The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Episode 4: Dusty’s Napkin #1

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

Purchase a piece of history, and bid on Dusty’s Napkin #1:https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/373878674826The art auction gets closer every day, as it will continue to do until the evening of Feb 10, after which point it will get further and further away. If you’re in Adelaide, want to buy art, and are blithely indifferent to the plague, come to the art auction:https://fb.me/e/22nxE5tXUWe are joined on the podcast today by Dusty Rich. We discuss his napkin, boat licences, and raising a child.If you yearn to contribute financially to the catamaran, join the patreon and reap glorious benefits.www.patreon.com/jdfmccann Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! As a Fizz member, you can look forward to

free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month. Every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at Fizz.ca. Hey, it's Mitch from SideNote Podcast, and I'm here to tell you about the new Google Pixel 9 powered by Gemini. Anyone who knows me knows the Pixel has always been my favorite out of all the phones I've ever had. Now, with Gemini built in, it's basically my personal AI assistant. Since I'm truly terrible at keeping up with emails,

I use Gemini to give me summaries of my inbox, which is a lifesaver. And if I'm feeling stuck creatively, I just ask Gemini for help and bam, instant inspiration. You can learn more about Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com. This episode is brought to you by Dusty's Napkin No. 1. Available on eBay now. Drawn by the celebrated Dusty Rich. He's an artist slash comedian who lives in Brisbane. But he's from South Africa originally. And that's the sort of thing you can really see in the beautiful, powerful, artistic work that he is. And that's the sort of thing you can really see into the beautiful, powerful,

artistic work that is Dusty's Napkin number one. Available on eBay now. Dusty's art sells for not insubstantial amounts of money. And this very important piece, well, I'd like to think it's worth even more. I'm not a financial advisor, so it don't. But I reckon it's going to be worth more, especially if this podcast takes off. And if you want to buy Dusty's napkin number two, come along to the art auction we're throwing Feb 10 at the Howling Owl. It is so nice, isn't it, to have an ad. To start the show with an ad. Some people might say, I want to stay real.

I don't want to sell out, man. I don't want to be commercial. I don't want to turn this into a money-making enterprise. Ha ha! Not here. Not on the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. This is exclusively a sellout enterprise. This is the one and only self-avowed catamaran buying podcast on,

at least that I have heard of. Someone else might be doing it somewhere else, but this, for me, this is the only one I know about. And we love having ads. We love making money because all the money we make on the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan goes towards me buying a catamaran. And it feels good to have an ad, even if that ad is for a product that I am generating by stealing someone's napkin and selling it on eBay. And an event that I'm doing after that to now sell a huge amount of art. So this art auction, February 10, this is getting out of control. We've got all these wonderful artists, and we're going to auction their work, and some of them, they go for huge amounts of money.

Like, I now have to find their buyers to bring them to the auction to buy their work. It's just,o, whoo. That's what I'm feeling right now. I feel like whoo. It's a lot. So thank you for listening. That was where this podcast started was the people listening. I just have to ground myself, you know.

As we move into the giddy worlds of high finance and art auctions, I've got to remember where this podcast started. A manic episode where I discovered that the word McCann rhymed with the word catamaran and the word plan. Sometimes you have to take it back to the beginning. It was a happenstance rhyme and a dream that I had. And we've got listeners. And we've got ads. And we've got community. Okay. That's enough rambling from me.

Let's declare this meeting open. Item number one, an interview with Dusty Rich. This wonderful napkin that you drew at a gig that I was at. Not a well-attended gig no um a very weird gig in a brewery yeah and you were emceeing i may i just say what a wonderful job you did emceeing and bringing a very strange energy to that room it was great yeah but um you just had a child i think you were you're in the first few months your child was not smiling yet you just had a baby yes so that would have been that would have been some two months ago

or some change two three months ago at this point two three months ago yeah you're getting smiles now has it if you turned the corner yeah we're getting laughs we're getting full-on like laugh fits which is like it is a real dopamine injection oh it's incredible how that and it works exactly like any other drug where that you your life is your laugh is terrible and the raising of the baby is the worst thing I've ever done. And then she laughs and you get that hit of cocaine, that beautiful family cocaine, and then you forget all about how horrible it is. Family cocaine is a good name for something. Charles Manson, that was his next single he was about to do.

Family cocaine. But it's incredible. I remember my dad said it's like the day before you're ready to leave that baby by the side of the road, they smile at you. And it's a little, keeps you in the game. But this was done just before this napkin, just before that moment happened, when you're in the pit of despair. And for people who can't see, which is everybody, because there's no visual component to this,

people who can't see which is everybody because there's no visual component to this the the front side of the napkin is a comedian uh skull with his head on fire and he's saying this career is killing me and he has comedy written underneath and then on the other side it's like an alien baby figure yeah some tubby little tubby little one-eyed alien thing, which I know. I mean, these were automatic sketches. It's not something I would. This was just what, sometimes that's where the best art comes from, like leaves growing from a tree. So too does the best art spring from the subconscious.

I mean, to me, this is very clearly a man who, you know, you had a big South African comedied career going, big things moving for you. You moved to Brisbane, Australia, which, while a wonderful place to do comedy, is not where institutional show business lives. Nope. And it's not an easy place to get ahead and make money. And then at the same time, you have this child that is not giving you anything back.

And I think these two pieces really work in conversation with each other to explain a place that I have been twice. Not to mention. Having that child and going. I mean, we haven't mentioned at all the fact that like there's this, I don't know if you've read the news, but this global pandemic. Oh, tell me more about this global pandemic. I haven't heard.

Well, apparently it gives you the sniffles. And the entire world has lost its collective shit. So having the baby, having my career restarted, and now having my career obliterated. Here's my thought on how we make money from your napkin together. First of all, I'm in possession of the napkin, but what I'd like to do is a 50 50 split on all proceeds from the napkin yeah half to you half to the boat and i will this is my i don't run a

charity but it's a non-for-profit no i completely agree with those terms you currently have an nft on you of mine a physical nft real world nft i'm trying to funge it yeah yeah funge the so i'm going to cut it in two. Yeah. By the way. The back and the front. It's on both sides. It's two pieces.

It's a diptych, I think that's called, in the art world. Yes. So I'm going to cut it in two, frame both of them. And here was my thinking. I'm having an art auction

on Feb 10 if the government doesn't lock everything down. And I've got all these other... So I found this and then I just, on a whim, I wrote to 15 artists And I've got all these other, like, so I found this and then I just, on a whim, I like wrote to like 15 artists and then a bunch of them said, yeah, auction my work too. So I'm like, that's happening.

So here's my thought. I'm going to auction one of them off on the night. Yeah. And the other one we put on the internet to auction simultaneously. But that way we can both promote that one. And you've got a big fan base of people who love your work. I was up in Cairns doing the gigs there. People have these dusty badges everywhere.

Yeah. People who really framed pictures of yours. And that's an important market to tap into. I think people right around Australia and perhaps South Africa would like to buy one of these beautiful napkins. I would love to do what I can. I mean, fan base is such a convoluted word. But we'll see if they come out.

We'll see if they come out and put some dollars on it. So, Dusty to promote online one napkin. And it should be my first promotion of the year. Here we go. Because I haven't

touched social media since December. Which one do you think I think this baby with the Y I think that's artsy

and I think we can definitely move that at the in-person auction. Yeah. I think comedy Flaming Skull This Crew Is Killing Me that think comedy, flaming skull, this crew is killing me. That will appeal to a big, big chunk of your audience.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so because they know. Hey, that's true. Yeah. So if we... So I'll frame that up. I'll take some photos of that and I'll send that to you. Perfect.

I will say, very quickly, you want to join the sailing club? I am in. Done. I'm getting incredibly seasick, but I have pills for them, and I also have a boat license. I do not have a boat license, and I don't even know if I get seasick because I've not been on a boat. Okay, well, I've got a boat license, so I can show you the ropes, literally.

I can show you the ropes, literally. Next time I'm there, next time I'm in Brisbane, I will take you up on the offer of a sailing lesson. And also, you don't have to get on the boat if you don't have your pills. Oh, no, no, no. You don't have to. You can just hang out. Let me clarify.

I don't have a sailing license. I have a boat license, which is marine license. I have a marine license. What does it qualify you to do? To motorboat old ladies. No. what does it qualify you to do a motor to motorboat old ladies no it's just i got it's a very funny story because it's but it's a long story but like i got it because my in-laws came my in-laws came and they were like they wanted to get to hire a boat and

and they my father-in-law's got a license because he's a man's man but he's like oh my license will work and i'm like your license is in a different country it's not gonna work and and he's like no it will it will it definitely will and i'm like okay he arrives obviously he gets me to phone them and just say the numbers on his license and they're like yeah they're like what the f**k we don't know what those are so i studied i studied the saturday because you can get it online and then you have to go do a practical test so i this was i didn't know that we were leaving to go on this holiday on the tuesday i got online studied did the theory test on the sunday got 100 they went and did the practical test in redlands redland bay up the up the way

up from brisbane on the monday, like literally they had one spot open. I went and did the test. I had never been on a boat. I'd never even been on a boat. Then I went and did theory on Sunday, practical on Monday, and I had my license on Tuesday. And we hired a boat on the Thursday in the Whitsundays. And I took this family, my family,

out on a boat into the ocean with the only ever experience I had was a three-hour practical test. That's what I'm talking about. This is the level of freedom and non-bureaucracy that comes with the boat. I did not know it was that easy to get a boat license. All right, I'm on that. I've got a boat license doable you got it bro you got it and

it's really not that hard it's literally i think it's the most common sense test i've ever done man i took a long time getting my driver's license i was a i was a long long time i was not until the birth of the first child i didn't say dude the guy that was with me in the practical test this guy so there's this one thing you have to do is you throw a buoy over and you have to use this like long thing that you catch the buoy with but the whole trick is to like you always have to have someone in the boat you have to point to the person that's gone overboard and then you have to come alongside you have to come alongside and be able to hook the person with this gaff this gaff type thing and so that was the one part in the test that you had to

pass right i do it i do it i go around i do the procedures i make sure one of them is pointing i go to the buoy grab it put in the boat passed the guy that was with me drove over the buoy three times he drove over the buoy he got the rope the rope that was on the buoy that you're supposed to get. He got that tangled in the propeller. We had to untangle it out of the propeller. That got passed. That got passed. All right. He got his license.

So not even a very high standard for being able to save somebody. Going over people's heads. When you go out on your boat and you're around other boats, or you go, maybe because you got your boat license, you go to some tourism place where there are other boats, stay the fuck away from everyone because everyone gets their license. Wonderful stuff there. Moving on to item number two on the agenda, the eBay sales of the napkin.

Dusty's napkin number one, beautiful drawing by Dusty Rich on a napkin, comma, conveying pain pain that is up right now on ebay it's just gone live it's auctioning for the next 10 days start time 17 jan 2022 12 noon australian easter daylight savings time and a starting price just ten dollars just ten dollars for your piece of history until other people start bidding on it. So if you want to find it, just go to eBay, search for Dusty's Napkin No. 1. I've listed it as, well, I can read out the description that I've got here. Dusty's Napkin No. 1, a sensational napkin drawing by comedian slash artist Dusty Rich.

It depicts a comedy skeleton with his head on fire, expressing that his career is killing him. This is the napkin, I put the in italics, as described on the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan podcast. I put that in bold. Comes with a beautiful frame, which I picked up from Savers. So everybody knows how special and valuable your new napkin is 50% of the proceeds will go towards James Donald Forbes McCann's journey to boat ownership 50% of the proceeds will be paid to Dusty Rich the napkin has never been used to mop up food nobody has ever blown their nose into the napkin although a couple times I've thought about it when it was on my desk but I reached for a different napkin instead every time however do note the napkin although a couple times i've thought about it when it was on my desk but i reached for a different napkin instead every time however do note the napkin has been in several pockets

so bits of it are slightly uh crumply but i think that adds to the artistic expression of the napkin so that's it dusty's napkin number one available right now on on eBay for you to go out and put a bid on. And that'll close in 10 days. So that'll be substantially before the rest of the auction that this one item closes. And thank goodness, because then hopefully we can use some of the money from this napkin towards paying for what is turning out to be a hugely, hugely involved art auction. Ah! It's... Let's have item number three, the final item, Affirmations. I will not have a panic attack about this art auction.

I will relax, I will organise it properly, and I will see to it that the right number of wealthy, art-loving individuals turn up. I will not allow myself to think that we're going into a lockdown because of the Omicron and that the art auction will get cancelled. I won't think that. Or, you know what, if that does happen, I'll find a way of moving it all online. How you like that, Omicron? Yes, I affirm that I'm going to keep making this

podcast. I'm going to keep working on the art auction. I'm going to find a way to get free wine for people who come to the auction. That's what they do at art auctions and art, you know, shows. There's always wine that's free to the people there. Hopefully that's also free to the people throwing the auction. And these wineries just donate their wine. Let's find out. Maybe something with canapes. Is that what they're called? Little treats on plates.

Maybe we could have that at the auction too. Oh, I'd like, yes, here's an affirmation. I will find a little hammer. Because if I'm running the auction, if I'm the auctioneer, oh, I shall require a little hammer. A little hammer to bring down. Otherwise, things aren't going under the hammer. A little hammer.

Oh, we're going to keep working. We're going to keep feeling good. We're going to sell this napkin. I want to thank you, dear listener, for tuning in. I want to thank Dusty Rich for getting behind this napkin. I want to thank you, dear listener, for tuning in. I want to thank Dusty Rich for getting behind this napkin. I want to thank all the artists who are donating their art

to the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan slash Lonely's art auction coming up Feb 10 at the Howling Owl. I want to thank everybody at the Howling Owl for making that happen. I love you. We've got a Patreon. If you'd like to hear more, get some behind-the-scenes stuff going on the Patreon.

That's www.patreon.com slash jdfmccann, if you'd like to find that. Ready now for your purchase. Unless you're listening to this after the 10 days, in which case, I wonder how it went. Okay. I love you very much. Keep it real. Believe in yourself. Catamaran ho.

Woo!