The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - S2 Ep15: end of the tour

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

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Start your free trial today. Yes. Hello. and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes of Can Catamaran Plan. I'm in San Francisco. The tour's almost over. I'll be heading home soon. It's been a big long tour. I'm watching these Harvard commencement speeches. They're popping up on my reels. They're not all from Harvard. Just Conan's was from Harvard. And I think Ronnie Chang's was at Harvard as well. I just saw one from a lesser college, I do believe. University. And it was a guy giving his like three rules to having great taste.

and one of them was create more than you consume, which I found to be disgusting. He was saying you've got to create. That's heat ofilip taste as you make things. It's not about just being passive and taking things in, consuming. Using the word consume for being an audience for art is fairly gross, I think. I mean, you know, porno and food. One can maybe consume those things, but do you consume Shakespeare?

Do you consume Thackeray? Do you consume war? W-A-U-G-H. You know what I'm saying? Maybe. Oh, one might consume Woodhouse. Von a good nut, want a good, von a good, von a good-nut. Maybe does one consume him?

It just seemed trivial and silly to me. And try it. Silly to say that you should... I don't know why that's stuck in my craw. That's what I was watching just before I started the podcast. And it's stuck right up in the craw. That... Because I've seen this argument before.

I've seen people having this argument about... If you're a writer, do you need to read? And I'm rather strongly of the position that... I don't think that could hurt. I've, I mean, I suppose I exist within the milieu of the genre is stand-up comedy. And I've seen people who are not across stand-up comedy and don't think about things like lineage and don't watch a lot of it or haven't seen a lot of it, haven't thought about it. And I have more on, you know, more on the creating and consuming side of the ledger. And terrible to the last.

Dreadful all the way down. Basically, basically, awful. Can't think of a counter-example. Would love to have one. And I just mean bad in terms of not having taste. I mean, people don't like, people don't want to see it. You know, if you're interested in the form, I think you'd get enough joy. out of people doing it well,

but you gravitate to that. I can't imagine, you know, writing music is the most important thing to me. I have never listened to The Beatles. Why would I? Why would I want that? It's all about putting out rather than taking in. It's a conversation.

It's back and forth. Can't hurt to do both. Obviously, there are some people who have nothing but intake. and no output, but that's also fine. Creativity belongs to God alone. And the rest of us are just pretending, refashioning, repurposing, stealing. Hey, it's good to be here.

The tour's almost over. Thank goodness I'll get to. It's been like six weeks. I'm sorry, the podcast has been, yes, there's been some stopgaps. And even this one is audio only. We have here an audio only podcast. again.

But there will be visuals soon. I have finished. I'll tell you this. I've been creating without consuming on stage. I've just, I've got no idea what's going on in the world. Or really in my own body or mind. Do you know what I mean?

I'm just, it's been on it. It's been like two shows a night and travel in the morning. Is what we've done sort of, more or less, with a couple breaks and sometimes one show, sometimes two days. But for long stretches, it was travel in the morning and two shows at night. And I really appreciate everybody who came out and saw me at various stages of being together. I think we got it together in Denver for at least the last shot. Thank goodness we shot four shows.

Now, look, we persevere. We move on. I just, I haven't been reading very much. much. Lincoln and the Bardot seems like such a long time ago. I'm reading W.E.B. Du Bois. I'm reading Du Bois. Black communist. Long-lived black communist. Black communists who lived for a long time. Fella had some trouble with the book of my man, Booker T. Washington. And I'm reading his book that I got from a San Francisco bookstore on... What do they call it? Rick T. reconstruction. He didn't even know what it was called. Yeah, it's not my country. And I'm,

I'm picking up as quick as I can and there's not a lot of, how would I know about it? Anyway, I'm enjoying, he's a great pro stylist, is WB de Bois, de Bois, de Bois, and I'm enjoying reading him and finding out. I think people during and after, during and after reconstruction, white historians. This is the period after the Civil War for the Australian listeners, when the South had to be reconstituted in light of their

incredible defeat at the hands of the Norlander, the corporate backers, the Yankee. They were figuring out how to move forward as a country. And suddenly you had black people in government and a change of laws for black people and

yeah I think at first people said I wasn't very good and WB Duboy

he wrote this I think a revision the term revisionist the term the term revisionist

history has other connotations now specifically Holocaust I do believe anyway

but that's not the kind of revisionist history I don't believe that W.E.B. Duboy was writing. Hello, welcome to this episode of the James Donald,

Force McCamac, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I'm enjoying it. I've gone onto Wikipedia and I read an argument. I read about an argument, I didn't read the argument. I read about an argument between, and I don't know about any of this. I'm just finding out. I'm doing the research. I'm hashtag educating myself. But W.E.B. Duboy, arguing with Booker, Washington. And as best I can tell, the argument seems to be. you know had a better had a better the lot of black people as as a people what can be done for black people

and it's you know do we go for political power and sweeping away the injustices and we will flourish in a just and fair society or do we strengthen and enriching in ourselves as a people and our I'm talking there about the community. But, you know, if one is part of a people, do you, you, you know, rich out and get more friendships for that people? Do you get more skills? Is it bad, is it bottom up or top down? Is the way forward, bottom up or top down?

Is it us all coming together having bonds and lifting ourselves up? Or is it going to the top and clearing the impediments out of the way? And I'm sure, I'm sure the answer is both. But it's, um, yeah, look, I'm having a good time reading all about it. I mean, my natural inclination is to be on the side in that dispute of a Booker T. Washington, not because of anything he's necessarily said, but because of the wrestler, who has a similar name. Ah. Anyway, how are you?

I hope you're all good. Can I tell you what happened on the tour? I'll give you a quick breakdown because it's over now. And I have a list of all the places that I've been to in the last six weeks. So I'll go forward or do I go back? I guess I go back to the start. Shimmery chime sound effect. Started out in Austin.

Which I think was a mistake. For my nerves. It worked out for the show. But I came with 20 minutes and a whole lot of piffle. And I was headlining that weekend. And I think I got through all the show. shows, but the stress. By the end of that week, I could not look at the audience in the eye. Not because I was ashamed just because I felt like to write a thing and to do a thing.

You know what I mean? Like, yeah, maybe I don't. Maybe I don't. When it's new material, you've got to work so hard. You're paying so much attention to it. By the end of the tour, sometimes I'd black out for 30 to 40 minutes at a time and come to and go, I'm at that part of the show. They all seem to be laughing. I guess nothing crazy has happened. but at the start every word every pause every there's a lot of thinking going on to make sure it it comes together and the issue with doing that i mean austin's a great place to build material it's just a lot of people that i love and respect are there and i didn't want to be crappy in front of them

so i you know maybe that was a trial by fire thing to try and be good there without as many hours on the material as i wanted to have had at that point worked out in the end. We'll find out. We've recorded the special and now we have to try and sell it to somebody. And if nobody wants to buy it, wow, there's only one game in town. But if they don't want to buy it, then I'm very happy to put it on YouTube and just share it with everybody. All right, so Austin, flew to Albuquerque with CJ and Fuzzy. I'm hoping it's at that point in the journey.

Albuquerque, very Mexican, stayed out of the downtown. Everybody said, don't go to the downtown. I said, okay, they said, the term war zone was used. Then we did the drive. It was a beautiful drive to Phoenix. Not beautiful in Phoenix. The people of Phoenix, of course, very beautiful. But the state of Arizona is incredible.

And then you get to Phoenix and you go, oh, all right. Why are we doing it here? Why is the big city here? Why wouldn't the big city be in a nicer place over there? Up there in the mountains with the hills and the trees? But it was in Phoenix that I felt the show came together, and I'll always be grateful to the people of Phoenix for that. Phoenix is where I went.

Okay, there's a beginning, there's a middle, there we are. San Diego, beautiful San Diego, the great starter city of America. If you start out in San Diego, I think that's as good a start as you can get for show business in America because you have a, you know, is comforting, it's pleasant, and you've got Los Angeles right there. It's just right there. So if you ever have a problem, you just head on back home for the weekend. It's not a long drive. It's not a long train.

Whereas, you know, if you come out of Kansas or something, you go all the way back to Kansas to licky wounds. But I can see that San Diego, there's something. about it. I really enjoyed my time in San Diego. Like Fuzzy was with us. He was the opener there, and he'd never seen the ocean before. And we're going to take him to La Jolla, which I only went to because I'd heard comedian and podcaster Tim Dillon speak about La Jolla in such affectionate terms. So we went to La Jolla. Then it was Los Angeles. That was like the longest time in one place, that I got to spend. My friend Ruby was there, and we got to go for walks,

and we got to be in the comedy festival. Netflix is a joke comedy festival. Go to the roast of Kevin Hart. I got for a drunk. I was sitting with the celebrities. I got the times wrong, and so I was wearing all the wrong things, and I was not on camera very often.

They did not want to put me on camera because I wasn't wearing a beautiful suit. Fair enough, too. Could have taken my freaking hat off. What else happening? I got to open for the great Shane Gillis at the Hollywood Bowl. Golly, it was a big week, but it's all the blur to me now. I got to see Kanye West across a room.

That was nice. I got to do shows at the improv. Sam Campbell opened. That was huge for me. I got to do a maid in Manhattan watch along with Den Soda, Tim Dillon, and Joe the Rosa. was a big week. And from there on, that was the last, like, sort of restful time. That was pretty brutal from there.

I'm looking at it now. That's nuts, baby. Seattle. And then the memories stop. Here's the thing I've got to say. So first thing is things sold out, and that's great. And we've got very good tour numbers in all of these places, and we'll get to play bigger rooms. And, you know, if it's the same.

room then for more times in the future. But from about Seattle on, I have almost no memories of the various places I was at because I would fly there or drive there, do the show, light on the floor backstage, do another show, go back to a hotel room, get up the next morning and do it all again. So Seattle, I just remember that the sound system had big problems and that a man collapsed and that everyone assured me was okay. Everyone, a man fell down near his head on a table. And everyone was like, no, he's all right. And they scored, no, he's fine.

Don't worry about it. One of the worst American accents you'll hear at it, Jimmy. Anyway, so that was fairly upsetting that he had collapsed, but people told me he was fine. Then it was down to Portland. I got to go to Cop's bookstore. My friend Patrick was with me at that time. And CJ had rejoined.

Sweet, CJ! And we drove Seattle to Portland. I say we drove, Patrick drove. Then we flew CJ and I to Chicago where we did the improv, which is vast in the audience, it's very far away from you. I remember by that point I was worried I was getting sick,

so I was having tea. Then we drove to Michigan, I think, and Flint. No, no, Detroit, excuse me. I don't know why I put Michigan on the the thing instead of Detroit, but we went to Detroit. And Detroit's beautiful. There's one night where C.J. and I walked around the downtown of Detroit.

And so many bad things are said about Detroit, and it's downtown, but I must say, hats off to Detroit, a wonderful place. Did I end up giving more of my money to street persons who asked for it than I wanted to? Yeah, because I was scared. There was gang. but mostly had a good time in beautiful I wish that hadn't happened so that I could say oh Detroit nothing wrong with that

no there's still a little but overall a very good time that it was up to Toronto and I must say the people of Toronto got kind of a weird show if you're a Toronto ease listener if you're a Toronto Stanion you got kind of a weird show because I find in the Commonwealth countries

The audiences don't mind it if you just talk to. If you put the act to one side for a moment and you just have a chit-chat with them. And so Toronto was a little Lucia Goosea than the show had been elsewhere. And that's where Eve joined the tour and also Alistaird Trimley-Birtchel. Man, it feels like both yesterday and so long ago,

but that was actually the middle of the tour. Good Lord, we've been on the road for too long. So it was Toronto. Went to the art gallery. It was fine. it's good I really enjoyed talking to people of Toronto

it's just Melbourne then it was on to New York I got to see my friend Amos Gill all too briefly we did two shows in New York and he got to open and I met Vittorio

Angelooney for the first time that was nice then we took the train excuse me hiccup hiccup even I took the train to Boston

we met Mike G I yes Mike G was it gosh it's been a lot of openers I'm sure I'm sure I'm forgetting some of them as well. As Boston, and I always find that Boston audiences are so positive after the show.

There are a little bit more work during the show, but after the show, oh, fuck, man. Can't do your voices, I'm sorry. Then it was to Stubanville, and I had a wonderful time in Stubinville. And indeed, the Comedy Club in Pittsburgh, the greater Stubinville area, I got to see my friend, Mark, Joe Esch got to open for me, that was a real treasure, real treat. great times in Stubenville that I can sort of remember.

They were doing a conference at the time. I just happened to line up with the, with the New Pauldy Conference and I went to go and watch a lecture one morning about Aristotelian

hierarchies versus Christian, you know, pushing down versus lifting up. But it was all like, I think I understood as much as I was supposed to, but it did use all brain power I had being quite early in the,

morning from the great Andrew Willard Jones. So after that, I skipped the rest of it, and I went to bed, and we did the shows. And then it was, I mean, my goodness, Orlando, I had, we got to Orlando a day early. I'd hoped to go to Disney World, but I had no life left in me. So we just did the shows in Orlando. Thank you, Orlando. And that was me and Victoria Angelone. I got a Jeep.

I rented a Jeep. I paid a little extra money and I rented a Jeep. And it was so fun for 15 minutes. And very quickly you go, oh, why is it so fucking hard to drive this thing in a straight line? We drove down to Naples. Man, I saw a lot of Florida and I didn't. I don't think I saw Good Florida. I think I saw the Bad Florida.

I know there's Good Florida out there. I'd like to come back and experience Good Florida. But the Florida I saw was a lot of rain. And one, I went out to the Jeep. and there were these tiny snails everywhere on the ground tiny baby stee tibit baby snails like I've never seen before in my life and I was so I had to pull the car out of the car park and I knew I'd be hitting some of the they weren't snails it's funny they've become snails in my memory there were frogs the tiniest frogs but I felt about them the way one does about snails

but they were frogs isn't that odd and that odd I avoided stepping on them with Then I had to drive out. There were so many of them all over the asphalt. And I just knew that some of them would be getting God. And it was heartbreaking. On to Tampa. In Naples, I had maybe the worst audience interaction I remember having where a man was a very floridarian man. But he thought I was progressing.

I don't know how he'd got that from the material. I had just finished wrapping up a Vietnamese accent, and he thought I was a big left winger. And maybe I guess I've never been accused of that before. That I could... No, a couple times, actually. Every now and again, people in America have a certain... I wouldn't even say political persuasion, but...

Well, I don't know. I don't know a nice way to put it. men with a sort of inclination for real dickhead type operators. Dickhead is what we'd call him. He's a fucking dickhead. Anyway, dickhead sometimes just hear the way I speak and dress and look at my hair and my accent and they go, he's a progressive and I'm happy for people to think that.

Maybe I don't even know what I am. Oh, wouldn't mind if people accused me of being sent a lift. Seems like an easier way to get through life. But anyway, I had to kick a guy out. I don't like kicking a guy out, but I had to kick a guy out. I had to kick a guy. I said, get him out of here. Take his coat.

And then we drove up to Tampa. And I'm trying to remember Tampa. I'm trying to remember the room in Tampa. I did two shows in Tampa. Eve was there. Victoria Angelou. Oh, he was there in Tampa.

Do I remember it? This is the first one where I'm losing it. This is honest to goodness, the first one. I'll remember in a second. Excuse me. It's been a lot of shows. I remembered every moment of every show up to. What's throwing me is that there were two shows in Tampa.

Two shows in Tampa. Okay, I drove up with Victoria Angeloni. We actually, we were so upset in Naples that we drove up the night after. We didn't stay at the hotel. We got an extra night at the new hotel. Ah yes. Ah yes, Tampa! Oh, wonderful room in Tampa.

Tampa, I remember you well. Many wonderful, famous people have been to that Tampa room, an older room, a good room. The pictures on the walls. I loved Tampa. I loved Tampa. Tampa was good. By that point, though, I must say I was getting pretty scared because that was the last show

before the comedy special filming. Perhaps that's why I lost it ever so briefly in my mind. Yes, Tampa, yes. Where I had been before to St. Petersburg, that can't be what it's called. The Gay Bair. For Coastal Collective, but this time I got booked somewhere else. I'm sorry, Coastal Collective. That wasn't an indictment.

It's just who booked me. And I said, called Sidesplitters. I had a wonderful time there, wonderful time, wonderful people, wonderful time. And the big experience was the Comedy Special in Denver. This must be dull as dishwater for people. Comic-Con was on at the time in Denver, and I would see them all, you know. I'd think, gosh, man, you've worked so hard on your costume.

Let's get you a little bit of fake tan. So that that's not the most distracting thing going on here is your translucent skin. I wanted to go and meet with Paulie Shore. Paulie Shore got in touch with me, but I was filming this special at night, and I thought, I'll get up and go and see Paulie Shore. the Comic-Con, but I could, I was just flat as attack. Apologies to Pauley, sure. I'm sure he's a very enthusiastic listener. The Denver Comedy Works, some two at four in the downtown, that's where I record the special.

And then the sort of lap of honor gig started, the last one in Denver, and then two in Cobbs in San Francisco that we've now done. And, yes, I know if that's a lot or not a lot. no that's a lot it's too many but in my agent's defense I must say I told him to do it

and he said James you're going to hate me I said I'm not going to hate you please he said James you're going to become an anti-Semite I said no he didn't say that but it's the sort of thing that people do where they ask to be

you know overcommitted and then they start looking for excuses as to why they're unhappy I begged so that I begged so that I could get back to my family with as much money as possible to have it done like that. And I felt like I got all the required support that I needed. And now I begin the journey home.

I'm not just going to head straight home. I'm going to take a couple days getting home in various islands and time zones along the way because I have been out on the road and I'm in such a bad mood. Eve, Ellen Bogum was my opener for back half of the tour. And look, in general, we've been good to one another. But also, I can hear the way I'm talking to her and everybody else.

And I'm a bit rude and snappy. And I think it would be a mistake after so long away to go straight home and just be... So I'll take, like, I think he's going to take me. Three extra time. I've got a little, I've got a weekend holiday to, so that I don't go home and rip everyone's head off. And this was actually, I think at the, I think this was at the bequest. Is bequest even the word?

That's what my wife asked me to do. She said, take a couple days. You know, time zone. Have it my tie by the pool. relax a little bit honey don't come home and make our lives bad because you've been working very hard and we're very proud of you and you're going to be a monster when you walk through the door it's true it's true unless my family so much i want to go back to them so badly i know from doing this a number of times that the goodwill and good feeling will last for as much as an hour as much as an hour

An hour would be a very, very good outcome. And then the grumpery starts. I start, one starts being grumpy. A big old, you know what I'm saying? A big Mr. Grumpy. Ah, I lose my tolerance for, for, if you're in and around young kids, after a couple days, you get used to it and it's fine. And it doesn't bug you.

But it's just natural that if you're not. attuned to screaming, shrieking and fast movement, well, you get pretty upset with it. I tell you, my body's falling apart. I'm feeling aches and pains, and people keep telling me that it's because I've been stressed and I've been working hard and I haven't been living well and I've been on the road. But I have been living all right. I've been exercising a fair amount.

I've been getting my effing steps in. I've been different beds every night. But it's, yes, I will be going and seeing, anyway. We'll get the body. We'll get the potty. Don't worry about Jimmy. Don't worry about Jimmy. We'll be getting that all under control.

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That's one more time. That's M-D-W-T-R.com. After your purchase, they'll ask how you found them. show your support and let them know that we sent you oh eves here hey eve hi james we watched some of uncut jams last night you made a stop because you thought julia fox was too sexy that was my whole reason i did not make a stop i said i wasn't enjoying it and then you said get this fucking chew off the fucking scream it was terrible the way you spoke i'd be happy to turn it off if you don't like it and i should have known then that it was because you were going to weaponize it

against me. I've been on the road with Eve for a while. I think it's been a few years now. Well, Eve's doing very well and he was impressing all sorts of people. Thank you. I can't argue. San Francisco's quite nice. I just got off of my

father before you got back and before I called Ruby. I was on the phone with Ruby just now. And I told him this has to be the most beautiful American city. City. You know, I think the stabbings of Naulands

complicates it. I think New Orleans is unbelievably beautiful. You're going there to listen though, aren't you? You're going to what? New Orleans is beautiful. And also, you know, the hills in L.A.

are crazy. I wouldn't say that's the city. Right. Because you're at downtowns, downtown to downtown? I think as you drive around San Francisco, you go, wow, wow, wow.

Wow. Wow. Like again and again. And that just, it's like. And then occasionally go, wow. I haven't really seen many of those. Oh, I've had a couple.

Right. Wow. Yeah, I haven't, I've heard that there's a few streets downtown that you go, oh my God. But everything I've seen so far, like I just saw, I was at the Palace of Fine Arts, do you want to see a picture? Absolutely. And the listener, you may Google it at the same moment.

The Palace of Fine Arts. But it is stunning. Here we go. Yeah, it's a very beau, bow arts type place. I mean, they're a beautiful place. It's just like, there's a little park. Yeah, beautiful. It's incredible.

But I will say, then I saw some kids hacky-sacking who was slightly too old to hacky-sack. And you were like, burn it. Burn this place. Scumbos. Scumboes. I mean, yeah, like, I think, I was thinking about it because obviously there's a real hippie culture, really left-wing culture to California generally. And I think it comes with having such a beautiful environment that you want to protect it,

which breeds a lot of hippiness. I don't know. I don't know. When I'm in the Southland, when I'm into Southland, when I'm in the Southland, Dixie. Digdown and Dixie. Come about Louisiana? You're talking about Texas? I'm talking about, oh, Dixie.

I'm talking about Malabama. Malabama? Malabama. I was in Malabama. I'm talking about Mississippi and Malabama. I'm talking about even as far north as Missouri and Arkansas. Right. I'm talking about Virginia.

Yeah. West Virginia. Then what? What's the feeling? Oh, it's totally I want to preserve and protect, but it's, um... Virginia is pretty left, I think. Yeah. Not West Virginia.

Not, um, well, how, how that's flipped. How, how indeed that is flipped. Well, I think it wasn't, I mean, I said... I think there were some transplants into the northern parts of Virginia. I think that, yeah. So there's Washington people. It's a lot of people who work for the. government who and the government workers tend to be very left. I mean, obviously not anymore.

I would just question natural beauty to, um, progressivism. Well, what I said to my dad today, I was like, the danger of a place like this is it's so beautiful that you just, it's hard to be ambitious because you go, what do I care? And yet they are pretty fucking. All the ambitious people come here. Well, I think they come here. The tech people have come here to co-opt it. Yeah. But I think it's like. And even then they were pretty ambitious for what you could do with being gay.

I mean, you know, they were taking being gay to a whole other level. Yeah. Amos, Amos has thought about it because I do like this, I do like the thought of being gay. What does the,

yes, of course, what does the weather have to do with? I think about this too. Macro. So Amos's thing is like, the weather doesn't change. So there's not enough restraint. Yes.

On like, like winter teaches you something about human nature. There's a time, there's a place. you can't beat these. Dang. But here it's just like, it's wonderful all day,

every day. And you go, you turn it, it turns you into, um, there's a spoiling. There's a spoiling that happens. But also likewise,

places that are always cold, you're not getting, I mean, so I think the change, you're saying is, I don't think it's just the winter. I think it is the change that you spoke of. Mm-hmm.

It's not just like, we're not like just seeing all these like Northern Russians, just coming out being funny, you know, if anything, they're like, killed them all,

you know? The literature. and classical music that came out of Russia. Yeah. Best in the world. That's true. Yeah, I wonder. But I think literature rather than stand up.

This is why I like the UK. Oh? Because, and you know, I don't know that it's fully true now. I do have a lot of British friends. I think that it's like you live in a place that's beautiful. That's kind of a collapsed empire in some ways, but it's not really collapsed. And it rains all the fucking time. I said with love and respect for my UK listeners.

I was just in the UK. It doesn't feel collapsed. It's still beautiful. They better at a Y. Say again. They better at a Y. Say again? Yuck.

At a Y to the UK. Oh, yuck. God, that took me so long. I was like, oh, what? It wasn't great.

It was okay. I love the British. But it rains. You have these small, old buildings. You don't want to be inside. And that's why they go to comedy. You can go to a comedy thing

and it sells out every single night. Because you want to distract yourself from the two-tiered police. In your tiny little apartment with the rain. You go, I'm alive. I should go, I should go get drunk and not having my feelings. By New York as well. You're not got in New York to stay in your apartment, do you?

I know. I just, every time I think about New York, I get sad. I feel like New York's been ruined. New York, I love you, but you're something right now. You haven't watched that with the Miles Davis trumpeting yet, have you? No, you're going to show you. Can't wait to bring that up. You're going to show you.

But yeah, this place, I feel like if I lived here, I would become so fulfilled by just looking at the ocean and the bridge and the hills and the architecture that I would never say a funny thing ever again. And indeed, there are many such cases of people who come out to California and then the good work falls apart. Yeah. I think for, again, in all these places, it's the transplants that I have an issue with. I like, you know, I like Los Angeles.

Linos, they're called Los Angeles. Los Angelinos. Increasingly. Over in Los Angeles, Stan. No, I said that before. I said some sort of Stan joke before, and I apologize. It's the Stan show. Hey, Stan.

Anyway, the important thing is, ah, it's just like, it's good to be from somewhere. It's good to have roots. I really mean this. Yes. I think it's also good to come in. I think transplanting is okay if you're there to, soak up the vibe that was there.

Assimilate. Yes. I know that that sounds so racist, but it's true. Like, people used to go to, like, New York from,

like, other places, parts of the country, and they would go there because New York was exciting. They didn't want to go there and make New York something else. Or they wanted to add to the vibe.

It's wonderful seeing New York is in New York. Right. Because they know what they can tolerate. They know what you don't tolerate. They are, they are a distinct people. Right. They're a real meaningful group of people.

I remember during COVID, I was waitressing downtown. I mean, at that point, things had reopened. We had a while where we still had to card people for vaccine stuff or else I'd sit outside. But it started raining. And this was in Greenwich Village, which I grew up hanging out in the village with my cousins before it was all fucking money shit. And it started raining really quickly.

And they had one of those outdoor, like, wooden structures for the tables. And started pouring rain. And a couple of mice took refuge in a very cute little. I mean, you know, you don't want to touch them, but just mice, not rats. Refuge into this thing. And the women, these transplant weak little bitches. Were they transplants? No, they were just cisplants.

Okay. Yeah. And they were like screaming. And they were like, do something. And I'm like, I mean, I was having too much fun. I was watching them and just really, really relishing in the moment. It's a very trans world. You know, not just in terms of like, I feel that the, the actual transsex, transgender thing sort of past, but this trans, just moving.

Right. Not being where you're from. Transient. Not being the class you were from. In many places in the world, not speaking the language you were raised to speak. You're raised to speak or the people around you. Yeah, I mean, you have the people in French having to speak in English all the time. Right.

The Parisians speak in English. That's just the most nervous. I met someone at your show the other night who was French. We'd love them. I mean, he'd come over here. Yeah, he had a great time. It's the language I most think of. I'm only thinking this because I've been on the road for so long.

And I have become a ruthless cosmopolitan. Yes, one of these people. A wanderer. An exile. Yeah. Jew. Yeah, there's a plant called The Wandering Jew. They're trying to rename it.

I'm like, keep it. I like it. I like the attention. There's a book called The Dudd Avocado. Do you ever hear of it? The D-U-D-Avacado. D-U-D-D-Avacado. I remember I had it for a long time.

I never read it. And then I just one day picked up and read it. It was such an interesting, weird book. What were they saying? but it's funny and I've seen it on all these like lists since then I don't know how I ended up it I've never heard of it it's good it's again you liked it I liked it I think it was like an old way of there were some people in like the 60s 70s who like and patty smith was one of those people they would get around the world at a time of people didn't get around the world the road yeah there was

a bus that used to go from London to I can't remember it was somewhere in now Pakistan or now India. What? A bus. I remember finding out about it. I looked it up. Didn't they have to drive on the wrong hand side of the road for much of that journey? I think at that time you didn't.

But even if they did, they would manage it. And it took, I forget if it was like weeks or months, but I watched something about it. It was like a short documentary. And it was so cool. But something about the riffraff who don't really care for the world, just being out of in the world and just getting like a really good martini in Tokyo or do you know what I mean like they just they just go and global elite yeah they just go and live in hotels and there's no kind of like humbling by culture that's that's not what it feels like I've been I when I think of my time

on the road no I don't think you're that I think of like a guy working on a cargo ship yeah yeah so the world's like I saw the ship yeah that's so accurate to touring I went through the list earlier. I'm sure it was a very dull part of the podcast, but I was going through it and it's like, Toronto, one hour in an art gallery. Yeah, it wasn't a great gallery, I thought.

I didn't hate it, but. We didn't get to see as much as I would have liked, but a part of it was because they had that really, Korean children. Yeah, really loud singing thing in the middle of a very echoy museum. And you couldn't hear anything. It was like so antithesis, antithetical. Antithetical to a museum.

It was the antithesis. Antithesis of a museum experience. Have you, um, what books have you picked up while we've been on the road? How you picked that? A lot. Yeah, you've bought me a few. Have I? Yeah.

Tender's a night. I bought you Fenters and I as well. Yeah, what was the second one you mentioned? Wow, I bought you tenders a night. Fountainhead and Fountainhead. I think you actually got me more than that. You got me Fountainhead, Frenne and Zooie. At some point, I wanted to buy books, but I didn't want to buy them for me.

Yeah. And then your friend Joe Ashd bought me butter, which I have not read yet. A lovely fellow. It was nice reconnecting with a lot. I didn't get to see Sam Talent. Oh, where was he? In Denver? He was on the road while I was on the road.

Like we were, he lives in Detroit now. Okay. A fine city. Yeah, I didn't get to go. I didn't get to go to Detroit. Well, you may. I'm sure one day I will go to Detroit. You may one day go to Detroit.

Fantastic airport. Eve must now fly the coop, and I recommend everybody goes and listens to Eve's podcast. Thank you. The Eve Ellenbogan show. Show. It's hot. Show business is going through a series. There's a Graydon Carter quote in How to Lose Friends and Alienate people.

A great what Carter? Great. Graydon. Graydon Carter. Okay. Great and Carter. Do you know Grayden Carter? I don't, but I just, I thought you were saying a great and Carter quote.

No, it was the, uh, he's the vanity fair editor okay but he was like to see you know life is a series of rooms that was what I always think about it with the doorways yeah you got to go through like there's no skippin you go through the next door and then you go through the nepo babies are born in different yeah or sometimes you kind of go through a room more quickly than other other people I mean it just really depends yeah I feel like I've gone through all these or sometimes I think they kick you back into the one of the old. COVID really threw things off for me anyway. Yeah. But that's okay. I was thinking about that today. How much of it is like looking like a person who's successful and having people

accidentally agree? I think it depends on what industry you're in and stand up. There's corporate gigs. Yeah. And so I know of this corporate gig where they pay $500,000. It's insane. Where is it? What country is in? It's in America. A half a million dollars. And they pay half a million dollars. And they've had so many people. And they got Tony Hinchcliff this year or last year. But like, I don't know how much he got.

You probably made more. I probably made more than that. I don't think I'm telling any tales out of school. Right. And if I am, whoopsie, daisy. Look, they have to disclose that stuff on their stuff anyway. No, but it's, you know, I don't want to buy up anybody's spot. But it's like, that's what I've heard.

Could be getting this wrong. Yeah. But there are other people, you know, Jim Jeffries did it. years ago and it's just like huge because they want like a big name act they want someone who everyone feels is big jeleno feels big but then you you know i think of the um you know the Netflix is a joke festival there are all these people who are like big movie stars they can't sell tickets right because no one actually wants to see them people just know who they are and if they're there maybe they have star power you mean are they watching or they're in the festival like no one's a fan of them

like in the festival no one's a fan of them they don't sell right No one wants to go and see. Right. You know, this person. Yep. You can tell them. I will shut up about that. But there's something like, but you can also have a lot of fans.

It's odd for me to think those are distinct things. There's the impression of being a success and being known and everybody. That's a person who we know. And then there's a person who actually has a lot of fans. I think of in music, Kanye talks about how he wanted like a certain thing for his tour. And they're like, you'd need to sell this many tickets. We don't believe that you can. He's like, of course I can.

And he had to take the financial risk. Then all these people showed up. Because when you do talk to music people, they go, well, he's great. He's a genius. I'd really like to go and see. Like, there might be people who are more popular and more known at different times, but don't have as many people who are big fans of this. So what I'm trying to get the rub of the matter.

There was a time when I was working commercial radio where they wouldn't play post Malone on the radio. Right. Even though he was the number one act on Spotify. It's crazy. Because they were like people who aren't his fans don't like him. and most people aren't his fans. It's just if everyone, he has the most fans,

but like the second level down from that, people have a low tolerance at that time. And I think of someone, I mean, there must be good examples of people who like, everybody knows, everyone goes, oh yeah, but no one has a picture of, and this is why it's going to be hard to pick them because you wouldn't,

it's just a person that we'd all know, but like the one that came to meet it was like Reith Witherspoon, but she actually is great. And there would be people who are like, I love Reese. Reese is my number one. Right. Who am I talking about then?

Someone who's like well known, but ambient. Yes, exactly. I mean, who we're talking about? I guess, I mean, I think Dane Cook was that person, but he did sell a lot of tickets. For a time. Right. And then it was able to go away. Right.

And I feel like for some people, it would be impossible for it to disappear. Look at Maria Bamford. She is so specific and has probably a pretty narrow fan base. And it has such longevity. because the people who loved her before still really love her. She's so specific. She's not trying to appeal to everybody. I think it's a time of,

because of like streaming and all stuff like that and Spotify is taking all of these songs we know and making AI covers. And also making covers not with AI, but with people they could just pay for the session. And so then they play really bad, jazzy covers of every song you've ever heard. And you get used to living in a shit.

Like, you're never outraged by hearing something you hate, but you also never really are excited about anything that's playing when you're eating lunch. It's all muted. It's all really beige and gray. And you never feel uncomfortable. You never have to change the radio station. And then your inner life becomes really kind of like just even. There's no.

Yeah. And so I think that they're, I think that these agents and I won't name names, but there's a lot of that in the business that they don't. want to see you unless they think you can be the next mediocre big thing. And of course, you go, well, I'll fucking kill myself if I'm like that. I don't care about those fans. I don't want to just be in front of people who could be in front of anything.

It's always a countdown to me talking about the Australian comedy scene, so I'm going to avoid doing it. Right, but that's how I feel about Australia too. I didn't realize that at the time that what was being competed for was can you be one of our, can you be? Can you be a nobody? This is only big, I'm only saying this because it's the thing I'm looking at out the window. But can you be one of the leaves that fit on this tree? Yes.

The industry is the tree. And you might be the biggest, brightest, most wonderful leaf if you don't really fit with the other leaves. We can't do anything with you. The tree, this is a soft metaphor. Yes. A weak, disturbed metaphor. It's something, it's something odd where I think the internet. is now allowing for other...

I was hearing someone talk about the manosphere. And they were talking about, you know, they said the line was something like Rogan and Clavicular and Fuentes and people like that. And you go, none of those guys are like each other. No. And no one else is like any of those guys. That's why they're huge.

I don't really listen to Clavicular or Fuentes, but I of course know who they are, but like they're not like each other. They're not like each other. And they're certainly not like Rogan. No. I was talking about that. I was talking about Rogan today with my friend who I was hanging out with because she's pretty left.

She lives here. We grew up together. We went to college together. And I think in the circles that she's in, probably Joe Rogan is like considered like, you know, it's like a dirty word. I'm like, he's a guy. I don't really know him. Like you know him much better.

I mean, I've met him a few times through you. Yeah. But he's a guy. He got very successful. He has opinions about, or he. He doesn't and people want to... An incredible amount of the time he doesn't. Right.

Yeah. And it's like, he better and oh. And I mean, someone I was talking to not that long ago brought up Joe Rogan and then I said the thing about him doing stand up and they went, he's a comedian. I thought he was like a political commentator. And I was like, wow,

that's so crazy. Just to think that be... And then this guy didn't like him because he thought he was like a right wing political con. He thought it was like Tucker Carlson. I think for people in the mainstream, they're like by words. And also like Tucker Carlson,

until recently was like a byword with like Sean Hancock. Right. And they're very different. They're obviously hugely different. But I think this is what the left gets wrong. It's one of the things the left gets wrong about the right. Yes. Is that it's not, it's like a constant civil war. And the-

We've been watching the Jimmy's, you and I. Yeah. And it's unwatchable. It's, but that's on the left, there is some sense of like. Sorry, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kim. Oh, no, they know the Jimmy's. Oh, yeah. The listeners, sure.

I know the gym is. It's just within acceptability politics. There's just a much stronger sense of what is like good taste, bad taste. And people have that internalized. And it's funny because I'm not saying, I just think that like most of the mainstream is bad taste. Like I've talked about night talk shows and stuff. Now, I don't think it always was. it is now mostly bad taste.

This kind of like graying out of music and also this desire for like really mid-comedy by agents and whatever. Of course, once you start making money, then they go, actually, we find you very interesting. I think I'd just give a shit about it. I almost tried to tell me this years ago. Yeah.

It was like, they just want enough that can make money off. That's it. I think they don't care. And especially now, they don't, nobody's a tastemaker. Nobody's got their eye out with their eye, what their looking. Well, other comedians do in our business. And I think in music,

other musicians do. Right. But the people, the agents and the managers, what they are looking for is not how do I make this, how do I bring this person who I think will be very successful

to the mainstream? What they think is, how do I take a cut of what this person is already making? Yeah. And that is devastating for all of it. I mean, it is and it's not because it's like,

all right, I'm not going to get discovered, but I can also go out and make my own career. I will say it is hard navigating new stuff. ages. Like if you suddenly have a big audience online, thinking out how to get in with comedy clubs

and have merchandise there and do your taxes. Yeah. Are you speaking from experience here today? Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, these are all the things I hate. I'm fucking working on it. I sent a letter out today. I sent an email out today going, hey, too much was said, but not enough has been done.

An edit point has been inserted into the podcast. I said one thing too many. I appreciate it. I'm just going to see if I did actually get a response. of course I didn't well I just have to go around it no it's fine that's fine ah mercy mercy me

I got a letter I got a message from Sam Clark about the podcast as well it's purchase order what does that mean purchase order is when you usually bulk or when you buy something large ahead of time

oh oh this is money for advertising on the show purchase order which we did we already did the ads I'll have you know do you know I did the ads and people worried about you Remember when we were in New York and you did the ads for the, it wasn't a Zinn, but it was like a thing like a Zinn.

I forgot that I'd done that. I did a podcast episode already in New York. I left. No, you're doing, I think so. Ah, I was finishing an episode that I'd done earlier. Right. And so I left. It was like one of the nights.

I walked you back. Oh, man, I'd forgotten how much I'd done to the podcast. And you did this thing and you were like, yeah. Wow. You were just like kind of. I was drinking a fireball Gatorade. Yeah, you were railing against something while doing an ad. And then you told me that people messaged.

going, are you all right? Well, the podcast will, this is, this is, um, this is pre-returned to normalcy podcast because I'll be back home soon and there'll be a new normal. Yeah. I want everyone to know about the new normal. And we're going beige. Right. We're going mainstream.

Yeah, yeah. The podcast, I think, we'll see if he agrees to do it. Gray beige. Yeah. It'll be me, Darcy. I'm thinking two chairs and we are just going to chat about the news. You could be a Jimmy. Oh yes.

Don't think there aren't people in the orbit who want me to become the final Jimmy. But you could be a Jimmy who does it with a spin. It seems like so much work to be Jimmy. A Jimmy with pizzazz. Eve, we have all the money to make a movie. Yeah, that's great. We're going to make a movie. Beautiful.

The podcast must continue. And I, Darcy walked into my life. He will be my sidekick and we'll set up a nice camera. and I'll just get, I'll talk to Darcy for two hours a week. You know which episode I'm most excited for. What are you excited for? With your father.

I'd release the podcast with my father. One day. Have you sent me the video? I sent you the video. Thank you. We did a great podcast with Eve's father that will be coming as soon as I can't be bothered making a podcast. He's 91.

Just remember that time. You want it out, you want him to hear it. I would like him to hear it while he's alive. I would hope. To his credit, he has not one time brought it up to me, possibly because he's forgotten. But I don't think he will forget for long.

Life is very long and there is time. I might finish uncut gems. Did I? Yeah, I might lie on this couch and finish uncut gems. Yeah, I think when you do that, I'm going to go read. Okay. Where did you go for a walk-off sign? I heard you, it was so funny, these walls are paper thin.

I know, I'm sorry. I mean, I wasn't asleep, but I was about to go to sleep. And then I heard like, well, oh, hang on this, that. I was like, okay, this is, I can't, I can't earplug my way through this. Thanks for letting me know. Oh, I heard someone snoring. I was wondering. Was I snoring really loudly?

No. It's just paper thin walls. Yeah. How much, what does it sound like when I snore? Ha! Listen, I, that's just me screaming. My PTSD. It was not pleasant.

Yeah. No, come on. You barely heard it. Right. That wasn't snoring, James. No. Please, no. Anyway, we've had a good tour.

We've had a great tour. We love San Francisco. And I'm leaving. We're both leaving. Where are you flying off to tomorrow? Austin. Austin, Texas. To prepare for your new life in.

Nashville. Nashville, Tennessee. Yeah. You're going to get into the hockey? I don't even know that they have. Do they have hockey? The Predators. That's not my jam.

You're going to. Make it Eve. Eve. I'm going to make it in Nashville, Tennessee. My goal is to just be there during the week, working stuff out at Zanies, and then be away every weekend. Every weekend. Most weekends.

On the road. Doing gigs. It's going to get old so fast. Doing hours. It's going to get old so quickly. I believe in you. And I'm going to call you crying going, why did I want this? I have a new number.

I'm going to have a new number. I'm waiting to get. I want them to announce the foldy phone. Actually, I get... Oh, the foldy iPhone. I'm so torn between walk away from phones entirely. And just have like a... Just go back to the dumb phone.

And no one can get me. You've tried that already. I'm not good at it. No. But I... Because no one's good at it. If I try again, yeah. No one's good at it.

And you're... It's really hard to accept that we have to be. I think I'm getting to a point where I don't have to be. I don't know. You said that to me about so many things and you've been wrong every time. I know. But I believe.

I believe that I'm getting to a point where I can... You can't just be I have a phone that you can't text on. That's one of the only things I need to do. I think I'd even go back to Walkman. It's like you need... I could go Walkman. But James, you listen to more music than like anybody on Spotify. Yeah.

You're always sending me. I'm walking away. On the plane, you have like a little keyboard on your phone and you're making songs. I'm going to buy a little keyboard for my house. Yeah, to bring with you or on the plane. I don't travel anymore. Right. Travel James is dead.

Blood and soil James rises triumphant. I hope he doesn't die before you get out of this country. Yeah. We haven't spoke. Anyway, my health episodes have all been, I've, I've did my blood test. and I'm fine. Yesterday, I told you this, when you went to the urgent hair in the morning

and I've been sent, you're like, I'm dying all the time. I'm dying. And I go, you're fine. And you're like, stop it. It's almost like you want to die to me wrong. She's killing me.

Why are you stressed? You're so stressed. Try not to be so stressed. I never say why are you stressed. I say, James. You're all stressed out. I say, you are stressed.

I say maybe your health issues are related to the immense stress that is oozing. out of every pore of your body. You don't say whatever could be responsible for that. We love it. It's not me. It's me.

It's not the tour. We went to Casa Benita. That was a very nice experience. It's not the family. The podcast has come to an end now. Wait, but so then when the podcast is over. So then you went to go nap and then you're like, I'll be an hour. She's a control freak.

And then you never woke up. Or you didn't wake up for hours. And I thought, don't do this to me on the last day or the second. Don't die. on me. I will die. And then I have to call your wife and she'll go, why didn't you take him to the hospital? I go, he went this morning. I did too much. I did too much. Yeah. I did too much. On this tour. I did too much and it wasn't enough. It was, you did a lot and it was great and it will be really good. I still can't buy a boat. You could buy a boat. I can't buy my boat. You could buy a boat. It's a

$500,000 boat. You can't buy that boat. That's the boat. I still can't buy the boat. I've worked so hard and I can't buy a boat. Do you understand, Eve? What it's like? give four years if your life to try and not being able to buy a half a million dollar boat and I still can't buy a half a million dollar boat the truth is that if you had been a little bit better with your money not true not true you could have bought that's not true it's not true it's not true it's not true I am well can no longer can I have people with less money than me tell me I'm so bad with money oh no I know you're about money I know it's been my family forever my family would always go James is bad

with money. You're great. And I would want to say, I made, you know, on the year that mom was like, you're not very good at using your money and not overspending. It's like, I made $18,000 this year.

You're great. And I paid rent. At making money. Now, you're great at making money because you make really weird shit. And as you know, I'm a fan. Better help and mud water.

Is it pronounced mud water? I think so. We love mud water. It doesn't make, just being able to make money does not make one good with, money. I am bad at making money. I'm a money spengali. I, you know what I should do? I should manage your money. Why don't you give me your money? No. Why don't you give me that? Do you know what's

funny? I, I, um, I've had, I think I have it with me a bank card link to your bank account that I got for you. It's time for you to give me that card. It's just so funny how much I could have robbed you for so long. Ha ha ha ha ha. Give me my bank card. I want to see it. You've never even let me see it. We've been on the road for three weeks. I think I might have. This is the first mention of it. It's not the first mention of it. Is it Darth Vader themed? Yeah.

I think it's right here. Do I have it here or did I put it elsewhere? Yes. Did I put it in that homeless man's hand today when he asked me for a dollar? I might have said, sir, go. Do I really have a Darth Vader? Go ahead now. Thank you.

Throw it over here. Please throw it over here. That's my Darth Vader money card. Yes. I made fun of you for getting Star Wars and then I found my card. Has it been activated, by the one? It has not yet been activated. But I'll tell you this, I could have activated it because I also know your fucking passwords.

And I did it. And it's, the password is.