The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 69+4- Sundaycast: Hi

Episode Date: November 15, 2020

Happy Sunday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

what's up guys it's episode 73 welcome back if you didn't understand that it's episode 73 welcome back to the show What's up, guys? It's Jacqueline. Happy Sunday. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! Let me turn on my music. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! Happy football to Sunday, everyone. Uh, how are you? Ah! Okay. How are you doing? I just had a cappuccino it's uh 1 14 p.m my Seahawks are playing at 1 25 and I'm gonna have them on mute in the background but right now I'm watching the Bucks play the Panthers they're

slamming them 40 they're slamming them they're crushing them 46 23 uh anyways Sunday's my my uh it's my holy day it's my football day I'm a true red-blooded American I guess I don't know I like watching it uh let's talk about my day real quick I haven't found the rat uh I cleaned up all the rat shit yesterday so that's a life update if you're new by the way if you're new I'm here seven days a week I do a podcast every day go ahead and subscribe to the podcast in the podcast app on uh apple apple podcast I need to simmer down Jacqueline the cappuccino is a little bit too much right now for the for the uh rhythm and the cadence of my voice and everything so moment of silence let's regroup subscribe to the podcast on the apple podcast app

and leave a review okay now you understand what I meant to say anyways I back to my rat story I cleaned I deep cleaned yesterday my entire apartment all the surfaces and everything so I cleaned up all the rat turds and I didn't go on a scavenger hunt to look for it because I got nervous to like lift up my couch because I'm pretty sure it ate the bait in the trap under my couch because the other ones haven't been touched and this thing hasn't been scurrying around at all so I think it's dead I think it's literally I'm on my couch right now I think it's under me okay do you want me to check it right guys okay I'm lift up my laptop we're gonna do this live let me get my iPhone um what's it called I'm getting my flashlight on my iPhone

hooked up this bitch might be under the couch this is like morbid and like dark but you know what there this little rat was cold it came inside okay i'm looking at the mousetrap okay wait i'm gonna lift my couch up this is like live action uh csi shit i'm looking for a dead body okay the bait is eaten I don't see a body guys I think this rat escaped my apartment somehow before I set the traps because I haven't heard it I haven't seen it anyways okay that was kind of fun so that's my life update uh clean apartment rat free apartment it's Sunday I woke up and my sister and I facetimed and uh I don't know it was good morning we talked it out I'm out of breath I just lifted up my couch for you guys let me take a

I need a water break where's my water boy okay um hold on my sister facetimed me this morning and it was so fun we were both like making coffee talking to each other but put me in a good mood and I basically had a self-care Sunday morning and you know shower did all the things and did my makeup real nice I took a bunch of pictures I was like I'm gonna celebrate myself today and do a little photo shoot in my apartment and I did that and I haven't taken like pictures of me in cute outfits or anything in so long because I basically wear sweats and oversized hoodies all day so it was kind of nice I was feeling myself and uh my boobs have definitely grown this year as well as everything else on my body but

I was kind of I was not mad about it and then I post on Instagram I'm like well it is it going to be illegal if I on my story I mean I was talking to you guys and I said is it illegal for me to post like pics with my tits out I don't know I don't really do things like that often so I don't know fuck it I'm feeling myself I'm celebrating who I am I've never been happier I've never been more confident. And anyways, so that was my morning, turn on the football, made some breakfast, a couple eggs, you know, fucking typical, same shit, different day, right? Who's eating eggs and avocado for breakfast every day like me? Shoot me a DM. So today's going to be a Christmas themed episode. I decided that I want to be in and out real quick. Clock in for

the podcast today. Clock out. Boom, boom. I don't want to be here rambling for an hour and a half. I want to do a Christmas themed episode and we're going to, we're going to use buzzfeed.com to dive into this. All right. So I know this is like a cheat code. If you're like, I don't know what to talk about. I'm just going to go do a Buzzfeed quiz, but Hey, I'll have fun. And so will you, because we're going to be talking about food right now, because this quiz is the food quiz that will reveal what Christmas treat you are. So let's do something, uh, here together. Um, I like talking about food. I know you guys like listening to me talk about food. You guys like, you like listening to me talk about warm and fuzzy things like the holidays and

Christmas time and family and hanging out by the campfire and watching football and getting cozy and wearing fuzzy socks and reminiscing about childhood. And I know you guys love that shit. So I'm going to bring it today and we're going to talk about breakfast to kick things off. First question of the quiz. I'm going to figure out what Christmas treat, treat, treat I am. Okay. Pick something for breakfast. Okay. I'm going to base this off of what I want in this moment as I'm watching football midday, just ate, drink a cappuccino, had a couple eggs. Like what do I want right now? Pancakes, avocado toast, French toast, or a bagel and cream cheese. what sounds super good right now

pancakes I gotta go pancakes avocado toast is like an everyday thing so french toast or pancakes fuck what sounds better right now pancakes sound really good okay grab a snack next question granola bar bag of chips are you guys bored by this quiz already I'm like wait Is this like for a five-year-old audience? All right, kids. Next question says, grab a snack. Okay, Charlie, do you want a granola bar, a bag of chips, a banana, or popcorn? Jesus Christ.

My fat ass wants the popcorn. So, but what do I want right now? Okay, I'm watching football on mute. What snack do I want right now? Bananas out. Granola bars out. Do I want chips or popcorn? I could fuck up some Doritos right now I'm gonna go chips it's time for lunch next question it is

time for lunch uh what do I feel right guys I'm just literally sitting here talking about food and shit this is the best podcast ever I love it somehow this is gonna relate to Christmas okay it's lunchtime what do you want pizza chicken nuggets a sandwich or pasta now I'm getting full I feel like I just like thought about eating what did I say I had chips um pancakes this is like weird to think that I'm I don't want to think about it as I'm sitting here watching football like what do I want to eat right now did that make any sense I don't want to think about it as too many words too many sentences Jacqueline pick a food we got pizza chicken nuggets a sandwich or pasta what do I want I want pizza it's Sunday I'm watching

football okay we'll get into more Christmas shit just hang in there okay with Jacqueline what do you want for dinner after all this fucking food do you want seafood pasta burger sushi or filet mignon oh I fucking fucking fucking I love filet what have I I don't know what I have oh sushi though fuck me up I'm gonna go sushi because I haven't had it in a while don't forget about a side dish fries brussels sprouts fresh salad or risotto honestly I'm just feeling like a salad at this point I just want a side salad yeah how about a dessert oh fuck me up guys this is my 600 pound podcast that's what this shit is this is a buzzfeed quiz somehow it's going to tell me what Christmas dessert I am based on my food choices so who the fuck knows how this algorithm

works but we're going to find out oh Jesus Christ what do I want for dessert ice cream a brownie sundae which is more ice cream salted caramel cheesecake or chocolate pudding i don't want any of it bitch i want some green i want some like peppermint tea to settle my stomach um i just want ice cream i'm simple okay so jesus christ i just got the most basic bitch christmas dessert as my uh like what i like the answer to the quiz is what's the result excuse me the score on the quiz i got is the most basic bitch christmas dessert ever i got a i'm a sugar cookie you're sweet and tend to stay on the quiet side but people love your company thanks buzzfeed thanks for um bringing the content to the table today for jacqueline's show because

she doesn't really know what to fucking talk about so they have a tap here on buzzfeed.com the latest on coronavirus. Let's not click that and get nervous because I don't know. I'm not nervous. How are you guys doing? What's up? Let's do another one. Take this quiz. This quiz will reveal your favorite part of Christmas. Okay. Why do you love Christmas? First question. the traditions the food spending time with family or I don't should I answer this like an asshole like a Grinch like a Scrooge just like why I don't like Christmas what's this is gonna reveal my favorite part of Christmas is this the worst episode ever I honestly feel like I need to fuck off of this buzzfeed.com and do something more fun uh like check my dms I don't like this I don't

like this quiz I don't like this episode I'm getting I'm literally closing the tab let's talk about football I got the Seahawks playing uh what week is it game is it week eight week week 10 shit okay I'm behind yeah I was watching the Bucks play the Panthers and that was I think it's almost over yeah um let me just mention what I want to do today let's get off the Christmas thing because look that was a fun little food quiz I don't know that was fun for me to do but let me just tell you something about my life lately lately uh yoga is my shit like I I was facetiming my sister this morning and I'm like Julia do not never let me stop doing yoga if I ever stop doing it if I'm ever like in the weight room lifting a ton of weights or doing other kinds of fitness like

yell at me be like no Jacqueline get on your mat because I realized that it's the perfect thing to balance me out because I'm like like my I'm a I don't know if I run hot what's the word I'm just like obnoxious all the time especially with the show and like I don't know I'm I have a lot of energy and I feel like the the yoga really balances that balances it out and I I like being calm I like working out in a calm way I guess more than an aggressive way right now and I just feel so strong and flexible and I was doing it last night and I'm like this is what life's all about I feel connected to myself. I feel like I'm really getting like my strength is getting so much better each day. I do the same. Well, I do there. I rotate three different classes. I watch YouTube

yoga classes and, um, I rotate them. But each time I do the, the hour, I feel like I'm getting a little bit more flexible, a little bit stronger, a little bit better at the posture. So I don't know it's my it's my new thing I've been consistent for two weeks at it um and I'm proud of that and I want to do it right now actually I want to quit this and go on the mat I just like messing around I find myself even when I'm watching tv and whatnot I'm just on my mat doing like a back bend or doing my splits or whatever and it's fun I feel like it's creative you can play with your body you can like figure out different things you didn't know you could do and the release you feel at the end of a class is like it's unlike anything else in fitness and I am I'm not gonna cold turkey quit

everything else I was doing I still like to go on runs I still like to live weights but for the time being it's uh it's it's yoga I love it um anyways oh Hawks are playing just kicked off let's see what's going on they're playing the Rams two teams I like honestly so this is gonna be interesting um I'm just like zoned in on it okay worst episode ever episode 73 listen thanks for being here today thanks for I don't know some days it's just like why did I decide to do it seven days a week and I kind of feel like today is sort of like that I I don't okay I don't write notes like I used to so this is going to be me checking my notes now because I'm going to refer to shit I haven't talked about. Oh, um, I was watching Whitney Cummings' podcast

a couple of days ago and she said something that I was like, damn, that's real. She's like, you're, so is this has to do with what I talked about? I think on Friday. Yeah. Today's Sunday. I talked about on Friday how my mom, well, I don't know. She's like, you're probably really she's saying how I'm like intimidating as fuck to other women or something like that and how I've always struggled with it she was talking to me and stuff and I don't know it was like kind of weird that she was commenting on it because I don't verbalize that or think it really I just like do my thing and you guys know me I'm kind of you know beat to my own drum living I live you know at my own place I don't have a huge social life here yet which is whatever but

Whitney said something on the podcast that was so real, like about like catty bitchy women and stuff when you're older, like how they kind of perceive you. Cause there's levels, there's people that are more reserved. There's people that are more out there. And I definitely fall into the more out there category. And she said this quote, I wrote it. Uh, she's like, no, you're a bitch. If you're intimidated by me, I'm not going to make myself smaller and dumb myself down so you can like me more and I thought about that like it makes sense where if you've got a problem with someone's energy and they're out there and they're obnoxious and they're confident and loud and that's and you're in some way intimidated by

that or insecure about yourself because of that it's like that makes that she's basically saying like I'm not gonna dumb myself down and make myself smaller which is what women do anyways in life like we're always trying to be like you know we're not trying to we're it's like the cliche women are told not to take up space and da da da okay whatever uh that's that's this is not that kind of podcast but it made it made me think about how I think in the past when I meet new girls and stuff I feel like I gotta hold back I gotta like keep myself like from acting like a psychopath at first and play a little smaller because I don't I want to like match their energy instead of showing up like this like fucking hi what's up like just normal me and not like

ditzy dumbed down small meek Jacqueline who's like just it's sad and so like not fully expressed so I thought about that I'm like that says a lot about people though if you can't make friends with like honestly I wrote this I tweeted this I don't know earlier this year I said not to call myself a weirdo I don't like when people label themselves like I'm quirky I'm a weirdo like it's kind of I think a lot of Gen Z kids on TikTok do that they're like no people talk about how quirky they are I don't know it's kind of like I just know that like I say I'm a little bit I don't know, I don't want to say crazy, but you, you know what I mean? You guys already know what I mean. I'm random. I'm loud. I'm obnoxious. I'm crazy. Sometimes I just got myself crazy,

but I wrote this. I said, people that are weird are just better at being themselves. And I wrote that because I thought about all the weird kids in high school that were outside live action, role-playing LARPing at lunchtime, running around acting like, uh, I don't know, samurai fighter people. What are they called? Ninjas and shit. And they were just totally comfortable with themselves and their passion for LARPing. They didn't give a fuck what people thought about them. And they came across weird to the, you know, like the normal, like popular type kids who were totally just conforming to all the social norms and trying to be liked and they weren't really like discovering they weren't really expressing

themselves they were trying to fit in okay these are another bunch of this is another bag of cliches but I don't know I wrote that and I thought about how now I'm embracing that part of myself where I'm like this is the most myself I can fucking be I don't know how else to say it or do it and I just want that for everyone I don't want to do the like I don't know ditzy dumbed down version of Jacqueline anymore it's so sad it makes me sad to think about about how many years of adulthood adulthood so far I was like just not saying it like it is not having fun on a microphone no I don't regret I didn't even plan on podcasting until literally two months ago I didn't even think about doing this it happened so randomly but I'm kind of pissed that I just

I had to learn it was a learning experience obviously and now I know I know better now I'm like I just want to go off okay so I don't know I just like talking having fun what can I say I'm gonna scroll down to like an old episode number and read my notes oh I mentioned how their scientists found sharks swimming in volcanoes okay I've already talked about that are people wheelbarrow I used to write so many notes are people wheelbarrow wheelbarrow wheelbarrow racing anymore Jesus Christ uh I was gonna tell Vegas stories on that episode I don't think I told Vegas stories oh I'll tell a Vegas story and I'll end the episode because whatever Sunday chit show

fucking whatever um I just swore too much on this episode too so at least I did the live mouse rat hunt, lifted up my couch for you guys in the beginning. At least that happened. I think that was kind of fun, but let me tell a Vegas story. So let me think. Okay. I think I'll tell the one where I went with my friends in college or the one where I went with my family. um okay my friends and I in college I think it was our the year I turned 21 we went to Vegas and this was the last time because this is relevant because of coronavirus and shit that was the last time I was sick sick like flu sick and it was terrible because my friend got there's three of us and one of my friends got sick at the very beginning she probably got it

when we were flying there and then my other friend got it and then the last day I got it and I don't know this is like actually a boring story because I didn't realize I was dragging them to the club the whole time because we were there for like oh I think a Wednesday through Sunday type of thing like you know half a week and their symptoms I didn't understand what they were going through but I was like dragging my friend across the strip going to the club because I wasn't sick yet and then when I got sick they were all talking about how their bodies ache so bad and they felt like a baseball bat was like hit all over them and shit and they couldn't like it hurt to walk the like the flu we had was so bad and um I finally got the last day and I was like oh my god

I feel so bad because I'm like guys like pony up let's go let's go out like put on your outfit put on your makeup like what the fuck and then one of one of the girls she just like slept for an entire day and I didn't get it and I feel like that's back when I was way more like selfish I guess and more like I don't know ignorant about people's feelings like I've always been nice and stuff but when I was there I was like guys we're in Vegas what the fuck like suck it up but I didn't understand how bad it was like fever chills body aches um because they kind of like looked fine they pulled it together but I don't know I literally made my friend walk the entire because she hadn't been to Vegas before I'm like okay let's walk the strip today let's go out I think

it walked literally the entire strip and it was it was horrible so there's a Vegas story um that's a boring one I could have told like you guys I could have been like yeah I was in the top floor of like some of the encore with Diplo and like I could have said something like that I don't know I'm not that type of chick I haven't done anything like wild in Vegas other than I guess like I don't know like staying out all night until like literally waking up or going to bed and like 8 a.m type of shit you know like I've done that but I don't have like a wild like I was in a penthouse with some cool person doing some crazy drugs or anything like I've never done something like that. It's basically been our family trips. Cause my family loves going to

Vegas. We always end up there. Like, I feel like it's a yearly thing. And then with like girls in college, but anyways. Okay. What am I going to do today? Let's okay. Football's on Seahawks are playing right now. I'm going to watch that. I am going to do yoga. I'm going to kind of tidy up I swear my apartment gets dirty in one day I'm like already staring at the floor like how did all these little fuzzy fuzz balls get all over the floor already I sweeped I mopped it everything yesterday one day goes by and I'm like this sucks um but I'm grateful at least I have a place to live you know episode 73 is coming to a close thanks for hanging out today I apologize I get it like you know Jacqueline bring it like bring it next time like do something more exciting but

let me reflect right now on where I'm at with the show so this is the final stretch before I go home for Thanksgiving so understand that how many I didn't calculate this on my calendar so I'm going home the 26th which is Thanksgiving so I have a basically you guys have me solo boring as fuck for another one almost two weeks so Sunday the whole week this week and then up until Thursday next week so I'll figure it out I feel like tomorrow for Monday I'm gonna have new goals new things for you know the podcast to talk about and I'll just I don't know make it you guys know I like go back to a fucking Friday's episode it was so lit some days are like that some days are like this but that's kind of where I'm at it's gonna be solo Jacqueline until I go home

and then it's gonna be oh yeah my you know sister my brother my cousins my aunts my mom my grandparents like everyone's gonna be jumping on the show it's gonna be super fun so just stay tuned um if you want to like i said go to like youtube if you want to watch friday's episode or old episodes that are more lit than this because i don't know okay love you guys uh stick around if you're a patreon you can go over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get a shout out and look at my exclusive Patreon content. So there's that. And then follow me on Instagram and leave a review on the podcast app. All right, guys, I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow for Monday's podcast. Have a great day. I hope all your teams that you love

won. I just assume everyone watches football because I don't know. I do. Isn't everyone like me? Isn't everyone out there like me and likes the shit I like? Is that what's going on? I don't know if you're watching this or if you're excuse me we're listening to this you probably relate to me in some way so whatever anyways love you guys talk to you tomorrow all right bye hey what's up my patrons of patreon.com slash tjms how's it going happy sunday time for your shout out uh okay so first off we have let's do it backwards ozzy uh shout out ozzy that was a great phone call last night. He's a patron member who gets a phone call with me. So that was fun. We did our phone call. Um, anyways, thanks for your support. I got Eagle one. Thanks for your support. Eagle

one. I really appreciate you. We have Trevor Garrett and finally we have Ricky Jensen. Ricky, thanks for your support. I really appreciate you. Thanks everyone. Uh, hope you liked today's episode. I hope it was worth it for you. I hope it's worth it for you to stay subscribed as a Patreon. Uh, I'll bring the heat tomorrow. Today was a lukewarm bullshit episode and that's okay. Okay. Being honest. I know you guys don't necessarily care that much, but I'll bring it tomorrow. Okay. All right. I love you guys. Okay. Bye.