The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Coin Laundry Struggle

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

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Coming to you live from my Toyota Sienna at 10.13pm outside of a laundromat, a coin laundry. It is not the closest coin laundry to my house, it is the second coin laundry I have been to tonight. I'm a little annoyed, I wanted the next podcast to be shot in a cool location, but this is the first moment that I've had for a while So we're back in the car We were I'll tear the I got 15 minutes, and then I have to go in and move them into the dryer but I'll tell you the story of what has been happening we moved into a new house and

one of the nice things they do in America is They give you a washer and a dryer in the rental maybe they don't do that all over America America, I don't know. But in the three rentals I've had in America in the last year, they've always given you a me. They haven't given you anything. You know, unless you're my wife or children watching this, in which case they've given it to you as well by extension. Daddy's name is on the lease anyway. I... yeah you got a washer and dryer and that's great. They don't do that in Australia and it's a real pain in the bum when you move because no one wants to move a washing machine. They give you screws that come with the washing machine and then you you know moving screws because the weight of it and the concrete they've got on the bottom for

when it spins. Do you know what I'm talking about? Anyway, there was a washer and a dryer and they seemed fine. They seemed old but fine. They were better than the ones we'd had at the previous place but the landlord at the new place said I'll get you a new washer and a dryer. I didn't even push for it. I didn't even ask. He was, I said, do these work? He said, yeah. But when you like a new one, I said, you may be the greatest landlord of all time. Thank you, sir. Please. So they, he bought like huge, a huge washer and dryer combination, and they are sick.

They're cool. It sings, it's Samsung, you know? And I think it's the trout. Bum, ba-da-da-dum, bum, ba-da-da-da-da-dum, bum, ba-da-da-da-dum, bum, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da. ba da da dum bum ba da da da dum bum ba da da dum bum ba da da da da da da sings you a little shoe bit at the end of the wash cycle. They had to be delivered for some reason at late at night and I was out of the house my wife was there and I said is that alright that these movers come at night and we

you know we were all confused by the situation. Anyway they came they put the washer and dryer in, and then my wife discovered that they were so big, the door doesn't close to the laundry. If we push them really close together, we can really close, we can close the exterior door, but the other door, it won't close all the way, which is a bother.

So she said, can you please take these back? And the guys didn't speak English, so everyone was communicating through Google Translate on their phones apparently. And the guy said, the store room is closed, we have to leave these here now. But we'll leave the other ones here for you too. So now we have like two washers and two dryers in the house and the ones we can use are not plugged in and the other ones are being returned so we we're not using them because they have to be returned and that seems wrong to use something you're going to you know i mean i don't know if we can use them and they can still return so we're not using them either and then at a similar time as this, my children flooded a bathroom.

They just, they were going, it wasn't flooded. It was maybe the landlord was watching this and he liked what I said. That was positive. And I said, we flooded the bathroom and he goes, hold on. But there was a lot of water in the bathroom and, uh, we had to use a bunch of towels to stop it. And then there was just all these wet towels and the wet towels got put in the bath and it's just been a couple days we haven't been able to do laundry we've had these wet towels in the bath and they stink like they've

really developed a scent and I had no garbage bags we're at a garbage I get garbage bags on the way home what if I can get garbage, it's too late. Oh, someone there? Someone poking their head in? Yeah, this is weird. I don't think I've seen doors that open that way on a truck like that before. Maybe there's a good reason for it. All positive. truck like that before maybe there's a good reason for it.

All positive. Where was I? Where was I? Seriously where was I? Oh yeah I had no garbage bags so I had to just wrestle them into a suitcase and I had like a shopping bag into a suitcase. And I have like a shopping bag, and a shopping bag leaked over the carpet. That was gross. Anyway, I managed to get them to a laundromat. And then I only had like $100 note.

And I picked that laundromat because it said it used card. And then I got there, and I was like, this card machine doesn't work. And the guy in charge of the laundromat was like, yeah, doesn't work. Sorry. I've talked to my wife about it. It doesn't work. I said, can you break a hundred? He said, no, I walked over to the, there's a super Mercado nearby.

Everyone I've seen over the last hour and a half has been Hispanic. I haven't seen a non Hispanic person. Is it that part of the, I don't think I'm in that part of town, but that's who's using laundromats late at night. Is uh, there's so many children. There's so many. There's so many warm, lovely Hispanic ladies with their like five year olds at the laundromat at night. And I wouldn't have known that had I not had this beautiful adventure

The other place was sketchy the other place had a bad vibe. I when I pulled up there was actually I did see a white guy He was homeless There was a homeless white guy just standing right in front of what I decided to park there and then There's a guy there and I finished the park and he's just eyeballing me through the windshield and I get out of the car Got a cigarette. I go no no, sorry. I don't think I said sorry. I was a little taken aback, I didn't really want to be out and about. I wasn't going to record this, visually. There was going to be no visual component. I'm not happy with this, but I thought, you know, beforehand I was like, oh this will be fun, I'll set up the iPhone in the laundromat. I'll do a special in laundromat episode and

You this is not a safe fun place Laundromat the 24-7 laundromat late at night is not if you can believe it in Austin, Texas is not you know safe enough to bring your kids, but Not you wouldn't leave your iPhone you know far enough away to make an interesting shot anyway I had to leave that laundromat and come over to this laundromat and I'm glad to have the speed Queen my favorite machine I love the speed Queen such a joy to see the speed Queen in motion as I speak watching it speedily queen yeah it's just doing its job she's been a series of regrettable events but it's fun we will have I don't

know what's gonna happen to the suitcase I'm just gonna leave it outside it's fun, we will have, I don't know what's gonna happen to the suitcase, I'm just gonna leave it outside, it's gonna stink. When? I think maybe I just have a personality type where this is the life I have and these are the things that will keep happening to me. Jimmy, why did you have to clean the towels now? Because I thought it was a good idea! I could have just left them for a few more days. Were they going to get that more stinky? More stinky? Were they going to get that more stinky? Were they going to get that more stinky? No, they were probably going to sit around the same level of stinky. But I don't want to put them back in the suitcase because of it. Anyway, excuse me. Hello. This is the, it's me. I'm seeing myself reflected

on the window. Excuse me. I'm a little on edge. It's been a long day. It's been a long day. I did a three podcast episodes today with my friends, Eve and Ruby, and that will be coming out as a separate podcast. And my longterm strategy for that is to obtain more woman listeners. I think we're doing very well on the James Donnell Falls Academy and plan, but the algorithm has decided that it's for the boys. And I look at the numbers on YouTube and boy, the podcast is for the boys. And we want the podcast.

I mean, I, I know they're enthusiastic. Look at my, I mean, I've got a haircut recently. It's collapsing now. I've got a very, I'm in a Hispanic place with a Hispanic haircut. These are my people. Los hombres, viva la raza. Oh, I did, I'm doing this podcast to get, you know, with two ladies to get ladies in. And there's an episode up on my Patreon and some people liked it and some people don't

like it. And so this will just keep going. You know if what you're here for is a man having periodic crises in his car don't worry that's not going anywhere and it'll be on a different channel and you don't have to listen to it. But if you have a wife or a girlfriend or a woman friend that you've tried to get to listen to the James Donald Forsman Academy and you send them over there that my woman podcast

maybe they'll like that and maybe it'll be easier they'll tell their woman friends and then we'll get a beautiful woman fan base I gotta say the woman podcast I think it went well as a podcast today as an opportunity that to grab woman listeners I don't think it was successful. We spoke about, I mean what we spoke, there was a lot of period talk of me being very uncomfortable with that and then you know Eve cornered me on, you know, you don't think women should work do you? And I'm going some women, some women should work, women who want to work, not all women want to work. We don't know, you know, what about the men who don't want to work? They women want to work we don't know you

know what about the men who don't want to work they obviously have to work it's disgusting for a man not to work for a woman not to work is beautiful she's in community she's doing things she's raising a family for a man not to work disgusting I don't I don't know that we're gonna get anybody on side with that but we're doing our level best. I have been working on my cover of Linger by the Cranberries to go on work on this album of songs by women so in in the is about there's gonna be a gap now while I go and move my towels, my stinky, hopefully no longer stinky towels from the Speed Queen to the dryer. And while that's happening, please enjoy up to the first chorus, which is all I recorded today, while we took a

break between podcasts and the ladies went off to get some sandwiches. As well they should. Anyway, here's a bit of me singing Linga by the Cranberries. If you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade, I'm sure I'm not being rude, It's just your attitude, staring me apart It's ruining every day I swore I wouldn't truth, and honey so did you So why were you holding a hand? It's not the way we stand Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

But yeah, so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You've got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger? You know, and from there the song will go on And there'll be a, you know I think it's a, there's a bridge.

It's not really as much of a second verse. What an exciting development in songwriting. And then instead of a guitar solo we'll do a scat. We'll do an auto-tune scat I think. Scat-a-do-ba-dwee. We'll do that sort of thing and that'll be a good time had by some. And then once that's out, I don't know what to do. I have not managed to get any other music on the radio.

If you... have the ability to play songs on the radio, maybe you're on a community radio station. Maybe there's a better way to get songs known and heard by people. Previous album did, for me me just fine, just very happy with how that album went, made no money, didn't do anything with it, but it will just persevere, you know, a lot of guys' first albums, nothing happens. Hmm? Fleetwood Mac, they're probably pretty successful, but they got really successful later so that is the you know ah first album turned out to not be love me do but does that mean we don't get a

sergeant Peppers probably just statistically yes the dryer is also a Speed Queen making great use of the Speed Queen Corporation this evening and I got so many quarters. I had to use quarters and they broke my 100 which was so nice of them to do here but I've been looking on the back of the quarters. Whoo! And some very exciting quarters. What have I got here? Oregon? We got Oregon. Very loud out there. And we're singing along as well, are we? That appears to be a Pennsylvania quarter from 1999 still in use. I've noticed that all the quarters, well you won't be able to see there, but if you're American you know that the

quarters have like a bronze line running around them. And I wonder what that is! Thought it was maybe a quarter of different metal in tribute to it being called a quarter. They have gambling machines in there. They've got like little poker machines that kids are playing. Which is, uh... You know, it's good. 10.45 at night, kids on Poke machines. It's so wholesome, such a nice vibe.

I'll tell you this about the dads that I've been seeing tonight in the laundromats. There are a couple of dads, warm, loving fathers, no doubt on the job all day. And here they are with their itty bitty children. And like, can I add, extremely well behaved children, not one badly behaved child, the best, if my kids were here at 10.45, they'd be going crazy.

They're probably going crazy back home now, but here these kids, but you know what, I take that back, I will say, cause there have been times in my life where I don't think I've been with my children late at night at a laundromat but you know it's a there but for the grace of God situation there certainly have been circumstances where that was on the cards I went back and I watched a what if I dropped we'll find out later I suppose I watched a podcast from a year ago where I'm sitting in the car

shouting into... oh yeah, well we'll just make sure... we'll make sure that's locked, hey. Is that locked? Yeah, yeah it's locked now. Alright, well someone's having a big night. Well, let's hope that doesn't um, develop into anything. I was just going to say I was looking at it. I watched two episodes. I watched bits of two episodes. And one was I'd just been to... I was in... Yeah, yeah, I was in South Bend and then the next week I was in Orlando talking about having been in Branson during the week and that was it was an insane

Drive all the way across the country to get to Austin so we could dump our stuff. I think we left all of our stuff at the airport And we arrived on The drive to the airport can that be right? No, it's not right We stayed overnight somewhere and then early in the morning we went off to the airport to go to Orlando So I could open for man and it was uh it was It was nice to look back and say oh life has come down ever so slightly

Not enough But genuinely maybe enough. Like, I think if I'd kept going like that, we all would've, um, we all would've given up and gone home and stayed with our parents and had them hopefully nurse us back to health after the mental collapse. But anyway, this is fun. It's fun to look back in front to see people now. It's not fun. It's not just my heart goes out. I mean, I think this is just what they do. That's just what this family does. It's the father entertaining extremely well behaved children at a laundromat overnight. I think they might. Anyway, I won't go on and on about it.

Ha! Everything going well I listened to the Eurovision song this this week the ones that have come out I think Australia's song is being dropped soon. The songs are dribbling out for Eurovision which I intend to put a bit on and I'll give you some preliminary thoughts now I'm to do a podcast with my friend, Anna Freer, whose taste I trust very much. And you know what I thought would be nice is someone I talk about music a lot with, who I really value his opinion. He's got great taste is Adam Eaget.

And I wonder if Adam Eaget would talk about the upcoming Eurovision and Ari Mati. I think he likes him some Eurovision. And I've got to say one of the contenders this year has got to be Estonia, his homeland. They've put, I think it's Tommy Cash, who I saw years ago, eeeh, about to win the ladle! I remember that song. And he's got a song he's doing, I think he's doing, he's doing very well with his song, which I think is called Espresso, which I just got as a joke because Espresso Is it Espresso the Sabrina Carpenter one or Espresso? Anyways, got a song called I

Think it's called this part. I think I'm getting this right I didn't put together that Sabrina Carpenter had a song about Little Shots of Coffee and then he's doing it a silly song a song a song a song and shant share man excuse me I thought it would be nice to talk to people that you're a vision ahead of putting a bet on my current I don't know a favorite is to win but I had an experience this week where I started having if not dreams then then visions, ideas. I began to see, I thought it was me, I thought it was me and I would start

powdering my face white and I would come out and say, white powdered face and red lipstick. And I thought, that's how I'll go on stage in the future. And I thought, am I doing that? Seems like work, probably not doing that. But one of the songs I liked from Eurovision was by an Italian. It's the Italian entry and then I watched him perform it and he has, I thought, well he has the white face powdered and the red

lipstick. I thought that is... I've had a vision that that man's gonna win Eurovision. That's why they call it Euro's gonna win Eurovision. That's why that's why they call it Eurovision instead of Euro song. Well they can't call it Euro song because that's what they call it in Ireland. I think it's a good song. It's a lot of them are crap. I'll be talking through that with my friend Anna and possibly others at some point on the podcast before I put a bet on. Gotta figure out how big about it. I don't want to lose too much money because I'm gonna get it wrong. But now that I've got to figure out how big of a bet I don't want to lose too much money because I'm going to get it wrong.

But now that I've had my vision, how can we not? Excuse me! Looking down on people doing the slot machines at the laundromat while I, the sophisticated man, think about putting a bet on a song contest in Europe. It's a great song. It has an interesting story. It did not win the selection competition for Eurovision. So in Eurovision, I'll explain this, this may be hugely uninteresting. But I assume there are some people who don't know about the Eurovision Song Contest,

because it's not a big thing in America. Because they're not in it. Um, and they're not allowed to be in it. Why is Australia allowed to be in it? Good question! Okay, every country in Europe, with the exception, at the moment, of I think, Belarus and Russia. I'm not sure if Belarus is still out of it.

But, you know, if you've been a naughty boy, you're not allowed in it. Israel's allowed in it. And that's a lot of finger waving about that. So they come up with their song and then they pick in their country who gets the song. And sometimes the country, you know, they have a board that picks it. And I think SBS in Australia decides who wins from Australia. They just have an internal process. They used to put it out to a public vote, but now they just go, internal process? We will decide who will fail in Europe. Thank

you. You, the people, don't get to decide. We decide who gets destroyed in Europe. And so I don't know who they've picked yet. Anyway, Italy has an open system. Like, you know, they perform, there's a special song contest, San Remo, I think it's called. called they have a special contest and the guy who won turned it down he said I don't want to go I've got touring dates that's more important for me I don't think I would be able to handle mentally the strain of going and I watched him I watched the guy who won and he's in like a woolen vest with his arms out which hitherto I'd only seen cool lesbians in Australia dressed that way.

But he won! And I watched him, he wasn't as good. And this other guy who came second then gets the opportunity to go and he's taken it. And he's the one I had the vision about. And so you go, well James, that's not a good, I mean this guy can't even win Italy. How is he going to win Europe? And let's find out what an exciting venture. It's a story, isn't it?

All right, I'm gonna see if my clothes are dry. I love you, Monsieur, I want you to need your... Man, there are so many. I wish I'd asked for real who were in Luxembourg. I think they were raised as children in Luxembourg and may have Luxembourg citizenship If they would ever consider it because I think they'd be great and I wish Australia would just Get over themselves and send Kieran J. Callanan that would be

Send Kieran J. Callanan send Alex Cameron You know also some guys who don't listen to the podcast maybe there are so many guys to and gals you know send the chats they're not gals send a Emma and the Sniffers they're having a big moment having a big season so many options but they often just saying our last year they sent some weird guitar band but often they will send a I think I've got deep vein thrombosis excuse me I don't know for sure but I went on a plane yesterday and I woke up today with an ache in my leg and it went away all day and now it's

coming back so if I dive a blood clot before the next podcast know that I love you I want you I miss you I need you and what else do I need you to know? I need you to know catamaran catamaran catamaran catamaran ho catamaran ho New podcast coming soon working on my new book bombs linger cover coming out get on that Petra I'm gonna buy a boat and Something very exciting on the boat front this week, but I can't tell you about it because it's a secret.

It's not having the catamaran that I'm getting, but it's something.