The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - S2 Ep21: Vitality

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

QUINCE: https://quince.com/catamaranThere are also episodes on the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/jdfmccann

Hey, did you hear? Watermelon is back at booster juice all summer long. Nice! I love the watermelon explosion. And the watermelon wave! Yep, they even got a new watermelon assaye bowl this year. The one in a melon bowl. And what does that sound like? Like that. Booster Juice, Canadian-born, blending since 1999. An inspirational portrait of a farmer's son who rises from humble beginnings to build a luxury fashion empire. Brunello, the gracious visionary, traces Brunello Cucinelli's life journey,

his commitment to craftsmanship, ethical values, and humanistic philosophy. Directed by Academy Award winner Giuseppe Tonatore, the film blends documentary and fiction, an intimate look at the Italian entrepreneur known as the King of Kashmir. See Brunello, the gracious visionary, in select theaters July 6th, July 6th. 24th. Well, hello there and welcome with the James Donald Fawkes-McCat-Barran plan. The back half of this podcast gets pretty... The start of this podcast remains to be seen. I am convalescing. I am in the state of convalescence.

To convales what a big nice, round, juicy one that is on the word front. What that bloody hell's going on there? Round juicy one. Oh, no, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine, it's fine, mine. I thought a shirtless man in a leather jacket was walking in front of my house, but he's wearing a skin-colored turtleneck. I thought he had no shirt with a leather jacket, but actually it's not even leather jacket.

Oh, and if he did want to do that, that would be fine, wouldn't it? Just a walk around shirtless with a leather jacket on. That's not why I moved to his neck. But he wasn't doing it. Excuse me, I'm convalescing. It means I have been sick, and I still am. I'm convalesing. Yes, it's true.

I'm convalescing. How about you? and the previous attempts at recording the podcast all sort of dissing... I mean, I've taken some of the other bits of... You'll see it, it's fine, there's a poem, there's a commercial, there's a song. Oh, big things happening in the world.

Dear sweet, James Donald Forbes, McCann, Cannamaran, plan listener. I'll give you an update. And the update is this. We're working on the movie. That I think will be my... I could be wrong. I could be making a flop, but we're making a movie. I mean, we're really making it.

We're actually making a feature. film. I think there has to be a feature film now on the account of us making one. Whether or not it's good is a whole other thing. Yeah, I'm directing a feature film and I've worked myself to sickness and now I'm recovering. I slept for several days and the important thing is we're here now. The World Cup has got a little bit left to run and I've been following the scores. I've stopped watching the games some time ago. It's not a good time zone for me to watch the games. I'll tell you the games I am watching. The Pride of South Australia, the Mighty Adelaide, Croh. I know you're a big crows.

You listen to this podcast from overseas. You're a big crows fan. You listen to Australia. There's a chance you're a crow fan. You're going to be a gross of it. Crowies. You know, we're having a... It's a beautiful text being rested this week.

Dad's going to come overnight. We're going to watch the... Take us on the 20s, the second highest ranked team in the competition. And we don't need to win. We don't need to win to be a real team. You know, if we could put in a manful display as we play Sydney away, That would be enough. That would be enough.

I mean, to win would really, we'd really get the chest puffed out at that point. We'd say, the lids off. This is the team. These are the boys. This is the future. Yeah. But that can also be quite, that can be probably bad for being the future is to know and feel that you are the future. How do you like that?

How do you feel about that? What do you think about that? Now, look, the podcast, honestly, this week. Is it up to scratch? Is it up to scratch? Well, who's to say where the scratch is? I say the scratches where the it is. Well, this is.

Introductions. Maybe we'll just get on with the rest of the podcast, and then at the end of the song, I'll keep talking again. All right. And I'll let you know. Here's a little problem. I'll let you know that the next few sections of the podcast were recorded in the bath a few days ago. I thought I could do a bath cast, and it was no good. Anyway, here's here.

Oh, and also, anyone watching the visual thing will be going, well, where is you? Why don't want people to see me in the bath or in my dilapidated state? So I'm using the, what's it called, the editing? software. I'm learning how to use the editing software. So you get me and some stock footage and some editing software. Well, let's begin. All right. Not bossy after the song. Anyway, but first the poem and then the commercial. All right. Do you have vitality? How alive are you really? Are you becoming more alive or have you already started to die?

Have you already died and not noticed it yet? What do you do to others? What effect do they experience when they are in your presence? Are you a font or are you a sponge? Are you smooth locomotion or a woman on the tracks? When you die, will the people around you regard that as a tragedy? Or a blessed convenience. Do you have vitality? Is it possible to get more vitality?

Or do you have a certain amount stored up when you're born and it just keeps on leaking out of you. Do you have a certain amount of things to do before it kills you, or do you have a certain amount of time to do all the important things in? A certain amount of songs to write. A certain amount of novels. A certain amount of goals to kick. A certain amount of orgasms.

Does love come from vitality, or does vitality come from love? Or is there no meaningful connection between two admittedly, nebulous concepts. Why is a young and violent man absolutely beautiful? Why is a young man incapable of violence suspect in the extreme? Why a middle-aged man and old men disgusting, regardless of their capacity for violence? Where there is no vitality, there are no children. Having children also robs you of your vitality, at least in the short term. In the short term, you've gone for decades. and if another child comes through the countdown to sleeping through the night again resets, the wrong job will sap your vitality.

Not having a job will sap you of your vitality. But if a man has the right job and plays the game as hard as he can, he will experience profound vitality. And in the joy of playing the game hard, the man may collapse and die. If not die, crack up. It has happened. I have seen it. But materialism is the reasonable answer to maintaining vitality. Reasonable answers are poisonous to vitality.

Vitality is an unreasonable question. Health is virtuous. Does this mean that being sick is a crime? Maybe it does. Beauty is virtuous. Does this mean that being plain or ugly is a crime? Maybe it does? Intelligence is virtuous, but it is more difficult to quantify.

under fire than health and beauty. So stupidity is not a crime. Stubility is a political designation. The vital man is not perfect, but he's got the time and the energy and the means and inclination to go back and hide his imperfections. Do you have vitality?

A certain number of orgasms. Does love come from vitality, or does vitality come from love? A young and violent man is absolutely beautiful. Why? play the game as hard as you like you will collapse and die Vitality is an unreasonable

question Vitality hides its imperfections You are a sponge You are a hindrance Your death will be regarded as a blessed convenience Your death will result in people getting things done And the people who love having more fun The vitality you possess is a stolen

Vitality Vampyric Gross Cruel and unusual My vitality is a gift from God. Get out of our way. And now some words from our sponsors. One thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels.

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slash catamaran for free shipping and 365-day returns who wins.com slash canaran It's not sure your father still love you Hi, I'm doing the podcast Do you have a minute? I'm about to go on stage in like 10 5 is a great amount for pod

What do you need? Well, I don't know I've, it's one of the worst ones I've done in a while, just because I've been unwell. Your podcast? Yeah, do you have any razzle-dazzle you can bring? Oh, God, I don't think so. I think I'm shitting myself. You know what's fucked up?

I have something I've been thinking about. Okay. Because there's that diarrhea going around, you heard of it? I don't know. I've had it. I had it on a mountain and I lost a pair of socks and underpants, and I had to get the children not to look. Sox is really an emergency because that, it's. that indicates the level of, like, liquidity?

What's the word? Yes, much like my finances, there was an excess of liquidity. Like, you diarrhea and yourself. I diaried. Everybody, the American attitude right now, it's like, oh, my God, like, I don't know if I have diarrhea. And I just feel like as a Jew who, like, is 100% certain that I always have diarrhea, I just feel a little bit pissed off at everybody that they're being so quaint about. it you know what I mean imagine how the Africans who are dying feel poor Africans and

we cannot keep liquid down this is ravaged out of the large mm did Jews are Jews known for their diarrhea yes yes yes my friend of my Benton's mom to Benson was like I think I saw Ruby's friend say that slavery's not real oh is that me it was that Eve it's you it's so difficult to like new to the people of my life. My poem, my poem about W.E.B. De Bois. No, the point of it was that Honolulu is lovely.

And that's what I told her. Although that's... That's what I did agree. Apparently people... Hey, honey, I got Ruby on the pod, but people think my poem was about me not thinking slavery was real. Not people. My boyfriend's mother. Yes, but if your boyfriend's mother thinks that, then I

think other people must also think and feel that. Yeah, she's a good indication of the broader. Dang it. I went on stage last night to do the new material type show. And I think a lot of people didn't understand. Oh, very bad. Very bad.

You'll do great tonight, though, Ruby. I believe in you. There's 300 people here for me at the Tempeum Broad. Oh, this is your headline show. 300 people showed up for Ruby. I understand. I understand. I'm very proud of you.

Love you very much. We love you, Ruby. Wow, that's so great. Ruby's selling 300 people. That's so good. Good on her. Hello, Paul. You're on the podcast. How are you? Oh, very well. We're really making a movie. It's a good time.

It's a great time when you're healthy. Can you hear, I'm on antibiotics now? I'm roaring back to health. It's wonderful. Let's just keep you going on the antibiotics for the whole shoot, I think. You found a horse? I found a horse. I found three wonderful horses. They're all in rehab. Okay. One's an ex race horse, one of the trotters. You take the little things on the back, you know.

A little guy on the back of his little two-wheeling cart. I don't know what they're called. Chariot. And yeah, yes, the one. And with little spikes on the wheels, you know, to take out Ben Hur. Greece. Have you seen the Christopher Nolan movie yet? I have not seen it yet.

No, but I've been listening to the rest of his history talk about. Oh, me too. Me too. I'd forgotten that there were. I'd forgotten that he was twice as sex slave to Circe and Calypso. It's rather a big part of it. Well, Tom seems to think that was just what happened to everyone back then. They sort of chuckle through it, don't they?

They're very clear about that. Yeah. But yes, exciting. You haven't seen it, I'm guessing. I've not seen it. Maybe when I'm healthy, we could go and see it. Let's do it. Let's pretend like we're there at the opening night.

I'll talk to you soon. I love you, Paul. Love you, too. Get well. All righty. And hold on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

It's the next call now. It's Lily. Lily, you're on the podcast. Yeah, you're legit. Hold on. Yes, you're legitimately on the podcast. So this is how you finally get me on the podcast. We always wanted to come on the podcast.

Surprise phone call. Yeah. Is that a bad way to do the... I think I figured out the audio. I'm holding the phone up to the microphone. Yeah. You are a wildly successful comedian. He doesn't know technology.

I do know technology. I'm hip to it. I'm hip to the tech. Where are you now? Where are you in the world? I'm in California right now, visiting my parents. How? And you said you were quitting comedy,

but I see you've got a new tour that I'm now facilitating promotion. I quit comedy for three months, and then I missed it dearly, so I'm back, and I'm stronger than ever. And I noticed you're Olivia Rodrigo coding the poster. yeah look at that i've i've been listening to the album oh yeah i love olivia i think i love

whichever 50 year old scandinavian men she's got on board to help out because yeah you are a supporter of older men listen i lady gaga is doing her own shit for sure you know taylor swift He's doing her own stuff, for sure. Lord has people coming and helping her. But increasingly, as her work gets worse, I'm sure that she's doing it herself. But Olivia Rodrigo, I listened to that back. I think she might be allowed to contribute some of the lyrics.

But there's just no way. I like that you appreciate when there's a team behind someone. I love a strong thing. And when you think it's just a woman on her own, you go, this is shit. I'm not as interested. No, I think, I feel like, I went back, I listened to the Lord albums one at a time, and you can really hear the Jack Antonov album in there.

You know? Yeah. You can really hear the Jack Antonov coming through loud and clear with all the songs about. Rest in peace. No, are we all anti-Jack Antonov because of the unpleasantnesses? Yeah, well, he apparently cheated on his beautiful wife. No. And they're getting a divorce.

No. Margaret, what's her name? Quali? No. She's so beautiful. I know. The most beautiful, some might say. Jack Antonov? No. No, I didn't know. No matter what, James, it doesn't matter how unattractive a man is. He tastes success. He cheats on his wife. That's just what happened. How dare you?

I am so utterly faithful. And I have, you think I'm not, you're saying I'm not successful enough. You see? Yeah. Oh no, it's all right. You were merely calling me a failure. Don't worry about it.

It's fine. You are a successful comedian, but you are not Jack Antonoff successful. And you know that. I loathe Jack Antonoff and his slop. music churning the same hole every time i hear something you go hi that's really good this fucking jack antonoff and the same Sabrina carpenter music he's i could go on and on about the man i watched that taylor swift documentary and i realized that he was very good at dealing with

narcissistic women and that's how he gets all the jobs yeah yeah he knows how to play them you you insult them in a way that shows you've really been paying attention and and you know what's important to them. So he goes for Taylor's where he goes, Taylor is a perfectionist and it drives us all mad. How devoted she is to the work. And she's giggling and going, oh, yes. Yes, that is a problem for me. No, he's a mastermind. I can't. We can't. We could all learn from Jack Antonell. I didn't. Look, I never knew. I never knew they were splitting up. Yeah, it's, it's pretty recent. Um, but I'm surprised you haven't heard about it. I've been sick.

Yeah, you sound a little sick. I am sick. This is me. I'm just calling everybody on my phone. And I'll have you know you are one of the higher rated guests. Lily Michelle. Big show coming up. Anything you'd like to shout out about this war in Iran?

Oh, brother. The war in Iran. Well, did you hear that J.D. Vance called every Iranian. a terrorist. He makes a good point. Some of them just emotional terrorists. No, he doesn't. James.

What? James. What? No. The war in Iran is awful. When I walk around Los Angeles and I see those guys with gold makeup, what are that big gold necklaces? They're big gold Iranian necklaces.

I think that's terrorism to the eyes. What do you mean, J.D. Van said all Iranians are terrorists. He went on the Joe Rogan podcast, as you do, as Vice President. And he just talked a bunch of bullshit. And, I mean, the government is full of terror. It's terrible. That government needs to go. Lady Vance alleges Israeli officials try to keep US in.

Well, that's up. Yeah. Go to hell. I can't see this quote. I'm looking for this quote. He seems to be anti-Israel. You'll love that. You hate the Israel.

You're very anti-Israel. I'm very anti. You know, I've been called a Zionist the past couple months, too. You know, you get called all sorts of things on social media. I do. I get called all of them. It's great. But you'll be, we support Lily Michelle, and we support her big upcoming tour.

And we send all our love to the people of Persia. That's what we call it here on the James Donald Fools McCann, Catamaran plan. Yeah. Wait, how long have you been sick? Dazed, Lily. I'm on antibiotics now. No, it's no good. It's no good.

Lily Michelle, everybody. Talk soon. Are you, are you, can you tell my dates? I'll be in Austin, August 12th. I'll be in Portland, September 10. And that's it. Wait, you have two shows? I'll be at the Joke World Festival.

Oh, you're doing the Joke World Festival. Use Code Lily for 10% off. Ah! These are my three dates. Use code Lily for 10%. sent off at the joke world festival. You've got to add a fourth show. That's not. What about on the way? You can't have something in between Austin and Portland?

I would love to, but right now they don't know. They don't think I can sell tickets. So they're giving me these like one-off shows. Prove them wrong, Lily. Literally nothing. Activate the diaspora. We believe in Lily Michelle. Lennie Michelle, Austin, Portland. I'll get the diaspora. Key West. Diaspora of the Cape now.

Is it Key West? But yeah, it's the beginning of me. It's in St. Pete. The beginning of me. Isn't that? This is the beginning of me. I think that's in you, Olivia Rodrigo song. God bless you, Lily Michelle.

And warm wishes from the catamaran plan. Okay. Eve Ellen Bogan, you're on the podcast. I'm calling everybody, but only women are picking up. Ruby picked up, Lily picked up, you picked up, Paul picked up, Amos won't pick up. That's because you're only friends with single women. It's not true. Married or engaged men and women.

That's not true. You're right. I have so many friends, but we are trying to branch out on the pot. I've just been convulsing and I feel weak. Did you get, did you record the beginning when I said hello like that? Oh, I was all stuffed it up. I stuffed it all up. Oh, my God.

And you're moving to Nashville tomorrow or today? I've already driven halfway, more than halfway. I'm currently at an Airbnb in Arkansas. How's that? It's good. Have you stopped in Texarkana? Yeah, I did not stop in Texarkana this time. I drove through Texarkana, and this time I said to it,

I'm better than you. I'll never stay there again. Where are you? I'm right out of the Little Rock, Arkansas. Wow. Yeah, I know. So tomorrow I have another five and a half hours. Today I had, I drove for almost eight hours.

And you know what? I thought of you because I always drive for like five or six hours max. And you said to me, you're going too easy on yourself. You are going too easy. You are going too easy. I believe in the Eve Ellen Bogan who drives too much, too hard and kill. people. That's an edge of eight.

Almost eight. That's pretty good, right? You're getting there. We're all working so hard. I'm sick. I'm convalescing. And I absolutely ran out of things to say in the podcast. I'm just, I tried to call you earlier, but you didn't answer.

I want you to know. Well, then I literally called you back a second. Like, I saw your call. My phone doesn't vibrate. I think I've done something wrong to it. It weren't vibrate. Okay. I know you've done wrong to it.

You switched from an Apple phone. Now you have like an android. I can't have this anti-android propaganda on the podcast. All right. Fine. I'm a big believer. So how's the convalescent going? Yeah, I did a show last night and I was shitty.

And then I worried that the audience thought I was going to get them sick. But I didn't want to cancel the show. Like, what do you do? You just take drugs and power through, right? Yeah, yeah. And you get a couple people sick and then you blame them for their choices. I also think it's weird that people get mad that they could get sick. I think when you live in the world, the chances are that at some point you will get sick

because that's how life, literal life works. Sometimes we get sick. Well, think about how intimate that is, how very intimate. I mean, you people want, you know, the meat and greet. How about my microbes being inside of them? How about that? Yeah, exactly. Oh, you want to buy a shirt?

How about you get my disease? How about catch my microbes? disease, Ben Lee. Anyway. You know what I'm watching right now. Muriel's Wedding. Muriel's Wedding. Yeah, you know, it's one of my favorites.

Yes, my dad used to joke that, you know, that the English programs in Australia in high schools were getting so bad that one day they'd be studying Muriel's wedding. And then a few years later, they did indeed begun, they began studying Muriel's wedding as, you know, as a...

Bruce Wedding's a really good movie. I'm sure. I mean, what was that? Tony... Tony Colette. Tony Colette. And I forgot her name, the other one who's in the... She's really good. She's in Six Feet Under.

Oh, the only thing I know about Six Feet Under it is the show that discovered Sea. Sea had a song in Six Feet Under. It's over the series finale is that song. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's literally in the last scene, which goes on for the whole length. of the song is it considered a very important i just i just read it on wikipedia i never knew it is considered then i mean this it is considered one of the best season finale's of any show wow and it's all thanks to adelaide's own see ya she's her adelaide she's an adelaide girl

i had not a clue not one clue i thought that she was british if anything no it's that weird voice she's oh, a lot of last day what's the song that's how we'll talk you look at

I had to try to talk again I got your skin a lot of 901 991

910 her and it makes so much sense I saw um chandelier

in somebody's show in Australia yeah Zoe Coombs Mar did a show that ended with her

um reenacting the video for Chandelier in the Melbourne Comedy Festival. It was good, but everybody went crazy. And I guess it's because Cia is an adult, as like an Australian bride person. Well, we don't, yeah, I think to a, we don't really get around her properly

because she blew up in America. Like there are people who are like, Australian people, Australian icons. We love them. Savage Garden. We love the Veronica's, whatever. Another band I did not know as Australian. Savage Garden. I could, yeah, I had no idea.

Oh yeah. I could tell you every single lyric, every single word to the moon and back. I could, like, you could wake me from a-a-man-man-a-man-man-a-chichichichicajaricola. That one I don't know, but the other one, she's taking her time, making up for reasons. I was in. Man, it might actually also have been Arkansas, because I was doing a drive across the country. and I came to a Wendy's and I had to go and use the facilities

at the Wendy's You need to go blow out their toilet I had to go blow out of the shitter and a Wendy's In the middle of the country And I'm just there going like What the fuck? I'm not doing here And I heard as I was taking a shit

Savage Garden who I did not know Had made it in America I didn't know that was a I just thought that was a big hit here As with so many Australian songs You don't know which ones leak out into the states as I was leaking out into a Wendy's toilet and I remember I came out I cleaned myself up and I came out into the foyer of the Wendy's I don't know if that's the

official term when there was like a cool like tall black guy with long dreadlocks working behind the counter at the Wendy's really like a photo negative image of the Wendy's girl there and I said you know Savage Garden I hadn't ordered anything I just a guy came and used to say savage you know about savage gun he's like yeah man I went oh it's a great country and I walked out and uh I wonder if that was as meaningful to him as it was

to me it was a huge day for me that's funny I also find it funny that you so casually throw in there that you had to clean yourself up after take it I mean it makes it sound like you've shit yourself have a white no there's been too much these too much too much of these uh I've been going to the doctor I'm figuring out

I'm figuring out what's going on inside of me it's some of this is surfaced on too many of the calls. Ruby says that there's diarrhea traveling all around America and also that Jews get diarrhea more often. Is that true? Oh, my God. I hate how Ruby claims to know about Jews whenever she's just, whenever she's not a Jew when the Germans come. But anytime she's arguing about Israel committing a genocide, she's like, as a Jew. And so I just resent her claiming that we get diarrhea more.

How does she fucking know? But she's probably right. I think. choose to get diarrhea more. You heard that from the source. I don't really get that. I'll tell you the truth, I really don't get diarrhea. Can't know it. No more diarrhea talk. Eve Ellen Bogan, we've loved having you on the pod.

All right. Wait. I was going to say, I'm ripping through people. I want you to congratulate me for today. I left Austin, Texas. And it was so hard to get out. Like, I mean, I had to drive. You think that you had a hard time,

moving out of America, you got to just get on a plane with your family and some suitcases. I stayed behind. I fucking cleaned at your house. Have you ever had to clean out your own apartment and drive away? It's brutal. You shouldn't do it. I'm a big believer in getting Eve to do it for you. And I think you've made a great choice in doing the exact same thing. But with yourself. I'm so happy. Look, I'm proud of you. I think you're onto brighter pastures now in Nashville. Tennessee and everybody have you got any shows coming up that you'd like to plug I've got a bunch of shows but I don't know when any of the dates are they're all in Nashville I'm I'm hosting for Nick Murphy this week I might give me a week I might give

Nick Murphy a call give Nick Murphy a call I'll give Nick Murphy a call round out the podcast tell him tell him I said my love he'll get really weirded out all right talking to you soon love yeah I hope your diarrhea clears out all right bye bye hold on hold on hold on can you hear me I can hear you James, yes. Nick Murphy's on the podcast. Nick Murphy, everybody. I'm on the podcast? Yes, Nick Murphy, return guest.

Nick Murphy, where in the world are you? How are you doing? I'm in my car. I'm in Austin. You know, and Eve just told me that you're letting her open the show for you, and while that is a huge risk, I just wanted to say I was proud of you. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I like to be able to dig out of a hole, you know. That's how you get better. thought she really improved over the last year. I always thought she was great, but I think she's become consistent. And she, you know, she values you. She came to me and she said, Nick Murphy said I was getting good. She said that. You said that?

I said that. I said that. It doesn't sound like Nick Murphy to give someone an unambiguous compliment. I don't even believe that I said that. I don't think that's, I don't think that came for me. Well, maybe I'm misremembering. Are you happy? You're on the pod now.

Have you got anything you'd like to promote? You got shows in Nashville coming up. You're full of joy? Am I actually on the podcast? Or are you doing like a bit? No, you're really on the podcast now. I had nothing to say. I was sick and I'm getting better.

So this is a very low effort podcast for me this week. I'm sorry. What art? Yeah, I'm in my room calling people. Hey, you must have called like a roster, you know. To get to you? I like you, Nick Murphy. I was going to say, well, yeah, what number?

How many people did you call before you got them? to Nick Murphy. How many other people were on the pod before? I wish Nick Murphy had given me a damn call when I was in Austin early this year. All I do is reach out and try and be friends with Nick Murphy. Nick Murphy saps my hand away. You haven't reached hand of friendship. See, but you could have, yeah, but you're the bigger name, James. So really, if you text me, that's more of a, I mean, you see how quickly I just called you back.

You took my spot as filling guest on Stuff Island. Don't think I didn't notice that you're missing. to stuff island now and if you watched my like two episodes ago i mean i'm on there all the time now but if you asked me i don't know it's two or three ago i i tried to address it i tried to address that you also could have called me you could reach out them to me you know there's not i didn't know i was that important there's only love there's only love there's only love i i i appreciate how hard you're deviating from answering my question of how many people you call I am

genuinely no no I think you might actually you might have cracked top five how does that feel I'll take that you should yes you never cool making a hoop like no I appreciate that

oh yeah so next next Thursday which is the 23rd I met Zanis in the lab with with special guest

Eve Ellen Bogan is going to be there Huge news. Huge stuff there. And are you, are you, are you feel happy? You feel strong? I feel good. I like it out here.

I like Austin. I think I'm going to resign my lease. How's that for a news break? That's going to be all over TMZ after I just told you that on your podcast. I don't know where I'm going to be. I think they're not letting me renew my lease at my house in Adelaide. And I'm finding it pretty hard to develop new material. Did you back out here?

I'm struggling. I need you back out here, James. As a stand-up, I'm really struggling. I got one new bit last night. which I don't think it's, you know. How, you reckon Jared's keeping the weight off? Subway Jared, you reckon he's staying slim? Oh, is that the bit?

Yeah. You're trying it on me now. It's because he lost all that weight with walking and subway sandwiches, and he's lost access to both. Yeah, that's funny. There's nothing. I'm disgusted in myself. It's all that.

I can't do it. anymore. I like the energy switch you did. That sounded a little like Dane Cookish. You know, if you pace the stage, maybe. Do you like an act out? This is why I'm you're a nasty. You're a nasty one. You're so nasty. This is why you're number five on the call sheet. I realized only women were answering. I'm glad you've called as will. I'm glad you've answered. You've picked up the call. Yeah, I'm in the car and then I'm going to go back downtown. Oh, you're in the downtown now?

I'm getting ready to be, yes. My hardcore demo, did you run into a hardcore demo? Hardcore what? Hardcore Damo, an Australian who was in Austin, did you meet him? I believe he's blown up online by buying marijuana gummies

and handing them out to the homeless. That was his, that was how he broke the social media algorithm. He's just going up to homeless people and giving them weed and mushroom gummies. and uh that's how i i started a bit i started doing a bit about the guy that shoots increasing caliber bullets at random objects to see which go through i love that guy how many cast iron pots everybody knows about i have a bit about him now that i like what is it you want to share any of it

i'm not no because i'm gonna you know i'm gonna do it the shows i want people wow keeping it close to the chest much like a man being protected by cast iron pans being shot at with the bull with the cow the cow is the last one he shoots yeah my my particular one is is about the shovels it's the shovel the uh many shovels all right well you don't want to share your bit and i respect that nick murphy that's at nick murphy on instagram at the nick murphy comedy one on instagram wait we got a fix why is it We got to fix your You got to deal with that honk

That's an aggressive honk You're getting honked at a third time I'm hanging up I'm hanging up I'm hanging up I'm hanging up I'm hanging up