The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Anti-Japanese Racism

Episode Date: January 29, 2023

Tickets to the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Extravagan(za) are still on sale. For the month of January you can use the codeword 'catamaran' for 50% off: https://adelaidefringe.com.au/frin...getix/the-james-donald-forbes-mccann-catamaran-plan-extravagan-za-af2023 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! and I'm here to tell you about the new Google Pixel 9 powered by Gemini. Anyone who knows me knows the Pixel has always been my favorite out of all the phones I've ever had. Now, with Gemini built in, it's basically my personal AI assistant. Since I'm truly terrible at keeping up with emails,
Starting point is 00:00:34 I use Gemini to give me summaries of my inbox, which is a lifesaver. And if I'm feeling stuck creatively, I just ask Gemini for help, and bam! Instant inspiration. You can learn more about Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. CBC News brings the story to you as it happens. Hundreds of wildfires are burning.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Be the first to know what's going on and what that means for you and for Canadians. This situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know. CBC News. Alright, first thing is I don't like drama. I don't... drama. I don't. I just shut down.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Do you know these people in your life, they always have a story about someone having wronged them? Their life is a perpetual struggle against people attacking them or them attacking people or them standing up for a point of principle. And at some point you go, I think you love this. I think your life is a dialectic struggle. Good for you.
Starting point is 00:01:53 It's not for me. I don't like it. I get bored. Can't stand drama. You know, whenever someone comes at me and they try and start some drama with Jimmy McCann, I'm not having it. I think that's wrong what you've said. People would sometimes, in comedy, you start out comedy, and people will go, I think that joke is actually inappropriate
Starting point is 00:02:17 and I think that you shouldn't say that joke. And you know, I could get into an argument and could defend it, but instead I just go, Oh, you're a massive idiot. I'm not participating in a struggle session with you. I refuse to do it. Sometimes it's, hey, when you said this thing to me, it really hurt my feelings. Because I don't care.
Starting point is 00:02:41 I don't care. I'm not getting involved. I'm not having a sitcom episode about our lives and the discussion. This is a problem, this lack of being interested in drama, for my career. Because I think if you want to get ahead in show business, it does actually help to get involved in the drama. Kanye West's career is, yeah, it's about having great songs and beautiful production and some of the best rappers in the game, but it's also about having drama after drama after drama. George Bush doesn't care about black people. Beyonce had one of the best music videos of all time and just ratcheting it up and up until he went after the biggest drummer of all. I love Hitler. Jews run the world, and then that was too big a drama and people turned away.
Starting point is 00:03:27 But in general, in show business, I think it helps to have some sort of struggle, some sort of reason to stay in the tabloids and for people to care about you. And it's a conflict that can be mistaken for zeitgeist. Maybe it is the zeitgeist and I'm being too high-minded about it. But I don't get energy off that. I'm tit for tat.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I've never really managed to succeed on Twitter because I think on Twitter you just have to sort of say nasty stuff and then have people say nasty stuff to you and then you get embroiled in some sort of nasty stuff hurricane. I don't have it in me. That said, sometimes a principle has to be upheld. And people treat you in a certain way where you've got to stand up for yourself. And it feels to me like starting drama.
Starting point is 00:04:21 It has all the hallmarks of conflict that I don't like. Draining. Man, when people in my family have tried to start stuff with me, start negative pathways, I just I can participate sometimes and I can get involved and I can go a couple rounds with them but then when it's over and they are probably fully charged because that's what they want and that's what gives them energy is to get into a conflict with someone. I just have to lie down in my room for the rest of the day. Can't do it.
Starting point is 00:04:54 I don't have the stomach for it and I just cut people out because it's easier than dealing with them. them. But sometimes people come at you with something that you've got to stand up for yourself. And I'm sort of caught in that this week. Not just standing up for yourself, but standing up for other people. And you'll excuse... I meant to record this earlier in the week and I've...
Starting point is 00:05:23 Yes, I went to an Australian Open party to watch Novak Djokovic play tennis and win the Australian Open. And yes, the people whose house I was at make their own wine. And yes, that wine was very alcoholic and I got my friend Paul to drive me home instead of me driving myself. So if I'm not as articulate in explaining this as I'd like to be, I apologise. Should I have recorded this sober earlier in the week? Sure. Excuse me, it's very hot in the Volvo. I'm just going to open up the window for a second.
Starting point is 00:05:54 He said opening the door. Too drunk to know what it was exactly that he was doing. Too drunk probably to make the points that he was about to try and make on the podcast. Still don't have the and make on the podcast. Still don't have the office, by the way. Seems like I might have the office by the 6th of February, and the office people are being super nice about it, and it's going really, really well, but we're still in the Volvo.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Though this time we are in the passenger side of the Volvo, where there's a lot more room. Because my friend Paul drove me home. Thank you, Paul. Here's what happened to me. I'm doing this show at the Adelaide Fringe, the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Extravagan. What? Really looking forward to doing the show. 600 seat theatre, one night only.
Starting point is 00:06:47 It's going to be terrific. Or it's going to be terrible. It's going to be one of those two things. And as the poster for the show, I selected a picture of myself as a Japanese soldier during World War II invading Australia. It was just ripped from a propaganda poster that the Aussies had put out during World War II of the Japs coming over the world to invade South, you know, to build their co-prosperity sphere slash really violent empire. And a part of that poster was the rising sun that was used by the Japanese
Starting point is 00:07:30 Imperial Army, but to be fair, was used before that army started invading the world and has been used post-World War II to the extent that it's still the naval ensign for the Japanese Maritime Self-Defense Forces till this day. Like, our army fights alongside. Well, we don't fight alongside because we're not fighting a war at the same time, but we participate in military exercises with servicemen and women who serve under that flag. So I didn't think there was a problem, but the Adelaide Fringe rejected the poster. They said it could incite hate.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Now, I've looked up hate symbols. After that, I looked up on the Anti-Defamation League's website, hate symbols. That's where they've got the big compendium of potential hate symbols. After that, I looked up on the Anti-Defamation League's website, hate symbols. That's where they've got the big compendium of potential hate symbols. And there's a lot of hate symbols there. There's more hate symbols there than one knows what to do with. Most numbers are hate symbols, apparently. Huge numbers of numbers. I mean, just check out.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Go to the ADL's website and check out all the numbers that are hate symbols. It's a lot. Things like pitbulls are apparently a symbol of white supremacy. I didn't know that. I thought pitbulls were more of a black dog, personally. And the only reason I thought that was because I don't think we have pitbulls in Australia. I think we have laws against it.
Starting point is 00:09:02 But when I bought Speakerboxd slash The Love Below, an album by Outkast, to black musicians, they had an ad inside there for like the Outkast pitbull dog kennels. So I'd always thought pitbulls were sort of a black thing and a black people dog. Just based on that scrap of information. Turns out pitbulls are also a symbol for white supremacy. I mean, there are so many potential,
Starting point is 00:09:30 just even beyond the normal ones, like the Heil Hitler and the Swastika. Heaps. There's like 13 pages of hate symbols you can wade through. But I'll tell you one symbol that's not on there. It's the Japanese rising sun flag. It's not listed as a hate symbol. It's not a hate symbol. Some people think it's a hate symbol. I think the Chinese and the South Koreans are a little uncomfortable about it because of all the war crimes that were done under that flag.
Starting point is 00:10:05 And fair enough, they can be sensitive about it. We fought the Japanese too. The Japanese had that flag. And I had relatives who were, I think, in Changi. I had an uncle who was in Changi. Great uncle. I mean, surely I have as much a right as anyone to be upset about it as well. But I don't see why the
Starting point is 00:10:25 Adelaide Fringe should get to say, that's banned. We're not having that on our website. Especially as they have all these other hateful ideologies, like they have communist. My friend Amos did a show last year where he just lifted some cultural revolution poster from China and made himself into Mao Zedong. And this was apparently fine, despite, goodness knows how many people starving to death. So it's a communist thing, that's fine. It's a thing that the Japanese still have to this day. Apparently that's not fine. And I don't expect the Adelaide to this day. Apparently that's not fine.
Starting point is 00:11:09 And I don't expect the Adelaide Fringe to stand up for freedom of speech. Because no arts festival anywhere in the Western world has stood up for freedom of speech. In a way that I'm aware of, for some time. If you looked at the old principles that these festivals used to be run by, they would say things like freedom of expression, new ideas, excitement. This was the sort of thing that they would say. They don't say that anymore. Or if they do say it, they say it alongside things like diversity and inclusion and hearing new voices and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Like that sort of lefty progressivism is their M.O. Fine. Fine. They're allowed to have their MO. Whatever. It's sad. I've worked with the Adelaide French for over 10 years and it's sad to have my poster banned. Not even to get like a phone call saying, hey, here are some problems with it. But just, you know, I get a call from my manager saying, yeah, it's been rejected. We've got a little message. That's kind of shitty. Can we make a battery so powerful it can run the next generation of renewable energy?
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Starting point is 00:12:43 But I'm not really a... I wouldn't expect them to stand up for my freedom of speech. What I'm shocked by... I'm shocked by their anti-Japanese racism. And it's hard for me to come up with another word for it. This is a flag that's dear, near and dear to the Japanese people, a proud race, a proud nation, a flag that they still use,
Starting point is 00:13:12 and this is the Adelaide Fringe coming out and going, hey, we're closing the door on the use of your flag in a poster because it's hateful. Well, how am I to read that as anything other than anti-Japanese racism? And it's easy for me just to upload a different poster. And I did upload a different poster. I changed it to a yellow sun with a smiley face. But how dare the Adelaide Fringe?
Starting point is 00:13:42 How dare they do that to the Japanese people? I've had Japanese people write to me saying, James, I'm sorry this has happened to you. And I've said to the Japanese people, will you speak up? Will you lend your voice to saying that this is wrong for the Japanese? And they've said, no, no, no, no, I don't want to get involved. Because the Japanese are a polite, pleasant people who don't want to get involved. Because the Japanese are a polite, pleasant people who don't want to get involved in these sorts of scuffles. Because the last time the Japanese did get involved in drama... ...with two nuclear weapons being dropped on them forever
Starting point is 00:14:20 and irrevocably changing the character of the Japanese people, making them interested in unusual kinds of pornography and not interested in these sorts of discussions. Anyway, something must be done. And if you want to do something about it right now, you can. Buy tickets to the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Extravagan right now on the Adelaide Fringe website. Use the code word CATAMARAN for 50% off. That's 50% off with the code word CATAMARAN. And I am looking forward to the show and I am planning things with the show
Starting point is 00:14:56 but I just, I hate drama. And so a big part of me goes, alright what do we do now? What's the next move? And the big part of me is the part that says, oh, let's just not have any drama. You've re-uploaded the yellow smiley sun. They've accepted that. Is it really necessary to have the red flag?
Starting point is 00:15:21 Move on. Let them ban you. Let them say what you can and can't say. And another part of me goes, no, James, no. Stand up for the people of Japan. Fight the case. I'm talking to my lawyer, my friend Sam McDonough. He was going to be on the podcast today, but he was extremely hungover after being at a wedding. I think it was a Bucks night. He was at a Bucks night yesterday. And he said, I'm just too hungover, Jimmy. What wedding. I think it was a Bucks night. He was at a Bucks night yesterday. And he said, I'm just too hungover, Jimmy. What do you want to ask me? And I said, will you help me fight for my First Amendment rights? And he said, Jimmy, you're in Australia. You have no
Starting point is 00:15:55 First Amendment rights. And of course, I know that's true. And there's some sort of implied freedom of speech in the Constitution. But basically, basically we do not have a constitutionally guaranteed right to freedom of speech. And to that I say, okay. We can't really pursue the legal aspect. The only other aspect that I know of is the, well, it's the court of public opinion. So I'm going to, Monday, For you that'll be now But for me that'll be tomorrow Because I'm recording this late on Sunday night
Starting point is 00:16:30 I'll write a press release About the anti-Japanese racism That has been Done Oh I hope when I wake up And I'm not quite so drunk I have a better word for it than that. The Japanese racism that has been
Starting point is 00:16:48 practicioned? Also not great. And I guess I'll send that out. And I'll just say I'd like at least an explanation from the Adelaide Fringe, but what I really think they should do is apologise to the people of Japan for not permitting
Starting point is 00:17:04 their noble flag to appear on their website. Perhaps they should also hire a Japanese sensitivity commissioner. I'm sure they have sensitivity officers for all other sorts of areas of sensitivity over there at the Adelaide Fringe. I'll bet that they have some gay ones and some Aboriginal ones. But maybe if they're going to make a call this flagrantly racist, they should also have a Japanese one. I really don't want to get stuck into the Adelaide Fringe with this. I have a good relationship with them.
Starting point is 00:17:39 They give me awards. They gave me a grant once. We've always gotten along. But I don't know what to do. It feels like a line in the sand. It feels like a transgression on their part. And boy, they're not going to like having that transgression called attention to, right? They just want you to go, yeah, we've told you no.
Starting point is 00:18:04 We've got our own reasons, suck it up, move on. Allow for this dishonour to be done slash perpetrated onto the Japanese. But I won't do it. I will fight and I will, to the best of my ability, restore my honour. Boy, it's sweaty in this car. It's sweaty in this car. Thank you to everybody, by the way, who has bought tickets to the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Extravagant.
Starting point is 00:18:39 So, thus far, it's still quite a long way away. It's in March. It's at the Royalty Theatre. We're just doing one night only. And we've sold, I don't know, I think moving towards 100 tickets now out of the 600, which is incredible. And I'm looking forward to it. I'm really looking forward to it.
Starting point is 00:18:59 I can't imagine I'll be getting an award from the Adelaide Fringe after standing up for the people of Japan. But that's the price we pay. That is the price we pay. An injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. Is that the quote? I don't know. But it's one that I'm planning on saying repeatedly in a press release that I write tomorrow. I don't think I'm hard to work with. I really don't.
Starting point is 00:19:31 But of course nobody does. I've got a poem about drama that I thought I'd share with you. I don't know if I've shared it before, but it's a poem I wrote about drama and not liking drama. It's called Drama. and it goes a little like this. I'll end on this. I know some people who are addicted to the drama. They love drama like it's a trip to the Bahamas. Personally, I'm turned off when someone wants to start some drama, but these people treat drama like it's a romantic evening with Rihanna. And when I say drama, I don't mean drama like buying tickets to a play at the theatre. When I say drama, I don't mean drama like buying tickets to a play at the theatre. When I say drama, I mean drama like threatening to destroy somebody's career
Starting point is 00:20:10 because they said something objectionable to a friend of a friend of an acquaintance of a friend. I love the theatre. That's the sort of drama I don't mind. But the other kind of drama with the threats and the pride and the phone calls late at night and the frightening accusations for which there is no correct answer, I don't like that kind of drama with the threats and the pride and the phone calls late at night and the frightening accusations for which there is no correct answer, I don't like that kind of drama. I'm more the kind to have a smoothie with guava and banana in the Bahamas with Rihanna. But what about once I'm there, sitting in a wicker chair, and Rihanna wants to start some drama?
Starting point is 00:20:42 Hypothetical situations don't come any harder. Thank goodness she's a pleasant person. And that could never happen. Oh, and I wrote another poem this week that I want to share with you. I wrote it last night in bed and I was so pleased with it. It has nothing to do with drama or the thing I'm going through. But this one's called The Spanish. The airport was confusing. I did not know which plane to take. The conductor shouted,
Starting point is 00:21:09 next stop Spain. I realized my mistake. So I got off at Spain and I walked around the town. No matter where I went, there was Spanish all around. At the hotel, at the bar, even at the football game. It was Spanish wall to wall, calling each other Spanish names. I went to the hotel, at the bar, even at the football game It was Spanish wall to wall, calling each other Spanish names I went to the toilet, there were even Spanish there At the barber shop, a Spanish man cutting Spanish hair I grabbed a random guy He was of the Spanish race And I said, listen Spanish, what's with all the Spanish in this place?
Starting point is 00:21:47 I felt him quiver in my arms, this little Spanish guy. He looked at me, I think he smiled, but he did not reply. I let him go, he scampered off, disappearing into Spain. I don't think I will return here next time I am on a plane. Oh, that gets us up to the right amount of time Can't wait to have an office Can't wait to be formulating more plans Can't wait to have this Adelaide Fringe show done Can't wait to have the Adelaide Fringe
Starting point is 00:22:18 Apologize for their terrible mistake Can't wait to have Glory Heaped upon me by the grateful people of Japan. Yushidigimasu. I think that means you're about to eat something. It's the only piece of Japanese I know. I don't actually know very much Japanese. I tell you what, Japanese. I tell you what, I feel so unfairly infantilised by the Adelaide Fringe, by what they've done. I've gone from being a McCann's son to a McCann Chan, or a McCann Coon. Is that correct? Well, let me know. I love you.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I miss you. I want you. I need you. Can't wait to do this show and make this money for the boat. Oh, maybe I should start doing some shows in Japan. Oh, maybe I should send the press release to the Japanese. Well, now that's a bit more interesting. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:21 I'm going to go to bed. Well, first I'm going to upload this episode, but then I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to wake up and I'm going to go to bed. Well, first I'm going to upload this episode, but then I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to wake up and I'm going to write my Japanese. Well, no, I'm going to hang out with my children. Well, okay, first I'm going to upload this episode. Then I'm going to listen to this episode while I wash the dishes. Then I'm going to go to bed. Then I'm going to write the press release and hang out with my children. Excuse me, another little burp. Man, these people are giving me this wine. I'm so alcoholic. I'm glad I got my friend to drive me home. I love you. I miss
Starting point is 00:23:55 you. I want you. I need you. This is James Donald Forbes McCann of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan, standing up for the nation of Japan. Oh, that's a good headline if you're from the advertiser. James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran plan standing up for the nation of Japan. Oh, that's a good headline. If you're from the advertiser, James Donald Forbes-McCann catamaran plan stands up for the nation of Japan. The James Donald Forbes-McCann Japan plan. Spin-off podcast. Hello. Goodbye.
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