The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Closet Plus Ft. Joseph Green

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Find Joseph Green: https://www.instagram.com/mrjosephgreen/?hl=enHeadline comedy shows on sale now:https://www.jdfmccann.com/gigsHOUSTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 16ST. LOUIS, MO - SEPTEMBER 19OMAHA, NE - SEPTEMBER 20SPRINGFIELD, MO - SEPTEMBER 25INDIANAPOLIS, IN - SEPTEMBER 26LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 30IRVINE, CA - OCTOBER 1LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 2BALTIMORE, MD - OCTOBER 10 - 11SPOKANE, WA - OCTOBER 15TACOMA, WA - OCTOBER 16DALLAS, TX - OCTOBER 18FORT WORTH, TX - OCTOBER 19OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - NOVEMBER 5TULSA, OK - NOVEMBER 6NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 14 - 15WASHINGTON D.C. - NOVEMBER 23Join the Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccannCheck out Black Israelite:https://youtu.be/oawMfCMLkHUBuy the books:https://www.jdfmccann.com/books Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes-McCand-Catamaran plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.com. Clom? Ah, we f***ed that. Anyway, you'll, look, you'll find a way. Catalan home! Swiped is a new movie inspired by the provocative real-life story of the visionary founder of online dating platform Bumble.

Played by Lily James, Swiped introduces recent college grad Whitney Wolfe as she uses extraordinary grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry, paving her way to becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire. An official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Hulu original film Swiped, starts streaming September 19th, only on Disney Plus. Jetopo and a fan. I'm into you live from my unusually clear. clean closet. It's usually not quite as well-organized. And, I mean, is it beautifully organized? No,

I mean, are these things in order? Uh, no. Are they pressed? No. But there's room enough in the floor of the closet that I can sit on a chair. And that's big for me. James, why is your closet so clean? James, why is your closet typically so filthy? I'll tell you why. It's because Charlie Kirk was shot and killed, and it made me feel a little better to clean. It does take a national tragedy to get me to tidy up. It takes a, really, it takes a national tragedy and people behaving obscenely in response to it to get me to tidy up the room. Boy, I, I don't like participating in current events. I leave that to other people

but this is a fairly grim time the Emmys was on last night apparently no one mentioned it so it feels wrong not to mention it you shouldn't execute people who disagree with you boy I hope

we can agree on that I am really I mean Americans won't be seeing this and Australians will be so steeped in it that they won't know that it's unusual but I am seeing the Australian media coverage of the Charlie Kirk assassination, and there's just a couple of, man, we get snide, we get real snide when there's gun death in America. We love to say, look at that.

A man spoke about how he wanted there to be guns, and now he has been killed by a gun. We would never be so silly as to do something like that in Australia, for we have no guns. And I just have no patience for this kind of frippery. America's a very violent country. That's why they have guns. They're a fierce and warlike people. And, you know, when there's not a gun or when there's a city where they've taken the guns away, there's still a lot of crime.

It's actually a lot of crime from guns. I mean, the day before, Charlie Kirk was shot and killed. Someone was, you know, a pretty Ukrainian woman was stabbed to death on a train. It's a violent country. Anyway. uh i didn't i didn't want to get into that i was worried that we would i would just you know my condolences to charlie kirk's family and and charlie kirk fans and friends and people who knew him and um it's not good i wrote down a bunch of cards i'm fairly sick of this episode

you know not this episode i'm i don't like that the podcasts keeps descending to me me screaming and shouting and having meltdown in public. So increasingly, wouldn't it be nice to have a little togetherness and professionalism? Look at that. Whoa, wouldn't it be nice to have a little togetherness and professionalism on the pod? So I wrote down, you know, I have cards. I have cards now so we can move seamlessly from one thing to the other. And while you're listening to this in the gym or at the dishwashing station or perhaps, while you're cleaning up your closet that will make it for a more seamless listening experience for you.

I have to get rid of some of these clothes. I don't wear very many of these clothes. I mean, in particular, I don't know why I ever bought this... Man, this Oprah shirt. I don't fit this Oprah shirt. I am too fat for this Oprah shirt. and even so I think even if it fit like a glove

it would be remiss of me to wear the Oprah shirt out and about same for this jacket I thought you know there was a moment in a goodwill where I thought maybe I'll dress like a cool nana so I have to get rid of them I also I tried to get merch made in time

for my upcoming shows and didn't the books won't arrive on time so I think to this Houston show coming up tomorrow I will just bring some clothes and if you want to pay I don't know what a fair price is for an Oprah shirt that I wore once in the store and thought that will be my aspirational garment I mean he honestly here's I don't like that Australia it's a different I don't I don't like when we're snide we're not good at being snide we have an accent that makes us sound very

stupid internationally. And when we try and get prissy and huffy about things, it makes us seem even more stupid. Am I advocating for an entire change in the accent? Yes. And this is what I think we should go with moving forward. It's just, I mean, we're very cosmopolitan people in Australia. And it's all big cities. And there's almost no one out in the bush. There are some people there, but, you know, percentage-wise, it's not a lot. We've got five, very overcrowded, six, very overcrow. Are we counting Hobart as well? We'll count Canberra. Six to seven, what about the Gold Coast? Is that a separate thing? We've just got big overcrowded cities with university-educated city-slicor-type people. And, gee, we love to wag all the finger and embrace our bureaucracy.

And anyway, I'm sorry. The joy of the notes to return to the notes. I will try to move some of these clothes, disguised as merch at the upcoming show, which is in Houston. September 16, other upcoming shows include, but are not limited to... I'll also try and get rid of these sunglasses. There was a time where I thought I would wear sunglasses on the podcast and buy a new pair of thrift shop sunglasses every episode, but I haven't managed to keep up with it. I will not be medicating. I will not be medicating.

I will not be medicating. Houston, September 16th, St. Louis, September 19, Omaha, September 20, Springfield, Mo. I think that's short for Missouri, September 25, Indianapolis, September 26, all on JDFMcChan.com slash gigs. There's a link below, and there are many other shows coming up as well. Oh, here's a nice one. I'm increasingly open to a closed life. Book of poems once a year, otherwise just disappear. It didn't mean for that to rhyme, but the poet.

flows out of me like blood otherwise I mean not all tragedies are equal a man being shot for speaking his mind and trying to convince people of his point of view on university campuses is obviously worse than the season being over for the crowboys

and Notre Dame wow I was really looking forward to college football filling the void after the crowboys went out in the straight sets but Notre Dame slippy hands can't get that Can't get that conversion. Thank you to everybody filling up the DMs, letting me know that the Crows and Notre Dame have bugged their seasons, respectively. I had noticed.

But thank you. Thank you for getting into the DMs to tell me about that. It is a good reminder not to check the DMs, and also, you know, a good reminder of how blessed I am. I don't think I've ever hopped in the DMs and made fun of stuff. someone for how their football team is doing. So I reckon I'm doing better than you in other aspects of my life. I don't want to be huffy and prissy about it in my Australian voice. But, you know, glad that I could be a salve for you in what is, I'm sure,

and otherwise difficult time. I'm listening to a lot of Ethiopian jazz and funk. Lots and lots of Ethiopian jazz and funk. Sorry, Thai, rock and roll. Ethiopian jazz is my favorite genre of world music now. I played chess against George St. Pierre this week. I'm not really across. I've gone back and watched some of his fights subsequent to that.

What a gentleman, what a scholar. George St. Pierre, I liked him. Great guy. We exchanged small leads throughout, but eventually I really, you know, it was down to three pawns on me, and he had three pawns, but they weren't connected. They were further down the board, and we each had a knight. His king was more engaged, but I had a, I think, winning position, and everyone in the green room stopped to watch as we were playing. This was happening in the green room, the comedy mothership, and then I took with the pawn instead of the night. got a little greedy and thought I'd have a run home, and I didn't.

So it was a drawer, proud to have a drawer with George St. Pierre. I'm currently playing at around 1,200 to 1,600, depending on if I've been drinking, and boy, I'd like to, boy, I'd like to improve the chess. Will I? You can get stuck in playing blitz chess on your phone rather than improving the fundamentals and working on, you know, opening an end game and midgame and all the, man, it's hot in the closet. I can see why so many people want to get out of it. I've been thinking about the seal of approval.

The James Donovan. Here's how I think you can make money. This is what Oprah did. Rather than make something. Obviously Oprah was making something. But a big part of the Oprah brand was that she would put it in the book club. She'd give it the seal of approval. And she was, oh, oh, it was.

a big thing to get the Oprah seal of approval. And I think we've lost that as the gatekeepers have disappeared, haven't we? I think we have. So, maybe that's something that I could, maybe that's maybe that's, oh, I mean, you're thinking, what would, I'd like to listen to something, I'd like to eat something, I'd like to go somewhere. If only there was a reliable seal of approval. So introducing, and I'll work on this at a later time, I'm sure, but the James Donald Forbes-Bacon, Catamaran plan, seal of approval. And see, there, if I'm have seals of approval i just have to enjoy something and give it a seal i don't actually have to make something on my own it's easy it helps other people sounds cool it could be a seal like it could be

the animal a seal they could put a seal on their product franian zui that's got the james donald forbes mccan seal of approval i read that that's probably the best book i read this year. Yes, I'm a teenage girl. Yes, I'm a precocious high school woman. Girl. I loved Franny and Zoe. I don't know if maybe it's Zoe. I've been saying Zui. That's got the seal of approval. They don't have to be new things. They don't even have to be thing things. It's my seal. I'll approve what I want. Swimming. swimming has the seal of the act of swimming going for a swim that's got the seal of approval uh if ever i find a pair of socks i really enjoy that'll be getting the seal of approval

i don't think i've ever had a pair of faultless socks where i go yeah that does just what i need gee i hope i don't have to get into the sock manufacturing game I think that it'd be more trouble than just finding out about the socks, if you know some. I have a big man's foot. I don't like it being too pressurized around the ankle, but I also don't like it falling down. I like there to be, I don't like that scene. I like when there's a seam on the top and it presses into the toes. I don't like that.

I don't like them to be itchy. I don't like them to change very much over time. I don't like getting a hole in them. If there are socks, please find a way if that would get the seal. The Blondie Way obviously gets the seal. Foe real, get the seal. Kieran J. Callan and Alex Cameron, that whole crew. Guess what?

You've got the seal. Feel free to use the seal. Birkenstock shoes. Oh, you better believe they've got the seal. New Polly Magazine. You've got a seal. I'm thinking about starting a news media empire. I don't have the skills.

I don't have the capital. I don't have the inclination. But I'm thinking about it. Shout out to this week's listeners in a special country, South Africa, South Africa currently leading the charge for most listeners in a country where people have warned me not to go. So congratulations, South Africa,

of all the countries that people have warned me not to go, you are, I mean, apart from the United States, you are the country in which I am most popular. So shout out to six people in Cape Town, six people in Cape Town, two people in Johannesburg, two people in Praetoria, one person in Centurion and one person in Durban. Oh, please, Daddy, won't you?

Take me to the fanfare. Take me down to Durban. 12 people in South Africa, is that enough for me to come and do a show against other people's urgings in South Africa? No, it's not, but if you work hard, people of South Africa, I'm sure something can be achieved who wouldn't want to see a man fumble his way forward in a hot closet. We have two listeners in Iraq and two listeners in Israel. Those are the next two countries in the leaderboard of places that people have warned me not to go. One listener in Afghanistan and one listener in Palestine.

Excuse me, bumping the camera. Very happy to come and do a show. Hello to our Gaza listener. I hope you're doing all right. I know you've probably got other stuff going on than telling people about this podcast. But I just want all those places to know. 12 is currently the number to beat.

And probably, realistically, 50 is the number to get to for me to come there. I don't know how I would get into Gaza. I think people keep trying and getting arrested. But I can honestly say I will give it a crack should you lead the tables. I finished a screenplay this week. It's called The Clown Joke. I have to edit it because I've since found out there are sort of industry regulations

about depicting a certain act of despair. I'm told even if you say the name of this act, that's bad for you, but I'm sure we can all put it together on our end. As to what that act might be that's repeatedly depicted in the clown joke. So you just have, I've just, I've rewritten that Sort of carefully. The word learnings, I don't like it.

I do not like the word learnings. We have the word lesson. That's it. That's all, that's all of the, yes. Return once again to Charlie Kirk shot and killed. I didn't watch a lot of Charlie Kirk just because I think he started to have his blow up after I had kids and I basically

children Brenda you sort of you've got to give some things up and I gave up paying attention to affairs of state I mean I'll be talking about it on stage I'll be talking about it on so I don't want to

talk about it now but gee because like people should talk about it And it's fairly grisly. All right. Well, that didn't work. The podcast is only 17 minutes in. I thought if I sat down and I made notes, the podcast would be longer because we'd like it to be a half hour.

And now, what? We bought 17. You want to see some other things? things in the closet? I don't see some other clothes that I'm going to be hocking? I'm keeping the fur coat. I love the fur coat. I don't care if it's never appropriate to wear a faux fur coat in Austin.

I'm keeping it. I mean, what else are we getting rid of? I'll keep the Notre Dame shirt. You see that? It's a Notre Dame shirt. I mean, there's just a lot. There's so many pants I don't fit into. I mean, I did these wranglers.

I went to wear these wranglers one night for a show, and I came out of the room, and my wife said, oh, no. And I said, baby, what's wrong? She said, I can see everything. I said, yeah, isn't that funny? And she said, that's for me. That's not for other, that should just be for me. Talking about my genital, of course. bought a Dewey Reams Bible this week

I mean what would actually be involved in making a news empire I've heard nice things about Cape Town I've heard fewer nice things about Johannesburg I think I'm ready to chop off all of my hair Joseph Green Howdy With us for at least ten minutes Before I drop him off

How long have you been in America for this time around? Five days You've seen Portland I've seen Portland I've seen Los Angeles I've seen Austin, Texas But you've been to America before I have

I lived here once upon a time How long? Three years Wow Yeah. Oh, so this is all. It's all old hat to you. No, it's not.

New York, I lived in New York for three years, and New York is, feels like not America compared to the rest of America. America's got three cities. Yeah. New York. Niaul lanes. Yeah. Everything else is Cleveland. It's an old, beautiful, I forget whose joke that is.

What a classic. It's a zinger. But where are we in that triad, which? Austin is, Austin is. Austin's New York. Austin's Cleveland. Austin's Cleveland Of course Austin is Cleveland

Wow LeBron But I like Cleveland I love Cleveland Let me get a little more in shot You're leaning back on your chair to get in shot Maybe I'm getting out of shot I'm getting a little more relaxed Yeah you've had a night on the town

Yeah Takeaways from the Austin comedy scene so far Wow it's rowdy Cool place I've been here for like two minutes I went where The Velvet the velveteen the velvita room

you came to power bomb on Mondays at the velvita room the show that I'm running with sweet Eve Ellen Bogan um well run well done James and then but my initial my induction

they're great guys they seem it they're great guys there is a sort of a gay I think Egyptian man there who's always touching and I love him yeah I kissed his hand when I met him oh he he would have loved that you've got to be careful the feeling was mutual

he'll kiss you right back and he didn't maybe it's just laying the foundations for what could and you know ensue i believe uh the first i got here last night i saw louis k get out i didn't get to go i wanted to go and see louis i didn't i didn't manage the person i saw in in austin how was he he was he was louis ck he was great do you see him backstage you saw him on stage okay so the dick remained the dick remained intact intact and inside he did announce he would sign penises if they were presented to him I mean a legend

A legend of the star And by all accounts A good man Who's helped many good people And his impact on the comedy scene By all accounts Well Many accounts for sure

But maybe I would say outside of the New York Times Sure Of course I've read a uniformly positive That's great But I never got to meet it I haven't got to meet him

Really And the other one is Bill Burr And I would so love to meet Billy Burr Of course But I got to meet Dave Chappelle That would have been fun Oh, it was great.

You did a podcast with Dave Shepard. I was scared. It actually became just you and him. Oh, the lights have just gone out. Yeah, it's good. That creates a new Mizant scene to follow up from under the bridge. Turn off. And then...

Yeah, if the battery expires, then I crash here. And we're off to Houston tomorrow. That's exciting. And I think we'll do a Houston pod. How far is that? It's about two and a half hours. We'll go to a Buckees on the way. That's nice.

Oh, it's going to be so nice. I'm flat as a deck. what do you mean i it's been too much for too long you've what i'm i'm i'm a burnt i'm a husk i'll be ready tomorrow for the gig i feel tired too is it if that's what you're saying well i we're just emceeing that show and then i we went to the mothership and you got to see the mothership yeah the mothership wow iconic place apparently louis k helped design some of the dimensions for that they had and walk around the yeah the the the myth that was confirmed to me by or iri and maybe you as well is that louis walked in they said the the roof was too high he's

said lower that ceiling and he put a new floor and lowered the ceiling as well you got to have a low ceiling you got it comedy requires certain things yeah i only watched it from up time it seems it seems pretty high on the up section yeah but this is why um you wanted them in darkness and this is why at the comedy store and also at the mothership when they have the open mics to see if people are allowed to come back on a monday the opening section of the show where people do three minutes they keep the lights on in the audience so that they have to work harder oh really yeah because they want to know and people have really got it because if you've really really got it you'll get something you can crush me in the light yeah but they the light i remember i wanted to show in perth and they left

the lights on and then once they turn the lights off it was great but i remember this that's where we met in perth it's devastating eight minutes we had a beautiful day together in perth yeah i remember drinking a lot of water i don't did we vote was it a voting day did we vote that day i think it might have been an election We walked through Fremantle together. And we were both... Were we doing Johnny's shows? What was happening? Yeah, doing some shitty open mics and Johnny's shows before...

Which is the comedy lounge, before it existed as a physical space. Oh yes, when it was a hodgepodge. Yeah, where it was sort of like a transient place. I'd forgotten that that's where we met. We had a beautiful time on Perth public transport. Yeah. You were in Melbourne. I was in exile of Melbourne at that time.

Yeah, yeah. You described it to me in detail that day. I'm trying to be more discreet now, but I'd gotten... No, I appreciated you confiding in me at that time. I got my ass right out of that city. It is interesting with comedy, and I guess this could be applied to other people's. You know, maybe you're a musician, maybe you make shoes, maybe you're, you know, whatever, an accountant.

I find being in a city and a scene in a certain place at a certain time, it's very important that you can really have your light under a bushel if you're in the wrong place if you're really trying to it's incredible even within Australia people who you know the Sydney people

who's not quite working out they go to Melbourne and they have a big pop and vice versa this happens all the time very few people have come to Adelaide to pop but

I think this applies in a lot of industries where it's like people like people who are coming and or going I find that to be there's nothing like

scarcity yeah something weirdly psychological there was you know No, I used to work in the modeling profession, James McCann. Show yourself off. And there was this guy, there was this hairdresser slash stylist I met in Melbourne,

and I lived in New York doing a little bit of modeling. Yes, I'm sorry, someone's taking the bins out. Of course. I said that God given right. It's bin night here. Hello. Tuesday morning. Hi, I'm just dropping off my friend, but we were just doing a podcast in the car.

If that's right, are we being too loud? Oh, thank you. I apologize. I know this is unusual. this is crazy behavior um it'd be great if we could have a james mccann fan come it's called the james donald forbes mccand catamaran plan it's uh it's an okay podcast it's my no it's not big and successful but you know we're getting there anyway god bless you sorry we are getting there you're getting there big time i'm gonna get a fucking shot i got there you're talking to the people big things are happening

down one new listener at a time if she looks up the podcast she'll see me on the highway screaming into traffic wow coming at you live it was important i felt to do one that wasn't in traffic i don't want to just have to do them in traffic every week the feedback on the podcast in traffic episode was strong but i'm not um you know we're white we're polite we were dignifying she's a fan I feel already. She's coming back. It might be another bin, but she's coming back.

Well, what? Anyway, I just, I need to have this get to 10 minutes so the podcast overall can be a half hour. Oh, I should finish that story. Oh, yes, please. Otherwise, it seems like I just brought up modeling for the, just to bring it up. I'd assume that's what you had done.

No, it wasn't. It genuinely was. In this driveway here? Oh, of course. Yeah. that's all right oh no i won't do that to you you don't have you don't want to be on the podcast you don't have to it's about it's about a few years ago i was a poor person in adelaide and i was trying to buy a boat and the podcast has gone quite well and i've gotten to come here and do comedy here

i'm a stand up comedians and so it's about still trying to earn five hundred thousand dollars with a podcast to buy a boat it's going all right I'm dropping my friend off. He's in that house. He's staying up the back of that one. Oh, yeah. Sorry, it's not a great name. It's a great name.

It's the James. Well, it's not easy to search. The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. It's a great name. Well, I appreciate it. You too. bless i love america what a sweet lady hard to tell in the dark but she seems sweet she was very good about that yes she was i mean if two punk kids shut up in my driveway doing a podcast

blah blah blah we don't call 911 blah pippity boppity blah blah blah um uh you're sure you're a model oh damn but the point of the story is there's this stylist could get no work in australia yes zero work and but he'd done one shoot with this model who was a big model in America but from Dandinole yeah androgynous person and he came visited New York and I said hey the fact that you've worked one time with that guy yeah in Dandynoff which is an outer suburb in Melbourne Australia people love this guy in America so they'll love that yeah so he came to America he showed some people I've worked with this guy they're like that's amazing he must be big time in Australia so they put him on

jobs in America but then when he went back to Australia he'd had no work there previously But all of a sudden. All of a sudden, he's like running the Melbourne Fashion Fest. You've got to go away to come back. Exactly. And this is the change. By the way, the Dandenong, Dandenong, it's fine. The Dandenong Rangers, it must be said.

And people do, look up O'Linda, everybody. Beautiful place. Check out, O'Linda. O'Linda really stayed with me if I was going to go back to Melbourne ever. Wow, when were you in O'Linda. Well, during, I would do day trips. I would just drive out in Dandenong Ranges and drive around O'Linda. But I was in Q in Melbourne.

Are you living in Q? I adore Q. I adore Q. The Adelaide of Melbourne. What inspired so much affection for the suburb of Q? The hills. The hills of Q. Well, it's one of the places you can be close to the city and you can get up on,

there's a little topography in Q. That is true. Near the Yarra Bend, is that where you know? Well, that's sort of, that's, yes, because during COVID, we were locked in there. And we would walk up Gladstone Street. You were in Melbourne in COVID. Well, yes, until the second big lockdown. And then Dan Andrews was going, it's six weeks, we're going to lock down.

And in South Australia, where we're from, and I still had a driver's license because I hadn't bothered to update it. They said it's two weeks for people in, you know, when you come from interstate, it's two weeks. Yeah. So I thought, good golly gosh, we'll go to two weeks. We'll have four weeks in the sun. And we loaded our family into the car, and we drove, we just drove all night. My wife was pregnant with our second child at that time. How pregnant was she?

quite quite we had to leave the doctor who was going to deliver the next child we've done all the meetings vaginal vinyl yeah yeah yeah he's good at feedback he was uh he's a rhodesian south african man yeah and I remember well that's a

rodidisha that gets very pernickety but excuse me but the uh the man it was black lives matter and I mid 2020 yes We had a good conversation about that.

But I won't, I mean, I cannot, he did not end up delivering our child. But if you could find vaginal, I'm told he's the very best. He'll do, he'll do breach. Wow. He'll do breach. The second baby was born in Adelaide? Second baby was, yes, second and third. Now where, where are you going now?

What are you going to do? What am I doing? I've been in Portland and now I'm going to Houston with you. Yes. And then I'll be in L.A. for a bit. I'm doing a three-day work. shop with a guy called Dr. Brown. Phil?

Yeah, Phil Berger. Did you ever hang out with Phil? No. Phil was going to be in a musical or mine at one point. Really? Yeah, he was going to be a stand-in. That's so fun. That's a bit of fun.

Dr. I didn't know he was doing a workshop. Where's the workshop in L.A.? It's in L.A. Tell him I love him. You may not remember me. That was one of the most important creative, man. It would have been 14 years ago. Is that where you met your now wife?

Well, that was about eight years ago at a different festival. but I remember he came to Adelaide. He was doing the fringe and the old tuxedo cat. It was my, man, it might have been 14, 15 years ago. I saw his first Dr. Brown show in Australia. Wow, that was quite successful. And I went back to the second time and a third time. I must have seen it six times.

Really? I don't know how many times I went. I was so infatuated. And he was so funny. He's really got it. He's amazing artist. And it must be said afterwards, however, that there were many. And we'll just have this bit in darkness.

Who cares? But so many people in response to that show went and did the Goliere route. Yeah, well, that's why I left my last job, to go to clown school. Oh, you were a Golierean? Yeah, yeah. How was Golié? Well, I went... Golière, by the way, is the leading French clown instructor.

So, yeah, who's now stopped teaching, in fact. Non. Yes. So I was working, as I told you before, the Supreme Court working on this mushroom lady trial. and six months into the trial or working a little more light up in here so it i don't know if you knew this about me it took me 18 years to finish a law degree many such cases you and am i skill both too many years to finish but i finished it and then i got a job at the supreme court which i didn't think i'd get i just applied because you have to apply to keep your center link to keep your um what do they

call it's crazy yeah your dull money you'd call welfare welfare you have to apply for jobs so i apply for jobs I didn't think I would get, and then I got it, and then I had to do it. You worked the mushroom lady case. Well, then I quit, though, and said, I'm going to go to clown school. I've had enough. I've worked on seven murder trials. It's too much. I've got to get back into comedy.

Did he hit the gong for you? Huh? Did you get gonged by Goliere? I'm told you stand there and try and be funny, and he hits a gong. I didn't even get into Goliere. What? A school that will accept anyone. Well, it's complicated.

It didn't line up. There was another school in Europe called Spy Monkey. a great teacher i tor and many clowns were like well goli is not teaching go with this other guy so then i went with uh spy monkey i tour and also in that neck of the woods but it's been a month there and then came back can i tell you my favorite goliya story sure please is a woman who was training with him to be a clown and he would say you are not fuckable wow he'd hit the guy he hits a gong when you're not being funny yeah hit the gong he'd go you're not fuck a bore yeah You're bang, the next day, you're not fuckabar.

And on graduation day, he went out to her and quietly said, Let me tell you something. You are extremely fuckable. Tell the people where they can find you and what you've got going on. Thank you, James. What have I got going on? You can find me at Mr. Joseph Green on all social media platforms. And if you're in Australia, I'll be doing a show Mushroom Lady and me next year.

Is that really what it's called? Yeah.