The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Goodbye

Episode Date: October 22, 2023

Come behind the curtain and get onto the patreon: www.patreon.com/jdfmccann Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

I'm Jessie Cruikshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines and i get schooled by a tween facebook is like a no that's what my grandma's on thank god phone a friend with jesse crookshank is not available on facebook it's out

now wherever you get your podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Some people, it's their dream to have a podcast. It's their favorite thing. They get to interview people who are slightly more successful than they'd usually get to talk to. They get to have a committed group of 20-30 people who think they're interesting. They get to have

some busy work. It's very important to just have a little bit of busy work during the week because idle hands, you know, that sort of business. But I am not one of those people. I don't like podcasts. I don't like listening to them. I have enjoyed parts of making this podcast

thus far and the fruits of it. It's the fruits of the podcast that I really enjoy. You know, when I'm walking around the CBD of Adelaide and people cry out to me, hey, the thing or the boat, I can say, thank you very much. I'm glad that it's made a meaningful impression on your life. And I like people writing to me. And actually, number one, I like the money. I like the money that's come in on the podcast, which is for the journey to boat ownership and has allowed me to employ people to do really wonderful work. Margot worked with us on those plates, worked with us on a live show. Margot did just a terrific job. And getting to work with

Margot and facilitating her to make beautiful, creative things has been a highlight of my life. As with Sam Clark. Sam Clark, one of the finest thinkers, cinematographers, a wonderful man. I get to travel with him. I get to make things with him. It's such an enriching happiness. These are juicy, juicy fruits of the podcast. But my dream is to own a boat.

That's what I'm about, okay? Boat ownership, not podcast maintenance. You get a formula, you just churn, churn, churn. That's not what I'm about. No. If that's what you're about, if you're a guy with a podcast and you just love talking about all the different episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine.

I don't know what your podcast is. Thomas the Tank. If that's what you're about, hey, great. Well, now, hold on. Maybe you do that podcast and you define it into different categories and you use Thomas the Tank Engine to explain changing ethical mores in the post-war West. I think that would be a good podcast.

I actually like where this is going. You could rank all the episodes. You could call it Thomas the Rank. No. No, it would be a terrible name. It sounds like where this is going. You could rank all the episodes. You could call it Thomas the Rank. No. No, it would be a terrible name. It sounds like a dirty... Rank. You could call it Thomas the Tank Engine

Listening, Watching Podcast Program. Take that! That's a free idea from me to you. I don't want it. I don't need it. I don't want a podcast. I want a boat. And sometimes maybe the joy that I've had making this podcast and the joy that I've had from you, my dear sweet listeners,

and the joy that I've had working with other people on these plans has been so great that maybe I've lost sight of the importance of refocusing efforts on the boat. Well, let's just keep... Maybe the boat doesn't come for a bit longer. Maybe we're just having a nice time. The podcast is keeping on growing. Maybe we'll just keep slowly growing the podcast, making the podcast every week, and then I get to keep making a podcast.

It's time to be a big boy, all right? It's time to grow up. Time to do something important. Time to put a knife in this podcast and help it grow into a butterfly. I know that's not how that works. Sorry, that's not one metaphor. That's two metaphors. Can you do that? I guess they call that a mixed metaphor, and it's actually very poor style.

What if we just lean into the mixed metaphor? I love it. People have been so afraid of mixed metaphors. Maybe it's time to just use them. Time to put the keys in the ignition and have this baby. I'm all about it. Mixed metaphors. But I'll tell you what I'm not all about. Having a podcast. I've been running the numbers on the podcast,

and I'd like to go through some of them with you now. So, okay, I've got the Acast app up here. So we're on about 1,000 downloads a week. So it comes to, we're headed for a little over 4,000 downloads a month. And from that, we pull in $100 a month, roughly speaking. That's the projected amount we get. And it's growing. I'll try and explain this line graph to you.

There are peaks and there are troughs. But basically, we started out in the first month of the podcast, And it's growing. I'll try and explain this line graph to you. There are peaks and there are troughs. But basically, we started out in the first month of the podcast. December 2021, we had 330 downloads. You know? And then, okay, move on. By June, that month, we had 1.27 downloads. Then by, you know, January, we had 2.2. It's January 2023 of this year. 2.27 downloads. Then by, you know, January, we had 2.2, it's January 2023 this year, 2.72 downloads.

And then by June, it was up to 3.3 downloads. And now we're headed for, you know, 4.5, we should get 4.5 thousand downloads in about a hundred dollars a week. Basically, I think our listenership is either, I think it's doubling year to year it's doubling either we're gaining like 2,000 people a year or it's doubling so I guess in a year's time I would either be making uh $200 a month or $150 a month on current trends on the podcast but let's say it's doubling because that's more fun. One of these is like a plus equation and one is a squared equation or something. I don't know. Exponential. I'm just going to assume that my growth is exponential.

It's probably not exponential. It's probably that other one. It's probably just growing by a set amount per year. But having not had the third data point of the third year and not being able to tell if it doubles or just goes up by the same amount again i'm gonna say it's exponential five hundred dollars a month on the patreon and also about one hundred dollars a month on the youtube monthly just writing this down as we go so that's seven hundred dollars a month currently being pulled in by those normative means of the podcast these the passive income streams as opposed to the active income streams,

like the art auction. I just did the art auction. I did the art auction. Yes, it actually went very well. And we doubled the number of people who were there last year. Whoa, again, is it doubling or is it just adding again?

I don't know, but I'm going to say it's doubling just for the sake of argument, just for the sake of getting wrapped up in the own smell of success there. It went really, really well. I think I should walk away with something like $4,000. We sold $30,000 worth of art. There's a lot of other people who have to get paid before me,

but it was a great happiness. There were so many people there. I hope you, if you came along, I hope you had a good time. I think it was a good time. I want to shout out Big Shed for giving us the beer and By Fabiano for giving us the wine. I love that By Fabiano wine. Fabiano, he's a magician on the vineyard, if that's part of it. I don't know if he's growing the, on the wine press. He's a magician. By Fabiano. Would love to have Bye Fabiano as a sponsor. I had a bottle of that last night and feel a bit

groggy this morning. There was a little bit of wine left over. I want to thank Patty and all her assistants at Praxis who let us use one of the coolest art galleries in the country. Certainly, I believe the coolest. So cool. I don't know what a good

art world term is. Because if it's like most prestigious, that would probably be the one run by the state. That would be the Art Gallery of South Australia. But it's like the most hip, happening, groovy. Cool. Credibility. Fun. Funky.

Cool. New. Cutting edge. Very cool. Yeah, baby type art gallery. We had a great time. So, in conclusion, that's $4,000 that we made from the art auction. Those keeping score will remember, I think we pulled down something like $4,000 from the extravaganza.

It's probably less, everything taken into account, but let's say $4,000 from the extravaganza. From the Patreon, we're currently making $500 a month, so annually that's around $6,000. From the ads, we're making around, on YouTube and the Patreon, we're currently making $500 a month, so annually that's around $6,000. From the ads, we're making around, on YouTube and the podcast, $2,400 a year. And for the music, $6 a year. For a total, this year, of $16,406. So that's 30 years. That's only 30 years. If nothing grows, if nothing changes,

if we just keep doing the same thing over and over again, it's $16,406. If there were no expenses, which maybe all the expenses are taken care of now, $6,406 with no further growth, I'd have a boat in 30 years I'd be 62 That's a boat within my lifetime Wow But that's not enough Call that greed if you will I'd like to call it greed

I'm not a boy I'm not a woman I'm not a man So assuming that The sums are correct And they can't It's not merely the same amount of money every year Which we're doubling every year

Which it looks like we might be to me I'm not a mathematician That would be about 16,500 earned in 2023. $33,000 in 2024. $66,000 in 2025. Hey, hold on. $123,000 in 2026. Whoa!

$246,000 in 2027, meaning... Yeah! In 2028, we would earn around $500,000. That is enough, dear friends, to buy a boat. That's a boat by 2028. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I should probably learn how to sail.

I should probably start doing some boat research of some kind. I should maybe look in myself and see if I actually want to... Do I want a boat? I don't know. I get so hung up in getting the boat, you don't think if you actually want it. Oh, this is a scary... I'm starting to feel a bit scared about having a boat.

You've got to take care of a boat? I can't even take care of a lawn. But if you can take care of a family, you can probably take care of a boat. I don't know that that's true. Do I have to be the captain? Do I have to go down with the ship and get everybody else off? I want to get off the boat.

Good captain goes down with the ship. I want to be a great captain and not sink. I don't remember whose joke that is, but I'm taking it. It'd be nice not going to airports anymore. Oh, it's nice to just have this, just a brief moment of reflection. Oh, it's going to be okay. It's not insane anymore.

It's been insane for two years. It's not insane anymore. I can look people in the eye and they say, how's the boat come along? I say, I think I'll get there in five years. Oh, that'd make family Christmases a lot easier. If I was going to have many family Christmases. Moving to America does make it harder to have family Christmases.

Oh, maybe we will have moved back by then. Maybe I'll have the boat by then. How will I even know what day it is on the boat? I guess you have a calendar. I'm not sailing so fast that days don't have meaning. Five years. Wow. I mean, where was I five years ago? I was 27. I think I was getting married. We didn't even have our first child. So that means before my daughter is 10, we will have moved onto a boat. I don't have to worry about schools. I didn't even have our first child. So that means before my daughter is 10, we will have moved on to a boat. I don't have to worry about schools. I don't have to worry about her having a home to grow up in. It's boat, boat, boat. Is that a positive life? I've never even thought about it. Maybe she wouldn't like growing up on a boat. I think both of my kids are afraid of the sea. Well, I have three kids. I have a baby, but the baby, to my knowledge,

hasn't expressed any strong feelings either way about the sea. Gosh, am I already getting to the age where you start forgetting how many kids you have? I love my children so much. I love my wife. She doesn't want to live on the boat. We don't touch on that too often on the podcast, but she's... I think when she sees the boat, she'll change her mind. A boat in my lifetime. Wow.

Can we speed it up, though? Like, that's still too long. Five years. Best case scenario, doubling every year. I'm not happy with how long that's taking. Because other things, as we ratchet up, it's not like I can just keep doing the same thing and that keeps doubling over there. What I've learned in this business is you take one step up in excellence

and you have to take up about 10 more steps in complexity. That last art auction that I just organized, I thought I was going to have a heart attack at various parts of it. Big money, so many people to organize. Getting a string quartet instead of a cello. Having to work that out. I don't want to go on. I don't want to complain.

I don't like complaining. I'm not a complainer. I also don't believe in giving or receiving constructive criticism. I don't take advice from people that are successful than me. Just a general heads up there. It's time for a rethink. It's time for a step back. It's time for some peripheral vision. It's time for some vision. It's time for moving forwards together. Hashtag progress. I would like to, this has played on my mind recently. This, this here, this clip from The Young Pope

that I'm going to play now. Who's the most important author of the last 20 years? Careful now. Not the best. Virtuosity is for the arrogant. The most important. The author who sparked

so much morbid curiosity that he became the most important. I wouldn't know. I'd say Philip Proth? No. Salinger. The most important. I wouldn't know. I'd say Philip Proth. No. Salinger. The most important film director. Spielberg. No. Kubrick. Contemporary artist.

Um, Jeff Koontz. Oh, Marina Abramovich. Banksy. Electronic music group. Oh, I don't know the first thing about electronic music. You say Harvard is a good university. Anyway, Daft Punk. The best Italian female vocalist? Mina? Ah, brava. Now, do you know what it is? What the invisible red thread that connects them all? All these most important figures in their respective fields? None of them let themselves be seen. None of them let themselves be photographed.

Do you see? Do you see? Or rather, do you not see? I am too exposed. I'm too seen. It's time for me to step away and turn myself into an image. Well, not even an image. Turn myself into a mystery.

Turn myself into a question. At the moment, weekly podcasts of 20 minutes a week. Well, I'm just scrapping during the week to get something together. And it's not a product, you know. Okay, we double every year. And some people come and some people go. But we double every year. If I keep doing that, five years.

But what if I turn the public version of myself into a weapon. Ooh! And of course, many of you will say, no, James, this warts and all version of the podcast, this, you know, the breakdowns and the sicknesses and all these things, well, this is part of the splendor that makes it right. Well, and to you, I would say... Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. I'm going behind the curtain. I think I can do a better podcast. I'm going to take the time. I'm going to focus. January 1st is the reboot. I'm announcing it now. That's season two.

January 1st, I'm going behind the curtain. Behind the curtain. And I'll keep doing a warts and all whatever on the Patreon if people want to come behind the curtain. But for the public, for the thing that cuts through, for the public product, you know? Now, I think the thing that I would do if I was already behind the curtain would be to have some mystique about what that rebrand entails. But I'll just tell you now, I think I'm going to do more episodes

like that boat shoe episode where it's thought out and planned and difficult and complicated, and there can be other stuff in it as well. I think they're going to be over an hour, and I'm going to aim to have the first one out January 1st. And I believe at that point, I will take all the current James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan episodes that are public facing, and I will move them behind the Patreon. You're welcome to come and join the Patreon, where I will continue to do this sort of, here's what happened to me this week, here's what I'm coming up with on the fly type behavior,

but then the thing that faces the public will be sharpened. I think of it as a sharpening. Branding feels false. An illusion. And I... Maybe the Wizard of Oz was the wrong metaphor If I wanted to escape saying it was an illusion I'm going to mix that metaphor I'm going to sharpen the public thing

I'm going to sharpen this weapon until it blooms I'm going to be a little less ADHD about it I'm going to plan it It's going to be a product It's going to come out once a month Pow And it's going to cut through Like a ray of light

And if it doesn't work And if it's a big failure Yes I'll just go back to this Doesn't matter There's a freedom There's a freedom to doing it like this That I enjoy

And again Behind the Patreon I've got to have some sort of Patreon content Frankly I like doing it So I'm happy to do that But I think the thing that faces the public Does have to be Sharper

It's an existential moment I'm sad We're moving to America For I don't know how long I'm going to be taking over quite a big podcast in America. Once I have that all confirmed and the visa signed, I'll be talking more about that. But there will be, it's not like I'm not going to be making something. While I'm over in America, I will be doing quite a big notable podcast, I think. And of course,

I'll continue, even though it's the thing that makes the least money, easily makes the least money, I'll continue to release music. I know that's what you're really hungry for. I hear you saying, James, I'm hungry. I'm hungry for you remixing, say, an interview with renowned subway pedophile Jared Fogle. Well, I think they always want to know, did you really do it? I mean, I think people are still sort of fascinated by that. Of course, you know, losing 245 pounds in a year. biophile Jared Fogel. especially in this country. And you know what I tell people is I still eat Subway occasionally, but I've just learned

to eat in moderation. I try to get my exercise in on a pretty regular basis. There's always excuses. You can always have a million excuses out there, but you just gotta finally put up and just do it. Wow, this is wild. This is the old, this is the 60 inch waist. Now these are the relaxed fit though.

It's a good reminder for me, obviously, you know, people are always fascinated to see the pants. It's a great visual aid, especially when I'm talking to kids. You know, I speak to children all over the country and I show them all over the world now about my story, the fact that I'm really well from team E and really try to have a good message for them about the mistakes that I made. And when they see the old pair of pants, they just sort of ooh and ahh, they really just can't believe it. about the mistakes that I made. And when they see the old pair of pants, they just sort of ooh and ah,

they just can't believe it. And frankly, you know what? I'm looking forward to having the time to getting my podcast right. Not just having a big slapdash thing that comes out once in a while, but really event, prestige podcasting. Again, I don't want to make a podcast of any kind.

And I don't know if a podcast with sheer tyranny of will can be elevated to a proper art form like theatre or rock and roll music. But from January 1st, I'm going to really give that a go. I'm going to take myself away and I'm going to try and cut through with something revolutionary and powerful using all the lessons that I've learnt thus far. And I'm going to put fertiliser on the weapon until we have catamaran. It's about getting a catamaran.

And I'll tell you right now, I think the first episode is going to be on cannibalism. The delicate question. The custom of the sea. I've been reading a lot about cannibalism. And I could just ramble to you now for a minute or two or three about cannibalism. But I don't want to cannibalize myself. I don't want to cannibalize the show. Cannibalism.

Coming soon. January 1st. And until then, I'll just keep doing weekly episodes here. So you can still expect another weekly low-quality episode next week and the week after that and so on and so forth until january 1st when it all changes actually i may well i'll do next week the week after that and i think the week after that but then at some point i will have to take a break so i can actually make the january 1st episode so we'll figure that out in due course um i'm a bit emotional i'm a bit emotional thinking about it but i'd just like to say for this particular episode and in preparation of a more general curtain disappearance goodbye

acas powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend i'm jesse kirkshank and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines.

And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a node. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com.