The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 75- Sexy Teacher Tuesday: Habits

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

It's Teacher Tuesday! Today I talk about how tiny changes create remarkable results from the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Have a great day!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic 

Hey guys, happy Tuesday. Welcome back to the show. It's episode 75. What's up, guys? It's Jacqueline. Happy Tuesday. All right. Let me just tell you how it is right now, all right? Cut the music. Jacqueline got five hours of sleep, and we're going to make this the first rendition, first episode of Teacher Tuesday I'm wearing my sexy teacher glasses right now go to YouTube to watch I'm here Monday through Friday on YouTube uh I just feel like teaching you guys some shit and because I need I'm trying to learn about myself doing the show every day and I think it's time it's time I educate instead of just entertain I got it what is what do people say you got to entertain you got to educate well

I've been slack on the education it's been a bunch of nonsense a bunch of ranting and you know useless information for you guys the last 75 74 episodes excuse me uh well you guys tell me go leave me a review let me know go over to the apple podcast out leave leave me a review have you learned anything from this show because today feels like the first day I'm bringing the education component and we're gonna go through habits because I'm building a habit right now this is my 75th day in a row doing this show. And I want to talk to you guys about habits. And I'm going to do a lot of reading today. I have my 2020 vision, no lens glasses on to help me read my screen. So stay tuned for, I don't know, just some calm sentences that are well put together

because I'm going to be reading notes from the book Atomic Habits, some direct quotes, and then I'm gonna go into some things so I mean real quick let's do the life updates uh basically I went finally went to the antique store I've been wanting to go to for a long time and I bought a nude painting of it was like a French painting with little angels flying around it was like a something you'd see in the Sistine Chapel Chapel dude I'm not from Michigan why did I make my a sound like that chapel uh it looks very it looks like it belongs yeah the Sistine Chapel in Rome or something but I put that I installed it behind my toilet so when you go pee if your guy because a girl is not going to see it when she's sitting but a girl a guy standing peeing in my toilet has

to stare at this naked painting and it's it's cool because I was I was looking for specific things at the antique store yesterday I need a new couch because the one I wanted to order that was going to come in January I went to the I went to confirm how like the size of it because I was ordering online and it's way too big so I don't know I'm looking for a new couch I'm looking for paintings shit to put on my walls it was a great time I walked around there in silence for two hours didn't bring my phone in left it in the car and basically this antique store is the size of Costco and it's like five minutes away from me in San Diego and I I enjoyed myself then I went to the grocery store picked up a few things and you know anyways came home did yoga I want to get

into the the topic today the teacher topic but I need to update you guys what else um I don't know I did yoga yeah yoga watched a podcast on YouTube I watched bad friends then I finished an episode of the Rogan show and oh fuck okay the reason I got five hours of sleep is because I stayed up on TikTok until 1.30. And yeah, my good news is let's just have a standing ovation for this right now. Everybody off your seats, start clapping your hands. Jacqueline's got a great, her circadian rhythm works because I naturally woke up at my naturally waking up time, even though I went to bed late at 6 a.m. So regardless of how late I stay up, my body knows when to wake up and that's positive so thanks for the applause thanks for um you know clapping me up I've heard

about that like it doesn't matter how late you go to bed always wake up at the same time helps your body there I just taught you something never change the time you wake up changing the time you go to bed is okay but the time you wake up is key anyways uh let's just get into this let me check I have I do have a few notes on my phone that I wrote I wrote a lot a lot of the topics I had for today were like typical Jacqueline show random thoughts and ideas but um let's see here why are stars in the same place I asked myself last night at 1 a.m guys I was high as fuck let me just tell you this my brother got published he's my musician my he's the show he's my music guy he made my intro music but he got published in a like an article written up about him and his

music and he mentioned how smoking weed helps his creative process so in the group chat yesterday he said Robert tonight because I haven't smoked in a while and I said in honor of this I'm going to get high as fuck tonight and just like yeah be creative and so of course I'm watching TikTok late asking myself questions writing on my phone note why are the stars in the same place i always thought that like when you look up the big dipper it's always in the same spot like obviously it rotates based on where we're at i don't know is the earth flat what's happening that always makes me go what the fuck because explain that to me when the milk you know excuse me our solar system so we revolve around the sun we're spinning at 67 miles 67 000 miles per hour

as we're rotating around the sun like 500,000 miles an hour or whatever and the sun in our in all the planets with us what are we called the solar system we're in I don't know we're going around the milky way so why are the stars always the same someone answer that send me a dm I'm confused or just write it in the review section of the podcast app guys literally I'm teach it's teacher Tuesday I'm wearing my glasses your homework again today is to leave a review on this app on the on this excuse me on the show on the podcast app so go let me know about the stars in the universe that's all I really have let's see what else on my notes um oh ladies I learned this last night so when you're struggling to open a pickle jar

which is what I'm drinking my iced coffee out of right now guys this is gonna change your life girls excuse me I'm speaking if you're a man if you're a guy keep scrolling that's a tiktok uh phrase keep scrolling this is for the ladies only take a knife don't take a little steak knife take your vegetable chopping knife and walk up to the pickle jar when you're struggling to open it and stab the top of it really hard with the knife and commit to it because you don't want to fuck around you don't want to be a little weak bitch about it you got to stab it and that will release the pressure or whatever the fuck that's keeping that lid on so tight and it'll maybe you'll just unscrew it like in two seconds you don't need no man

you don't need no grippy thing you buy on Amazon to open jars no stab it with a knife and yeah apparently there's I don't know so I learned that um oh my god I just taught you something guys we're not even getting into the habit section I just taught you like two things so that's all I got let's get into it oh fuck okay I gotta tell you guys one more thing another a homework assignment I did I just okay I'm so tired I'm over caffeinating right now I'm so tired I just delayed my reaction to myself that I burped like I did it and then like five seconds later I just I'm like fuck why did I why did I why do I make noises why am I gross I'm like the I'm like the sexiest most I smell so good today I'm wearing my Chanel chance guys I'm not gross

I shower twice a day I'm clean so don't get it twisted but I'm also I also sometimes let out a little air bubble okay so go to Instagram this is your homework assignment and go to what about bunny it's all there's like what underscore about underscore bunny it's this dog who's a conversationalist just like me who's learning how to speak English or learning how to communicate with her um parents this is a dog over in Seattle I think it's a poodle I don't know actually don't know what kind of dog it is but it presses these little buttons and it communicates with its owners and it's the most I I feel like when I watch these videos I almost want to cry I'm like this dog under like it can say I love you I want to get scratches they call them scritches scritches

right now I want to go outside I need to pee it taps the buttons and it knows what the fuck's happened like it knows what the words mean so go over to what underscore about underscore bunny on Instagram and if you are if you're having a bad day I swear to god this always makes me feel so good even though I haven't had any bad days for the last 75 days because I podcast every day and podcasting makes me happy so uh just being honest I've never been this my happiness levels have been so sustained also medication but let's forget about that it's literally because i'm doing my hobby my passion and i feel fulfilled so but if you're having a bad day go to what about bunny on instagram watch this dog press buttons it's so cute it is so cool and it like sometimes it's like

an what is that apodextrous ambidextrous it uses like both paws and it doesn't it'll look the dog will literally walk over these buttons it's like a mat like think of a a doormat but it has a lot of these it has these easy like staples easy buttons all over the pad and it'll just walk on and won't even look down just kind of knows where it's at it's so insane so there you go let's get into the atomic habit section James Clear wrote this book changed my life so let's uh I want to teach you guys some shit because like I said I'm building a habit podcasting habit and this is some of the most like solid helpful life advice I think I've ever read and I like you need to know about it I don't know if you've read this book before if you have this is a

refresh let's just get it let's just get into it deep dive and I'm going to start reading sentences so in three excuse me in three sentences here's the book an atomic habit is a regular practice or routine that is not only small and easy to do but is also the source of incredible power a component of the system of compound growth number two bad habits repeat themselves again and again because you don't want to change but because you have the wrong system for change number three changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you're willing to stick with them for years so there's a book in three sentences the last one number three speaks to me because it seems like well it doesn't seem like a

small change I'm literally I'm blasting through seven episodes a week right now but um it seems well I feel small I feel like a I'm like this meek little I'm I just sit in my apartment by myself and talk to myself all day and it seems like I know you guys like the show you guys are it's growing but I don't right now it's about building the habit and it says here number three that will come this will compound into remarkable results if you're willing to stick with it for years and which I've already told you guys this is my 30-year plan I'm not going anywhere it's definitely my dream career and let's cheers to that drink your coffee I'm drinking a a local roastery today should I turn on the jazz music while I say this

where's my music damn it hey I'm drinking from a local coffee roaster here god damn I love life I just love jazz music that's Dave Cause he's a great great guy so let's get into the rest of it so we're gonna go chapter by chapter and I'm gonna just give you some of the big ideas about the book as I go through and then as I read I'm gonna pause and reflect on how I'm applying these ideas to my life and maybe that will help you guys think about your life so bear with me like I said teacher Tuesday episode one I've never done this before, so let's have fun. I'll try to put my spin on it, my little twist,

so it's not like you're listening to Lex Friedman and just monotone talk, which I love to fall asleep to. Sometimes I watch his podcast late at night. Like, okay, this is so weird. I've talked about Lex Friedman before, but I love the way he talks. Like, the sound of his voice is very soothing, but I feel like I don't want to do that to you guys today. I don't want to be like soothing I want to be kind of fun still I want to keep my I want to keep my uh my brand I want to fucking Jacqueline figure it out I want this to stay on brand okay so you guys are tuning in for a certain reason I don't want to give you Lex Friedman it's like hello tonight we're going to learn about atomic habits and how habits can change your life honestly shout out Lex Friedman

for real though because I've learned so much from his podcast and uh yeah I appreciate that guy so here we go the book in five ideas the five ideas of the book are this habits are the compound interest of self-improvement number two if you want better results then forget about setting goals focus on your system instead number three the most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve but who you wish to become number four the four laws of behavior change are a simple set of rules we can use to build better habits these four rules are number one

make it obvious number two make it attractive number three make it easy and number four make it satisfying those are the simple set of rules

to use to build better habits and the last big idea number five is environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior. I'm talking slow. I've never talked this slow. This is fun. I kind of like that. I'm just reading and it's like Teacher Tuesday, Jacqueline's a librarian, sexy librarian. I'm wearing my glasses, go to YouTube to watch. So I'm big on environment. Let's go to number five

here because that spoke to me. Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior. and I know myself and I've I'm a highly I don't know if I'm highly sensitive I don't like to label myself and say shit like that but I've always said like your environment is everything if I I've literally moved to this location I live in because of the environment this specific apartment I chose was because of the environment how I felt in it and this is talking more about your environment like your family your friends the people around you in your life that are shaping and molding you um obviously that's the point of that but i also think a physical environment um that helps it'll help shape your human behavior because look i wasn't dealing well

with living in eastern washington in the snow which it would be around for three months i'd have to walk to work in the snow and i it made me depressed and even going home home to washington most most of the time i'm already anticipating this when i go home for a month the dark clouds and the constant rain that environment it doesn't make me like excited and inspired to do stuff I and that's what I learned about myself by I guess when I traveled and go I went to hotter places like California I was like oh I'm energized by this environment so that's why I'm here but uh anyways let's let's move on I just wanted to comment on that because environment is all so I always say, don't ask yourself, what do you want to be when you grow up? I know we're all asking

ourselves that question still. Like you're going to ask that until you're, my grandma talks about it. She's like, I never really figured out like what I want to do. Like, what do I want to be when I grow up? And I've mentioned this so many times. Don't ask yourself, what do you want to be when you grow up? Ask yourself, how do you want to live? Because when you wake up and live your life like how what like how you do that is so important and so impactful on your like psyche if you're happy or not if you're you know it's the cliche you know working I don't know in a high rise in New York City but you're living in a cracker barrel excuse me a cracker box apartment with four other dudes and you're working 12 hours a day yeah you're making good money but you're

how do you how you live sucks so factor that in when you make life choices how are you living what is your lifestyle I'm lifestyle first I'm quality of life first everything else fall falls after that as long as that and and I'm willing to suck it up sometimes okay I understand that not everyone can make they can't like live in their dream city in the sunshine and palm trees um in fact I don't even know how I made that happen for myself sometimes I'm like I still look around and pinch myself like how the I live in this beautiful place this beautiful city like how did I do this and I don't know it's it's just interesting but always always ask yourself how you want to live build your create your lifestyle create your um I don't know okay so

I need some more coffee let's drink um oh I got a cute husky outside someone walking their dog sorry to get off topic but about to dry up again and read sentences so here we go chapter one the surprising power of tiny habits these are some quotes from this first chapter so first off success is the date excuse me success is the product of daily habits not once-in-a-lifetime transformations You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results. Process, system, and goal is more important than where you're at today. Goals are about the results you want to achieve.

systems are about the process that leads to the results that kind of goes with what i just said breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions which build up the potential required to unleash a major change that just spoke to me hugely huge hugely hugely why do we pronounce the h with a y donald trump i don't understand there's a lot people that do that. Huge, huge. Someone leave a review today on the Apple podcast app. Let me know why some people pronounce the H with a Y sound. Huge, huge. So the breakthrough moment I had recently was about my life and my overthinking and the paralysis that comes with that where instead of taking action and just doing something that I want to do I sit I think about it I process

it I get a little nervous about how hard it's going to be to accomplish and then I'd never do it I fail to start or I fail to like move the needle forward in my life I've always said I feel like I'm half pregnant on 10 things I'm not actually pregnant but I felt like I had 10 different things I was interested in and every couple three months or so I'd be tap dancing with this one and tap dancing with that one and bouncing around and I never committed where the breakthrough I had recently is this Jacqueline you have a job you love that's your thing Jacqueline you have a hobby you have a creative creative outlet you love that's my podcast and Jacqueline you have a form of exercise that contributes to your that helps your mental health and your physical body

which is yoga I'm like those are my three life decisions and I know it's I've been wishy-washy and the reason why I'm sticking to these things is because I feel it's building my self-esteem and self-worth when I'm like oh I'm get I'm building skills I'm getting better and better at these specific things instead of feeling like shit about not being able to pick one and I read the one thing that book the one thing you know I think it's sitting up there who I can't read who wrote it but got a bookshelf in front of me go to YouTube to see the bookshelf in front of me that you actually can't see because it's behind the camera anyways and that really that book spoke to me and I kind of it was like intimidating it was like how do I just pick

one thing and it's crazy I read that two years ago and here I am going I'm a podcast host and I my other one thing is yoga my other one thing is my job because I don't know I feel inspired by myself right now. I feel like every decision I've been making lately is proving that decisiveness makes you so happy. And if you're out there, if you're someone who's, I'm a perfectionist, typical, like, you know, type a loveless making love, high achieving, love all that shit uh that ain't cute girl that ain't cute guy I swear to god it's held me back that was the breakthrough going back to the quote I read here from chapter one that's the breakthrough I had that that's not it's I it's idealistic it's it's like fun to envision the end result it's fun to

think about things and and dream big but you're not executing on that mission if you're getting discombobulated every day with all these new things you want to be perfect at, and anyways, so there's some notes from chapter one, let's, let's move forward, let's go into chapter two, how your habits shape your identity, and vice versa, now we're talking about identity, Jacqueline had an identity crisis, excuse me, I was stripped of, I felt like I was soul stripped and my identity was gone when I quit my job a couple years ago it's hard to I haven't really gone into that ever but it's the type of thing where I was psychologically like confused about myself and I walked out into the world the day I quit and I'm like I don't even

know who I am so we're fine we're finding her again we're finding her building that shaping the identity with my habits uh so here's a quote here changing our habits is challenging for two reasons we try to change the wrong thing and number two we try to change your habits in the wrong way ok there are three layers of behavior change a change in your outcomes a change in your processes and or a change in your identity So, if you want to change your behavior, you have to change your thinking about the outcome. You have to change the process.

Or you have to fully go Black Mamba, fucking, what does Beyonce call herself? Her alter ego, Sasha Fierce, is that it? You got to change your identity. You've got to do some sort of identity shift, like a mental one. Here we go. Outcomes are about what you get. Processes are about what you do. Identity is about what you believe.

So I kind of got that wrong. Identity is about what you believe. well that could that could have to do with how what you believe yourself to be what kind of like if you're if you have a low self-esteem if you start to believe and and have a positive affirmation every day that i'm a bad bitch that'll help change your identity if you just repeat repeat repeat repeat ask yourself who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want okay

it's a simple two-step process decide the step fuck it's a simple two-step process decide the type of person you want to be number two prove it to yourself with small wins okay um the real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results but because they can change your beliefs about yourself yeah fuck yeah okay so that spoke to me let's go into it i've i've struggled the whole reason this book is getting the quotes from it are getting read today is because jacqueline got five hours of sleep i just want to reach it i want to bring

you guys, I want to bring you some value today as a content creators out there. Say, I want to try to bring my audience value, share this with someone. If you got, if you got value out of this today, you learn something and I share this with someone screenshot this episode and share it with your followers. That's what I got to say as a content creator now. But, um, no, I, I totally understand what this means now after doing a 75 days in a row, because the habit I've created has completely changed the beliefs about myself it's built my self-esteem my self-worth guys I was fucking felt like a worthless piece of shit depressed sad in the beginning of 2020 um isolation fucking lost my job having no clear direction with my life and

after committing to this process and doing it every day I feel like I'm a shit dude I'm a shit. It's good to feel like you're the shit. Cause I wasn't feeling like the shit earlier this year. And this new habit helped me finally feel that way. So I don't know if there's something we said about doing something every single day, not being a little bitch about it, not saying, Oh, I'm going to do a podcast once a week. Fuck that bitch. No, I'm kidding. That's probably better for your mental health. I'm kidding. That's a bad example, but you know, picking like meditating every day or whatever it is there's something we said about going to bed every night put your head on the pillow and feeling good about yourself because you got that done and that thing

is making you feel like a more confident person it's making you like yourself more it's making you and I've I'm like shit I'm I'm like how many minutes can I get this like literally this time my brain works. I'm like, okay, 75 episodes. I want to get to the point where you're scrolling on the Apple podcast app for six minutes because I have so many fucking episodes. That's my goal. Someone asked me in the DMs, what's your goal with the podcast? I'm like, I should have told them that. Once I hit that point, I feel like that's going to be about 4,000 episodes. You're just sitting there and scrolling for six minutes. that's where I want to get that's where that's the landing on the moon moon for me how long but

that so this habit I'm doing this daily routine is making me feel good about myself okay so chapter three let's get into it I'm gonna drink some more coffee how are you guys doing happy Tuesday sexy teacher Jacqueline checking in oh that's great glad to hear oh I'm sorry that okay that was awkward you guys that was Dora the Explorer shit like like when Dora the Explorer would ask the audience something and then there's an awkward delay like like in uh the news when someone's like back to you John or whatever she did that and it's always awkward I just put you through that you're supposed to respond when

I wasn't talking. Okay. Chapter three. How, what the fuck? Jacqueline, I told you I was going to put my spin on it. I told you I was going to not make this boring. I just had fun. Okay. So chapter three, how to build better habits in four simple steps. I love a step-by-step program, man. Okay. Let's get into it. Whenever you want to change your behavior, ask yourself, how can I make it obvious. How can I make it attractive? How can I make it easy? And how can I make it satisfying? A habit is a behavior that has been repeated enough times to become automatic. Any habit can be broken down into a feedback loop that involves four steps. Cue, craving, response and reward the four laws of behavior change are a simple set of rules we can use to

build better habits I'm just repeating myself sorry this is like the same thing make it obvious make it attractive make it easy make it satisfying this this chapter is short and sweet okay I made it obvious hey fuckers I'm doing this seven days a week it's in my bio it says I do a podcast 365 days a year how can i make it attractive bitch i'm the face of the show i'm the voice done check check how can i make it easy oh i know i know jacqueline press record and talk you already do that anyways just do it and post it that's easy as fuck and it's one take I don't edit this shit easy I made it easy check how can I make it satisfying how do I explain this why is this satisfying because I'm listening to my soul

speak I'm listening to my truths come out I feel like I'm connected to myself when I speak on the show every day that's satisfying as fuck that is literally what I want to preach and promote to everyone out there talk to yourself be in the shower and talk to yourself be in the car and talk to yourself be in the kitchen like I was I found myself like I'm singing out loud like to making noises I never did before like while I'm cooking dinner no phone no podcast playing no music I'm literally just like singing songs uh what's like a song I could sing right now I'm just the guy with the girl everybody wants to know wishing you were there alone wondering how everybody so yeah is that a Blake Shelton I think so yeah just like it's satisfying

this habit is because this is how I've gotten close to myself because here's the thing I will say this I preach community friendship connection is everything for mental health and feeling good but this is a totally different experience than that because it's a one-sided conversation I'm having it with myself and I'm being 100% honest I'm not in a group of people right now to bounce ideas off of and kind of curate anything and how they're perceiving me and what I'm saying like because I can't do that when I'm by myself I can't like if does that make sense it's a whole different experience and yeah anyways let's get into uh chapter four the man who didn't look right what's the title

just need to do a little water break real quick my uh mouth is getting dry talking so much reading out loud is kind of hard to be honest okay chapter four the man who didn't look right okay if you're having trouble determining how to rate a particular habit ask yourself does this behavior help me become the type of person i wish to be does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity. With enough practice, your brain will pick up on the cues that predict certain outcomes without consciously thinking about it. The process of behavior change always starts with awareness.

You need to be aware of your habits before you can change them. That's good. Okay, so that spoke to me. I got real honest with myself. I have a where's my I have a notebook that has dolphins all over it so after I had a little mini intervention my family came in visiting me for my birthday this summer for a week my mom and my sister and they set me up for success because they bitched me out Jacqueline get your shit together come on what the you you're you are not doing like you need help and that was healthy because that they are they're so honest with me I knew it about myself

that they could see it it was a beautiful moment literally we have never screamed so passionately and loud at each other it was it was great it felt so good I love like I love yelling with my family we used to do that we'd have bitch sessions where we'd be like screaming at the top of our lungs we'd always sit around our couches in our living room and go off just like let's have a coming to Jesus moment sit down let's work this out someone ends up crying someone ends up screaming but it's amazing because after it if everyone blows up and leaves the room because sometimes that would happen like you know my brother would storm out and leave or whatever by the end of the day we're all hugging and kissing like I know and we love each other it's all good um so what was I just

saying oh the awareness so after that I wrote my notebook my dolphin notebook when they left like every day I was journaling, journal, journaling a lot. And I was just telling myself in writing, like writing it in front of my eyeballs, my bad habits and all the shit I need to nip in the ass. And I put everything out on paper. And that was the diary before I went audio with my diary, which is this show. I would write, I always write, but now I'm telling you guys my shit um I love notebooks I just love writing I don't know what it is but um fucking that awareness was good for me just seeing it and being like just can't hide can't hide from my problems anymore my family just yelled at me I'm start you know I started yelling at myself

and then it's like therapy happening she's telling me shit I'm like okay let's do this I'm aware now and uh i needed that before i was able to going back to the quote the process of behavior change starts with awareness you need to be aware of your habits before you can change them so rat it out bitch um okay so chapter five let's just move forward the best way to start a new habit many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity that just spoke to me i'm crystal clear about what i want with this show seven days a week that's it that's all my brain sees seven days a week that's the habit i want to get in with it simple there's

nothing that sentence is done i podcast seven days a week period i don't need to over complicate it overthink it over analyze it that's clear as fuck and i understand that i don't sleep before i do i don't go to bed without posting a podcast that's it so we're going to talk about habit stacking next I learned this so one of the best ways ways to build a new habit is to identify identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack your new behavior on top this is called habit stacking. So how do I explain this? So the habit stacking formula is after this current habit I'm doing, I'm going to do this new habit. So let's make a stupid example that makes sense to you guys right now. The simple, simple thing to understand. So, okay. I was going to do something

sexual and say something. No, I won't do that. I was going to talk about like when you're having sex after I do this position, I'm going to switch to this position after I go down. Okay. Um, so jacqueline after you're done cooking i will so jacqueline after jacqueline finishes cooking jacqueline will clean her dishes or whatever like you just put you stack something after so whatever the new habit you want to do is put it right behind something that you already do so i don't fuck i'm trying to think there's so many good examples i could give you right now but my brain is fried i got five five hours of sleep but i blame tiktok so like i'm trying to think oh fuck what do people suck at they want

to get better oh let's talk about social media addiction okay so like after after one hour of social media i don't go on social media for an hour flip-flop i don't okay that sucked I don't know you guys know what it means so habit stacking is a strategy you can use to pair a new habit with a current habit okay obviously just explain that okay chapter six let's move on does that make sense was that clear are you guys do I make myself clear class moment of silence moment of pause for you to respond all right does that make sense don't overcomplicate it and like build habits like slowly and methodically just like jocelyn do your dishes after you're done cooking or whatever the fuck which i struggle to

do sometimes i'm like okay i just want to do this like i woke up this morning life update woke up this morning i'm like i gotta get this ground beef stuck or stuck ground beef all over the bottom of my pan from yesterday I gotta scrub it off this morning fuck that sucked if I was self-disciplined if I had this habit built where I just did it automatically because it's all about autonomy that's what this podcast has become it's you know as much as I complain about how tired I am right now my body is just going through the motions I'm like okay plugging my light in plugging this in pulling up my garage band pulling up all it just like happened it's cool how that that works now where I mean you guys I do take you behind the scenes on my Instagram live sometimes and

show you my editing and uploading process which is like under 30 minutes with video and everything I just it's so fast and it's like crazy how in the beginning there were so many hiccups but now it's efficient okay dumb example right now but I have this new barista coffee maker from Breville it's called the Barista Express best to be honest I feel like I'm working at a coffee shop every morning it's fucking magical but when I first got it I was clunky I didn't understand it's been a couple weeks now where when I was grinding the beans in the little portafilter I kept spilling it everywhere I kept like getting those little grounds all over my counter and I finally figured out a system where I like tap it on the counter a little bit stick it back

in tap it smash it down like I I'm so efficient with my um bean grinding for my coffee which I need to take another sip of because I I just I'll fucking love coffee whenever I talk about I get FOMO like I need to be hanging out with it in my mouth iced coffee for president 2024 four so anyways there's an example of um i guess autonomy where you just get better and better like yoga great example getting better at my splits okay moving on chapter six you guys are gonna like this because i've bitched about it before and this is what i preach okay not to be a prophet preacher but here i am motivation is overrated environment often matters more yeah where's my notebook wrote this show on youtube because i gotta prove it i'm not a

bullshitter i i wrote i don't know anything about motivation showing youtube i said i don't know anything about motivation i was born driven wrote that in 2017 i don't know anything about motivation. I was born driven. Environment often, often matters more. And I say that, how do you want to live? What's your environment? Who are you surrounding yourself with? That matters so much more. In fact, look, when I was working in a startup company, I recognized early you that you can solve a thousand steps of building a business by surrounding yourself with people that have built businesses if you just get 10 entrepreneurs around you or whatever the fuck and you become friends with them you ask them questions you do you know you

use them as mentors that's going to eliminate a thousand steps you trying to figure it out yourself. So I mentioned physical environment, how you live is important, but people are so important. And I, I'm not really, okay. In a weird way, I'm doing that right now with watching so many, well, not really. Cause everyone's got their own flavor in the podcast world, but I don't really have mentors like podcast mentors at all. I have nobody. I'm a, I'm a soul. I'm dude, this is my show. This is all I do. But I, I like watch, like, I knew that it's fun to put cute shit all over your set for the YouTube podcast. So when people are like, I'm sick of looking at this bitch, I'm going to look at her little, um, salt and pepper shaker named Patty,

Patty the bear, or Hey, I've got Bob the snowman in the background or Hey, I got Frankie the horse or, you know, it's fun. Like I've, I recognize that wasn't like someone mentoring me saying, hey jacqueline make your set fun i just observed it and i noticed that and so now i'm doing it but um whatever you want to do go find someone who's also doing it and befriend them or do dm people just ask questions who gives a fuck what's the worst what's the worst gonna happen they're gonna say no oh that sucks i was trying to explain that to my mom yesterday she um I don't want to like this is not a negative thing but I think everything's you know generational or one generation does it this way the next generation does that way it's always like

a response to the previous generation and I guess she's grown up with a lot of or been in an environment that makes her feel shameful if she's not able to like I don't know be like she I can I even talk about family is this gonna get me family I love you this is my observation as a millennial generation student of the world I recognize that a lot of the behaviors I've witnessed I guess my mom I'll just say her but her maybe her generation is like trying to please their parents and make their parents really proud of them and happy and if they don't they feel guilty and ashamed of themselves and I was telling her yesterday I'm like like if you need help if you need your parents for something if you need just be the main character it's the whole TikTok thing be the

main character of your life that's what I told her I'm like don't be so worried about getting a no or getting a raised eyebrow and feeling like shit about yourself like just fuck it come at them with like no inhibitions honest completely honest and open conversation about whatever it is you want to talk to them about and just if they're like weird about it just be like oh okay like you kind of I've learned that or I've felt better in the last couple years being that way around people and just being that main character like everyone else's character in my movie that I'm playing with and I'm not going to take anything personally or feel any different about myself based on their feedback because I think that's where you get in a trap in life I think that's where you get

um that that like I I experienced because here I am on the other side where I felt soul-stripped and I felt my like I had an identity crisis because I was allowing somebody to mold and shape me and shape how I thought about myself where now that I have zero like not that I don't respect my elders or respect people that are you know miles above me and or any of that which I already have issues with I just think we're all the same I I doesn't matter like there's just people in this world doing different things than other people but I don't think I don't think people are less valuable because they're not you know the commissioner of the county county commissioner or the guy digging ditches you know it doesn't change my

mind about people. I try, at least when I am like thinking about their life and their, like them as a human being, I don't, that doesn't influence me. But for the most part, I just kind of like do my thing. And I told my mom, I think what's good to do is try to become that person. everyone goes oh that's just Jacqueline oh she's just funny like that or oh you know she doesn't really mean like I mean if you come out with at your parents with a big ask and you're nervous to do it but they just know you as she just it's not like you're crossing boundaries but you're not holding back you're not trying to like my mom and I had a deep conversation yesterday I was going through some there's some like adulting shit I have to take care of

and I was so like oh yeah let's just what's the solution here what do I need to do I was on the phone with a guy I'm like what's your goal with me today just right off the bat like what do we want to accomplish with this phone call because I don't like I don't like to get emotional I don't like to get like upset and worry about how my mom like when we were talking on the phone I'm like well mom let's solve this problem let's get to the solution like all this other filler like oh we didn't do this and I knew you forgot to do that like that's the like obvious stuff we both know but to talk about it just do over it and to get emotional about it is like a waste of time and my it's not efficient so I'm just very quick to go to the solution when I talk to people

and if they're weird about it if they want to go into details and pick things apart and get heated about shit I'll be happy to listen about listen to them about it or let them talk and just sit back and let them I'm not the one who's going well I was doing this and this happened and then this and like I don't do that I let the other person vomit always let the other person vomit on you don't vomit on them because that just is a it's honestly not good for your health it winds you up. I don't know. Okay. Was that a tangent? I liked it, but that was fun. I kind of forgot where I started. All right, let's move on. Um, oh, motivation is overrated. Environment matters more chapter six. It's easier to build a new habits in a new environment because

you are not fighting against old cues yeah yeah gradually your habits become associated with not with a single trigger but with the entire context surrounding the behavior the context becomes the cue that's cool the context becomes the clue the cue make the cues of good habits obvious in your environment interesting okay is that are you guys is that clear chapter six clear if you're in a new environment you're not fighting old cues and old triggers yeah that's like wherever whenever i move i always make an intention like when i live in this house

i'm gonna make it i'm gonna make a point to not do this here like what's like something bad i could explain i don't know like i'm gonna be super disciplined and like never uh forget to clean my couch cushions or fucking like i'm gonna always make my bed when i live in this apartment there's a good example. Never going to skip a day making my bed. So, but when you're in your same environment, you get used to your own shit and you've like, you can't smell it anymore. It's like if it's like, that's why cows are fine living in their own shit. I used to grow up next dairy farms. Those cows were knees deep sometimes in their own shit. But when they're in it all day, they don't notice the smell. That's like when you go to someone's house and you're like,

it smells like their house but when you're when you're in your house you don't notice that it smells like your house okay so we're gonna get into something next okay we're gonna get we're gonna talk about self-control and the secret to self-control in chapter seven okay so this is interesting so the inversion of the first law of behavior change is to make it invisible so the first law of behavior change is make it obvious so the inversion of that is to make it invisible so once a habit is formed it is unlikely to be forgotten people with high self-control tend to spend less time in tempting situations it's easier to avoid temptation than resist it

no shit i try to i i toy with that sometimes with myself like i don't know like you guys know i used to smoke the jewel and i used to like i don't know i just try to i don't hang i don't know how well it's a weird example was i thinking of it's easier to avoid temptation than resist it it's almost like like if you're i don't i don't mean to say block people out of your life but if you have a problem with drugs and alcohol like stop being friends with people that are doing drugs and like drinking and doing all the drugs i don't know okay that's hard that's easier said than done one of the most practical practical ways to eliminate a bad habit is to reduce

exposure to the cue that causes it. I love that. I love that. So that cue, that trigger that causes you to do the bad habit, if you eliminate that entirely, if you never put yourself in a situation that's going to cause you to do the bad habit, that'll help you stop doing the habit. That's beautiful like for example Jacqueline got rid of her jewel it's not I don't I'm not I literally don't have it around it's like not in my out of sight out of mind yes it's still in my car my glove box I've told you that a couple episodes ago I smoked that bitch for two years about and I had lung issues last summer couldn't breathe for two days it was great um but it's out of sight out of mind I never think about it I never think because I only I don't have pods I just have like

the base of it i have two of them in my glove box but i reduce the exposure and uh i don't smoke the jewel anymore self-control is a short-term strategy not a long-term one yeah okay that's great so real quick let me just like synopsisize that i love making up words it's about systems building systems instead of thinking i'm gonna bottleneck myself and be super self-discipline and control the situation and execute on this like new habit I want to do that's like starting a new diet and just like taking all the shit out of your house and like just going to the gym like 10 days 10 days a week for one week straight fucking twice a day for a week like your body that's a short-term strategy and the long term is build a system like build

an entire process around the habit that is autonomous. Okay. You guys are learning so much today. It's all about autonomy, efficiency, fucking Jacqueline's teacher Tuesday. How's this episode going? I've never, like I said, I've never done this anymore. I understand if you've got to go leave me homework assignment. If you need, if you feel like it, I'll take them for the team today. I'll be a, I know I'm the speaker and not the listener, but if it's like a lukewarm one star or two star if you give me that kind of review on the Apple podcast app I'm self-aware I understand you this is like a whole new territory going into like reading book shit what the fuck this is the Jacqueline Monroe show it's off the rails I never do this shit so anyways let's get into chapter is

it eight here how to make habits irresistible so yeah this is this book has like 20 chapters Or should I button it up now? We can continue this Teacher Tuesday about Atomic Habits by James Clear next week. But let's learn how to make habits irresistible. So the second law is you've got to make it attractive. The more attractive an opportunity is, the more likely it is to become habit-forming. Habits are a dopamine-driven feedback loop. When dopamine rises, so does our motivation to act.

It is the anticipation of a reward, not the fulfillment of it, that gets us to take action. The greater the anticipation, the greater the dopamine spike. temptation bundling is one way to make your new habits more attractive the strategy is to pair an action you want to do with an action you need to do okay so how can i reflect on this chapter and talk about how i'm applying it to my life how is this habit of podcasting seven days a week a dopamine driven feedback loop how do how is this habit make me motivated to act

that's interesting question jacqueline great question jacqueline how can i answer that um it's the dopamine I get afterwards honestly it's like a high I feel good about my day I feel like I got it all out I do this usually in the morning I can't say that for the last couple of weeks you guys are getting sexy time at night with Jacqueline like 10 p.m some days but um it's the closest I feel to myself it's the messages I get that you guys are you know it's helping you guys get through your day or you're laughing along with me and uh whatever it is that's awesome I feel like that's what keeps me going and just the fact I want to get a six minute scroll uh I want to have you guys uh fucking Jacqueline figure out the sentence

I don't want to get a six minute scroll I want to it's motivating as fuck even though I don't believe in motivation because I'm born driven what did I say I should have elaborated on why wrote that but it's just a fun thing to see like the number oh like today 75 days of podcasting that's cool I've never done something like that in my life I understand why people climb mountains the whole point is like getting to the summit I'm feeling accomplished and the limit doesn't exist to the Jacqueline Monroe show obviously I said when we scroll for six minutes on the Apple podcast app through every episode and you know it's going to take six years or however the 30 years to get to there. But, uh, that's the, I guess the exciting part is just like

the feeling I get, how happy I am, how clear I am about my life and what I want. Cause I'm speaking it out. I don't keep it to myself. I tell you guys, I'm totally down to overshare and tell you everything um which is an it's an odd thing to do let's be let's be honest let's be super honest right now is this narcissistic maybe is this too much maybe but it's challenging I don't know anyone I don't really know anyone else doing it I mean I'm sure there's people doing it but I it's like I don't know I want to live a one percent life and I don't I'm not shy about saying that I don't want to live an average life I've always the whole driven thing so I think everyone can relate to this everyone's like yeah I just have that thing inside of me that feels like

you know I'm gonna make it I'm gonna be somebody I'm gonna make an impact on the world I'm gonna fucking you're gonna see my name in light someday you know I think a lot of people have that somewhere in their being being that they want to be great they want to be part of the one percent of people that are like top of the world doing cool shit because that's fun to like like I said I'm a big dreamer I think about life in a like in a I'm a movie character this is my show way and I don't want to fucking if I if there is a process if there is a way that already exists to get there why not try it why not throw on a headset Jacqueline and challenge yourself and talk every day and feel good about yourself and like you're contributing to society and maybe you're

helping someone out there instead of being confused on what to do and like just wasting your life away not picking something but I think back to what I said everyone has that thing inside of them I'd say a lot of people that here's what I said when I say a lot of people I recognize that the happiest people are the ones that are just like going out to the bars five days a week and fucking why am I talking with an accent I don't mean it like that okay don't come for me people that are social butterflies no they go to work they like to sit around watch football drink beer fucking that's one example obviously there's money or just people that are when I mean social butterflies like they're constantly just caught up with people and activities and we're going to

this trip we're going to this festival we're doing this they're just like their life they're they're full and they're happy because of that where when I say most people that have that thing I'd say the creatives out there the ones that want to like express themselves and their personality their body their aura whatever is the like that is the thing they want to the world to see like they're how do I explain that like an actor who's like I want to be on the big screen I want to be in front of people's faces I want to act what this how do I so the introverted, more reserved people that are creative. I think a lot of us, I'm putting myself in that category right now for the purpose of this example. Um, I think a lot of them have

that innate desire that's burning inside of them somewhere. They want to be a fucking pop star. They want to be, uh, I don't know, or it could be inventors. I always say inventors, science people that want to invent some shit to change the world flying cars or fucking invisibility cloaks like Harry Potter or um time time travel like they want to pop off and so when I said I don't know anything about motivation I was born driven I wrote that because that drive is just part of who I am I don't need some external motivation I don't need some external inspo to get me started and to get me going because that's already part of who I am I think I've been I've been I've been confused on exactly like how to turn that drive into some

sort of physical thing some product something I can give to the world and it's finally apparent it's finally clear as fuck going back to um this book Atomic Habits like clarity is everything I'm clear about it now there's no oh maybe I should go be a teacher maybe I should go be a I should go work at the zoo like no I'm a daily podcast host it's clear as fuck and that drive is like it's never going away I think yeah okay was that relatable did you learned something? I hope you did. Should we move on? Chapter nine. Fuck it. The role of family and friends in shaping your habits. The culture we live in determines which behaviors are attractive to us. We tend to adopt habits that are praised and approved by our culture

because we have a strong desire to fit in and belong to the tribe. one of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where one your desired behavior is the normal behavior and two you're you already have something in common with the group that's great so I can apply that to my life I noticed when I first started getting into fitness after playing sports my whole life like in college I befriended someone who our friendship was built around our healthy lifestyle it was like we woke up we met at the gym we both did our exercises together and like that was normal that whole like the friendship we had wasn't it wasn't weird because like for another example I had friends in another situation this

is college where I remember they would like roll their eyes if I was eating egg whites they'd be like what the fuck like they got they were annoyed by how healthy I was they were obviously projecting because I feel like they weren't happy with their health it seemed like it felt weird like that and so because I've always cared like I've always been I don't know like I I like feeling quality of life life is everything for me how I feel in my body is everything for me I don't like to feel like shit so back to what this um uh quote is about the most effective way to build a better habit is to go to a place surround yourself with people where your desired behavior is the normal behavior so everyone else is already doing it that's like surrounding yourself with people that

like for me it's not awkward joining a group of pot like i don't know befriending a bunch of podcast hosts which is what i want to do that's literally what i said like episode one all the people I want to be friends with are podcasters. So it's a normal behavior. The desired behavior I want is to podcast every day. So that's a podcasting is a normal behavior for all those other people. But someone who's like, I don't know, just like super reserved, doesn't put themselves online at all, no social media, very private. Maybe they work. Maybe if I was in a friend group with strictly librarians no social media this would be taboo they wouldn't really get me and I think that's my mission too with the show is to be understood so people

I don't know I feel like it's hard for I feel misunderstood sometimes and so for me to feel like accepted because you know what is this thing uh it says uh we're tribal you already have something in common with the group why don't I read about tribes oh yeah we tend to imitate the habits of three social groups the close the close family and friends the many the tribe and the powerful those with status and prestige yeah so fitting in with the group is it's key you don't want to feel like uh it's like writing with your left hand if you're right-handed if you're in a group of like for me librarians that don't understand me that's not fun um so okay the normal behavior of the tribe

tribe often overpowers the desired behavior of the individual most days we'd rather be wrong with a crowd than right by ourselves okay let me read that again because i'm trying to process that the normal behavior of the tribe everyone drinks iced coffee often overpowers the desired behavior of the individual jacqueline doesn't want iced coffee jacqueline wants hot coffee that's backwards because you all know i like my iced coffee more so let's fix it everyone in the crowd drinks hot coffee the desired behavior of me the individual wants iced coffee most days we'd rather be wrong with the crowd than right by ourselves

the whole crowd's getting hot coffee that's a terrible example for this but just to fit in oh fucking i can apply this to high school i would do shit i don't want to do just to fit in. I think we've all kind of done that. You morph because, or this is so real right now in the times of the election and everything. People, like the people in closet supporting trump outwardly they're against him not that they're wrong with the crowd going back to the quote but they'd rather fit in with people around them than be honest and say and be in alignment with their beliefs and their truths about what they think about trump but outwardly they're bashing him inwardly they're like well I fucking kind of like the guy that feels awful

okay so going back to my life because my podcast I understand it's one-sided here but listen I don't do that anymore I've eliminated that part of my personality entirely like well I'd say over the last couple years I've full it's gone it's so gone I don't pretend I don't try to shift parts of me like my beliefs or what I really think so other people like me I like don't even care and I think that's respectable I respect people that are like that I'm like well I know where they stand it's crystal clear there's no like trying to read between the lines or like what are they really you know you think there's something up with them I don't want to be that person where you're like oh there's something up with her everything I say is what I believe

I say what I mean I'm not you know insecure about being liked or trying to like I said that's out the window now you know I feel like growing up with social media into adulthood the years of me dating guys and starting out you know my life on my own I was kind of conditioned and obviously influenced by influencers and other people to curate myself in a way that was attractive to people online especially men who are you know dating apps just meeting guys and sharing your social media it's like i don't want them to see this and be like oh she's a fucking psychopath she talks to herself every day like of course i wouldn't be down to do this when i was 18 i was insecure i wanted people to like me and

that's gone that bitch is like she's burnett look at me now i'm woke and i'm blonde i'm not woke fuck being well i don't like being saying that i'm not woke i said i was woke i do say what i mean i'm saying i'm like i'm at peace with who i am i'm not changing i'm not trying to be liked i say that every show i'm not for everybody i'm not for everybody but if you're down for me if you're down with me down with this shit that's awesome that's what i that's what feels the best as far as having um an audience like building one so far I mean it's a small army very small we got a group chat going on Instagram though which is fun but it feels good when you don't feel like people are hate listening or kind of like I don't know like they don't understand you

they don't really like you I don't want that I want people that are down they're like I basically listening to myself we're the same person anyway should we do chapter 10 i just no let's wrap it up i gotta i gotta wrap it this is teacher tuesday reporting to you live teacher tuesday first edition i honestly think that was a good way for me to like just like hang out with myself and i got the jazz music back on sorry i just fucking love this song it's called together again by dave cause this was a great way for me to hang out with myself and be kind of zen this morning while i was sleep deprived so i might do it again obviously we'll do it tuesday because i definitely

want to bring the value i want to bring the entertainment the education as well so let's prioritize teacher tuesday from here on out it's also an opportunity for me to look sexy as fuck on youtube and wear my 2020 vision no lens sunglasses okay i was thinking about that and i'm like cut the music i was like that's a company i should have or a brand i should have started 2020 vision no lens glasses for the people out there with 2020 vision it's 2020 why the fuck didn't i do that's a billion dollar idea like legit i started wearing no lens sunglasses in college i remember my roommate sean was like one one night he went out and i'm pretty sure he borrowed them to wear i think he borrowed a scarf too no or for his hair his um like a do-rag he

made with my scarf i think or what did he use my scarf for anyways he wore my no lens glasses and it's such a vibe like just no glass happening and you can see someone's eyes really well and you're like oh they've got great eyesight but they want to look cute at the same time because I've always been jealous of people with glasses because it looks hot it looks sexy and I have good eyesight and so I popped out the lenses like I'm doing today and uh 2020 vision sunglasses is coming next year in 2021 what if I did that that's me 2020 vision in 2021 what the fuck train wreck of an ending always weird to stop the podcast I don't know stick around if you're a patron for your patron shout out I didn't plug this until the end so patreon.com

slash TJMS TJMS if you want to support the show everyone gets a shout out everyone gets my exclusive content on my patreon and uh yeah finish your homework don't be a slacker don't if your dog eats it your dog excuse me not if your dog your dog can't eat your homework because it's literally on your phone unless your dog eats your phone go to the apple podcast app leave a review on this show uh let me know about outer space and why the stars are in the same position I did want to know that I also wanted to know I asked you earlier to leave a review and let me know if you've ever learned something from the show um so yeah that's it uh love you guys talk to you more for Wednesday we might do a little clap back at this serious fucking episode

and do what the fuck Wednesday and I could wake up and go off like I normally do and bitch about stuff so that's gonna be a new flavor coming at you tomorrow morning i love you guys again have a great day all right bye bye hello what up you know who you are do i have to share who you are with everyone listening still why do you guys still listen at the shout out part that's that's annoying do you guys just unsubscribe because this part's annoying i get it i i hate when people do shout out to the end of their show because it's like I know I'm not paying for the patreon.com slash tgms subscription but I know these people are and I'm actually kind of bitter about it fuck them they get a they get a shout out but I don't I'm annoyed so anyways to the people who

aren't that and our patrons it's about time I say your names we got Ricky Jensen Trevor Garrett Eagle One and Ozzy Torres also known as Ozzy Osbourne also known as Jamie anyways that's a long story I probably told it before in previous episodes

so love you guys thank you for your support it means a lot to me I'm hoping you're liking the show trying to be liked trying to get people's approval so I hope you I'm a contradiction why'd I say that i just hope this wasn't boring as shit today because i felt like i was it was boring but

anyways love you guys thanks for your support talk to you tomorrow on wednesday all right bye