The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Episode 9: Huge Cash Giveaway

Episode Date: February 20, 2022

Get your money! Join in on the huge cash giveaway! Share the podcastTag me so I can see itDM me your bank details/paypall informationI will send you one Australian dollarHere is my instagram account,@jdfmccann: https://www.instagram.com/jdfmccannLimit one dollar per person! (It's a huge cash giveaway in that a huge number of people are going to be given cash, not in that it is a huge amount of money being given away. I think that 100 people, in a certain context, is a huge number of people. If one hundred people were with you in a public toilet cubicle, that would probably seem like a very big number of people indeed). Join the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccannAlso, you can come and see me at the Adelaide fringe if you like: https://adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/james-donald-forbes-mccann-aesthetic-af2022 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! The Adelaide Fringe is in full swing. I'm doing shows, I'm doing aestheticesthetic 845 most nights of the week

at the Rhino Room downstairs in the Drama Llama. And look, I'm having a great time. It's a wonderful festival. My show almost has an ending, and I think it will by the next time I do it. And what I'm loving most of all is when I'm just walking around the streets of Adelaide. The number of people who shout out to me,

man, I hope you get that catamaran. I've had maybe eight people in two days either stop me or loudly project at me. Hey man, you're going to get that catamaran, man. Something like that. And it is beautiful and heartfelt and I love it. And for you, I'm going to get that catamaran. But also, mostly for me, I'm going to get the catamaran. That's going to be my catamaran. I'm just so happy to have your support and your love. By all means, come along to the show. Aesthetic, it's wonderful to have you there. But even more than that, what I love having is your well wishes of catamaran ownership in the future for me. And it's gotten me thinking. We need to grow this podcast with that level of enthusiasm.

Thusiasm? Did I say thusiasm? With that level of thusiasm. Enthusiasm. Man, I wonder if thusiasm means the opposite. It probably doesn't mean anything. It's probably just a word you say when you're very hungover. Now, listen. Here's my idea that I've had.

I love the passion of those eight people. But if we're going to get this catamaran and we're going to get the money, we need something like 80,000 people to be on board. Here's my idea on how to grow the podcast and how to reward all the wonderful listeners that we do have. Are you ready? Woo! The James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan huge cash giveaway. That's what we're doing. We're doing the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. Huge cash giveaway. How does that work? How much cash is there to give away? All will be revealed in the first item of business, the James Donald Forbes McCann huge cash giveaway.

I sat down with my manager, Jake Smith, who's in town for me doing this aesthetic show, and I explained to him my idea. Here's our chat. aesthetic show and i explained to him my idea here's our chat here's the idea okay the podcast is growing slowly and steadily i'm going to sit down okay why don't you why don't you consider investing with the first bit of your money in a microphone cable it's longer than six inches what is is that even? I have another one. That's a patch cable. Now listen. Here's my idea.

The podcast, I'm looking at the stats. I look at the analytics a lot. Yes. More than I make the podcast, I look at the analytics for the podcast. Yes. Growth is fine. If this were a normal podcast, we'd go like, hoolidooly, we're going to have several thousand downloads per episode by the middle

of the year. Sure. That's not enough. If I'm not just some schmo with a podcast building an audience, I don't give a damn about having a podcast. I care about having a boat. And to have the boat we need growth to kick up a little bit.

So I was looking at advertising that we could have for the boat we need growth uh-huh to kick up a little bit so i was looking at advertising that we could have for the boat podcast okay and we have three thousand dollars roughly well where'd you get this three thousand from uh we've got about two and a half thousand from the art auction okay and with the patreon we're getting over a hundred dollars a month we're kicking into our third month we've got 14 patrons now you have 14 14 patrons? Yeah. Mate, we're great. Again, for a normal podcast, and we love the patrons. We love all the people who listen. Oh, we're so happy with that.

There's not enough to get a boat, right? It has to kick up. So we sold Dusty's napkin number one. That was about $75 that we ended up with after postage and sending Dusty his money. Sold for $200. And we've got a re-down piece. We've got a Joe from Cairns piece. Yes.

We've got another half of a Dusty napkin, if I can find it somewhere here, and we have another painting as well. So we have assets. Okay. So I'm just calling it $3,000. I don't want to spend all that money. Okay.

$2,500 I'd like to put into an investment to grow to $5,000. Okay. I don't know what that is yet. Might be hats might be i'm thinking crypto i mean stock market and you go hats i've got very strict catholic morality around what we're allowed to do to make the money so what stock stocks no good if it's a good company that i can believe in sure but where do you where do you stand with gambling

Socks no good? If it's a good company that I can believe in, sure. But where do you stand with gambling? Well, I love to do it, but I don't think we should use that. The podcast. Now. Okay. But we'll look at that later.

The important thing now is advertising money. Now, we have advertisements for erection tablets. Yes. I think Tasmania is advertising on the podcast. We have some advertisers. We get about $25 per thousand listeners to the podcast. But at the moment. And that's great.

And we're growing. It's just not enough. So I looked at advertising. Now you can buy on the less renowned podcast platforms. Like Podbean. I don't know if it is Podbean. But things like Podbean. Downcast is one of them.

What an upsetting name that is. You can spend money to have like banner ads and they go, oh, like you spend, you know, $800 here and for a week and 200 new people will click on your podcast. I just think it seems pricey and I don't want to spend that. So we can afford it. We actually can afford it, but I don't want to. Okay. So here's my plan. Okay. So here's my plan. Okay.

Because we do have a few hundred pretty committed listeners to grow that out. Here's my plan. The James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. Huge cash giveaway. I absolutely love this. Okay. Because I thought, I was thinking, I'm like, okay, what about a referral thing? So you could get a referral. Maybe we could this. Okay. Because I thought, I was thinking, I'm like, okay, what about a referral thing? So you could get a referral.

Maybe we could tag. Yeah. We could maybe tag the podcast link with a, I can look and see if ACAST can do like a referral code. That's too complicated. I don't even understand what any of that means. No, but I'm saying, I'm saying that that means that you could measure. So say you've got, you create influences within your own listenership. That's what I'm saying.

So you've got, who's a listener that you know listens to this? First name only. Sam, first ever guest to the podcast. Sam. Sam listens. Now, you give him a code and it's called Sam or whatever. And then he sends that link and you can track how many people come back and you go, look at that.

And if you refer 10 new people, then you get money. Or you want to just do a... How are you going to determine the cash? It sounds so complicated. I don't want to measure it yeah but that's what I'm here for give me a good idea here's my plan here's my plan

huge cash and by the way huge cash giveaway as in you don't get a chance of winning a huge amount of cash we give chance you're in South Australia now

we say chance with a round a day you don't win an opportunity to win a lot of money. We give a very small amount of money to a lot of people. That's my thought. So we put aside $100. The first 100 people to share the podcast on their stories on Instagram get $1. So here's how it works everybody

tag share the podcast share a link to the podcast on your Instagram stories Spotify Apple Music whatever you like share it

tag me DM me your bank details I will send the first hundred people a dollar because there's so much you can do with a dollar frozen coke at McDonald's that's worth a share. Let's not pretend you're doing more work than you are to share it.

But I'm saying it's a guaranteed dollar. But not like you win your chance with $6 million. No, you get a dollar. Frozen Coke, that's a dollar. You could buy two and a half soft serve ice creams at McDonald's. You could buy a fraction of a cheeseburger. You could have a spin on a slot machine. You could group together with friends who have also shared on this.

Absolutely. They don't even have to be listeners, do they? So what if they go? So me, me, Jake Smith, and I say, okay, I go to 10 of my, I don't have 10 friends, 10 of my constituents. And I say, share I say share this share this and you'll get a dollar each and then we have

10 dollars together and then we yeah I don't as long as it ends up on a story and that the story appears to be on an

Instagram page of a real person so you know that you because I can sort of tell if it's not a real person if it's just someone who's like I want sex in your area

I'm going to be like I'm not giving you a dollar you're not real no one wants sex in your area. I'm going to be like, I'm not giving you a dollar. You're not real. No one wants sex in my area. And what if, let's add a nice thing, what if you were to donate it to them, or sorry,

give it to them or to a charity? Or to a charity? Yeah. People can use their dollar however they want. If once you get your dollar, if you want to spend that dollar going to Woolworths and putting that in the head of a doggie, those big plastic guide doggies, well, that's your business.

I'm not going to put it in a charity of my choosing, which, by the way, would be to purchase more stained glass windows for my church. A feast for the eyes. I think, if you're listening to this, share the podcast now on your Instagram. That's the only one I know how to use is Instagram. I don't know how to do the tickety-tock. Maybe that would be more successful. But share it to the Instagram stories.

DM me. You don't have to put your bank details in the story. You can just direct message that to me. The first hundred people, you're getting a dollar. I love it. The James Donald Forsberg hand. Now, I don't know any legal implications. I don't know if we can claim that

on tax you absolutely can't claim that on tax it's an insane thing it's a giveaway it's advertising yeah but there's

it's also not a cost if you're doing a try to it's a hundred dollars so who gives a fuck okay anything more than that it would be

you'd certainly need to get a receipt imagine you trying to explain the accountant that you pay people one fucking dollar she's coming up

on a podcast in the future I'm gonna have to explain this to her oh my word I'm going to have to explain this to her. Oh my word. I'm definitely claiming it. You can't.

There's not... No, no. We've got to claim it. We've got to claim it. This is a problem for her. I don't care. Imagine that. A hundred little receipts.

A hundred little invoices. Imagine the admin. If you could make it that the admin and it already is the admin is greater than the one dollar. The time to open up your app.

But isn't that fun to think a dollar? Isn't that nice? And you know what? This could also be really good for people. You hear about people in third world countries who might be listening to the podcast who get paid like 30 cents a day

to make shoes at the Nike factory. Well, guess what? You're getting the same dollar. I'm not one of these globalist corporations who's like, oh, you're in Thailand? You get three cents for the same work that we pay a dollar for here. I'm an equal opportunity, fair trade.

Everybody gets the dollar. What about overseas listeners? Absolutely. Have you known how to send money overseas? No. I just thought they would also be on the Commonwealth Bank. Yeah. It's not as simple as BSB and account.

But that's okay. That is a problem for you to discover all right we will figure it out didn't know that no that's okay you've said it now you've committed to it i have australian dollar one australia yes one australian dollar it might be prudent to use paypal for that oh so people just overseas listeners okay get a paypal that's that's what you say overseas listeners can have a paypal dollar australian listeners can get a PayPal. That's what you say. Overseas listeners can have a PayPal dollar. Australian listeners can have a real in-the-bank dollar. Okay.

Well, thank you, Jake, the manager. That actually, I didn't know how selling that was going to go, but that went better than I thought. I think it's a fantastic idea. It's the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran plan. Huge cash giveaway of $1 to 100 people. You know the lottery? They don't give 100 people a prize. How many Div...

This is Div 1 is $1. How many Div 1 winners are there of the lottery every night? It's not 100. Huge cash giveaway. All right. Thank you, Jake Smith. Okay, thank you, Jake. Thank you, Jake Smith, for sounding me out

and getting behind the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. Huge cash giveaway. Here once again is exactly how it works. Right now, if you like, share a link to this podcast to your Instagram stories. You can do that with the link sticker on Instagram. You just copy the http www.web thing. You copy and paste that. You can click on it. Or if you just go to Spotify, you can go to the podcast, click share, and that will share, I think, to your Instagram stories. Look, if you're the sort of person who knows how to do this,

you probably know how to do it. I'm not going to be able to explain to you how to do it. And if you don't know how to do it, talk to a young, groovy person, or, you know, however young people are that use Instagram now. I understand, again, that the TikTok, we'll find a way to use the TikTok in the future. I hear that's where the hip young groovers are.

But for now, just share. a way to use the TikTok in the future. I hear that's where the hip young groovers are. But for now, just share. This is how you get your dollar. No matter where you are in the world, we're going to get you a dollar. Share the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan podcast to your Instagram story. Be a real person. That's number two. And tag me so I can see that you've done it. At JDF McCann.

That's for James Donald Forbes McCann. It's at JDF McCann. Then, on a direct message, you don't have to put your bank details out there into the world, although I don't think that that's scammable. I think the only thing that can happen if you put your bank details out there, this is for if you don't trust me, is that other people can pay you.

So, you can direct message me your bank details and the first hundred people to do it will be getting a dollar. Oh, that was the other thing I meant to say. Once again, if you're from outside of Australia, send me your PayPal information and I will send you the dollar that way. I don't think I have a PayPal at the moment, but I'm going to figure out how that works. Jake made it sound extremely easy. This could really blow up. Maybe it gets done within 10 minutes. Maybe it takes a week.

Maybe it takes two weeks. Maybe it takes six hours. I don't know. But I will not be able to pay more than that first hundred people. So, you know, feel free to share it anyway. And you go, I don't know if I'm one of the first hundred people. I'll get back to everybody when I can. Although I am going for a drive tomorrow. I'll get back to you. I'll let you know what number you are. I'll count it up to a hundred. And then if it goes over a hundred and I don't have any money left to give you

but you still share it you will I thank you I'm very grateful but it's really only those first 100 people that I can pay so that's how we oh

that's how we're going to do it let's do some affirmations some affirmations I think this is going to work affirmations I think this is a good idea and it's going to work affirmation

this is going to work that's myation. I think this is a good idea and it's going to work. Affirmation. This is going to work. That's my affirmation. Affirmation. Affirmation number two. Man, I'd like this podcast to get to the point where it can be about boats again. It's been about money for too long. I just want to talk about boats, man. I want to go on boats. I want to shop for boats. I want to buy boat hats, boat shoes. I want to sail. I want to feel the wind in my hair. I guess I'm taking the boat hat off to feel that. But I just want to talk more about boats.

We're doing so little talk about boats. And that's really because we've got to earn so much money for me to buy a boat. And people say, get a boat license, get some boat shoes, go out in a boat. I feel it's so far away at the moment that I haven't earned the right to think too much about boats. It would hurt too much. But I tell you, we've got to set a point. I don't know if it's $50,000, $100,000, but when we just go, the boat podcast is moving.

It's making money week to week now. Everything's fine. We don't have to focus so much on the schemes. We just focus on making a podcast about how much you want a boat. Oh, I'm dreaming about accountants and forms and interest and hat manufacturers to sell merchandise. And I'm losing the dream of the boat. So I affirm some affirmations. I will focus more on the boat. I will visionize.

Visionize? Envision. Envision? What is wrong with me today? I just want a boat. I want to think about boats. I want to live that boat life. And so many wonderful people, of those people calling out to me in crowds during the Adelaide

Fringe, hey man, get that boat, man. It's really cool. So many people are going, listen, my uncle's got a boat. My dad's got a boat. I know a guy whose friend has a boat. And I appreciate that. And I want to come on those boats with those middle-aged men. I really do.

But I'm not ready. I'm too far away. Don't give me false hope. Don't let me go on a boat now when we've only got about to be $2,900. Only for me to discover how much I truly love boating and how far away from having a boat I truly am. Oh, I want this podcast to be about a boat. And I want you to share in my journey.

Join the huge cash giveaway right now. Share it on the Instagram. Please, please bring me closer to the boat. You are the wind within my wing. Within my wing? Within my wing. Mm-mm. A better man would edit this podcast.

Mm-mm.