The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - A special Christmas announcement

Episode Date: November 27, 2022

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You know, it's getting towards that certain time of year. People are putting up tinsel. People are putting up lights. People are cutting down trees. And it reminds me of something that I love very, very much. Ass, titties, ass and titties.

Ass, ass, titties, titties, ass and titties. Okay, but I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about Christmas. I love Christmas. Christmas, to me, is one of the happiest times of year. And most years, I almost release a Christmas album. Like for the last six, seven years in a row, I've thought I'd love to release an album of Christmas music.

And then I don't, usually because we're about to have a child. And that slows things down, you know, just a little bit. Some things it speeds up, like the urgency for you to make a decent living, but mostly it's those things down. And indeed, we're about to have another child. We've got a child due December 16. Very exciting. Can't wait. But, oh! Anyway, I was thinking about Christmas and how I always want to do a Christmas special and how I've, well, it just occurred to me, I thought, oh, even though there's all this stuff going on,

why don't we do a Christmas special for the catamaran plan? It doesn't have to be all that special to be a Christmas special. I could just be at the piano. That's where I was last night. I was at the piano. I had some friends over and I just started playing. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Merry you time. Gay.

I was just singing like that, having a nice time, and I thought, Hey! I can play a bit of piano. I can sing a little bit. I can say something snappy. I've got my crew who can film and record things now. It actually wouldn't be a lot of work for me to record a Christmas album. I'll just print out the chords to the songs, songs I already know.

I'll sing them through. Won't practice it too much. I'll wear a suit maybe. We'll get the living room looking a bit Christmasy. We record it. We push it out. We bring some people some joy this Christmas time. Maybe make some money for the James Donald Forbes and McCann catamaran plan along the way.

Hey! Hey! What do you think of that? Whatever, man. It's not my podcast. Yeah, I thought you'd like it. Because a Christmas special can really lift the tone. It can make people happy in a way that they haven't been happy before. I think of the Elvis Christmas special.

I think of that Bing Crosby one with David Bowie, you know? And as you go through the grind of everyday life... The world is a vampire. I wouldn't necessarily go that far. But it can be difficult. And I think a Christmas special might bring the joy and happiness to me and to you and to raise some money and to get this boat, the catamaran plan.

We could put it out on YouTube. We could put the full version out to the patrons. We could put clips out on YouTube. We could put the full version out to the patrols. We could put clips out on YouTube. We could put the songs out on Spotify. That is money generation for the boat. That's Christmas spirit generation for all you beautiful people out there. And it finally gets a Christmas special. The first possibly of many.

I'd love to do one every year. But the James Donald Fosmican Christmas special, as brought to you by the James Donald Fosmican catamaran plan, I'm all about it. I feel good about it, I feel excited, and I think we're going to make it happen. But lots of things that need to happen before we do it. Here's some things. I've made a list of things that would have to happen if I was to, and I only thought of this last night. This is not, I didn't know this was going to be one of my plans, but I've become enthusiastic about it. Here are some things that would have to happen before recording a Christmas special.

All right, film number one, the filming and the recording. And that's mostly taken care of. I've got my team. I've got my friend Paul. I've got my first mate, Sam Clark, who's working so hard, very diligently. I don't know if it's because of the podcast and me putting him out there or if it's because of his own excellence and diligence, but he's been hard at work this week when paid cinematographic work. And I want to say how proud I am of Sam Clark. You know, where we go one, we go all. I think it's a QAnon thing actually. What I'm trying to say is, you know, a rising tide lifts all boats. I all about people working for me working with me working above me we're all gonna lift we're all gonna do better all the point that i'm trying to make here is that i think we do have a team who could record

it make it look professional on good cameras good microphones all right second thing uploading the christmas album to spotify i don't know anything about that. That's definitely a matter for the manager, Jake Smith, who I'm going to... Actually, I'll call him now. Man, it's hot in this car. Hold on. I've left my phone inside charging. I can't call him now, but I'll call him later. But I'm sure that we can get it on Spotify. I've never heard of someone having a problem getting their music on Spotify, Apple Music, that sort of thing. We could definitely do that. Could we print vinyl? Ah, ah, seems hard. All right, number three, I've got to tune my piano.

My piano is out of tune, and middle C, the most overused note for me, I really only like to play on the white keys if I can manage it. I find that to be a little bit easier. But middle C has become a bit sticky. So we'll definitely have to get a piano tuner in to fix up the piano and then making the room look Christmassy. Well, that's easy. I'm going off with my friend Brandon Manorino tomorrow. We're going to talk about future business ideas, possibly sandwich shop related, but also we're going to cut down our Christmas trees. And so that will

make the room look very Christmassy and we'll get other Christmas decorations as well. I don't have Christmas lights for outside at the moment for my house because at the last house I was at, I got like a really long Christmas lights. It was like 30 meters, 40 meters. Dare I even say it was maybe 50 meters? Seems like that would be too long. But it was a great many metres of Christmas lights. And I just didn't take them down all year until September when we moved house. And by that point, I had to be out of the house like the next day because other people were moving into the house that we'd been kicked out of. So rather than take it down appropriately, I'm ashamed to say,

I just switched them off, got out the scissors and cut the Christmas lights down from my house. And I'm ashamed of that. But I do need to get some new Christmas lights, internal Christmas lights, tinsel, Christmas pictures, maybe a couple of Coca-Colas, the most Christmassy beverage of all. Oh, I might have some nog. Egg nog, that is, not poor nog. And so, yes, we've got to make the room look Christmassy. That's number four.

And number five, picking the songs. And I think it's very easy to pick the songs for Christmas because there are so many excellent Christmas songs. I like Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. White Christmas. What about multicultural Christmas? Oh, Holy Night. Silent Night. Jingle Bells. In the Bleak Mid Winter. Gowda Tay,

Gowda Tay, Gowda Tay. Good King Wincesesless. I like I like I like that. I like that. There are so many glorious Christmas songs on Little Town of Bethlehem. And let's not forget that one that goes...

In Excelsis Deo. That one is dope. I love it. That's a good one, too. There are so many great Christmas songs. I have a beautiful voice. I feel less sick than I have in ages. The voice is getting strong. I'll have to undergo,

however, a real regimen to clear out the sinuses and to make myself a pitch perfect for Christmas sing-along songs. Man, it's not going to be easy to record a Christmas special in time. You know, I don't want it coming out too early because it's, of course, Advent. It's not Christmas. I understand it should come out a little bit before Christmas so that people can you know, I don't want it coming out too early, because it's of course Advent, it's not Christmas, I understand it should come out a little bit before Christmas, so that people can talk about it, and it can have maximum penetration on Christmas Day, but it's important to me, we do this Christmas special, Christmas special comes out, it's going to raise some money, it's going to feel good, I just feel, you know, sometimes an idea comes out of a mist, you don't know where

it's come from, well, in this case, it's come from the fact that I have this idea every year and I never do it. And this year, look, honestly, not a good year to do it. Not a good year to do it. But it's never a good year to do it. So why not just do it? Christmas special. James Donald Forbes McCann. I'm feeling it.

I'm feeling the specials. I'm feeling Christmas. I feel like I am a special. Hey! Yes. Musically, how are we going to set it up? Man, it's hot in this car. I think the best way to do it is just me and a piano.

And I was thinking about the microphone. I could use this microphone. It's a quality microphone. And maybe I could have, well, the thing that I see in my vision is like someone all in black. A black robe, black gloves, sort of like the Nazgul. And maybe they're holding the microphone in my face. The way that I want to play and sing every song. Have you ever seen that Elvis Presley?

I know Elvis Presley had that. Man, it's too hot in this car to be rational. Give me one second. Open up that door. Oh, that cool touch of beautiful exterior air. That feels so right. Oh, it feels like the winds of Christmas. Man, I'm sweaty.

Oh, it's like having my own sauna, but it's unpleasant. Anyway, I think I'm just going to play it with the piano. We're going to keep it bare bones. I thought about getting a guitar player in, getting a drum player in, organising it. We could shoot sketches. And I think, honestly, with the time that we have, if I just put on a suit and make myself look nice, if we have a little fake fireplace that produces no heat whatsoever, if we get a Christmas tree, some tinsel, I'm feeling the Christmas special. You know what I'm saying? I'm feeling it. I love you. assistant. Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera.

I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9. Learn more at store.google.com. Here we are on the way back from the Christmas tree chopping down expedition. I'm here with Paul Galash. Hello. I'm here with Brandon Menorino. There you go. Of course, we went out with Brad Hollis last year and we had a wonderful time. And every year we take a new fresh person to cut down a tree. Paul, there was an electric tree cutting down device used this year by Brandon and I,

but you did it by hand. How did that feel? Well, I was told that it was necessary as your first time to do it by hand, to feel the pain, feel the burn. All right, hold on. I'm taking that away before that gets too intimate. Now, what must be discussed, and I promised people I would discuss this with you on the podcast, Brandon,

is an upcoming business idea that I've had. Not the secret one that we can't let anyone know about. Okay, now I don't know which one you're talking about. We've had several. There's a beverage that we can't talk about. Okay, not the beverage. Because anyone could steal that beverage idea. It's such a good idea.

It's a great idea. That idea is going to buy you your boat and me a partner boat. Oh, I imagine you in a little small boat off the side. But what the idea I want to discuss, and I've been in discussion with it with Paul, I've been in discussion with everybody, is my totalitarian sandwich shop, No Choices. Now, Paul, you're in tight with Renew Adelaide, is that correct? Very much so. I'm good friends with them. They are very supportive of everything good in Adelaide. And they basically give you a place for free, like no rent.

I mean, you have to have a good idea, but basically you get a place with no rent. And so my good idea though, is a sort of a totalitarian sandwich shop called No Choices, where there's one sandwich. Brandon, will you help me make that sandwich? I can help you make the

sandwich, James, but are we doing a different sandwich every day Or just one sandwich, that's all you get every time you come I think it's important That the chef gets to make Well here's the positives Of the one sandwich every day Consistency, quality And the audience can come to respect and appreciate

The sandwich that you have And also we don't have to do too much, which is a big thing for me. I want to work as little... You want to do less. As little as possible. Here's the... In favour of having a different sandwich each day,

you can just always get the cheapest meat. You know, things go up and down, they fluctuate, but you can always charge the same amount. In-season vegetables. Oh, in-season vegetables. Yeah, OK, but you're talking cheap meat. What, are we going to have, horse or something? Slide right onto North East Road

B10. Alright, did you hear that? 600 metres, slide right onto North East Road. Slide right onto North East Road. There's a stop sign. So about 200 metres after that stop sign. You're going to want to turn right following the sign that says Adelaide.

Like a good totalitarian government, you should do the same sandwich every day and then without notice just change it once. Oh, I never acknowledge that it has changed. But what would you, if it was just one sandwich, what are you feeling? Pickle? Oh, definitely. Continue on B10 for 12 minutes.

I can't go right here. Oh, what? All right. Ah. So there's a rally on the way back at the moment. So we have to... I guess we are going past Gumaracka. Wait, what is this for us to do?

Oh, no, it's okay. Oh, we're doing Gorge Road. Oh, it's twisty turny with the trees in the back. It'll be very exciting. So, okay, one sandwich, perfect sandwich. Brandon, by the way, I'm not just asking you randomly. One of the best cooks of my acquaintance, every time I'm at your house, she'd make beautiful meals.

And my wife, to this day, she was going to ask you when we go in, and so I'll give you a heads up. You gave her a potato salad about two and a half years ago that she still talks about, and she would like the recipe for that potato salad. And she felt awkward bringing it up because she thought, oh, it was a long time ago, and I think I'm weird. No, more about it.

That's like the least exciting thing. Carla might even make that sound. Well, it was a good salad, but the things you do with meat, we're stuck behind a learner driver now. So if you could have a dream sandwich, your number one best sandwich ever, what would that sandwich be? Oh, that's a real tough one because I'm partial to Italian sausage.

A good pork and fennel sausage with, you know, capsicum, roast capsicum. You know, maybe a bit of aioli. I mean, you can really, you know, provolone and cheese. But that's not for everyone, you know what I mean? That really you know provolone and cheese but that's not for everyone you know what I mean that's not for the it would have to be yeah that's the point

of the restaurant is it has to be only one sandwich you know what I mean you want to try and make some money too and the people eating that are people of class

and we're not catering to the class so if you were to have a good proletarian wide appeal sandwich if you were to design a sandwich a roast beef sandwich you go

roast beef sandwich roast beef i think roast beef is having them ready to have a moment the jews the arabs they all eat the beef the vegans no but a lot of people they'll eat the beef this person is going like 40 i know you're an l-plater mate but yeah it's been a lot of that sort of chat on this drive and poor Paul, roast beef sandwich. Would you eat a roast beef sandwich? Uh, no. Well, you don't have to. There's a lot of people in this city who might come and buy the sandwich.

Here's a question. I feel like roast beef is, you know, for a retired person in the northern suburbs. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because you haven't had a proper roast beef sandwich. What would you eat? For a man who lived in New Orleans. Sharp right. No, I know what I'm saying. We're going And for a man who lived in New Orleans. Sharp right. We're going to take a sharp right?

That's a very sharp right. The roast beef po' boy. Oh my God, they're glorious. I used to always go for the prawn. The prawn or the oyster. Once I had a roast beef, I never went back. Now you're going to do a very strange thing. Yeah, do you know...

Hold on. Can you... Sharp right. It's that right. We're going to do a very strange thing. Yeah, do you know what I mean? I think the person ran right too. Hold on. Can you... Sharp right. It's that right. Yeah, well, like I said, hopefully this guy is. He is. What the hell?

And that person just gave... That's it. That's the right. Yeah. Man, that is the sharpest right I've ever been on. And also, that person ran a stop sign. The L-plater? No, the L-plater was fine.

The other guy. Right. Hill's driving. We should probably focus on the driving. And I should stop this. No,blader? No, the Elblader was fine. The other guy. Hill's driving. We should probably focus on the driving. And I should stop this. No, keep going. Alright, so what are you

doing with this roast beef sandwich that is making it different and elite? Can you edit out the amount of times I say curse the son? Is that possible?

I edit out every swear word. Okay, thank you. Curses! Curses! You've got a bit of a Catholic following, don't you? Well, you know,

curses for me is not taking anyone's name in vain. No, I don't really mean it. You're cursing somebody. Oh. So I think maybe the **** comes from the state. I'm doing it more in like a, you know, James Brown sort of way. Alright, every swear word for this episode I will put in James Brown. How's that?

Yeah, I'd appreciate it. Okay, now, what are you doing to take this roast beef sandwich up from low-level, northern suburbs, retiree, discount bargain bin, yuck, and making it wowsers? That's an exciting totalitarian sandwich. Well, firstly, we're making the roast beef ourselves. What? We're not buying it. What? We're marinating that just for a day.

You're going to marinate the roast beef yourself? We're going to marinate it. We're going to slow cook it. We're marinating that Christmas for a day. You're going to marinate the roast beef yourself? We're going to marinate it. We're going to slow cook it. We're going to put it back in the fridge. What are you marinating with here? What are the marinades? No, no, no. Oh, you don't tell anybody?

No, no. We're trying to make a business here, mate. We don't keep Christmas copying. So you call it the secret marinade? Secret marinade. I like the secret marinade. Might have a little bit too much nostamini in it. I don't know what that is, but it sounds good.

It's a Gagana spice. It won't. It won't, if anyone's listening. Might share some ingredients. So you make your own roast beef. It's a little bit like the laws in a totalitarian state. You know, not much transparency. We're not telling people how we make it.

It's like sausages. You don't want to see. But hold on. You were talking about watching out for the bottom line of the business and making money. That's what it began with. With you not making your special Italian sausage. No, no. Well, that's more about I'm trying to make a sandwich that can appeal to people that don't eat pork.

Oh, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. I'm trying to make a, you know, everyone really doesn't. You want Jews and Muslims coming and eating. I want most people don't mind beef. You know what I mean? And I feel like a beef sandwich as well, you can make that kosher too. I mean, there's probably like four Jewish people in Adelaide,

but I want them there. That's the sort of inclusivity that we bring to the No Choices restaurant. And what else? So you make your own roast beef. And what else is going on in this sandwich? Well, what kind of bread? We're going to have to do, I think, I feel like, well, you're putting me on the spot here because I didn't really think about it.

Paul, as a sandwich consumer, what kind of sandwich... Which kind of bread do you want? Do you want a roll? Do you want a loafie? I don't like too much bread. Oh, Paul, this sandwich isn't for you, mate. All right?

There you go. This sort of negative... Are you happy for Adelaide's four Jews to come along but anyone with one complaint is shouted out of the business? That's exactly the question. That's the point of it. What else are we... So, not too much bread.

Just to be clear, I want to make it as inclusive a sandwich as possible, but if you don't want it, you can fuck off. Right. A little James Brown coming into the podcast there. So, we're saying... Well, I noticed at Lucia's, which is currently my number one sandwich,

that I hope to be. Lovely sandwich place. Good Italian institution. They scoop the bread out of the roll to make it less bready. And that's a method. That's a great method. Would you consider scaring the shit out of me? Sweet, right?

Hold on. Wait. All right. Well, I mean, what you didn't see is that car coming into our life. No, I know. I know. Look, I was thinking about a sandwich. I have to make an invasive move there.

Saved our lives. Paul, were you scared for your life? I'm worried about what we're going to do with the bread that's scooped out. That's a good question, because I think they just throw it out. Definitely editing that out. We're not letting people know we're entering that competition in case they enter it as well. Good Lord, Paul.

We've got to keep this discreet. If anything, you should edit out the Christmas thing as well. We can't let them know whatever. There's going to be strong editing. That is out, Paul, we gotta keep this discreet. If anything, you should edit out the Christmas thing as well. We can't let them know whatever we're doing. Oh, there's gonna be strong editing. Christmas! That is out! Paul! Paul!

Paul! Watch yourself! We've got two Christmas films, so... Stop it! Hey! Alright! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Thank you for listening to this interview section of the James Donald Forsbacan... Alright, we're looking for the sandwich! Alright, give me a couple more things on the sandwich. We're fleshing it out now. We're going to scoop the bread. We're going to do the luchia method because I was already thinking the luchia method because I wanted to go baguette.

Okay, we go baguette. Scoop out the bread from the middle so it's not too bready. And cheese? I think a Swiss goes well with... Swiss with the roast beef. Are you putting mayo on this sandwich? I'd love a bit of mayo on the sandwich. And a pickle? Always mayo, always pickle with the roast beef. How are you feeling about lettuce? No. Greens of some kind?

Tomato can be your green. Oh, green tomatoes? A green tomato, yeah. Why not? I mean, lettuce is a possibility. I haven't really thought that far ahead. I mean, I definitely, I would like, in a perfect world, I would like to add hot sauce to it, but I recognise that a lot of people don't like spice. No, I think that's a good, I think you put a medium hot sauce on it. I think. And that really drives home the.

Like a Frank's original is no spice. You know what I mean? That's just vinegar. You wouldn't go normal Tabasco? I love normal Tabasco, but I'm trying to make it... I want the vinegar to cut through, you know? All right. We definitely should pull into a drive-through on the way home because I'm very hungry now. I'm quite hungry too.

And if there was a sandwich place that made this roast beef sandwich, that's where I'd go because that's what I feel like right now. Thank you for listening to this part of the James Donald Forbes McCamp. We're going to talk further about the sandwich, but I really feel Brandon should focus on the driving these hills. I'm shocked more people don't die and a lot of people do die. Hang on a minute. The implication there is that I am not driving.

You're driving very well. You're driving very well. I want that on the record. Brandon is an excellent driver. Paul, how would you rate Brandon's driving? Eight and a half. Eight and a half out of nine. That's a very, very good score.

We'll be back soon. I'll take that. Out of ten, eight and a half is not bad. We're in a rally. Thank you for having listened to this episode of the James Donald Forbes Wakand Catamaran Plan. I've had a weird experience this afternoon. It's the next day.

I've got the tree up. We haven't put the decorations on. They're buried deep in the shed, and I don't know where they are, so we have to find the decorations. But I just went out to pick up some sushi for my family, and in the car park there was a little bird. but I just went out to pick up some sushi for my family, and in the car park there was a little bird. It was like a baby bird,

and it wouldn't move from the middle of the car park. I thought someone would hit it. I think it was a minor bird. It was the same color as the street. So I didn't want to touch it, because birds are covered in diseases. But also, I think that's bad for the bird. Someone once told me that the bird mother won't look after the bird if you touch it. So I went to my car and I grabbed a box of tissues.

And I tried to use the tissues to push the bird into the box of tissues. It wouldn't budge, but then it started to move. And I noticed its legs actually worked fine. And it might have just been in shock. But it wouldn't move., but then it started to move, and I noticed its legs actually worked fine, and it might have just been in shock. But it wouldn't move. And I had to go. I had to get the sushi back to my family. I was a little worried that they were eucalyptus-scented tissues,

and so maybe the eucalyptus smell would be off-putting to the bird mother. I told somebody else in the car park about the problem, and I think they were going to do something about it. And if you'd like to do something about me not owning a boat yet, you can always join the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Patreon where you get special bonus episodes and all sorts of wonderful content, including whenever it's done or begun, special access to the Christmas special. I love you. I miss you. Catamaran

ho. Have a good one. Hey, it's Mitch from SideNote Podcast, and I'm here to tell you about the new Google Pixel 9 powered by Gemini. Anyone who knows me knows the Pixel has always been my favorite out of all the phones I've ever had. Now, with Gemini built in, it's basically my personal AI assistant. Since I'm truly terrible at keeping up with emails, I use Gemini to give me summaries of my inbox, which is a lifesaver. And if I'm feeling stuck creatively, I just ask Gemini for help and bam, instant inspiration. You can learn more about Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com.