The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - S2 Ep16: Pre A-POP

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

Part 2 on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/jdfmccannThis episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan is brought to you by:HARRY'S: https://harrys.com/catamaranBETTER HELP: https://betterhelp.com/catamaranHIM WL: https://hims.com/catamaran

This time of year always makes me rethink what's in my closet. I'm trying to keep fewer things, but better ones, pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. Quince, uh, as are the fabrics that feel elevated. The fits are thoughtful and the pricing actually makes sense. Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen. and their insanely soft, flow-knit activeware fabric. Fabric so soft, it is insane!

Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable and comfortable pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined. So you look put together without trying too hard. And their flow-knit active wear, moisture, wicking, anti-oder, and soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it all day? The best part is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're paying for quality not brand markup.

Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy. Just thinking about clothes from Quince right now makes me feel a lot better. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Quince.com slash catamaran for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q-U-I-N-C. C.E.com slash catamaran for free shipping and 365 day returns. Starting now.

I want to minimize everything that is not the work. Everything that is bureaucratic, everything that is material. I want it out of the way. My eyes started twitching. again. Need a bell, mate? Yeah, give us the smallest bill. We're good to go? Hit me with the small bell. Welcome to the James Donald, Fawkes-Bacan, Catamaran plan. It's enough. What are you doing? What are you doing? Get it off your feet. You disrespect the bell. You disrespect the bill? Hey, that's half my bell now. I earned it. Earned it. I earned it. How much will we pay in Darcy?

Is that rhetorical? Yeah. All right, we'll start now. Hi, Darcy. Hi, James. It's good to be back. I've done my back. You have? What did you do?

I reached over to pick up some laundry. Laundry, that's it? My back went snap. I was on a flight back from Honolulu the day prior. You went to Hawaii? I went to Hawaii. Have you been to Hawaii? I've been to Hawaii.

Man, tell me about your time in Hawaii. Oh, it's just over a little over nine years ago. I went island hopping. I got my taste of American culture. You went to Honolulu? Honolulu, Waikiki, the island with the big volcano. I was on Waikiki. The beach?

Yeah. I loved Waikiki. Oh, it's wonderful. You get the pancakes, one end. You got the zoo and the other. I did walk down to the zoo. It was beautiful, man. It is.

A great big trees. But I tell you, one night, I went for a war. I said, I'm going to see the real Hawaii. And I went for a walk. And you wouldn't have had this experience because you would have been 11. But I, at night, I was on the phone with my friend Eve. and I went for a walk from Waikiki towards the downtown.

Mm-hmm. And I accidentally stumbled into what I can only describe as the red light district of Honolulu where many aged Asian women tried to massage me. How aged?

50s. 50s? Like bad 50s? Like? Yeah, Haggard. Haggid Honolulu Asian women were asking

me to come in for a massage. And there's so many of these establishments. I was on the phone to my friend Eve going, I've got to get out of here. This is crazy. She's going, maybe some of them are real masseuses. And I'm screaming at her down the phone going, it's 11 o'clock on a Friday night.

Now, of course, my back has since gone for not having had a proper massage. But that was very scary. And then I finally made it to the mall. But it's not all fun and games in Honolulu. Let me tell you. Well, it ain't... Well, did you go to the mall with the multi-platform?

There's the escalators in the... Yeah, baby. I remember it. The US Army posters on the other escalator, remember that? May well. And they had a game stop, and they had... You know if there's one, two, three stores where they sell like the same damn goods, like a surfboard, a bag of peanuts, Hershey's chocolate bar?

Yeah, they had all these marts. That's where I went for my evening... Dacarees. Dacarees. I would buy a dacery and a bottle. And then one night, I'm ashamed to say, I did buy a can of Coca-Cola and two small Jack Danielses. You know? And I poured the Jack Daniels's into the can of Coke so I could walk the streets and be fucked.

It was the end of the tour. It was the end of the tour I was exhausted. And that was, I went to Hawaii in the middle, of the flight on the way back. So I wouldn't come home and be a monster to everybody. But I feel I was a little grumpy in my conversation with Sam before. And I'm going to be grumpy again. I'm going to be grumpy with you. I've been grumpy with my kids.

I'm grumpy with everybody. Darcy, I'm a grump. All right. Well, we've all got our proclivities. She'll be fine. So you're like the, you've become, I don't like saying co-hosts because it makes people feel entitled to half.

But you're on the pod now. I am. I think that's what the pod has become very naturally. I think it'll be, I'd love to be sitting up and facing you, but my back is, it's not in good shape. I mean, we could pose as more avant-gardely. It's just fairly avant-garde. No, we can make it...

I wouldn't say more intimate, but... Yeah, I wouldn't mind it being a little bit... Close the proximity between us in a non-homorotic way. Well, you know, why shouldn't we... Why shouldn't we... Why shouldn't we... Why shouldn't we? Here in the month of pride.

Oh, yeah, it is the month, isn't it? You know, the BWS is they have the flag open in the store and everything. BWS and M. Yeah. What else do they got? That's really good. Here in the many many months of pride. This is my second time in San Francisco, second time in also Pride.

So I don't know how gay it is most of the time. But let me tell you, during this month, it's unbelievably. Oh, boy. So many flags, man. So many flags. flags. Oh, they do. They love the flag on the sidewalk. They love it on the people and the on the windows. Is there a straight flag? I think so. You know, they call it the heterosexuality or something. Yeah. All the cool cats say straight. Straight. I think they do. I think I'm... Are you a cool cat?

I don't know if I'm... Am I a cool cat? Sam, what do you think? Sam's out. Sam's got no microphone today. Just say yes. Nod. Nod. Look at his eyes. microphone out. No, it's you and me. Well, we have to talk about your financial future. Oh, man. I'm the one just like an accountant and you're telling me about my taxes. I am.

Let's go. Start. Hit me. Well, I've got to have you here a day a week. I think that'll be the pod. I think we'll do an hour chat. And then we'll carry it over to the Patreon afterwards. Oh, yeah.

How does that sound? Sure. All right. Well, we've got to talk about it. I mean, here's a, so I'd like some of the. money to go towards the boat. Obviously. So I've got to pay you less

so the boat can have more. But how do we increase Darcy's... Here's some thoughts that I've had. Darcy merchandise. Why what? Well then the listeners can buy Darcy

merchandise and Darcy can have merchandise money. Nah, we'll discuss it privately but you will be paid an amount of money. We're going to meet with an accountant. This episode is pro bono. You were never told you'd be paid for this episode. I was not sold. But we will start, we've got to get Darcy on the books.

I've got to claim Darcy against my income. I get against it? Yeah, I've got to, I've got to pay you. Oh, I thought you would have been like tax deduction. It is, that's what I mean. Oh, all right. He knows best. But you will have responsibilities with payment.

Yes, I will. And one of them is, we've got to talk current events. Karen events? Karen events and current events. Current events. Current events. Current events. Current events.

You want me to get a list? That's his coming up with the top news stories. Yeah, I'll get the list out. There was this woman. I'm getting tagged in stories about this woman. Do you know this Lisa Spencer? I forget her middle name. There's a lady who did a sketch and she, it's being called an anti-Aboriginal sketch.

Oh. And all the comedians in Australia are really piling in on her and being very nasty because she's a white lady who pretended to be like an Aboriginal woman having a bit of sniff. Having a bit of sniff. And but kind of like so the sketch is she plays like this. She's pretending to be a white woman from Melbourne who discovers that she's a bit Aboriginal

and then starts doing Aboriginal stuff like clicking sticks together. Great premise. No one could deny it. It's a fantastic premise. Yeah. And then the last one is she appears to be sniffing petrol out of Jericho. But she's... You see what I mean?

It could be well done. It could be. It has not been well received. Oh, it's a shame. And people are really going hard on her. And they've discovered I was on an episode of Kill Tony with her. Shout out Tony Hinchcliff special just came out today. But this has become a big sticking point.

She got fired from her job. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, she got fired. And then she started to go fund me. And she's made, I think, like 40 grand. She. I was pretty annoyed that she, for a while, it looked like she was, I mean, I went on this big

tour of America and had a difficult time. And she just made a sketch about Aboriginal people's huff and petrol. It seems to have made maybe more money than I'm going to bloody make. That doesn't seem fair. Anyway. But all the big names in Australian comedy are talking about it. All the big names. Craig Corderman. Craig Corderman is talking about it. Have you got your mic?

Who are the big names? Yeah, good. Craig Corderman is talking about it. Others? Other. Big names. It's a big power. Well, Dave Hughes. Well, Dave Hughes is now mostly talking about the cost of living. True. I think Dave Hughes is getting ready to run for One Nation. Have you seen what Dave Hughes is doing on social media? I saw the video of him walking down like Main Street, Melbourne, and he's like,

Oh, how do you do this voice again? Albuoy's gone down the street. He's cracking it. He's just cracked. He's turning left and ride. He's stimming. He's a stimmer. He's a stimmer.

Yeah. Stimidimico. Anyhow, we're going to go on this list of current events. Oh, yeah. Let's sit for a moment in the rise of the populist right in Australia, because it's a bit exciting. Exciting. Would you like, well, I'm excited by it. I'm intrigued by it.

I put my politics on the table. table for everybody. You're curious about it. Oh, what I am, I don't know if you can tell by the way I'm dressed and the way I speak, but I consider myself part of the elite. Elite. I think it a damning indictment on myself and the country that I don't have a hills estate with horses and that my children aren't going to St. Peter's boarding school.

Do you know what I mean? That's spiritually, that's why R.M. Williams, I've never owned a pair, but I think of myself as spiritually an R.M. Williams guy. This won't make sense to American listeners. I'm talking about Australian squatocracy. The squatocracy. I feel spiritually descended from the squatocracy. That's what they called it.

The squatters. Squatter aristocracy. So I like that. Squatter Malin. Squat Lupin. Squat Annastan. I got nothing. Squat rack, Beage.

I think of myself as Adelaide. I've never been to the Adelaide Club. You know, the old money, Adelaide Club. Never been. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think of that as being who I am. You know? Hmm.

I think of myself as, uh, I met Christopher Pine a couple times. I don't know if you remember Christopher Pine. And I felt very at home. You mean P-Y-N-E? Yeah, not the, not Star Trek. Oh, you. Minister for education. A little before your time.

I'm a fixer. Oh, no. I fixed it. I met him. You met him. I met him. Don't tell me you shook his hand. It's not the only thing

I'm not the only shook his hand Straight as narrow Straight as narrow Straight I was trying to get this up I'm sober as a judge You know Not a good judge

A judge who's making a lot of easy mistakes Because of his massive drinking problem Anyway I was pleased with that But no one seems to Care about But that's spiritually That's where I like I like people to talk like this

I like people who go No I'm not going there I've got my MCC memory membership. We're going out to parliamentos. Oh, you must try the barramundas. These sorts of people. That's who I am.

Oh, that sort of Byron Bay clientele, you know, affluent dissenter, but they want to stay by, you know, the boats for some reason. I want, like, Sydney Harbour. All of it. Panorama. Sydney Harbour Panorama. But I'm not, you know, I don't have the finances or the connections to be that. But that's who I feel myself.

That's who I have an affinity with. And they're dying, they're gone. It's old Liberal Party. And it's just, you know, Malcolm Fraser, Menzies, Howard was a parvenu. But Turnbull. Yeah, those all count. Mostly count Turnbull was a big.

But they're dying. It's the Gouda Damarung of these guys. And the old Republicans died out and the old High Tories died out. So too in Australia are they dying. And they're being replaced with these, you know, like Bogan Bogan people

What like Bogan liberals Well even the Bougain liberals are dying out Because they're jumping to one nation But it's all it's all Bogan reactionary And I'm a man of the people I love the Bogan And I love being a reactionary Well, I'm so bad that

What are you reacting to? Well I just Well It's a pervading cultural homogenisation Homogenisation Globalism Globalism

Globalism Globalism Tell us more about this globalism. Well, you don't think... I see... I mean, I just see globalism. Globalism, like what the term you don't like? Or the...

How it is used and applied. It's a label. Or it's direct meeting. You're right. I could only really make sense of it... And I don't only say this to appeal to your prejudices. But... To your prejudices.

But I... Like, architectural globalism, concrete boxes, glass boxes, right angles. no decoration, no ornamentation. Do you know what I'm saying? Big dull skyscrapers. That's my enemy.

Like, I guess you'd say that that's like a globalized Western homogenization. Everything in the West is coming to the same. Coming to, yes, I'm opposed to homogenization. I'm all in all its forms. Those skyscrapers are nothing to be proud of. No, not really. BHB, right on the side, Combank.

whatever else it was. I mean, that B.HP one is won awards. It has? Yeah. What awards? Exactly. Award for being the most slavish bootlicker. Oh.

To... I like that which is... That which is inherent and exciting and strange and local. Parochial. South Australia. South Australia. I'm not in Australian. I'm a South Australian.

I've said this many times. I'm an Adelaidean. I believe in Adelaide. My home is Adelaide. I'm invictive people go, oh, I'm Australian. It's a recent invention, this nonsense of Australia. Break it up. Let the West go free.

Excuse me, it's been a long, excuse me. Well, it's not about what we have. It's about who we are. It's about where we were born and where our memories. I was thinking about this on the drive-in today. It's like, you know, when I'm in America and I read a newspaper, I go, oh, that guy's written a story. What's in the story?

When I'm in Adelaide and I read it, you know, in daily, or whatever. I go, I went to fucking school with that guy. He doesn't know shit. He shut his fucking, he can shut his fucking mouth about car parking spaces in the city or whatever. It's something about being, it's something about home that's very hard to transplant to another place.

And it's, I'll kill for this city. Don't know that I'll die for it. Now, sorry, to get back to this racist woman, this woman who's being accused of being a racist. Well, at least to someone. one Spencer. She seemed like a nice lady when I met it. Here's my issue with the...

No one else has seen the sketch. No one else has seen it. Big news. I think she's making fun of like white people who... Who make out that they've got a deep abiding connection with the Aboriginal community but have only a very shallow understanding of what that would mean. Like I think read very charitably that's what the sketch is about. but people are just going

as a white lady pretending to be Aboriginal and sniff petrol and that's a real no-no but I think people are being slightly uncharitable also her explanation of it seemed to be something like well I should be allowed to attack Aboriginal people

it's like it's not the defence I'd be running in this country at this time the booant Darcy how do you feel about the welcome to country Welcome to country? I don't know.

I've gone through too many of them since high school. It's just everything. Like they could be cleaning up the pool and reopen it and it's, you know, welcome the country. They could be opened up like a Woolworth

like welcome to country. Yeah. Obviously, ceremony of purposes. When I lie down with my wife in the evening, I acknowledge the First Nations peoples. Oh, you say like, I'm going to butcher it,

but I won't try, you know, like, Kinnamanani or whatever. Kinnamanani? Something, something, welcome to my land. Gana. Oh, you know, see, you're of a different generation. You're a bit younger.

So you got more of it at high school. So you probably, I don't know one word of the Ghana language. But you said, you were there. You've got some words ready to go. I don't know. It's favor of. Reconciliation has begun. Reconciliation.

We got less of the National Anthem in primary school to high school and then more of welcome the country. I mean, you must have been a young man when they changed the National Anthem. I remember. when Scott Morrison did Young and 3 to 1 and 3 And I remember when it was In primary school Half the time it was the National Anthem

The other half it was a You know what's that Very effeminate Replacement song where it's like We are one Yeah But we are many And from all

Actually when I was in primary school That it just started coming in Oh I am you We are Australian Who wrote that song this doesn't happen in other countries that they have like a new

multicultural patriotic song which is not a bad song it's got to be said das there are worse songs there are worse songs once a jolly swagman camp by a billabong down by the shade of a coulabartree

I remember that one that should be the anthem people have started booing it though oh yeah in the Antarctic day the end of the fellas and they got arrested I think they go into prison for Boone. One guy got, you know, I forget what it was,

was a fine community service or something. I may be wrong. Yeah. But it was something like that. And he just said, well, I got no problem with the Aboriginal people. But I just don't, I don't agree with the welcome to country at the Anzac opening. That's what his argument was. Yes.

Some of these guys are Nazis, I believe. Slick Nazi operators. Slick Nazi. That's my new rap name, by the way. Slick Nazi. Hannah Montana. That's one of my reps. Yeah.

Slick Nazi coming at you. Now, Adasi, I've got ideas for you. You've got ideas. Bray tell. How's your dancing? Like square dance, the conga line, bloody, breaking a leg. I started working on new music and I had a vision on the flight back. Tell us what this music.

A view and the, well. Well, tell us about the dance, the theory, this dream, this hallucin. You know some of the music? I'll play you some of the music. All right. Is this an exclusive preview to the audience? Yeah, it's more or less... Organ Hour Part 2.

I would say it's exclusive more than exclusive. Can you hear that? I can hear that. Not bad. Look at what I've done with my arms here. See what I'm saying? So my friend, Curen, is a great... He comes up with dance moves.

But I saw you and him in suits. Doing a choreograph dance. I can get on more of that. that I could help I could make you a pop star. I was thinking about making Kieran a pop star, but I was thinking you and Kieran inserts. He's beautiful. It looks sort of similar.

And we'll get you doing like dances. And then we'll give that out to the Japanese and see if they're like that. We're going to make an Oz pop. A pop. A pop. A pop. A pop. A pop.

A pop. A pop. He's, Darcy pays for himself. He's $35 an hour. He's paying for himself. Oh. A pop. And then I saw, because we've got to do organ hour two at some point and go on the road with the,

because I don't have another stand-up comedy hour in me for at least another six months. We're making a movie? You got a battery in you? I've, I'm fucking done. I'm done. But I could play the organ in different cities, and we could have an opening act of the dancing boys. A-pop. A-pop.

Fuck, A-pop's so good. A-pop. The episode is called A-pop. Oh no Just two of them suits Yeah Do you see what I

Sadly now I do Now we see it We gotta start working on the music videos This is what I'm saying in terms of Because we were having a conversation About how much work we could do on the podcast moving forward Because we've got to start making the movie And I'm going

We gotta do one day You know it's all I have But also I will say maybe there's a little budget for apop maybe it's a separate thing maybe we could push the movie back a week just to get A pop out

Maybe the apop dancers Just became a pretty important part of the movie Like a shockingly important part of the movie But also like I don't have to be Like if I'm doing the recordings of the music And it's playing off of the, you know Speakers

Well it's pop music music, you know. Yeah, it's playing off speakers, so I don't have to physically be there. But you boys have your dancers. A lot of this is dependent on whether or not Kieran wants to be involved in dancing. But we set up the show. Let's just get... Is Crown and Anchors still open? They're closed. They'll be opening, I think, late this year, early. Well, we need a stage. Where's a good place to do a pop performance?

Baga Rino. Pop Rino? Pop Rino. Yeah, Rino. Yeah, it's a stage. If we could do an organ hour And then have that as an opening act We should give that a go at some point I don't have phone reception at the moment Do you have Kieran's number?

Yeah Get Kieran on the blower We'll do the news stories in a second This is pretty important All right This is frankly not where I thought Today's podcast was going This is foundation

This is Foundation It's beginning of beginnings Yeah Yeah Kieran Baby James McCann Don't have a phone right now

How you doing Oh, good. How are you? I'm good. You're on the pod. Is he coming through? Well, I'm at the library. Okay. I can't speak too loudly. So...

Happy to be on the pod. A big breakthrough in terms of the music. Mm-hmm. I had a vision on the flight back. Have you met Darcy yet? No. You're going to have to meet Darcy. I'll explain it to you.

What are you doing right now? Which library are you at? I'm at the Burnside Library. You're not too far away. sure all right head over we'll talk soon see soon bye chao

I got so many songs I've been working on for also like I want to treat some of them as demos I want to go and buy this is the only thing I'm buying with all the money from America I do want to buy like a proper synth that I can re-record

some of the what I now know to be A-pop music with Darcy yeah have you got any ideas for dance moves Dars moves Darsie, would you stand over here Just so I can see you Let's hide this from the audience

Doesn't have to see it All right, that's fine All right, now stand there Now let's Have at least one dance move ready For when Kieran arrives, okay? Yes, I like that one Do that again

Yeah, yeah, swang of the arms Well, let's see first of all, yeah Yes, more, more I mean it's moving the whole... Yeah! Yes! Apop! Maybe he's going to think

like you're having birth or something. All right. Yes. Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know that he would be able to do it, but I see it all now. Let me get the music back out here.

Let me get the music back out. Yeah, but that's a different tempo. You don't do dance. Hold on. A pop. You pay. Can we hear that? What?

Simple. What about this one? Do the queen. The hand goes up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Open the door. Yes.

Yes. I can see it all now. This is so fine. No, no. No, no. Straight as hell. So the thing is about Kieran, that you don't know about Kieran. Have you met Kieran?

I never met Kieran. Kieran was always forever. coming up with new, he would come up with new dance moves. So my plan was to make Kieran a Japanese pop star. And there was too much, it was too difficult and whatever. I didn't know where to start. And Kieran J. Callan was going to come over and help with the music. And then I got busy and he got busy.

And we should probably still look into that. Yeah. Probably still look into that. But I can really see. And we've got that triple J connection. You do? Yeah. Weirdly, organ hour got played on Triple J.

And I know a bunch of people who work there. And I would hope that A-pop could at least get a little radio play. It's not the radio station it was. If we get on the hottest 100, Sam, getting on Triple J is nothing but the price of admission are getting on the hottest 100. So that's going to be a big campaign, all right? Now that I've seen Darcy move, Apop. And you wait until Kieran gets here with the dance moves.

Yeah, he'll be here. I wish I hadn't done my back. I wish I wasn't a cripple. How did you do your back? I've reached over to pick up some laundry. That was it. I was all tight. I was all tight because I didn't get Honolulu touch.

Did you squat down or did you bend down? Squat and a bend. Bendy squat. Yeah, no. And I could feel my hammies got. Because I've been on this flight for forever. 16-hour flight, right? Well, it was less because I came from Honolulu.

Oh, yes. It sounded like 10. It's very doable. But I think next time, Fiji. Fiji is more central. I think of myself as, I don't know, look, Darcy, I don't know where I'm going to live. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what the future holds.

I don't know if the special I just recorded is going to get bought by anyone or not. I wrote it in six weeks. I went there with 20 minutes. I recorded a 52, I wrote half an hour of comedy in six weeks and recorded it at great personal expense. Will anyone buy it? I don't know. Is it any good? Let's find out.

But we don't know. We're going to make this movie. I've been trying to get you in the movie. I've been trying to replace my character with you, but the producer won't have it. What? Yeah, I thought about it, but it's not working. I was trying to get you to star in a movie. I'm not allowed to do it.

I'm not allowed to do it. We've got a role for you. You can be in the movie. All right. You want. Yeah. Yeah, you've got a proper job now, Darcy. I don't know how we're going to afford it, but we're going to figure it out.

Splendid. Yeah. Apop. Apop. Apop. Apop is your job now. A pop. Aop.

Avantgard. It's going to be... Avantgard. It stands for Avonon. Guard, it stands for Australian. It stands for a fantastic new musical opportunity. Because it stands for A, it can actually stand for anything. You just put A in front of it.

Do you know what I'm saying? It's for a groovy band. It stands for a magnificent development. Stends for artificial intelligence. A. Where's he going in it? A pop. I think, as it pronounced, A pop or a pop?

A pop. Either way. Neither way. Not either way, Darcy. You think. Sorry. Sorry. Sam, you'll find this about.

I'm just trying that out. Sam's got very, Sam's a bully. Number one, Sam's a bully and has a very clear. A stands for aesthetic because he has a dictatorial view. Now that he can see it, this is what I'm saying.

You don't understand what's been loose to it. I saw the look in his eye. As soon as you said A-pop, he was crushed by the weight of what he knew he had to do now. He has to see this. You don't understand, Das. I don't understand. A constant.

A facet movie has just come into existence. A-pop's too good once it's A-pop. We're going to be fine. If we've got the belief and we've got each other and we can treat each other with respect. If we can all treat each other with respect, nothing can hold us back. I agree. Can it ring the bell? Is this quote?

Not yet. This is quote, which is, why do I need an opposition? The world is our opposition. We've got to stick together. I don't need. We don't need opposition within ourselves. The world is our opposition. I say that all the time.

It's a Mussolini quote, but I overcome that. It's when he shut down parliament. And they're like, don't you need an opposition? He said, the world is my opposition. Benito was not well liked by his constituents in the end. Yeah. They strung him upside down, Darcy. Yeah, they pissed on him.

They built him up with dynamite. Did they? I'm pretty sure. I mean, they hung him right in front of a gas station. How long did he go? They did hang him at the gas station. Oh, no. Dassey's a student history

Darcy loves history I like history It's odd to think that Darcy is 20 and so Darcy When you think of presidents Like from when you came online Like 10 years old

It was like Trump, right? Yeah Do you remember the Obama presidency? It would have been like the beginning of Trump I do remember briefly Obama So for Darcy's whole life I remember Kevin Rudd You remember Kevin Rudd being the president

The Prime Minister? First that would be second Kevin, though, surely. Probably. I remember that the big CRT. Anyway, back to America. No, I just mean, that's funny that

for you, for me, the president is a guy in a suit being polite. You know, it's Bush and Obama. And a little bit of Clinton. But for your life,

it's either a guy with dementia or a guy calling people retarded. That's what the president means to that. Isn't that funny? Oh. A guy to lectern saying something about

they're eating the cats and dogs. Remember when he said that? Yeah. I don't want him in the election. Yeah, I did. Because it was spiritually true. Spiritually true. Well, I don't think they ever found

that they were eating the cats and the dogs. But it felt, I've been to Minnesota. You have? And a little part of you goes, these guys eating cats and dogs? Are these guys eating cats and dogs? It doesn't matter if it's true. It's true.

The resonance is true. It's like when Pauline Hanson complains about stuff. You go, is that true? But you go, feels true. I mean, sometimes. Made in parliamentary speech, kind of, you know. You've been watching that one in the evenings? You pop on Pauline's maiden speeches.

No, no, no. Darcy kicking back with a couple of pales and some Pauline. Darcy loves Pauline. Oh, maybe about 20 years ago. Probably not now. When you were in the womb? Okay. We're going play.

I don't think people know. What do we know? When I can sit up again, when I regain the ability. When you can walk? I can do a little, I walked to get this coffee. But when I can, I couldn't run. I couldn't have chocked. If there was an emergency, I would have been, I'm done.

I mean, I'll just take a few days. At 2 p.m. I can take more drugs. Ooh, little lunch and a little drugs. Love little drugs. Is this the autism medication? You know, I don't really believe in any mental illnesses or disorders or, you know. That's just how I choose to live as though they don't exist.

But some people definitely have them. But I choose to believe they don't exist. Because here's what I've discovered. People who say they've got them and discover, they go, I've got an autism diagnosis. Then they become more autistic. They treat this as an opportunity to go like, I don't have to, I had all these masking behaviors. Now I don't have to do them anymore because this is who I am and that's okay. And I think the opposite should be true.

You go, hey, there's something wrong. Time to get an even bigger, more effective mask. Hannah Gadsby came across as being less autistic before she seemed to know she was autistic. And once she knew she was autistic, her delivery became more autistic. It became like hard and robotic. We're all capable of incredible things. I'll tell you this about myself. When I'm exhausted, I can't make eye contact with people. It's an effort for me. And it came, some of the time I was on stage in America. And you know, by the, by the

sixth show on the third day with travel all the time, I couldn't look at the audience. I was like, I'm looking at the fucking great. I've gone autistic. When I'm tired, I am more autistic, which makes me think that's, you know, as a default, you know, like, it takes energy to make eye, it's like uncomfortable to make eye contact with people when I'm exhausted. I mean, there's a lot of different stressy factors there and whatever, but like, and the answer is not to go, oh, that's who I truly am. I shouldn't, I shouldn't try anymore. We should all be trying for normalcy. We should. We should. You know, if I discover about myself that I have an underdeveloped frontal lobe and that I'm more inclined to stab people,

that's not to say that my true self needs to get out there and stab more often. It's I need to take extra steps not to stab. Do you know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying. And that's why I'm proud of the two of you and of me. Because I reckon, just quietly, I reckon you get a psychotherapist in here. Autistic levels are probably off the fucking chance. in this room.

Off the fucking map! But we're all doing our best to expend huge amounts of effort and energy for normalcy. And that's what this show's all about. It's about me buying a catamaran. I need Kieran to get here and start the dancing. All right, let's do the news stories.

Oh, all right, let's swipe. We're going to get, we're going to get used to this. Smaked ham. I can feel it. Five things. I'll lead them out in chronological water. The war in Lebanon, Lisa Spence, which you already covered,

the Victorian Premier, having the Ditch the Witch. All right, let's do these one at a time. Let's do these one at a time. Let's top of the air. Let's start with Victorian Premier, ditch the witch. What's happened?

Well, the Premier incumbent right now has been an opposition campaign. It's been one of those digital trucks for the billboard on it. Someone's been driving it all around Victoria and Noble. And they're attacking the Premier of Victoria, Justin Allen. They are...

What's the word? Displaying her. No, no, no. I've seen this. There's a big billboard. And they're saying, ditch the witch? Oh, yeah. You know, portraying her as a witch.

Yeah. Which is apparently sexist or misogynistic. I didn't get that because it's attacking someone in public office. Yeah. But yet that is already down to, oh, you don't like her because she's a woman. Yes. I didn't get that. And obviously, it's old in, you know, ABC 9.

Compared to what people were saying about Dan Andrews. True. I mean, I saw some of the graffito about Dan Andrews, and it wasn't like, you know, give heave-ho to the wizard. It was, I'm going to find out where he lives and I'm going to hang him from a fucking tree. Like, really?

Dictator Dan. Dictator Dan needs to die. Male Dan. People were very upset with Dan, and I don't see the same level of negativity about Jacinda. But I think it's a pornographer's truck or a strip club is trying to get rid of this woman. Am I right it?

Or a bordello. Yeah, I think it's a Bordello. What's a Bordello? A Bordello, House of the Rising Sun. Sandwich Pordello? A Bordello sandwich, Portobello? Portobello. You mean like Adrian Portellio, whatever the hell of his name is? Who is that? Do I know that person?

Bontempelli. We're just saying Italian words now? Are we just one after another saying Italian words? All right, Mr. Pompeii. What about him? How do you know Andrew Portelli? Something, something, legal, legal, military. lottery scam, some crap, I don't know. I thought it was a guy I had on my podcast.

We went to the laundromat. We went to a laundromat? All these Italians, man. Love Italians. Do we love Italians? We do. They make great sandwiches. Some of the best.

I'm gluten-free at the moment, and it's killing me. I know. Playing the waist, crippled on the bed. What? What did you say? You're crippled on the bed. It's like... Oh, no, this is nothing to do with the gluten.

This is... It's like an egg's... painting here. You're like one of the Roman emperors just, you know, dead on the chair, on the couch, the table. We're going to, listen, the podcast is going to get more normal and we are going to make eye contact.

Once I've got the energy to make eye contact, I'll be making eye contact with my new friend Darcy. When Kieran gets here to move your legs, we'll sit you up. Well, I'll watch the two of you dancing over there. And we'll just start working on that as a project. There really isn't helping the emperor analogy. You're just, you're lying down. You're going to have like two dancing men to entertain you.

What happens in the podcast Is what must happen on the podcast That's what I think a lot of people don't understand Hold on my woman's texting me Yeah, a woman's texting does I know, it's a funny name Something Sam Clark You gave me three PDFs here

Yeah, we don't have to do it right now Weight loss We'll do it at the end And then we'll cut it into the episode Okay We've got a lamp back there too Where will be Do you want to hold out the lamp

me just for a second and then put it down where it is just for half a second let people see the lamp people love it when there's a lamp on the show all right now put it back Sam's Sam's not breaking it no

Sam's got very defined boundaries where the lamp is meant to be on set is this lighting good are wonderful back to the list in Olympics this place all right what's the other thing everyone's

masking and that's That's good. I love masks. All right, what else is happening in the news? So Lisa Spencer. Lebanon war. You've gone through a hard time.

Lebanon war. Do we like the Lebanese war? Israel. Seems like Trump is telling Lebanon to calm down. Trump is telling Benjamin Yahoo to calm down. That's right. You know, if this is a newsy comedy podcast, we'd go like, oh you've always got that one mate

who's always kicking up little guy always kicking off in the bar you know what I'm saying and the big friends are going hey what the anyway little geopolitics there for you what's the next big story

the protest in the United Kingdom oh because the fellow got stabbed in Ireland and in the UK they're in Ireland now because like what yesterday another fella got stabbed by another one another fellow

in Northern Ireland. More stabbing? Yeah, by some alleged Sudanese asylum seeker. So it's really cracking down all over about people with that. Yeah. Well, to British people, aren't British. Yeah. Well, I tell you, man, if ever there was a bad time to be a person of color

stabbing a white guy in that part of the world, it's now. Definitely. Yeah. Because what you do not want as a part of a minority community, is for this to seem like a pattern. That's really big for it not to be a pattern. So I'd leave the knife, bring the canoli. What are you going to cut the canoli up with?

Figure it out when you get there. I'm sure they'll have a knife. They have those stab-proof knives where they take the tip off. So it's like you can't stab with it. You can slash, but I assume. Look, we saw the knives for sale when we were in the UK. Oh man. So a kid, a white kid, correct me from wrong.

No, this is a big one. Henry Novak. Henry Novak, a Sikh stabbed him with his knife. The Sikhs are allowed to have knives. Yeah, those ceremonial knives. Yeah, ceremonial knife. But he stabbed this guy, and the guy died,

Henry Novak. And Henry Novak, when the cops come, yeah, in the UK, but he's still alive and he's going, I can't breathe, he stabbed me. And the cops going, I don't think you have been stabbed, mate. And they arrested him. And they arrested him because the Sikh said, because the Sikh said he tried to touch my turban.

He's a racist. And so he stabbed the guy. guy and they arrested the guy who got stabbed. And he was laying out. And now he's been arrested and put in jail. But that is what happened at the time. And the guy died because they wouldn't believe him. I don't know how stabbed he was.

But he was saying, I can't breathe. I've been stabbed. And they handcuffed him. And it was a big thing. And then there's big riots in the UK. It's a huge story. Yeah, definitely. Young people are all across it.

Oh, it's like everything. Like there is obviously the professional opinion about like, oh, you know, even if he was given medical care, he still would have died anyway. having a direct quote on body cam saying I don't think you have been stabbed Yeah it's pretty grim And they said it Yeah

Oh don't faint you have been mate Yeah it's pretty bad Obviously happened at night No but this guy was pale He was pale He was laying on the ground He was losing consciousness And the last words

He would have heard On this mortal realm Well I don't think you have been stabbed I don't think you have been stabbed And he was saying He said I can't breathe I mean he was saying Literally the George Floyd stuff

So what people are saying now is there's two-tier policing in the UK And they treat you one way if you white And they treat you one way If it's a Bipoc, what do they call them? BAME What are they call them? By-P-P-O-C And non-white, P-O-C

You know Cops will treat you like a P-O-S If you're not a P-O-C That's what they're saying Something like that And it's a big political But now's not that You're saying this is another stabbing happening

Oh very recently Yeah, Northern Ireland, there was a, like a 30-year-old man, I think, no, a 40-year-old man stabbed by... Kieran's arrived. Asylum sinker, some Sudanese man. Well, and what else is the big news stories? I don't want to be trying, I don't want to be... Yeah, you don't want to turn this into like your UK Parliament where it's just, oh,

fella got stabbed acid attack, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mr. Speaker. Hello. Oh, you don't have to bail. Kieran, Darsie, Darsie, Kieran. No, no. No, no, we're on the pot. We're on the pot. He's lying.

Good to see you. Kiss his hands. It's been too long. It's been too long. You look well. He's, he's meant to be crippled. I've done my back. I've done my back.

How far is this podcast? How long has this podcast gone for? 59 minutes. All right, we do the hour. We do the dang hour. I can't move right now. We're going to get you on the Patreon. Take a seat.

Take a seat. Take a seat. And we've got big, we've got big, we've got big developments. A-pop. Maybe. He's putting up what you're putting down. A-pop. He understands it.

No, no, no, no, no, it's fine. It'll be on the Patreon. We'll hide you into the Patreon. Well, I guess there'll be some. But you're always coming up with dance moves. I don't know, the scoop. Of course I remember the scoop. A scoop.

I bet there are other dance moves as well. We're going to have to have an opening act for this organ hour show. No, no, no. Well, we want people to join the Patreon. We'd love people to join the Petron. Give away these dance moves. No, no, we'll just talk about the possibility of the dance moves and what it would look like,

because I've got some of the music, okay? And if we can get, I just saw, I just saw, I was on the flight, I made this song, and I had this vision of the UK rioting. And I said, why are they rioting? Is this to do with a stabbing? And then I realized, no, it was people trying to get tickets to see A-pop, my friend Kieran and my friend Darcy in suits dancing to this. new song. It's, um, we'll see, we'll see. Are there any other stories? Okay, the UK is in racial

trouble. The UK is in racial trouble. What else? Uh, let me get my... Have you seen this Lisa Spencer stuff? Are you up to day? No, but I was going to tell you about a beat I was making today. You making a beat as well? At the library. I love this. I love this. We're going to listen to the beat. DeBussy string quartet. I love this. Movement three. I love this. Let's get... I'm Jungle drums? No. I was going with something more bottom over. Let's leave it for the page.

Don't give them any more information. All right. Now, what have we got? What have we got to us? Just expansion on talking about Zygeist. Zygne? I know she wanted to, like, unless you want to go through headlines right now.

Yeah, yeah. All right then. One more story. One more big story. One more big story. What's the big story? What's the big story? Have you eaten lunch?

Me? Vietnamese sandwiches, Vietnam sandwiches, Vietnam sandwiches. Sure. I'm gluten-free. but I'll have one. Bar me from nose. One more story. I can't find a damn story.

Is that an hour? But when you do the ads on top of it, that's going to be an hour, isn't it? True. Trimming down some things. You got coins? I'd love to see it. There's more coins down there.

There's a 10 cent on the table and then there's... These are from my grandparents' house fire. What? I'm sorry. I looked for... Thank you, but it was a long time ago. And anyway, it's the only thing interesting in my car. All right.

And I thought if I had nothing to say. We'll bring that to the page. I also have, I bought something for the museum. Maybe these can go in the museum as well. Starting a museum, we'll talk about that shortly as well. It's mostly we've got to focus on the market. Pull out a random bag and it might be interesting. All right.

All right. Catamaran hope. Is this just called Harry's? Yeah, Harry's Razors. Harry's Raises? Good thing I shaved today. Hello, folks. Here's the pot.

Well, I'll start now. No, no, I don't. All right, don't. All right, there we go. Put the gag on your mouth. Seriously. Fist's right in the gagger's mouth. I know you're going to talk.

Hello, everyone. Today's sponsor, all afternoon, is Harry's Razors. I forget looking down. Harry's Razors. This feels, this really feels dirty. It feels like... That's why I'm paying you to do it.

No, but it's like, it's a small camera. It's not like on the television. So not the commercialization in the abstract, but you're saying. Tell me a razor. Like usually it's like you pivot just the top half of your body to like, and now. And you know, you do the American cigarette bit. I think if we draw attention to it, it gets worse, it gets harder. So we just got just straight down the line.

All right, I'm just not going to care about what. And as recompense, I just don't get. I'll buy you a sandwich. I'm paying you a sandwich and they're paying me for this. Now it's no longer pro bono. Now it's buying me a sandwich. I'm buying you a sandwich if you do this. Well, Harry's razors are a very, very good razor.

I shave today and you know, you get your razor burn. You get those little Knicks. Harry's razors don't do that. They are smooth. And honestly, I do prefer them. Not because I cut myself this morning on my face, but because they are affected. We want to keep it to like a minute. Yeah, but then he's going to, he's about to do the cool and cool.

All right. Is this a riff section at the ad? All right. These poor businesses just laying their heart onto our table. And it's just, oh. Stop laughing, bro. I'm putting my work into this. Harry's razors are really good products.

Not just really good. They're damn good, if I may swear. And if I went for the fact that I already shaped it, I'd be using them. product because it's a good product because it will last a long time. Don't look at him, look at me, this thing here. I was made this way and I look even better with a Harry's razor. That's why we are, you know, we are endorsing Harry's razors because what else do you need

besides the top of the line razor which you can get an affordable price, not a cheap product. cheap product. A good price. Come on, call to action. Call to action. Now for a limited time only, our listeners and watches, because this is also going right at the TV, can get

the Harry's Plus trial set for only $10 at harries.com forward slash catamaran. This set includes all the new Harry's Plus razors, one refined five blade cartridge, two oz foaming shape gel, and a

trade and a travel cover to protect your blades on the go. Just head to once again harris.com forward slash catamaran to claim this offer. And after you purchase, they'll ask, were you heard about it? Just tell them. To support us and to obviously support them that you heard it right here on the James Notwood Forbes, McCann Catamaran Plan podcast. Thank you. Brilliant.

I got to get... Let's face the hands out. I got to get... smoother with it it's just it's going up here how do I get smoother with these ads Harry's raises it always gets the next one next one when it's at the end oh my god we got we're there yeah tick tick tock sandwich a clock Gadda brand US June better hell I'm a very sad lonely man that's why I use is it only two pages could you like croon these out you know

I feel like like Dean Martin kind of drunk or Frank I'm not gonna put my singing on yet and I'm gonna save that for when it's profitable I knew it was there the theme how to thrive this song a little bit about that like mental this sponsor is better help and we're brought to you no this sponsor is more is better help better help is a sponsor our sponsor and today I want to try and give you a little lesson better help is I can't Better help You're doing it I'm trying to make it

perfectly off the cuff It is Do it on cuff On the cuff On the cuff On the cuff Today's sponsor Right now's sponsor

Is BetterHelp Now Better Help And me included Is going to give a little lesson And how to thrive Not to survive To push forward

Taking the scenery Not just get not just to try to get to where you're going but to really take in the environment and how do you do that well we all need someone to talk to you're gonna have someone that you can take a little bit of your load off to that they'll hold it and they'll take it oh see hey let's do this just a call to action now call to action client reviews selling points mention any points you find compelling with only

With over 30,000 therapists, that's a lot of therapists. That's like all of our audience, plus more, a lot more. Just therapists. Better help. Better help is like they're more than capable of being able to help you. Help me, help you, help a soul in a way that improves your life. It doesn't, you know, cost an arm and a leg. And save your dignity.

and gives you back the self-respect that you may have lost. Probably didn't. Buried under a lot of unmoisterized skin. This bit has to be read as word for word or we get in trouble. Coul to action. Please read the following verbatim. Vibatim. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer.

Find support and therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash catamaran. That's better. H-E-L-P forward-slash No, H-E-L-P-D-C-C-T-C-O-C-R-R-N. Forward-S-Cat-M.

Please read above verb. I already did, then. Red flags, do not say. Oh, no, let's move on. Let's move on. Let's do that last one. Let's do that last one. Oh, I'd need to, like, something.

Hymns weight loss, weight loss. I'm definitely not the person for this. Podcast talking points. Suggesting. Mmm. Today's sponsor. Today feels weird. Feels like the start of an internet trade.

This has just be, well, we come to our sponsor segment. And this sponsor of today, over right now, is Hymns weight loss. You've got weight loss goals, don't we, old? Body goals. Shape, size, condition. But hitting them is another story. and a weight loss by hymns it's designed to support you in losing the weight and keeping it off and hymns now offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved glp dash one medications including the we govy pill wogovie pill and the wagovi pen

ain't that great and with wugavi you can lose up 20% or more of your body weight. When combined with diet and exercise, it helps you regulate your appetite and eat less. So success within reach and it is more guaranteed than ever. With the Wogavi pen and related Wagovie products, it is the first, is the first ever and only GLP 1-1-1 as low as ever price. Thank goodness for that. Oh, my God. This is thick stuff.

Oh, my God. Cold action. You don't have to be thick stuff with whatever this product is. Enough about the thickness. Let's talk about the thin aspects. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Ready to reach your goals. Here we go.

Visit hymns.com slash catamaran to get personalized, affordable plan that gets you. That's h-imms.com slash catamaran. Hems. com slash catamaran. Weight loss by Hymns is not available in all 50 states. Wagavi is the registered trademark of Novo Noorsk, AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wagavie clinical study information and restrictions, visit Hymns.com.

Not AU. Not AU. Yep. Come on, lads.