The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Episode 5: I quit my job

Episode Date: January 23, 2022

I quit my job. In a few weeks time, I'll just be doing freelance work, stand up comedy, and catamaran plans.There are still a few days left to bid on Dusty’s Napkin #1:https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/373878674826The art auction gets closer every day, as it will continue to do until the evening of Feb 10, after which point it will get further and further away. If you’re in Adelaide, want to buy art, and are blithely indifferent to the plague, come to the art auction:https://fb.me/e/22nxE5tXUIf you yearn to contribute financially to the catamaran, join the patreon and reap glorious benefits.www.patreon.com/jdfmccann Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! Oh, hello, and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. It is a joy, it is a treasure, it is a delight to me to have you here

for this general meeting, just you and I today. Dear listener, no guest. I declare the meeting open. Item number one, the time is 4.45am, Monday morning, much too early. But there was just no other time to do it. I was going to do it last night, but I came home after a long day with the family in Strathalbyn, where we happened to be, looking at Strathalbyn, having a wonderful time. My head hit the pillow and I was out. So this is the

absolutely last opportunity I have to record a podcast. It feels like back in the old commercial radio days when I'd have to get up at 4.45am to record a breakfast show. The main difference, of course, being doing a commercial radio show, you don't have to keep your voice down so as not to wake your entire family. So that's one big difference. Also, you're full of Red Bull on a commercial radio show, and I'm full of nothing but the passion to deliver this general meeting of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran plan to my wonderful and adoring listeners. Boy, oh boy, I need a little wake up. I know what I'll do. Here's what I'll do. Here's what I'll do. How may I help you?

Yes, hello. Excuse me. I'd like to just order the first four notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, please. And which movement would that be, sir? What's the same question? First movement, thank you. Very well. Oh, that has hit the spot. That has hit just the right spot.

You know what? I'm going to be a little greedy. Could I please have the next four notes as well? Thank you. Of course. Is that also the first movement? Yes, the next four notes are the first. What's the same question is that?

Yes, please. Yes, the next four notes are the first. It's the same question. Yes, please. Oh, now, who could fail to be roused by that wake the dead type stuff? Yes, we're up and at it now and we're having a good time. So that's item number one of this agenda. It's too early.

And to remedy this going forward in the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan, I posit that as soon as is practicable, a day is put aside in the week for the recording of the podcast. That's on me. I've got to find a day that I can just go, we're not doing any other work that day. We're just recording the catamaran podcast. We're not even doing other catamaran related work which was the problem this week because so much work has gone into putting together this wonderful art auction more on that soon but i think the podcast must take precedence

that is a central part of the catamaran journey these are procedural measures and need not trouble you but i want you to know that I'm thinking about it. I'm keeping it professional. Keep it professional, baby. Item number two. Item number two, this art auction. We've written up this press release, and if you work in the media, you might be getting this email on your desk around 10 a.m. Even though I'm up, as mentioned, well before 10am, I don't expect people to be reading their emails before then. So at 10am, I'm going to schedule this to go out to all the arts journalists.

First press release, 24 slash 1 slash 2022, Lonely's Fine Art and Collectibles and The Howling Owl present the first annual James Donald Forbes McCann Art Auction. This event will be a rare opportunity to purchase some of the most exciting and sought-after art in South Australia. You know when it goes on like that. It's a press release. It's that sort of thing. I'll read out the one bit of it that I'm really pleased with, though. I quote myself. That's what I'm pleased with. One of the things you can do in press releases is include quotes

so that when the journalist writes up the story, it looks like they've gone to the effort of interviewing you and they look good, but actually you've interviewed yourself and they've merely profited from your industriousness. Really what one should do is just write the whole article for these people. Just make life easier. Anyway, here's the quote that I'm very happy with. Quote, at the first annual James Donald Forbes McCann art auction, and this is I'm the quotee by the way, so I'm, yes. Investors and art lovers will be able to get their hands on paintings by these

soon-to-be household names i mean they won't be household names in every household but certainly i believe they'll be names in the sort of households where people talk about very expensive art exciting time sending that out getting some stories done people coming along to the art auction feb 10 whoo i am stressed i am stressed i mean i wanted to get up in the morning to record this podcast so you would have a podcast to listen to but frankly i'm stressed out enough that i think i would have been awake anyway and why why am I stressed? Well, it's time to let you know with a wonderful piece of news in item number three, I quit my job. I had a full-time job.

I've quit my job. I've handed in notice and I'm just there for a couple more weeks. Boy, oh boy, is quitting this job ever going to free up some days to work on the podcast? Too many days free, if anything. No, look, I'm getting, don't worry about me. Some people will be listening to this and they'll be going, holy dooly, James, are you quitting your job just to work on a catamaran podcast from which you make $85 a month on Patreon? And to that I say, no. No, the catamaran money is sacrosanct. I don't

live on that. I'm just going to freelance more. Hopefully I can make more money with the freelancing than with the full-time job. Hopefully. One never knows with freelancing. Just even saying it out loud gives me a real tightness in the chest when I think about being able to pay my rent. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. I'm going to make more money this way. Hey, here's an affirmation a little early in the podcast. I affirm I'm going to work very, very hard on the freelancing and we're going to make even more money this financial year so that my family is not kicked out on the street. More important ever, really, to get that catamaran so that the family has a place to live when

I can't afford to pay the rent on the house. Ooh, so we've got the art auction coming up and I've quit my job. And, by the way, the Adelaide Fringe is coming up now. So buy tickets to James Donald Forbes McCann's shop, the Adelaide Fringe Aesthetic. Come along to that if you want or not if you don't. My comedy's not for everybody. Which I have discovered, along with many audience members,

over the last ten years. I just keep thinking I'm about to get broader and more accessible. And you know, it keeps not happening. Keep it professional. All right. Item number four. And this is a really thrilling item. Dusty's napkin number one. Dusty's napkin number two, going in the art show that, again,

we've been speaking ever so much about. But Dusty's napkin number one, we put that up on eBay. We had an interview with Dusty last week. I am excited to announce that Dusty's Napkin No. 1, which has three days left on eBay, is currently going for $200. $200 for Dusty's Napkin No. 1. What a bargain. James, did you bid $200 on your own napkin? No, I didn't. Someone else has. It's unbelievable.

Well, it is believable because it's such a great napkin. You know what? We've had 28 bids. We had 28 different bids on Dusty's Napkin number one. Thank you so much to everybody who has bid, especially whichever person has bid $200. The bidding can go on. That napkin can be yours. I'll pop a link in the description here.

Otherwise, just go to eBay and search for Dusty's Napkin No. 1. But let's say, hypothetically, it goes for $200. Let's say $10 in shipping brings it down to $190. That's $95 to Dusty, the artist behind the napkin. That's $95 to the catamaran plan. Add to that, we've got $85 coming through this month through the Patreon. And last month, I think we had something like $50 through the Patreon. So what's that?

What's 95 plus 50 is 145 plus 85. Oh my goodness. What's 50 by the way? $230. $230 is how much is currently projected to be post-sale of Napkin in the kitty towards the catamaran, which is, I think, a tremendous start. Many podcasts wouldn't have any money by this point in their journey. We don't even have enough listeners for ads yet, and we've got $230,

which, now let me get my calculator out, we need for the catamaran, we're aiming for $500,000, so what's that, it's 230 divided by 500,000 times 100, is that how that works, so we're at 0.046% of the way there, which I think is pretty good. That's a pretty good start. You know, depending on how you look at it, that's either a very small number or a pretty impressive big number. You know, that looks to me like about the same probability as a percentage of having an extremely adverse reaction to being vaccinated. So some people would say, hey, that's a very low number. And some people would say, hey, Jimmy, that's a really big number. So whichever way we want to look at it, I'm happy with that number. We're at 0.046%. Great things are happening. Good times are are coming we're on our way we're selling

the napkin we're doing the art auction i've quit my job i love all of you let's just have a couple affirmations at the end here oh i will keep getting up this early in the morning no i won't but wouldn't it be nice if i But wouldn't it be nice if I did? Wouldn't it be nice if I did? The birds are starting to chirp. The aeroplanes are starting to go overhead. The world is waking up. The sun is rearing its merry head.

I will continue. I'll say this. I will get up earlier than I've previously been getting up. How's that for an achievable affirmation? Yes. And I will be diligent in my work as a freelancer. Because you have to be. You don't have to be diligent in your work when you're a full-time employee. You can just lie down in the middle of the office for four hours if you want

and say that you're depressed. And if the boss tries to hassle you over that, you say the job's making you depressed, you go to the HR lady, then the boss is in trouble. But at freelance, there's no boss to talk to. You can't lie on the floor. You just have to work. You've got to be your own boss.

You've got to talk to the HR department in your own heart. And I will do that. I will work hard. And I will run a professional art auction. I believe that. And I will do that. I will work hard and I will run a professional art auction. I believe that and I will not get sick and I will spend more time in Strathalby with my beautiful family.

I want to spend so much time with my family. I'm going to take my wife on a date this week. I think we're going to go and see Dune while that's still in cinemas. We haven't been able to see that. I'm going to take my... You know what? When my daughter wakes up,

my son wakes up, I'm going to take my... You know what? When my daughter wakes up, my son wakes up, I'm going to take them out for coffee. I'll be the one having the coffee. And they will watch me having the coffee. And it will bring them such happiness to see me enjoying that coffee. I affirm. I affirm that I will continue to dominate Wordle.

I've got to be honest. There was a break in this podcast. See if you can see where the edit point was. But there was a little break where I played a little Wordle and I won my Wordle for the day. I got hard in the paint on that Wordle. I won't spoil what the Wordle was, but I had a good time. Good times are coming.

Good times are coming. I love you. I'm grateful for you. We're going to make this catamaran plan happen. It's a beautiful, beautiful world. I love you all. Catamaran ho, baby. This episode is brought to you by Google Pixel. I'm Jessi Cruikshank. I host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend. I also have three kids. I need help making every day easier. So I switched to Google Pixel.

It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant. Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera. I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9. Learn more at store.google.com.