The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - S2 Ep30: Pre Pilot Season | James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan

Episode Date: October 18, 2026

Pre Pilot Season JDFM Anamorphic Podcast is here for you.RIDGE: One thing to pack, five ways to power! Head to Ridge.com/JDFM for Ridge’s Friends & Family Sale, where you can buy two Ridge Power Banks and get a third FREE !James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan is a product of Catamaran Industries

I'm thinking of running for government. Which one? Opposition. Japanese. Japanese government. Japanese government. What kind of position do you want in government? Japanese.

Emperor. Emperor, that's huge. Maybe you two talk and I'll steer into the distance. We should start now. You know, it's hard. We're here in the office. Darcy, you're getting the desk. Ah, that's where I'm happy beginning the pod.

Is that at a good level? Podcast starts now. Darcy, I've decided to get you a desk in the office. We can't pay you for your work, but you may have a desk. That's good enough. I'm happy with that. You're one of our interns here. That's good.

It's very generous. You are paid with lodging. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I love living in the caravan. And you, you have a home with a family who loves you. That's true. So I think we get Darcy at desk.

I don't know where Darcy's desk should go. Maybe there. Can I get a chair with it? Take, take, take, take. I don't know if we can do the chair. I think Harper should be allowed to have a desk. Okay, what's that? Five desks?

You think it's too many desks? You don't have a desk? Well, my desk got taken for the television. This is my desk now. So six desks, yeah. And then this coffee table. How many chairs? You're very chair obsessive.

We'll start now. It's been to start now. All right. There's a very special guest coming up on the podcast very soon. A very high-profile guest, it seems like, we'll be able to get. Oh, you've done it. I think I've landed an extremely high-profile guest. Oh, very pleased to hear that.

That's great. What are we going to do with this? If the interview with this guest goes well, sky opens up. You've moved on from a series of puzzles. I don't think a series of puzzles. Yeah, I don't think theories of puzzles is the right way to go. Too easy? It must have been done before.

Yeah, yeah. couples massage. Couples massage. Like you as the couple? Yes. Okay, yeah. We get two masseuses. Massi.

Massi, yeah. That's actually a tribe. And we get, there's just one idea of many that I've had for how to make an interview really pop. And we're both lying down on tables and we get the, you know, the, either someone holding up microphones to us or just an arm.

Yeah. A metal arm. and we have a couples massage together. Oh, that's really nice. So I feel good about that one. Okay. We could do it in a couples massage place if we could get them to say yes,

so that's what we could do next is we go and find someone who lets us do a podcast couple's massage. Do you tell the masseuses that you are a couple? The Messiah. The Messiah. Do you tell the messiahs that you're... Easy now. Oe.

I heard that the Messiah have huge penises. My friend who's Kenyan told me that. The Messiah have huge penises. Are they not? They're the little guys who jump up and down in Kenya? Yeah. Okay. So that's just one idea that I had.

But I thought... That's a good idea. I thought three would be good. I thought to do... Three good ideas. Three, I just thought to have a narrative arc. Yeah, this one's the phone one. This one's the bean one.

Let me tell you, the phone one needs something else. Oh, it needs some work. Have you tried your own phone one yet? No, I've just got here. Okay. Darcy, pop up. Let Samantha sit down on her foam. Samantha had the idea that one should be filled with foam.

Yeah, I mean, I just kind of heard that foam was, oh, yeah, it's not good, is it? It's terrible, isn't it? It needs more. Yeah, that's not good, is it? But the bead one... I'm sorry, I came up with this. The bead one also has problems, so my thought is a blend. Yeah, I think the blend of beads and fun.

Yeah, because you want the softness, but you want the... Thank you, Darcy. I would like the spring... Memory foam mattress. Hybrid. Hybrid. Hybrid mattress. Hybrid.

Because we all know the hybrids are the best one. So, but does anyone bring, is anyone got that product? The beanbag. Beanbag. Beanbag foam hybrid. I think we could be the first to do it. But then we could also, that's a product. Oh, you want to sell it.

I want to sell mixed. Let's put the pattern out. Bins and foam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I like that. But so far, couples massage. Couples massage. I think that's quite good.

You could do like a factory visit to somewhere. I think the state of manufacturing in South Australia makes that difficult but do we have a factory? I think we could find a factory. Oh yeah, you can go to Ingham's Chicken, they've got a factory over there.

Oh, I don't want to go to the chicken factory. I've smelt the Ingham's Chicken factory. I went to spend for a walk on South Road past the Ingham's Chicken factory. Is it still there? Yeah. What are you doing down there? You're a Northern boy.

Oh, no, I'm talking about the one in Burton. How many Ingham's chicken factories have they got? I don't know. Do you have a buddy at the Chingham? I wouldn't mind. I don't think we could get this. guest to come with us to an abattoir. I don't think he would agree.

Yeah, I meant more like a textiles place. You can just do it outside so they hear the siren and all the trucks go in and leave empty. I don't mind it, but he's a high class guy who deserves high class activities. Naturally. Couples, so the masseuse. Say with masseus. Messiah, yeah. The Messiah at the masseuse, the parlour.

Here's an idea. Wow, I'm shocked this didn't come to us before. Parlers. Excuse me? Parlars. massage parlour. You know another parlour? No. Ice cream parlour.

Oh. We eat an ice cream together at the ice cream parlor. Then we've got to get a massage together. It's the parlour episode. What are the other parlours? There are parlour games. So we could go to like an intensity or a time zone. Beauty parlor.

Yeah, that could be nice. Yes. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's a beauty parlour and parlour games. Parlor tricks. Parlor.

Do you like parlor as a through line? Palais. parlor I think certainly the ice cream and the massage it's not a bad idea maybe he could be I think I mentioned this in the other podcast I don't know but we could be someone could be feeding us ice cream

and through the little hole in the table while we're having yeah you could like bring all the parlors into one parlor you know what I mean the parlor could you like bring a game in oh we could play a little monopoly yeah that could be fun through the hole What's like a parlour trick, parlour game, you can play cards.

I think ice creams and a massage, I wouldn't mind one more. I think I'd get your nails done or something, no? You don't like that one. What about like a big bar where they have like the fish nibble on your toes or whatever the hell of it? I think it starts to be a through line. Yeah. And not necessarily when we're after. if it's multiple kinds of activities where an Asian woman touches you.

See what I mean? That's a different kind of... Eyebrews? Hmm? Eyebrows? Or is that too distracting? We could get an eyebrow threading. You could get an eyebrow threading.

Yeah, you could probably benefit from a nice eye. My eyes are down here. My brows are up there. It's just an idea. I like ice screams. I like massages. Nothing else is activating me in the same way yet. We probably only have an hour with the guy, so maybe that would be.

Yeah, you could get all the parlours into one shot. Speaking of this guy, do we have any hints? Or is that completely... I can't tell you in case it doesn't happen. All right, so it's not anchored yet. I have to wait until Britain wakes up to confirm it. I don't know who that is, but hopefully that way. He's British.

Well, that's such a good way. He's a British guy. Parky? That rules out a lot of people. It does. You know, in a meaningful way. Mm-hmm. They're having a big debate about what it means to be British at the moment.

Stephen Fry. He's as British as apple pie. What do you think it means to be British? Well, do you have to be white is sort of the argument they're having. Oh, okay. And there are conservative brown people who are going, I'm not British. And I love Britain, but don't call me British, obviously. I'm Salinese or whatever.

And then there's other white left-wing people going, how do you'll say that? Isn't that the whole like, where are you from? Where you from? Are you really from? Yeah, yeah. Like, because I feel like, people see my surname and they're like, where are you from? I'm like, Melbourne.

And they're like, where you from? And I'm white. You know what I mean? Yes. Well, the polls being accepted as white is a relatively new phenomenon and one that I'm not entirely comfortable with. No, it's difficult. Massage good. Ice cream.

Everyone likes an ice cream. Everyone likes a massage. I loved it. What did you have? He's complaining that I was in a bad mood with my ice cream. What did you do with the ice cream? I had to have a little lie down afterwards. It was a tricky day.

I had Vietnamese food and ice cream. I had Baskin and Robbins. It cost $15 for one scoop. Oh, Baskin and Robbins. $15 one scoop. Where are they? They're on here? High Street.

Oh. I know. I didn't know they were still. Different kind of. What did I say? It wasn't Baskin of Robbins. It was Ben and Jerry. It was Ben and Jerry.

Which one did you get? I got the, you know, one of the ones that's a mixture of chocolate and vanilla with some odd stuff inside. You know they're doing the Red Bull thing? One of the 57 of those. What? Yeah, they're doing the Red Bull thing where they're like pretending to be like a food company, but they're actually just doing a bunch of like activism for climate change. I know, I know.

Red Bull doesn't do activism for climate change? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like they have the energy drink, but then they're sort of like, we're an entertainment company. No, I did, I, I, that's why I had to lie down. I was too busy supporting. Too busy supporting their progressive world. Yeah, that's really full of them, isn't it?

I hope you're okay. An ice cream, a massage. Something mildly. Bowling? Bowling? Game of bowling. It's a... Bowling parlor.

Pool. Is that a thing? Pool parlor? Pool parlour? Yeah. Pool parlour? Well, they called billiards parlor back in a, you know, this day. Was it?

Was it really? I would happily have. billy it's be the last one but how would that work with microphones we'd need headsets that could record yeah you just need a boom operator right well we know a boom operator maybe we could get him in for that day well that chunk oh i guess someone has to hold the mics up at the massage parlor and the ice creams we get a boom we get a boom not against it could be done which order end with the ice cream you want to end with the ice cream yeah it would be nice just well you would go yeah it's easy going it's easy going ice cream last yeah actual massage

second last yeah I feel like you don't want to like have a massage first and then like unrelax yourself by doing all sorts of stressful things like playing billiards or whatever but there's something about opening on the massage there is something yeah opening on the massage so powerful to open on massage when I open on the massage I think a masseuse I think masseuse has to be first Okay

It's not negotiable It has to be first But I'm thinking about it from an emotional standpoint Or last It can't be the middle It can't be the middle It can't be the middle If we start on the pool

I'll be really bad at pool And I say it could also drag emotions high If it's a really aggressive game Not that it would be But there's a possibility Of it being competitive I like darts

more than I like pool. Then we can play darts. I think this is like, this world is yours. Georgia Moroidi. Georgia. What about, I mean,

something specific to the man, he's tall. Oh, you want to do like a height-based thing? Maybe we go and play a little basketball. Yeah, you could do basketball. What else do you need to do to be tall? Like, reach up for like things

that are just out of your reach. Yeah, have him help me. Yeah, that would be really nice. For the emotional arc, too, I think that could be. Maybe you end on the massage. That's quite intimate. That's quite intimate.

Yeah. Come and have an ice cream. Is it nice getting to know you, you know. So this interview would essentially just be courting him, wouldn't it? Mm. This guy moving up. Is Britain. He is Britain.

Britain in every aspect, every fabric. So beloved. and so authoritative, he is daddy Britain. Daddy? Yeah, authoritative. Other than the king. And Stephen Frye, unless it's Stephen Fry.

I think Stephen Fry might... Stephen Frye, I feel like his granddaddy. Sort of a mummy Britain. Yeah, okay. Oh, interesting. Fious, Queen Britain. He is not authoritative. It doesn't have that in him.

But there is a maternal Stephen Frye element of, oh, let me look after you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. Have you heard this funny fact? Always with a funny fact. He's always got a funny fact.

A massage? Well, I feel like... An ice cream. If it was it, the perfect day, does the perfect day have a massage in it? Depending on who it's with. Yeah, I mean, what's your perfect day? Does it start or end with a massage? You know what I mean?

Maybe one for every sense. Wow. Touch has to be a massage. touch massage taste ice cream of course so it's take him somewhere for a good smell i betwixtal i mean it's a smell or a picture show a feast for the eyes the art gallery i don't think they'd let us film there i don't know if you'd be able to film no they're very uptight i am writing a um sort of murder mystery a crime story sit in an art gallery with Robert Hughes as the lead character.

Are you really? When it does so. Oh, I have a hundred things on the go at once, but I really have started. That's great. It's the story of an art critic who's brought in by the police. Robert Hughes, the main guy. Talks like this. What are we doing, man?

I thought I could, I thought I could, I'm thinking of things I could play. Yeah, I think I could show up and be Robert Hughes. It's all shit. But he turns up in art gallery. I'm not doing this in the 80. We're doing this in the... Ah! He are of the Eiffel Tower.

Shit one. Monster. Absolute. Anyway. Hello, Malcolm Turnbull. We're having dinner again. I'm the godfather of your son. That's good.

Alex. We'll briefly be a Twitter celebrity. Yeah. When Alex Turnbull couldn't stop. Yeah, I did remember that. It was good. I did. It was good days.

You're a bit too. A feast for the eyes. What do you want to do for smell? A sop shop Aesop shop I don't know Man You should do better

But what do you think Is the number one smell Number one smell Location Number one smell Oh no one smell location Flower shop Flower shop

Not bad I feel like most flowers These days Don't have like Big Strong smell Though It has to be natural You want a natural smell

It should be a natural smell You could do like a You could do like a frolic Somewhere I sprayed some Miss Dior On my hand recently Oh how did that go I saw that on the bench.

Which hand? I think it was this hand. I think it was here. I can't smell it now, but I'm thinking what was the action I kept doing. Anyway, the day, I thought it was fine. It was a little immediate. I read The Life of M, which is about Natalie Bortman, so I bought Natalie Bortman's smell.

Just because I was coming through. You know, I always panic because I came back from New Zealand. I panic going through the duty-free zone. And yet in a sense, I never panic. Isn't that exciting? I think, yeah, if you're in a state, panic constantly. I'm always at 75. Yeah.

Anyway, I spray a little misty ore on me. Yeah, how is that? Only later in the day when I'd become sweaty and gross, did it really start working? Yeah, I feel like perfume, you kind of need to give it like a good, like, three hours before it, like, does anything in a real way. That's where you felt, it became expensive. Because at first you just go, oh, that's a smell.

Yeah. But then smelling it, like, a couple of hours later, after all sorts of living, you go, oh. Well, because the whole thing is it has to intermingle with like you. Yes. You know what I mean? Yes. I won't start wearing misty ore.

But later in the day, I went, Natalie Portman, you know what it is? She's so clean. Yeah. She's so clean and nice seeming. Did you feel like Natalie Portman? I felt a closeness to Natalie. Yeah, okay. Early in the day, you know, that was.

was more of a Natalie Portman in heat. You know? Dead in a bathtub. Yeah, sure, sure. But ready to come back. But later in the day, it was really more of a Natalie Portman.

A black swan. No, she's being in... Oh, okay. Yeah. What is a heart? Yeah. Looks like a fist covered in blood. That's a good line.

Have you seen closer? Yes, but I know that scene, like from memory. Yeah, it's a great scene. She's dressed. She's a... She's an evening performer in that scene. A performer of the evening. An evening performer of the evening.

She's dressed like a performer of the evening. I have nothing to say. I sort of Digger. What a clean transition. Tell us about Digger. This Tom Cruise movie, which the world knows nothing about. Digger's fantastic. How is it fantastic?

Tell us about it. It's not really a movie about climate change, which it looks like in the trailer. It's a movie about it's a satire of people trying to make art about climate change. Oh man. It's a few more. So what is not obvious from the Digger trailer is that the whole movie is a play.

And then it keeps cutting out to Tom Cruise as kind of himself trying to get the character and feeling like he's being painted into a farce. I don't think I've ever seen Tom Cruise play not just Tom Cruise, though. You know what I mean? He always plays Tom Cruise. But is there a Tom Cruise? And is he actually such a fine actor that he elevates every part?

You know what I mean? Like, who's Tom Cruise? No, I know what you mean. But, like, is he just playing, like, a version of Tom Cruise? You know what I mean? He's so good. Is he one of those people who's like,

What would you have him play? Actually, the true, the true me is in the actor, Tom Cruise. Not, like, not me as Tom Cruise out on the street. I would, who would... Who is he on the street? You know what I mean? I would have him, I would want him to play street Tom Cruise. But who is it?

Like, act natural. You know what I mean? I don't know that that's in there. This is what I mean. It's like saying, I just want to see what Nick Cage is like as a regular guy. Yeah, I would love to see what he's like as a regular guy. That would be good. Digger was fantastic.

Right. And so, did you learn anything? It's been marketed clearly, it has been marketed badly because it's a big failure. Yeah. But I would advise everyone to go and see it. I loved Digger. I loved it. I love Digger

And it was, so wait, it was a film about Climate, making art about climate change. It's set in the future. I don't want to, I won't spoil it. Okay. I won't spoil it. But, I mean, you'll, I, no one's to go on seat, digger.

Give us an emotional note, a full page. Oh, what the film's about. You don't have to give us a synopsis, but just a little, maybe half a scene. Nothing that can be spoiler-worthy. Give us the vibe. It's very Mexican. Very Mexican.

Very Mexican. Deeply Mexican. It's Iranian-N-Nesquino. It's the Birdman Man. Oh, yeah. So it's actually quite birdman-y. And shot, I think, in that Birdman style. It's not one shot, is that?

Is it? Yeah. Oh, man, those films are nice. When I think about it, it's not. No, because the camera cuts to different places. Yeah, okay. But it is all... It takes the amount of time that the amount of movie takes.

There's a word for that. Oh, yes. I've never seen him trust someone with the camera like that before. That was terrifying. Now I know how weak I am. That was heavy. How do you live for that, Sam? Oh, good.

We're all in vogue. You don't have a band bag. Nah, I got... Yeah, get out of you. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. massage. You take this, I'll take the yoga mat.

I'm happy here. I'll gladly take the yoga mat. Okay. Sam doesn't want to be reminded of her. I'd say failure. No, all right. Squish it up and, like, lean into it that way. But make sure your knees are support so you know.

Big things happening. I don't, yeah, all right. Make sure my knees are support. I don't know. Just so they're not on the hard wood. Oh. I don't know. If you're comfortable, all you take that, I'll take this.

just. I mean, it's not good. I'm so sorry. No, no, it's at the beginning. It's a good idea. It's a start. No, but it's not a good idea if it doesn't actually work.

You know what I mean? Many good ideas don't work. Thank you so much, Doc. That's something Nigella Lawson says. Nigella Lawson full of proverbs. She's doing the new bake-off. Yeah, she's the new, she's the new,

tito. She's a new bake-off. And she just keeps dropping little like proverbs. I'm a Nogela fan, obviously. Sam Clark's favorite cinematographer is the Nogela Wilson guy. Yeah. That's why Sam Clark got really good at...

Okay. What a show. You're doing planking? No, I'm not going to last even a minute. Yeah, you can last a minute. Come on. Oh, I can last a minute. But a minute goes so slow when you do this.

Yeah, it does go slow, yeah, especially when you're thinking about the time. Well, we better talk about pilot season because all the important people are here. Pilot season? Have you not been brought up? brought in on pilot season yeah we just keep talking about Darcy being in pilot season what is do me in here anyone the seed now we've done the movie yes we have this wonderful cinematographic audiovisual team yes I think we might have options for more money yes so what are we going to do pilot season

pilot season pilot season so you're talking making a pilot or multiple. What's... Three pilots. Three pilots. Three pilots. All right. Samantha has a pilot, but we'll keep that under wraps at the time being, I think.

But there's a Samantha show. I intend to make breakfasts of the world. Even now, even though I was told today that there's no money in breakfasts of the world. They had a meeting today. And they said, there's no money in it. Who told me that? Wait, no. As in why did they tell you that?

Oh, they wanted to help my expectations and put me on the right path. I think it's difficult when you work with people who don't see a vision. Well, they sort of know the title and not much more. I think it will be easy and fun to do a couple breakfasts of the world, but if we don't suddenly make millions and millions of dollars for it, that's okay. That's okay. But the third one, which was not my, I wish I could say that was my idea, but it was not. It was, whose idea?

I can't remember how it came up. We were looking up endangered crafts and then I think, You came up with it? I can't remember. Darcy does endangered crafts. Endangered crafts. There's so many crafts. There's so many like things that like...

A dying out. Like hand engraving, for example, is a dying craft. Because like not enough people are learning how to do it from masters. True. Or making like those Moroccan custom files. That's exactly what I'm saying. The fact that he's come up with an example of media is pretty good. I can jarver that.

I'll gel. I'll gel. That's what I'm saying. So we would send you around the world. That's fine. craft. You put me anywhere, mate, North Central. I'll go. My abortive idea for a show was

Darcy suffers, or I would just make you do difficult things. I want you to know Darcy. You're not down with that. Oh, wow, okay. I think we start with the craft. I'll be the next bus to keep. I would like the craft one to operate on such a low vibration frequency that we could sell it to like the BBC, the ABC, the CBC,

and you know, on a Saturday afternoon at 2pm people would just have it wash over the without any big... Do you know the sort of show that I'm talking about? I know. Like when Richard E. Grant

gets on a train. Is that who I'm thinking of? Yes. Oh, I mean, I don't know. But yeah. Someone who's like... On a train. Darcy's endangered crafts.

Sowing a cricket ball together. There's so many endangered crafts. A lot of them are in Japan. A lot of them are like about making baskets, but like different kinds of baskets. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like you just kind of have to weave a bunch of stuff.

It's like with different materials. Could we get the list out? The list? I'll read out the list. How do you want me to play? You want me to play it like straight, serious? Just, wow, this is breathtaking. A thousand-year-old.

I think it's just like your real reaction. Or be like kind of, not Carl Pilkington, but a little bit of a buffoon. Like, what the fuck? Language. What the hell is this? So you got the red lists of endangered crafts. Is that turned on? The hard.

Is that on? Hang on. Is the hard drive on? I'll wait. I just touched it with my foot. I've just got a media release. Hang on. Let me find the actual PDF for you.

The red list, I think, is like the most endangered ones. So it's going to be like, I don't know, palm tree climbing in Indonesia. Well, that's not a craft. That's an activity. But yeah, that. Ooh. Whip making. Whip making.

Dassey will do some. Arrow smithing. Bill found it. I know. I know a guy who works on a foundry in America. Courage making, clog making, clay, like, clay, clog, don't send me the Netherlands, don't, no. Fabric pleading, fan making, fair-isle-chair, diamond cutting.

Diamond cutting. Diamond cutting, I can't believe that's dying. Do you think that's like, that's got to be just like a hand diamond cutting, you know what I mean? Because I feel like a lot of these crafts are just endangered because because like machines have taken over. You know what I mean? Some of them are definitely like, you know, Sussex truck making or North Isle, you know, sewing.

That's all stuff like an island stuff, very native things. You know what else I heard, though, is dying. I don't know, I don't know if this is on the list. Oh, hand dying. I guess hand dying would be. Hand dying. Like in Harry Potter. Mm.

And Dumbled orders his hand. And the hand. It dies. Yeah. There's so much here. Apparently machine, like machine maintenance for certain machines is dying. Yeah, crazy. What will happen with the machines?

Yeah, what do we do? And then we have to go back to the original way of making the art, and that's diet. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know what kind of machine. So there's a big show getting ready to be made there. All right. I'm just, I'm looking at the ones that live endangering.

They're all pretty fine. I mean, what... Are you inspired by any of them? I am. Like, there's handmaking and all sorts. There's copper wheel engraving, which I can... Copper wheel engraving, I think, would be huge. I'd really like to try that.

Quilting? Quilting? Quilting is crazy to me. I feel like I know so many people who do quilting. A lot of old, old country, you know, Welsh and Irish thatching's going out of business. That's not good. That's rough. I'm sure rake making is not going to be that, you know, hazardous to health.

I'm down with that. I'll do it. Wooden fishing net making, I think, is a massive one for me. It feels like something you'd find in the Philippines, and I'll go there. Send me off. So that'll be good? Yes. All this and more. Also, we're going to work on the merchandise.

I have a limited amount of time. In January, I are going to disappear. Where is going? Everything has to happen before January. No, for the same. the comment. We have until January. What's that? You have been watching the James Donald Forbes-McCann Catamaran plan. I have to record the ads. Well, I'll do the ads now.

Where's the sheet of paper you give them? Talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to get what I need to do the ad. That was an hour and a half already. Shoot. Yeah, I know. Time flies on you're having fun. You're talking about endangered crafts. I could have been planking that entire time. I know. And I believe you could have done it too. I think that could have been. good. I know. Seriously got into, oh, we'll send you over here. I could have blitzed. How long do you think you could hold a plank for?

I think how long have done is like two minutes, three minutes. That's pretty good. Have you put a weight on your back? No. My back is my weight. I prefer dead hangs. Dead hangs where it's just like, you know, you'd find a pull a bar. I'm only 58 kilograms, but that would surely snap, wouldn't it? Oh. Surely snap.

That would surely snap. A little shorter. Do you want... I don't even think that. Darcy, you're about to lose death privileges. No. Are you ready? Oh.

What do I have to do? This episode of the James Donald Forbes-McCand Catamaran plan is brought to you by Ridge. Holiday shopping gets expensive fast. Doesn't it? We'll hear it. The people at Ridge, from October 8th through November 5th, they're running a family and friends sale.

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They're quite nice. They're wonderful, aren't they? Top of the line. Ready to get a head start on Gifting. you can find Ridges PowerBank at best buy and Amazon or head to ridge.com slash JDFM for Ridge's friends and family sale where you can buy two Ridge Powerbanks and get a third one free. That's ridge.com slash JDFM.

Shop smart this holiday season with Ridge. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. That was really good Do we have any other ideas for television programs? Any ideas? From me? Yeah, I mean I have a secret one that we're not talking about yet apparently.

Oh yeah, we won't talk to it. Let's keep that a secret. Yeah, I think that's fine. Right on. Breakfasts of the world, I wonder if there's a cheaper version where I just eat the breakfasts here in multicultural Australia. I just don't know it. Oh, yeah, you could.

That's very plausible. I know some Sudanese people. You could do that. You could do that thing. I mean, someone did it as a TikTok series where they went to like every cuisine that they could find in Australia. Nice. Like they just went down the list of countries and they were like, let's find an Afghan restaurant. Somewhere between proving Pauline Hanson wrong and proving Pauline Hansen right.

That's a really beautiful thing. Yeah. And that's like the, that's the tagline for the show. It's getting too late for that. I don't like it. I don't want to do that. You don't want to do our Pauline program. I mean, could we get some, could we get some,

as thought I had, you know, the show, you know, used to get big debate shows. I mean, we're not having debate. Quanda, yeah. Constructively together, Cochwanda. I'll get, here are some people right now that I hereby invite to the program. Okay.

Purple Pingers. The, are we just going with communist now? He's a communist? Yeah, I think, I don't know if it's communist or socialists. Well, purple pingers. I think he's outwardly a socialist and certainly informed by the Marxist worldview. Yeah, I'd love to have him on our round table. Drew Pavlo?

Oh, no. Yes. I mean, oh yes. Even though he called my friend Amos a woke tard. Apparently Amos Gill was too far the left for Drew Pavlo. Do you? So did Amos. Amos was.

going, what the, what the bloody out? I can't imagine that comment being made about him. It's on Twitter right now. But I'd have Drew Pavlo on the show. Drew Pavlo, Purple Ping is sitting side by side. Isn't that a good show? I think you could host a good late line. Yeah.

Who else are we having on the show from Australia and around the world? I don't care to have Carl Stephanovic on. I just don't. I'd love to see you talk to Malcolm Turnbull. I'd love to have Malcolm Turnbull on the show. I'd love to have Malcolm Turnbull on the show. I'd love. He might say yes.

Let's try and get all of the ex-prime ministers. Yeah, that would be good. All together in a room. What is that now? It's Keating, Johnny, Julia, I'm missing Kevin. Kevin. How would we get Kevin twice? And Abbott.

We'd get Scotty. Abbott is the one that I could potentially get. Do you reckon? I've met Abbott at a lunch once. Oh, yeah, you have said. I also met Malcolm at a dinner. Never met Scotty. Met Julia at a book signer.

Did you? At her book signing or a different book signing? At her book signing? Wow. Do you have a book? I tried to get her to sign Atlas Shrugged. Thought that would be funny. Yeah. Did she find that funny? Oh, they had a guy controlling the line who kicked me out of it. But I still got to say hi with the... That's really nice.

Ah, sweet Julia. Tony Jones, where's he? I'd have him on. What's Tony Jones up to? What's Tony Jones up to? Who's Tony Jones? He used to host Q&A. Really, just great show. Is it?

Yeah, people would ask questions, and then people on the panel would answer them. Yeah, it was the show. Is he the one, the glasses? Yeah. Even though that doesn't narrow it down. He looked a bit like Kevin Rudd. I can tell that that lens looks just beautiful today.

I can see it. It feels right. It feels right. Yeah. I have to go on a tour. I have to go on a comedy tour before January. Before January? Where?

It's just around the country. I'll do some crowd work. Do you want to come and open? I'll fly you at least a couple to open. You can come to... What? You want to come to Sydney? Have you been to Sydney?

I've been to Sydney. You've been to Perth? Never been to Perth. No one ever goes to Perth. Have you ever been to Perth? No one ever goes to Perth. Have you been to Perth? No one ever goes to Perth.

Do I smell? We'll lose all the money I'm meant to be making on the bloody trip. Yeah, we love Perth. We'd have to really get some good stuff out of Perth. Perth is nothing. I love Perth. I love the people of Perth. Describe the people of Perth.

Basketball Australians. Basketball Australians? What does that mean? Big shorts. Lots of places to eat a cool new kind of hamburger. Hey, the UFC's on. Let's go and have a lot. I mean, that thing I said, that sounds awesome.

I'd love that good. Yeah. Let's go to Perth. I've, like, the only reason I've never watched UFC is, like, I've never had, like, the perfect, like, situation to be in to watch UFC, you know what I mean? And I feel like... It's 11 a.m. at a pub. Yeah, Perth would be the right place to do that at 11 a.m. at a pub. I've done it many times.

No, and I believe that I might enjoy myself. Oh, it's, yes. That's what I'm saying. And I get to watch and I get to go, because Joe Rogan looks so happy at the UFC. Oh, yeah, I think that happens. He is the commentator. He's the ringside interviewer.

And he's... And I knew that. I've just never seen him as happy as when he's at the UFC going, like he's really like, it just to see. anyone made that happy I haven't had enough conversations about why there's

such like a weird fascination with UFC with a lot of these sort of commentators you know what I mean? Because doesn't like doesn't what's his name? Trump modeled himself after one of the guys. Trump was a hugely supportive

of it in early days. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I think there's something I mean sport and power have always dovetailed, as long as we've had the sport in a big way. I think it's something to talk, it's an agreed thing to talk about in a way that, you know, in Australia, certainly in South Australia, Victoria and Perth,

if you know about the AFL, you really open up the ability to talk about things that aren't just football that are also... I'll put a timer. What is justice? What is... what is right, what is wrong, what is decency, what is quality. I mean, I feel, I do feel.

You just have a touchstone. You can go, ah, Connor McGregor, let's really have a conversation about something else, but we have a conduit with agreed facts that we can use. Yeah, I kind of regret not being into sport, and like I really tried, but I couldn't do it, but, like, it feels like the last bastion of, like, real community where, like, everyone kind kind of gets together. We're on 23 seconds. It's a real beautiful community thing. I think I have a hernia.

I'll still do it afterwards. How do you have a hernia? Why did you get that from? I've got an umbilical hernia. I've got a little soft spot in my belly button. Oh. I don't think I know what a hernia is. Is that technique?

Is that good technique? Yeah, I don't know if I'm loving. I don't know if I'm loving. This feels really embarrassing. But go on, say something so I don't feel out of place. Well, I just want to, we're getting to a minute, right? I'll do my push-ups. Oh, 10 seconds.

Wow. Yeah, you don't have that one to do. Very proud of you, I'm sorry. Very proud. That's not encouragement. You have like three seconds left. Wait, hold on. Three.

Oh, you're done. Two. I'm done? Yeah, you're done. Look at that. Oh, I was just counting for no reason. Yeah, you're done. Okay.

He's continuing. Let me do my push-ups now. Okay. Get up. They're not good push-ups. I want to say like five good push-ups. All right, audience, spot them. It might be good for like, you're not falling over.

You know what I mean. That's really beautiful. Good, good, straight spine, good. Look at that. This is really nice. Isn't this beautiful? That was five. That was really good.

That's what I really want to do right now. Slow the working back into it. But I think the form is getting good. Did I have a little wrestle? A wrestle. That brings to an end in this episode of the James Donald Wolves-McCann-Cadmaran plan. A wrestle is not a bad idea. So much to do.

So much to do. see you know what I mean we know what you mean goodbye goodbye