity 69ing so technically I'm still a virgin is this triggering for actual virgins I don't know what to do right now I don't know if this is too much am I being too much right now sex is kind of fun to talk about I can understand why alex cooper is a successful podcast host with her caller daddy caller daddy because

it's kind of fun to talk about i can't wait to interview people and talk about sex and just be so like nonchalant about it like that here and there i'll pull uh i'll pull in some ex-boyfriends be like hey let's talk about what happened no i'm kidding i won't do that um i do want to talk about something i love and i can't wait to listen to the latest caller daddy episode because she she interviews um harry jowsey i think is his last name he's australian and i love hearing out of the horse's mouth like out of a guy's mouth about sex like i like their i like listening to their perspective and what they're into and they you know it's fun because i think when you talk to your girls about it it's like it's a different conversation than if you're talking to a guy

and i think it's more interesting so i'm probably gonna have male guests to talk about sex with and it's gonna be a good fucking time by the way great podcast if you're interested in sex if you like having sex other than call her daddy is the show where that I have podcast beef with apparently over a burrito and taco situation and that's a got to go back to I don't know what episode but you kind of go on a scavenger hunt to find it anyways it's called nappy and j n-a-p-p-i and j j-a-y two guys I think they're here in California and they do like sex topics from a guy's perspective and I see again I love that podcast because I'm hearing it from guys I'm like oh this is caller daddy but guys so anyways there's a little plug for them you're welcome um okay let's get

into the next topic before I do that I meant to tell you guys earlier that I'm back on routine I'm recording this not at 10 p.m like I did two nights ago and 6 p.m yesterday it's midday okay it's not early early like I wanted to do because look I had some loggers outside for the first four hours of my morning that I would want that I wanted to podcast I had loggers a lot a lot fucking I cannot say the I hate saying the l consonant fucking sucks to sound out logging logging I think it's because I have a guys not to call attention to my mouth again I know we're talking a lot about 60, 90 oral sex, but listen, my mouth is too big for my body. And so is my tongue. Okay. You just like, it's a thing. Okay. In fact, I had an orthodontist early on that

body shamed me for having, um, a large mouth. And he also shamed me because he said, just listening to you, I can tell you have an issue with your tongue because I had a tongue thrust when I was a child, I had a gap in my teeth and now I'm self-conscious of it. So if you're on YouTube right now please be kind to me in the comments and do not make fun of my large fucking mouth and my huge tongue my tongue isn't huge it fits me now but when I was younger I feel like it was too big I was too big for my britches my tongue was too big for my britches I don't know I can I can make it I can turn it into four leaf clover I can turn it into a taco I can flip it backwards I can turn it upside down tongues are like little snakes they're like little

snakes that have a mind of their own and God bless them, especially for 69 and God fucking bless them. Anyways, this morning I meant to tell you guys, I couldn't record this episode early because I had loggers walking these trees outside and I got really excited because one of them is blocking part of my view. And I texted the group chat, my family, and I'm like, look, I'm so excited. They're going to cut this tree down. I know that's traumatizing for environmentalists out there, but let's listen listen I got excited that this tree was going down because it was going to show like a good 20 feet of sunset view that I don't have right now it's like blocking half of my podcast window this tree is so I got all excited you know how to deal with the noise for four hours

and long story short I texted the group chat I said they just gave the tree a haircut the tree lives on I'm still looking at the tree they just trimmed it it looks better you can see there's like a little hole I can see through so I have a new view through the tree of the sky but I don't know um but yeah just a life update because I know I've been talking a lot about my late night podcasting. I'm back on the early morning routine. Um, all right. I was going to read stories. Now let's read stories about sex and 69ing and shit. So quickly here, here's like a short one. Um, I'm just on Buzzfeed. I don't know. I was on Reddit earlier. There's so many stories out there about 69ing. Ew, these are okay. I'm not queued up. I'm not queued up. Let's get the,

Let's get the background music while I fucking find the 69 story. 69 to this song, please, and get back to me. It'll probably help you. okay, so, I thought I was queued up, I thought I was queued up, I don't think I'm queued up, I can't, guys, I need an assistant, I'm hiring staff in five years, but this is what the assistant would do, they'd have all this shit queued up for me, I'm new at this, episode 69, I'm still new, um, like, this is, like, a stupid, like, I wouldn't be, like, this is, like, a dumb story, my girlfriend and i were 69ing when suddenly she farted big time on my face

i even felt the rush of air and it sounded like an earthquake fuck up okay suck it the fuck up that's what i have to say did you have siblings i remember how many my siblings and i would fart on each other's faces like twice a day in fact i could distinguish what my siblings ate by their farts. My face has been farted on more times than I have farted myself and I don't fart. So what's with girls and farting? Like we just don't. What is that? I don't know. Is that a, I don't like talking about this. I don't like, I mentioned bodily functions like burping and I'm, I'm not, I'm not insecure about it. But when I talk about farting, it's like a whole new I don't like talking about I don't know okay so yeah this it sounds like this

girl had a traumatizing experience when a guy or she so wait a girlfriend she farted on his face okay if I was the guy I'd be like get out of my room like get out girls don't fart I'm not okay with that also I said buck up I mean I think it's so awkward though like especially when you're first dating someone if stuff like that happens like it can be awkward but the best is when it's past that point and you don't give a fuck and I think that's that's where I want to get I I tweeted this or I wrote this or I saw this somewhere I know I wrote on a note I put it's on my Instagram highlights somewhere I said I just want to skip I've hit no I said I've hit dating burnout first date burnout I want to get to the point or I just want to skip to the point where we're comfy

slobs together just slobs that's the best because then you're just like zero inhibitions you don't give a fuck you're not trying to like I mean I don't like let myself go and never shave my legs I'm not one of those girlfriends absolutely not in fact I was facetiming my sister today I was reminiscing on because we were talking about self-care she's got the day off today because it's veterans day and she's like having a self-care day she's telling me she can do this like face peel all this shit and I was talking about my self-care journey and how when I'm a girlfriend it's like a full-time fucking job keeping up my like my shaving my waxing my lotioning my like bought everything is like it's never better like I'm ready for the big screen

type of shit and why am I saying this I forgot my train of thought why did I go down this topic fuck um but no that's what I was saying because the thing I wrote about I just want to get to that comfy place I want to get to that comfy place you just you know it's okay to have a little discrepancy a little um I mean farting on my face moment I don't know I just still think I'm sexist or whatever with that where I'm like girls can't do that to guys but guys can do it to girls and it's fine is that okay to say no I mean like anyways I need to move on I don't like talking about farting we just discovered that I haven't read this yet so let's just like go into it this might be cheesy this might be dumb again this is on buzzfeed so it's kind of like it's

kind of like we're watching pg-13 and there's a dry humping scene and it's not like that bad but it's they I don't know okay one night I was with a girl I just met we were both very nervous she was learning spanish and just when i was about to slide in her she said te quiero obviously she meant i want you but i guess she didn't realize that this actually means i love you te quiero there was no way around the embarrassing moment blank stares and awkward laughter and the more awkward staring yeah i just i basically that's the dry humping i just explained this is like the most lukewarm boring fucking pg-13 it's like rated that's rated g okay she said i love you in spanish and there's awkward eye contact put that in a g-rated disney movie

i'm not even i need to go to reddit fuck this okay so reddit.com let's put on the 69 summer of 69 song again for transition music gonna go to reddit to look at juicy 69 stories 69 horror stories preferably do you guys think man but neighbor is good at 69ing I know I haven't people watched and talked about him in a while but I do see him he has he's out with his dogs with his um girlfriend slash fiance I don't know they're out all the time um but uh Jesus I can't find guys I'm not queued up uh fucking they look happy they look like they're 69 a lot they also look like their height and torso length and all that shit looks like I am I need to turn off the song uh this is copyright at this point I think I don't know is

it copyright after one second I don't understand how playing music on podcasts works because I've listened to other podcasters play music or they'll play clips and shit and I'm like how is that okay do I have to sign something I'm in the industry I should know how it works and I don't and I don't pretend like I know okay that's one thing I don't I'm not trying to act like I'm the smartest like most informative or in um educated host I don't want to talk about I'm gonna drink my LaCroix my nervous drink because I just said something I feel embarrassed about saying I'm honest about my level of or my lack of intelligence when it comes to legal shit. Okay. I have a lawyer in the family. I have two lawyers in the family that I, uh,

console or consult with about it. Anyways. Okay. So history, I had this pulled up before the podcast and I closed the tab. I love it when I do that. And then I can't fucking find what I was happy wednesday episode 69 69 tips on reddit hey this might be valuable information for you guys um i already gave you the tip don't be a fucking quitter and scout someone scout out your partners don't settle for for anything less than you deserve okay do you want to others as you would want to do do you want to others as you would want someone to do unto you golden rule is all about 69ing with someone okay figure it the fuck out don't be a quitter don't settle for someone with a short torso and long legs when you have long legs and

short torso did i just say that are those the same anatomy you both you need to be uh just go look at new hampshire and vermont what are the states i said that are you 69ing all right reddit you guys like how unprepared i am unprepared on a wednesday history one more time search results 69 story boom this is all about takashi69 on reddit i don't want this shit all right i just took a little breather and i found it so the question on reddit is what's your best 69 story now this is the point of the podcast this is now when i would like people that are triggered um because they've had a bad 69 experience if you are perhaps a family member who's going to be disgusted by me saying these things publicly and reading these stories with

graphic adjectives and and words used about um oral sex mutual oral sex 69ing uh please um thank you for joining me today please go over to patreon.com slash tjms if you'd like to support the show please subscribe to my youtube channel and follow me on instagram and don't forget to leave a five-star review on this episode because i know you had fun i know you had fun up until this point i i know you had fun and if you keep listening you're gonna give me a one-star review so please leave now those are your instructions thank you for being here i really appreciate i really appreciate you and happy 1698 okay for those of you that like to that would like to stick around for the graphic content I'm gonna read word for word some of these reddit stories I

glazed over before the episode today because yes I I came slightly prepared I did a little peek at 69 uh talking uh points or whatever the fuck I say content ideas today so what I did read though makes me feel like it's a little too much for for the fam and the people that are going to be shocked by what I'm about to read so just gonna let you leave now all right let's get into it what's your best 69 story from reddit.com I'm fairly tall and most girls I hook up with are on the shorter side okay this is the 5'8 or 5'2 6'8 example I explained earlier so we're gonna hear it from the horse's mouth hurt my neck straining to get to their pussies I know I pretty I know I'm pretty dumb broken English here I know

it's a pretty thing a dumb thing to complain about because he's six eight he's tall he shouldn't be complaining about having issue 69 because he's already won the lottery being fucking tall but once in college I hooked up with a girl who was like six feet we had some normal oral and and we had some normal oral and sex and we were just hanging out her want to go again me uh yeah she swung her leg over my head and leaned down to suck me she was delicious and perfectly bald i like how it's okay that girls are balding but guys can't be bald or it's like bad for guys to be bald it's not bad for guys to be bald but um why am i trying to make an analogy between a man's head that's going bald and a woman's vagina that's fucking shaved and

shit i don't know where i why i went there sorry i'm getting sidetracked from the story we didn't 69 for long and it was super hot she could take me fully in her throat that way she slid up and rode me reverse cowgirl which looked better than it felt but it was still terrific okay he lost me with the word terrific I said that early on like episode two I'm like that's a word that's I kind of want to bring back that's so 1950s like who the fuck says terrific in conversation oh terrific terrific terrific probably like Silicon Valley nerds I feel like that's a word they would use that's I'm grateful for my Silicon Valley nerds okay grateful for you guys I got a glare on my my window right now this is not good for the YouTube

audience sorry episode 69 lighting issues there we go hi uh grateful for my silicon valley nerds not super stoked on the device the divide they're causing um in america with their algorithms that put everyone in echo chamber and i am getting really cranked off about this divide and how there is zero compromise between the two parties and i don't know what the fuck is going on but you guys need to figure it out up there okay uh please posting or please ditch the algorithm moving forward in 2021 and go back to showing us content that comes in real time instead of four days ago 21 hours ago four hours ago two minutes ago like I need to see what's coming in my timeline in real time from the people I follow I don't want to be suggested content okay I don't

want to be suggested content I know what I want to look at I follow people because I want to watch their content I don't want ads okay I'm against consumerism unless you're subscribing to my patreon and buying um my exclusive content anyways I'm right over terrific I said this guy ended this 69 uh story with the word terrific and I went off somehow I linked that to Silicon Valley nerds and yeah okay uh someone wrote on this reddit uh what's your 16 best 69 story some loser wrote i got my first real six string i bought it at the five and dime i played it till my fingers bled it was the summer of 69 i mean the creativity the lack of creativity with That, uh, reply just makes me want to, uh, go 69 someone and get my frustration out.

Next story. I don't know if I have the best story. All I know is that 69 is the one position that I can't hold out for long. I blow very quickly every time. So I always have to stop it. interesting someone said same used to happen to me got used to it over time I like that person you get used to it that's good that's a good um you kind of have to get there with sex like just buck up figure it out fucking suck it up literally suck it up and you got to get past the hump of it's awkward uncomfortable it's not as it's in your head you're like oh I'm just doing this because people 69 and then you're like, well, people also say it's overhyped. So I'm not having fun anymore. Okay. Don't listen to society and enjoy yourself. Okay. Figure it out to social.

It's a social construct. What is it called? When society, there's a, there's a fucking, uh, idea floating around in society about something and everyone has adopts the idea group think mentality. yeah i think there's negative uh there's negative uh group think mentality about 69ing okay episode 69 how to talk about 69ing get over it it's gonna be my favorite episode i'm gonna always remember yeah episode 69 we really talked about 69ing what other fucking podcast in fact i should go to the apple podcast app and type in 69 like i don't know if all the episodes of 69 will come up and how many people went hard like this and talked about like 69ing i don't even think call her daddy did it no shade to Alex or anything going on over there super supportive and I'm a big

fan but like did they talk I'm pretty sure maybe they did whatever um the response to that the person said they got used to it over time the response was I don't think I'll get used to it in that sense I don't really want to lol it's just super hot feeling her whole body on top of me and her pussy in my face grinding my mouth to make yourself feel good while sucking me off the same time it's all so good that it ends me in moments oh okay okay okay so um sounds like a an issue you need to talk you take up with your doctor okay um ends me in moments this person has an issue lasting longer than a few moments when he's 69ing is that positive though I feel like that could be positive um it's all perspective it's all

perception okay next next story who's having fun I love episode 69 I'm gonna take a drink my LaCroix toast cheers cheers to that I'm a dude and I briefly dated a woman who explained that she could only come by 69 and would squirt on me. Okay, the thing is 69 isn't so easy for me because it's hard for me to concentrate. I tried to be game but failed her miserably. I hope she found out. I hope she has found the man of her dreams to squirt on reliably. see it's all about uh finding the right partner scouting out the right person okay uh this is an example of someone who is self-aware he realizes that when he is 60 90

he has an issue concentrating so he could step away and uh i don't know how he would practice focusing i i don't know there's gonna be sex robots coming out here i mean they're already they're already in existence i don't know what this man needs to do to practice i obviously just have sex with people that practice this but my recommendation for concentration is uh helps to close your eyes sometimes to just like i don't know how to explain it i mean do you need to pop an adderall like i don't fucking know concentrate it's not that hard it's like go into take it seriously okay play to win okay it's a competition think of it as a competition think of 69ing as a sport and so instead of um instead of being a quitter and saying that you

have a hard time concentrating and you hope this woman finds the man of her dreams that she can score it on reliably um while she's 69ing uh instead of doing that go into it next time like it's a challenge you got to win game seven there's like so many games and championships game not i don't know there's like game six right some i don't know i don't know what sports i'm talking about is that basketball game seven shout out lakers woo i like how la is popping off or like california is with sports but fucking uh not with like dodgers and lakers winning shit but but the city itself is going to hell so I like that uh is that a juxtaposition or is that an oxymoron I don't know it's like an opposite I don't know like again I'm not gonna act like

I'm educating I know the right word right now I'm not even gonna google it I don't know the word figure it out Jacqueline figure it out Ozzy please if Ozzy knows who he is he's my Jamie he googles all the shit for me he's always 10 steps ahead please google that what's the word I was looking for there is that a juxtaposition I don't know okay so here's a another story on reddit about 69ing biggest jerk in our high school had it issued as his jersey for football we laughed at him all year long that's like the story I told earlier about that my friend Blake in high school who's number 69 this person they made fun of him for it it's not something you may like, everyone's kind of like on the same page. Like the person with

the Jersey number 69, it's kind of like the joke. It's kind of like the, you're like the, I don't know how to explain it. If I was a football player, like that's the number I would choose. I'm a cancer. It's my Zodiac sign. It's the symbol of my, uh, birth. It's a symbol of who I am. So I'd have to choose it. I'd be the quarterback. Cause you guys know this. I'm the quarterback of quarantine okay uh haven't left the house literally life update didn't go outside yesterday still haven't gone outside today okay uh taking my vitamin d it's all good but listen i'm the quarterback of quarantine i know number 69 is not a quarterback number but i would choose it and uh i would change the rules bend the rules for myself i don't know okay i'm embarrassed guys

like literally yesterday i had a like a i don't know did i update you guys yesterday on my day I work from home I don't have to go outside I do yoga inside because that's my exercise right now I podcast inside I don't know okay my windows open at night it feels like I'm camping it's really cold it's like 50 when I sleep now so I feel like I'm in the great outdoors in my bedroom it's the best I can do right now okay it's 2020 I got it's it's a wild it's it's the wild west out there right now literally I'm in California I'm on the coast it's the wild west happy hump day episode 69 next story we got my best 69 story is every single time I've 69 someone for the first time there's nothing more sexual to me and nothing more intimate I love making it last by pulling

away a bit every time either of us are about to come and I love finally letting go and burying my face into her pussy while I fill her mouth haven't done it for a while does it have his name here no it's it's anonymous best story of the day okay this person knows what they're doing he understands it's the most intimate thing you can do with a person, and he gets it done. He rises to the, he doesn't quit, okay? That's awesome. I love hearing success stories about that, about 69ing like that. Damn, okay. Who's horny? Is this making someone horny out there? I feel like it is, okay? I don't know what to do. I feel awkward. I hope to God family members aren't listening. I

told them to leave halfway in, and they're probably still here, and whatever. We're having fun. We're having fun. It's a whole new world. Jacqueline's talking about sex to the public. Let me share this whole new world with you. I guess nothing could last forever. Eventually Jacqueline is going to talk about sex on our podcast. Here we are. All right. That's a lyric from summer of 69 i guess nothing will last forever okay let's do one more story okay okay wait this is about terrorists we were surrounded by terrorists and we each had one clip left okay holy fuck this is so veterans day um or this this is like a okay oh my okay okay i gotta throw my notebook throw my notebook

okay let me set the fucking stage right now it's wednesday it's hump day this is episode 69 it is november 11th it's it's veterans day the last story i'm going to read about 69ing in response to the question on reddit what is your best 69 story is about like it's an it's a it's a topic i just tripped up there fuck it's about people shooting up terrorists okay this is so wild simulation right okay what just happened we were surrounded by terrorists and we each had one clip left this person writes back to back she said no stand up 69 i flipped her over and we 69 while spinning in circles and shooting behind each other

we ended up finishing right as we emptied our clips and those fucking terrorists were gone dead mission accomplished mission completed can we have can we all are you guys doing okay can you believe that just happened am I just weirdly shocked by that story how did it I don't recall reading this when I did my warm-up in the locker room before I started this episode and went through this um reddit thread I don't remember seeing this one I feel like the simulation just plopped this on my screen out of nowhere to fuck with me holy shit that's crazy so they 69'd we were surrounded by terrorists and we each had one clip left she said no stand up 69 I flipped her over and we were spinning in circles and

shooting behind each other so like let's visualize this there's okay okay okay I need like a diagram I need to use my fingers okay so here's two legs go on YouTube to watch my finger motions two people upright they're holding ar-15s i don't know what the gun is they're using but i'm just assuming ak-47 what are they fucking called shotguns i don't know there's a lot uzis what's a fucking uzi trying to think of a halo weapon i used to play halo now okay anyways uh fucking they're upright okay so they have guns in their hands and they're both upright okay so he says she I said back to back so they go back to back moving my two fingers back to back she said no stand up 69 so I flipped her over

I flipped her over and we were 69ing while spinning in circles and shooting behind each other so they've got their faces and each other's crotches I got the answer I got the solution I got my two I got my two I got my two animals here this is the solution for the diagram instead of using my fingers I got my got Frankie the horse and Patty the bear okay we're gonna try to think of it think about this using these two animals as a individual, facing each other, she's like, no, back to back, so they go back to back, and then I flipped her over, and we were spinning, okay, so now they're facing, they're 69ing, oh yeah, there we go, okay, showing the camera, is this inappropriate, am I gonna get fucking canceled

for showing how these two objects are 69ing to tell, I'm trying to give the video audience an idea of what this story is explaining okay they're holding imagine little um pistols in their hands or something and there's terrorists so there's terrorists around them they're surrounded by terrorists okay imagine this they're sucking she's they're sucking okay they're 69ing and they're simultaneously spinning in circles and shooting behind each other so they got their arm out they're sucking okay and then they're shooting and the terrorists around them are they're going down we ended up finishing right as we emptied our clips now the story ends there I actually don't have confirmation from this story on reddit that the terrorists were taken out fully and that

they were going to be okay because they emptied their clips when they both came and in my perfect world brain that's like it's a it's a it's a happy ending literally uh they came all the terrorists died it was fine but i really need a follow-up story to this because i'd like to know if they were fucked and one of the terrorists was still alive and they got they had no uh they had nothing left no ammo left and they are fucked that's a crazy story episode 69 that's a good that's a good way to end this um shit how did that happen how did i just read okay veterans day ended with that story how the fuck this is going down in history dude episode i just fuck it i can't believe it

all right that's the episode i don't know what else to say really uh thanks to all the veterans out there it's truly a deeply sincerely genuinely like like i was saying earlier i kind of got sad in the beginning because I know I just laughed about that situation of those of that reddit story where they were talking about shooting terrorists and like that that actually happens and you know our troops actually die and it's very graphic and disturbing and crazy and sad and scary and horrifying in fact I just like I personally know people that have told stories of combat and their experience with it and I listen to a lot of podcasts about it I've read about it I do like reading books on war

I don't know why like war history a lot it was one of my favorite subjects I've ever studied and um it fucks me up I'm a little bit uh yeah I'll be sad today I don't think this is a happy day and I don't think it's you know grateful for my freedom and thankful for the people that are fighting out there for it but or helped that I so that I can be free home of the free because of the brave as they say not all heroes wear capes okay not all angels have wings those are our troops for real um all right stick around if you're a patron i'm gonna end it there i don't want to drag this on that was a fun episode thanks for hanging out stick around for your if you're a patron for your shout out and i will talk to you

guys tomorrow for Thursday's podcast all right bye guys oh shit I'm choking on cacao nibs I just stopped the podcast to do my shout out and I ate some cacao nibs and I have to do my shout out and I choked I'm sorry um hi patrons of patreon.com slash tjms here's your shout out uh I selfishly needed a snack before I did this but thank you guys for your support without further ado we have Ricky Jensen, Trevor Garrett, Eagle One, and Ozzy Torres. All right, guys, there's your shout out. Love seeing your names. Hoping you're having a, oh God, it's getting worse. And I just, okay. So happy Wednesday. Hope you're having a great day. Happy hump day. Love you all. Thanks for your support. And I'll talk to you tomorrow for Thursday's podcast. All right. Bye guys.