The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Quantity

Episode Date: May 29, 2022

On this podcast, Scotty on twitter asked me to make my podcasts longer so they could stretch on for the length of his commute (one hour and twelve minutes). This seemed fair and reasonable. So here, mostly for Scotty, is one our and twelve minutes of James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Planning (plus advertisements).Is it quality? I mean, I don't think so. But it is quantity, and quantity has a quality all of its own.Join the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccannCome and see JDFM live: http://www.jdfmccann.com/comedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.com. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! Welcome to the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. A podcast about one man's journey to board ownership.

It is start time, ladies and gentlemen. Are you ready for start time? No. Pardon me? I am not ready for start time. Well, it is too late for that now. It's great to be here one time. James Donald Forbes Forbes, McCann, Catamaran Plan, episode whatever number this is. And we've got something a little different for you this week. All the other things, all the administrative particularities of this podcast are being worked on.

And you can listen to the previous episode if you'd like to hear me talk about that for a very limited amount of time. However, this week we're doing something a bit different. Because I got a tweet this week from somebody. A tweet response. I tweeted out, here is yet another episode of the JDF MCP. And then I put a link to last week's episode. Respect. Respect.

At Scotty Murren on Twitter responded, Can you please make your podcasts shorter? Now, I knew this was a joke, of course, because my podcasts are usually very short. Indeed, although the thoughtful listener will have had a look at the length of this podcast and said to themselves, but hold on a minute, this one's not. Hold on! Okay, so I wrote to him. I'm doing my best because I really am trying to make him short.

I must say, I think last week's was the shortest ever, unless there was a very short bonus one. But that wasn't a bonus one last week. That was a real episode. And part of the episode was just my stand-up comedy. And it was going to be a longer podcast featuring more of me doing stand-up comedy. But this stand-up got a bit vulgar and bad. So I decided to take some of it out.

Anyway, so Scotty writes... You please make your podcast shorter. And I said, I'm doing my best. And Scotty comments on that with an asterisk. Asterisk. Anyway, the little star hopes James knows it was ironic and I want them to be longer based on the average and my own personal commute time, asterisk.

So I've written to him, well, look, how long is the commute? I'll tone the next one to the length of the commute. Obviously, I meant to write time, and I'm just finding out now, in real tone, that I've made a mistake. And Scotty commented, an hour and 12 minutes, road work dependent. So, Scotty, is this going to be as good an episode minute for minute as the other ones that we've done? Probably not. I can't imagine that it will be.

I simply won't have the time to edit it. But I am starting early. I'm starting recording this, and I think I'm going to have to probably, Dan Carlin hardcore history style, record it in chunks. I'm just going to sit down and record as much as I can, and then I'll do that again and again and again and again, and then we'll edit it up on Sunday, and we will see if we can do an episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan

that is one hour and 12 minutes long. And of course, so far, we have already done three minutes and 12 seconds. So, let's find out what that is as a percentage as we run down the clock. No, we don't need to, but I will. Okay, three. Hold on, how do I work that out as a percentage?

60, because that's one hour, plus 12. 72, so it's three divided by 72 times 100. Oh, look at that. We've already done 4%. 4.1. 6666 recurring. Oh, unlucky. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey. Hey. In the time that it took to figure that out, we've moved up to minute number four. Now it's four divided by 72 times 100. Well, that's gotten us up to 5.5. Look, if we just keep figuring out how far into the podcast we are, and we do that for about six more minutes,

I think we could probably leave the next hour and two minutes blank because no one will bother listening to it. So we'll talk about more next hour and two minutes blank. Because no one will bother listening to it. So we'll talk about more exciting and interesting things than that. But on my way back into town, I got a cab. And it was an old Croatian man who was the driver of the cab. And I knew he was a Croatian man from a couple of things. Number one, he had Croatian hair. There is a very specific, very thick, wiry hair common to Croatian people. Prove

me wrong. And secondly, he told me repeatedly and enthusiastically that he was Croatian. he was Croatian. He asked me where we were going and I told him my address and he said, you've got a Croatia club? I said no. And he said you've got a Croatia club? Because I live in the inner west and there's a Croatia club in the inner west. And I said oh yeah and he said every Fridayiday i said well my best friend is croatian and he said your best friend croatian and he'll never take you to croatia club

i said no never and he went made that noise and then we just had a wonderful conversation about all things Croatian. It was a real treat. He said there was a Croatian electric car company. I asked if I knew about that. He asked me if I knew that Nikolai Tesla was Croatian. Croatian? Croatian, Croatian, Creole nation. I didn't know that Nikolai Tesla was Croatian. I thought he was a Serb. I think the Serbs claim him. And then he told me about the Croatian Six, and we spoke about politics, and he said a couple of things about politics that really stayed with me. He said,

Gov Widlum was backed by Yugoslav mafia. I was like, oh. Actually, I had not heard that before. I hadn't heard any of this before. And I was saying, man, I'm finding out all these things about Croatia. It's a cool new electric car company. And he goes, your friend who's Croatian, he is a bad man. Should tell you more about Croatia.

So Amos Gill, if you're listening, disgusting that you've not told me more about Croatia. I feel like Amos has actually told me quite a lot about Croatia, and it's one of the places I'd most like to go. I can tell you right now they've got a thousand kilometres of coastline or something, because the man driving the taxi cab was very eager to share information about the beautiful coastline of Croatia. Also willing to share his thoughts on Serbian people. And he was not keen.

Oh, what else did he say? He said, it was just after the election, and he said, this man Albanese, classic Italian. I said, why? And he said, big mouth of talk, talk, talk, big mother, talk, talk, talk, doesn't do anything. I just, I mean, it's quite early in the premiership of, now, do we call it a premiership? He's the prime minister. Prime ministership doesn't seem right. And I know he's not the premier, but somehow I feel that's still the noun for his reign.

Administration sounds quite American and bureaucratic. Anyway, it's a little too early to tell what the new government will bring. And now it is time for a new segment on the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan, Mechanonomics, a segment where a man who doesn't know anything about economics talks about economics. Some people are saying, well, the economy will collapse. And to this I say, please, hyperinflation would wipe out all of my debts.

Mechanonomics. I long for hyperinflation. I think my family would do quite well off hyperinflation. I think my family would do quite well of hyperinflation. And then people say, well, you don't understand, James. People in the Weimar Republic, they would have to get a wheelbarrow and fill it up with marks to go and buy a loaf of bread. And to this I would only say, yeah, but if we have hyperinflation today, it's not as though we're going to have more paper money. There's going to be a few more zeros when you pay pass.

You know, bring on the hyperinflation, I say. Bring it on. Make it happen. Mechanomics. Of course. And it'll be rather more than $500,000 for the catamaran plan. But I'll be earning more money too. And I'm young and I'm sprightly.

And I think hyperinflation mainly attacks those with savings and you know what i don't know just about anybody with savings do you know anybody with savings i know people who own stocks right which which presumably if that company can adapt to a hyperinflation market are going to be making hyperinflated incomes. Okay, so people with superannuation, you're fine. I know people with mortgages and houses instead of savings. Like, instead of savings, they have equity. But if there's hyperinflation and they have a fixed-price mortgage, which is a big if, but if they do,

it just wipes out. You could buy your mortgage for a sack of beans, probably. And so, you know, your net asset is then you own a full house. That's your saving. That seems much better. No one in this day and age just has a big, you know, gold bars under the bed or anything. And if they did, they wouldn't be affected by hyperinflation. But nobody has just like a sack of dollars kicking about, except the very old. And they will suffer under hyperinflation. That is true. That is true.

Well... If you do know about economics and can explain why that is wrong, let James know, because James thinks it checks out. Well, some people have asked me about why all the swear edits to the podcast, and here's why. It's not because I'm opposed to swearing. I love a good swear, and if you do see me live, and as you may have been aware for the last stand-up that I uploaded, I'm a bit of a sweary man. I like to swear. It's a tick that I've developed over years of living badly. But one day I'd like this podcast to make more money, basically, so that I can get that catamaran sooner. And I find that foul language is a door that closes.

And I've already got so many doors closed to me in terms of making this a successful, lucrative podcast. So I just don't want to close any doors, basically. When someone like San Remo Pastor gets on to me and they say, Hey James, we love the podcast. The podcast is a molto bene podcast and we'd like to sponsor you.

I don't want them to listen to it and go, mamma mia, you say all of the nasty words, James. I want them to say, you're bloody beautiful and we can get behind you. But then of course they'll listen to this episode and they'll say, why were you featuring the hatred spewing out of your Croatian cab driver who said he didn't like Italians? And I'll say, he didn't say he didn't like Italians.

He said that Anthony Albanese was a classic Italian, talking all the time and saying nothing, doing nothing. And they'll say, well, we're not sponsoring the podcast anymore. And I'll say, classic Italians, you did all the talking. You didn't do any of the sponsoring. Oh, hello, James Donald Forbes. McCann here back again for the next part of this very long episode indeed. Warp into the future.

It's the same day, by the way. It's the same day that I recorded the last one. But I have been working mostly in a library. Powering through my charity bird. Well, I don't do it for charity. The charity pays me to write things about birds, and I've been doing that. And I wrote some of a disgusting board game as well, which I'm being paid to do by a company that specialises in disgusting board games.

And then in the middle, because today is the first day on which I have my full licence, I had lunch and a beer. And I've never been able to have a beer at lunch before and then keep driving. And, um, very liberating indeed. Not as liberating as driving to begin with. More libationating anyway. Oh, mercy, mercy me. I wanted to say that while on lunch break, I've been squeezing through the analytics, which is the statistics of who's downloading and where they're from. This is a great thing that I like to do for the podcast. And what I find over and over again, which is slightly upsetting,

we keep growing. That's not the upsetting part. It's good. It's good that no matter what I seemingly try on this podcast, we grow. But the trying thing is that no matter what I try, we grow basically at the same rate. There are episodes of this podcast that have required a huge amount of effort. If you've listened to the History of the Boatshoe episode, there were scripts, there were about 60 different layers of editing in the garage band that I edited on. There was so much editing I had to go out and get someone else's laptop, my brother's laptop,

my brother's laptop, and that episode did as much better than the previous episode as the lowest. I won't say which is the lowest effort, excuse me, excuse me. I won't say which is the, as the lowest. And that episode, ah. And now a special new segment on the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan, in which James has a single beer and struggles to express a simple concept. And that episode did as much better to its predecessor than the lowest episode did better than its predecessor. And that episode did as much better.

And that episode, the highest energy episode, and that episode, what am I trying to say? And that episode, this is what I'm trying to say. And that episode, which was the highest effort episode, was as big an increase in listenership to its predecessor as the lowest effort episode, which I won't say what that is, but if you look back through it and see which of these, does it sound like James put the lowest amount of effort into? That increased by the same amount as well.

No matter is what I'm saying, how much effort I put in, how innovative we become, no matter what the thumbnail picture is, if that's done quickly or dragged out over a series of days, that's never happened, but I'm assuming, no matter if it's just me on the podcast or if I have a guest, it seems to be the same level of increase week to week. No matter if it's just me on the podcast or if I have a guest, it seems to be the same level of increase week to week. Thank you for listening to this installment of in which James has a single beer and struggles to express a simple concept.

What am I to take from that? You know, I guess the thing you take from that is, hey, man, just keep chugging along. Just keep hanging there, baby. The one big thing that does make a big difference, a notable improvement, is the clout. When I've done someone else's podcast or a media commitment, that does really seem to work in getting a bigger audience share. But everything else is just time effort discipline these are the things i hate i hate discipline and yet the weekly nature of it seems to work

extremely well so hey listen maybe this extra long episode will result in a bigger jump up. People will go, finally, the message boards will light up. Hey, everybody, there's an hour and whatever it was, 12 minutes episode that's out now. Finally, it can fill up the commute. And people will listen to that in bigger numbers. But I doubt it. It's always the same it's so much more important to be consistent than it is to have big herculean efforts and then um pitiful efforts do you know what i'm saying

like in which james has a single beer and struggles to express a simple concept better to have an effort of three every single week than an average effort of five made up of tens and ones. Does that make sense? Anyway, this is what I currently believe, and I wish it wasn't true because I... Ah, it makes me feel sad. It makes me feel sad because I've wasted my 20s thinking that glimmering moments of brilliance were the important things.

But actually, as it turns out, as every prudent, judicious person I've ever met has told me, it's just all about going slow, going steady, being conservative, playing a straight bat. Here for a long time, not a good time. But at that rate, I just don't see how I'm ever going to have a catamaran. I really don't. I thought this would be a four-episode podcast, and we're now 20-odd episodes in.

It's simply not good enough oh i'll keep going with it don't you worry about that oh we're not gonna we're gonna we're gonna take the lesson of there not being any lessons other than consistency and we're gonna move with that but i will not stop looking for a bold and innovative way of breaking into the future. I don't know what it is yet. Clearly, nothing that has happened so far is that magnifier. Perhaps the magnifier will be extraordinary length. Certainly extraordinary shortness, as evidenced by the previous episode.

Has only resulted in the improvement you would expect. It is the next day, and I have just finished performing at the James Donald Forsmangan Catamaran Plan Extravagan. Zot! I dropped Kieran home, who did the door and the sound. Thank you, Kieran. Thank you to all the actors who were on. And thank you to everybody who came. Did I do a professional job? No.

Did I do a good job? No. Am I worried that I have now compromised a listenership in Adelaide? Yes. Thank you to all the people who came up and said they thought it was great. I disagreed. And that is the irrevocable gap between audience and performer. To be fair, I cannot remember. I can remember. To be fair.

To be fair. Wait, James, did I do to be fair in the to be fair wait James did you want to be fair yeah I think on balance I'm going to be fair maybe only twice have I ever come off stage

and gone holy dooly I did that one very well but tonight was just very loose and people were

very kind and very tolerant and and I tried a bunch of things and some of them didn't work and some of them I think worked fine and I'm just very grateful to everybody who came out and I'm going to endeavour to be more professional at the next show. And it was not so bad on my end that I would say,

well, that's it, I'm just not performing anymore. No, we'll do more. And one thing is I probably won't cut my hair live on stage in the future. I chopped quite a lot of my hair off on stage in the middle of the show. And from that point on, people were rightly questioning whether or not they were witnessing a man who was in full control of his faculties. As I questioned it as well,

I didn't realize how vulnerable it would make me to have cut my hair. You know, like Samson, or why barbershops are such blokey, masculine places, it's because they're vulnerable places. I see that now, and as I was chopping the hair, masculine places, it's because they're vulnerable places. I see that now. And as I was chopping the hair, I thought, oh, cutting hair is very sensitive and private. And I am, there's a truly unspoken,

so unspoken and unknown taboo that is going on here. It's not merely the cutting of hair. It's something very deep and strange that I'm being trivial with, and it makes me seem weak and crazy. So I won't do that again. But that's a lesson you have to learn, is that there are spiritual dimensions to chopping off your hair on stage with scissors. I didn't know that. Could have guessed. Most comedians wouldn't even do the things necessary to find out. How's that?

That's what I'll tell myself. If you're a normal button-down shirt-wearing person on the project, reading out the news and being fairly conventional and just telling jokes, you never get to find out that if in a basement with people who love your podcast, I assume that was full of people who are listening to and love this podcast. And thank you so much for coming out. So nice if you did. But man, did you think it was weird when I cut my hair? Because from that point on, that was a pivot for me.

Beforehand, I was like, I'm a little frosty, but we're warming up. And who knows? And exciting things are happening. Then I cut my hair. And from that point, I was like, oh, what have I done? That was all I could think about. Anyway, I will become more professional. I will think, plan, grow, learn, earn, yearn, churn, spurn.

You've got to spurn. You've got to become a hard person. Not all hard, but you've got to be hard enough that when you're walking down the street, you don't accidentally sign up to three different charities. You know, because... What's going on here? Sorry, I'm just in my car in my driveway and... Some real fancy driving has taken place.

I mean, this is going to be one of the shorter installments I'd have to think but that's all I have left that's all I have left not that it was a very physically exhausting show I sat down for some of it and I wouldn't usually do that but my goodness it's a big day and there are a lot of

personal things happening that I'm not including on the podcast yet, very exciting and positive things and difficult things, but ah, how hard it is for me to keep secrets. How hard it is for me to be duplicitous and performative. I'm not saying it's impossible. I'm not saying I'm not good at it, but it's hard. I find it to be draining. I think some people, some psychopathic type of people, they get a real kick out of it. You know, some people, some psychopathic type of people, they get a real kick out of it, you know, compulsive liars, that gives them a little sugar hit, but I find it to be draining, and oh, mercy, mercy me.

I did want to say one last thing, but I've absolutely forgotten what it was. So maybe I'll just wind this down and go inside and have a lie down. Show my wife my new hair and suffer the consequence. The consequence will probably just be her going, oh Jimmy, you don't have to do that. She's a good woman and I love her. And there was that just one thing that I wanted to say and I'm really struggling to remember what it was. Man! Man, what was it?

It's at the absolute recesses. It's right, it's right next to me. It's right next to me in the brain department. Oh, sugar. No, I'll never remember what it is. If I do remember, I'll just quickly record it. I'm sorry it is the next day and i remembered what it is that i wanted to mention that i didn't mention

and it was excuse me i just walked out some stairs so now i'm huffing and puffing and as i sit down at my desk i'm just surrounded by things that i have to do there's a tie that i've got to put in the mail sorry chris i owe you a tie oh some things i have to put in the tie that I've got to put in the mail. Sorry, Chris, I owe you a tie. Oh, some things I have to put in the recycling that I've left up here for far, far too long. It was the truth. It was that a couple of people after the show came up to me last night and they said, what I thought about that was, it felt very true. Some version of that, like there was an honesty. There was an immediateness.

There was a lack of facade to the show. And they all said that was a really great thing. And I really appreciate that feedback. That's, however, not what I think would be a successful thing for me to aim for going forward. Authenticity. I think authenticity. It's cheap, isn't it? I mean, you just be honest and you present yourself warts and all, but to truly have a facade. This is what I aspire to, like a grand facade that people can invest in rather than just,

oh, that's James. He's a crazy person and he's very open about that. What about, hey, James is doing well. Now, that won't be true, but if I was well enough, I could construct a facade. And so that's what I'd like to do maybe for the next live show is do it with more of a facade, you know, and that would involve maybe wearing something other than what I was wearing just before I went on stage.

I could be wearing an outfit of some kind. And maybe knowing what I was going to say and not having to read some of it off my phone. That would be good too. I think rehearsals, professionalism, razzle-dazzle. That's what I'm going for in the future. So to everybody who said they thought that authenticity was good, thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And I hope you also enjoy the inauthentic facade to come. What else is happening today? I have a huge amount of work that I'm going to get done. You don't need to hear about that. You know what? Let's start the facade now. We've done however long this podcast has gone for thus far. That's all been sort of open and direct.

And now we begin the facade component. I could do a more, I could put on a different voice, couldn't I? Rather than my normal voice, I could put on some sort of, hello there. I don't know, maybe not that one. Hey, how's it going? I'm trying to do like commercial radio voice, but I was always really bad at it. Hey everybody, how's it going? And welcome to the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. Oh, we've got a great big show coming up for you today. We've got, and then I'll say what I've got. That's not right.

That's not quite right either. That's not quite right either. Well, it's not enough to just have a facade, is it? One also needs to decide what that facade is going to be. I don't know what the most effective facade is. Something broad, first of all. I don't mean broad as in lots. I mean broad as in a lady.

And I'm going to use this voice because I think that will help me. Ooh. Coming up on the James Donald Fox McCann, Gatimaran Blanche, ooh, we're going to talk about true crime. Hey, this is James Donald Fools for Can. And welcome to the section of the show where I put on a calm and pleasing facade. You know, in life, we all face trouble. Some of us face trouble every single day.

Sometimes it feels like there is no way out. But that's, yeah, that, oh boy, it's hard to keep up this facade. All right, let's start again. I'm going to get it right. Here we go. I'll get through it. Here we go. Hey, I'm James Donald Forbes McCann.

You know, sometimes life can seem hard, but in those moments it's important to remember that you can just keep going. It's cool, man. It's cool. You can just keep going. It's going to be okay. Hey, there we go. Hold on.

I've got it now. I've got it. I've got it. Let's start again. Here we go. Hey, I'm James Donald Forbes. We can. You know, sometimes in life, it can seem like the things getting in our way are insurmountable, and we can't conquer them, and that we're just being crammed down into a fine powder by all the pressures. Maybe we're sick. Maybe people around us are sick maybe there's no money maybe you've got no time maybe everything is actually going really well but your brain chemistry is skew if and you just haven't felt happiness in years well in those times it's important to remember you're going to die one day and and um yeah how does that make you feel? Hmm?

No, that's not quite it. That's not quite it. We're going to get it, though. We're going to get there. We're going to get there. Hi, I'm James Donald Forbes McCann, and I'm trying to buy a catamaran. And if we just work... Here we go.

I believe that if you put your mind to something and you work hard, there's nothing you can't achieve. It's got to be facade. It can't just be lies. Maybe I'll just say a bunch of lies. Hey, everything is beautiful and sunshine and happiness. There's never any problems.

All the energy you need is inside of you. All you just have to do is ask and get your mind right. You know, why aren't you happy? What a disgusting person you are to not be happy. With all the blessings and gifts that have been showered upon you, let's really lift ourselves today into a new place of dignity and strength. Man, I don't know. Okay, now we're going to get... Hi, I'm James Donald Forbes McCann, and sometimes life can really get me down. There's an economic crisis on, and this is what people keep saying at least. I don't know if it's an economic crisis for me.

It's just petrol and food is really expensive at the moment. And I'm earning less money than ever before. And I've chosen just a terrible time to start freelancing. And I've got a little headache. And my kids are a handful. And holy dooly. You know, it's just a lot. It's just a lot.

It's so much. And then I did this show the other night. And boy, I. You know, it's just a lot. It's just a lot. It's so much. And then I did this show the other night. And boy, I wasn't happy with how I did that show. I thought I was unprofessional. So you just, like at some point, is it time to go, do I have attention deficit disorder? Like something is wrong. Something is wrong with my brain. Are there drugs that a medical professional could prescribe to help me you know and maybe even

it's worth experimenting with them because maybe there's no downside to having these drugs like i like antidepressants right people go on them and they have some real bad side effects i don't think i'm depressed though right i don't need antidepressants but what i need is something like speed ritalin they diagnosed me ADD in school and it was the 90s. My parents were like, you're not drugging my son. And I respect and support that decision. However, boy, oh boy, oh boy. We're getting to the point where my neurochemistry is starting to prevent me from doing things that I want to do in my life. Like I didn't, why did I cut my hair off? Why couldn't I just remember to bring the hair i had in a bag you know what i'm talking about maybe you feel this way as well um are you

on add medication adhd whatever we want to call it whatever you know whatever name they want to call it so people feel better about having it i don't care they could call it um bees in the head disease and i'd still be i'd still be okay trying to find a treatment for it. If anything, I'd feel better about finding a treatment for it then because that's how it feels. It feels like there are bees in my head. So if you have bees in your head and you've managed to find something... That's the one. Hold on. That's the one. Hold on. Hi, I'm James Donald Forbes McCann.

Do you have bees in your head? Sometimes it feels like I have bees in my head. Have you found a way to get the bees out of your head? They make some sweet honey, these bees. Ah, the bees in my head, they make a sweet honey. But the noise they make is very funny. Please help me with these bees. Are you on some sort of ADHD medication?

ADHD, ADHD. You have gone too far. Anyway. Yeah, I just wonder if there's something that I can do, some chemical that I can take that's going to straighten my life out and make everything become easier. If you're on that chemical or you're a doctor or you think, oh, James, actually everyone's life is like that and you're no more weird and dysfunctional than the average person. Hey, let me know because I got to do something. Something has to seriously change or we're all in a lot of trouble.

This is a new recording. You won't know, but that sound was me instigating a new recording. And the reason I'm recording now for this very, very long podcast is because I feel good. I feel so good. I thought it was time for us to have some affirmations. Oh, I don't think we've ever gone so long in a podcast without having affirmations before. Affirmations. Except that bonus interview episode where there were no affirmations. That was actually a very long time and there were no affirmations. But let me tell you about these affirmations that I'm having.

Affirmations. Oh, the affirmations that I'm having feel so good. I want to feel grateful. I affirm that I'm going to feel more grateful. I feel affirm when I think about how good it's going to feel to be grateful in the future. I love gratitude. I selfishly demand more humility that I may experience the splendors of gratitude. I'm grateful for so many things.

I'm grateful for my family. When I see my little children, I want to cry thinking about it. Excuse me. I love my little children and increasingly my large children. I love my little children play, I want to cry thinking about it. Excuse me. I love my little children. And increasingly my large children. I love my wife. I love my wonderful wife. I love her so much.

I love my mummy. I love my daddy. I love my little brother. I love Uncle's aunties. I love my son-in-law. I love all my deceased relations. I love all my relations who are yet to come into this visible plane. Oh, I'm so full of love for them.

And I'm so full of love for you, dear listener. Everybody who came out to this catamaran show, that was so nice of you to do that on Wednesday. On a cold, wet Wednesday to come out and see a man just throw a poop at a wall for two and a half hours. Can't believe I did that long on stage. I listened to some of it back and boy, I was, yeah, some foreplanning would have been good. But listen, oh, I just feel so good and so grateful.

I mean, if you've made it this far in the podcast, I mean, I assume at least one person has made it this far in the podcast because I've made it specifically for them and their commute. And if they haven't listened to it, what a great betrayal. I'm just so grateful.

I'm grateful for Panadol and ibuprofen. Oh, they are a sweet combo. I miss codeine, but I understand that it's a category above. And so for those entry-level painkillers that you can have basically guilt-free and without fear of addiction, although I do have them all the time. F'em, F'em, F'em, F'em. Although I do have them all the time.

I'm very grateful. I love travel. I love travelling because I get to come home and look at Adelaide with its beautiful pastel lights. I don't know if the light is different in Adelaide, but it feels different. It feels special. It feels pastel. I love travelling. I love Sydney.

I love being in Sydney. It feels so old. It feels so European. It feels so European. It does Eastern Sydney. So splendid. And I went to Bondi and I saw Bondi and the big waves coming in. And I had had a ear problem and they said I wasn't allowed in the water. And, you know, knowing me, I probably would have gone into that water and smashed my head on a big rock or something with the big waves.

But it was so beautiful. And Sam Campbell. Oh, Sam Campbell. He's so so lovely he's such a nice man so many nice people that i met over there that sydney crew is so chill baby i love it i love adelaide i love coming back home it's a beautiful place to live and i love melbourne where i'm going soon to do shows and i love bris Brisbane too with its medium density housing. I'm so glad I don't have to live in medium density housing but there is something about

medium density housing as you're going over hills and it's all these new medium density housing buildings and all these cranes in the sky. And you just think, oh, it's happening somewhere and that's okay by me.

I don't have to live there but if other people get to live here and enjoy a cosmopolitan lifestyle, if they're enjoying it, hey, good for them, good for you. Not for me, but good for you. I just love everything. I love the rosary.

I love praying the rosary. I'm going to pray the rosary today. I affirm that I'm going to pray the rosary today and I'm going to find a place for us to live. I have just sent off a letter saying we're not renewing the lease. We got an offer to have a very, very short stay at this house after our lease ended and then to be kicked out. And I was like, you know what? We just can't do it. We can't do it. I'm going to try and buy a house. I don't see how I could buy

a house by September when we get kicked out of here. I have no savings. I have some debt. I don't earn a lot of money, but I really think I might be able to buy a house. I affirm. Either way, I affirm that I'm going to move us in somewhere, somewhere nice, just a nice family home with a safe back garden so that the children can frolic and play and be happy and be surrounded by their family. Man, I feel so good. I just want you to know that I feel good, and I affirm that, and I love you, and I feel good, and I hope you feel good too. I'm listening to this podcast on the Bible,

this Father Mike's Bible in a year, and he's just going through the Old Testament, and man, some gruesome just going through the Old Testament. And man, some gruesome stuff happens in that Old Testament. So violent and unhappy. And I'm just so, I'm so pleased that my life is full of quiet things, quiet passions, a little sickness here, a little work there. There's no one coming through with a sword and butchering anybody. There's no political machinations where people have to die. I don't have to pull down a building on top of myself to kill the enemy.

You know, none of these things are happening. I'm not Samson. This is not the time of judges. There's no dismemberment. It's just love. We live in the age of love and peace and prosperity. And I am happy. It always feels like it's about to move into a dangerous time.

It's about to be a dangerous, weird, scary time. And I'll have to stop doing the catamaran podcast and just forage for food and find weapons and attack my neighbours and take their food. And there is pestilence. And whoa, a bit of women who are pregnant at this time. You know, and all of that stuff. But I feel really good, really positive.

I'm so grateful for the calm. Hit it. Yeah. Yeah. Skibbity bop, skibbity boo, skibbity boo bop, eh. And I affirm and I am grateful for all this wonderful new music I'm listening to. C-M-A-T. C-M-A-T. I'm listening to that and I'm listening to a lot of garage music as well.

Your mum loves garage. I love it. I love it. I love garage. Bass is kicking, drums is drumming. When your head did it there, I'm coming. Thank goodness for British people and Irish people and all their funny peculiarities. Stand-up comedy.

I'm not a sophisticated man. Don't be fooled by the silk scarf. There's not a symphony orchestra up here it's an old man playing the spoons and i don't have good explanations for anything that i believe i believe all these things and i used to believe things that were easy to believe because I used to go out to pubs and drink and argue with people and have really tight, cogent arguments I would win the argument

but I was very sad and now I have children I have a job I do this sometimes I don't have time to read or think or scrutinise I just listen to what may be either a conscience or a

schizophrenic break inside i don't know i don't know what it is but i just i just know some things to be true i was reading the advertiser and they're talking about this euthanasia bill that's coming into force have we all seen this apparently 83 percent of people agree with euthanasia um personally i think there are too many of them but uh but 83 percent of people agree with you i think i can understand why in a shallow materialistic view of the world you would believe in euthanasia no one wants to suffer you just go oh oh, just bloody... I remember my grandpa. My grandpa told me, bloody, when I get sick, you just

take me out into a paddock and put a bullet between the eyes. That's what he said when he was healthy. When he was actually sick, he spent like five years in hospital, complaining, but desperately clinging to life. So two grandfathers die of terminal illnesses.

Both probably weren't anti-euthanasia, but they didn't want it for them. They were hanging on. I'll tell you who did want euthanasia. People around them. This is an unsaid phenomenon on the euthanasia debate. People say, oh, you can bring in euthanasia safely because we have checks and safeguards so no one will feel pressured to die. Yeah, f***ing right.

What sort of la-la land families are you encountering on a day-to-day basis? First couple of times you go to the hospital and see a dying old man, it's just extremely sad. And you all bond together and hold hands and talk about the good times. Fifth time in the month you turn up, people are going, man, I've got...

I've got things to do. Can we kill him? You know, this is the tenetet and i understand all these beautiful arguments that andrew denton makes it's always andrew denton who's talking about euthanasia i don't trust people who aren't dying and are euthanasia advocates like what motivation possesses you to write a book it's not easy to write a book also no one who has been euthanized gets to contribute to the legislation not one we don't know what people who had been euthanized would have to say people people say, oh, James, you shouldn't have an opinion because you're not terminally ill.

Only terminally ill people should have a say on euthanasia legislation. Yeah, I mean, that's their say before they've been euthanized. But maybe after they've killed themselves, screaming from the fiery pits of hell, they wish something else might have happened. We don't know. screaming from the fiery pits of hell. They wish something else might have happened.

We don't know. And I think that's why everyone voting on the bill in the lower house should communicate through psychic. I get it now, what's the suffer? What's the point of suffering? I get it. But then people go, oh, what happens with a euthanasia pill is it's two pills in a box sent to you by the government. One lines the stomach so you don't throw up the second pill, which is full of poison. And just the inside, I go, that's f***ing gross. That's the only argument I have against euthanasia. That's f***ing gross. That's the only argument I have against euthanasia.

That's f***ing gross. I listen to the inside voice. It's not backed up by statistics. It's the aboriginal vicar of Christ saying, Eww! Well, I don't know how much of that I can use. I did write some jokes that I was going to attempt this evening. If you're looking for flexible workouts,

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Why are you such a bad Croatian, not telling me about the Croatia club? This guy's a Serb in disguise. Who is this man? I don't know him. What was his name? I don't remember his name. He wore gloves when he was putting my bags in the car.

That's my uncle Slavos. He said he didn't know you. Now, is Nikolaj Tesla a Serb or a Croat? I was under the belief that he was a Croatian genius, and then I found out his statue's actually in Belgrade, and he actually was more of a Serb, and that's when I started to focus more on his pigeon fiddling. Ah, the blood hate runs deep.

Amos Gil, great to have you on the podcast. Like a notch. And who else do we have here? Jason Pestel? Hello. And how are you? I'm very well, James. So, by the way, your light is on in your pocket on your phone.

Oh, my goodness. Thank you. You're a lifesaver, James. And who else do we have? We have Paul. Hey, James. And we've got Taylor. Hello, hello.

Well, we've got Sam McDonough, repeat guest. Hello, James. How are you doing? I'm actually doing really well. Would you like to be on the podcast? Why not? Can't say no. That's right.

All right. Let's get out of here. Who's that recording? Oh, James, I can't hear you. I'm really sorry. Turn it off. I am joined by Aidan Jones. Aidan Jones?

Aidan Jones is doing my bits. Return guest, Aidan Jones. And we were just at the gig together. And what a wonderful gig it was. All positive things to say about the gig and about audiences and about Adelaide in general. And shut up! I have to live here! And, uh... I, you know... and shut up I have to live here and

I you know it was work tonight wasn't it it was difficult I mean it was it's not work when you do a seven minute spot is it I would even find a seven minute spot in those circumstances difficult you know what it was

it's really not I mean when you do a short set it's just like you're in and you're out. You've got nothing to lose. But hello. Thank you. Thank you. Dignified work there indeed. You had to.

Well, we'll call it there. We'll call it there. And I've only brought this microphone out until we record your podcast, which will be happening now. Let's record that podcast and I'll tell people about my podcast. Now, quickly, do you want to plug your own stuff? Aidan Jones, Sitting Under a Tree is my podcast every Tuesday, laughing at my own jokes and stories every Tuesday forever.

Oh, golly, right into the bloody microphone. You're a pig. You're a true pig. One time, one time. Here is a thing James wrote on his phone during the gig. It is called Big Fat Ass. Kate Upton was the last hurrah for big tits. Oh, certainly big juicy tits haven't become unfashionable per se, but it's a booty

culture now. I remember an old episode of Project Runway where Michael Kors complained that one of the outfits made the model look as though she had a big fat ass. And I can assure you, said Michael Coors, no woman wants to have a big fat ass. Michael, you fool. You Neville Chamberlain of the big fat ass. In just a few short years, every woman will want to have a big fat ass. Anyway, that's the bit that I'm comfortable with the booty culture it's a real booty culture now all of my childhood it was a it was a thin culture

you just had to be very thin and perhaps you could have fake bosoms if you wanted if you're a woman and I think the thin thing and people go oh that's whiteness I don't know you see a lot of big fat white women like I think the thin thing, and people go, oh, that's whiteness. I don't know, you see a lot of big, fat white women. Like, I think if...

I don't think the average white woman looks like that. I think the thin thing is it was easier for fashion designers to have a more standardised beauty, because a skeleton pretty much looks like all the other skeletons that you can design for it. Whereas when you become fatter, you're fat in all sorts of different and interesting ways. One big fat ass is not necessarily going to dress the same

as another big fat ass, or is my understanding of the big fat ass. But also I think there's a certain level of egalitarianism to thinness being the beauty standard because not everybody can have a big fat ass, but every woman can starve herself, you know? And so it's to say, hey, if this is actually an achievable beauty standard,

it is extremely thin. It's not nice, you thin. It's not nice. You know, it's not actually even... I find I don't even think it's very attractive. It's certainly not physically, in an intimate sense, good. You want something to cuddle, something to hold. You don't want a wraith-like creature disappearing within your embrace. I'm just incapable of holding a tone.

Who is the audience for this podcast? Was that too dirty? Is it all too dirty? Was the euthanasia stuff unpleasant? I made it sound like that was from the gig that I had done. And then that was me talking after the gig. But it wasn't. That was a gig that I recorded and decided wasn I had done. And then that was me talking after the gig. But it wasn't. That was a gig that I recorded and decided wasn't good enough and too unusual.

So now you know. The gig I did last night was just emceeing. And there's no sense doing any of the emceeing work on the podcast because it's... Well, I mean, you don't want to hear me going, Hello, what's your name? What do you do? It's great in the room. It's spontaneous. But a recording of it, I mean, you don't want to hear me going, hello, what's your name? What do you do? It's great in the room. It's spontaneous, but a recording of it. I mean, no one brings that out. No one has their specialty crowd work.

Well, a couple of people have in a high art concept done whole specials of crowd work, but I'm not going to do that because my crowd work's no good. Now, listen, it's probably time. That's enough preamble. Probably time for us to declare this meeting open because this is as well as a high concept length episode. It's probably time, that's enough preamble, probably time for us to declare this meeting open. Because this is, as well as a high concept length episode, it is additionally a real episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran plan.

So, item of business number one is, I have had an idea to get more patrons and more listeners. So as far as I see it, the podcast audience is divided into two kinds. There is the broader listenership, you listening to this, that's maybe 90% of you, and then there's some inner sanctum of Patreon subscribers. And by the way, if you want to subscribe to the Patreon, you can. There'll be a link somewhere. It's the James donald force we can catamaran plan patreon and you get a special podcast every week and then special giveaways and special special special anyway so some people are in that and i think i've almost got 30 people there and then we've got about 300 listeners a week. So I think it's about 10%.

Now, okay, so that 270 people who listen but aren't part of that 30, I basically don't get any money out of you listening unless you want to come to a live show or buy a book or something because there aren't enough of you yet for me to get advertising money and I would so love to be successful enough to have the advertising money and i do believe that at some point we will be successful enough to have the advertising money but believe you me we're not there yet it is a way off i think it you know maybe by the end of the year. If we got there by the end of the year, I would actually be very, very pleased. So here was my thought. Okay. Other podcasts have patrons,

and they've got more patrons than me. And I think someone who is already a patron is more likely to become a patron of somebody else. And you can sort of see this on Patreon. Some people are signing up to Patreon to become a member of my podcast. but I think overwhelmingly it's people who already have a Patreon, and they go, ah, yes, this is a system that I understand. Let's get into it. You see? Like, there's, I think, the average number of people that people patron is probably greater than one.

So, my thought was, how do I get the clout to get other people's Patreon audience members? Because those are the ones who are really coughing up the scratch to pay for me to have my boat. And I had this realization. It is actually very hard

to make the Patreon content, right? Because you make the public content and that's sort of your growth content and you go you get a real dopamine hit making that because you go who knows if this is going to be massively successful maybe it will be maybe this will go far and wide it's like putting a dollar in the pokey machine like i right now i'm recording this and i whoo there's a bit of excitement and go, will this be the episode that breaks wide open and makes me a star and hits the charts? You don't know. But the Patreon episode is never going to do that because it is only going out to people who have opted in. There is a, there's a high watermark on how good it can be. In fact, you

feel the other way when making the Patreon content. You feel a bit scared, like, well, if I make something bad, are they going to leave me? It's the opposite. You fear relegation when making the Patreon content, but when making the podcast content, full of hope. Now, I love making my Patreon content over and above the fear that people will leave me. Because I love my patrons, and I love going towards a boat and I love the journey we're on together, but I suspect that other people with podcasts and big Patreon audiences

who don't have as intimate and special a mug-making relationship with their patrons probably don't like making their Patreon content at all. So previously what I had tried to do to get clout and get out to more audience members was to get on other people's podcasts, their public podcasts. And this I see now, that's hard for them. They enjoy making that podcast. They don't want to have to organize me. They don't know if I'm going to be funny, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But what I should be doing is making their Patreon

content for them. Excuse me, there was a slight burp, not an Aiden Jones style burp, but a very slight burp indeed. I should make their Patreon content for them, Right? So, Nick Cody and Luke Heggie of Midflight Brawl. That's going to happen at some point. I'll get on that podcast. But they have to make Patreon content every week. So my thought was, what if I record a Patreon episode for their Patreon? And I don't release it out on my channels. I just record an audio file called, you know, bonus special episode, and then they have

additional value that they can give to their listeners. And not just any of their listeners, it's narrow cast to only the most high value listeners. You're going out at that point to 500 people who don't know about my podcast, prospectively, certainly haven't signed up to it. You're basically giving them hot content. Like, who loses? I get them to listen to me. They get to give special value to their Patreons and they can go, yeah, you don't have to listen to this,

but if you want it, here's an exclusive thing that someone made for you. And then they get exposed to me and I get to steal them away. It's not even, it's not, again, as we've outlined, it's's an exclusive thing that someone made for you and then they get exposed to me and i get to steal them away it's not even it's not again as we've outlined it's not mutually exclusive they don't have to leave their patreon to come over to mine they can pay for both i mean i of course pay for none because i am very poor and things aren't going well oh things are going so badly anyway but things are going great. I know that's just the opposite of what I said. I'm not substantiating either of them, but that's sort of how life is.

I've got to start selling some of my books. My only asset is that I have a household of thousands of books and I think I'm going to start. I'm at least going to start seeing which ones I don't want and then checking the value of those books and seeing if I can drum up a little bit of money for that. Anyway, listen, I'm thinking of moving this family into a caravan I've got to check with my mum if she's okay with me moving my family into a caravan outside of her house because we can't live here anymore and I don't know what to do but here's my thought yes I just spontaneously and I probably don't even ask right because if you ask people might go ah James if you ask, people might go, ah, James. If I say, hey, Midflight Brawl boys. Hey, Luke and Lewis boys.

Hey, ladies of the big Natural Talents podcast. Hey, whoever you are. Can I record a special Patreon episode for your people? I think they would more than likely go, um, who are, what are you saying? This is very weird. No. Or they wouldn't say anything. They just wouldn't get back to me.

But if I put all the effort in and I make a 15, 20 minute Patreon episode for them and I send it to them and I go, hey, I've made this. You can put it out to your followers if you like. I think that's going to be a higher chance of success. There are more sunk costs into it, right?

Because sending an email asking to do it, very, very low stakes. Making the whole thing, producing it up and doing it nice, very, very time intensive. And as mentioned, we don't have a lot of time at the moment. But I think at that point, maybe point maybe you know chance that they'll listen to it the first couple of seconds 70 chance that they'll accept it after that 50 50 so that's like a 35 chance so if i do three of them i'm guaranteed to get one i don't know about statistics but that feels right to me.

And I think then there's a little extra because 33 is a third and 35 is what I'm talking about. So that's two, two, two. That's six. There's a 6% chance that I get all of them. I don't know how it works. Anyhoo, I hope, by the way, that this podcast episode has been agreeable to the commuter. Scott, I hope this has been agreeable to you on your commute.

I hope it's also been agreeable to other people on their commute. No matter where you are listening to this podcast, and we've got so many places in the world listening, but actually we have enough time to fill up the podcast that I could go through and thank everybody who's listening to the podcast right around the world. Let's open up the analytics. Let's click the login button.

Let's wait for it to load. It's still loading now. I continue to wait. Yes. Click the log in button with my autofilled passwords. Clickety-clack. Loading again. Man, I do this all the time.

And all this loading must take up a big chunk of my day. Maybe that's the reason I'm suffering. It's because I spend too much time on the analytics. But it's worth it spending that much time on the analytics, ladies and gentlemen, so that I can bid you hello in... Let's just go the last 30 days. Well, Australia, first of all. Adelaide. Hello, Adelaide. Brisbane. Oh, we've had a lot of listens in Brisbane. That's the second city. Third city is Sydney. Hello, Sydneysiders. Fourth city, Melbourne, which is a little worrying because I've got a show coming up in Melbourne, tickets on sale now.

And then so many other cities. Perth, Canberra. We had 63 listens in Canberra. No, I take it back. That was Perth. We've had 15 listens in Canberra. And I I take it back. That was Perth. We've had 15 Listens in Canberra. And I have to think some of that is from the posters that we put up in Canberra. So thank you very much for that.

And have any of the other posters been scanned? Well, we've got some in Canberra. It doesn't look like the other ones are. Pimpama. We've had someone in Pimpama. So that's good, isn't it? Where's Pimpama? other ones are. Pimpama. We've had someone in Pimpama. So that's good, isn't it? Where's Pimpama? Have I been to Pimpama?

Pimpama. I don't. Do I know Pimpama? Oh, it's just off the Gold Coast. Hello, Pimpama. But then let's get through to the other countries. The United States. United States.

Alexandria. Cambridge. North Charleston. I have. Well, I know Cambridge, but I hope someone from South Charleston starts to listen as well. We've had Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, somewhere called Quincy. Oh, we have a listener in the Bronx.

I wonder if that's Jenny. And Wentzville. Someone in Wentzville. Where's Wentzville? The listener in Wentensville. Where's Wensville? The listener in Wensville. It's in St. Louis. I'm familiar with your football team. Or is it a baseball team?

We've had 15. Wow. Goodness me, the show's actually really taking off in South Africa. Man. All right. I mean, obviously Zimbabwe is still hanging in there. I assume that's all you act, and I'm about to send you an Instagram message

to find out when we can do this interview. But Johannesburg has some listens. All right. This Africa tour is really taking off. Have we had anyone else in Africa? Hmm. Nigeria. We had a Nigeria listener.

Oh, it's all coming together. I mean, Nigeria is obviously much further away within Africa, Nigeria! We had a Nigeria listener. Oh, it's all coming together. I mean, Nigeria is obviously much further away within Africa. But, man, I'd go to Nigeria. I believe they speak English in Nigeria. I'd love to come to Nigeria and Zimbabwe and South Africa. And we've had listeners in Ireland. Top of the afternoon at this point to Ireland.

Dublin, all ten listeners. That's so nice when you click on a place and it's all centralised in one zone. You know, because it's just like, bang, I can do Dublin. I don't have to do an additional tour to Cork. Although if we do have Cork listeners, it would be only too pleasing for me to go there. And Switzerland, oh, many listeners in Switzerland. Zurich, Opfacon, Lausanne. I'd like to know how many of you are Anaphrie? How many of you are those people that I recorded a birthday message for? And how many of you have been using the disabled toilets at the university? Germany,

Auf Wiedersehen. Is that hello? Goodbye. Munich goodbye Munich ah the tragedies of Munich so many tragedies associated with so many places you know Belgium oh

things that happened in the Congo no Congolese listeners yet but we'd love some listeners from the Congo

as well and this is just in the past what 30 days we're blowing up baby where it's happening

wait is that a Papua New Guinean listener? No, it's Indonesian listeners. That's still cool. Who else have we got? Now, in the United Kingdom, the United Kingdom has become one of the bigger supporters of the pod. It's country number three after the United States and Australia. So to my fans in London, after the United States and Australia. So, to my fans in London, Barking, Bromley, Bury, Edinburgh, Johnston, Leeds, Luton, Luton, it feels like being in the UK,

it's more likely to be Luton, isn't it? Let's have a look here. Luttontown FC, oh my goodness, your football club has the most remarkable shield. That's wonderful. The shield has two flowers on it, a bale of wheat, a bee, honey. And the thing that really drew my attention is it has a boater hat. It has a cute little boater hat. Latin. Ah, you're having your sixth in the Champions League. Does that mean you're saved from relegation? You're the Hatters. Hold on.

I didn't know there was a football club called the Hatters. And you all wear little hats. Oh, well, that does please me immensely. Hey, and you've had a really good last few years. Luton Town? Hold on. Hold on. First of all, where is this? Oh, I thought

I was trying to drag out the clock, but now time is really starting to run down before the end of the podcast. All right, so you're in, I guess that's the south, I don't think that's the Midlands, Bedfordshire. And how do I say it? Pronouncer. Here we go Say that again Luton Town And let's say that slowly Luton Town Luton Town

I love it Hey you can also get the American pronunciation Luton Town Luton Town Don't go over to Luton Town Not a crime there People Luton Lootin' Town. Lootin' Town. Don't go over to Lootin' Town. Not a crime there. People lootin'. Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everybody who's listened.

Thank you to everybody who is listening. And at the end now of the pod, I've timed this exactly. We have a song. It's a song that I made on my phone, and it's a song that I'd like to share with you. I'm shocked that we got through so much of the podcast without me playing even more songs, but I was worried that if I played a song in the middle, that would turn people off and they wouldn't want to listen anymore.

So instead, here is a song. Catamaran Ho. And now, a song from James Donald Forbes McCann. Catamaran Ho. This is a song conveying James Donald Forbes McCann's feelings about space women and space men only. Maybe one day he will produce a song that also includes his feelings about the space non-binary. But it is not this day. Thank you. Thank you. and also space woman this episode is brought to you by Google Pixel. I'm Jessi Cruikshank. I host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend.

I also have three kids. I need help making every day easier. So I switched to Google Pixel. It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant. Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera. I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9.

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