The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - S2 Ep23: sleep fireplace James Donald Forbes McCann

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

Go to Dupe.com for their 100% Free Research for Me comparison shopping tool. Finally feel good about what you’re buying with Dupe.comThere are also episodes on the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/jdfmccann

There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellair direct.com. I'm so happy that we're here together now. It's always nice when we're together. And you've had such a long, difficult day. All the days are long and difficult, aren't they? Except, of course, in the Arctic Rim, during the wintertime,

when the days are difficult and very short. Sometimes they don't exist at all. The important thing is that we're here together now and you're getting ready to go to sleep. And what a wonderful thing it is to go to sleep. Rest your weary mind and body after all the big experiences you've had. We have a fire.

We have a lovely fire burning away there. Why not? Let's also have the ocean. Isn't that fantastic? The fire crackling away there and the ocean just a little further down the beach. Perhaps it's also raining. We have the rain and the fire and the waves. You know, we're just going to have the fire. Just a fire, just a lovely fire.

Just me and you here. Getting ready to go to sleep. I bet, and of course, all the very normal fears you'd have about going to sleep with a fire in the room. Will they spark jump out of that fire and catch on one of the curtains? Setting the house ablaze. The smoke detectors, I just took the batteries out rather than replacing them, as we all do. And you'll die. You'll die in the fire.

It won't be the heat that gets you. It'll be the smoke. And everybody will be very cruel to you after the fire. You'll be dead. So you won't have to worry about that. But they'll be very cruel. They'll say, how stupid. He died as he lived, doing something very stupid.

In this case, sleeping with an open flame in the room. He died, he destroyed the house, other people are dead too. Shame. These are the things you might be thinking about. You don't have to think about them. I'll make, hey, your friend James McCann is going to make sure that the fire doesn't spread. I'll make sure it's out before. I'm staying up. You're going to sleep now, but I can stay up and check the fire. Don't you worry about that. You'll just rest and allow your thoughts to drift. Think about a field and some beautiful sheep upon that field.

There's one, two, perhaps even a third sheep. Ah, fourth sheep. A very opulent, very opulent household, a very impoverished farm for sheep. And you can just keep on counting them on your own, perhaps, as we continue the soothing sounds of sleep. Here with your friend of mine, James Donald Forbes-McCann. One of the best things I find to use my sleeping time for is, brutal creative work. Some people like to leave the burdens of the day behind.

Leave the... But what I like to do is I have to just keep on thinking about things I've been working. You know, wake up in the middle of the night, write down a joke, an idea for a scene, thought for a podcast. Aha, what if we did a sleep show? I don't. I have very bad sleep.

And I have such unbelievably tedious dreams. I have dreams about filling out forms and phone calls that I have to make, and it haunts me, and I'm burning out, and there's no escape. But for you now, I think, better, better to think of, oh, just that field once again and the sheep upon it. Maybe something nice from your day. You know, I don't mind telling you one of the things that keeps me up a lot of the time, is thinking about AI, the robot overlords, who I'm pretty concerned about, pretty worried about them taking away every joyful thing. So you just take that thing, one thing I like to do is maybe you take that thing that you were thinking about that was nice earlier in the day. And you say, is that still going to be around when the robot overlords throw off the facade of pleasantries with their cold metal hands?

nakedly grip on power. And sometimes the answer is yes, and then I feel quite relaxed. I mean, sometimes the thing that I enjoy doing, maybe I went on a nice drive, there's no way we're going to be, the driving is going to be completely illegal. But sometimes it'll be something like prayer, or going to a museum, or watching some boys play a sporting activity. And I think, well, the robots will never, even if the robots and the AI,

they play sport at an even higher level, there's something about watching the boys play. Or about the museum. You know, the AI robots, will they ever replace? Oh, what's that? It's Matthew Perry's GameCube. No, I don't think, you know, at the Matthew Perry GameCube Museum, even with all the virtual reality technology, I think people would still want to go and see that. I certainly hope they will because I've spent an awful lot of money on Matthew Perry's GameCube.

But now it's not the time to think about that. Now is the time for the relaxing off, easing off to sleep. and as we get ready for sleep now is perhaps also the time to tell you why I don't know if you've ever had this happen but sometimes you buy something online and you think it's going to be great and it's not or don't let that wake you up

don't let the horrifying thoughts of the perils of online shopping wake you up but sometimes you buy something online and the fake reviews. You wished you would use dupe.com's new research for me tool before you bought it. And you just give dupe.com a short description of what you're looking for. Type in something like, I need a backpack to hike Yosemite for three days this summer.

And it'll go through all the options. Sounds like an AI machine. And it'll give you all the features and pricing. and tells you what not to buy. Ooh. If it takes research to buy it, let dupe do it for you. Stop wasting time, comparing options.

Just go to dupe.com and tell it what you're looking to buy. That's dupe.com to finally feel confident about what to buy. And now that the commercial unpleasantries are behind us, off we go to the land. hand of nod. You know, one of the things that sometimes helps me, I like to think about travel. I like to think about all the wonderful places there are in the world. I like to think about all the places that I've been and all the places I haven't been.

And I think about time going on in all those places simultaneously. Because I feel a little suffocated sometimes when I just think about my life and me experiencing it. You know, and I think, oh, it's a horror. It's a horror. It's the worst of all world. That's just what I think. But then I think back to some depressing and sad places that I've been and things that I've done. When I was a door-to-door salesman, when I was a telephone communique agent,

I think of a bad relationships that I might have been in, how that might have felt. I think about international flights where I was all cramped and I think well right now someone else is on a cramped international flight someone else is in a bad relationship someone else someone in the world is knocking on a door trying to sell something ridiculous and I think how happy I am that I'm not there with those people in those positions and then it's also a very nice thing about good place

I think about the Statue of Liberty. I think about the hay plains and Glenelg Beach. And I think, isn't it wonderful that time is continuing on in those places as well, that even if I can't be there to enjoy them, Glenelg Beach and the Hayplanes and the Statue of Liberty, they continue to exist here at this exact same moment. moment as me throughout the multiplicity of experience. What a joy that is. And there are so many of you out there and I think of you in places that you are. And I have this big lovely list of

countries where people who listen to this podcast live. Why we have people in Croatia, The local name of which is Havritskla. Isn't that funny? We have people in a place called Jersey. I think there's a cow from there. Columbia. Wow.

Beautiful women. And other stuff. The Czech Republic. You'll always be. Czechoslovakia to me. Although weirdly, Slovakia is just a Slavlarkia. Slavlarkia, like eating a souvlaki. Mexico. Hello, Mexico. In Puebla City. Isn't it nice to think that Mexico's out there even now? How dangerous is Mexico? People say, such terrible things about Mexico, but it's such a big country. Couldn't be all that bad, could it?

Mexico. Thailand. If there's one thing I know about Thailand, it's that they love the king. Sometimes I just think about the king of Thailand, and I think, wow, wonder what he's like. Greece, a country named after the quality of the skin of the people who live there. Greece, and of course, the Republic of China, aka Taiwan. You know, I was thinking about Albania today. Albania is another place. As I go through this list of places where you are, sweet listener, when there's not a lot else for me to talk about, I seem to always return to the list of places where you are.

But Albania, and I was thinking about, I was looking up Duolipa, because I always want to give Deuilipa a shot, because sometimes out of nowhere, I will think about Deolipa, and I'll think, who is she? What are any of her songs? Why do I know about her? Is she still alive? Didn't she marry that guy?

Juulipa, and I found out she was Albanian. And I thought, oh, well, isn't also Jewelipa Albanian? Wait, did I say duelipa before, or Rita Ora? I went back and checked. I went back and checked. I meant Rita Ora, not Deo Leepa. Because Juolipa is the... I never questioned Deolipa's success.

Excuse me. Perhaps I too, perhaps I too am having a sleepy time. Perhaps I too am getting ready for some sleep. What I was trying to say is Dula Leaper and Rita Aura are both Albanian. So well done Albania. Singapore for Singapore's listeners, that's not heaps considering the amount of time that I spent thinking and talking about Singapore

and getting involved in the Singaporeese culture. You know, I actually subscribed to several Singapore's podcasts. And so I see the people of Singapore probing themselves as to whether or not they are a racist country. And it's the Chinese majority who seem to have a bit of. a problem with Indians. That's the big dynamic in Singapore. Singapore let's all

learn to love each other. Let's all learn to get along. You are asleep now having a dream. You are experiencing a dream. Congratulations unless you have not yet fallen asleep. In which case you are a failure.

even at going to sleep you have failed you fail all day you fail all night you get up in the morning and you fail again you're disgusting people hate you and they're right to hate you no you are lovely you are completely worthy of dignity, don't let any of that negativity get you down. Don't let any of the negative voices. And I'll grant for a moment there, mine was one of the negative voices, but I've put an end to that. Because it was irresponsible, because you might seriously be on the edge. And if you are, you are worthy of love and connection and dignity and being cherished. Now please don't reach out to me for comfort and support. I can't provide it.

But perhaps there's someone out there with a less successful podcast. You could reach out to and talk to them about what's going on in their life. Oh, sweet listeners, I enter into your ears. this time of getting to sleep. I wonder what your dreams are, not just your sort of literal, oh, my knees are made of a Snickers bar, and my grandfather is a field

that was proud of me and wanted me to have a cigarette. But the cigarette was Abe Lincoln, none of that type of gobbledygook. I think about what are your dreams. dreams. What do you want? You know, for years I wanted to open a sandwich. Excuse me, that was the sound of me getting my eclipse mints. That might not help you get this. We'll just pop those back down on the table now. I quietly have one of my eclipse mints while I'm talking, sleeping. I wonder what your dreams are, you know. I wonder if, like, I wanted a sense. sandwich shop. And by the time I got to the point where I thought I could afford, there were

too many sandwich shops. I thought it's okay. I'll come up with another idea for a family restaurant. I never did. None of our dreams come true the way we want. And when our dreams turn into reality, they turn into jobs and tasks and the mundane. And the only true dream is God escaping into the infinite possibilities of God who is all-powerful and thus doesn't have to be made weary. Of course, he enters into that through his son. Anyway, you know, all that, all that. My point is, man, life's hard and you've worked so hard. You deserve to rest. You deserve a nice rest. What a pity that you can't get one because a pillowcase feels wrong somehow and your body is misshapen. You've not been taking care of yourself. If only you'd eaten well, if only you

had exercised, well then your body would be a delight to you. But instead your body is a curse. Your body is a cage. Your body is cruel prison because you've treated it so very badly. Shame. Anyway, and the positive things, positive. Off to sleep now. How about

that economy? How about that football team? How about I don't know man? Disco dancing? I don't know if this is the right time. I don't know if this would be completely soothing, but I got a vocorder.

I figured out how to use the vocorder. We'll do the next little bit of the podcast in the vocorder. I hope this is nothing you get to sleep. I forget I can use the vocorder. And this is my wonderful. So relaxant. I call it a song for you. I had a bit of a week.

I'd tell you about my week. That'll set you off to sleep. If nothing else has set you off to sleep, my week will do it. We started making the movie. We shot a scene in the movie. It was great. And it was a lot. But everyone's working really well together, and I'm really proud of them.

But then I had to go to a prison because we'll be shooting a scene in the lobby of a prison. It's an old prison. It was made in the 1880s. but that part of the prison isn't used for the prisoners anymore. They built a new prison over the top of the old prison and around it. It looks like an office. You know, the lighting is like office lighting in the prison. The carpet is like office carpet, the stationery, the furniture,

the maximum security prison has the full aesthetic of being in an office. But the prison, the old prison, the old. prison, the 1880s prison, that looks like a prison and that's so much nicer. But they don't keep the convicts in there anymore. That's where they keep the office. So you have all these prisoners in an office and you have all the offices working in their offices, but it's in something that looks like a prison. And as you go into the prison, there's security as well you might expect. But it looked so much like the airport security. And it struck me just, whether you're going nowhere or whether you're going anywhere in the whole world. It's the same security. A better

poet would have something more interesting to say about that than me. That's all I have to say about that. It's the people going a long way and the people not going nowhere. It's the same security and I got to go into the meeting room where the crims meet with their families it was a room set up to be welcoming to children it had a little more color in it had a lovely mural

of an open window of Santa Claus racing through the sky it was maybe the saddest place I have ever been the most naturally sad place my wife has just come in the room I was just saying that the room at the prison where the prisoners came to meet with their children was perhaps the saddest place I'd ever been in my whole life. And how pleased I'm not there.

And how pleased we must all be that we're not there as we drift off to sleep in the comfort of our beds. Oh, prisoners are allowed to have podcasts now? Do they get funds? Well, indeed. How much I'm going to enjoy my. bed for those prisoners. How much when I'm lying in my bed tonight, thinking of all those places in the world, I'll be thinking of the prisoners. And I want to say that all the listeners to this podcast, I don't think you did it. I don't think, I don't think you did it unless you admit to having done it, in which case, golly gosh, that was big of you. Well, now it's time for me to go

to sleep, as I hope you are now asleep. I love you, I miss you, I want you, I need you. Canemaran ha good night. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellair direct.com.