The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 77- Moving To Japan

Episode Date: November 20, 2020

Sorry in advance. Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Hey guys, happy Thursday. It's episode 77. Welcome back to the show. hi it's Jacqueline welcome back to the podcast welcome back to my show excuse me this is a Broadway show I'm here every day okay it's like being on Broadway I'm here every night switch up my costume though today I'm wearing a giant fur sheepskin looking jacket because I'm freezing my ass off I'm drinking I'm drinking a LaCroix I got my hair on pigtails go over to YouTube to watch this if you want to see the outfit today the new costume for today's show and make sure to go ahead and subscribe to the podcast on the Apple podcast app if you haven't already. Thanks. Okay. And yeah, if you're new and you're like, what's this show? What does she do?

I, this is my audio diary and today I'm going to be negative and I'm going to be a little bit hard on myself and I'll tell you why. Oh my God. LaCroix though. Key lime LaCroix. Shout out. Matches my shirt. Green shirt, green LaCroix. Okay. So not to be negative or talk bad about myself right now but it's 6 p.m and I didn't do this this morning and I don't feel well and I'm I'm mad at myself because I had a window of time before work this morning to do this and I slacked off on social media and today was one of those days where it was all I could do to not be on my phone and I don't know what came over me but I couldn't I was stuck and every every 20 minutes I'd like get pissed off at myself and throw it be like what Jacqueline what are you doing it was so

bad and so I it was because every time I take break breaks because I work at home you know and I take breaks every you know like 20 minutes and then I'd be wasting another 20 minutes scrolling and then it'd be my whole work day is broken up so it took me until fucking 6 p.m. to get my work done and now I'm doing this but enough about that that's boring um we're gonna do the journal entry podcast format today like I've done before where I okay burps are coming hold on i just threw my phone because i said i threw my phone earlier i just threw it on the table i don't need that bitch should i throw it at the like away okay it's going on my kitchen floor it's an iphone 7 it's not going to break because it's indestructible there we go under the counter

there we go okay now i'm fully present ready to be your podcast host we're going to do the journal format today let's roll this bitch back to 1992 no social media i have a journal here called 500 writing prompts and I'm gonna flip through it and talk and get inspo from these questions and I think it'll lead me to ranting about stuff or talking about my childhood or fuzzy warm things you guys like to listen to you always like when I reminisce about talk about childhood talk about like school days and growing up on farms and like yeah so this might um yeah this might be fun because I honestly have nothing to update you on let me just do a quick check-in normally I do my 24 hour update. I got outside today. I got outside every day this week, except

what was it? Tuesday. And I did yoga every day. I just finished a little flow. I did like 15 minutes before I started to kind of get my blood flowing. Um, it takes a lot to talk to you guys sometimes, especially when I'm being mad at myself because I didn't do this this morning. Hey, 77 episodes. Someday I'll figure it out. But, uh, that's pretty much all I have to update. I walked to the like walked out to the marina yesterday where I live and saw the sunset and saw a lot of homeless people and I don't know if you guys do this but I always whenever I pass homeless people with their bike with all of their like their entire like everything they own stacked on their bike somehow that's super heavy I don't know how they ride it whenever I see those

people or people laying on the sidewalk in a tent or on cardboard I'm like immediately I put myself in their head I'm like what are they thinking right now like how what is this life like how are we like neighbors and you're suffering like that and I'm hosting a podcast doing my like literally living my dream every day and doing this and you have to go I I can't stand it and I get emotional like I literally say a little prayer every time I pass one of them I did that well I haven't been outside much this year as you know quarterback of quarantine stay inside multiple days in a row not proud of it asked me about my vitamin d levels they're doing great because i supplement and uh according to the 20 43 000 amazon reviews on the supplement i take

i'm gonna be just fucking fine with my immune system this coronavirus winter season so anyways i got outside saw some homeless people saw the sunset saw a lot of sailboats and that was my night last night this morning i just like were i honestly had a really good work day but i was pissed I was so attached to my phone I was it was an annoying day with my phone if you guys have had an experience like that drop a comment what do I say I always tell you guys write a review about it go let me know in a review don't dm me just please write a review on this on the apple podcast out thank you all right let's flip through the book I've written in here I've answered some of the questions but um I got one here so starting off we're gonna go with a fun

one you're a squirrel and you've fallen out of a tree onto a trampoline what is going through your mind and be colorful so I'm not going to be colorful because if I was a squirrel who fell out of a tree on a trampoline I think it's cute and colorful to say that I'd be like oh my god this is so fun I've never jumped so high in my life wow I can fly I'm a little squirrel that's literally not what would happen if I was a squirrel that happened I would be like pissing shitting free screaming crying my heart would be beating really hard um I don't want to have fun with this question I'm not in the mood right now because I'm negative because I podcasted so late but honestly I'm convinced this is a side tangent I'm convinced squirrels

have tiny pot tiny coffee pots installed in the trees like where are they getting this energy why do they move so fast why do they I love it when they just like sit and they just like move their hands like you have to go to YouTube to see my hands like I don't understand that that that species species species species they're fun I always my old uh my university I went to that was a highlight of my day just walking to class seeing squirrels being jackasses running around like middle of campus I have a great video if you want to go to my Instagram by the way follow me on Instagram but it's of a this is so me this is he this is so me fucking it's a picture it's a video of a squirrel on a Saturday morning early Saturday morning I was out on a walk on

campus didn't go out the night before typical and it's eating a slice of pizza backwards it's so cute go to my Instagram scroll down to find it I don't I think it's from like 2017 and they ended up using it in a commercial for my school like admissions and they showed up football games and shit but it's really cute um I don't know why I told that story but let me tell actually let me tell you a story about that that's what I want to tell you this story because it's so me when I've told you guys about the days where I would like aimlessly walk around and listen to podcasts and go on strolls around campus and college like that was the situation on a Saturday morning where you know I wasn't a big I mean yeah I was social but not like every single weekend so that was a

weekend I stayed in probably didn't go out on a Friday and probably woke up was through on a podcast probably fucking like I don't know I was listening to like a lot of Bill Burr back in the day I think or like Bill Burr who else fucking oh coffee with Crachel that they don't have that show anymore but I saw this squirrel and I took a video of him but it was funny because I he kind of got scared as he seen the video and he ran the part you don't see an extended version is on I think it's on YouTube actually guys I fully documented this squirrel eating pizza it was Domino's pepperoni by the way if you're curious so it scurried away got scared dropped the pizza slice and uh my totally like my inner farm girl like I don't give a fuck about rabies inner person

was like oh I'm grabbing this pizza I'm gonna try to give it back to him so I touched it and followed the bitch to the base of a tree it ran up the tree and I set the pizza down and then what do I see and you can you'll see this on the YouTube video if you go watch it the squirrels up in the tree eating an apple okay it it converted to veganism in two seconds no it just ran up the tree somehow I had an apple up there this is like an old cedar tree I mean I'm from the northwest Washington State University had a lot of I was probably like a pine tree out there where it's dry but I was like bitch come get the pizza I was waiting because I said it there I'm like watching what's it gonna choose to do here because when I walked away I stalked it

I was like waiting for it to come down the tree and it took the apple and ran into the garbage the garbage dumpster thingy where it found all the food and it just kept going but I thought that was so funny so go to yeah YouTube I I think it's still there like she's look I don't know I think I just love squirrels so anyways journal entry number one so yeah if I was a if I was a squirrel that fell onto a trampoline out of a tree I'd be fucking terrified I'm not gonna make this a fun like let's be colorful like this is written for this first of all whoever wrote this this is for adults by the way um piccadillyinc.com uh that's I just like put that in the five-year-old version this okay I'm not really into that

question let's do another one okay so I just threw my phone and I just threw the notebook because I'm annoyed I'm bored of shit this is not what I want to do tonight I don't want to waste your time. This is not, this is not what I thought it was going to be. I was going to read my journal and be like, Hey, I have, you know, let's start a conversation with this question from my journal. Okay. So, uh, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to talk to you about something that's really important to me that I'm not prioritizing right now. That thing is sleep. Okay. Here, I'll dry out the podcast even more. Yeah. We're going to talk about sleep every week. I set an intention to do something this this week my goal is to go outside every day okay

for whatever reason I've backburnered thrown on the back burner getting a solid like eight hours of sleep and I've been my whoop strap keeps bitching at me every day it's like need 24 percent recovery it's like all red and scary and I got it'll show like me in the middle of the night like I'll wake up at 5 a.m and then I'll sleep for like another hour and it's all broken I feel like shit so I gotta get my shit tonight I think this is gonna be a fun short and simple podcast uh I'll figure it out as I go on I'll figure it out did you guys see Joe Rogan try to figure it out on his own the other day on his show he got uh he got uh ambushed no he didn't what's the opposite of being ambushed he got deserted he got deserted Jamie left to pee

apparently Jamie yeah I guess Jamie took a shit and then who was he interviewing he had to go pee Hinchcliffe Tony Hinchcliffe I think it was I was watching that and it was just funny because he's like I've never been on my own before and I and I as soon as I saw that on TV because I was passively watching it but I heard him say that and I started laughing because I'm like wait this is literally my life welcome to like welcome to my life I'm struggling today though you guys hear my voice you know it you guys know it this is the point in the podcast where i go okay do we do a buzzfeed quiz now buzzfeed.com save the day bitch i literally guys i don't know what's going on the world i haven't checked the news i have no pulse on the election stuff current event all i

saw the only piece of news i can share is that uh gavin newsom newsom put a curfew on california i think it's 10 p.m to 5 a.m so for a whole month so i guess that eliminates people like sloppily drunkenly hanging all over each other until the wee hours of the night at big parties past 10 p.m so okay whatever let's see how that works um this is such a crazy year i've learned so much about i'm the best version of myself honest god honest jesus christ our savior our lord who's gonna cancel me can i even talk about jesus christ i don't fucking know beaver's singing about god kanye's singing about god it's weird how people i follow someone on instagram who talks about the bible a lot

and i'm kind of getting into it i follow dk metcalf he's always posting religious shit feeling like my faith is coming back i need something to believe in and he's in this these unprecedented times i think i'm gonna uh start going back to church i just the yoga is helping i think church will help even it's just the calm zen community feel and it's all positive i know it's people don't believe in god and jesus and all that but there's something about it sometimes it's good for the soul and i i like it's honestly at this point the like the environment of being in a church or the ambience, it's nostalgic. It makes me feel like I'm a kid again. And I'm all about that shit. Everything I've been doing lately is like, how can I be

12 years old in my purple bedroom again with my, I would like just put shit all over the walls that like literally look at my set, go to YouTube to check out my set. Like I'm 12. Okay. I'm 12 years old. All right. Buzzfeed.com quizzes. Let's do the trending quizzes today. And I'm going to button this bitch up so I can get a you know what I'm gonna do like a detox shower not a bath I don't feel like that I'm gonna because I don't have one shit I don't have a bathtub it's all good it's a dope shower though I'm gonna do a detox shower do a lot of essential oils do more like stretching and just get to bed at like 9 p.m tonight because fuck guys fuck okay wait am I gonna do this or not? Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Okay. So this is called don't freak out, but we know which country you belong in based on your favorite foods. Let's fucking move to China. Let's do it. So eat a day's worth of delicious meals and reveal where in the world you actually belong. Okay. Here's another song. Don't forget where you belong oh don't forget where you belong if you ever feel alone I was thinking about it quick tangent I was like what if I posted a video of myself because I've been dicking around on Instagram just posting whatever I want I feel free it's all good you know expressing myself not holding back and I was thinking about posting a video where I sang a song but I was obviously I can't I can't really hold it I can slight if I try a little bit I can sing sing out posting a song

like a thing of me singing where everyone think I try like I'm trying like I'm not this isn't supposed to be funny like I'm actually trying my best and it'd be awful and I don't know I just feel like I don't know okay or do some auto-tune shit like t-pay I just hey guys creative juices are full and I'm bringing you into my creative meeting. I used to sit around meetings about creative strategy meetings. Let's build an app. Fucking put our heads together and let's snowball all this, all these thoughts and ideas and build some fucking thing. Okay. So back to traveling the world, eating food. We're going to end the podcast on this. so first question let's start off with some breakfast all right huevos rancheros

huevos rancheros crepes acai bowl avocado toast egg and bacon sandwich or pastries bitch i already know how this quiz is going if you pick the pastries you're moving to france if you pick the aiken aiken aiken and bacon sandwich you're moving to the united states you got that acai bowl but you're going to bali so i already know what this oh you're going to china you're going to mexico or somewhere i don't know okay let's start with let's start with start with some breakfast let's pick a breakfast what do i what honestly sounds like i'll think about this current moment i'm in um i want something refreshing i want that baby i love an audible give me the bananas give me the goji berries i want it all all right next

next question time to treat yourself about about about fucking time jocelyn's been eating her uh healthy food lately like never before because i'm pre-gaming for thanksgiving okay bitch i go to kfc the day before thanksgiving because i got a pre-game okay does anyone do that for real it's like competitive eaters like i'm gonna pre-game for this fucking feast bitch i've been eating so healthy lately i'm looking at this food right now and i'm excited it i got pizza i got a poke bowl it's not like any of this is super unhealthy it's just like treat yourself apparently okay so pizza going to italy poke bowl tacos steak fries steak frites frites sushi or a burger okay fuck these are annoying actually

because i like everything on this oh this is pick something to order in what am i ordering in you guys already know i'm anti-taco i'm team burrito so we're gonna go oh fucking sushi though like i'm gonna go based on what i want now sushi 100 haunted haunted okay next question choose a comfort food to make you feel all warm and cozy inside okay um i'll just drink coffee thanks dude nothing makes me feel more warm and fuzzy than a cappuccino with a little cinnamon on off with some almond milk okay ramen quesadilla pasta fish and chips beef stew you know chicken pot pie beef stew fucks I actually said that before it's great I can't I can't hate on beef stew I just I'm a soup hater though okay I like to eat my meal I don't like to drink it I don't

understand the soup thing not a big fan unless it's uh yeah what I say beef stew and chili you know it's hard to eat like that it's hard something warm something that makes you feel i want the ramen guys i feel like i'm gonna move somewhere in asia because i did uh acai bowl like kind of tropical uh sushi and now ramen okay because i told you i'm trying to move to china in the beginning i knew it i knew i know what's happening but now you guys think Now you guys are going to think I'm trying to purposely pick those, like, cuisines related to Asian countries. Fuck. Okay, so go on.

Grab an appetizer. All right. Chips and guac. Goddamn. Baked brie. Caprese salad. Shrimp cocktail. Goiza?

Goiza? Gui-o-zoia. Chicken wings. I'm going for that chips and guac. I love that chips and guac. The caprese salad looks good. I'm going chips and guac. pick an entree who's asleep is anyone taking a nap right now is this worthy of your time

I don't know I'm having hey listen listen up hold on this is how it goes I do what I want you can listen if you want that's it so tune out if you're bored I get it okay I'm having fun I'm actually curious to see which country I move to this is like me hanging out with myself getting to know myself really well having time to it's my moment of the day where I check in I actually talk out loud because I work from home I'm not around a bunch of co-workers and I'm not on the phone all day with people you know I'm not like social like that so this is me talking and using my vocal cords this is my daily vocal warm-up next are picking an entree risotto out no risotto is like like okay okay okay so risotto it's like if there's pasta

if you're at an italian restaurant and there's pasta there's gnocchi pizza lasagna chicken par fucking all that shit and you pick risotto what the fuck i don't understand the risotto thing do not pick risotto. It's like, if you want to eat rice, go eat sushi, go eat teriyaki shit, go eat fucking poke bowls. Risotto is technically, uh, I don't think it's, is it rice? I feel like it's a, it's actually pasta, but it's in rice shape. I should know. I used to work an Italian restaurant. Okay, so risotto, enchiladas, baked salmon, curry, fried chicken, or roast duck. What do I want right now? I have salmon in my fridge right now. That's kind of like getting old because I've been eating it like recently a lot. So, I mean, not to be bougie,

but I want the roast duck. That looks so good. It's got a bone sticking out. Whenever there's a bone sticking out of the meat. I want it. I don't know what it is. It just makes me feel like it's going to taste really good. I don't know. And the sauce drizzled all over this roast duck looks good. It's kind of orange. There's little yellow cherry tomatoes on there, which look really cute. I'm going to do the roast duck. This is a long quiz. Uh, but another thing I mentioned earlier, you guys know, um, or I know you guys like when I talk about nostalgia, childhood, all that stuff but another thing i've gotten told is you guys lock lock like when i talk about food and stuff so we're doing the food stuff again today pick one of these yummy carbs carbs okay

fries potato croquettes empanadas garlic bread samosas or macaroni salad okay literally if you don't pick fries go fuck yourself and that's it and finally finish off with some dessert finally it's it's gonna be over here we go uh chocolate souffle sorbet fuck sorbet i remember i used to go every time i went to a restaurant when i was vegan that was like the only vegan option and i fake pretended i know you want the chocolate souffle at that point you're like i'll who gives a fuck the egg is in there it's cooked it's not nasty like it why was i vegan for so long it kind of fucked me up mentally i was always like weirded out at first eating non-vegan food it like messes you up i'm getting a call potential spam call

currently for my university town should i answer it i'm not going to it's probably going to be a survey because i'm an alumni they always hit me i'm so nice to those kids that that call me though for the uh alumni survey because I feel like they're working on commission or something and I always they're always asking for donations and or like to fill in the survey so I always do it because I don't know it makes me feel good about myself I don't like to be an asshole like I don't know red velvet cake churros mochi ice cream tiramisu I can't get behind the mochi ice cream thing I just can't personally tiramisu is great churros not that honestly not that good okay um obviously the the answer on this is between red velvet or tiramisu and as a coffee

coffee queen over here is gonna quickly click that tiramisu but I love that red velvet cake is so fucking good what do I do guys I need your help leave a review let me know which cake flavor you have picked um i'm just trying to get you guys to leave a fucking i'm gonna go tiramisu i'm feeling it okay i got japan bitch i didn't go to china i went to japan thank god uh actually i'm excited about this answer so the the quiz i just took to finish out and rammed out this throw away episode 77 what the fuck jacqueline do it in the morning don't do it at night episode the quiz i just took on buzzfeed.com is eat a day's worth of delicious meals and will reveal where in the world you

actually belong and apparently i belong in japan guys this is this is the description you're a naturally curious person who effortlessly thinks outside of the box your adventurous spirit and open mind would fit perfectly in japan so moment of silence for that holy shit I love the internet what can I say it got me it picked like that's perfectly me so that's cool shout out buzzfeed.com saving the day um what I say earlier I'm better at questions than answers yeah okay and like i'm very curious i have a lot of like when i'm primed prepped and ready in the morning with seven shots of coffee in my body it's a different it's a different story than what

you're getting tonight hey got a new subscriber shout out nancy marie go to youtube to subscribe to the channel look at my big furry sheep coat today it's crazy how when i was in seventh grade i wanted to be a youtuber and i never did because I was insecure about how I looked on camera, how I talked, my voice, all that stuff that you deal with when you're in seventh grade. And now I'm in my twenties and I'm like stacking up these fucking videos. And I'm like, yeah, bitch, you're literally not trying to do anything other than talk and like talk about life, talk about your ideas, talk about pop culture, news, whatever you want. You're literally living your dream. And you didn't know

that this is the most, probably the most, like, fulfilling and freeing type of content you can put on the internet, because it doesn't, it doesn't, you don't have to, it doesn't require you to curate anything, edit anything special, like, you just show the fuck up, and you, you upload it, press record, and you upload, what I always say on my podcast, I'm like, yeah, you just talk and you upload it see what happens you know i literally love um the whole process like i just like podcasting i can't wait guys i'm gonna finish watching the donnell rawlings slash what's his face literally most famous comedian in the world chapelle fucking chapelle rogan episode i'm gonna finish watching that i'm gonna shower obviously

finish watching that and uh upload this bitch get a really good good night's rest and yeah like I don't know today was one of those days it happens I've gotten sick on the show before and I recorded I've had off episodes like this so I'm hey sometimes you get thing is about the show I'm learning so this is going to be a big scientific it's like a science project in a year so next so september when did i start this september 4th 2021 it'll be cool to look back and go okay how many bad days because i i could even do a little tag on the episodes where i think that it was kind of off or i could i don't know if i could like label them somehow because it's gonna be cool to see how many days were shitty because

I feel like so far so good other than I got a little sick one day honest to god I don't know what's going on with my mind body spirit I feel like I've never been this happy in my life so and it's honestly thanks to a lot of the messages you guys send me and I don't know it's like this bonding experience I've never had with internet people internet friends so that's awesome thank you and um yeah I'm gonna keep going so love it or hate it and it's like why do I even have to say that or address it I don't know I because I think you know what you know what it is I feel annoying as fuck today I feel annoying I feel out of it like frustrated at myself and uh that happens but anyways thanks for being here for me stick around if you're a patron I haven't even seen

I'm annoyed at myself I didn't plug my patron patreon at the beginning go over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show everyone gets a shout out at the end of the episodes everyone gets my exclusive content on patreon so yeah do that make sure to follow me on instagram subscribe to the podcast leave a review and yeah guys tomorrow night i think you know speaking of this podcast at night last week i did a a white claw drinking episode where i i've never drank like the size of the white claw was out of control i don't understand why the can was so big but I drank that and I did a live stream so might be doing that tomorrow night for Friday's episode um yeah maybe potentially or you know what fuck I could do a Q&A Saturday live Saturday Q&A

let me know send me a DM let me know all right guys love you have a great rest of your day night whenever you're listening to this and I will talk to you tomorrow all right bye hello my patrons of patreon.com slash tjms hey guys what's up how's it going it's your time to shine we got ricky jensen trevor garrett eagle one and ozzy ozzy osborne thank you so much for your support guys i appreciate the shit out of you i'm glad you're enjoying the show uh looking forward to doing some phone calls coming up here in a couple weeks actually so that's fun and yeah uh sorry about this episode. I know I shouldn't apologize. I'm sorry. And I will talk to you guys tomorrow. All right. Bye.