The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - Shawn Gardini in Conversation

Episode Date: September 8, 2024

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Sean Gardini, have you got tour dates coming up? Yeah, I do, James. Thanks for bringing it up. I'll be in Tempe, Arizona on September 11th and Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys September 13th and 14th. Please come for the love of God. I'm begging you. I'll be with Ada McCluskey and Nate Marshall.

Get out there! Thank you, James. Ked Moran Ho. Buy tickets to see Sean Gardini. Yep, it's on my SeanGardini.com. Oh, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl Who is that woman? Chapel Roan

We were listening to her They're pushing her hard Her We discussed this recently I didn't know you were a pop music guy Brat Charlie XCX is getting a push Late in the career

Sabrina Carpenter. Who else? There's another one. Chapel Roan. Chapel Roan. I feel like these are the new... Just before the last big financial crisis. And Kamala Harris.

Those are the four bad bitches of the summer. Well, she is the Brat Queen of the apocalypse, yeah. They're the four Brats of the apocalypse. After the last downturn, it was Katy Perry, Beyonce, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga. Beyonce was already around, but she was elevated like she hadn't been before. And who else? Queen B. She was Princess B.

Princess A moved up to Queen B. Now she's going to move up to Empress C. And finally, Peasant D. It flips around. now she's going to move up to Empress C and finally Peasant D it flips around oh no yeah but then you get to move up to

Minderlander Gentry E excuse me we'll move on but I think this is the the music industry said people are sad we need pop starlets again I think the other one the English one they're pushing

is a band called the last dinner party i've never heard of them they're being accused of being industry plants but they have a great album okay and they're five young english ladies ladies oh cool doing uh sort of warbly warbly poppish you know baroque point is, I like that sort of stuff. I think in an economic downturn, the music industry goes, we need ladies, young, nice,

optimistic ladies. They're all bosses. Well, this time around, they're more bossy than the last time around and also they're definitely, and I don't say this with any disrespect

to any of these ladies, they're less attractive. Oh, so you think they went with more attitude on this one? I think this time around, I mean, Katy Perry was maybe

the most beautiful woman. Early Katy Perry was the huge buzzies and she's kissing girls. True. And Lady Gaga was sort of straight. I mean,

Beyonce is unbelievably beautiful. Yeah, she's the most beautiful to me. Taylor Swift, very beautiful. Undeniable that Taylor Swift was very beautiful. I think number one, Rihanna rihanna may be the the best looking lady of all time she's good i think queen bee might be my favorite though so beautiful and this time around they all look interesting i'm not complaining not complaining but definitely i think that they're

less focused on the male gaze this time around well the male gaze certainly but the male homosexuals love it but I don't feel with the exception of Sabrina Carpenter I don't feel these women

are being sold to me as sexual commodities and even then Sabrina Carpenter is definitely more for women than for men yeah but what do you think what do you think

that's all about I think the media has fractured to a point where they're not even trying to have the same pop stars for men and for women i don't think they think they can do it anymore what do we what do the boys have i guess we have zach brian is it a country phase for the fellas yeah it seems like that i don't know that the i don't know that they have pop pop boys anymore no i don't know if they have pop boys anymore. No, I don't know if they do either. I'm racking my brain right now. Oh, nice pedestrian.

There was a pedestrian out there? People like walking in this neighborhood. Oh, a lady? No, I didn't say that. Are you perving on ladies outside the window? I didn't say that. You're just checking out the men again, keeping it gay. Beautiful.

Looking at the male gays. Who is this woman we're talking about who had the pink, what's her song called? Chapel Roan. Chapel Roan. I'm being pushed her on the algorithm. Me too. At an astounding rate. I didn't know who she was.

Yeah. Flawlessly. Sabrina Carpenter was the first one that I acquiesced. It's catchy. I didn't hear Expresso at all. I think I just saw her in a bikini and I kept scrolling. I said, I'm not looking for that right now. Thank you very much.

I don't need that in my life. But then Please, Please, Please was such a good song. How did that one go? Please, please, please don't prove I'm right. And then it goes. It sounds like a Lindsey Buckingham song, but it's made by Jack Anthonov. Oh, I've heard of that guy.

He's everywhere. And he's so good at making a hit. And it upsets me. Because I don't know why. I don't know why. You're jealous. I saw him once in an interview with taylor swift and he's overseeing the latter part of her career songs yes okay and he was speaking to her um

in a very sophisticated uh sycophantic way where he was criticizing her in a way she wanted to be criticized this is maybe too maybe i've gone too deep but there is there is a way to talk to narcissistic people which is better than if in terms of getting them to like you which is better than saying you're so great you criticize them on something that they're happy to be criticized about and then they think oh you're being honest and you love what's an example of that it's funny he's doing he goes something like the problem with taylor she's too beautiful and talented. It's something like, she needs everything to be perfect.

And if it's not perfect, she won't have it. It was something of that line. And I thought, you sneaky man. I like that. And the fact that he's in with all the narcissistic pop ladies. And they all like him. And he's doing great music. He's a full package.

He did the second Lorde album, which I returned to that album all the time he did uh which was second one is that royals that's first album okay i don't know what happened to that guy i'm trying to find the guy who helped her with that album that was that's the best album yeah that was a really good song but he did i'm on that green light i want it i don't know that one i'm on that green light that also had um uh that had uh homemade dynamite true which is great homemade dynamite sir i am lord you know who did the voice of lord in those episodes of south park see ya really yeah yeah i remember listening to it and thinking what that's see ya and then i she wasn't credited and i looked it up that was see ya who's from my hometown that's what i was

gonna say yeah i'll see lady she's from adelaide she apparently played in like jazzy bands around town i was too young you can't see me yeah she's like my children just i see you you can't see me. Yeah, she's like, Oh, children, look, just like I see you. You can't see you. I mean, she's... I remember I saw the Elastic Heart video for the first time with Shia LaBeouf wrestling Maddie Ziegler, Pittsburgh's finest child dancer at the time. Do you remember? No. They're stuck in a cage,

and it was deemed to be too intimate and strange and... But it still came out. Oh, it still... Yes. But the reviews were there. The reviews were like... Weird. Yeah, what's going on?

Why is Shia touching this? Why is Shia touching a child in this video? It's a great video. It's a great song. She's a great... Sia's career never recovered from... I think she scored... She was involved in a movie about an autistic child.

And the autistic community came out and were like, you can't, you're not autistic. You can't be involved in this. And Sia responded in like the most autistic way. She just like argued with all the autistic people. And then I think acquiesced. But Sia's ready for another big hit. I love Sia. Yeah.

We're waiting for you, Sia. We're ready. Sia is maybe the most... Who had a better run than Sia? For huge hits. Titanium! She had... Oh, dang, yeah.

I forgot about that one. She had... I am Titanium! She had She She had... She wolf who has brought me to my knees. Do you remember that one? I'm sure. Falling to pieces.

I love that one. I wasn't so tapped into Sia, I guess. Oh, no. She had... I've got thick skin and an elastic heart. I'm just going to do all the songs. I like it. Chandelier.

That was a big one. Oh, here. That was a big one. Oh, yeah, that's a big one. I remember. Oh, my goodness. I want to swing. See, this is good. This is what the people want. This has turned into a very good podcast, stimulating.

All I had to do was get into popular music. Sorry, I keep getting back to Chapel Roan. Right. I think she also had a career. I've been listening to her. She had a long career uh beforehand she had like several releases and it wasn't working out and then she changed her hair and her look i'm not sure what she even looks like to be honest with you she's got i'm gonna look it up though painted white skin and big red hair alabaster and uh alabaster and alabaster pop star

and this is sabrina carpenter didn't look like she did before this sabrina carpenter really Big red hair. Alabaster. Alabaster. An Alabaster pop star. She's beautiful. And this is Sabrina Carpenter. Didn't look like she did before this. Sabrina Carpenter really changed her makeup. Oh, you know what makes me so happy are these photos. If you go online right now. I didn't know that was Caitlin Clark. You said that to me.

If you go online right now, you can see so many photos of Caitlin Clark sticking her tongue out and making silly faces. I thought that was like a young Anthony Kiedis with a weird shirt on. There's so many. She's having fun. She's having so much fun. She's sticking her tongue out. She's like a lizard. She's like a snake.

I would like to go and see a Caitlin Clark basketball game. There's a rumor that she smells with her tongue. Well, she'd be very sweaty out there. That's right. I'd like to see Caitlin Clark. I was in Indianapolis. All I wanted to do was get some Caitlin Clark merchandise, and the store was closed.

What? On a Saturday. Probably sold out. Everyone's loving Caitlin. I understand the other people bullying her. When we were in the Mohican Sun Stadium, where the Mohican Suns play. I think they're called the Cincinnati Suns,

whatever they are. The ladies basketball team. I opening for shane in the arena that they play and uh and they said yeah the stadium sells out every game now and they're booing like at home games the home team my dad's calling me you've got to answer that call okay dad i can't chat right now i'm on a podcast but do you want to comment on it? Sure. Whose podcast? My friend James. He's from Australia.

I have to go back to Caitlin Clark. Ah, all right. How do you feel about Caitlin Clark? We were just talking about her before you called. I think she's a good basketball player. Yeah, me too. She's beautiful. She's making a lot of money for the WNBA.

That's true. People are trying to take her head off every game. I know. Yeah, I don't think she deserves. Well, I'll call you about it later. I love you. I'm sorry. No, no problem.

Talk to you later. All right. Love you. Bye. Hold on. Hold on. Let me show you something. You got a hat or something?

Oh, I bet. You got 10 gallons back there? Well, you guys got to get James a boat boat oh drifter yeah shout out to drifter yeah that's a nice shirt that i bought and i've been thinking of wearing but it was it's been too hot but i thought yes if i wear that and a big cowboy hat they'd like you maybe that would help you might be a redneck you could do that but for australia you might be a bargain if you've ever called your son a dog i don't know we could do a new like blue collar comedy tour type of thing i'd like to do the white collar comedy tour it's very waspy yeah just being disapproving oh my good i i'm trying to get out of my algorithm

because i realized i don't know any uh hardline progressive democrats hold on well you're just getting fed uh the are you being are you becoming based uh i think i'm i don't think i've ever been especially based although I do like it when people comment tell me I'm based because I know that that's a compliment

it's a compliment yeah so I'm very happy with that and I definitely have some I think what I don't like about the base thing is it feels like to be based is just to

say something that feels good that you're not meant to say sure yeah like it doesn't actually have to be and that can be something helpful and useful but it's like owning the libs i think the libs are wrong about almost everything but i don't find owning them to be a very exciting proposition it's like that with the trans ladies uh i i it just makes me feel sad yeah uh i i don't want to upset trans people i just uh

which is not to say i want to castrate children which is often the other side but i just i'm non-confrontational i would say and i think based you have to get up in the face sometimes yeah i think it's more of just i don don't know, recognizing some of those things. Yes. People like that. But everyone's doing it now, so it's sort of less exciting. I've been talking about that a lot lately. Yeah.

When it's here, everyone makes dirty jokes, and it sort of makes me want to not do dirty jokes anymore. Well, this was my friend Amos Gill came to town and did some gigs. Yeah, Amos is nice. Well, he was having a bit of an existential crisis. Why? Well, he was saying like in New York and California, I do these jokes and people look at me like I am a fascist.

Right. And I do these jokes here in Austin and people treat me like I'm a soft cock, woke soy boy, cock man. And it's like, yeah, I mean, I guess you just have to be yourself and hope it works out, which is what he does. But I mean, you can't, yeah,

different areas, different people. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know how to navigate it. But I'm also, red pill used to be the term. Red pill and based, yeah. Red pill and based. But I went back and I watched that

Matrix movie, the first one,field and based, yeah. Redfield and based. But I went back and I watched that Matrix movie, the first one, two nights ago. Yeah. It's so transparently a trans movie. You were saying that yesterday. It's a very,

it's like maybe the best film of the 90s. I never saw it. I'm in protest. You've still never seen The Matrix? That's incredible.

Not until they switch back. I won't watch it. They hadn't switched at the time, so I think just cut off before the sequels get going. It was two when one did. Cut off before they cut off, yeah. And then the other one copycatted them. Well, also of the Wachowski sisters,

the one who transed first does the high-pitched lady voice. Okay. And the one who transed second is just... Shrek. But still going like, hey, everybody. So in this movie, we tried that. Yeah. And I think the fourth one is only one Wachowski, right?

That they stopped working together. Anyway, my point is, it's... What's the red pill in the movie? I just know it. The red pill wakes you up from the Matrix and you get to see what reality is. Oh, okay. But it is like a deeply hateful, strange movie.

It's so well made. It's almost, you know, I would say triumph of the will-like in dimension. They just kill a lot of innocent people do a trinity and neo there are scenes where they are gunning down people who are still plugged into the matrix because anyone could become an agent this is the thing like the matrix can take over a people when they want but they're still like innocent you know they're living lives in the matrix they're living in their sack but they've

got families and real lives and humanity and decency and they have to be like it's the columbine the columbine people dressed up like them from this oh that's oh okay and it's uh it's cool it's an incredible well-made movie i i don't want to i can't knock the craft of the matrix at all or how it made me feel or how subversive it was but it's a genuinely like this is a movie made by angry people

who hate everything and have real disquiet in their hearts it's a it's a much more strange and provocative movie something was happening

in the 90s we forget it like you know the 90s were not was happening in the 90s we forget it like you know the 90s were not the 80s the 80s seems like it was a pretty commercial ronald reagan morning in america time bill clinton's freaky ass he's getting sucked off in the oval office kirk cabane is writing the greatest most painful kill yourself music of all time right the pc thing starts for the first time and is just roundly thrashed into place by Limp Bizkit and Adam Sandler movies.

Like, Adam Sandler is a blowback against whatever proto-woke thing was happening. And they go, right, we better get Limp Bizkit, Adam Sandler, the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We better get men with their shirt off going suck it yeah oh man degeneration x i mean that doesn't happen in a vet this it's weird to think now what the context was that this existed in this we're doing the the crotch chops for anyone unable to see that meant something that was a a big FU to campus liberals,

which obviously broke out and got much bigger later on. But I guess we're living in a similar moment where the high watermark of the left puritanical movement is being pushed back. By who? Well, I think Shane getting SNL was a really big deal. A puritanical movement is being pushed back. By who? By... Well, I think Shane getting SNL was a really big deal. Other than that, I would struggle to come up with heaps of examples.

I mean, what's weird... I mean, Trump was a part of that. Yeah, of course. But he's not doing well at the moment. No, I'm worried about him. I hope he's all right. I believe he's going to be fine. I have to believe.

I don't like that he has to do his performances behind bulletproof glass now. I think that separates you from the people, and you probably have to risk getting killed again. Yeah. Tear down the glass. You've still got another ear. We'll find out how it goes. Yeah.

We just have to wait and see. I almost got to go to a Kamala rally. I was in Arizona with Matt, and we got in, and she was doing a rally that afternoon, and we were both very tired from the travel and decided not to go. But it would have been not to support Kamala necessarily. I'm officially politically neutral in this country, but I thought it would be nice to go. I've never been to an American political rally. Me neither.

And I don't really plan on going. Are you registered to vote? No. That's unbelievable. I might have to start doing a registered to vote campaign for my... My neighbor was trying to get me a thing. To vote? Yeah.

Who do you want you to vote for? She probably wanted me to vote for Kamala. Sleepy Joe and Camel Toe. Have you ever heard that one? No, but every time I do hear... What do you mean do hear? You live here. No, no.

Like there's... I think there's a principled rejection of Kamala that people can make. And then I was listening to the Tucker podcast and they just had a guy on who was like, camel toe. And he's like, this bitch. Whenever it moves into that, it's like, I don't. Don't bring a bun and that makes my blood boil. Have I ever sent you, did I send you that one? No, please.

I find it impossible to have one feeling about yeah that's why i have i have a hard time talking about any of this sort of stuff because i truly don't give a rat's head about any of it maybe it's the fatigue is finally sitting i don't really care about the culture yeah i don't really care about either party or i do i care about trains i care about either party or... I do. I care about trains. I care about who's investing in public, big public transport infrastructure works. Yes? Yes. You know, I've watched like one episode.

I've seen a lot of clips. My brother loved Entourage. I didn't know you had a brother. You're really getting... I have a... Oh, my brother Alistair, who's a great man. Alistair? Alistair McCann. He...

I don't know if I have it here. I have a photo in Australia. But he introduced me to Shane accidentally. Oh, cool. I had stopped following comedy. I thought it was sort of over. I wasn't a fan of anything that was really happening in the Australian comedy scene.

Nobody. But I wasn't plugged into what was then emergent in the american comedy scene like i was yes yeah which was shane and uh alex uh andrew schultz excuse me alex schultz alex schultz i was thinking alex jones andrew schultz oh that reminded me who go on no go on i just saw a stand-up set from Alex Jones today. Is it good? Oh, my God. It's not funny, but it's one of the most fun things.

All right, I'm looking forward to it. Tyler sent it to me on Instagram. Thank you, Tyler. Shout out to you. If you're listening, thank you. I would like to see it. Have you ever seen it? It goes on before Stanhope, and I think some sort of like...

He's opening for Stanhope? At Cap City here, actually, in 2002. alex jones going on before stanhope but it was not the cap is a different club yeah and he just talks about how we're going to war in the middle east over oil and how they're lying to us and no jokes no jokes at all and then someone gets mad at him in the front row and it tells him like shut up and he calls him a pussy and says he's going to beat the shit out of him. That's what you want. That's what you want before Stanhope comes out on stage.

They got a little unruly and then Stanhope has to come out and be like, let him talk. I want to hear him talk. He'll be done soon. And then he goes back away and then someone else tells him to shut up. I saw a flyer at my local patisserie,

the French patisserie. What the hell is that? Where they make macarons and things. And there was a flyer there for like, what are we going to do to stop the climate emergency? And we're going to have, it was something like, we'll listen to a string quartet

and then we'll talk about climate change. And I thought I should go to that to find out just to see uh progressive high-minded austin to witness it because it's it's happening parallel to me at the moment and i'm not in that world at all i'd like to know i see these people with their kamala things in their yard i don't know any of them i don't know anyone who's voting i don't think they're real i think they're just staged houses. We've got to reach out across the aisle.

You have to stake out the house. You'll never see someone come out. There are parallel realities taking place at the moment. Yeah. At least three. Well, what's the third one? Left, right, and don't care. And they're all entirely set.

You know, only two of them are interested in any one thing. So don't care and write you know they'll understand football but i don't think those kamala people they don't look like football homes to me they may not care about sport at all be surprised but yeah i'm interested i think some of them might definitely be football homes but for the most part certainly they're not following the wwe no i don't think they're following the wwe i think there are two americas there's npr america and wwe america and they don't collide i i'm trying to think of the two biggest things that you could have as cultural umbrellas

that don't intersect with each other and i think it's npr on the wwe also it's nice that they're both three letters yeah i think jre would would be more than wwe because wwe is truly feels niche niche and like there's a lot of people who like it that surprise me when i find out they like yeah i like, too. Oh, it's less niche. It has outliers. I think there's an NPR-JRE overlap. Yeah, that's true. I know people in Adelaide who are JRE. Maybe it's different in America. My neighbor is one.

She was like, do you do comedy, right? I was like, yeah. Did you ever go to Joe Rogan's club? I thought she was going to be so mad. Yeah. Because she has like a Beto sign on her lawn and like in this house, we believe no human.

She has like that long sign. And she's a Joe Rogan person. And she was like, I love him. He has really captivating interviews. And I was like, I expected you to ream me out for. This is,

I think. So that's a good, yeah, I guess it's not JR. I guess it's WWE, NPR. I don't want to, well, that's why good... Yeah, I guess it's not JR. I guess it's WWE NPR. I don't want to... Well, that's why... There's a high and low concept thing happening to WWE and NPR.

Whereas I think Joe Rogan has like high-minded things on there. Yeah, that's true. And it's also because it's a form of theater. Be careful. No, no, no, no, no. I saw you make your mistake earlier. Why would you bring that up on the air i mean from what i don't know joe rogan very well i only know from the podcast and from shaking his hand in green rooms me too but he seems like a genuinely uh

like a gen x lefty from the 90s yeah that seems to be where his uh positions are and then everybody moved and whenever people i man i find this with jordan peterson anyone who has listened to a lot of jordan peterson goes oh yeah that's it's fairly reasonable but the idea of people becomes very strange and i'm on the left is there an equivalent is there someone who's like, actually very reasonable, but just seems like a nut? Because the more I listen to like, the young Turks, the more I go,

I don't agree with anything these people say. These people are more wild than I thought. I don't really listen enough to know. I want to break into a left-wing audience. I want the lefties to like me. I want to go on the lefty podcast. I'm sure a lot of them do. I don't doubt that there are wonderful lefty progressive people listening,

but if I'm going to get the money for a boat, we're finally swinging around to the boat. I need the broadest possible audience, and I want to break into that left-wing bubble. I was thinking of having left-wing academics on the show. That'd be interesting. What would you talk to them about? Chapel Roan? Yes. Chapel Roan could come

on. I would like to have a climate change person come on because I have a theory about why the sea levels are rising. What's your theory? Well, you know when you get into a bath, the water goes up. You think too many people are swimming? Well, think of all the things we've put into the water. We've put tunnels. We have all these big tankers now, right?

Huge boats. Garbage. So every boat that goes in the water, water we've put tunnels we have all these big tankers now right huge boats garbage so every every boat that goes in the water an equal amount of water must be displaced i know the ocean's pretty big but is it possible and the amount that it's rising is very small is it possible that we've put so much stuff in the ocean that that's made the sea level go up i don't know you convinced me i just curious as to what a scientist has to say about it. I'd like it to be explained to me. That's all.

I'd like to listen to that. All right. That's a possibility. Left-wing academics. You've got to get a lib academic on. I guess I just start emailing faculties. They don't have to be famous. I could Zoom call with academics.

Yeah. It's just one idea among many of how we're going to grow a progressive fan base. It's a good idea. I like that. I like, you know. Monoculture. I want the monoculture

and I want it to be my boat podcast. That's right. I want to bring everybody together. Here's another thing. I need a hand symbol. I know. We were trying to figure one out

the other day. What's the Legion of Skanks one? It's this. On the audio podcast, this will mean nothing. Could you do it to me so I can see it and replicate? Okay. So it's very similar to throwing a diamond in the sky. Yeah, but it's supposed to be a circle and your thumbs touch at the bottom.

Skank. No, they cross. Yeah, like that. L-O-S. L-O-S. Skank man. Upside down love heart. Yes.

That's what it resembles. So there are, I mean, many, obviously the church has the sign of the cross. People have been doing this now, I found out. What's that for? Heart. Tiny one. Oh, no.

I don't care for that. Me neither. This one, i thought this is good but people won't think you're honest oh i thought it was like i hope he gets the boat oh it could be yeah true that's actually good but then also when you're telling a lie do you have this in australia do you know this old we had the truman show where there's a scene where she's getting married with that and that's how i found out about it but I'm sure we do it as well. Maybe we're just more comfortable lying. It is for good luck too.

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. We get the boat. I was thinking if it could be obviously I like that actually. That's pretty good. Right arm raised

straight above the head with the fingers out is not allowed. Yeah, that's not allowed. But that's a strong one. It's very strong. Fist. Make a fist.

I think that's taken as well. That's also been taken, yes. If it could if it could if it could emulate the catamaran in some way. I'll call to mind a boat. I know, we were trying to think of the catamaran. So here's a couple that I came up with. Parallel arms. Catamaran hoe.

Well, maybe both arms, right? The two arms. Now, that means something in football yeah field goal all right field goal symbol what do you think of that catamaran ho catamaran ho both arms straight up that's nice it's an option but it's a bit h for ho good yeah but it does you know it's not very i think you need something maybe this is good this is easy to do well if it could be if, you know, it's not very, I think you need something, maybe this is good. This is easy to do. Well, if it could be, it's got to be, I mean, this is devil symbol.

And they'll give you this. This is Satan, bullhorns, bullhorns, rock and roll. But it's also good because it's like parallel catamaran. See, it's the two things on a boat. Here's the other one, netting. Because there's netting between the house. That was just an idea. Cameraman ho.

It was an idea. I think the two arms in the air for the two houses. It's too much. And it's also where we're going upward. Oh, yeah. These are just ideas, but we do desperately need some sort of hand symbol. That is good to build a community. One finger.

All the most. Muslims have one finger. Is that right? There's one God. That's two natures. Oh, I see. I didn't know that. And the Trinity.

And the second person of the Trinity. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on in that one. Oh, I see. I didn't know that. And the Trinity and the second person of the Trinity. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on in that one. Pinky up. That's kind of nice too, actually. I'm sure that means

something in gang circles. Yeah. Well, they always used to say this is the Chinese middle finger. Is it? When I, where I grew up. Cameraman Ho.

Because you didn't want to get in trouble for giving someone the real middle finger. No, no. Oh, Chinese middle finger cause it's small yeah

and then thumbs up and thumbs down are taken thumbs sideways taken I think if it could be done with one hand that would be good middle fingers one hand is good

middle fingers that's just too much fingers crossed is nice that's getting there lower yeah low you could take low that no one's done low

yes so instead of the... Obviously, we... Because it's the opposite of the Heil Hitler, which we don't like at all. We don't like that. So then you put it low. Right. So we go the opposite.

So we say, bad Hitler. Catamaran up. Catamaran ho. Catamaran ho. Down. I'm thinking... You're casting a spell Yeah

Well I don't like that I don't like witchcraft Yeah that's right I think something with The fist is nice I like the fist The fist is nice But it's a little aggressive

What about This is Again that feels like That's something else That feels like That's something else Yeah Although mea culpa

Mea culpa Mea maxima culpa What about Okay saluting What about Oh fingers crossed at the head That's Have you seen Hearts of Darkness?

The Apocalypse Now? Yeah No There's a I watched a clip of Francis Ford Coppola's wife recorded him talking while he was making it

and then they they had a lot of footage behind the scenes and they made a documentary, anyway, they made this documentary about him making it. I heard about it. There's this one stretch where he's going like, I'm making a bad movie.

I'm making a bad movie. And like, and no one will tell me. And she's like, well, how do you add that up with the discrepancy of everyone thinks they're making a good movie? He's like,

they don't know. They've seen what's come before. I've got nothing. I don't have it. And then she goes, well um well you know i mean sometimes you you turn in your paper and it's a b instead of an a and that's all he goes i'm getting an f and then it goes like and the footage changes to a clip of him pointing a gun at his head and slowly zooms out it's a great picture what he's saying is i'm i'm trying to think of ways i can get out of this movie i'm thinking of getting myself hurt i look at the train tracks and i think if i fall down there maybe i'd die but maybe i'd get paralyzed so i could get out with some honor

and that's how i feel most days sometimes i relate to that a lot it's a hard knock life out here it's the hardest job in the world i'm trying to come up with something we can do with the hands the pamphlet is good the pamphlet is good what about this i'm my brother's sister's girl do you remember that from the david lynch movie no what's that fire walk with me i haven't seen it i love david lynch and i love twin peaks and then fire walk with me he goes I'm my brother's sister's girl I don't mind this he just does weird stuff or maybe like an eye patch

oh like yeah a sailor but I don't want people to catamaran ho then that blocks the shouting and the people won't shout as loudly maybe it's oh maybe that

oh this is good yeah cause we're looking at it cause yeah like catamaran ho For those who can't see We are shielding our eyes Like you're looking at something in the distance Yes Yes

Catamaran ho I like that That's good I like that too I don't mind that And it's also like saluting Yeah saluting the capon Catamaran ho But it's like it's got

Yes we hold the salute It's not just like, yeah. I don't want to do stolen valor. It's not a salute. It's not a salute. It's covering the eyes. It's important people know it's not a salute. That would be on the side.

It's full eye covering. You got to do that with two hands. True. Catamaran Heart. I like, I don't hate this. You got the pamphlet. You have this. Everything's looking up.

Well, we'll get a symbol next. That's the next episode. The symbol's close. This is good. No, this is the hand, well, what we call this, the gesture. We have the pamphlet, the gesture, and the symbol. We've got two of the three. This is, I'm calling this arc.

I'm thinking of doing like monthly arcs. This is the real cult building arc. Can I run hard? Okay, so everybody at home who's not listening, monthly arcs. This is the real cult building arc. Catamaran Ho! Okay, so everybody at home who's not listening, you're probably going to want to go to the YouTube. Catamaran Ho! We cover our eyes as if to look at something, almost a salute, but further along the face.

Catamaran Ho! Like that. Like that. Now, you're a great audio-visual producer. Thank you. And you do that for the matt and shane podcast yes your services are no doubt outside of my pay well i wouldn't say that what do you mean at the moment well i don't know you're happy to help i just i'll figure out something we need we've got

to we've got to we've got to get a boat we've got to get... A boat? We've got to take a great leap forward. Well, you're on the right track, James. I wouldn't worry about it. I worry every day. You can't worry. You've got to think about nothing like me.

No, I have a family to take care of. Yeah, that's true. I have a family to move on to a boat. I'm lucky that I don't have a family. I tell you, the family lights a fire right under the bum. Yeah, that's a good thing in some way. Yeah, to the extent that it shortens my life because I'm worried about doing well, it's bad.

But no doubt in terms of... I mean, I was messing around and doing nothing for years. I've been rapping for about 17 years. Do you know Rat-A-Tat? I don't think so. There's a song they have that opens with a guy going i've been rapping for about 17 years i don't rap my rhymes anymore i just kick it from my head you know what i'm saying i can do that no disrespect but that's how i am so even though

it's only been 16 years i've done stand-up comedy when people ask 16 years i always go for about since i've been doing it for 14 years open sand for about 17 years but it's coming up 17 years is so long well i started when i was 17 really and i'm 33 coming up on 34 34 catamaran ho i love this gesture yeah this is a really good gesture catamaran ho i'm glad we got that we got that out of the way But yes in terms of It's only the children That really made me go I need to be able to provide For these people

My wife doesn't work I'm the sole provider I play a lot of James Brown Around the house You gotta get her To start doing a podcast Start earning her keep around here Don't think I haven't thought

About asking her to do a podcast Her own separate podcast. I've asked her to take over my Patreon many times. And I thought it would be funny if she just recorded secretly. And I never listened to it. But she just spent 20 minutes a week saying things she saw me doing that week and how she thinks it's going for me. That is very funny, actually.

I thought that would be a sweet thing. But she will sometimes be on the podcast in another part of the room or off microphone. She's a very private person. Yeah. But she's also very funny and very quick. Yeah. And I love her so much.

And I... Oh, excuse me. It's getting hot in here. I'm sorry. I'll turn the air conditioner back on. That's okay. I don't have much else to talk about. I was talking about this yesterday.

I do so many podcasts. I talk into a microphone and I never have anything to say. I don't believe much else to talk about. I was talking about this yesterday. I do so many podcasts. Talking to a microphone and I never have anything to say. I don't believe that that's true. I think you have beautiful things to say and you're currently, you might be suffering a block. I am definitely suffering a block. But what are you going to do? We've talked about some stuff on this one. We're going to live virtuously.

And we're going to be someone worthy of the truth. I hope so. I believe we can wound ourselves to the truth. And I do it all the time. I've done it a couple times today. But we've got to try and live truth. Excuse me, that's weak. That's weak and soft.

The important thing. Man, I don't know. Man. Man. Yeah, right? Well, we're going to gig tonight. Yeah, we're going to do a little show. We need some food. I'm getting hungry.

What would you like to have for dinner? I don't know. I can't have tacos again. Something quick, yeah. Something quick. Something quick? Not tacos. You know what I would really love?

Yeah, whatever you want. And if we can't have it, I understand. I would like, and if it's too expensive, I'm happy to have it be my treat. I don't have and if we can't ever understand i would like and if if it's too expensive i'm happy to have it be my treat i don't have a lot of money but i really would like it i would like a french onion soup okay i had a french onion soup with shane in philadelphia at a place called park yeah park park i'd never been there before we were dressed very much down yeah um i'd never i thought i'd had a french onion soup i realized i'd had french onion dip french onion soup entirely different yeah much more wet

and it made me it felt so distinctly european it felt like the american brain and i love american i love americans i love america it felt so un-american the french onion soup it felt like there were so many things happening to feel that required tradition and a level of incoherence i mean what it is for the uninitiated as i was it tastes like a beefy soup sort of onions cheese there's bread in the soup, first of all. There's like bread floating around in the soup. And it's in a bowl. And the cheese is on top and on fire.

Charred sometimes. Charred. I mean, there's something very... Enlightenment philosophy about American food. Let's make the best possible sandwich. That's the burger. And the perfect side, that's the fries. And we've got that right.

Bang. What's a lovely meat to have? Hot dog. Let's do that perfectly. Let's have meat bread. Meat bread. Meat bread. All the great American cuisines, even the Tex-Mex.

What's that? Taco? Meat bread. The French onion soup felt otherworldly. It felt like only a people in tune with the sublime. If you were to sit down and talk to a man who's offering you money at a bank to help make a food, you could pitch the hamburger. You could say, it's great buns pitch the hamburger you could say it's great

it's great buns it's great cheese it's great lettuce it's great meat it's all together and there's some hot chips on the side french fries french fries and people would go wonderful i'll invest in that that makes sense to me if you went in there and you said it's the french onion soup it's french onions it's a brown goo There's bits of bread floating around in it. The cheese is on top, and we've set it on fire. People would go, I don't believe this. And it comes in a little bowl with a handle on the side. A little bowl with a handle.

And then snails come out to the table. And then frogs' legs. I've never had either of those two. Me neither. But I don't think you could pitch that. It's something that cannot be explained and that must be experienced. So yummy. I found that very beautiful.

That is beautiful. I'm glad you liked it so much. I'd like to have French onion soup. It's funny that you didn't. You said it's expensive. It's not expensive. I don't know what a French onion soup costs. But I had such a wonderful time at the French onion soup.

You go to the soup place over there. I'd like to do that, actually. The soup peddler? Which soup peddler? Do time with the french onion soup place over there i'd like to do that actually i want to get peddler well which soup did they do a french onion soup uh maybe i mean they got it in the name french onion i'd like to get a tomato soup and a grilled cheese it's my favorite combination that's a good combination it's like a mozzarella stick but flat i don't think i've had unless unless i've gone uh bold and wild and had them add something or gone a weird one on the menu a bad grilled cheese in america oh yeah i'm sure they're out there but so far they've been really great yeah i've had some that really stick in the i went to

a mechanics book when i was driving to new york and i thought it'd be nice to stop in at shane's family's Down Syndrome Cafe. Have I told you this story? I don't think so. I looked up Down Syndrome Cafe on the Google Maps and I went to this place and it was the best grilled cheese I've ever had in my life. And I thought, that's nice that they've got a great grilled cheese here because of his joke.

And I realized sometime later it was the wrong cafe. It was not a Down Syndrome cafe. The Down Syndrome cafe is called Knorr, and nothing lets you know it's a Down Syndrome cafe. This one was called Down to Earth, which is why I thought it was the Down Syndrome cafe. I thought they were doing a pun on Down Syndrome. And I just thought,

I guess the Down Syndrome people aren't working today. It's just the college girls have come. And was very embarrassing that is embarrassing but it's very funny i texted very funny that you expected it to be like i texted shane i said i met i look at this i'm at this cafe and he said great you should go to nor and i thought why would he ask me to go to a cafe that's not the Down Syndrome Cafe. Maybe it's just great coffee there and now that I've had the Down Syndrome coffee, I can have the fancy upmarket.

No, no, it's the same. I got it very wrong. Yeah, you messed up. I'm sorry. It would be funny if they branded it like that on Google Maps. In hindsight. It's a bit ridiculous

that you thought it was going to be left. It's the Down With It Cafe. Yeah, that to be less. It's the down with it cafe. Yeah, that wouldn't be a nice thing to do. I didn't. I was very tired. You had a long trip. It was, well, we were also at the end of the dinner. I remember when you went to New York.

You had such a nice place in New York. Did I tell you how I got that place? You watched the show there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I won't need to tell that again. Well, that's a good story. Now that I've tasted living on the Upper West Side

and I I believe that was a $2,000 a night Airbnb and the story of that is on the podcast I didn't deserve it I didn't have to pay for it but now that I've seen

that that's how people can live that's how the the richest yeah that's how the richest Jews can live in America yeah it's very hard to

accept anything anything else. I feel like my first sexual experience was a threesome with some Playboy bunnies. And then you go and you try and kiss a lady and you can't. Have you seen the Beyond the Mat documentary? I don't think so. There's a bit with Jake the Snake Roberts. Oh, no, I haven't seen that.

Oh, he talks about... He goes, you know, you leave home. You leave your wife and you go out on the road. I'm going to do his accent all wrong. You go out on the road and you start doing it with a girl. Then two girls, bunch of girls, bunch of girls with toys. You go home, try and make love to your wife. You just can't do it.

Anyway, that's how i feel about living in the upper west side some of this is getting cut now you need to you need to tell a big beautiful anecdote what's your best ever anecdote i don't have many anecdotes man what would you what would you want about my childhood maybe yes let people get to know you i don't like to be put on the spot like this is the interview part i apologize well i'll coax you into it you know it's coming now but uh i mean i've gotten to know you a little bit i've seen your home beautiful we've talked about a lot uh but you are very reserved in terms of the public persona that comes out you're a mystery i don't think you say that all

the time and i don't think that's true i I remember when I started listening to the Matt and Shane podcast, I thought, who is this deep-voiced man? And I didn't find any more. And I tried to find your stand-up comedy. It's very hard to find your stand-up comedy on the internet. Well, that's what I want. I don't think I'm ever going to publish any stand-up comedy ever. Why?

I like this. Because I like it that way. It makes me feel good it makes me feel different I know well there's Daniel I mean I won't have a

career or anything but one day you're going to impregnate a woman and you'll need the money yeah yeah until I have a family

I'll never put out any stand up well I respect that actually I think it's good to have the mystery and I'm sorry that any of the mystery is you shouldn't go on anyone's podcast yeah i don't want to but i was happy to talk to you today that was nice i appreciate i don't have any anecdotes i don't mean to let you down i know i feel like every story that's ever happened to me i've told over and over and over again i feel

like a broken record and podcasting yeah anything that ever happens to me that's any interesting i just tell immediately and then i understand but uh let me think that's my new thing i want to be the reverse harry nielsen only perform live did harry nielsen never perform live rarely he performed i didn't know that he didn't really tour or anything he was scared i didn't well i'm scared to record myself i don't think he was also blackout drunk almost all of the time. Yeah, he was a problem. But he's so, what a beautiful voice. Gotta get up, gotta get out,

gotta get on before the morning comes. What if I'm late? Gotta be late. Did you see Russian Doll? No, what's that? That is the red-headed woman from Orange is the New new black she's very funny Natasha oh yeah the on the only beginning the own she did a challenge the first season who I like who

do you like Sasha Baron Cohen's wife Isla Fisher I think they're beautiful oh i know great news shame go on sorry i just oh no she's loving i'm trying to think what she was in wedding crashes she was in beach bum i was just talking about beach bum the other day i i love beach bum big chrissy showed me that one i'm working i'm being encouraged very strongly to see beach bumum. Harmony Korine. Yes, I wrote a screenplay. McConaughey. And several friends have said this is very Harmony Korine-esque and that it's like, you know, vignettes and it's non-traditional, blah, blah, blah. And my gut impulse is to go, I must now, having never seen a Harmony movie, Harmony Korine, everyone I know whose opinion I respect says he's a great filmmaker.

I never saw Spring Breakers. I just saw that scene. It looks great. I didn't see that either. People really love his movies. If my thing has anything in common with him, I think I should avoid watching all of his work until it comes out so I don't accidentally just make his movie.

That's my... Yeah, that's fair. I wonder. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it could help in helping you avoid making a movie that's like him too, if you wonder. Yeah. At the moment, I have perfect ignorance. And if people say, this is very similar to a Harmony movie, I can say, no, it's not.

Okay. I could be wrong. Yeah, I get that. That's hard to say. Like if someone, I don't know what to do, but he seems like one of the few interesting filmmakers. I've read all the Wikipedia pages and Beach Bum is the one specifically. Beach Bum is great. Nice.

What did you like about Beach Bum? I haven't seen it in a while, but I just remember enjoying it. It's very pretty looking. It's on the beach. You like the main character a lot. Moondog is his name. He's sort of just like a vagabond. When does this come out in the Matthew McConaughey?

I don't know. Maybe not so long ago. I think it was more recently than Spring Breakers. Okay. And yeah, it's just a lot of cool cameos, a lot of cool characters. Matthew McConaughey is kind of, I couldn't even really tell you what the movie is about anymore. Matthew McConaughey is in Austin. Am I right?

Yeah, he's a Tex... I don't know if he's in Austin, but he's definitely a... He's a University of Texas fan. And he's like an Austin guy. Like, they love him around here. Do you know Bill Callahan? No, who's that? Bill Callahan is...

Really recently he came out. Bill Callahan's, I think, the best singer-songwriter in America and he lives here. He used to go by Smog. Smog. Smog. He was with Joanna Newsom for a time. I don't know if you know Joanna. On the way to the French onion soup,

I'm going to play you my favorite Bill Callahan song. Yeah. Well, you showed me Nick Cave. That was cool. Can't believe Americans don't know Nick Cave. Yeah, never heard of him before. I don't believe

I'm a beach bum Let's go get French onion soup I'm starving I'll edit that up Alright, I hope it turns out okay I love you, God bless you I want you, I need you Catamaran ho

Catamaran ho Get that pamphlet out there Pamphlet Please come see me on the road too Oh yeah, sugar, sorry That's alright, just If you can, I'll be in tempe and on september 11th whoa don't bring it up

this episode is brought to you by google pixel i'm jesse crickshank i host the number one comedy podcast called phone a friend i also have three kids i need help making every day easier so i switched to google pixel. It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant. Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera. I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9. Learn more at store.google.com.