The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Commemorative Plates

Episode Date: April 2, 2023

Every patron at the end of April will be sent a beautiful, hand painted commemorative paper plate — no matter where in the world you live. Join the Patreon today and contribute to another man’s quest for boat ownership: maybe https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccann Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! Hey, welcome to the show. My name's James Donald Forbes McCann. And this is the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan.

I thought this week about just using AI to make an episode of the show. The chat GPT is doing so well and there are sufficient hours now of episode that I could just upload them all to chat GPT and a voice automator and never work again. And that would be the thinking man's way to make enough money on a podcast is just automate the scripts based on previous scripts and the voice based on previous voices and just upload. Well, see, you can just use the chat GPT to whatever extent you want. I could upload like 100, 150 episodes a day and I could have them all themed just on things that people are searching so that it has a great SEO reach. And even though it'll be mostly nonsensical, most people are so tired, stupid, drug-addled, head-traumatized, they won't know.

They won't know. You'll know because you have become accustomed to a certain level of quality. But I think that's maybe how one could use a chat GPT-AI technology to exponentially have enough money all of a sudden to buy a boat. Could be done. Don't know if anyone's doing it. And the reason I'm not doing it is... I think that it's evil. And I don't know why we haven't destroyed the thinking robots yet before they think too well.

If I was to run on a platform for government, at the moment I think my platform would be let's destroy these thinking robots and the monsters who made them. Anyway, there's this thing called Rocco's... Rocco's? Someone's basilisk. And it's the idea that you shouldn't talk smack about AI because the AI will then look back through time and history and find out who was trying to prevent it from coming into existence and will kill them.

So, I mean, just colours to the mast. I don't care. I'm anti-AI. We shouldn't have it. I'm open to having an just colors to the mast. I don't care. I'm anti-AI. We shouldn't have it. I'm open to having an evolving position on the subject. But I just can't believe that we're letting this happen. I've had one of those big, bleak days about AI. You know, just those days where you go,

ah, will anyone ever need a song again? Anyway, do you ever have those days? Will there ever be a painting now that the most sensual pornography is all given to us by the artificial intelligence? I don't know that we're there yet.

I don't know that we ever should get there. I don't even want to know when it happens. Keep me away. Keep me safe. Anyway, I think we should destroy these thinking machines and the people who are forcing them on us.

Hello, and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. Now we've got to open this meeting. There are some serious things to talk about at the meeting today. I'm recording this ahead of time on the Tuesday. The last podcast came out two days ago and we have some exciting updates since then I want to get ahead and start recording on time ahead of time

freeing up time there'll be a lot of free time when I get an AI to make this podcast let me tell you that okay we open the meeting ding ding ding I call this meeting to order number one the Patreon Okay, we open the meeting. Ding, ding, ding. I call this meeting to order. Number one, the Patreon.

I'm beginning today the new Patreon drive for Patreon members. We've currently, at the time of recording, got 53 members of the Patreon, and we're earning just over $300 a month. This is fabulous, and it allows us to have some videos made by Sam Clark, our first mate and videographer, paying him some money ongoing to make videos. But the more money there is, the more videos we can make,

the more other things we can do too, the more money we can have for other plans, and all that also makes money. So Sam, here's how it works at the moment. Sam makes the YouTube video. He gets $250 a month. The video goes on YouTube, which is then monetized. And YouTube gives me a certain amount of money that month. For example, in this last month, we've had episodes go up. I talked to a man in a laundromat, Andrew Patelli. Great episode. And even better, potentially, episode, let's face it, much, much better. Talked to Hayley from Australian Survivor. So they go up on the YouTube.

So it costs $250 a month to make those videos. And then YouTube gives us about $30 a month to make those videos, and then YouTube gives us about $30 a month. So at the moment, it's a $220 loss per month, but I think at some point that'll turn around. I don't know when. It's at a very early stage. That was the first monetized month, loss $220. Let's see with the exciting videos coming up this month if we can get that to grow and be a little better. But other income stream, of course, is the non-money being paid to Sam Clark Padron money. We've got to grow that.

And so we're having a very special growth drive with second mate, Margot. I recorded a little interview with Margot this week. She came around my house. Her boyfriend, Jack Blanche, was also there. Jack Blanche, repeat guest on the podcast. Here is the chat we had about how we're moving forward to get more people to join the Patreon. I'm joined today by two very special guests in the James Donald Forbes McCann family living area. It's Jack Blanche. Hello.

Suffered a stroke since the last time he was on the podcast. Yes, you did. And it's my producer slash assistant, the wonderful Margot. Hi. Margot, we've been talking about work that you can continue doing for the podcast and I was thinking about this idea for eternal recurrence that I had with Jack on the podcast a few weeks ago. It was a great episode.

I love being on it. And one of them was that I would do things that I'd done in the past and do them better. So one thing I did last year was I had ceramic mugs come out and people got their own mug. It was difficult, you know, organising everybody, but we got – and they were so heavy and i had to send two mugs because one of the mugs i could draw on and one of the mugs i couldn't have

i never told you about the mug i yeah i think you did mention the mug yeah we still just have the one microphone jack wants it back i think it's also worth remembering that was on your podcast that i discovered that you had not given me my mug after some 12 months did i end up giving you the mug that very night you did did you like the mug after some 12 months. Did I end up giving you the mug? That very night you did. Did you like the mug? Yeah, because you remember I had to keep swearing when you were out of the car because you were too tired to eat. I don't remember that episode.

The important thing. It's the only episode that I listened to because I was interested in listening to you. Young hearts run free. Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me. We're going to put Margot to work on a new plan for the Patreons. Everyone who's a Patreon by the end of this month, April, this will be coming out in April, so everyone who signs up

and is a member of the month of April gets a very special James Donald Forbes McCann commemorative plate. And Margot's going to help me make them. Isn't that right, Margot? That is correct. I will be doing that. Every James Donald Forbes McCann commemorative plate is entirely unique and handmade.

And Margot had an idea about these plates that could make them more affordable to send out and make. Margot, what is the plan? Is this the fact that they're made out of... Commemorative paper plates, which will be much easier to send out. But we do have paints to paint them with. Yes. Yeah, I'll be painting the plates and each one of them will have a different message

for each of the special subscribers. Isn't that the joy that we have? You get your very own signed and we can put the seal on the back of them? The print that I made for the T-shirts will also... Yeah. Yeah, so it'll... You're getting so much value in each commemorative plate, 100% free for everyone who signs up to the Patreon.

Even if you sign up for one month. The James Donald Paul McCann plate plan. Yes. Yes, or as I'm calling it, the JDFM CPCP. Sounds like a communist party. It does sound like the Russian guy. James Donald, Forbes, McCann, catamaran plan, commemorative plates. Each has a different picture and design.

Maybe you could have a JDFM CPCP. But the important thing is... No, we absolutely wouldn't do that. The important thing is Margot's going to help me make them. I'll paint some of them. You can paint some of them. I'll sign all of them. We'll put the seal.

Everyone who's a member, Margot's a much, you get a better one if Margot makes it, you know. I saw one that you did earlier, James, and it was pretty fantastic. They're pretty great. Yeah. Your artistic skills are nearly as good as mine, if not better. Good enough to eat off of. You wouldn't want to be eating off these plates.

We're using a lead-based paint and you will become disabled. The important thing is you sign up to the Patreon now. There's a link below. You can sign up for one month, pay $5, and I will send you a plate. I'll lose money on that plate. We'll lose time and money, But you deserve it for getting involved. If I unsubscribe as a Patreon now, will I still get the plate? No.

At the end of April, I'm just going to check everyone who's a member at the end of April, and they'll get plates. So you're telling me I have to give you at least $15 more until I get a plate? I don't know how much you're signed up for at the moment and I appreciate that you are. We've got 53 patrons at the moment, so Margot has her workout out for her. But I'm hoping wouldn't it be nice if we got to, just random number here, 100

patrons by the end of April. Margot, 100 plates for us to make. By the end of April? At the end of April we'll see how many there are and then we'll start making them. So we've got some time. When's the deadline for getting them sent?

When will we send them out? My God, let's not tie ourselves to anything. No, no, no, no, no. Let's not be tied too closely to dates on. We don't know what the production, we don't know how long it takes. It may not take that. It's just paper.

It may. No, I think we'll manage to do a sitting. I did one before. It took me about 15 minutes. But if I worked a little harder on it, I could get up to a half an hour's worth of value. Me personally, you'd be quicker. I don't know. The important thing is at the end of April, we'll figure it out and then we'll send them out.

Get your commemorative plate. Sign up to the James Donald Forbes McCann Patreon now. Thank you, Margot. and thank you, Jack. Now, issue number two to bring up on the podcast today, finances. Yes, finance. I love finance. Not mediocre ants, only the finest ants. But also money.

So for finances, we have the finances from the Adelaide Fringe. That money has come in. And we made, and I can tell you exactly, actually, how much money we profited at the Adelaide Fringe from the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. The show profited $3,258. That's pretty good. So the net payment was, there are things that are then reimbursed after that that I paid out of hand. Listen, we grossed $8,269.99. That was our gross.

And gross here, for the uninitiated into the world of Remarkable Ants, is the total amount you had rather than the net, which is the minus of the cost. So basically, we made $3,200-something. Now, of that, I've already taken the 200 and something dollars and I've just given that to Margot so she can start doing the things necessary for the plates. So we have a profit of $300. No, what? So we have a profit of $3,000 locked away, not touching that. That's just three grand sitting in the bank account. And then the

remainder on top of that, because it looked messy grand sitting in the bank account. And then the remainder on top of that, because it looked messy, I gave to Margot to start working on the plates. And some of that can cover labor. Gosh, we've got to start doing invoices with Margot. And some of that can cover materials. And then she can figure out that labor, like it'll cost more in the end, I'm sure, but it'll make more in the end as well. And won't it be lovely when people have those glorious commemorative plates? So that basically is the finances updates. The plate work is underway. We've done the preliminary investment for that,

and we've got $3,000 in the bank account for the catamaran plan. If you have any ideas about how you'd like me to use that $3,000 to grow even more money in a prayerful and respectable fashion, don't you be afraid to get in touch. I'll tell you who was afraid to get in touch. Let's move on to issue number three. Knocking on the steering wheel there. The UK, United Kingdom. The previous episode we did, we asked people from the United Kingdom to get in touch with us so that we could start growing a fire and spreading it and making it burn all across the United Kingdom. I'll tell you how many people

from the UK of the six UK listeners that we regularly have, how many of them reached out and got in touch with me. None. Not a single UK listener has reached out and been communicative. Hello? UK listeners, I'm asking you, talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me, UK listeners. If you're out there and you're listening to this in the United Kingdom, reach out and talk to me. Maybe you're listening in Ireland.

Well, I'm sorry, Ireland. I don't want to hear from you right now. Probably want to hear from you in a couple of weeks. But from people in the UK, I've seen that you've downloaded the episode. I looked at the downloads for the last episode. You've downloaded it. You're probably listening to this one. You're a diehard devotee. Is it that you're afraid? Is it that you're afraid to be vulnerable, to make yourself known? You just want to stand in the shadows, watching on, seeing what happens. The way that you United Kingdomers love to control world affairs.

I'm begging you, UK listeners, get in touch. Talk to me. Talk to me. You don't want to get in touch? Well, we have to grow the listenership base in the UK to other people so that they can get in touch and then we can use them to grow other people. We need boots on the ground. We need people who are willing to be conversant. This catamaran plan is not just for me to talk into a microphone. It's a Bernie Sanders-style call to unity.

If real change is to be occurred. Is to be occurred? I don't think that's the way you'd ever phrase that. If we are to affect real change. Ah, that's the sort of thing that those politicians are always saying. If we are to affect real change, we need hearts, minds, and hands

all to come together to help get me a boat. Please, United Kingdom listeners, get in contact. Also, listeners in other parts of the world. Maybe you know someone in the United Kingdom. Maybe you have a friend or, maybe you know someone in the United Kingdom. Maybe you have a friend or a family member who's in the United Kingdom. What I'd like to ask you this week is this. Tell that person in the United Kingdom about the catamaran plan. Reach out to your friends and family in the United Kingdom and say hello.

Or as you say over there in the United Kingdom, top of the morning to your governor and let them know about it. Let them become a big fan and then they can get in contact with me. I don't know what else to do. We have to grow the UK audience. It's something like 80 million English speaking people. Well, it's a country of like 80 million people, so let's say 60 million English-speaking people. Let's get the people who can understand the podcast in the United Kingdom on board. Helping, growing, knowing, showing, blowing, hoeing, Eskimoing, Samoing,

crowing. Samoan. Crowan. Furlowan. Get in touch. Sorry, it's very hot in the vulva. I should get out. I should get on with my day. I just wanted to record this and just say, if you know anyone in the UK, or if you're in the UK, please get in touch. I'm doing my best here. I've been thinking about other ways that I could get in touch with people in the UK without the people getting back

to me. I could go on some United Kingdom podcasts and I've been looking them up. I could use $3,000 to go to the United Kingdom for two weeks and meet as many United Kingdomers as I can. Now is not a great time for me to do that. I've got a lot of gigs coming up. But, man, I just don't know how to grow it in the UK. We've got Canada doing so well. Australia, tremendous. America, so great.

Why do you turn your back on me, Mother England? New Zealand, for your population, pretty impressive. Frankly, don't know that it's a good time for me to travel to New Zealand at the moment. I've seen how you treat unwanted political figures. Not that I necessarily put myself in that category. But I put myself in the category of a man who's trying very hard to conceal just how outspoken politically he is. No, I used to do that.

Now I pretty much, I'm colours to the mask. Listen to enough of the podcast. It's all there. It's all pretty open. United Kingdom listeners, where are you? Man or woman in Aberdeen Swythe? Is it that I'm pronouncing it incorrectly and you don't know if I'm talking to you?

Well, I am. If you're in a Welsh town with a university and it looks something like Aberdeen Swythe, you're the listener. Please get in touch with me. I'm on Instagram. I'm also on YouTube. Just leave a YouTube comment. You know, I think my manager's email is on the website.

I beg you. I'm on the Facebook. Aberdeen Swythe listener. And all the other listeners. Harrow. Please get in touch. Alright. Well, we've all got a lot to do.

I'd like to end this podcast with issue number four that people have been asking me to bring back. And if people tell you to do something, you should do it. A little affirmation. Affirmation. Well, most of the time if people tell you to do something, you should do it. Sometimes they tell you to do it and it's just a terrible thing. It's just a terrible, terrible thing. Affirmation.

You can never forgive yourself for. Hoola doola goodness gracious. Now, affirmation number one. Affirmation. I affirm that I'm going to keep trying to crack the uk six listeners is not enough i will get in contact with some podcasts over there i will try and interview some united kingdom people maybe that's the way to do it we've got like 12 new subscribers to the youtube channel from interviewing hayley from australian

survivor so that's all these new aust Australian Survivor fans now following my YouTube channel. But what if, ah, what if I spoke to some people who are famous in the United Kingdom? And then they came on the podcast and then people in the United Kingdom were looking them up. Ah, now see, that's a plan. I affirm that I will reach out to people who are famous in the United Kingdom. I will write to Craig David. That's my first person. Craig David will be getting an email from me. How about this one? Is his name Stormzy? There's a rapper. I'll be getting in contact with him Tony Blair Nigel Farage

Harry Potter JK Rowling would JK Rowling like to come on the podcast I wonder I'll reach out to JK I'll reach out to I don't know who else is big in the United Kingdom.

But I'll look it up. Maybe I could go and buy... Oh, there's an idea. What I could do is I could go out and buy one of those UK music magazines that I like so much. And I could try and... I don't even have to buy. I could just look it up on the NME or on QMAG or Mojo. I could just look it up on the NME or on QMAG or Mojo,

but I could find like an up-and-coming English band or a Scottish band or a Welsh band or a Cornwaller band. Yes, that's right. I'm a big supporter of Cornwallese independence, and I could interview them, you know? It wouldn't be that popular, but we want to walk that fine line between popular enough to have fans and not so successful that they wouldn't come on the podcast. Although we had Hayley from Survivor on the podcast. Maybe aim for the sky.

You know, I got the most exciting Survivor personality to come on the podcast. Why aim low? Elton John come on the podcast. Dua Lipa. Is she English? come on the podcast. Why aim low? Elton John, come on the podcast. Dua Lipa. Is she English? Come on the podcast. The Rolling Stones. Maybe we could try and get the surviving Beatles to come on.

So many wonderful English people we're going to try and get on. To get more English people listening to the show. And, of course, the rest of the United Kingdom. It's not just the English. But seriously, folks, it's mostly the English, isn't it? There's something a little bit political about British. You know what I'm saying? It keeps the Scottish, it keeps enough of them on side.

But, I mean, come on. Maybe Nicola Sturgeon would like to come on the podcast, or Kate Forbes. I've been reading about her and all of her excellent ideas. So many wonderful people to come on the show. I'm not going to say those ideas in New Zealand or people will attack you. So many great English and English Plus people to come on the show. Please get in contact if you're a UK listener.

I affirm, sorry, this is meant to be affirmations. I affirm, I'll keep trying. I'll keep my head held high. I will be a responsible steward of the $3,000 that the people who came to my Adelaide Fringe show have entrusted in me to use towards boat ownership. I will not fritter it.

I will not squander it. I might buy some precious metals because I'm afraid of inflation eroding that $3,000. But then I can't really use it for anything. Anyway, I don't want to speculate, but I don't like our currency. Anyway, listen. Excuse me. I'm getting in my own way. Affirmations! I'm going to be clearer, better, more productive. Picking a cage on antibiotics, or was it a rat? I don't know. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I want you. Don't forget to join that Patreon to get, if you're a Patreon member at the end of

April, you will get a beautiful commemorative plate mailed out to you no matter where you are in the world. The James Donald Paul McCann plate. Even if you're in the United Kingdom. Currently, I don't know if we have any United Kingdom Patreons. I should check that. That should be the first person I get in contact with, really. All right, I'll check that out.

Thank you, everybody. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I want you. United Kingdom, please get in. I'm asking you again. Once again, I am asking the people of the United Kingdom to get in touch with me to grow the United Kingdom. It's too big a market for me not to tap in and get money from. Oh, and then use that money to buy a boat. I affirm that we're going to get that boat. I affirm it. Affirmations, we're going to be our best selves.

We're going to work hard. We're going to get well. I'm going to rest up my toe. I went for a walk in the forest today, and I think I've got a broken toe, and that was no way to treat my toe with dignity and respect. I will treat myself with dignity and respect. I will.

I hope you have a wonderful Lent. If Lent is still going while you're listening to this. And we're all looking forward to having a wonderful, wonderful Easter. God bless you. God keep you. I miss you. I love you. I need you.

I want you. Catamaran Ho. If you're in the United Kingdom, please get in touch. Join that Patreon. Get yourself a commemorative plate. Good night, everybody. unused data roll over to the following month. Every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. Hey, it's Mitch from SideNote Podcast, and I'm here to tell you about the new Google Pixel 9, powered by Gemini. Anyone who knows me knows the Pixel has always been my favorite out of

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