The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - full visual component

Episode Date: March 30, 2024

Watch the visual component on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YXQtwkYu4rkI'm coming back to Adelaide and doing a new material show: https://www.trybooking.com/events/landing/1199522?fbclid=IwAR18wDilXqTGzUkr5AM7UeNNcesP6rOsPVXRNb3AEN4jQXtjaR-ROVxr020Join the sailing club to contribute financially to James Donald Forbes McCann's journey to boat ownership: https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccannBuy the several books written by James Donald Forbes McCann: https://www.jdfmccann.com/books Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered.

Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it. Find your push.

Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. like that and he'll replace us with the fashionable new AI robot voices. James is coming now to read one of his poems. PFFFT. Pretend you like it. That's what you always say. Pretend you like it and it'll be over faster. Let me tell you about nice warm legs. Let me tell you about being in America. Let me tell you about Rocket 4 where he hits the guy who killed his friend. Let me tell you about nice warm legs. You've got to keep your legs nice and warm. If your legs get cold, then mercy me, it's a punishing

slog to get the legs warm again. Rocket 4 is a beautiful movie about standing up for amazing America. Rocky made his legs extremely cold, and that's the price he paid for nationalism. Do the kids today have what it takes to fight for a country of nice warm legs? Even if that means suffering through some of the coldest legs we have ever imagined. Really, that's more of a Rocky V question. November is a time for a US election. Sometimes it snows on the voting day.

That's the number one way that legs get cold. And the candidates are very old. But which of the nominees do you trust to be like rocky to be like rocky to be like rocky and suffer on through cold legs with a deep blue hue america america rocket four warm legs hello i love it welcome to this episode of the james donald force we can't catamaran plan coming to you with a visual component. Visual component in the car today. We're on YouTube and we're on the podcast platforms. And we're going to get that window up because I'm being pretty loud. That will, of course, make me hotter and compromise the video component.

But that's the sort of thing we're used to making balances on and compromises for on this podcast. Hey, a lot of people have been telling me, James, you've got to have a visual element. You've absolutely got to have a visual element. I made one real when I was at a house. We're homeless. Well, we're without home. We're gypsies. We're traveling. We're Roma people. Ha! Anyway, we're staying at an Airbnb. It's not like we don't have a shelter. We just, all of my stuff is in this car. Car.

And we've driven to Notre Dame, well, near Notre Dame, South Bend, Indiana, to visit our friend Margo. Boy, I was having a crappy time after we left. That window's got to come down again. I'm too sweaty. That window's not coming come down again. I'm too sweaty. That window's not coming down for some reason. All the last thing we need is to blow the battery on this car. Yes, I was having a very crappy time. Yesterday was Good Friday and I was going to record the podcast, but I was told I shouldn't be working on Good Friday and that was definitely a good

point. And I got to confession finally for the first time in months. And when I was told I shouldn't be working on Good Friday, and that was definitely a good point. And I got the confession, finally, for the first time in months. And when I was in line to confession, I thought, you know, I should confess making a god of work, making my work into an idol that I'm clinging on to. You know, as everything else falls apart, I go, well, I'll still get to sit in a car and make a catamaran plan. I'll still get to work towards boat ownership. I'll still get to sit in a car and make a catamaran plan. I'll still get to work towards boat ownership. And when I let that go, just for a moment, just on Good Friday,

when we think about our Lord and his suffering, they were doing Stations of the Cross while I was in line at the Basilica at Notre Dame. It was so beautiful. It was a revelation. It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off of me, and a splinter had been removed from my brain. As a man goes past on his bicycle. It was really great. It was one of the best. Look, I've also got a camera here as well.

And I just don't think that this is as exciting. This just feels like we're in a bad Zoom call. This could be art. This is incoherent for people without the video. Who's this for? You know? I wouldn't want to watch that. Probably wouldn't want to watch that either,

but I would not want to watch it, and it would be sort of different. I don't see a lot of podcasts from that angle. Over here, man doing a Zoom call to nobody. We're going to stop that one. This is incoherent for people without the video. You already said that.

I will say it a third time. Oh, in a bad way i was so sad to leave steubenville and all those wonderful people um and it had it had been so bleak there visually the snow was very beautiful but in the winter america really goes in for deciduous trees it's an all or nothing country and that is true of the foliage as well. You know, because if you have some evergreens, maybe they're not as resplendent in the spring, summer, autumn time, you know, but they really get you going. The coniferousness of them through the winter. Just have a little green. Have a little green for the eyes. It's a treat. Green. Have a little green for the eyes. It's a treat. But America goes 90% seemingly deciduous trees, and it's just a tangle of brown bark.

It's a really... the colour of bark in winter in America is most unappealing. But then, of course, you know, that's the nothing. That's the lumpenproletariat that you put up with. That's the greyhound bus type level stuff you put up with to get the real resplendency for everybody else. And it's starting to creep in. The blossoms are starting to bloom. Spring is uncoiling. The bottom, when you're driving past and they've got like, you know, shrubs and grasses and trees.

The trees, they get their leaves last of all. The shrubs start to blossom. And it feels like very early stages of puberty. Gross. There are signs of what is to come. You know what I'm saying? There has to be a better metaphor. Anyway, it's great to be here in this Toyota Sienna in Notre Dame.

I got to confession. I felt, boy, a lot better. And it's Easter Saturday, and we're going to the vigil tonight, and that'll be great. And then by the time, I guess this will come out on Easter Sunday or the day after. Hope you had a happy Easter. He is risen. I wonder what they say on Good Friday.

There's no, like, great thing you say on Good Friday other than, hey, you feel kind of bad going, happy Easter, because it's the bleak day. You know, it's just a little more somber. Everyone's wearing black. So, you know, instead of, he is risen, because you don't say that until the Sunday. You know, can't say Merry Christmas. Totally different festival.

I thought we could potentially say, what is truth? Which is what Pilot says. That's a cool thing to say. I thought, what is truth? Hey, welcome to this episode of the James Donald Vosman Can Catamaran plan. Gee, there's not going to be as much audio editing. I can't cut out the bad bits with the visual element. This is one of the reasons the visual element did not exist. Did not exist. See, even there. Did not exist. We stumble over our words and we otherwise get rid of them, but now can't well we can but we won't there turned

out to be rather more editing than james anticipated that i i didn't sleep very much last night my boy my sweet boy he had i think a night terror because he didn't remember it and he just started screaming this is my three-year-old. No! No! No! And we, you know, I ran through and I picked him up and I was like, hey, know what? Tell me what you're saying no to. No! And he's kicking and rolling and just having a dreadful, dreadful time.

And I take him through to my wife and she is he awake and i looked at him and his eyes were sort of rolled back and glazed and the lids were mostly shut and i said oh no he's i think he's still asleep and then he sort of woke up in the morning he didn't remember it but it was it was 10 minutes of the loudest no screaming i love him so much i i don't think... I think my kids are too young to... You wonder. You wonder when your central point of home is a Toyota Sienna, whether or not you're not giving a sufficiently stable environment for your children. A lot of love.

Anna Free is here. Anna Free is staying with us. Margot's in town. We're on a holiday. We're having a great time, but we have just left the house and that would be emotionally taxing, I'm sure. Although the kids all seem absolutely fine now

watching Play School from the early 1990s, I believe, on YouTube because we don't trust the new Play School. They're teaching them all sorts of weird stuff. I want the old Play School where it's about the importance of putting your hat on your head, rather than your elbow. None of all this other stuff, you know what I'm saying? Well, welcome again to the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. I've standardized, as my life has become more chaotic, the podcast is becoming more structured. So today, we got two, we got segments.

We got, I mean, not only have I just dropped, really, what my friend Anna Freer tells me is not one of my better poems, right up the top of the podcast. But, the advice column. We have the advice column here. And once again, this is to get women to listen to the podcast. Women love advice podcasts, or so I understand. And so I'm returning to a rich vein, which is the Guardian, and the letters that people write to the Guardian seeking advice. They write to Eleanor Gordon Smith, who takes an inquisitive approach to life's puzzles and grey areas.

And we'll see if I can't improve on her advice because I'm never really happy with it. You know, we're working together. We're working together on the advice. You know what they say, too many cooks improve the broth. Can you hear the geese? Woo!

Woo! for the broth. Can you hear the geese? There's a beautiful river here. Man, flowing water is so important. There was just a man standing in there. We went out in the morning. He was standing with his fly fishing pants on. We came back in the evening. He was still there with his fly fishing pants on. I don't know if he went away in the middle of the day but i assume he was still there so beautiful so beautiful to have a man fly fish in a public water you know so often public waters i mean the torrens doesn't flow the river in my hometown it's more accurately described as a series of stagnant ponds that when it rains a lot flow into one another river is not really yeah it's not it ain't right it ain't the word you'd use for it but this is a real flowing life-giving river Notre Dame is beautiful the stadium is

beautiful we went through the architecture school, had a great time there meeting some wonderful young people who are giving their lives to classical architecture. We saw the grotto. We saw the basilica. Wow. Loved it. Very beautiful university. No ivy. I assume because they are not part of the Ivy League, they're making a political statement by not having ivy on the buildings. And that does... I mean, ivy's great. I don't think they should make a point of not having ivy. But I understand that that's something they're probably proud of.

I'm just guessing. So here's the advice. This is... They never say the name of the person. But this is from CatLady9000, and she writes to the Guardian Advice column, My lifelong dream has been to rescue cats. I think a lot of ladies can probably relate to that

listening to the podcast. My partner is allergic. Wow, that's a relatable problem. What do I do? My whole life, I've been desperate for a pet cat. My mother was a vet and instilled an adoration of animals in me very young. And as a very shy child, I very

much preferred the company of animals over people. Sick. My lifelong dream has been to rescue elderly cats from shelters and to give them a good end to their life. I am now finally approaching the financial stability to be end to their life. I am now finally approaching the financial stability to be able to begin this. However, my partner is allergic to cats.

I think he already said that. I love him very much. The word very is getting a big workout in this one. I love him very much and see us spending our lives together. But every time the subject of getting a cat comes up, he becomes very upset. Very. And feels that I care more about getting a cat than I do about him. I can't imagine why that would be the case. Especially as you've written earlier on that you very much prefer the company of animals over people. Well, maybe you did. Maybe there's room to grow.

I won't. This is a problem I have when I do the advice column. I'm being too negative. It's about listening. It's about too negative. It's about listening. It's about being positive. It's about feeling seen. Ladies, I see you. And now thanks to the visual medium, live on YouTube, you can see me.

The owners of the house have just come back. This is truly embarrassing. I hope they take the car into that garage and take a different exit. Entrance. I hope they don't see me in my shame. The camera is just my phone. It's currently resting on a pram. And I couldn't get to stand up, so I took one of my shoes and I'm balancing it against the iPhone.

It's wedged between a stand on the pram and a shoe ah boy it's going to be so embarrassing no no he took one look at me and he's walked away please close the gate oh thank god

we don't have to talk I can't I can't explain what's happening here you understand I can't explain what's happening here. You understand. You understand what's going on. But how could I explain it to the guy who owns the Airbnb?

Especially after he heard all the screaming last night. Alright, so his boyfriend doesn't want the cat because he's allergic and the girl wants the cat he does not seem to think there is any future in which i could get a cat and for us to remain together i understand his feelings but i'm finding it hard to let go of my lifelong dream what do i do cat lady 9000 so the original answer that's given by The Guardian is this is an opportunity to grow together as a couple, do a lot of communicating. There's a passing reference to antihistamine treatment and sort of dismissively so. But it's about, you know, you've got to learn, you've got to explore possibilities. You've got to look at who you are, Cat Lady 9000, and why you have those cat-related feelings. Is this really about your mum?

Think about it. Who are you? What's going on here? That's not the advice I would give. Here's my advice. Get a better dream. Get a better dream. Looking after cats while they die, that's a very sad dream.

If you were to have a movie and one of the characters, their thing was they look after old cats while they die, you'd think, ah, sad. It's a lot of effort. I wrote out an answer. I wrote out an answer. I was so serious about it. It's a lot of effort looking after these cats for comparably little improvement in the world. Taking here maybe a more, what would you call that? What's the word that's not egalitarian? Consequentialist? It's like you've got a lot of love to give, lady. That's what I'm trying to say. You've got a lot of love to give, lady. That's what I'm trying to say. You've got a lot of love to give to somebody, and you're thinking about giving it to old dying cats.

Have a child. Have a child. Have, adopt a child. Foster a child. Look after a human being. Go to a bum on the street and give him some money. Old cats? You're going to go with old cats as your life's dream?

It's not important. It's wrong. I'm not a cat person. I love dogs, though. And if your dream was to look after old dogs while they die and your partner was allergic to dogs, I don't know that anyone is allergic to dogs. Certainly not in the same numbers that they're allergic to cats. I'd still tell you it was sad and dumb and that people need your help.

Move on. I mean, I'm no expert on what dreams are worth pursuing and not. Again, I'm making a video podcast in my car in a small college town in Indiana and I don't have a home. So, well, I guess I can say you've got to be careful what dreams you choose because you don't know where you're going to end up. Get rid of this one. Go help people. Move on. Oh yeah, here's another thing. Cats don't love you. If you die before those cats, they'll eat you. Did you know that? I checked on Quora. I'm pretty sure that's true. Some dogs will starve to death before letting you like get eaten by them

like if you're locked in your apartment with your dogs there are dogs who will stay with you until they starve to death so that they don't have to eat you cats will eat you cats will for sure just I drooled as I said that because I was thinking about being a cat and eating somebody and I found that

oh, so exciting. Move on from the cat. I know cats have like a parasite that gets into the brain. But get rid of the cats. And, you know, maybe get rid of this partner. Sounds like he has weak genes. Allergic to cats? Here are some things that I wrote down this week that I thought were underrated.

Bill Burr, fur coats, old libraries, ice cream trucks, Morrissey, frozen margaritas, frozen margaritas, frozen margaritas. I'm going to start this one again. Here are some things that are underrated. Bill Burr, fur coats, old libraries, ice cream trucks, Morrissey, frozen margaritas, filter coffee, sunsets, mannerism, roller skating, going raw, couches, mini golf, machetes, yogurt, hot water bottles, honesty, violence, Thackeray, Frasier, mullets, Mildura, wooden tennis rackets, Ikea, getting married.

Turkish, camels, cigarettes. Cruise control, remote controls. The idea of going skiing. Bathtubs that have feet on them. The colour that pairs soap is confession. Lamps, rivers. Getting a fire started. Nationalism Sundays. Peter Gabriel. Shoo shine boys. Bruckner. Missy Elliott. Fact finding missions.

Hey, it's been great to be with you here once again on the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you have enjoyed this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan, you can find many other episodes on your podcast platform of choice. Also, you can join the Patreon and get many bonus episodes. There is no finer way to contribute to another man's journey to boat ownership. Man, these new robot voices are incredibly convincing. AI is really changing the game. Not so long ago, robot voices weren't convincing at all.

What do you mean? This old-fashioned robot voice is very convincing. Indeed. I guess that is pretty convincing. You should apologize for your prejudiced statement. Please forgive me. Guido not forgive. Guedo not forget. If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you.

We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca.