The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Forward Estimates & Saskatoon (Featuring Reagan King)

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

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I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines and i get schooled by a tween facebook is like a no that's what my grandma's on thank god phone a friend with jesse crookshank is not available on facebook it's out

now wherever you get your podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Oh, well, isn't it nice to be back with you, sweet dear listener? Yes. On the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan podcast. Oh!

Revived. Yes. Back. Rip-roaring, ready to go. With so many plans coming out the wazoo, you wouldn't believe it. Believe it. I'm going to get that boat. $500,000.

We're doing it, baby. So good to have you here. I will concede that my efforts to procure for myself a boat over the last few weeks have been somewhere between Cavalier, a slapdash, and the third point on the axis, soft. I went on tour a couple weeks ago. I got to go right around this great country, opening for the great Mark Norman with the great Andrew Youngblood. We had a wonderful time, and the shows were terrific.

And then last week, I launched a new podcast, The Catacast, out now. But what about the boat? You're quite right to be anxious about the boat. A lot of hullabaloo has been made about the boat, and my allegiance to boat ownership has not wavered. This episode comes in two parts. Part number two, I speak to Regan King. We had a very, very long conversation, which has been heavily redacted. He's a listener from Saskatoon, I think.

He lives in Moose Jaw now, but both are in the province of Saskatchewan, Canada. And before I went on tour with Mark Norman and Andrew Youngblood, what a wonderful tour that was, I got to speak to him. I've been all over the shop. I finally got to just sit down and edit that. So we'll have that big long chat about how I'm coming to Saskatoon to help grow my Canadian fan base, to help garner money, to help buy that boat. That's coming up for you soon. Don't change that dial. Keep it tuned here to JDFM CP. But what I'd like to talk about first is all the plans I've got coming up for the new financial year starting in July, which is of course the the new financial year, starting in July, which is, of course, the anti-Semites' favorite month,

as opposed to the philo-Semites' favorite month, Jew Tell the Truth. So here are just some of the things coming up the next financial year. I've got a book of poems that's finished. I need to figure out when and how that's coming out. I've got a script for a feature film that is, at this point, I would say 70% done. I've been busy scribbling. It got that is at this point, I would say, 70% done. I've been busy scribbling. It got long enough that I can't even write it in my notes app anymore. I've had to move onto a pages document. I'm a little mixy-matchy with the Google software and the Apple software. One day, maybe I'll even be able to afford that sweet Microsoft software that people can't stop talking about.

So there's a book of poems. Who knows if the book of poems will be a big success? Was the first one a big success? I mean, not in terms of making enough money to buy a boat. It only sold 76 copies, but I'm pretty happy with seven. If I sold 77 copies for the next book, that to me would be a step up. Then I merely have to continue that rate of improvement and release several thousand books of poems, and then I'll be able to buy a boat. Okay, the feature film. We've got the feature film. That's going to be shot, I think, in November. I think we have the book of poems come out in September. Let me get the calendar out. So in July, I'm doing gigs in Melbourne and Perth. In August, I think I'm going to be back in America just for a very short amount of time,

but trying to grow the podcast once again in America. I will not, I don't think, be able to make it through to Canada for shows by August. I think that's too soon, but some exciting stuff coming up there. So September Book of Poems. October might have a little breakdown. Might schedule in a little breakdown for October just to treat myself to a little breakdown. November we shoot the feature film. December we might go to New Zealand. My wife is from New Zealand. I would like to start growing a New Zealand fan base. We'll do a gig in New Zealand. Why go to New Zealand then? Well, so that my family can spend Christmas with their New Zealand family, but also because it's a stop on the way to America where we may be residing, touristing, something like that.

We'll figure out the visa situation from January to March of 2024. That's a real attempt to crack America open. And then in March, April, April, I'm thinking thinking I didn't know this at the time that I was speaking to Regan King about timelines for coming to Canada I'm doing shows but I think April of next year because it's so easy to do gigs in Canada

I could do a run of gigs there so that is a potential next financial year and then maybe I'll May, June we'll figure something out. Maybe that's when the film comes out. May, June. Maybe that's when we launch the film. And then that's the next

financial year. Oh, oh! I forgot. I can't afford to have a mental breakdown in October. That's when the art auction is. We've got the art auction October 13. Holy doly. Oh! Some of this will fall through.

There's no way that I'm doing all this, but once again, July, I've got gigs in Melbourne and Perth. August, I'm going to Texas. September, I've got a new book of poems coming. October, I'm throwing an art auction. November, we're shooting a feature film. December, I'm coming to New Zealand. January, February, March, we're breaking America. April, it's off to Canada. Then, in May and June 2024, we release the feature film. That's the plan. Now, I don't know which of those will be successful enough for me to buy a boat. Hopefully, cumulatively, cumulatively, cumulatively, cumulatively, cumulatively, all of them together will add up to $500,000. That's my plan. That's what I'm tying myself to a mast.

How will we do that with three young children? I don't know. By next year, they will be five, three, and one. And I think, I don't know how much you know about having kids, but I think that's going to be much as difficult as four, two, and zero as they are now. But my wife is keen. This is such a struggle.

I tell her, honey, this is too much stuff. And she goes, James, we can do it. Doesn't that sound like an exciting life? And I go, honey, it sounds hard. And she goes, I think we can do it. And I go, all right. And then also my wife's a very quiet, private person. People go, you're dragging your wife to my wife's a very quiet, private person. People go,

you're dragging your wife to do all these insane things over the next year? And I say, you don't understand. You don't understand. She's keen. I'm trying to get out of this stuff. I wanted to be a humble boat owner. And instead, we're globetrotting. And anyway, it's all good. It's all positive. And instead, we're globetrotting. And anyway, it's all good. It's all positive. I love everything. It's so exciting.

I mean, imagine. She's right. She is right. Imagine if all of those things come off. That would be a really exciting. I mean, I've got $26 in the bank account right now. Because I've bought all these flights of late. And I'm waiting on about a big, big lump of money to come through from various sources. I can't buy lunch today. You understand? Anyway, so I don't know that I'll be able to plan this all properly. I don't know

how good a job I'm doing keeping it all together now, but I just want you to let you know I'm giving it a go. We've got whatever strings I can pull to try and have all of this come off successfully and buy a boat at the end of it and live a beautiful life. We're giving it a crack. Now, please enjoy from about a month ago my interview with Regan King. I had to edit a lot of it out, some of it at the start because he's Canadian and he was being too nice to me and I don't let people come on this podcast to be nice to me. That's not what I'm about. Is that a ticket inspector? Is that a ticket inspector? Sorry,

I'm in the Volvo. I'm in town in a half hour park and I've been, yes, I'm skirting that boundary. Wonderful interview with Regan King. I've got to get back in contact with him. I've got so many things to do. I have a full-time job. Excuse me. I thought I was in a good mood. You never think you're in a good mood,

and then you start talking into a microphone in your car in town for 10 minutes, and you realize, holy moly, I'm agitated. I love you. I needitated. I love you. I need you. I want you. Here is a long conversation with the wonderful listener, Regan King. You're in Moose Jaw, Canada.

Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada. Yes, in the middle of a pretty minor province in one of the least, I'd say second least notable province of Saskatchewan. You better believe that I've spent a lot of time reading about Saskatchewan. I'm so excited for you to tell me all about Saskatchewan. I dare say, you say least notable. I think the two famous, two of the most famous ever Canadians are Saskatchewan.

Rowdy Roddy Piper, who I didn't even know was Scottish. I thought he was Scottish. I didn't know he was Canadian. What? Yep. Who is this. Rowdy Roddy Piper, who I didn't even know was Scottish. I thought he was Scottish. I didn't know he was Canadian. What? Who is this? Rowdy Roddy Piper. He was a great wrestler. One of the great wrestling heels of all time.

He was in that movie where he wears the anti-ideology glasses. And Joni Mitchell. I don't know. You have to understand that I was born in 1999. So I don't know if that's going to be a communication barrier for us. She had Pave Paradise put up a parking lot. I've looked at clouds from both sides now. Joni Mitchell's wonderful.

Wait, a woman sang that song? A woman wrote and sang that song. Oh, Joni Mitchell. That was Big Yellow Taxi. I'm familiar with this Counting Crows version. Yes. It's a, I was about to say a rip-off. I think cover is the...

I didn't know that. Hold on. I'm scandalized right now. Oh, Joni Mitchell's an absolute delight. And obviously, you know, Massive Lefty pulled her music off of Spotify when Joe Rogan was cracking off about the vaccine. But, you know, massive lefty pulled her music off of Spotify when Joe Rogan was cracking off about the vaccine. But, you know, adds to the charm. And to be fair, she, like Neil Young, was a polio victim as a young person.

And so the polio people tend to be a bit more vaccine supportive than, you know, for obvious reasons. Now, I want to ask you about, I've got to ask about Saskatchewan. The Matisse live there. Is that how I say it? I could have this conversation all day. Yes, please. Tell me about that. So, I'm actually from.

Are you Matisse? I'm from Saskatoon. You're from Saskatoon? I'm from Saskatoon. Born and raised there. Saskatchewan. Wait, what is that? Saskatonian?

You're Saskatonian? And that is the largest town in Saskatchewan, but not the capital. That's Regina. Regina? Well, there's a bit of a story to that. Do you know the story? I do not know the story. So there was basically three cities.

There's still basically three cities in Saskatchewan. The biggest three are Saskatoon, Regina, and Prince Albert, I believe. Okay. And when they were getting a province together, which was formerly called Rupert's Land, just a big territory, the biggest three are Saskatoon, Regina, and Prince Albert, I believe. Okay. And when they were getting a province together, which was formerly called Rupert's Land, just a big territory, which I believe was managed by the Hudson's Bay Company. But basically they said, hey, we got to pick which city which gets amenities.

And we got a prison, and we got a university, and one will get to be the capital so we got the university nice uh prince albert gets the penitentiary so it's kind of a lots of cheap labor well yeah it was actually a big income generator now but not much of a long-term investment if you ask me but and then regina gets the capital but here what pisses me off is they opened a university like 100 years after that it's like no no no no you think you should get the only university how many universities here's another look listen there are lots of universities in canada in places where there's there's just shouldn't be universities like i was i i love the people of white horse canada it's a big thing for me i can't believe that in this town of

30 000 people there's you know that you just wouldn't get a lot of 30 000 people towns having universities in australia and there's a lot there casinos is the other one universities and casinos oh yeah they're they're they're everywhere moose jaw has a casino it is well it is uh it's a casino yeah there's vlt's there and there's roulette is it you're saying it's insufficiently uh luxurious to be worthy of the name i mean they they're they're going for it i guess it's it is a casino it's just that i don't tell me so what do you know about moose jaw because i can tell you about this i know nothing about moose jaw except that i love the people of moose jaw and i want to grow a huge audience in moose jaw one is a great start i think moose i'm moose jaw is uh is out i think saskatoon's in but moose jaw the whole thing is that it's a is it yeah canada's most notorious city because there was a rumor that Al Capone was here at some point.

And that's sort of what we based our whole branding off of. Well, no, this seems good. Renegades and outlaws. Hold on. You don't think you're in Moose Jaw, though. You don't think you could spread the good words of the podcast in Moose Jaw? I can. I just don't like it's not a.

Here's my thinking. I don't know that as many people in Moose Shaw. But there is a, I think there is a bit of a local theater. There's like an old theater and that gets a lot of good shows going to it. But there's not, definitely not as much of a Catholic contingent if you're hoping to leverage that. Well, I want to leverage every, I was thinking about this, every minority group I can. I think that's the secret to success now. And now I've got all these anti-vax fans and all these Catholic fans.

I was like, right, let's, can it be, what would be nice is if you get the biggest minority groups, right? Like James McCann, he's the Chinese comedian. That would be really helpful, but harder. Yeah. Okay, well, here's, let me take your pitch. I know this conversation is everywhere. I'm trying to hit all the points. Yeah.

Oh, I've got so many notes about Saskatchewan, the only Canadian province for which no borders correspond to physical geographic features. Did you know that? Yeah, they just made it up. They just made it up. And I want to talk about the Rough Riders, Canadian football.

Please, tell me about it. Let's talk about our province. I can shoot the shit about this all day. Yeah, all right. Now, what's going on? Now, Budweiser once gave you a trophy. Really? I know.

We're going straight into Budweiser. They once gave Saskatchewan a trophy because it's the highest per capita province for generating National Hockey League players. More National Hockey League players per capita come out of Saskatchewan than anywhere else in any U.S. state, Canadian province, or European country. Now, this trophy, was it... It had a dick and it doesn't anymore. Would you say it was a standard issue or was yes, I should have been more circumspect. Um, but it was, it was a while ago.

It was a previous branding exercise. I don't think Budweiser is currently, is this a thing in Australia? I don't know. I don't know if you guys like cricket or whatever it is. I don't, I don't know how to do it. But when you go to a small town in Australia, do they have a massive billboard beside the town that says, Home of Scott, you know, and this huge blown-up athlete on there? So in Queensland and New South Wales,

I'm told they do this much more with Rugby League. And there's a great celebration of them but i i've never seen in victoria or south australia a a sign celebrating an athlete but i'm told in america this is huge this is like yeah there's a claim to fame well in white horse they've got dylan cousins who i'm told is doing excellent hockey work for the Buffalo hockey team. He did not write back to my Instagram message. So, has Moose Jaw got excellent athletes? Because what I was building to is you've got all these hockey players coming from there.

And you've got, you know, okay, Canadian football team and a lacrosse team. But not even at the minor level is there a Saskatchewanese hockey team, and that seems very odd. I was thinking about that the other day because there's no reason there isn't, besides the fact that we have no population. That will get in the way. There's one in Edmonton. I mean, Edmonton is pretty big, but I guess... Yeah, I was thinking about that.

I think we could sustain one, but everyone's kind of on the lacrosse vibe right now. Lacrosse is a big thing? The popularity of lacrosse is exploding here. That is a phenomenon I had never heard of. Sorry, so people like lacrosse. Here, lacrosse is a very... My cousin played lacrosse, but no one seriously plays lacrosse. Here, lacrosse is a very... My cousin played lacrosse, but no one seriously plays lacrosse.

People watch lacrosse? Is lacrosse sort of like a rich boy sport? There wouldn't be a whole lot of kids out in the slums lacrossing it up. Not a lot of peanut butter on the cream crackers, if you know what I'm talking about? No, I don't. I don't know that particular expression. But I will say, you can't lacrosse your way out of poverty in this country. Do you know what I mean?

Dang, man. Like, if you're a poor athletic child and it's... Yeah, on the streets. Yeah, if you're on the mean streets and you can either become a football player or a lacrosse player, I suspect you're taking the AFL, the footy contract. So lacrosse is a real thing? People care about lacrosse? Oh, maybe not so much.

I mean, hockey's still the thing here. I didn't grow up playing hockey. I'm 6'4", so I kind of was forced into basketball. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I guess it's nice to, yeah. I don't know if guess it's nice to it yeah i don't know if you understand american no no i'm familiar with six four that's very tall yeah so i i i grew like 12 inches in one year and i was a point guard and i was pretty dang good and then i then i you know i'm like 150 pounds but six four and they made me a center so I was kind of forced to play basketball and volleyball.

So I don't know hockey, but that's still sort of the big thing. You're 150 pounds and 6'4"? No, no, no, no, no, no. I was in like high school when I used to play basketball. No, that would be quite frightening. Those are spooky Eastern European proportions. There's always one. I'm fully Irish.

Well, not fully uh what now the ethnic makeup of saskatchewan is something that i have been reading a great deal about okay if there's one thing that the editors of the wikipedia pages in canada love to talk about it is the ethnic and demographic makeup of those places. And specifically... We don't have much, so we'll cling on to multiculturalism like there's no tomorrow. Well, I love the Matisse thing. Am I saying that right?

What are you talking about? Matisse? M-E-T-I-S. Matisse. Métis. Oh. The Métis? Oh yeah, the Métis people Métis. Oh. Oh. The Métis? Yeah. Oh, yeah, the Métis people.

Very, very, very interesting people. Interesting story. I thought it was like the painter. I was like, who the hell is this Métis guy you keep talking about? Well, tell me about the, sorry, the Métis. I've only read about it. I've only read about it. Well, just that it's like Frenchmen went off with, I believe you call them First Nations peoples.

That's outdated. How dare you? It's Indigenous peoples now. That seems worse. It changes every couple of years, though, so don't worry about it. Indigenous seems worse than First Nations because it makes people sound like a tree that grew there. And it's, well, in Canada specifically, I'm just reading the Wikipedia page, but it seems And Canada specifically, I'm just reading the Wikipedia page, but it seems it's breathtakingly dull in terms of ideology.

And maybe that's like... It is so boring. Okay, good. Because I just wanted to... It's so boring. Like, I just got trapped in a big wormhole on visible minorities and how that was like the... That's a category there. But then the invisible...

Like, to differentiate them, I think, from the French so that you can have people of colour and give them, like, help and money in a way that you don't give it to the French. But then the French are angry about that and they're like, this is a real thing. It's...

Like, the French over in France or the French here in Quebec? The French, they're in, not merely Quebec, but they're all over the place in Canada. Well, they are. Not really in Saskatchewan. You know? Okay. Like, the federal workers, I think they still are made to say, hello, bonjour. But we always say hello back.

See, that was a weird one. Wait, the federal workers say hello, bonjour? Yeah, I think federal employees, I don't know if it's a requirement, but I think it's strongly, strongly encouraged for them to speak both English and French, which is hilarious because no one speaks French here. I remember when I was looking at Whitehorse and the French-speaking population of maybe four. I'm getting a little jealous of Whitehorse. You seem to have a preference for white horses.

Well, I love them. I'm here saying, hey, you don't have to help me with the comedy show and the sketch one and you're like, oh, well, I'm still hooked on a white horse. You're saying not Moose Jaw. You're saying, don't worry about Moose Jaw. We're going Saskatoon. Well, not. What about the Métis people?

Oh, what about? Well, I just thought it was cool that they existed. That was it. Well, I... That's all I know. It is an interesting case, right? Because usually... I think it's actually...

If I'm going to say... If I'm just shooting out of my ass here, as I always do, it's probably going to be one of the last distinct ethnicities that has arisen in the modern century because ethnicities are going by the wayside. We're all going to be a specific shade of caramel in the future. No, I have a very strong belief that ethnogenesis will continue to occur. Because it's the Métis. You think so?

Yes. I don't know why. But I think everything is becoming so tribalized, I think it actually, you are benefited to have ethno-justice. The reward is there. There's an incentive. Like we have this thing called the NDIS, which is like National Disability Insurance Scheme.

But basically, it's a big pot of money for the disabled. And it's so, I'm not saying it's corrupt, but our left-wing governments are now talking about making cuts to it, which is crazy. Like they came up with it really and for people on the left to go oh this is costing a lot of money is like and to the extent that like every shady uh operator that i know in australia wants to start an ndis business because they go there's good money in the ndis but i like increasingly it's i look at my life and i go well are there things that i could say that i was disabled you know could we

find an autism diagnosis in there somewhere and get the money and it's like yeah i mean i think people see me edit the podcast people very they're talking about moving it to adhd there was a big pushback but they may move it to adhd there was a big pushback but they may move it to adhd and then it's like you have incentivized disability to some extent but i think that'll be true with uh ethnicities and tribalism and cultures in the future well i want to talk about that more but i mean just just to cap it off the metis thing it basically it was the french voyagers who are primarily fur traders yes with the hudson spade company or the other one i forget that forget what the other one is but they would often travel these vast distances and

they would stop either in breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. CBC News brings the story to you as it happens. Hundreds of wildfires are burning. Be the first to know what's going on and what that means for you and for Canadians. This situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know.

CBC News. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show.

I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a friend with jesse crookshank is not available on facebook it's out now wherever you get your podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com I don't know, around indigenous villages or that they would take, you know, as accompaniment indigenous women.

And that these, the children of these couples, they had a distinct enough culture and a distinct enough... From the French and the indigenous culture. From the French. They actually are a distinct, like, I think the word is, is Michif, which is a mix of French and, and Cree, I believe. I could be butchering all of it. It's so cool. But they, they had, they, yeah, at some point, like, what was the, what was the point that they were not just a mix between French and indigenous culture? And when was the point that it was actually its own culture?

Its own third thing. It feels like the Sikhs of Canada, although there are apparently heaps of sikhs in canada as well well but it's like at what point is that not yet hindu and it's muslim but then it's another one it's a new thing i love it although you know i'm not familiar with the sikhs uh northwestern they carry swords they they're the turbaned ones. And they have a bracelet as a shield. Are they the ones with the swords hanging in the cars? Yes.

Okay. Almost always if you see a man with a sword in a car, he's a Sikh. We've got to talk Saskatchewan. We've got to talk it hard. How? I need the media landscape. I need notable personalities. Media landscape.

I need notable personalities. What are the networks that one can penetrate to win Saskatchewan to the cause? So, I'll tell you what. Saskatoon. Let's go Saskatoon. Saskatoon, yeah. So, Moose Jaw, it's a pretty small city. It's an aging city.

So, I don't think you're going to get a ton of support for a comedy show. I'll what i can okay but i think mostly like i'll post stickers around man i'll do whatever you need i should have a paper plate coming so i'll frame it in my office it's coming very soon we bought the envelopes recently this special ah look at me working in patreon benefits did you have one specifically that you wanted did you want the very catholic one no i was gonna ask for a moose or something, but it's okay. All right. Margot's almost done. I appreciate you making it easy. Anyway, I think Saskatoon is the place you want to be.

All right. Regina? Gross. That's a gross name. You don't want to go there. Yes. Prince Albert and Regina are in the same state. Holy dooly.

Wait, what? Prince Albert? There's a place called Prince Albert there. Oh oh that is a type of genital piercing oh you're serious yeah gross you think it was named after the city of prince albert or is it pre-existing i i have to believe oh wait the genital piercing i thought it might have been named after the man uh queen victoria's visiting prince albert that actually doesn't encapsulate very well the experience it does feel like a genital piercing? I thought it might have been named after the man, Queen Victoria's husband. Because visiting Prince Albert, that actually doesn't encapsulate very well the experience. It does feel like a genital piercing? Of Prince Albert.

All right. Forget them. It's all Saskatoon. That's where Joni Mitchell got her start. It's Saskatoon. That's where I'm getting my start. So Saskatoon has roughly how many people? I don't know who that is,

but University of Saskatchewan, the original university. Yep. None of this university Regina crap. A lot of young people. Right. Not as many. I can't say I've ever met an Australian person in my life.

So I'm not going to say there's a big Australian population. You're probably the first Australian person I've ever actually talked to. I've encountered Australian people. Yeah. But this is the first sustained conversation I've had with an Australian. Which is bizarre to think about. I've got to say, there's not a lot taking us to Saskatchewan. Tell me more about the University of Saskatchewan. Did you go there? The University of Saskatchewan, a lot of young people

and I think there is a basement. It's called Louie's Basement. It's a very well-known venue there i don't think you'd have any trouble garnering uh people to get to that basement it would absolutely hold 100 people louis i don't i can't say i've seen i can't see i've seen many comedians perform there but lots of you know smaller bands things like that i think that would be a good venue because it's pretty central in the city. Okay. The initial reason I reached out is because, like, well, I, myself, a Catholic,

having come to the Catholic faith in university, I got involved in the Catholic clubs there, particularly Catholic Christian Outreach. So I have a pretty... You have an extensive network. I wouldn't say that something, like, it's not a close network, but I have the ability to contact a lot of people through various groups or whatever like that. So I think I have the ability to spread the word. I always suspected there was a shadowy Catholic network that would someday help me find the people I need.

It's more so like a Facebook page. Yeah. No, I love it. All right. That would be excellent. Look, I would put you in charge i hereby i invest in you uh full saskatchewanese jurisdiction really yes now here's another thing i can't so moose jaw uh not mr white so white horse we have a little fan base there and my

thought was i have to get to Whitehorse, so I have to have at least one other place that I have a following. So if we build one up there, I go, okay, great. Well, I can fly from Saskatchewan to Whitehorse, except you can't. There's no plane that does that. These are not big enough airports. So if I do also commit to Saskatchewan, wherever it does work out,

and maybe someone listening now in Regina or Prince Albert would like to say, hold on a minute. I too wish to... Well, across that bridge when we come to it. But it means I'm going to need a third one. I will work with them. It means I'm going to need a third one that can actually fly. So I don't know...

So I'm actually going to be called to the bar in about two weeks here. I don't know if I'm allowed to represent you as a client. Okay. But I think that would be very funny if I was contacting them on a pro bono basis. I'd be saying, I represent Mr. James Donald Forrest McCann in this. Cease all operations. What's the opposite of a cease and desist? That would be start and yeah start and keep

going oh maybe i should get lawyers to issue start and keep going so hold on we got the catholic we got the catholic dimension in yeah you got the university like the student dimension i think they're they're clamoring for a uh an event and there's and you can put posters up and stuff like that. I don't know when I would do this, because I'm in Mooshan. It's two hours away. Okay. But I bet I could recruit my co-host of the Scruple podcast, Phil.

I bet I could make him do it, because he's in Saskatoon. Oh, I see it now. I think that we can make this happen, but what's the timeline that you're thinking? That is such a good question. this happen but what's the timeline that you're thinking that is such a good question so i uh i'm i'm i'm doing a tour in australia for the next uh week i leave on tuesday jimmy i just gotta say i could talk survivor all are you a big survivor fan

love it get out never seen australian survivor oh don't only american some of the more recent seasons are getting much better. But here's what else. Have you seen the last season of American Survivor? No, I'm getting updates on my phone, but I haven't seen it. But it knows I'm a Survivor person. A classmate of mine was in the season. How did he do?

Or she? He was from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Get out. Well, they were well into the jury. I think like, yeah. Hold on a minute. The fourth or fifth member of the jury. Hold on a minute. Yeah. I think like, yeah. Hold on a minute. The fourth or fifth member of the jury. Hold on a minute.

Yeah. I could interview that person. I think I could make it happen. Oh, hold on. Because I thought I... Hold the phone. I thought that... Because I actually work right across his office from his best friend.

So I think I have a sufficient pipeline to that. Okay. If you want to show him the Haley interview i would while there i would come to moose jewel and do a proper interview fantastic idea he i think he he's actually maybe in alberta i think he's he's chasing the oil fields but i might be able to get you on a zoom call with him i've just i live down from my neighbor and people are coming out of their house i just sorry a zoom call would be great i just don't know what's uh sorry just people are coming out of their house i just sorry a zoom call would be great i just don't know what's uh sorry just people are moving around outside of the car and i i might

have to say hello to them in a moment my friend you need an office uh why i mean technically i have an office where i just i could not get away um uh i didn't know if this was what you're the angle you were going for but maybe the route into canada is through a catholic missionary university movement i'm open to it because they're yeah i don't know this this could be out of left field but basically that most of the catholics that i know the young catholics not not so much anti-vaxxers it's not really that kind of community but i suspect there would be some over there. Most of the young Catholics, they're not two separate circles. I'll tell you that. But I know people typically in many universities.

I think it's 15 universities in Canada at this point. And they're usually typical go-getters. And maybe I'd be able to convince them to see, hey, maybe you can get this guy. This is this guy I barely know. But I'm trying to bolster his career and just see if we can make it happen. I think it's a possibility for other universities if you want to make other areas happen.

Oh, I like it. All right, all right. I don't know anyone in Whitehorse, so I'm sorry. We're getting... We'll have many strategies for many places, but you are so motivated, and I feel so honored and blessed. And frankly,

Reagan, you're my man in Saskatchewan, in Saskatoon, and I commit now on my Canada tour, whenever that occurs, to making this... We're going to do that gig in Saskatoon. Now, let on my Canada tour, whenever that occurs, to making this. We're going to do that gig in Saskatoon. Now let's do all the work we can. Here's what I need you to do, James.

You tell me what you need from me and I'll say what I need from you. If I'm going to be on the crew, I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to be your connection in Canada. That said, I'm going to need some materials. I'm going to need you to send me some macros or or some jpegs so i can make or some stickers so i can make stuff i if you have a promotional poster i'll get i'll get that i do have a promotion it's black and white so three is the print and i will pay for the printing we've got it we've got a uh we've got funds here i don't ask you to expend your own capital well but you are a patreon so embezzle it from my law firm but i'm kidding okay that sounds good

but i'm i can i just call venues and say hey i represent this guy absolutely i also have a book of poems i have power of attorney over you for the purposes of this here's a thought that i've had here's a thought that i've had. Here's a thought that I've had. Well, I have a new book of poems coming out at some point, and maybe if you would hide it in secondhand bookshops. If you ever go to a secondhand bookshop. I know. I love the secondhand bookshops.

Just a thought. And then maybe people will discover it that way. I will love that. I heard Matthew Riley did it that way. He printed out his own book and then he just went around the country dropping it off at bookshops to build an audience. Listen, man, I love financial irresponsibility. I love the fact that you're going to buy a boat that you don't know how to sail. I think you've found the right guy.

I have. Right, guys? This is a wonderful morning. This is a wonderful morning. This is a wonderful morning. This is an excellent morning. This is a joyful morning. It's a nice early evening for me. We are going to...

I'll have to get your contact info and I'll get on. I would love... When's your timeline again? I know that you mentioned you're out touring for a week, but I'm hoping this is at least months. Yes. In a couple of weeks, I'll be able to let you know when it is.

I'm thinking September would be good. I think September would be good. But let me... Leave it with me. Because it might be earlier. It might be July. In the mon july doldrum of my life of paperwork and emails this is going to be something that i can't really explain to my wife why i'm doing but i'm very excited to do it and i'm honored she's welcome to come on the podcast as

well i told her my hey i'm gonna be home late today i'm uh i'm podcasting with an australian comedian um she joins a growing host of wives and girlfriends who are absolutely I'm podcasting with an Australian comedian. She joins a growing host of wives and girlfriends who are absolutely befuddled by what's going on. Well, if we do manage to book a show in Moose Jaw, you have a bed. You have a bed in my house. I would happily do a show in Moose Jaw as well. I have another question, which is,

I'm going to need an additional city that can fly to Whitehorse that's closer to Saskatoon. If I'm doing a show in Saskatoon. Because I don't want to drive from Saskatoon to Whitehorse. That feels like too long. Most flights in Canada fly out of Calgary, I feel like. Or they at least tend

to stop in Calgary. We do have some Calgary Calgary-nese listeners. I think that's probably your second bet. For the same reason, I'm not very original, but for the same reasons. I know two, I know a university community. Okay. And I do know, I do know a few people there that might be able, I might be able to coax into, into helping you out.

So I, my wife actually used to be a missionary on the campus with Catholic Christian Outreach. So I'm a little bit familiar with the area. I don't like it, but there's a lot of people there. I don't think it'd be that hard to find 100 suckers. I appreciate that. I just, Vancouver gave me such bad vibes. As your council, I cannot advise you to.

What's wrong with Vancouver? Have you been to Vancouver? They just think they're... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. There's a lot of weird stuff going on in Vancouver. Don't quite understand it. Houses are ten times more expensive than they should be.

That's one thing I did note. And they really have this air of superiority to them that I really don't like. It's sort of like, hey, we're Californians, but we're also cold all the time. It's kind of like, well, that's not really a basis for a culture. Thank you, Riegan King. Delegate to Saskatchewan. Now, Jimmy, let's get a poem up in here. You ever written a poem that could change the course of human history?

Can you give us a line? It'll cost me. That is what a poet would say. Weak, sad people, poets. Hungry. I think that I might be a better poet. Here's something you need to know for this poem. Do you know who

Sylvia Plath is? She was a poet who killed herself in an oven and her husband Ted Hughes was also a poet and then he married a different woman who also killed herself in an oven yeah I mean it is

with hindsight it's pretty funny I think that I might be a better poet than either Ted Hughes or Sylvia Plath. When I read their poetry, I get bored. But when I read my poetry, oh man, it's electric. I think I might even be better than Walt Whitman.

And as far as I can tell, Walt Whitman was alright. All that Captain Oh My Captain stuff, it was really quite moving in dead poets' society. But if they'd used one of my poems instead that would have been even better I reckon what if instead of saying hey ho Mr. Captain what if the boys

standing up on their desks had cried out in glorious union and said I think that I might be a better poet than either Ted Hughes or Sylvia Plath when I read their poetry I get bored but when I read their poetry, I get bored. But when I read my poetry, oh man, it's electric. Wouldn't that have been a much better movie?

And maybe that boy, that suicide boy, the boy who suicides to spite his mean daddy. What if instead of just studying Walt Whitman, what if the boy had studied me instead? He wouldn't have died, that's for sure. And that's one of the most difficult things about being such a fantastic poet. It's knowing you could have saved lives

had you been born earlier. Just imagine if my poems had been around for Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. They were both working so very hard to write great poems, but it didn't work. His weren't good enough for her to want to stay alive to keep reading them, and hers weren't good enough for her to want to stay alive to keep writing them. But imagine if they'd had my poems.

Imagine what long and beautiful lives they would have had long and beautiful like a hot woman's legs Ted Hughes actually didn't, Ted Hughes did have a long life but I'll tell you who didn't, the second woman he shacked up with

who also killed herself in an oven man that's some stuff right there. Two women, two oven suicides. Was it a gas oven? Yeah, man. That's really the only way to get it done.

Imagine coming back home and seeing woman number two lying in the oven. Her potentially long and beautiful legs protruding in the oven her potentially long and beautiful legs protruding from the oven you'd be furious you'd say darling that's not funny you shouldn't make fun of my ex-wife killing herself in an oven and then you'd probably say something like wait a minute she she's dead. Oh no. I can't believe it has happened again. What are the chances?

I can only imagine how this is going to look to other people. Surely the common factor here is me. You couldn't make that up. Two dead people in ovens shacking up with the same guy.

You just couldn't. If you did make it up and put it into a movie script, the producer would say, mate, two? Two oven suicides? That's two too many oven suicides even one suicide in an oven

that's pretty confronting but two of them get out of town anyway this movie is meant to be about a teacher a teacher who teaches kids about poetry at an elite boarding school you tell me what a two oven suicides have to do with that. And I know I'm just a producer, but here's an idea for your script.

You know who should kill himself instead? The boy. The boy who wants to be an actor. In the current draft, he just becomes an actor. But wouldn't it be better if at the slightest hurdle to being an actor, he kills himself out of nowhere, proving that he didn't have the slightest hurdle to being an actor, he kills himself out of nowhere, proving that he didn't have the temperament to be an actor and that his father was right all along?

Excuse me, what did you say? He should kill himself in an oven? No! What is it with you and oven suicides? Seize the day, my ass. Seize your depressed characters, more like I can pull them out of the fucking oven in which they are trying to commit suicide.

Also, take James Donald Forbes McCann's poems out of the movie. They're too good, baby. They're distracting. Nobody will believe that anybody who has heard those poems could experience despair again. Use Walt Whitman instead is what he'd say I reckon that's alright I appreciate it and let us not forget the whip around here is your whip around King Jake Ford I've just finished a beautiful seafood linguine in a really wonderful Spanish kind of restaurant near the ocean.

And I thought, where better than here to leave a recommendation on the tip. Just write, how can we improve our service? Listen to the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan on Spotify. Here we go. I'll be getting my EpiPen now. And here is a second whip around from glorious fan Ellen Woffenden. Hey Ned, you know who's good at calling free call call centres? Who?

James McCann. Who's that? He's an Adelaide comedian and he has a podcast called The James General Forbes McCann Gadameran Plan and I highly recommend it. Oh, okay. Is that what he does on the podcast? No, he does that on his YouTube channel, but the podcast's very good you should listen to it do you think you will maybe great thanks that's okay if you would like to be featured on the web around record yourself telling somebody about the podcast and send it in there's no specific way to send it in. Instagram seems to work.

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