The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Post Modern Laziness Self Sabotage

Episode Date: July 10, 2022

Hello, this is the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan podcast. It is about one man's journey to boat ownership.For a bonus episode each week (and more) join the patreon: www.patreon.com/jdfmccannThis week I'm talking about quiz nights and sea grass and lettuce and so on and so forth. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered.

Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it. Find your push.

Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. CBC News brings the story to you as it happens. Hundreds of wildfires are burning. Be the first to know what's going on and what that means for you and for Canadians. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know. CBC News.

This would be a really good place in the podcast for intro music to go. Is there any intro music? No. Is there any intro music? No. There is no intro music. No theme song. No nothing. What is the reason for this? Is it post-modern? Is it laziness? Is it self-sabotage? Hello and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan, the only podcast where I, James Donald Forbes McCann, drink an entire bottle of red wine while hosting a quiz night and then wake up the next day and try to record a podcast about how I'm going to afford to buy a boat. It's great to be here with you and yes, that is what happened. I hosted the parish quiz night. Last year, where I also hosted the parish quiz night,

I did not write any of the questions. The priest, who is a boomer and a wonderful man, but a boomer, well, Gen X, he's on that cusp. He wrote the questions and, you know, it's songs about cold chisel and things that the baby boomers love. Cheap houses and garish clothing. Cold chisel as well. And the millennials who came to the quiz night were devastated, you know. Because they felt like they couldn't compete. Many of them did very well. But it is extremely hard when writing a quiz night at the moment

to have generationally neutral questions. Really challenging. It wasn't so hard, oh, say, I think it was like 10, 15 years ago when you had a television program called Spicks and Specks. In the UK you had Nevermind the Buzzcocks. And you could ask questions about music with a reasonable expectation that younger people and older people would both know about, say, The Beatles and Lady Gaga.

That there was some continuing pop music going on through the mainstream press. You could still have a bonafide start. We don't have that anymore. There's been dislodging. The Zoomers, the young people, the post-millennials, they don't have any idea who the Beatles are or were. Two of them are, two of them were. And the older people, I mean, don't ask them who Dua Lipa is.

They won't be able to tell you. I'll say, is that the Latin phraseology for two lips? Excuse me. So I wrote half of the culture questions this time and the priest wrote half the culture questions. I think it was pretty good. It wasn't so, you know, I was pretty nervous and I did down that bottle of red wine,

but I think it went very well and a fun time was had and I think we raised a grand for the Hutt Street Centre and the homeless. I put some stories of it on Instagram and people said, is this a boat fundraiser? And I said, no, sadly it Street Centre and the homeless. I put some stories of it on the Instagram and people said, is this a boat fundraiser? And I said, no. Sadly, it's to help the homeless. Shame. Shame, shame, shame on you.

Sorry about that. But I think a quiz night for the boat could be fun. Maybe I should tour a quiz night. You know, the positive thing of touring a quiz night is you don't actually have to write a new show. I could just host a quiz night in a different city to raise money for the vote. Not a bad idea, Jimmy.

File that one away. What were the questions I wrote for the young people? Here's one. I wrote this one because I thought this could be got by young people and fat people. Which Australian pop star recently had their own... Keep it gender neutral. Make it more difficult to guess, McDonald's meal?

The answer, of course, is the Kid Leroy with one of the most disappointing McDonald's meals I've ever had, ever. I think it was a cheeseburger, no pickle. Shame. Shame. I love the pickle because I did order the Kid Leroy meal. It also has a frozen Coke, chips, and six nuggets. Nuggets.

Nuggets. Nuggets. And that's how you know when a recession is on, is because McDonald's stops having new products and just starts to find new ways to rehash the old because they want to save money. And so what they've been doing over the last month, post, someone's tooting outside,

post Kid Leroy meal, it's all been, ah, try one of the classics. Which is a way of saying, we've got no good, we've got nothing, we've got no new ideas. Hey, thanks for being here. Thanks for being here at the James Donald Forbes Catamaran Plan. Lots to talk about in the meeting today.

Lots happening. But before we open the meeting, I'd like to do one of my personal favourite news segments. Perhaps it'll be one of yours. It's Ocean News. Ocean News! This is a story from 9news.com.au. There's some attribution for them. Fresh produce has reached eye-watering prices in recent months.

I think we all know that. How does that tie in with the ocean, James? I'll tell you. Even aquarium creatures are being impacted by the cost of living crisis. What? Yes. There's a dugong called pig. Not a particularly nice name for a dugong.

I would have called him Mr. Dugong if I had my way about it. And he lives at the Seed Life Aquarium in Darling Harbour. And so here's the thing about this dugong is they feed him lettuce. His diet virtually exclusively consists of lettuce. And as anyone will note, man, the price of lettuce is going up. I was at Subway. Subway still have lettuce? And I thought, goodness me, how can Subway still afford to have lettuce? They must have finished paying off Jared's victims, for they've got that kind of money splashing about. Anyway, Pig the Dewgong, blah, blah, blah, the story, vegetable crisis. So here it is. So Pig the Dewgong, he eats

about 30 kilograms of lettuce a day. And this costs the aquarium $300 per diem. That's outrageous. You can't claim that much as a human on your taxes on a work trip for food. I don't think. I might try. At the start of the year, the aquarium was spending $7,200 a month on lettuce. But now, get this. They're spending, in the month of June, 18 grand on lettuce. And that's not even to incorporate all the other things that they probably do for the dugong,

like dugong massages and entertainments for the dugong, cleaning events. So dugongs are an endangered species. It says this in the article. And they usually eat seagrass in the wild. And you'd think, reading that, oh, great, well, let's just get some seagrass for this dugong. Not so easy. Seagrass also endangered.

So not only is the dugong endangered, the food they eat is endangered too. I mean, that's probably good. If one was endangered and the other wasn't, like if there wasn't enough seagrass and there were heaps of dugongs, well, they would starve. And if there was heaps of seagrass and there were no dugongs, well, the seagrass would get uppity above its station, you know, flirting, hey, no one's eating me. But because there are critically low numbers of both

dugongs and seagrass, I like to see that as an equilibrium. So anyway, they feed it lettuce instead of seagrass and the lettuce costs a lot of money too. But then I was reading about seagrass because I hadn't heard of that and I got onto the seagrass, and the lettuce costs a lot of money too. But then, I was reading about seagrass, because I hadn't heard of that, and I got onto the seagrass Wikipedia page. This is the end of Ocean News, by the way. News! And this is, I guess, a new segment called Ocean Facts I Read About on Wikipedia this week. Facts I Read On Wikipedia about ocean things this week. Seagrasses, this is from the Wikipedia page on seagrasses, are the only flowering plants which grow in marine

environments. And I had never even thought about that before, but it did really get me thinking, you don't see a lot of sea flowers, do you? When I think of like plants in the sea it's like weeds right and there's no flowers on the weeds yes very strange but seagrasses they do flower most species undergo submarine pollination wow and complete their life cycle underwater submarine pollination possibly by those underwater bees that we've heard so much about. And seagrasses evolved from terrestrial plants, which means land plants, which recolonized the ocean. I just love the thought of grasses colonizing places. I don't know if that's the scientific term, but that tickled me.

And then you could tell that the next part of the Seagrass Wikipedia page... Listen to this. This doesn't sound like it has any place on a Wikipedia page. From the Seagrass Wikipedia page. Conservation efforts are imperative to the survival of seagrass species. Fine. While there are many challenges to overcome with respect to seagrass conservation, there are some major ones that can be addressed.

Already this is starting to sound like a year 10 essay societal awareness of what seagrasses are and their importance to human well-being is incredibly important as the majority of people become more urbanized sorry as the majority of people become more urbanized, they are increasingly more disconnected from the natural world. This allows for misconceptions and a lack of understanding of seagrass ecology and its importance. That's insane, friend. I would give that across if it was in a year 10 essay. Increasing urbanisation. What, like people out in the agrarian plains in a non-urban context living miles inland? Or like, thank goodness we're out here working the field with Bessie the cow,

having deep and profound thoughts about seagrasses. No! and profound thoughts about seagrasses. No! If anything, it's only the laxity and the freedom of intellect afforded by an urban environment that allows scientists to bother looking into seagrasses. I bet we didn't know very much about seagrasses at all

before urbanisation began. Additionally, it is a challenge to obtain and maintain information on the status and condition of seagrass populations. With many populations across the globe, it is difficult to map the current populations. It goes on. Also, in an ever-growing human population,

there is a need to balance the needs of people while also balancing the needs of the planet. I mean, balance the needs of people while also balancing the needs of the planet? Wouldn't that you there's balance the needs of people while also balancing the needs of the people. Wouldn't you balance them against one another? Or is this is this two balance boards on either end of another balance board that there are three balance boards involved? And you know, why are we bringing overpopulation into the seagrasses? Is there no way for us to live responsibly with a large number of people

and also preserve seagrass numbers? And then I love this. Lastly, it is challenging to generate scientific research to support conservation of seagrass. Limited efforts and resources are dedicated to the study of seagrasses. This is seen in such areas as India and China, where there is little to no plan in place to conserve seagrass populations. I mean, I'm sure some other people around the world are also not paying enough attention to seagrass populations, but for some reason in this Wikipedia page, they have said, hey, India and China, more attention to be paid to the seagrass populations please i assume this is someone who works with indian and chinese governments maybe the first version

of this was written by an indian person and then a chinese person came along went hey no our government isn't obsessed with seagrass enough either anyway go check out the seagrasses wikipedia page i had a great time. Facts I read about on Wikipedia this week. Well, that's probably enough speaking about seagrasses. This is not the James Donald Forbes McCann Seagrass Conversation Hour. This is the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan of Indeterminate Length. And as a result, we must declare the catamaran meeting open i declare it

open now number one on the agenda today the item on the menu number one i spoke to my accountant and lauren wonderful person great conversation i'm going to edit that chat up this week and share it as a special bonus episode. And you can hear some details on the finances and her advice on what we should do next and when it would be wise to update the catamaran business. I asked her if we could get away with not paying any taxes and classify it as a charity. And she said, well, basically, she said no. That's one of several interviews that I've got in the tank. We also are looking at going to Zimbabwe, and I have a wonderful interview about Zimbabwe and the potentiality of doing a show there,

and that'll be coming shortly as well. All right, item number two. There is sort of a TV pilot-ish that I've recorded. It'll basically be a YouTube show that goes for 15 minutes. The current cut is very, very long and my wonderful videographer and video editor has COVID. I don't think I gave him COVID. I think there was enough of an overlap unless I had a really long shed, like some sort of shaggy dog. Or a fabulously wealthy tradesman. But we're working on that.

We're going to finish editing it over the phone. But mostly we just want him to have a speedy recovery, and it's not urgent. So that's for the catamaran plan. It's a money-making scheme. It'll be in a video format, and that'll be out soon. And number three, if you've listened this far, I feel comfortable telling you we've purchased an ad we've spent five hundred dollars on an ad spruiking the james donald forbes mccann catamaran

plan across the acast network so basically when you listen to other people's podcasts and i suspect unless something very strange has happened this podcast well, you might hear an ad for this podcast. And my hope is that people listening to that ad will come here. And indeed, if that ad is running now, that you may have been brought here by that ad. So I want to say thank you if you listen to the ad and you've discovered the show. So many more episodes to listen to. There's a Patreon. A Patreon. You can become a patron on the Patreon if you like and we'd love to have you there. There's a new bonus episode every week.

Many goodies that eventually gets sent out, I promise. And for those who have, you know, if you hear the ad and you're already a listener of the show let me know. Let me know what you think of the ad. I think it's a, you know, if you hear the ad and you're already a listener of the show, let me know. Let me know what you think of the ad. I think it's a, you know, I made the ad. I tried to make it representative of the program. And it was the first time I've regretted calling the show the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan because that really is not an easy thing for people to remember and type out. If it was just called catamaran plan, I doubt there's that many podcasts called catamaran plan. Even if it was just, you know,

why do I need four names? The James McCann catamaran plan. That would be conventional. That would be fairly easy to search, wouldn't it now? Anyway, we live and we learn. So there's an ad out. I spoke to my accountant. There's interviews coming. Woo! Let's have some affirmation. By the way, if you've heard the ad and you're new to this podcast, I've really attempted to make this episode more together and professional

because I've listened back to some of the more recent episodes and many of them just appeared to me to be me having some sort of mental snap which while I'm sure exciting to some people I cannot help but feel might limit the broad appeal which we so desperately yearn for to get enough listeners to buy a boat so affirmation number one I'm going to try and keep it together here's another affirmation I'm going to try and keep it together. Here's another affirmation. I'm going to try to record some buffer episodes that are also together. I'm going to affirm that I'm going to keep it professional. And that means professional in getting all of those mugs to the patrons. I think I can do that this week. Finally, I affirm that I am going to see a physiotherapist tomorrow

because this section of the podcast is being recorded while I'm lying on the floor having done my neck. I think spinning my daughter around, the children get bigger and my body gets weaker and that is a difficult combination. Oh, I affirm. Man, my voice sounds great like that. Oh, yes.

I affirm. It was resonant. Can you hear that? Yeah, maybe I'll record all of these on my back. Oh, my goodness. Hello, everybody. Oh, dear. Anyway, I affirm I'm going to keep making this podcast,

keep making that money, keep moving towards a boat get that bonus episode for you and I'll let you know that I love you, I need you, I miss you I want you, I gotta have you man it'd be nice to do a quiz night yeah it'd be good, I think I could definitely do some sort of quiz night I love hosting quiz nights I love the argumentativeness I love the people who like each other becoming very competitive I like the people who hate their jobs and whose jobs are beneath them get an opportunity to shine and flourish, you know? Or I'm just a humble button pusher,

but at night when I'm playing in the quiz, I am, you know? People love it. I love doing it. I did once write an article for the Sydney Morning Herald attacking quizzes, quiz nights and pub trivia, and saying this was a disgusting waste of people's brains and spirit. And I also stand by that, but I also love it, you know, like I could write an article about how much codeine is evil, but also deep

down, you know, man, if I had some codeine in this room now, I'd take it immediately and make my neck feel a lot better. But my wife, God bless her, always looking out for me, does not permit me ever to have codeine. All right. James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plant affirmations. I love you. Have a good one. Here's a song. post-modern laziness. Self-sabotage. Self-sabotage.

Sabotage. Sabotage. Please get away from. Please get away from. Self-sabotage. Please get away from. Please get away. Stop. Please get away. Stop.

Use more laziness. Self-sabotage. Bye.