The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 83- Goin Home

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

Happy Wednesday!! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic 

Happy Wednesday before Thanksgiving, y'all. It's episode 83. Welcome back to the show. Hi guys, what's up? It's Jacqueline. Welcome back to the show. I'm feeling myself right now. I'm feeling sexy. I don't know what that music is. Let me cut it out. It's a Thanksgiving music for Thanksgiving dinner, relaxing Thanksgiving jazz on YouTube. I don't know. I'm feeling cute. I'm doing my prom, preparing for prom, pamper, self-care day. I hop on a plane tomorrow. So this entire day is like exfoliation, nails, hair, tan, cute outfits, prepped, trying everything on, like getting all my makeup and scrunchies and perfume and lotions and all that shit packed and ready to go.

I love that. And I'm proud of myself. Typically before I go home, it's a last minute ordeal where I pack like everything in an hour and I hate, I hate feeling discombobulated. So, and rushed. so I'm really feeling this day it's like nice out people are on walks I'm doing this in the morning I'm drinking guys it's like a typical Jacqueline Rochelle podcast I'm drinking coffee right now recording this in the morning I was about to chew ice no I will I will not do that

but yeah I'm just feeling really good welcome back to show so by the way I need to do this right off the bat I need to get better at doing this patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show. Everyone gets a shout out. Everyone gets my exclusive Patreon only content. Then go over to the Apple podcast app and get your little thumbs going. Write me a review. Subscribe to the show. You know, I've never left a review on a podcast before, so I shouldn't talk. But I think it's pretty simple. You basically scroll down on the show and tap a few stars, doesn't matter to me, whatever, and submit it. You don't even have to write anything. It's really quick, really simple. you could try something new today and do it yourself and try it out um anyways I appreciate

the reviews you guys have written up some nice things um yeah let's get into it so you guys can probably guess this isn't gonna be an off the charts rock star episode I'm gonna do my best but like understand remember when I said a couple weeks ago that the entire back half of November when I'm solo podcasting before I go home is gonna be just pretty fucking boring I'm like getting my life together, preparing to leave home. Once I go home, I'll start doing interviews. It'll be more lit. I'll be actually, I'll be doing Christmassy things like shopping, decorating with my mom, baking cookies, going to my grandma's house, going and feeding my grandpa's like chickens and sheep and stuff. I'll be able to talk about so many new things because lately it's the same

shit every day, right? So understand that I'm going to like, this is going to be a little check in, check out episode. Jacqueline's clocking in for work, clocking out. I'm here seven days a week. if you're new this is my little life update I'm just so proud of myself guys here here's what I gotta say in two seconds uh first of all apologize on yesterday's episode shouldn't apologize shouldn't apologize but I blacked out I didn't know what the hell I said and someone DM me they're like how high were you about like what I said on the show and I'm like literally I don't like that isn't a thing okay I think I um and and I get self-conscious sometimes after an episode I'm like I don't even because I don't listen really so anyways I know yesterday we went places I think

the day before I went places my mind's been expanding a lot lately about and getting curious about um our behavior around our phones and the action like the physical uh compulsion to grab it so I've been trying to in my head come up with whatever little thoughts and ideas I have about what would help eliminate that because it's like changing culture and it's making us addicted to our, you know what I mean? Like we're, I don't know. So if you're like, Jacqueline didn't even listen to yesterday's episode. Great. I mentioned stuff about that. And I got a lot of like a few DMs that were like, what were you, what drugs are you on? I'm like, literally, that's just how I think guys. Anyways, uh, quickly here, I want to mention a little, uh, you know, no one cry, but

I've been doing this uh gratitude thing lately or this taking a moment to be like proud of myself and how far I've come especially um I want to do it today because this is a symbolic day yes yesterday was a symbolic day I did my house cleaning I cleaned out all the 2020 dirt you know because I won't be coming back till the new year and there's something symbolic about that I just felt like out. It just felt so good to get all that grime out of my place. Today's a symbolic day because I am, you know, taking really good care of myself because I'm doing all my self-care shit, like everything. I feel like so like I'm ready for prom guys. I'm ready for fucking prom. I love days like this. I've been taking the whole day, whole fucking day to get

cute and just feel nice and literally the the two things that do it for me are nails and tan like that's it but um it's crazy how looking back I want to take this moment like I said no one cry to look back at myself in like July August and that's when the turning point happened that's when my sister came and she basically chewed me out said Jacqueline you like get your life together get your figure your shit out like you're she's like you look like shit you aren't yourself like what's going on my mom and my sister and I have told this story before had the most passionate like screamo session ever that was so full of love because they were trying to help me and I knew everything they said was true and they were like and I for the first time in my life

I'm like I'm gonna take this and run with it they're right I don't want to be stubborn I don't want to be like you know I don't want my ego to get involved and say like no like you you guys don't understand me and no like I deep down knew I was not helped like mentally well okay so I got help therapy I'm like so I'm taking a moment right now to stand on the top of this little mountain I just got up it's I'm not there yet but I'm looking back at August and July and I'm like holy shit. That's cool. That's really cool. I feel happy. I feel productive. I feel like I have like new mini goals that I've been accomplishing. I've got this show now that you guys, thank you so much for all your support and messages. And it's so cool that I'm doing this. And yeah, I

think I just want to take a moment to like appreciate and be grateful for that journey. I just went on this back half of the year um I think I've witnessed the reason why I am proud of that is because I've witnessed people in my life never hold themselves accountable and like own their shit and just and just admit admit it because I think it's easy to be stubborn and when you have like personal challenges and struggles like it's I don't know just own your shit like it's it's so much more freeing if it's out in the open and you're like yeah mom I'm working on this side of my mental health and this part of my behavior and like hey I'm doing it you're right I gotta work on that it's so much more freeing it's so much more easy going

and then you can bring it up like I had a phone call recently with my mom and I'm like immediately mom I was like this is all my fault I forgot to do that that is me on me 100% and I then immediately go to what's the solution how do we take care of this boom you know I've just changed a lot of my reactions to things and um I don't know I'm proud of that and my mental health is like peak it's only going to get better when I make friends and have a you know I'm the social ite of San Diego that I envision myself to be I always joke about that like y'all I can't wait to have like a juicy story to tell you guys about a Friday and like a weekend trip or going out and like what happened you know at the club like I don't like when those times happen like start up

again so my I think that'll my fulfillment and just like social and like all that's gonna peak and be amazing um because I put like that's how I work I put something on my brain that I want for myself and then I don't like as especially about like working on creating a life and a lifestyle I think of things I've said so many times in chunks of time so literally August through December was like Jacqueline's working on herself Jacqueline's putting her head down Jacqueline's you know it's like therapy she's got her new hobby she wants to get really you know consistent with obviously 83 days in a row now and then I'm like all right January 2021 new beginnings new people new friends new like I'm gonna say yes to everything like I am so ready for that but it's all like I can't do

I learned this from my old neighbor actually she's like you can't like do everything at once like yes I'd like to start dating again yes I'd like to start you know being more a lot more social yes I'd like to go on trips and but if I'm not healthy mentally and I'm not well in and I don't have my shit together first like that is not I don't want to get discombobulated with all these other things and that's just me I don't know if other people out there can relate to that but I don't know dude what did I plan on this episode to be I just wanted to check in clock in clock out I'm just doing a little like chit chat I could tell you what I packed I should tell you some of the cute stuff I brought I put my suitcase um but I think what

I'm also proud about don't cry is this year has forced me to figure out a way to be happy 100% alone I don't have to depend on you know I don't rely on other people and experiences to make me happy like I don't it's crazy how that's cool so now I know what it takes to be there and how to get that um and it's literally it's so simple for me how to be happy alone just don't overthink don't stew don't talk negative like I guys I'm pretty sure it's it's this podcast it's a lot of things but the difference that the biggest accomplishment I've made this year is not like, I literally do not say anything negative to myself at all. I don't know if that's, I might be meds guys. I don't know if the, my little antidepressant I just started

taking. Okay. Been open about that, but maybe that's contributing. In fact, I told my therapist that I'm like, she's like, Hey, what's the update? How are you doing? I'm like, I don't even talk shit to myself anymore I don't sit and go you suck you didn't do this today like I used to sit all day long from the moment I open my eyes so I go to bed in a negative spiral and I get depressed and now it's a hundred percent different and I think it's a trifecta of yeah therapy meds and podcasting but yo that's cool that's a huge accomplishment and it's a waste of time it's not useful to be, to stew, to overthink, to get emotional. And everything is like an emotional activity. When you're sitting alone in your apartment during fucking pandemic,

doesn't need to be like that. Now I just get shit done. I love life. I'm like, Hey, I got my, I'm just drinking coffee, packing, doing my self care, getting my tan, my nails, my hair, like, Ooh, it's like a fun. I fucking love life. I love life. I love having fun. I love sitting back and talking anyways real quick let me tell you let's check in what I'm packing what am I packing let's uh get into it so I don't know how are you guys doing are you traveling today or traveling tomorrow I got a 3 30 a.m wake up call pretty pretty sure it's gonna be a three I gotta get up so early and hop on a plane which is fine it just turned out that was I guess the best way go I don't know shout out mom I used her travel points for this this ride last year I screwed up

and I screwed up I didn't make myself the passenger it was under her name so I had to pay I'd like buy out a whole new trip and it was a whole shit show so anyways it's a family sport it's like use each other's mileage points use each other's gas points and shit a Netflix account yeah so basically I don't know if this is interesting to you guys but I'm looking at my table here I got why do I talk like this well how do I fucking go in this fucking accent when I just sit back and chill with myself I don't fucking know so I packed my Vaseline I put it in a new vessel you guys I'm I think I discovered something women men whoever's out there with dry skin like it seems weird and like not what you should do when you look at it because it's so

like slimy and sticky but I've been putting Vaseline on my face I've been putting Vaseline all over my cuticles my elbows like everything and it's the cure it's one ingredient I think it's just petrolatum jelly it's a byproduct of uh like to gas I don't know oil byproduct seems insane right but I got into I think I told you guys this like episode 13 probably because I started doing a nighttime routine with Vaseline where it's the last step of my skincare because it's called slugging your face. I think they do it in Korea. You literally put Vaseline as like this thick layer on your skin, like a slug. Ew, I don't even want to like envision that. I like to slug once at camp, banana slug. So, you know, there's a slug, there's a quick slug story. Is

that fun I don't know I could tell camp stories summer camps canoeing going to the lake getting sit in my cabin baking cookies and shit okay so uh yeah I said this like a few like a while ago uh but I've been continuing it and I really think after about a month or so now doing it it's the shit it really is it's it's the thing to do I followed I saw I watched a 30 minute YouTube video about the science behind it or something from an esthetician and I don't know just and I like things that are simple like that it's like it's been around I think since the 1800s they've been using this forever it's fine but anyways I have that I've got one two three four five like eight scrunch six eight scrunchies and my white nail polish because I only I I figured

out something that works on me and it's white nail polish I think it's so me it's so fresh and cute it looks really nice with the tan so I'm excited when I get my tan later it'll look really like summery and you put little gold rings on and oh it's gonna be cute so yeah my nail polish I have uh my deodorant obviously my face moisturizer I use the Eucerin daily protection SPF 30 you don't need for an SPF you use every day it's set the ingredients are so simple and it's It's, like, been around forever. I like stuff like this because I know that it works. Been using it since, like, high school.

Vitamin D. I got my wellness formula tablets I always talk about. I got Patty. Patty the bear is going home if you're new. He's a little salt and pepper shaker. We got my mom for Christmas, like, three years ago from Target. She named him Patty, and we used to – what she did. So after Christmas, you know, we'd all go back home.

I was I think at the time I was back in at Washington State University when we got it for her but uh she sends us little pictures of like what Patty's doing he'd like sit in her car when she's driving to Seattle or like I don't know like in the house sitting on the couch so we have this little thing with Patty so I'm bringing him back home he'll be coming back uh to see my mom and maybe we'll trade maybe she'll keep him now because we kind of pass him around the family it's a thing I don't know is that it's kind of cute uh I have a new call center headset to do podcasting with uh my guests ordered this a few weeks ago packing that I got a bunch of jewelry bunch of you guys this is interesting I don't know I got purple shampoo for my blonde hair I got literally I'm

doing an entire month of crest white strips going in guys when I say I want to open my mouth and I want people to lose their eyesight because my teeth are so blinding like that is the level of whiteness I'm trying to achieve I want it to look like I don't have veneers I don't want to get I think my teeth are fine I like I literally have braces guys should I tell you guys my teeth journey my teeth story I've never told I had a gap in my teeth when I was little I had a tongue thrust that means that I don't know my tongue just like it needs to be wrangled apparently and so that's why my teeth stuck out and I had a gap and so I had a crib they like stuck a retainer in me with a like wires and shit that I'd have I'd have to stick my tongue behind to learn how to

swallow properly like so fucked up I still don't swallow right I think I don't think I do I got a tongue I got an overactive fucking tongue so I got that and then I got four braces to close the gap when I was in sixth grade and then I had a retainer for a year and then I got full braces until junior year of high school then I go off to college I'm wearing a retainer teeth start moving again so I got Invisalign and I still like that's my what I have now and yeah so it's been a journey my teeth journey has been literally my whole life of I've been an orthodontist I think honestly my parents win the parents of the century award for like if you saw I wonder if I have a picture of my teeth I could post maybe I'll it's probably on the internet somewhere I probably posted a

story before I could find it but they looked fucked up I'll never forget this kid Stefan when I was playing on the playground I think I was like fourth grade he just said in the most like aggressive didn't really care if we hurt my feelings away he's like yo are you ever gonna get your teeth fixed what's wrong with your teeth like that kind of like tone are you yo are you ever gonna get your teeth fixed I'll never forget him saying that and a funny story about him not funny should I say this I don't think anyone would figure out who he is there's a lot of Stefan's out there he ended up I think later on like when I was probably I think I was still at home maybe this is my first couple years going to community college yeah I think this is those times

I think he was we saw him my mom like saw him he's homeless now and then we took him in I think for Christmas like 2013 I think it was I don't know somewhere around there and it's crazy how that's a kid that told me I had fucked up teeth when I was in fourth grade I still it's crazy how like over time people I don't know from your hometowns they like change and grow and you like still know who they are you know of each other if you ever saw each other in public you're like yeah when I was in first grade I remember you were the hot eighth grader like I still remember those people you just know their names you know who they are but you don't necessarily you're not friends with them that's what's always trippy about going home it's like you're in the grocery store you're like

oh my god you've been in my you've lived you you've been here forever I know who you are that's like I have my old play teacher excuse me play teacher my drama teacher what did she she uh director of all the plays I used to be in in my hometown she's like still on Facebook and her kids are super old now they're so tall and I remember when she first had them as little infants it's so weird to see people grow up and I don't know where was I going oh I was telling my teeth story yeah so I've packed I packed my crest white strips like I got I don't know so I want to blind people I just it's so hot when people have really white teeth especially like I don't know it's just so cute um and I'm in showbiz now so I gotta have you know a bright smile brighter than ever like

I don't know how else am I gonna uh stand out I don't know what am I saying that for fucking there's like brits out there with crooked brown teeth and they're popping off um anyways so I don't know you guys I pack I pack sweatpants try shit trying to think if there's anything fun I could tell you that I'm uh packing okay I'm gonna tell you this I haven't revealed my sexual beauty hack ever I'm doing it right now because fuck it I'm bringing it with me it might be awkward for my mom but I don't care mom get ready for this I'm packing my I'm packing my face vibrator okay y'all I bought specifically for my face this is a beauty tip life hack buy it now add to cart get it for yourself men or women don't

be, it's not weird. It's a vibrator for your face. Now, let me preface this by saying that I was in, the last time I was up in LA, I was in Sephora at the Grove and I walked in there and I went to this section of the store in the back where the skincare is. And I looked down, it's on the bottom shelf. And I'm like, why do they sell vibrators here? What is this? Like, what is this? They have a new sex section. Like what's going on? And I was so confused and took a closer look and I realized these are lymphatic vibrator drainage devices people use on their face to drain the puffiness to drain out the fluid in the morning and to tone your muscles and tighten shit and I'm looking down and they're like silicone-y they look like little dildos like

that's what they look like and so I'll never forget that and then came across shout out Lauren from the Skinny Confidential, I came across a blog post of hers, she talks about a lot about using a vibrator on your face, and I started like, you know, and I wake up, you guys know this, if I have a pinch of salt the night before, I wake up, my face gets so bloated from, it just, I think a lot of people wake up with a puffy face, but I just feel like for me, it's like an issue, I need to, I need to ice it in the morning, I need to like pound it really hard, I need to like slap my cheeks I need to massage it just to look snatched because guys I'm on television I'm not fucking not fucking television I'm on YouTube now I'm always on camera I'm taking more selfies I've

ever taken in my life now so I gotta look snatched I'm not gonna get both I don't want to do any shit to my face so fucking I bought a vibrator and that's what I'm packing and it's my face one and it's probably gonna be traumatizing when in the morning when I'm literally this is what you deal with it. So I take, it's so weird. I don't know why this is like, I tease this. The reason why I said I'm going to reveal my sexual beauty secret is when I started doing this, I felt like I should, this should be my hidden secret. I tell the podcast listeners and like eventually I'll reveal it. But anyways, in the morning, I, uh, after I washed my face, I do this probably five days a week um and it feels really good when you're done your face you just like feel your

sinuses are drained everything feels awake i take saran wrap don't don't ask me why i this is like a wand dildo like it's just like a straight like normal what you like uh is there like a famous one out there like a rabbit vibrator i don't know it's just no it doesn't have it's just like a straight cylinder cylindrical dick shape it doesn't look like a dick it's like fucking uh it's kind of cone shaped on one end you guys just like google what a vibrator looks like it's not that complicated anyways I put saran wrap on the end of it that vibrates and I put coconut oil all over my face or I'll do like grapeseed just any oil I have lately I've been using coconut oil and then I just go in I just do like upward motions I go around my forehead I go

lightly around my eyes, guys, it feels so amazing. And that drains my face and clears my sinuses out. It feels like it's, it's great. And then your face kind of gets like this tight look to it. Um, cause I'm pretty sure the science behind doing that is something about like stimulating collagen and your muscles and your face. It's literally like making them do a workout. There's a place, I think it's in New York where there's a few of them. I'm sure they're in New York, LA, London, you know, all the big cities. Um, there's a place called face gym and you go there and they literally do like a, like put your face through a workout. Cause it's, I don't know. So that's when I packed that. That's probably the most interesting thing I packed for this trip.

And, uh, I can't wait to walk in the kitchen and put, put a dildo to my face and see what my mom says it's probably gonna be so awkward dude um what else I don't know I brought like a packed oh I brought okay so remember how I told the story of remember remember remember when I told the story of um this summer or spring when I did a Zara haul it's like yeah this is how you be a YouTuber you go to Zara you buy things and you show the internet and you post a Zara haul Well, I tried on those heels today that I bought that I've never worn. I'm, like, these are going to be my little, like, cute little holiday heels. They'll actually look good with sweats.

It's hard to explain, but I think they'll look good with sweats. It'll be kind of like what, like, Rihanna would do or, like, Hailey Bieber, just, like, heels and sweats. It's, like, a thing. I'm just so into this athleisure trend. I'm embracing it now where before I was like everyone looks the same well now I'm like well you know what Jacqueline it looks cute stop being like that why do I have to be different than other people why can't I appreciate the fact that it's comfy cute and it's trendy it's now it's 2020 as fuck everyone's wearing sweatpants but they're like tie-dye or they're acid wash or they're

like an all-gray fit with gold hoops and you got this jewelry on your face has got a nice highlight to it and you're tan and it's it's like it's a fuck it's a vibe I need to partake because it makes me feel good I feel like I'm uh like I'm living in 2012 like I'm I don't know before that I was just a yoga pants chick with you know I don't know like t-shirts and like like my Patagonia zip up like jacqueline get a sweat get a hoodie and sweats look cute i don't know what's next honestly what's coming after sweats i don't like should i talk about fashion now well let's just get into a couple hot takes or not even they're not even i don't know why i said that like just opinions i don't necessarily how should i just hit my funny bone i haven't done that in a while

hit my funny bone that was not funny that hurts does like a weird vibrate vibration thing up to your wrist that was strange so i live in san diego and i don't know everyone is like it's like how do i say this i don't understand the especially how guy like some guys dress like it's a hipster vibe where they wear everything looks like something their grandpa would wear I don't know like button-down shirts that are really like floppy and like little hats and dad jeans that are cropped really high and low like honestly the only person that can pull that shit off is Harry Styles I don't I don't know if he's like doing is if he if he's spearheading the

trend, like, of wearing that kind of, the cardigans, and the, the grandpa-y attire, the trousers, like, he, it's, he's, him, like, that is his, he is an artist, that is his thing, I don't know, it's weird when I walk around town, I'm like, I don't know, it's not my, I don't, I don't, it's honestly annoying, I don't know what it is, it's kind of annoying, I'm like, please, just, like, be, just dress like a hot boy just wear some sweats and a hoodie and like or a nice t-shirt and jeans and like look I don't know I'm more I'm more into the like I don't know like I don't know how to describe the fashion I like on guys it's like nice I just like nice like just oh guys if you're a guy out there and you're listening this is what you wear if you want to look hot as fuck okay let me

tell you right now I have this is the top that every man looks so good in and it's so specific you have to know this first of all crew neck long sleeve gray like kind of textured shirt like a little like not a sweater material and not a t-shirt material it's like the waffley kind of sweatery uh what's the it's like a little thicker it's like a long sleeve shirt maybe at the top by the collar there's like three buttons that come down but it's gray and it's long sleeved you wear that with pants any like I don't care what your pants are there's something about a man in long sleeve gray shirts that every like it's so hot I don't know what it I don't know what it is it's like the it's like the black t-shirt looks gone I forgot I love white t-shirt literally all you

need is a white t-shirt a black t-shirt and a long sleeve gray so hot I don't know I just don't like the looking like fucking Oliver Twist outfits that's what it is let me google Oliver Twist outfits Oliver Twist I think that's the fashion style I see a lot down here yeah like paper boy I don't know. I'm not trying to be judgmental. I just, it annoys me. I just like, I don't know. Yeah. Okay. So what I don't know, guys, this is clocking in, clocking out. So I really got to stick with that. I have a lot to do. I'm flying out tomorrow. Interviews are coming. Thanks for hanging in there with me the last couple of weeks. Holy shit. Should I like cruise the internet and see what's up real quick. This is my final ride in the studio before

the new year. It's crazy. Um, Oh, my mom's getting an oyster. She just sent a video. She's at Taylor shellfish farms. Oh, I can't wait to go home. Just standing in line. Oh, that looks so Washington. oh I miss doing that so oh that looks it's like rainy and there's clouds and there's like the forest and shit around the bay where she's so Taylor Taylor Shellfish Farms is in like I think it's off Chuckin' It Drive up in Washington and that's one of the most beautiful drives you can go on on the way instead of going to Bellingham um like do you we live in the Skagit Valley so if you go north of Seattle about an hour that's where my mom lives and then if you

go up 30 minutes from that it's Bellingham and then you go up I think about 30 to an hour north and that's Vancouver BC so that's kind of the the like the string of cities or whatever I live by and one of the most scenic routes you can take is Chuckin' It Drive um on the way to Bellingham instead of taking I-5 and it's so like that's we bike there I'm gonna so I'm oh that's a fun fact I packed my biking shorts so I'm finally gonna sit on a bike my mom's so my mom's got my road bike back home and I think I'm gonna box it up and ship it because I I just need it I need it for my my soul I need to get on a bike I need to get out it'll be a great way to I don't know explore around here because there's so many cool like San Diego is amazing it's got everything and

I feel like the biking here is lit. There's a lot of people on bikes and just like going by Torrey Pines, that strip of beach all the way. Is it the 101, the historic 101? Yeah. I used to live right on that before I moved here. But yeah, I packed my biking shorts because I just want to go out on the farm flats, ride my road bike, go by the water. It's fun. Like we used to, my family, like all of us all five of us would do long rides we did the seattle to portland ride a few times we would go we do like 50 mile races sometimes just like short ones um i don't know it was so fun we do it like we would literally like i think we got our bikes i think i was in like sixth grade i was young as fuck and we'd all go in a line and you do a thing with your tires when you follow

someone on a road bike you like draft off the person in front of you and you stagger your wheels a certain way and it's like this thing I don't know I miss it so yeah I'm so excited I'm gonna go home and bike and because guys I don't understand the peloton thing I don't understand I bike at the gym sometimes because that's like I don't have a bike but like biking in one spot is hell to me I hate spin class I've done a few and I'm just like I can't I get annoyed immediately I'm like this bike isn't going anywhere I don't like this I need to get like outside I need to move on a bike pisses me off I get the Peloton thing honestly like I understand it works for a lot of people that work from home and they don't you know whatever but um anyways I'm so excited

guys I can't wait to introduce you to my family and talk to them and share life stories and uh just like eat new food that I haven't been eating because it's I don't want my mom to cook it it's like something I can't wait just to cook with her bake cookies like drink wine build fires we have big bonfire we're gonna do when I'm home can't wait for that see my grandpa he always cries when I leave he's gonna cry I'm gonna cry so hard when I see them it sucks I hate like the part of my decision of moving to a new state is the fact that it's a bit shocking. Every time I go home, my family, everyone grows up a little bit older, especially my grandparents. And I just, it makes me emotional. Like, I don't,

it's weird, like life, not to get deep right now, but there's no manual. There's no, like, unless once you go through, like, you have to go through it to figure it out when you move to a new state, like how you'll be affected from being away from family. Like, I can't say if you're, if you're looking about, or if you're looking into moving away from home, just know that at first it's like honeymoon phase. You're, you know, everything's new and shiny and you're like, holy shit, I'm in my new favorite city. I can't wait to live here. And you're just so excited about it. And then after a couple of years, you're kind of like, it's not normal to be away from family this much. Like it's, it's not normal. This isn't how it should be. I should

be close to them I should be hanging out with them on the weekends going you know sitting with my grandparents eating breakfast like that's normal but I don't know I think the great thing is and maybe I can map this out for 2021 now that I've realized that especially this year with the pandemic and just fucking the travel such like the shit I've I think I could I've always said this I used to when I first moved here I used to go home about or see family like three to four times a year which is great I'm like as long as I can make little trips back home every holiday or they come and visit me you know that type of thing I feel good about my decision to be on my own out here but it's weird when I look back I'm like Jacqueline you haven't been home

since last Thanksgiving like whoa a whole year this is the longest I've been away from family and it's I I I totally it feels so not normal this is not how life should be this is not how life should be I should be first of all boot up boot up right now with the dog what the fuck like that's my dream like I just want to be boot up with the dog uh maybe to the point where I'm taking them home for Thanksgiving I don't know if that's a thing or going to their Thanksgiving that's cool um I don't know how when you date someone what you do like what have I done in the past um we each go home to our own place with our own like that that usually I don't know it just depends but yeah I'm like Jacqueline okay she's I'm ready Jacqueline's ready okay maybe

next Thanksgiving it'll be like that I'm ready I'm fucking ready this year has made me realize what's important and clearly single life isolation chilling alone but hey it's it's all good I can't it tells the next person I'm dating that yo I'm good a bitch is good like you know what it might be fucking crazy to someone out there thinking like what's she doing like what the fuck like I don't know I still you guys hear it in my voice I'm still insecure about the daily podcast thing but I feel like it's a good thing for me it's like a good fit for Jacqueline because I'm working myself out I'm getting to know myself I'm like really under like I'm getting I'm like this is the thing about relationships is I believe it should be two people that are independently

working on themselves but they're together while they're doing it and it's not like this I need the other person to complete me thing it's like Jacqueline's off doing her show she's you know working on herself doing her thing she's got her job she's got all that shit and then she's like not needing you to help her with that it's just like she's out being independent you know learning and growing right and then i need the so then the guy is doing the same thing in the relationship like he's got his shit he's working on he's got his own lane but then it's like we come together and that's like the relationship side of things but and we help each other we motivate each other like that is the that to me because I think I don't know I

think people that or in the past it's not healthy when you stop working on yourself or things slide in a relationship that you were working like if you were on a trajectory in your life like a positive lane towards a career or a new skill or whatever and then you deviate from that and you stop doing it because you're all of a sudden dating a person I don't think that's healthy in fact when I go into a relationship moving forward it's like I want to know about what they're doing in life like what are you what's your like goal like for your in your short term long term because like I don't want to fuck that up I don't want to suck you out of that I want you to win at that I want you to be good at that and um how can I support you through it without

being a giant fucking distraction you can't stop kissing and shit I don't know fuck y'all need to end this I gotta I gotta I gotta finish this you know thanks for hanging out today I did it episode 83 done and done stick around if you're patron once again go over to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show and get a shout out at the end get exclusive content and then go over to the apple podcast app like I said get your little thumbs going warm them up go type a few stars out review the show and subscribe like I said and yeah go go relax man go relax go eat wear some sweatpants have some pumpkin pie I don't know what do you guys like I like I don't know I just I just like being with my family and

it's the it's the drinking for me though lately the holiday gatherings it's fun to just be with my sister especially my sister because we never guys I haven't mentioned that like having a sisterhood or having a fucking like my brother and I and my sister and I are so apart and it's weird whenever we come together I'm like bitch I don't even like what's going on with your life who are you and that's a benefit of the show for my family is I feel like they know me the best out of the entire fucking family if it because my mom she lists I'm pretty sure she listened every she tunes in every day so and my sister she watches me on YouTube and she always sends me like quotes and should I should I say but I don't really know my family that tight because it's not

like they're pouring their hearts out for an hour every day like hey here's my here's what's going on I know a few things my sister's got a project she's hasn't disclosed what it is when I go home she's like I have a project I need you I need your help with and I'm probably gonna be doing her makeup we're gonna have like girl days go and get her nails done go and shop in like oh it's gonna be so fun uh damn I love my life I'm sitting back going wow even though it sucks that we're all apart like the fact I even have that is badass I got it made bitch I got it I got such a good life and I think I'm starting to realize the more you take time to sit back and bask in it and appreciate it the happier you're gonna be it's easy to get caught up in you don't notice that

about your, your, your days. Am I going to end this episode? Um, maybe that's why I'm so happy lately is the show forces me to address what I'm grateful for. And I have to talk about, I talk life. So I think beforehand, I wouldn't verbalize it. There's something about connecting. So you guys know, I'm a thinker. I'm curious about everything constantly. Like, why is this that way why is that you know I do that all day but the difference is when you verbalize something or in my experience when you put something in into the universe through your words you speak it out it's so powerful it feels like I'm listening to my soul like speak and like say its truths and it's literally what I'm doing because beforehand if it's in your head all day

I don't know until and I think a lot of people guys again if you're new this is verbal morning pages I write instead of writing in my journal okay I'm saving trees saving the helping climate change I'm not wasting paper here I speak out my diary that's what this show is it's just a stream of consciousness whatever I'm I need to get out for the day I talk about and um there's it's so beneficial beneficial to mental health free therapy that's what I say you're just alone talking to yourself. Who cares who's listening? I don't care. Anyways, love you guys. Thanks for listening. Stick around if you're a patron. Finally ending the show officially. Dude, it's Thanksgiving tomorrow. I'll talk to you tomorrow for Thanksgiving. And yeah,

that's all I got for you. So have a great day. All right. Bye. All right. Today's patreon.com slash tjms patron shout outs why am i talking so slow go to uh this is the appreciation moment this is where i do my standing ovation for the four people that subscribe to my patreon let's do it we got ricky jensen trevor garrett eagle one and ozzy osbourne y'all wow clap it up for you clap it up for yourself pat yourself on the back go buy yourself an ice cream cone you're great thanks for your support is it is it guys is it ass backwards and upside down that I shout you out every day I said I asked this before I'm like should I do this a couple times a week is it overkill I don't know I'm just

trying to make your names famous the more I say them the more people will know your names and that's, that's cool. Unless you're weird about like, you don't want that. I don't know. Is it overkill to do it seven days a week? I send me a message. I don't know. Anyways, love you guys. Thanks for your support. Talk to you tomorrow on Thanksgiving. All right. Bye.