The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - First Mate (Sam Clarke)

Episode Date: November 13, 2022

If you require video work, I recommend Sam. He is my first mate. Go to his website here: https://www.samclarkestudio.comPartake of my #1 bestselling book of poems, Marlon Brando 9/11: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0B92NWWDCGet the audiobook and join the Patreon, and more: https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccann Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! This episode is brought to you by Google Pixel. I'm Jessie Crookshank. I host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend.

I also have three kids. I need help making every day easier. So I switched to Google Pixel. It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant. Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera. I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9. Learn more at store.google.com. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. CBC News brings the story to you as it happens.

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I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween.

Facebook is like a no, that's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Ladies and gentlemen, dear listeners of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Podcast. I've almost lost my voice, but it doesn't matter to me. It matters to me that I'm here with you in sickness and in health, in poverty and in poverty. Poverty, poverty, poverty. When I

have a boat one day and now when I don't, I'm here with you doing a podcast, but I can't carry on like this forever. Just sitting in my Volvo, recording the podcast late on Sunday night, immediately ahead of a release and midnight on Monday, Adelaide time. So I've decided to make a change, a serious change, not a change in myself. I can't do that. I'm not up to it. I've looked at myself in the mirror. I've looked deep, deep into my soul.

And I've said, James, can you be a better person? And the answer is no. I can grow in virtue, but not in time. Maybe one day I'll be the sort of man who's strong enough to be organised and diligent. to help me get this ship on the road. I think that's a mixed metaphor. Well, I guess you have to put a ship on the road to get it out to the water. I'll accept it. Sometimes a sailor is able to go out and sail on their lonesome. But very rarely, I think, is that a good idea. Do you remember there was a little girl in Australia who was going to be the youngest girl to circumnavigate the world? And she left Sydney Harbour, she was like 15.

And she left Sydney Harbour, she was like 15. She crashed into the Sydney Harbour Bridge on her way out of Sydney. She had to stop and start again a few weeks later. The embarrassment. I think the second time she attempted it, she did actually manage to get out and go away. But that's what happens if you're on your own. You get nervous. You get weirded out.

I'm not going to be on my own. I'm assembling a crew. And I'll talk about this later in the podcast. But I have found my first mate. Mate number one. Later on in this journey, maybe I'll have a second mate. Mate number one. Later on in this journey, maybe I'll have a second mate. Maybe I'll have a cook. Maybe I'll have a masseuse. Maybe I'll have a doctor who stops me from getting sick

and losing my bloody voice all the time. But we'll come to that later. What I'd like to talk about first is my legions of new American fans. I can see who's listening to the podcast around the world, and I'm very proud to say that after my trip to America, after my time on the American podcasts, we have so many glorious new American fans. Now, one of the issues is that the American fans are very spread out across America. It's a big country. And if you are all in one place,

like if I now had 200 fans in Los Angeles, I would just come to Los Angeles twice a year to do a very special performance for you. And you could all come and see me. And we'd all touch each other. And I'd give you whatever voice losing disease that I have. Man, I get sick a lot. I've done the tests. It's not COVID. Apparently.

But who knows? Who cares? But I've had gastro like twice this year, and I'm no slimmer than I was at the start of the year. Can you believe that? How much of a porker must I be to have done all that vomiting and shitting and not be any slimmer for it? It's a real shame.

You're all spread out in America. So what I'd like to do now is I'd like to shout out some of the most listened to places to let you know that I love you. I'm thinking about you, I'm studying you, and if you can accumulate more James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan fans in the location where you're at, one day I can come and do a show there. And that would make me ever so happy,

and I'd make ever so much more money for the podcast. So, for example, we have a handful of listeners in a place called Oakland, Oakland, California, which I understand to be heterosexual San Francisco. So to Oakland, I say I love you. It's great to have listeners there. I've read your Wikipedia page. Oakland was the second city in America to make magic mushrooms legal.

I'm not really much for magic mushrooms myself. But I saw a dying woman with cancer use them to some benefit. So thank you, Oakland. Here's another one. Camarillo. We have some listeners in Camarillo, California. We have quite a lot of listeners in the state of California. Here's a fact I read about you, Camarillo, California.

All of your major government representatives are women. Charlotte Craven, Monique Lemond, Jackie Irwin, Julia Brownlee and Kelly Long. Five are government top persons. I didn't write down what they all were. Some are senators, one's a mayor, one's a congresspeople. All ladies. Sisters are doing it,

not merely for themselves, but also for the greater place of Camarillo. I don't know if it's a suburb or a town. I think suburb means town to some Americans, but well done for having exclusively female representation. I'm sure it's a very tidy place to live. Boise, the capital of Idaho. We have some listeners there.

And I've read about Idaho's ethnic Basque community. Well, that's one of the largest in the United States. And many of them live in Boise, Idaho. And I'm told that every five years you hold a special Basque festival. Well, I Basque in my Boise listeners. Chicago, I spoke to my friend Paul about you, Chicago, and apart from mentioning that on the south side, you just fucking gun people down indiscriminately with drive-by shootings. He said that you have many public sculptures, and I thought that sounds lovely. Comac. We have listeners in Comac, which is a

hamlet on Long Island, and here's a little sample from your Wikipedia page, the Comac Inn gained notoriety by its advertisements on late-night television and radio extolling the perfect romantic getaway with plush beds, a mirrorball disco room and heart-shaped love tubs. I think this is a place in Long Island where you go to have sex. Rosie O'Donnell, in a 1994 interview, recounted that's where everyone in high school went to have their first sexual experience.

And I note that Rosie there has put that in the third person. There, Rosie O'Donnell, presumably keeping herself pure. Dallas! Dallas has one of the worst pieces of copy on their Wikipedia page I've ever read. Sorry, Dallas listeners. It reads like this. The city of Dallas is home to many areas, neighbourhoods and communities.

Dallas is home to many areas, neighbourhoods and communities. Dallas can be divided into several geographical areas, which include larger geographical sections of territory, including subdivisions or neighbourhoods, excuse me, many subdivisions or neighbourhoods, forming macro neighbourhoods. I don't know how to break this to you, Dallas. That's true of virtually every city. Everywhere. Once you get over a certain number of people, it's home to many

areas, neighbourhoods and communities. And divided into several geographic areas, which include larger geographical sections of territory, including many subdivisions or neighbourhoods forming macro neighbourhoods. Dallas, that's not special. But you are special, Dallas. And I thank you for having so many lovely listeners. Dayton, Ohio. I was reading about one of your many theatre companies, Dayton. The Human Race Theatre Company is the professional producing theatre company of Dayton, Ohio.

And this is a bit of copy I liked on your theatre company's Wikipedia page. That it's dedicated, quote, to producing works on universal themes that explore the human condition and startle us all into a renewed awareness of ourselves. And that's what I like to think I do on my podcast. Data nut! Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture, but when I have questions, I get to phone a friend.

I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting The Hills after show. I get thirsty phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on.

Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com I've just edited out a bit of the podcast where I almost coughed myself into unconsciousness.

But I want you to know that it was worth it for getting through that long paragraph about Dayton, Ohio. I love you! Thank you for listening. For now, I wish to talk about the problem that I mentioned earlier, the problem of not having a big enough crew. The work that's being output by James McCann Industries at the moment, Catamaran Industries, I don't mind telling you, it's really leapt up.

There are YouTube videos coming out that are going quite well. We've got a lot of new subscribers. We're growing this enterprise. But as mentioned before, I'm a weak man, and I'm incapable of sailing this ship alone. So I've hired a new worker, Sam Clark. He's a wonderful, he actually gave me something to read about him. Hold on. He's an aspiring cinematographer and lighting slash camera assistant. I mean, he's just great. I mean, he's just great.

Everything he shoots is beautiful. He's a hard worker. He's diligent. And frankly, he's working for me now dirt cheap. So thank you, Sam. And if you can afford, if you need a cinematographer and you can pay him more than I am, you should definitely take him away from me. I mean, I would hate to lose him.

But the man with his gift deserves to be raking down big money and not toiling away in obscurity on a little hokey catamaran podcast. But I love him. And I've done this interview with him so that you might get to know him and startle us all into a renewed awareness of ourselves. I'm here with Sam Clark. Sam Clark, hello. Sam Clark of samclarkstudio.com.

A self-promotion already from the start. You've taught me. You taught me. Yeah, you've got to do it. That's what I do. I find that when I go on podcasts and I mention the James Donald Forbes, McCann, Can Moran plan too far at the end, you've lost people. Absolutely.

Really, the first thing you say when people say, hello, how are you? You go, hi, how are you? And you've done that, and I appreciate that. Now, Sam, we've brought you on not as an employee. You're getting no benefits. Okay. But as a paid, a member, a first mate, I'm calling you. Oh, I like that.

Yeah. You're the first mate of the catamaran plan. That's fitting. I'd like to think I do. I've been serving that role for you. I am that. Well, we're formalizing it now and it was hard to get here on time. I'm sorry for being late because the family life is difficult, but that's one of the things you, I mean, you don't have to organize that. I just wanted to make sure that you were coming. That was my only thing. Sometimes I don't turn up. Yeah. So I just want to confirm. Yes, you are coming. All right, cool. Now, we've got to sell you to the group.

We've got to sell you to the catamaran listeners because this is hard-earned catamaran money going into the things you do. What are your skills? Well, according to samclarkstudio.com, I'm a commercial and creative cinematographer. But no, but McCann, I'm just your guy. I'm your first mate.

You're going to be a go-to guy. I am. I'm a guy. That's when anyone asks me, what do you do? I'm your guy. I'm your first mate. You're going to be a go-to guy. I am. I'm a guy. That's when anyone asks me, what do you do? I'm a guy. I'm useful. See, that's what we need. Because the usefulness, I think I have the disease of the,

I think whatever ADHD is, whatever people say that is, I think I have it. I think you do. Things don't get done. Many ideas are had. But I think you coming in will form a light. Like, for example, this podcast is being recorded shortly before it has to go out.

I have no reserve of podcasts ready to go. I also have nowhere to record the podcasts because I've started doing them in my car because I have no room in my house, and the car gets very hot. So even if I could just come here into this shed and talk into the microphone. My shed is your shed, McCann, as your first name. See, this is a wonderful thing. Now, let's describe the setup.

Yeah, but you know that already, McCann. And that's kind of how we... And listeners have to know what's happening and where we're going because I think we need a crew to make the catamaran happen. What is this shed and what's happened here in the past? Well, I converted my shed here because I needed a space to operate the Sam Clark Studio. Samclarkstudio.com?

Samclarkstudio.com. But this was primarily motivated originally creating this space from the Brad Hollis' Good Footy Energies podcast, the beautiful podcast that was. And so I converted my shed. I put a wall up. I literally took four panels of gyprock from Bunnings. They let me borrow the trolley. I don't have a car, certainly not a car big enough to take, you know, sort of. Did you trolley that all the way home?

I trolleyed. The old lady, she let me borrow the trolley. I had to trolley it here. I got it all here undamaged. The thing is I had to take the trolley back straight away. So it's like I did this really momentous. I all this all this gyp rock you know from like let's look at the gyp rock a few kilometers i traveled with this gyp rock it's a beautiful wall that you've put up thank you yeah and uh simi simi helped me with this one my beautiful fiance simi she helped me

put some of these panels up and so we have on this side sort of a storage room yep yeah this is the storage i'm trying to make that look client facing as we say in the industry but that's that's pretty messy but there's a way to go on this but this part is beautiful the studio now we've recorded videos here before we're currently recording a youtube series called quality and training purposes here i can't wait to put the other one out it's's going very well indeed. And we can have more catamaran video content here also. Yes, absolutely. And just this doesn't need to make the pod,

but I've got a Kupo 546M combo stand. Just come in with the Amaran F22C light mat. Those two combining together. Sam knows a lot about the details and the machines and you've got a lot of the machines ready to go. So I'll start out with an ad, samglackstudio.com. Get on it if you need any commercial videography or creative videography. If you need some videos done in a sort of a creative or commercial way,

I'm your guy. But for at least one day a week, you're my guy. Absolutely. All right. And we can, I'm always your guy. All right. Well, I appreciate that. We've got a first mate now.

Now, this is what I noticed when I was in America, is that all these shows, they all have a guy. You know? Not one of these shows, other than me, is someone just going, I think I'll make a show happen. I'll edit it myself. The Shane Gillises, the Matt Frads, the New Polity people. The Odd Future Wolfgang killed them all.

Well, I didn't get to meet Tyler, but I saw his shop. Oh, wow. Golf Le Fleur. Yeah, I think it's in Hollywood. Yeah, okay, wow. I didn't go in because I was too poor. You're absolutely right, though, McCann. It's like all these sort of comedic movements,

they come from a little team and there's some hidden members and there's some front-facing members. We've exposed you now to the public, which is more than these people ever do, but I'm more open. Now, I want to say this. I've got about four mugs that have to be sent out to the Patreons. I just can't do it. I thought I could do it.

I need your help sending the mugs out Is this first mate duty? Yeah, first mate duty is I'm going to bring over all the mugs And have a conversation about where we're going to go from there Some of them got sent back to me in the mail Because I couldn't get the addresses right So we need to hunt that down One of them has to go to my beautiful mother-in-law in New Zealand

And I just haven't I was so ashamed of my drawing on that mug That I didn't send it out But we need to grow this Patreon We need to grow the finances we need to grow the machine we need to get on this journey to having a boat as soon as we can we can bring on other staff as well other crew we've got my manager jake smith he sort of works over me okay sort of under me i don't know i don't have a name for him yet but first mate What are other things That people have on a boat? Oh

Other things that people A life jacket And I feel like But in terms of employees On a boat Oh Well yeah Well your life jacket

Is your most important Employee I imagine I think of my wife As being my life jacket I love her so much I love your wife Yeah she's a beautiful lady

Um Well who's on there? We've got the captain. You're the captain, McCann. That was a very hard slap to the leg. I don't know if that came up. That was a first mate slap. That was a trusting slap.

I'd like a parrot on my shoulder. There's damsels in distress on boats. Are there? I feel like every boat movie. No, I think we don't have any women on the boat. I think that's a definite rule. Women and se we don't have any women on the boat i think that's a definite rule women and semen don't mix that's the old line very good to have said nothing there all right sam clark we're moving ahead we've got a lot of content coming up this month let's

now have a conversation off mike about this next video that's coming out at the james donald forrest mccann youtube channel can i just speak directly to your people? Because this is like filtered through McCann and this is filtered, but I want to pledge allegiance to the flag of James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. And I'm here to tell you listeners that I'm incredibly dedicated to this project. And you will see from what I've done for James in the past that this is incredibly fitting.

We're going to reach tidal wave level, tsunami level. That's what I'm talking about. Get it done. And I just want your people to know that their money is safe in my hands. I appreciate that. And the reason I've had to start paying you, I don't know if you'll mind saying this, is yesterday I came over,

because you've been doing a lot of free work for the catamaran plan, is that yesterday I came over and you were attempting to defer an electricity bill. I was hoping to get that out the way before you came over, but they kept me on hold. Sam Clark, great to have you here on the show. Great to be moving forward together towards me owning a catamaran. Thanks so much for having me,

and it is like my life's mission to get you that catamaran james that's the perfect thing for you and i want to say if i could have gone it alone and done solo sailing and gotten there faster you know i think i would have done it by now i think part of what we have to do in this life is recognize when we have problems and impediments and find people with skills and bring them on and move forward as a family as a crew and i'm so honored and blessed to have you and your wonderful skills on the James Donald Forbes McCann-Cadamoran plan. I'm blessed, McCann. I don't know what to say. I feel like we've been led together. It's a beautiful thing. Let's not become too heartfelt, but it's a beautiful thing. I will continue to record and edit the podcast because that brings me so much

happiness to that audio. But we'll be doing video content. We'll be doing bonus content. We'll be doing Patreon things. Go and sign up to that Patreon, James Donald Forsberg and Catamaran Plan. And where can people go to book you for work? Firstly, I just want a little piano flutter at this moment. I love that in the pod.

Okay, I'll do that. I usually use that for swear words. Oh, well, this isn't a swear. This is the opposite of a swear. It's samclarkstudio.com. samclarkstudio.com. Thank you, Sam Clark. We'll be talking to you soon. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month. Every month at Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at Fizz.ca. If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton

has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend,

I break down the biggest stories in pop culture, but when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend

with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com