The Jacqueline Monroe Show - 84- Thanksgiving and Chill

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

THANK YOU for all of the support of the show so far! I appreciate y'all so much! Happy Thanksgiving! :) Patreon.com/TJMS https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. It's episode 84. Welcome back to the show. hi guys what's up it's Jacqueline happy Thanksgiving we made it to turkey day i'm so excited about this episode um guys i have to be so honest with you i have to i feel weird about this but i'm gonna admit it and i think you'd be in support of this i'm flying home tomorrow on thanksgiving so technically as you're hearing this episode it's not thanksgiving but understand that i want to spend 24 hours uninterrupted by podcasting tomorrow with my family and I'm doing this as a precaution because I don't think my mom has wi-fi I'm pretty I'm pretty sure she doesn't and I don't know where I'm gonna you know what will be open if

I you know I don't know where to upload this so whatever it's not super important to tell you that but I felt like I had to I just had to be honest but today we're gonna have a fun episode it's gonna be all about Thanksgiving and just like me being so thankful towards you guys every two seconds and just constantly saying how thankful I am for you listening and like I just feel like I want to pack everyone in a bus and charter you out to me so we can all hang out is that weird can we all have a Thanksgiving together virtually I should do a zoom thing that's I saw a podcast I think um shoot I don't know the name of it but they're doing a virtual zoom thanksgiving with their listeners i think that's so lit i'm not there

yet but whatever i just i'm so grateful for you guys and the word is thankful today i'm not thankful it's not great giving great what the fuck thanksgiving is such a that's a word they just threw together thanksgiving think about it we're thanking the fact that the pilgrims no what did i learn that the uh shit i got the indians and the native america that you can't say that natives killed five deers gifts for the colonists they gift they gived the giving the part of the giving part of thanksgiving it's the fact that the natives killed five deer and then the colonists thanked them by preparing a meal that apparently didn't include turkey it included venison they they cooked up those those deer so let's just go into it so

in 1621 there's a three-day festival of eating hunting and entertainment that's what thanksgiving started out as turkey wasn't on the menu like i just said the the fuck I can't say Indians the Native Americans the indigenous people I don't know what's politically correct anymore whatever I know I don't I don't I don't think I can say Indians because I'm pretty sure like what was it the was like the Redskins changed their name pretty sure Cleveland Indians changed their name Land O'Lakes butter doesn't include an Indian anymore which I think is bullshit I'm like look that's celebrating that culture throwing it on a butter logo like I don't think it's negative anyways so yeah there wasn't pie no pumpkin pie no potatoes

and guess what so this was in 1621 this three-day festival was in 1621 and didn't repeat until 1789 until george washington announced the first thanksgiving like as a national like the first official national holiday announced thanksgiving as okay you get it on thursday november 26th 1789 now get this i'm such a good history teacher today i feel like a history teacher so fucking josepha hale sarah josepha hale famous for the nursery rhyme mary had a little lamb little lamb little this bitch was inspired by the diary of a pilgrim in uh what when was this this is in like the 1800s she was inspired by this diary of a pilgrim to recreate the thanksgiving feast she read about what was that like 100 years earlier 1789 1800

yeah previously in the former century so she ended up this sarah josepha hale the nursery rhyme gal chick but she was hot that sounds like a hot name sarah josepha hale she put on a 30-year fucking campaign to make thanksgiving a national holiday from 1827 to 1850 they like she campaigned like it was a presidential election signs tweets fucking she threw out recipes to get people wet like hey bitch here's a pumpkin pie recipe no one's ever had this before everyone's this is gonna change lives here's mashed potatoes weren't weren't a thing in new england during the original uh thanksgiving feast

and she she threw out a mashed potato recipe for 30 fucking years she's like i think what was going on to be honest i think people were like okay she's talking about thanksgiving let's make this national holiday and everyone's starting to eat her pie over the years and then it was like boom bitch 1863 finally abraham lincoln announced every final thursday in November we'll have a Thanksgiving that's it there's a fun story for y'all shout out Sarah Josepha hail I didn't actually know that I didn't know that until I just researched it today um I just know that like this year with shit going down everything's controversial right and I'm pretty sure everyone's like Thanksgiving is it's a it's a hot topic

you know you know everything's a racial issue and everything's you know getting canceled i don't know so there you go fuck yeah shout out sarah joseph okay i'm gonna do a fun thing with you guys right now i'm gonna let me find it here um stay with me how are you guys doing is anyone feeling fat today i love feeling fat on thanksgiving so one day i feel okay with about it um not like fat I just feel like gross by the end of the day because I feel like all I do on Thanksgiving is eat like so many appetizers and desserts and it's like if like the meals are irrelevant to me it's all about the okay I can't say it's irrelevant I'm there for the fucking crayon that canned ocean spray canned crayon I hope to god my mom has listened to the

podcast and understands I don't want that homemade shit and I know I know she's gonna to make it again this year I want that can I might go out of my way to Walmart because I'm pretty sure they're yeah they're fucking open and get myself a can you guys it's so much just it's superior homemade cranberry sauce ain't shit all right so what was I saying I'm gonna fucking do this I said how oh feeling fat was this oh appetizers and desserts are where I'm at on Thanksgiving give me a charcuterie situation charcuterie give me a give me a literally my plate of dessert is like grandma's apple pie she raised her own apples from birth from the fucking seed the apple seed give me that pumpkin pie give me that uh yeah anyway so she makes her

apple pie and then you got a pumpkin pie then you got cool whip and ice cream and just sit there and feel bloated forever after until you end up napping and then i don't know so here we go we're gonna um we're gonna do a little we're gonna make a bet here this bet is called I'm I'm making a bet with buzzfeed.com says I bet you can't make it through this dysfunctional family thanksgiving you guys I know don't roll your eyes using buzzfeed as my crutches today for the content for the talking points we're gonna do this because I think it's it's lit this is gonna be fun I think most people bitch about family stuff on Thanksgiving and oh why

don't you have a boyfriend where's it why aren't you married why don't you have kids yet when are you gonna get your life together everyone bitches about that with family and I'll be honest I'm going into this meal understanding that I'm I'm kind of excited because it's gonna be low-key I'm pretty sure it's just my immediate family and grandparents I don't think my brother's even going to be there in fact i was so freaked out today he sent a family or he said sent a picture to the group text of a goddamn apple pie he was making my brother making an apple pie and i don't think i'm okay i'm so it was like i don't know how to feel about you being so domesticated he's got a girlfriend you know he lives with and it's like he's matured into a young

he's you know he's early 20s just like growing up it's so weird i'm like i don't know how to and he's like yeah cooking's good for this soul i'm like what the fuck i only know you glued to an xbox in your bedroom fucking or just taking naps on the couch every time i'm home he's just like out until 3 a.m with his friends doing shit and then the next day i see him on the couch all day long he sleeps until like 2 p.m wakes up for the family events god forbid we do breakfast in the morning that's a bitch he's got you know four hours to sleep under his belt and we're hauling him to breakfast and he just can't eat but the goner those days are gone i feel like my brother is he's got his shit shut up first of all while i'm talking about him he's the uh he's the sound

guy for the show what do i call him he's my music guy he made my intro music he's got a great ear he loves he's good at making music he his soundcloud's always linked in the show notes and yeah so it's lit he's going places honest to god i think when this podcast soars he'll soar because you know what that's how i told him i said i don't know what the fuck's gonna happen this podcast all i know is that my goal i guess instead of making it i don't it's not about me right i'm like what the fuck can i do to help someone else in this world and i want my brother to succeed in music at my heart and soul like that will make me happier than anything because his music makes me cry his music has changed my brother has changed my life in fact I we're gonna

are we gonna do this fun this buzzfeed shit I don't know I've mentioned it before but my siblings have made such a big impact into who I am. Wait, what? They've impacted my life. It's amazing. So shout out to my brother, Rob. You're the best. You're making that apple pie. You're making that turkey. He's not going to be there for the feast. But anyways, I was kind of saying like as far as dysfunctional families, what I'm looking forward to is a low-key Thanksgiving where I don't have feel like I just feel like my family's awesome like no one gives no one's like judgy or like but who the like I don't know I'm blonde now I gotta I gotta podcast I don't know what they're gonna do or say or ask and I just I don't know I'm just so excited my grandparents just I just

can't believe how long I've been away from them all right let's do it so quiz here we go or we're going to go through a dysfunctional family Thanksgiving together. Thanks for hosting this year's family gathering. Everyone is so excited to see your new place. How are you getting ready? How are you getting the house ready for your visitors? Cleaning until the place is spotless. Answer number one. Finding family photos to put on the mantle. decorating with autumn knickknacks removing decorations that may upset the elders i guess if i if i had a family if i had family coming to my new place i'm cleaning that bitch until it's spotless that's my style

next thing um oh no next this is like the next part next phase of the dysfunctional thanksgiving oh no uncle jimmy just cornered you okay uh okay i'm uncomfortable jimmy uncle jimmy just cornered you to complain about the new tattoo he sees on your arm what do you do pretend to take a phone call from your sick friend ask him why he and his wife drove over to your house separately okay i'm already gonna make that the answer tell him this is actually your third tattoo the other one's on my ass uncle jimmy the other the other one's under my tits

uncle jimmy so awkward final answer act like you heard someone call your name and rush to the kitchen to help no fuck i would be asking him why his wife and him drove with separate cars oh this is a short and sweet quiz okay good because i want to wrap this i don't want to take all your time today it's family day okay who knows if anyone's i don't know okay whatever i don't need to speculate who's listening on thanksgiving maybe you're out on your post uh post feast walk to help your body come down I don't know people talk about eating on Thanksgiving like it's a it's like a marathon it's like a marathon not a sprint like they just it's like we all turn into cows and we graze all day long uh like I feel like okay anyways let me

just read the answer and then I'll get into my Thanksgiving thoughts you got uh-oh Thanksgiving's ruined your attitude has offended Uncle Jimmy and he isn't going to put up with it he just took a bottle of bourbon into the bathroom oh boy anyways that was fun short and sweet I could do another quiz I don't want to end this I want to I just want to wrap by saying like thanks again Thanksgiving's lit I'm so fucking the fact like not to get I could go this route but I have it so good like some people don't have a family to go see some people can't this year because rules and regulations are following and shit like it breaks my heart I've recently and I kind of get that actually

because so my parents when I was 20 I've told the story many many times but I'm starting to realize how when you're always thrown like holidays are you know got every month or something right and whenever Father's Day comes around it feels a little weird to me because of my dad and I you know I there's nothing wrong there other than the fact I don't see him really ever or I don't have normal like I we're in and out like talking we don't it's just it's not like my mom who I it's not like I'm on a group text my dad every day like my my sister brother my mom and I all go at it all day long sending pics text in like constantly in the Instagram DM sending shit like we're tight-knit like that but my dad's kind of out of the scene because he's you know

they're split up and he's doing his own thing but I just feel like now with holidays I can I get when people are kind of not like I don't want to use the word triggered but on Thanksgiving it's like yeah if you don't if you're fucking homeless you have if you don't have anybody if you don't have family if you've estranged if your family doesn't support you and like if you've moved away that's tough especially on a holiday that celebrates like family time that's probably worse than just like a day that celebrates one family member like a father's or a mother's day anyway so i got it so good i got it so good i like i'm going home to my mom my mom's got the most cozy house it's gonna be like going to a retreat she lives in the middle of like we live

out in the farmland there's like serene i'm gonna see probably some snow geese i think it's this time of year there's snow geese and like crunchy leaves I'm gonna go on bike rides I'm gonna go on trips with my grandparents around I don't know like going out to dinner I got it good I got it really good you know sometimes why am I making this like this I was gonna end it fuck this uh I think what's okay to admit is that yeah I have it good yeah my life's pretty privileged you could say uh on paper everything's sweet everything sounds great but we still have our family struggles I still have my personal issues there's a lot of things in life that it doesn't matter how good you have it it's still gonna come up bullshit always it happens

It's like, nothing is perfect. No family is perfect. No, um, like, I don't know. It's just different for, I don't know. I think it's easier though, to have family bullshit when you're not, it's not like my family is on the verge of homelessness or, you know, we don't have financial hardships like crazy where it's, it makes the strain even worse. Not only is there drama in the family, but you also can't, you know, feed yourselves and pay your bills like that would be exponentially worse. So I think it's easier to have dysfunction in your family when it's you know money isn't a huge deal or I don't know why do I feel bad about that I don't know happy Thanksgiving I don't know that was fun in the beginning I kind of went into a weird place

should I like so I'll tell a turkey story that's kind of fun I'll tell tell a story about my grandpa, I was gonna actually talk about turkeys themselves today, like, let's do a, let's do a podcast about turkeys, and I thought that's gonna be disgusting to think about on, I don't know, if you're, like, eating turkey, and, like, you listen to those episodes, I don't know, uh, my grandpa used to have a Christmas tree farm, I grew up on it, like, pretty much, he, they sold it when I was I think in high school or college so I was I grew up on a Christmas tree farm and every Christmas he would he had his own animals but he would uh like order up or buy from like or like borrow animals from his friend I think his name was Vern I think it was Vern I

think he passed away too I think he did he bought he get or borrow a bunch of extra bunnies a bunch of extra donkeys alpacas i think it was mostly bunnies um chicken sheep like whatever like all these funny farm animals my grandparents lived on a funny farm with christmas trees it was all decked out for the holidays you know they had a giant blow-up santa out in their yard and like there's christmas lights a little shed that looked like the north it was all like the north pole if that makes sense so whimsical and christmasy i think that's why christmas is so special to me it's because of their christmas tree farm but speaking of turkeys they had every year they get two turkeys and i don't know there's something about if you've ever been to it up to a turkey

or up close to a turkey it's fucking strange they look like they're uh what's the thing that the the thing that hangs down their gobbler turkey anatomy i've never done this anatomy gizzard i know what that's called why can't it come the waddle the beard the waddle yeah they have like blue heads and it's red all around it this is exactly what my grandpa's turkeys would look like they all look the same right but uh it's just i don't know i think it's cute he got turkeys because they open the day after thanksgiving they you know the little kids would go and take pics by it or just like pet you can't really pet it it's in a little cage but

that's a fun story then also here's another fun story out where I live there's a church we would go to um I don't want to say the name of it it's like close to home but back in the day we go to church there and this town had wild turkeys walking around it there's something about that that doesn't make any sense in my brain I'm like how does this happen where are they from why are they here I don't understand how they just like turkeys don't just occur naturally in the wild to me turkeys are like it's kind of how I feel about hamsters like where do hamsters live outside of PetSmart where do they like play around I don't understand that at all um should I google that fuck it I'll learn right now let's learn together where do hamsters come from I don't know like

they just seem like a PetSmart exclusive species the first hamsters were discovered in Syria okay well do hamsters still live in the wild hamsters were not bred for domestic life until 1939

so in the wild they like to live in warm dry areas like sand dunes or the edges of deserts okay so apparently they do i bet the majority though are all domesticated and in cages and shit that's kind of sad to think about i told you guys i don't know what episode i was remember my uh science experiment or science project my rat hamster and mouse race and when my

rat murdered my hamster within like 10 minutes of bringing it home yeah i was gonna make them compete in a racetrack in a maze anyways so but that's how turkeys are to me it's like why where the like these ham these turkeys we go to church you get out of you'd like walk to church and on the side of the road at the same place it wasn't like a pet it was as if this house they were always at was the people own them as pets but uh yeah it doesn't make sense i guess they're like giant quails kind of or chicken like I don't know or peacocks like where the fuck do peacocks chill like why are they I don't know guys I'm confused but I'm confusing myself I'm gonna button this up happy Thanksgiving

thanks for your support of the show thanks for your support of me it's cool like you never really know until you do something like this what to expect or what kind of like like the style of feedback you receive because I just don't it's not I'm not doing it I mean it's not I don't know I guess I'm taken back by it a little bit because it's like before I was a person on Instagram who was just like everyone else just kind of posting it randomly whatever I didn't have a main focus or main gig and now with the podcast I'm getting paragraphs I'm getting a lot of like people are talking to me as if they know me not it's like this new thing I'm super grateful for it and it's cool and I feel like this is what makes social media amazing and I want to

continue this because I think I'm I clearly based on the messages and shit I'm helping people they're looking forward to this so that's awesome so thank you so much um for the support and to show your gratitude a little just a step further pull out a five dollar bill out of your pocket upload it to patreon.com slash tjms if you want to support the show you can support me over at patreon everyone gets a shout out everyone gets access to my exclusive patreon only content another way you can support the show is uh going over to apple podcast app and write a review and then finally but

finally but not leastly what the fuck is my mood right now uh go over to youtube i'll resume the video podcast when i come back to san diego in january uh but go over there to subscribe and watch the last episodes if you want to hang out with me on the internet I'm here to speak out my audio diary every day share my stream of consciousness whatever comes to mind with you guys as a friend someone you can hang out with your girlfriend your best friend your mentor I don't know I don't put myself in that category not even close I need the mentorship right now so that's the, that's the, the idea here with the show. Um, I don't know. It's fun. It's fun

as fuck. I'm living my dream. Every day is a Superbowl. Every day is fourth quarter. Every day is go time. I've talked about this not that well. I think I black, I don't know what happened the other night, but this is as happy as I'm going to fucking get podcasting. It doesn't, every time I record it's like peak happiness. Cause this is my, this lights me up more than anything I've ever done so that's cool um and I've made a decision to never forget that because I don't want my happiness to be dependent on future goals with the show and getting somewhere with it and getting bigger numbers and more people listening to like I don't want my happiness to and I'm not driven by that I'm driven by like the fact that this makes literally the act of

doing it makes me happy and so it's like I'm on a streak never miss a day it's fun as fuck I feel so good when I'm done anyways happy Thanksgiving thanks for thanks for being here today thanks for thanks for uh I don't know helping your mom out today cooking cleaning help your mom with the dishes please help your mom with the dishes help your serve people food the elderly around you oh god don't even get near them wait i can't even i can't even recommend that dude just don't show up honestly i feel so weird about hopping off a jet tomorrow rolling to my mom's house with my grandparents in there in this climate covid and shit i don't know what to believe though i'm like i don't know be safe be safe uh

bask in the present moment with your family get off your cell phones tomorrow nobody cares about your what your food look like on your plate don't take that pic who gives a fuck i'm i need to take my own advice tomorrow i will not be posting anything fuck i'm probably not gonna follow through that it's i just want to be with family i don't want to be sucked away if i do just know I'm addicted to social media and my bad. Okay. Love you guys a lot. Stick around if you're a patron and I'll talk to you tomorrow for Friday. All right. Bye. All right. Today's patreon.com slash TJMS patron shout outs. Go to go to sleep. You're so full from your turkey

and your stuffing. Ricky Jensen, Ricky Jensen, Trevor Garrett, Eagle One, and Ozzy Osbourne. Thank you for your support. Take a nap. You're so full of turkey. Thanks for your support, guys. It means a lot to me. Um, take it. Yeah. Take like, seriously, take it easy today have a great thanksgiving with your family thanks how many times i'm gonna say thanks for your support i appreciate you appreciate you a lot it's cool that you do it's awesome you guys are amazing talk to you tomorrow for friday's episode happy thanksgiving all right bye